Chapter 1: The Only Fucking Chapter You Bitch
Rainbow Dash and Twilight were on the big ass map table in Twilight's castle that they never ever seem to use for whatever reason having hardcore lesbian sex. Spike was sitting in one of the chairs, watching them fuck, depressed because he could never, ever get any of that plump pony pussy. Ponies still didn't take too kindly to dragons, and dragons fucking hated ponies in general. Well, that and Spike was only a little kid, and that 2 inch punisher wasn't pleasing even the horniest of mares. So Spike just sat there, and watched as his technical mother and her awesome friend fucked on the bomb-ass map thing they never fucking used. Spike would've walked out at this point and killed himself, but he gave up on that shit after the 7th try. Spike had found ways to kill himself many times, and at this point, Twilight knew almost every spell to revive him.
"Fuckin' Twilight and her magic." mumbled Spike.
Rainbow Dash slid the strap-on dragon dick out of Twilight's asshole and looked into the purple bitch's eyes. They were stunning. Rainbow Dash immediately felt guilty. She had been lying to Twilight.
"Twi, I need to tell you something important."
"What is it, Dashie?" Asked Twilight.
"Wait bitch, promise me you won't freak out when I tell you." said Dash, sternly.
"Um.. okay Dashie. I'll try not to." said Twilight.
Twilight was pretty confused at this point. What was it that Dash wanted to tell her? They had been dating for all of about two hours, and the sex was amazing. What could be so important that Dash stopped them in the middle of sex? Twilight was going through all the possibilities when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up.
"AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!" Twilight screamed as she jumped backwards, landing on Spike, crushing his small body under her ass, killing him instantly.
Twilight attempted to revive him, but then realized that she had broken nearly every bone in the little dragon's body, and she didn't know any spells that could fix that kind of shit. Spike finally felt the sweet release of death for good, although, it wasn't the way he would've liked. He didn't really expect to die by getting crushed by that nice, plump, firm, gorgeous, purple ass of the nerdy bitch who brought him into this cruel, cruel world.
Twilight didn't have time for that bullshit, though. She was still staring at the tall, black, holey figure sitting on the map where Rainbow Dash had just been seconds before.
"Chr-- Chrysalis? What the fuck are you doing here?! Where's Rainbow Dash?! Wha--" Twilight's mouth was filled with a hoof that looked like burnt Swiss cheese.
"Bitch, I told you not to freak out! Look what you did now!" yelled Chrysalis, angrily, pointing at the crumpled up mass of what used to be a depressed dragon forever stuck in the friend zone.
"I can deal with that shit later. Now tell me why you were disguised as Rainbow Dash?! And why did you have sex with me?!" asked Twilight.
"Well, I think you're pretty cute, and I knew you wouldn't have even thought about doing any of what we did if I wasn't impersonating a pony you know." Chrysalis said pretty fucking casually considering she just destroyed a princess's asshole.
Twilight sat in the chair quietly for a second, then she got up and started to walk out.
"Where are you going?" asked Chrysalis nervously.
"Gonna take a cold shower and figure out how to handle this." Twilight opened the door out the room, and standing outside was Celestia.
"Pr-- Princess?! Uhm... this isn't what it looks li--" again, a hoof was stuffed in Twilight's mouth.
"So you think you can have hardcore sex with my bug, huh?!" yelled Celestia.
Muffled questions were all Twilight could respond with. Celestia took her hoof out of the purple bitch's mouth.
"The fuck are you talking about?" sputtered Twilight, trying to get the taste of cum-stained banana out her mouth.
"That bug over there! She's mine." said Celestia.
"Yours?"
"Yes, mine, you worthless peon." snarled Celestia.
"I didn't know, Princess, honest! She was impersonating Rainbow Dash! I ha--" again, Celestia stuffed her hoof deep into Twilight's mouth.
"So you DID want that rainbow maned bitch!" yelled Celestia, pulling her hoof out of Twilight's mouth again.
"Oh... shit."
Twilight knew she had fucked big up this time. Celestia had told her shortly after moving to Ponyville that she wasn't allowed to be in an intimate relationship with Rainbow Dash, actually, she had outright forbid the thought of it. Celestia was very serious about the ponies she shipped, and TwiDash was a term that guaranteed a pony's death. Celestia was quite the specist, actually. Despite being in a relationship with Chrysalis, Celestia despised the thought of two dissimilar ponies being lovers. Nope, Pegasi with Pegasi, Unicorns with Unicorns, Earth Ponies with Earth Ponies. That was the way it was, and that was the way it would always be.
"But Princess, I'm an alicorn now! Who else can I be with?" asked twilight angrily, "This is bullshit!"
"Bullshit? Fuck you mean bullshit?" growled Celestia.
"I'm a fucking Princess now, I deserve some respect!" retorted Twilight.
"Hardly." Celestia snickered.
"Hardly my ass!" Yelled Twilight, "I'm more of a Princess than you'll ever be!"
"What'd you say?" asked Celestia in a low voice.
"You don't even do shit! All you ever do is sit on your fat ass eating cake, and sending me and my friends out to do all the dirty work. Shit, if it weren't for me, you'd be Chrysalis' bitch right now!" Twilight screamed. "Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can and can't do at this point?! I'm a princess now, and I think I deserve some fucking recogniti--" Twilight was interrupted by a hoof crashing into her cheek.
Celestia was seething with anger at this point. Who the fuck was Twilight, this nerdy bitch out in Ponyville, to so much as compare herself to a real Princess like the ruler of the sun, let alone say she was better?
"I FUCKING MADE YOU A PRINCESS, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT! I PUT UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT WHEN YOU WERE A FOAL! IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, YOU'D JUST BE SOME HOOKER OUT IN LAS PEGASUS MAKING A BIT FOR EVERY FIVE COCKS YOU SUCK! BITCH, I'VE BEEN RUNNING THIS PLACE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS! CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THE HELL THAT FEELS LIKE? I'VE DEALT WITH MORE VILLAINS IN MY LIFETIME THAN YOU CAN EVER DREAM OF! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BEING A PRINCESS!"
After the tirade, Celestia looked at Twilight.
"Well, got anything else to say?"
All Twilight could do was cower in fear. Celestia looked down at her. She had to punish Twilight for this, yes, but what could she do? She decided that while she thought about the specific punishment Twilight would receive, she'd beat the purple bitch to a bloody pulp. Celestia started wailing on Twilight, one hit after another, knocking out teeth and breaking a few bones. After Twilight was rendered nearly incapacitated, Celestia used her magic to wake Twilight up enough so that she would feel pain she was about to receive for her punishment.
Celestia levitated Twilight into the air, and spun her around, where Twilight's ass was just above her horn.
"Princess.. What are you doing?" asked a dazed and barely conscious Twilight.
"Showing you what a real princess is." Celestia growled.
"Wait, Princess, hold on a sec, let's try to talk this out!" Twilight almost fully regained her consciousness at that point, as she realized what was about to happen.
"Know your fucking place, bitch."
Celestia shoved her horn so far up Twili--
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" screamed Twilight almost falling out the side of her bed. "FOR FUCK'S SAKE, KNOCK IT OFF! STOP FUCKING WITH MY DREAMS DAMNIT!"
Luna was sitting in the bed next to her, laughing uncontrollably.
Author's Note
Fucking kill me.
