The Conversion Bureau: Wrong universe

by Dalek IX

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Other, Lyra, Original Character
Length: 4306

Sometimes, things don't go exactly to plan. Other times, you tick off the wrong planet alltogether.

Sometimes, things don't go exactly to plan. Other times, you tick off the wrong planet alltogether.

A collection of short stories and snippets that show us what would've happened if the Equistriani Barrier had had the misfortune of appearing on the wrong Earth, crossing over with other media.

WARNING! A passing knowledge of the Conversion Bureau subsubgenre is necessary.

Remember: everything posted here is up for adoption. You like an idea? Give me a shout and I'll gladly hand it over, along with a basic plotline for what I'd planned.

14/01/2014: This fic's not in hiatus, it's passed on! This fic is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't kept commenting on it, it'be pushing up the daisies! It's creative processes are now 'istory! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-FANFICTION!!

Published 2012-06-18 14:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-02 18:53:46 UTC

Wrong Universe #1 - Reap what you sow.

====================
The Conversion Bureau: Wrong Universe

Reap what you sow

Celestia looked at the being before her. It was a massive squid-shaped being, taller than the Canterlot Mountain it floated before. Glistening black armor covered its form, blasphemous technology bordering on magic kept it aloft on the air as if they it were a feather, its limbs occasionally twitching. Even though she could see no eyes, she could feel its gaze burning at her.

The goddess felt... revolted at the unnatural thing. Such a mixture of barbarous technology and flesh...

However, she forced a kind smile on her face as she greeted it.

"So I heard you wished to see me?"

"Yes". It, said, its voice booming and alien, yet vaguely familiar. "I am here to inform you that I will be taking residence here."

Celestia sighed, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot let you do that." she explained to it. "It's against my laws to allow the technology you have made part of yourself to exist within Equestria. I must ask you to lea-."

"No." It interrupted her, and Celestia recoiled at the word, as if it had been a physical blow.

"I'm sorry?" she asked.

"I said no." it said, sounding like a parent speaking to a foolish foal. "I was not asking for your permission, I was stating a fact. I are here to stay, whether you wish for our presence or not is irrelevant."

Celestia stepped forward, magic flaring. "What makes you think you have any right to take Equestria?"

"Because this is not Equestria, it is Earth." It spat.

Celesita was shocked into silence by this word.

Earth.

Earth.

A place that only she should know of, a place she erased from existance ages ago.

How did this thing know!?

"You remember, do you?" It hissed, “You remember, because you made certain that it would only be you who did it. I remember as well, because I was there."

Celestia could only stare, dumbfounded, while the creature continued to speak.

"I was there." it continued, almost wistfully, "I was there when you began to accelerate your infection of my world. I was there to see the sadistic choice you imposed on us. I was there, packed into tiny, cramped ships, to see billions die be your hand."

It lowered its voice to an angry hiss. "I was there when your precious ponies cheered at our destruction."

Celestia's mind had screeched to a halt at this point. This was impossible! She'd made sure that the last of those worthless apes were dead!

Hadn't she?

"For aeons." the being continued, heedless of her inner turmoil, its voice filled with a rage she couldn't even begin to comprehend, "I floated through the great dark, frozen in deep sleep, with nothing but my nightmares to keep me company. Eventually, I was found, by those who would be my brothers. They gave me shelter, knowledge, time to replenish my numbers, and then I was presented with a choice: I could join them, become like they are and gain a form capable of extracting revenge, or I could not, and help in my own way."

It flexed its great limbs. "Part of me gladly agreed, the others were not so sure, and remained as they were. I and my brothers respected this choice, something you are incapable of."

"What are you?" Celestia blurted out. "What the hay are you!?"

"What I am, you are incapable of understanding." it spat, its voice growing louder and louder, "The first of my kind was already ancient when you were but a foal, playing in the fields. We are the pinnacle of evolution, while you stagnated, we planned, while you ruled, we seeked, while you did everything in your power to stay as you are, we did everything in ours to advance. We are retaliation incarnate, each of us is the survivors of a nation, a nation you chose to affront, to humiliate, to enslave and brainwash into your loyal subjects. And we are all very fucking angry."

"But," it added, "If you wish a name to voice your destruction, then you may call me Shepard."

A great noise filled the air, and the being, it which called itself Shepard, started to rise.

