NORTH

by SkeIePone

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Dark
Length: 1691

Living in the Equestrian Arctic sucks. A collection of stories about those who live in the North.

This is a small, insignificant collection of stories for when I can't seem to shake off my writer's block.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-02 04:00:02 UTC

In Which He Receives A Cold Welcome

One of Ninevolt’s most easily recognizable traits is his intense hatred of the cold.

He hated how it felt like a million needles attacking his skin, making his coat bristle, and his body involuntarily shudder in a practically futile attempt to keep warm. Ninevolt hated how the moisture from his breath collected into a dense fog right before his very eyes. And he especially hated how the snow and ice at his hooves would melt into a soppy, cold mess before instantly refreezing.

Ninevolt was born in Canterlot, raised in Ponyville; both of which were mild at the least. The fact that the unicorn stallion was now subjected to the below-freezing temperatures of the frozen desert. ‘The Very Top of Equestria’, the recruitment pony had said to Ninevolt. It had sounded to exciting and thrilling and adventurous!

But no. This place was cold, it was dull, it was windy, and it was fairly hard to see. That was thanks to the reflecting sunlight on the snowfall and the still tumbling flakes that danced their way to join their brethren on the ground. Ninevolt sniffled, thinking that his nose was stuffed, then realized to disgust that his snot had frozen in his nostrils. Using a quick magic spell to remove the gross-sicles, Ninevolt let out a retching sound and tried his best not to shed any tears over the pain. He didn’t want to have to remove frozen teardrops from his peach-colored coat.

Ninevolt was at a train station. Well, calling it a train station was generous. It was the only train station outside of the Crystal Empire, and even then the station resembled the outhouses that Ninevolt used to see all the time back in Ponyville. Especially around the Sweet Apple Acres area…

Ninevolt shivered and cast a grouchy look in the direction of the outhouse-thing. He really didn’t want to go into it, but he didn’t exactly have a choice. It was probably the only shelter within a week’s trot of the station. Unless Ninevolt laid himself under the creaking floorboards. Which seemed like suicide to the unicorn stallion.

He shook off the collection of snowflakes accumulating on his back and made his cautious, chilled way towards the tall, elongated building that both resembled and smelled like an absolute shithole.

Of course, the scent could be much worse, but Ninevolt’s nose was sealed shut by frozen mucus.

Ninevolt finally reached the shoddy building. He tore open the crooked door and shoved himself into what must have been the smallest office in all of Equestria. It was a few degrees warmer in the small room, which was good enough for Ninevolt. There was a single heart-shaped hole in the door for light, a swivel chair situated in the center of the room. There was also a shelf, on it were a few books and what could only have been a sandwich at some point in the past.

Ninevolt observed the artifacts. The books were on various, unmatched topics. Pyromancy for Pros, Skeleton Horse’s Compendium of Common Curses, and The Colt Scouts’ Guide to Surviving the Wilderness. After some thought, Ninevolt pocketed the last of the books, the one he considered to be the most useful and most definitely safe one to use. He had every intention of returning the book, of course.

When he was done with it.

...

Maybe.

Now clearly situated in the small hideaway, all Ninevolt had to do now was wait for his new coworker to show up. He removed the wide-brimmed hat from his head, allowing his multi-colored mane to fall free. Striped clumps of brown, orange, and navy hair flopped down until it formed a familiar rope-like style.

Ninevolt shivered and pulled his parka tighter around his body.

“Why did I ever come here?” Ninevolt moaned to himself. Naturally, he already knew the answer to that.

Work had always been easy to come by down in Ponyville. Or so it had initially seen. Ninevolt had somehow managed to get laid off of every single occupation he had forced himself into. He had tried working as a bartender at Berry Punch’s small pub, only to catch Berry’s entire stock on fire and nearly burn the place to the ground. He had worked as an assistant to DJ Pon-3, setting up speakers and whatnot. But it’s not best to accidentally spill several gallons of water on your boss’s super-expensive mixing table. Ninevolt didn’t even want to remember what it was like working in Time Turner’s laboratory.

When a very homeless and very hungry Ninevolt had come across the recruitment stallion for Equestrian Post’s Arctic Division, he eagerly drank up the uniformed poststallion’s sugar-coated story about the fantastical land that the Frozen North was supposed to be. SUPPOSED to be.

If he ever got to see that smug bastard again, Ninevolt swore to himself, he would kick in his perfect gleaming teeth.

