Done by a Single Night

Okay, finally back. Will release oneshot. If you don't get the reference below, it will be extremely awkward.

The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night.

Well, I don't know why I decided to just randomly freeze and say that.

We were clocked fifteen hours or so overtime so I thought 'hey. Why don't we just take a break for a few days, catch up on life?' the others agreed it was a good idea, so I decided to leave. Little did I know how bad of an idea this was.

First thing I did, walking out the door,  I already had a problem. It presented itself in the form of a certain mailmare's glare across the cloud cover.

"Uhh… morning' Derpy!" she said nothing. Even though I did nothing, really. Probably associates me with evil. Most ponies do that.

"Look, I'm sorry. Was… working overtime, you could say. Couldn't think straight. Probably should've stopped them, not gone after you."

After a long silence she looked down. "Why do you care."

Why… do I care? I really can't answer that. Why do I care about any of this? The Dark Hour, Shadows, puppet governments with smaller-than-puppet-size rulers… just why? I don't really know. It is fun, I guess.

"Umm… why not? Look, I can't just stand back and watch somepony get bullied. I mean, I did get my cutie mark for stopping a few colts from picking on Fluttershy." That sounds legit enough to me.

She thought about it, staring at the clouds. I didn't see the fire die in her eyes, though. "…I guess I can thank you for at least shortening that session. Thanks."

"You're welco- session?" she talked about this like it was a usual occurrence.

"Well, I have more mailboxes to potentially fill. Bye." she flew off, too fast for me to ask anything. Well, at least I'm on good terms with at least somepony now.

Time for more exciting things. I get to catch up on Spitfire now! Where did she say she was going? Carousel Boutique. Should still be there; 'parentally Dark Hour is just extra time. I wonder if I still age when there. I mean, if I keep doing this, I could get lag and die like, twenty years earlier than all my friends for no reason. Hmm.

The familiar round walls that I seldom crashed into welcomed me… as I crashed into them. I heard a yelp from inside. So Rarity's home. I waited for her to go all OCD on me and jump out with an army of construction tools to go fix up whatever nicks I put in there.

I waited. She didn't come. It was starting to worry me. Did somepony kidnap Rarity? There's no way she wouldn't come out of there… unless…

I went inside and was immediately seized by her. "Oh. Sweet. Celestia. Rainbow! Guess what?!"

"You got an important order?"

"Yes! Guess who its for!"

"Sapphire Shores? Um, Photo Finish? That dude I forget the name of?"

"You should be ashamed of yourself," she said, brushing dust off her coat.

"Why?"

"Because! My order is to create the new uniform for the Wonderbolts!"

"Wh- wha-"

"Yes!" she looked up with stars in her eyes. Like, literal stars. I still don't know how to do that. Everypony else seems to be able to do that.

"So- you and Spitfire-" she nodded.

"If I fulfill this order, you know how much prestige I'd earn? This is like, the order! I may have tailored for other celebrities, but the ponies are there for the music; those uniforms have nothing to do with their profession. On the other hoof, the Wonderbolts rely on good uniforms. Flying, endurance, whatever."

"And the money. Don't forget the money."

"Yeah yeah that to- the money! Right! Coupled with that, I might be able to expand my business!"

"Hmm. Where you planning?"

"Canterlot!"

I let that sink in. "Isn't that… a little expensive?"

"Oh, you don't understand." she pulled me over and showed me a check. I whistled.

"I haven't seen that many zeroes since… well… never."

"I know, right!" right as I recognized the Ursa Major in her eyes they went back to normal. "But, there's one problem…"

"Yes?"

"I know nothing about flight. Which means I have no idea how to make this uniform work." she looked down, then quickly snapped up. "Oh! You can help me!"

"What, I uh-" I was beginning to back up slowly. She pursued.

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

"I don't like fancy clothes-"

"Rainbow. Honestly now. You really thought I would force somepony into something like this? Really now. That is most unbecoming of a lady."

"But what about that one time-"

"Yes yes whatever. You do realize this is the Wonderbolts we are talking about. You are a pegasus, but not only that a fast one. If you idealize the uniform, and it performs better for the Wonderbolts than their last one-"

"Then they'll think its cause of me!"

"Indeed. Now, do you fully acknowledge the dire importance of this?"

"Indeed. I mean, yes."

"Great! We can start tomorrow!"

I left, then realized what I walked myself into, but just sighed. There's no way I'm getting out of this one.

Well… I'm bored. And from the sounds of it, Spitfire isn't here anymore. I'm hungry. Waffles are good. Pinkie will have waffles.

I flew over there, as, hey, I get weekends off. I mean, who wants rain on the weekends? Or the week? Well then I wouldn't get paid. Plus, we have farms.

"Pinkie! Open up shop! Its the freaking weekend!"

The doors were still tinted. A certain pink mare didn't respond.

"C'mon! I'm hungry! Don't you want money?!" still no response.

Why hadn't they opened shop yet? If Pinkie forgot, surely the Cakes would have opened shop.