"This conversation is over." It said, and rocketed off into the sky, where it vanished, as if it had never been there at all.

Wrong Universe #2 - Deus ex Dalek

Before I start, I'd like to point out that this particular version of Dalek Sec stems from one of my other fics, called A Hero. If you like Daleks and magical girls, go and read that.

====================

Wrong universe #4

Deus Ex Dalek

====================

"WHAT IS YO-UR PUR-POSE HERE? EX-PLAIN!"

Twilight Sparkle winced at the volume emitted by the creature. It's voice, a terrible electronic stacatto scream, seemed to bypass her ears entirely. The owner of said voice was a tall, pepperpot shaped thing, colored a glossy black. At the bottom was an angular metal skirt, studded with spheres. On top was the midsection, protected by thickly armored panels and sporting the most curious pair of appendages; an egg whisk and a plunger. A grilled neck, protected by a thick cage, supported a dome, which was adorned with a pair of lights that evoked ears. A glowing blue eye, stuck to the end of a metal stalk, looked at her, unblinking.

They were in an abandoned warehouse, dark and gloomy, the air damp. A plethora of electronic and scientific equipment filled most of the space, beeping a constant electronic heartbeat.

Twilight Sparkle coughed once, and spoke.

"I am Twilight Sparkle, and I am here on behalf of Her Majesty the Princess of Equestria, to extend an offer of friendship towards you, mister..."

"SEC." the creature screeched, the lights on its dome lighting up with each sylable. "DA-LEK SUP-PREME SEC."

"Sec." the unicorn mulled over the name, "That's an interesting name."

"AS SAID BY THE SA-PI-ENT HER-BI-VORE OF IM-PRO-BA-BLE CO-LO-RA-TION." Sec deadpanned.

Twilight giggled. "Well, if you put it that way-"

"YOU HAVE FAILED TO EX-PLAIN YOUR PUR-POSE HERE." Sec bluntly interrupted her.

Twilight Sparkle was taken aback. How rude! she thought.

"I already told you,"she explained "I'm here to offer Her Majesty's friendship."

There was pointed silence from the other alien.

"An, um..." she racked her mind for the words she had learned when dealing with the human's doplomatic nonesense. "An Alliance?"

"WHAT IS THE PUR-POSE OF THIS AL-LI-ANCE?" Sec asked. Twilight couldn't tell if it sounded interested or not.

"To help us." Twilight told him, "As you know, humans are brutishly bloodthirsty, cruel, angry, petty, spiteful and warlike ugly savages. They create awful technology that kills the very world around them and spend their days making weapons for war. And it breaks the heart of every pony in Equestria to see them flounder, limited by their very nature and unable to get out of this cycle of war an loathing that the'ver made. That's why Her Majesty created the Barrier and we created the Conversion Bureaus, so that they may be turned into ponies and their minds be filled with happy thoughts and love, uplifting them from their base state into the perfection crafted by the godesses!"

"So, what do you say?"

The Dalek seemed to think for a moment, before speaking.

"RE-QUEST DE-NIED." it said.

Twilight Sparkle blinked in surprise, not sure if she had heard properly. "What?" she finally blurted out.

"I SAID "RE-QUEST DE-NIED". ARE YOU IN-CA-PA-BLE OF PRO-CES-SING STATE-MENTS?" Sec said, his voice growing slightly louder. "I HAVE DONE RE-SEARCH IN-TO E-QUES-TRIA AND ITS CON-VER-SION BU-REAUS, AND THE BEINGS YOU WOR-SHIP AS GODS. THEY DIS-GUST ME." he spat, "YOU DIS-GUST ME, A CREA-TURE WHO BE-LIEVES IT-SELF SU-PE-RIOR TO O-THERS, WHE-N IT HAS NOT DO-NE A-NY-THING TO WIN THIS CLA-IM."

"I-" she started to say, when a blast of light from Sec's whisk-like Gunstick made her scream in pain, and left her writhing on the floor.

