oh good god what have i done
Old spice guy goes to eqestria
Princess luna was sipping on her tea while reading the latest copy of astrology weekly, while celestia was eating sun cake and reading bakers monthly but then there was a bright flash and the sisters gaze when aimed at the sphere of red and white light, then out of the light, a heavy set black man in a red speedo walked out holding a bottle of old spice.
“WHAT THE BUCK!!!” shouted celestia, lunas gaze was immediately pointed at celestia, she had never heard her sister curse but as she had the thought both of the princesses were blasted out of the tower.
Luna landed safely in a bush but as soon as she landed her sister smashed head first in the concrete ground of canterlot, the high-class ponies of canterlot immediately surrounded them.
Fancy pants approached them.
“I say there, what happened to you two?” said fancy pants in his unique accent, which reminded ponies of great neighland.
Luna looked at her sister who now had a broken nose and back at the tower
“I DON’T KN—“ but before she could finish her sentence the strange creature, which blasted them out of the tower, was flying overhead.
“OOOOOLD SPICE BODY IS TO POWERFULL TO STAY IN ONE DIMENSION!!!!!” he then shot into the sky leaving a trail white and red and making the area smell strongly of old spice
“Sister, we must stop it before it before it causes any damage” said celestia sternly to her sister but she had her eyes and was sniffing deeply and slowly.
“SISTER” shouted celestia, which caught her sister’s attention.
“wha—oh, right” then the sisters both launched themselves into the air following the creature into the air
Keeping up with the strange creature was difficult but not impossible when the creature finally stopped celestia spoke up.
“BEGONE FROM THESE LANDS CRETURE” celestia shouted, horn pointed to the strange beast.
The creature took a deep breath.
“ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” old spice guy shouted at celestia blasting her back a few feat in the air.
“Then you leave me no choice” celestia said viciously pointing her horn towards this creature.
She charged her horn full of her strongest magic and launched it at the creature, the creature hit her ball of magic and it dissipated
“OLD SPICE BODY OUDOUR BLOCKER BLOCKS HUGE BALLS OF POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” he shouted while pumping his chest muscles.
Celestia’s mouth was agape; she launched another ball at it.
“BLOCK” the creature half shouted while punching the ball of energy launched at him.
Celestia had another idea she teleported behind the creature and tried firing another ball of energy at the creature from behind to catch it by surprise but to her surprise the creature turned and around.
“BLOCK” half shouted the creature as it blocked yet another ball of energy
Celestia was getting angry; she began teleporting at every possible angle-firing ball of energy at the creature only to it being blocked by the creature, she came to a stop panting
“How (pant) are (pant) you (pant) so (pant) powerful—“ she didn’t get to finish her sentence as the creature began to take a huge breath.
“OLD SPICE BODY ODOUR BLOCKER GIVES YOU” he stopped, taking a huge breathes, while he was doing this Luna had her eyes closed and slightly drooling due to the smell this creature was giving off.
“POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” he said this while shouting at celestia, taking off her fur and feathers, she looked like a featherless chicken.
Celestia gasped and began covering her non-existent ecstremities, Luna was broken out her trance and looked at her sister and began laughing at the ridiculousness of sister.
Old spice guy then turned towards Luna and took yet again another huge breath.
Luna looked at the creature in fear dreading what would come next, she covered her face with her hooves, shut her eyes tight.
“POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” shouted old spice guy covering Luna in elaborate armor and veils with a black diamond crown.
“wha” Luna said, voice full of confusion, looked over herself admiring her new apperence, she felt strangely….. Powerful.
Celestia let out an annoyed grunt and summoned up the biggest ball of fire she could conjure and fired it at the creature and to her satisfaction it hit the creature and sent him flying towards canterlot.
Old spice guy crashed into a one of canterlots many buildings.
Both of the princesses were hovering out side of the building the creature crashed into, celestia still donning her naked appearance and Luna still in her armor that made her feel strangely…. Powerful.
Celestia began flying slowly towards the crater inside of the building because a lack of feathers is incredibly hard, even for the princess of the sun but to her disbelief, there was movement from the wreckage and she began to fly backwards never taking her eyes away from the wreckage.
Old spice guy began to rise from the wreckage, still grasping the old spice bottle in his hand and with no signs of injury he took another deep breathe.
“OLD SPICE BODY ODOUR BLOCKER REFUSES TO ALLOW THIS FIGHT TO END” he then jumped feet first out of the building hitting celestia in the face breaking her nose.
“KICK” he shouted sending him and celestia plummeting towards the ground.
Celestia was spread eagle on the ground while old spice guy was sitting on top of her, crotch dangerously close to her face, he then put his free hand into a fist and punched her face with such a force it fixed her nose but then immediately broke it again.
Celestia grabbed her nose as old spice guy back flipped of her and pointed towards her, then to her surprise she erupted into flames with ear shattering boom.
“EXSPOLOSION” shouted old spice guy as he took a masculine pose.
Celestia boiled with anger, heat doesn’t affect her for she IS princess of the sun, she stood up on all fours and pointed her horn towards the sun.
“SOL, I COMMAND THEE FOR ALL POWER THOU HAST TO OFFER” she shouted in her royal cantorlot voice and the sun began to glow blindingly bright and beams of light began to head towards old spice guy, old spice guy began to take a huge breath his biggest yet
“OLD SPICE BODY ODOUR BLOCKER HAS THE POWER TO BLOCK OUT THE SUN” he shouted and immediately the world was covered in black the only light coming from celestias mane, Lunas new armor and old spice guy himself
“but then it gets too cold, so we make another sun” as soon as he said that another identical sun appeared next to the original and they both shone brighter than they ever have.
“DOUBLE SUN POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRR” shouted old spice guy as he flexed his pecks and began to glow a brilliant orange, then the world around began to turn to ash under the heat of the sun, even Celestia began to burn away
“HOW THE BUCK DID THIS HAPPEN” celestia shouted before turned completely into ashes.
After the world was completely ashen only two figures remained , Luna and old spice guy.
Lunas mouth was agape, what she saw was on the brink of making here insane, she just saw her heat-fireproof sister get turn to ashes, everything her and her sister created get turn to ashes and all of this caused by one creature who came out of nowhere.
Old spice guy turned to luna with a blank expression on his face and taking another large breath
“OLD SPICE BODY OUDOUR BLOCKER HAS THE POWER TO CREATE NEW WORLDS” he screamed as the ash turned into green freshly cut grass and forests appeared in the distance with the familiar tweets of birds could be heard in the distance.
“bu- wah” Luna said voice full of confusion.
“YOU, LUNA are going to create this new world” he said voice full of seriousness.
Lunas mouth was agape; she couldn’t even comprehend what was happening.
“But you wont do it alone” he said uncapping his old spice bottle, he then turned his bottle upside down and poured its contents on the ground, then a creature began to take shape, it was humanoid in appearance and wore a Stetson, tight leather chaps, a cow skin jacket, a stylish blue cotton top and cowboy boots…. It was chuck Norris.
“P-P-P-POWER” shouted old spice guy as he teleported in a cloud of red and white smoke.
Luna turned to look at chuck Norris and her heart skipped a beat.
chuck norris was the figure every species sees in a man and therefore the creates man ever, except old spice guy of course
“maybe this wont be as bad as bad as I thought” luna thought before grazing her flank across chuck norris
THE END
I would like to mention yourprivatenightmare for telling me what he wrote with and the Old Spice Guys invade Equestria for insertion for this fic