I flew down and picked up a rock with my hoof. It arced up and hit the window, which I hoped was Pinkie's bedroom.

"Waa! Waa!" the sounds of foals crying filled the air. Damnit. Out of all the wrong windows I could choose…

I heard a groan from the other window. The one I should've bucking hit. Well, now I know which one's right.

"I'm coming! Just wait!" Okay, that is Pinkie's room, more specifically.

"Yo! Open up! I'm starving out here!"

"Wha- just wait a sec Rainbow I-"

"Waa! Waa!"

Well, she doesn't seem very happy. After about ten minutes she was done with… whatever, she'd finally gotten the door open.

I scanned her tired face. "You don't look so good…"

"Wha? Yeah…"

"Where's Mr. and Mrs. Cake?"

"Huh? They uh… went away cause um… err…" she began to fall asleep. I shook her.

"Wha- oh um, so what?"

"Why are they out?"

"Oh, so um, they got a special order… big wedding cake… Canterlot... three weeks..."

"Wh- three weeks?!"

"Yeah... foals... babysit... three weeks..."

"That sounds... like a big deal..."

"Hmm? Yeah... well I asked for it though, so-"

"Why... would anypony ask for that?"

"Huh? Iunno I'm tired gimme a break..." she closed the door. Well, looks like I won't be eating there.

Well... Fluttershy has free food.

I wonder what she'll have this time. I tend to rely on other ponies for food as, well, my kitchen's a war zone. Loyal, not generous or honest.

Over the forest, down to the valley and... she's out with her animals. Go figure. Who else has food. Lemme think. Rarity's working. Fluttershy's out. Pinkie's masochistic. Applejack's bucking trees. And Twilight's rea- wait, yeah. She probably doesn't have to read that much. Right?

When I got to Twilight's tree, she wasn't there. But there was a table out with a set of weird sciency vials and stuff. 'Scrolls into drinkable potions', a book nearby read. That doesn't sound tasty. At least its edible. I looked around. She still wasn't here. Maybe I can make myself a food potion? That sounds like a good idea.

Food conjuring scroll... okay, so I need a fruit, a leaf, and a vegetable. Nearby apple definitely not stolen from Applejack. Check. Leaf also definitely not stolen from Applejack. Check. Carrot that legitimately wasn't stolen from Applejack. Lucky break.

Okay, so, I put them all on top of a piece of 'enchanted parchment', which looked like normal paper to me. This is like cooking from a cookbook. Except the difference is that by now, I haven't killed anything. Which is generally a good sign.

So, the bottle... right. You put the scroll into the bottle thingy, and seal it with wax and stuff, and there.

Let's see what this tastes li- oh dear... that floor looks nice...

*WHUMP*

"Rainbow. Get up. Rainbow. Oh Celestia this isn't good..."

"Mmmph..." I groggily got up. I was on Twilight's couch. "...y-yeah?"

"Oh, good! You aren't dead! I mean, paralyzed. I mean, asleep. Right."

"Wha- oh, okay..."

"...so... what did you make? Did you potentially destroy something valuable by chance?"

"Err, just my stomach..."

"Great! So, why are you here?"

"I'm hungry..."

"So you poisoned yourself with magic?"

"...yes."

"...let's find something more edible for you to have."

Of course, Twilight being the file cabinet she is, we went over to the exact same restaurant we did last time.

"Is this the only place you go?"

"Erm... no. Sometimes you guys invite me to other places to eat..."

"That doesn't count."

"Well, yeah... I guess..."

"C'mon! Don't you have anywhere else?"

She scratched the floor with her hooves. "...no."

"...Twi, no offense, but that's kinda sad..."

"I know..."

"Don't you ever try something new?"

"Never find the time..."

"Well, you don't have to study all the-"

"Mares," a dude in a fancy suit pulled up. "May I please take your order?"

"Oh uh, I'll have a skip sandwich."

"And, I'll have the daisy sandwich."

"Thank you." he walked away.

"See! You did it again! You always get the daisy sandwich. Now, where was I... oh yeah. So umm, you don't have to study all the time... so, why don't you just go out, try to have some fun sometimes?"

"...I don't know... I'm not used to it... Celestia always wanted me to study. Never really gave me time with my friends, which I guess could kinda account for me not knowing where the Tartaros they are..."

"Hmm. Well, this can only mean one thing."

"What?"

"Its time for me to get you a life, because it doesn't look like you can find one."

"Hey!"

"What. Its true."

"But not now. I have some spells to practice when I get- oh. I see."

I nodded. "Tomorrow, then. Try not to get yourself into more research."

"Okay, fine, fine..."

"Now, our food's going to arrive soon. Let's eat!"

I felt the effects of the skip sandwich already. I dashed into my home 20% faster.

The sight of my bed filled me with happiness. Then I remembered what kinds of dreams I've had in it That made me embarrassed, sad, angry, and tired at the same time.

Can't let that stop me now. Its so comfy...

AN: So freaking sorry for late upload. At least I uploaded a few oneshots. Like this! And this.