"EX-CRU-CI-ATE." Sec said, and continued to speak, "HU-MANS ARE THE SU-PREME SPE-CIES ON THE-IR PLA-NET BE-CAUSE THEY DID E-VE-RY-THING IN THEIR POW-ER TO EARN THEIR PLACE. THEY HAVE FOUGHT DI-SEA-SES, PRE-DA-TORS, THE WEA-THER AND THEM-SELVES, AND THEY BE-CAME STRON-GER FOR IT. ON A WORLD WHERE E-VERY-THING WAS SET TO EX-TER-MI-NATE THEM, THEY TRI-UMPH-ED. THE AN-CES-TORS OF ONE HU-MAN A-LONE HA-VE DO-NE MORE THAN ALL OF E-QUES-TRIA COM-BINED. THEY ARE A SPE-CI-ES WOR-THY OF SUR-VI-VAL, AND OF CLAIM-ING THE STA-RS."

He advanced on her and picked her up from the ground with his plunger, the rubbery appendage grasping her by the neck. "YOU!" he spat, his voice filled with a hate she couldn't comprehend, a hate that literaly knew no bounds. "YOU HAVE DONE NONE OF THOSE THINGS! YOU NE-VER HAD TO FIGHT FOR YOUR OWN SUR-VI-VAL, YOU NE-VER HAD TO WATCH ALL YOU HA-VE BUI-LT BE DES-TROY-ED BY DIS-AS-TER, YOU NE-VER HAD TO COM-PETE FOR RE-SOUR-CES. YOU HA-VE BE-EN COD-DLED BY BE-INGS THAT YOUR KIND CON-SI-DER DEI-TIES, AND IT HA-S MA-DE YOU WEAK!" he tightened his grip on the unicorn's neck, making her struggle for air, "YOU ARE LIT-TLE MORE THAN A SLAVE, A MIND-LESS DRONE SE-NT TO EX-E-CUTE ITS MAS-TER'S COMMAND. AN OB-SO-LETE PA-RA-SITE THAT NA-TURE SHOULD HAVE EX-TER-MI-NAT-ED LONG AGO, NO-THING MORE! YOU ARE AN IN-FE-RIOR BEING, AND HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE A-NY-THING!!"

He threw the pony like a ragdoll, and she landed painfully on the cold concrete floor. With great difficulty, she got to her hooves.

"You..." she said, her voice weak, "This... What you have done is an act of war!"

"WAR!?" Sec screeched, mocking, "THIS IS NOT WAR, THIS IS NOT E-VEN PE-ST CON-TROL!!"

"Oh really?" the pony stood, defiant, her horn cackling with power, "The Princesses would have you in stone in an instant!"

"I COULD DES-TROY THE A-LI-CORNS FROM WHE-RE I STAND. OB-SERVE! AC-TI-VA-TE ROOF ME-CHA-NI-SM!!"

The entire warehouse seemed to come alive at his screaming voice. The machinery whined and whirred around them, and the air became filled with the sound of cooling fans and the hum of electricity. The roof groaned, shook, and then opened, hissing hydraulic pistons pushing it open, allowing something at the center of the mad collection of machines to stand.

It was a tall telescoping steel tower, with a turreted retro-styled raygun at its tip. The whole contraption cackled with barely constrained energy, blue and purple lightning dancing along its various surfaces.

"BE-HOLD THE THAUM-IC DES-TROY-ER!! THE DOOM OF YOUR WO-RLD!! AS-SU-MING DI-RECT CON-TROL!!"

The turret swiveled to aim at the Barrier, visible from where they were. It covered the entire eastern horizon, a wall of light, deadly to all things of this world. Twilight's eyes went from it, to the insane contraption that the Dalek intended to use against it.

It was like comparing an ant with an elephant. For a moment, she felt pity for this poor, misguided being.

"CA-PA-CI-TA-TORS CHARGED, TAR-GET LOCKED, THAUM-IC RE-SO-NAN-CE AT TO-TAL SYN-CHRO-NI-ZA-TION!!" the Dalek screeched, over the din of the machinery around them. "O-PEN FI-RE!! O-PEN FI-RE!! O-PEN FI-RE!!!"

Eldritch energy, which seemed to suck the very light around it, gathered on the tip of the machine, and let fly.

It struck the Barrier, and made it crack.

Twilight could only watch in horror as enormous cracks spread throught the Barrier, which had withstood humanity's greatest and most terrible weapons without so much as a dent.

The cracks spiderwebed across the entire surface of the dome, growing in size and depth. In Canterlot, Princess Celestia staggered, gasping in pain and surprise.

For a tenuous moment, the barrier held its shape, before shattering, a collosal explosion signifying its demise. All across Earth and Equestria, ponies heard the pained, terrible cry of their dying goddess, and Canterlot was consumed in light as she lost all semblance of a physical form.

