What If Our World Was Merely A Story?
"Well, it's an interesting idea, but it can't really be proven one way or another, can it?" asked Trixie, taking a sip of her tea.
"I, I guess not," admitted Twilight. "It's just something Pinkie came up with once..."
"However, it does form an interesting premise from which certain conclusions can be drawn," continued Trixie, quickly. "Specifically, if we assume that we're characters in some sort of story, then we can apply literary analysis techniques to our universe, right?"
"That's reasonable," agreed Starlight.
"Which leads immediately to the conclusion that the entire world revolves around Trixie," stated Trixie, firmly.
"Now, hold on," began Twilight.
"You?" asked Sunset. "Why on earth would the world revolve around some second-rate magician like you?"
Trixie waved a hoof. "Please, do try to rein in your jealousy, Sunset. Trixie knows how inadequate you must feel in the current company, but do try to control your temper."
"Control my -" Sunset sputtered.
"Now, now, let's all just stay calm, shall we?" asked Twilight. "Trixie, do you have any reason other than ego to think that the world revolves around you?"
"Of course," said Trixie. "It's all under the premise that our world is fictional, of course. If our world is fictional, then Trixie is the protagonist, and Trixie can prove it."
"...this I've got to hear," growled Sunset. "What is this 'proof'?"
"Why, it lies in the three of you," said Trixie. "Sunset Shimmer. Twilight Sparkle. Starlight Glimmer. Do you see the similarity in your names?"
The three of them glanced back and forth. Now that it was pointed out, the similarity was obvious... but Trixie elaborated on it anyway.
"A time of day, followed by a thing that light does. Moreover, each of you played an important role in Trixie's life, in order."
"I've never even heard of you before today," said Sunset.
"What do you mean, 'in order'?" asked Twilight.
"Chronological, by first name," explained Trixie. "First you have Sunset, then a period of Twilight, then the Starlight becomes visible. And so was it with Trixie; when the Great and Powerful Trixie was at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, Trixie had a great rivalry with Sunset Shimmer."
"I've still never heard of you," said Sunset.
"At first, Sunset beat Trixie to win every honour in the school - though Trixie must have often been a very close second. But Trixie worked hard, laid plans, and, eventually, managed to get a final exam mark higher than Sunset Shimmer's! Sunset was so shamed by this result that she has never been seen in Canterlot since!"
"I never wrote the final exam," pointed out Sunset.
"Clearly due to your growing realisation that it was futile to go against the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
"No," said Sunset, "I ran away and hid in an alternate universe after an argument with Celestia."
"That might be what you think," replied Trixie, "but the truth is that you had fulfilled your narrative role; you showed Trixie the importance of hard work and why trickery and illusion are superior. And as soon as your narrative role was over, you found something to do that took you well out of Trixie's mane. Which brings us to the next pony on the list - Twilight Sparkle!"
Twilight jumped slightly in her seat. "What?"
"Trixie spent some time, after leaving Celestia's school, as a travelling magician, going from place to place and earning her keep as a stage illusionist, with trickery and entertaining stories. Trixie's life was therefore far more interesting than the lives of any of you, who stayed in pretty much one place all that time."
All three other ponies cleared their throats simultaneously.
"Every new town is a new adventure," said Trixie. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has been a Queen, has been bonded to an evil soul-sucking magical artifact, has faced off against an Ursa Minor and come out unharmed - Trixie's life has surely been far more interesting than any of your lives. And an author would choose a protagonist with an interesting life, so as not to bore her readers."
"Could you get to the point?" asked Sunset.
"Twilight taught Trixie another lesson - another two lessons, in fact. First, Twilight showed how actual magic power could defeat Trixie's trickery, in the Ursa Minor incident; and secondly, Twilight showed Trixie how trickery could defeat magical power, in the magic duel incident. But the two lessons were really one lesson - that a pony should be flexible. That one strategy doesn't always beat another, and a strategy must be chosen to match the situation at hand."
"I... guess that's not entirely unreasonable..." said Twilight.
"Which brings us to Starlight! The first of the three secondary characters not to immediately become a rival for Trixie, Starlight became Trixie's first friend. And, no doubt, Trixie shall learn something from this developing friendship."
"So... what it basically comes down to is that our names are similar?" asked Starlight.
Trixie nodded. "Basically, yes," she said. "Whoever wrote this story is just really bad at thinking up new names for antagonists. Trixie is wondering whether Trixie shall ever meet a pony called 'Midnight Gleam' or similar..."
There was a long silence.
Sunset was the first to break it. "That was the most ridiculous, most asinine theory I have ever had the misfortune to be exposed to," she said firmly.
"You're one to talk," sneered Trixie. "Alternate universe? Do you honestly expect anypony at this table to believe that?"
