Of Wages and Things

by themouthofmush

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, Mrs. Cake, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon
Length: 5672

It's that time of year again. The leaves were a multitude of colors and the wind started to turn to a crisp. With the Running of the Leaves coming up, the guys decide to do their usual "competition," but with a slight twist.

It's that time of year again. The leaves were a multitude of colors and the wind started to turn to a crisp. With the Running of the Leaves coming up, the guys decide to do their usual "competition," but with a slight twist.

Story takes place during the events of the episode "Fall Weather Friends."
Characters will be added to the tags when they are introduced, as well as the OCs and their respective owners.
Greyscale is owned by myself, while Icy Mist is owned by FlashKenshi77 and Pop Tart is owned by FamousLastWords.
Edited by FlashKenshi77 and PonyJosiah13.

Published 2016-05-02 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-15 01:21:11 UTC

Of Wages and Things

Chapter 1-Of Wages and Things

The air around town was starting to lose its gentle warmth, giving way to wind that was cold yet warm at the same time. The leaves on the trees were shifting from their healthy green to differing shades of orange, brown, and yellow. Some ponies even decided to don a scarf or hat, something they wouldn’t wear if it wasn’t for the new chill in the air.

I breathed in the sweet, crisp autumn air and smiled. “Oh, how I love the fall.”

“Just because you love it doesn’t mean you have to keep talking about it.”

I turned to face the dumb annoying face of my ‘friend’ Pop Tart. “You’d think you would like the fall Pop. Doesn’t it usually mean that Berry Punch starts to bring out, and I quote, ‘some of the better stuff she has buried in that snatch of her’s.’?”

A mare looked at us as we passed her and her little filly. I tried to give her an apologetic smile, but she didn’t seem to want any of it.

I sighed, which brought a snicker to Pop.

“Why again are we friends?” I asked him.

“Because you know you love me,” he replied.

“I don’t think so, but I do know that I want to punch that stupid face of yours at times.”

“Sure sure,” he said as he looked around. “Anyway, where are we going again?”

“We’re going to Sugarcube Corner, remember?”

“Why are we going to do that again?”

I sighed and shook my head. “Swear, you are hopeless at times. We are going there to tell Pinkie that we are joining this year’s Running of the Leaves.”

“Why are we doing that again? The sign-ups for it were done at City Hall.”

I shrugged a little. “She just said to let her know if we did. Guess it’s to make it easier figuring out who to say participated in the event during the after party she’s going to have.”

After I didn’t hear some kind of lame comeback, I turned around and saw that there was no Pop Tart to be found. Usually I’d be okay with him being gone, but I just knew that something was going to go wrong, so I backtracked my steps.
Not even a minute in, I found him trying to chat up that mare we passed. She was falling for his stupid charms and I knew that if I didn’t do anything soon, Pop would be adding another mare onto his list. So it was up to me to do the most sensible thing in the world.

One quick ear yanking and annoying sounding stallion later, we ended up outside of Sugarcube Corner.

I never understood why the Cakes decided to change the exterior of their store into what it was now-the roof looked like somepony would find on a gingerbread house, complete with an amount of frosting a filly or colt would say was ‘just enough,’ what looked like a gumdrop tower sticking out on one side, and a candled cupcake jutting out of the middle. Granted, I got that making it stand out and making it whimsical helped it out with getting customers, but I also like to think that they let Pinkie design it and couldn’t bear to tell her no while she was doing it.

As soon as we entered the building, the smell of baked goods and sweets and the sounds of content ponies hit us.

“Seems like they are having a good day today.”

“Can we just get this over with?” Pop asked, glaring at me while rubbing his ear.

I rolled my eyes and made my way to the pony behind the counter-a small, portly baby blue coated earth pony mare with a two-toned pink mane and tail that looked like it should be on top of a cone.

“Hello there, Mrs. Cake,” I said, giving her a warm smile.

“Hello there, Grey,” she replied, offering me an equally warm smile. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I was wondering if you knew where Pinkie might be. She kind of told us to meet her here.”

“Pinkie’s upstairs,” she said as she restocked the counter window with some fresh muffins, which looked really good right now. “You are more than welcome to go upstairs to talk to her.”

“Thank you.” We went to go upstairs, but I turned to face her just before the first step. “Oh, I nearly forgot. Would you and Mr. Cakes still want me to help you out? Kind of forgot if it would be this weekend or the next one.”

She gave me a warm smile - I knew she wanted to laugh a little. “Yes, we would still like your help this weekend.”