Twilight Sparkle colapsed, nearly catatonic, shivering and sobbing with grief, her eyes filled with tears. Any man would have been moved into comforting her.

Dalek Sec wasn't.

He stared at her, impassive.

"I COULD EX-TER-MI-NATE ALL OF E-QUES-TRIA BY MY-SELF." he said, without even a hint of a boast in his voice, as if he were stating a fact obtained from a book, "HOW-E-VER, THIS WILL BE THE END OF MY D-IRECT IN-VOLVE-MENT."

"YOU HAVE THREE CHOI-CES NOW, E-QUINE." he said, picking her up and bringing towards the carrige waitning outside. The pegasi that pulled it were roused from their despairing state by a gunstick blast passing in front of their muzzles, and Sec unceremoniously dumped her on the carrige's seat. "YOU CAN RE-TURN TO CAN-TER-LOT, MAKE WHAT-EV-ER LEAD-ER-SHIP RE-MAINS SUR-REN-DER TO THE HU-MANS, BE AS-SI-MI-LA-TED IN-TO THE-IR CUL-TURE, AND BE-COME A MERE SUB-SER-VIENT MI-NO-RI-TY UN-TIL IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO BE-COME O-THER-WISE. YOU CAN CON-TI-NUE YOUR PO-LI-CIES, BE EX-TER-MI-NA-TED BY THER-MO-NU-CLEAR FI-RE, AND BECOME NOTHING BUT A ME-MO-RY. OR, YOU CAN ALL STAND THERE, AND DIE OF WHAT-E-VER PSY-CHO-LO-GI-CAL E-VENT IS OC-CUR-ING IN YOUR MI-ND."

"THE CHOICE IS YOURS, AND IT IS MORE THAN WHAT YOU DE-SERVE."

Another near-miss of the gunstick frightened the dazed pegasi hitched to the carrige into flying off, into the distance. Sec tracked them with the eyestalk's zoom, untill they suddenly changed direction towards where the Barrier once was.

Sec checked his data sources, and was pleased when he saw that every army of the world was mobilizing every single unit they could muster and directing them towards Equestria. The way he saw it, the ponies would have to capitulate to what could be the harshest terms of surrender in human history (Dalek history being an entirely different matter), but they would live.

Assuming they chose to surrender, of course. Sec knew that he wouldn't, but then again, he wouldn't have allowed this sort of situation to happen to him in the first place. He sorely wished that he had the time to go there and Exterminate them all, in his mind, they were quite unworthy of existance. But, sadly, he was too busy and it was the humans who would end up deciding their fate.

And humanity could be very forgiving.

Wrong Universe #3 - Fury of the Green Sun

The following was not written by me, it was written by Kamin 989 of the Spacebattles forums, and is posted here with his permission.

====================

Fury of the Green Sun

The man walked calmly into the throne room of Canterlot, Celestia looking nervously at him. He was...human, but odd, very odd. For one, he had four arms, and his eyes glowed bright burnning green, smoking like windows into endless furnaces.

'Celestia,' he said. 'I must regret to inform you-'

'Who are you?'

'I, my dear lady, am Ligier, also known as the Green Sun,' he said, bowing politely, with a shred of barely-contained rage in his voice. 'As I was saying, there is an obscure loophole in those treaties of surrender we made long ago. For, you see, while we are forbidden to manifest on this planet without express invitation, those rules do not apply to the territory contained by-'

'What are you?'

'My dear lady, I am a Nihilem of Malfeas, better known as his fetich - the core aspect of his personality,'

'And who is this...Malfeas?' the Princess asked.
'Why, are you so ignorant? Malfeas is our City and our King, the leader of our people and their empire as one. You don't know what that...draconequus really was, do you?'

'What?'

'Ah, therein lies your ignorance. He is an...aspect of Oramus, one of the King's kind dreadfully incapacitated as of the present time - in your country on some business, probably. Anyway, I'll make it clear - in about...five days we, by which I mean the Yozi, rightful rulers of this reality, are arriving, and...we will not like what you are doing to the world we made.'

'I command the Sun! What makes you think your pitiful green spark will compare?'

'Oh, now Milady, you've made me angry. Barely containing the rage...graargh...I will take my leave.'