Who knows? Maybe he could make a new friend. Or hopefully a marefriend. Ninevolt stopped himself from fantasizing about Northern beauties beckoning him to bed with them and returned his mindset to discovering more grievances about the North. First of all, there was nopony here to help him. Second, the closest civilization was a marathon away and from what Ninevolt could gather, the entire city was made out of rocks. Solid, clear, cold rocks.

Ninevolt continued to bemoan his predicament. He didn’t exactly notice a tall, looming shadow waiting just outside the office window.

A thunderous knock on the door made Ninevolt jump in fright.

Before he could call out, a second and third knock made Ninevolt jump so much that the little stool he had been sitting on crumpled under the stress, snapping in half and sending him crashing to the ground.

“Allo? Eez somepony in there?”

A thickly accented voice rumbled through the air.

“Uhhhhhh…” Ninevolt vocalized, in a daze and a lot of pain from having so many splinters shoved right up where the Sun doesn’t shine. “Help?”

“I will open door now. Hope you are out of way.”

With that, the door flung open. A billow of snow and ice clouded into the room, forming a chilly mist that clouded around the enormous pony standing before him. Ninevolt knew that earth ponies could grow to be big, but this pony was unnaturally colossal. The pony was twice his size, in height, girth, and musculature. As the haze cleared, Ninevolt could see the stallion’s coat was dark, not quite black but almost. And the stallion’s mane was covered by a large brown bomber hat that had a bright red star in its center. The stallion’s amber eyes regarded the smaller one’s green eyes with mild bemusement.

“Ah allo, comrade. You must be new pony. I am North, Way North. I see you broke stool.” The stallion, North, introduced himself in his peculiar thick accent. The hulking stallion brushed some snow and detriment off of Ninevolt’s shoulders with a hoof almost the same size as the smaller stallion’s head.

Ninevolt scrambled to his hooves and looked down at the mess with horror. He scrambled down to survey the damage. Ninevolt shakily tried to stack the wood chips back into their original position, failing several times before finally giving up with a gasp.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! I can fix it, I swear, just let me find some glue and-”

“Pah.” North interjected. “Eez fine. Nopony use that seat for years. Now it make good firewood.”

“A-Are you sure nopony will mind?”

“Positive. Nopony step hoof in here in many years. Eez very drafty. Used to be porta-potty, too. That was only toilet for miles. Good job breaking toilet, new pony.”

Ninevolt let out a noise of disgust as North brushed him aside to gather the scraps of wood and place them in the large saddlebags at the larger stallion’s sides.

“So what eez name?” North asked, tossing a few chips in with the slabs for good measure.

“M’name’s Ninevolt.”

“Very good, Comrade Ninevolt. We go now.” North turned around and began to trot away. Ninevolt shook his head in surprise. “Winter storm on its way. We do not want to become pony-sicles.”

“Wait. That’s it?”

North looked back at Ninevolt, raising an eyebrow. “Vhat?”

“No welcomes, no rules and regulations? You’re not even gonna give me a walkthrough on how to SURVIVE in this utter pissfield?! I’m not just a temp you know. I happen to need this job to be a little more permanent.”

North grimaced and Ninevolt knew instantly that he should have worded that with a little more caution. “If that eez how you feel about my home, then no. You do not get as you say ‘a walkthrough’. You are no tiny baby stallion. You can walk through on your own.”

Ninevolt blinked in surprise, then quickly shook his head, trying to get everything straight. Realizing the giant really was leaving him behind, Ninevolt sprang up and galloped as fast as he could in his fluffy parka, trying to keep up with Way North.

“Woah, woah! Back it up, guy! I didn’t mean to insult you or nothin’! I mean, gosh, I only just met ya!”

North snorted. “First… what is Equestrian word?… ah yes; first impression was good. I now think you are whiny baby stallion.”

“I mean, you seem like a nice enough, erm… pony? Half-horse? Full-horse? No?”

North said nothing.

“Listen… sorry for calling your home a… pissfield. But I really didn’t want to be here in the first place. I will willingly admit right now that yes. I am a baby stallion and I like to be warm. This place is the very opposite of what it means to be warm, so you kinda get why I’m a bit resentful.”

“Baby stallion think I want to be here?” North rumbled. “No. Have family to feed. I have no time to take care of whiny baby stallion. You want ‘rules, regulations’? I take you to Crystal Kingdom. You find rules, regulations there.”

Ninevolt felt his ears droop to the sides of his head.

So much for new friends.