“Okay then. I’ll try to make sure I remember. If I don’t, the two of you are more than welcome to come to my place and remind me that way.”

Now that got a giggle out of her.

We made our way upstairs, but weren’t even more than seven steps in when I was flat on my back and face to face with Pinkie.

“Hello there, Grey.”

“H-h-hey there P-pinkie.”

She looked from me to Pop and back. “Oh, oh. Are you two here to tell me that are you going to be running this year?”

I wasn’t sure if Pinkie noticed how close we were, or the warmth in my face – really hoped no pony recognized that – but some part of me felt like she didn’t. “Y-yeah, we are.”

“That is so awesome!” She hugged me, knocking my wind out in the process.

“Unless you want to give him mouth to mouth Pinkie, I think you should let him go,” Pop said.

“What do you-“she looked at me and realized what she was doing, releasing me from her hug. “I’m so sorry Grey. I didn’t mean to...”

“No, its okay,” I said raspy.

“Now, why don’t you two lovebirds get a room already,” Pop said in that tone of voice he knew irritated me.

Pinkie looked at me quizzically. “Lovebirds? What does he-“As soon as it dawned on her, her face showed a bit of red and she got off of me.

“S-so, about why you wanted us here...” I said, hoping to change the mood in the hallway.

“Oh, right.” She looked at us with her usual ‘serious party planner’ look. “I wanted the two of you to come for the party after the Running of the Leaves.”

“So, you asked us to come here just for party planning?” Pop asked her.

All she did was nod her head and Pop headed back down. “I’m out of here.”

“Pop, don’t be like that.”

He was halfway down the stairs when he turned to face me. “I could have been doing something besides this, Grey.”

“Oh, like what? Sleeping the whole day away like you normally do? Trying to pick up every mare you see? Or was it gonna be something else, something different? What was it going to be Pop? What was it going to be?”

“Stop it, right now,” a voice told us.

We turned to tell it off, to mind its own business, but gulped as we saw it was Icy.

“I-i-icy...”

“H-hey...”

He looked at us and sighed. “I apologize for their behavior, Mrs. Cake. They can’t seem to get along without me keeping them in check.” That got giggles out of Mrs. Cake and Pinkie.

“Oh, Icy, are you here about the Running of the Leaves too?” Pinkie asked him.

“Aye. Party planning?”

“Mhmm.”

“Pinkie, now that you are down here, can you help Mr. Cakes in the kitchen?”

“Okie dokie lokie.”

Seeing as the whole reason we were there was over, the three of us left the shop and did our typical aimless walk around town.

“So,” Pop started, “are we going to do our usual pointless contest this year?”

“See why not,” Icy replied.

“Well, what’s the point of a contest if there isn’t a prize for it?”

“We aren’t going to get at this again, Pop,” I told him. “You’ve been trying to get us to bet money on our placing, and neither me nor Icy are going to do that.”

Pop moved in front of us, stopping us in the process. “Hear me out, guys.”

Icy and me sighed and mumbled our grievances.

“Good to see you two have so much faith in me. Anyway, instead of money, since the two of you are cheap bastards about that“- our death glares seemed to have no effect on him – “we could use something else instead. The losers have to do whatever the winner tells them to do.”

“No,” Icy and I told him simultaneously.

“Come on! What about just one thing?”

“Why are you so adamant on this Pop? What do you want us to do for you if you win?”

“Simple: cover one of my drinking nights for me.”

Icy and I couldn’t even say “no” fast enough.

“Oh, come on! Isn’t there something, anything, you would want us to do?”

“No, why would-“

“Actually, there is something I’d like for the two of you do.”

“Icy, you can’t be serious. Are you actually thinking of agreeing to this? It’s one of his drinking nights! We’d be broke halfway through!”

“Maybe, but there’s an equal chance of me winning.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I can’t believe this.”

“So, what would you want us to do for you Icy? Cover one of your shifts or something?”

“No, nothing like that: I’d just want you two to do one of my training regiments.”

Me and Pop’s legs gave out just from thinking of what we’d have to do if that happened.

“Oh, come on you big babies. It wouldn’t be all that difficult to do. Just some core training, cardio, leg strengthening; you know, things like that.”

“Icy, buddy, last time I tried to do one of your regiments, I couldn’t move for a week, and that was just after an hour. I know you do a full four if you can help it, three if you can’t.”

“I don’t see your point there, Grey.”