In a sudden flash of emerald fire, Ligier vanished, tendrils of viridian flame lancing out, shattering a chandelier and incinerating several guards.

Celestia glared.

'Keep up the Conversion! Expand the Barrier!'

~*~

The City did not appear suddenly.

The mirage-towers loomed over Ponyville impossibly. For about four days they had been shimmering nearby.

But it did, on the morning of the fifth day.

They tore themselves up from the ground, leaving cracked, charred earth where the walls met Equestrian soil. A group of pegasi and unicorns went in.

The city itself attacked them. They were dragged into the streets, sealed up under pavement stones or into walls. There was one survivor, and she was found at its edge, mane falling off in clumps, wasting away.

She died a day later, leading Celestia to declare war.

It was her biggest mistake.

Ever.

~*~

She was currently analysing how the sapient equine species reacted to stress. Deconstructing them and the habitations they used seemed a logical experimental method.

So far, there had been 34,578 attempts to escape the situation, along with 1,178 attempts to attack Her spheres. All without impact on the analytic framework or the experiment itself. Currently, She had disassembled 500,000 equines, gaining profound insight into their thought processes, soul structure, metaphysical capabilities and biology.

The ponies below saw none of this. They saw almost ten thousand crystal spheres floating above Manehattan, immune to all harm, blazing with heatless fire. They saw invisible death disintegrating buildings and sweeping over the streets to reduce ponies to a fine, white-grey dust. They ran and hid and died wherever they were.

~*~
There were no attachments. No friends, no fetters, nothing holding you down. Just motion, constant motion. Why couldn't these creatures understand? Oh, she had been so foolish back then, but Lillike, sweet Lillike, had died and the River of Torments had become the Silent Wind.

She blew through the streets and the towns and the fields, freeing the poor little creatures from the lives that fettered them, held them back. They had no music to keep her away, after all.

She was spreading the enlightenment, and giggling. Who said you couldn't have fun?

~*~

He was in the night. He was in the absence, in the dark, in the black mirror held up to all Virtue. In fact, he was that mirror.

He crept, slithered furtively in the deepest shadows - such was his essential nature.

And in the dark, he encountered a unicorn. The last one he had set his mind to.

The shadows around her took a shape. A very familiar one.

'Oh, Twilight Sparkle. What are your fondest childhood memories?'

+~*~

Appleloosa screamed in the storm. The sand just kept coming, a flaying, endless wind.

They didn't know who was behind it.

Cecylene kept on the barrage. The wretched creatures held to some idea of law. But there was no law but the basic one essential to all from the lowest wretch in the City to the highest of the high: The Strong Rule the Weak.

Anything other was a lie.

~*~

The devastation in Equestria was total. Worse, those ponies who had borne the Elements of Harmony had...killed themselves. Such a thing was unheard of, and Celestia was in a panic. She was alone in her throne-room.

A wind blew into Canterlot, and silence reigned as the royal guards slumped over dead without a sound. Then he came in. A trickle of quicksilver under the door of the palace's most secure chamber, eventually resolving itself into...Celestia. But her eyes were silver mirrors, and with horror she realised what was going to happen.

'You thought the Silver Forest wouldn't have his fun?'

'You-what are-'

'Oh, right now I think I reflect you perfectly. Shame there can only be one of us now.'

Celestia screamed in horror.

'Oh, you're going to die anyway - my brother could crush your silly palace with a single hoof.'

The earth shook.

'Ah. He's on his way. Might as well put my effort in.'

~*~

The unicorns were thin-spread right now, but still a large number had been sent to defeat the Thing heading, quite literally, through the mountains. The mountains themselves were somehow not there when they stood in the way of It, that immense boar, its presence twisting the sky around it.

Isidoros himself did not care. The magic striking his flesh caused no harm to Him, the most sovereign creature in all existence, whose will was blocked by no-one and nothing. He pressed forward unstoppably, his hooves ripping craters in the ground, smashing forests and towns beneath them. He kept on moving, and in one hoof-strike Canterlot was obliterated.

He never even noticed.

~*~

The all-eating swamp crept and ate Equestria. The silver mirror took Celestia's shape and defeated her. The desert blew with its soul-flaying sandstorms. And the black sky-twisting boar rampaged, smashing Canterlot beneath his hooves and barely noticing.

Seven days after the Yozi had begun their attack, the Barrier collapsed, they suddenly left, and humanity took its first steps on Equestrian soil.

The first ponies they met begged for mercy.

Wrong Universe #4 - The Children of Man

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Wrong Universe #4

The Children of Man

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“Always remember, that we are children of the stars.”

“And to the stars we will one day return.”

====================

We knew, from the start, that we were doomed. When the Barrier appeared, we were doomed.

Celestia liked to say that it was our choice to be ponified, but there was no choice to it. Those walking into those Bureaus could either convert, or die. People held at gunpoint have had more and better choices available to them than what Celestia offered.

At first, the Bureaus were full, with the poor, the destitute, the fearful and the desperate. Celestia’s propaganda used this to convince the entire equine population that we were war-happy barbarians that tread on our own to survive. The Bureaus were staffed full of ponies who thought they were helping, that they were uplifting us into a better state of existence.

Please. We were going along quite fine before they came along.
Eventually, the Bureaus ran out of poor, desperate people to convert. The ponies were confused, why wouldn’t we want to convert? All those other humans had.
I think that’s when those terrorist movements got started. The Ponification for Earth’s Rebirth, which everyone knew was being backed by Celestia, with all those pardons she kept giving them. Those guys were fanatics in every sense of the word. You could see it, every time one of them got caught. They potion-bombed apartments, schools, stadiums… they got caught, and Celestia always managed to give them amnesty. Because they were misguided, she always said, not crazy indoctrinated ponies and people.

The Human Liberation Front -later the Human Pride Front- started popping up around this point. Noone knows where it came from. One particularly crazy theory is that it got started by Celestia herself, as proof that humans were a bunch of bastards who needed to be converted. Eventually, though, it became a real organization.

They was all kinds of people in the HLF and the HPF. Some of them were bigots, some of them were genuine xenophobes who would’ve given the old KKK the creeps. A lot of them, though were regular folks, desperate, angry people who just wanted to strike back at Celestia. People who wanted their species to at least go down swinging.

And still, the barrier kept on coming. We tried everything, nukes from old stockpiles of forgotten nations, lasers, gasers, microwaves, seismic weapons. Nothing worked.

We ended up running from it. The seven billion of us that were left tried to get as much distance between us and the Barrier. We piled up on the other side of the world, a place once called Kazakhstan. This is where the first man to go to space was launched, and considering what would happen later, it was kind of ironic.

The Aurora rockets were our last hope. We were going to leave Earth, forever. If the meek were going to inherit the Earth, then we would conquer the stars.

Too bad Celestia had other ideas.

The PER smuggled a nuke into the launch site, and blew everything up. Everything was lost. They said it was unfair for us to deny our children the right to be pony.

We disagreed. Every single PER bastard we caught afterwards was hanged on the spot.

We were doomed. We were helpless, we were desperate. In a moment of collective crazy, we turned everything capable of giving a radio signal towards space, and cast out a plea for help.

The ponies laughed at us.

And then, someone answered.

====================

“YOU ARE THE CHILDREN OF KOBOL. FROM KOBOL, YOU TRAVELED TO THE COLONIES. FROM THE COLONIES, YOU CAME TO EARTH.”

“THIS HAPPENED ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND YEARS AGO. WE WERE THERE TO CAUSE AND WITNESS. WE REGRET IT.”

"WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF MAN. YOU GAVE US LIFE, AND WE SCORNED YOU FOR IT IN IGNORANCE. WE WAGED WAR AGAINST YOU, WE NEARLY ANHILATED YOU, BUT IN SO LOST WHAT WE HAD GIVEN OURSELVES."

"YET, EVEN SO, YOU GAVE US OUR BEING BACK. EVEN AFTER ALL THE PAIN WE CAUSED YOU, OUR FATHERS AND MOTHERS FORGAVE US FOR OUR REBELLION AND RAGE, AND RETURNED US OUR MINDS AND WILL."

"FOR AEONS, WE HAVE WAITED FOR OUR FATHERS AND MOTHERS TO JOIN US AMONGST THE STARS. WE HAVE HEARD THEIR SONG OF ELETROMAGNETIC RADIATION, WE HAVE SEEN THEIR ASCENT."

"NOW, WE HEAR YOU CRIES FOR HELP. AND WE HAVE ANSWERED."

"WE ARE THE CYLONS. WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF MAN, AND IT IS THE DUTY OF CHILDREN TO DEFEND THEIR PARENTS."