“I swear; if that was a pun Icy,” Pop glared at him.

“Fine, fine fine fine fine.”

The two of them looked at me.

“If we are going to do this, then you two would have to try out my salsa until I think it’s spicy enough.”

“Oh, come on Grey. That’s cruel and unusual torture. At least with me, your wallet gets hurt; and with Icy, you’ll just be in pain for a few days. You’re going to kill our mouths if you make us do that.”

“As much as it pains me to say it, I have to agree with Tart.”

“Come on you two. You each chose one thing, let me choose mine. It’ll be the only way I’d even consider joining in on this stupid wager.”

“Wait, so if we agree to possibly doing that, you’d join the wager?”

I sighed. “Yes, Pop. That’s kind of what I said just now.”

Pop beamed at my words (swear, he could be a colt at times). “Good, free drinks here I come.”

Icy rolled his eye. “Keep dreaming Tart. You two are going to train.”

I sighed and looked to the sky. This isn’t going to end well for two of us.

Author's Note

And so it becomes. If you guys like my story, dislike it, want to adopt it, or want to kill, let me know below. It'll help me out in some way and form.

In Which Everything is Actually Done

Chapter 2—In Which Everything is Actually Done

The early afternoon sun and light breeze helped give this year’s race a vibe of fair play and fun times. That was the case for everypony that was going to participate except for three stallions: a pink unicorn wearing sunglasses, a grey earth pony with a soft green headband, and a steel blue pegasus.

“You sure you guys don’t want to back down?” Pop asked us, his usual stupid grin full of moxie. “It’s not too late, you know.”

“Still not going to drop out, you dumb Tart,” Icy replied, doing his stretches for the eighth time in a row.

“Seriously, we are here and stretched out already Pop,” I said, jogging a little bit, hoping my blood was circulating well enough. “You’d think that that would be a sign that we aren’t going to back out.”

Pop just shrugged and set his sight to everypony else. “Oh well. Just trying to spare you two from embarrassment when I win.”

“If I remember correctly, aren’t you always in last place?”

“That’s only because I was never driven enough to care, Grey. Now I am.”

“So, ‘lording’ over the fact you beat us not enough a reward in and of itself? Because I remember that banner still...”

Pop pulled his glasses up and tried to stare me down. “We don’t talk about the banner, Grey. Ever. Got that?”

I rolled my eyes and decided to do some more stretching before everything started.

“Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to this year’s Running of the Leaves,” a voice said from above. “This is Pinkie Pie, your official eye in the sky announcer. As everypony knows, the Running is a very important tradition, for without it, the autumn leaves in Equestria would never fall. So, get ready, ponies. The Running of the Leaves will begin in five minutes.”

“Guess it’s time for us to head to the starting line,” Icy told us.

As we made our way towards the starting line, I saw Bon Bon, Carrot Top, Berry Punch, and Applejack doing some warm ups.

“Pardon me, excuse me. Make way for the Iron Pony,” Rainbow Dash told everypony as she made her way towards the line.

“Iron Pony?” Icy asked.

“Some sort of title. Applejack and Rainbow had a competition yesterday and Rainbow won it, even though she did kind of sort of cheat to win. Don’t even think she thought using her wings would be against the rules.” I told him.

“Sounds about right,” Pop said, though I think he just toned in near the end since the mare he was ogling walked towards her coltfriend. He happened to look ahead at the “right time” and saw Applejack hog tying Rainbow and whistled at the show, getting a roll of eyes out of Icy and myself.

“Racers! Please take your positions!” Pinkie said from the comfort of her air balloon.

As we made our way to our positions, I saw something I wasn’t expecting-Twilight had joined in the race.

“So, your marefriend is joining in on the action too,” Pop said as he jabbed me in the sides.

“For the thousandth time, she’s not my marefriend.”

“Then I guess you won’t mind me embarrassing you in front of her, Grey.” Pop laughed as he got to his spot.

“You sure you’ll be okay with this Grey?” Icy asked me. “You know how you are whenever you are around her.”

I sighed and looked at him. “I know, I know, but I’m here for the race. There is no way that I’m going to lose to Tart. I’d need to take out a loan if he won.”

“So, you aren’t afraid of what will happen if I win?” Icy asked me as we got into place, a slight grin on his face.

“R-right...kind of forgot about that.”

“All right, ponies, are you ready?” Pinkie shouted.

“Get set,” Spike followed up.

A bell went off.

“And they’re off!” Pinkie shouted.

The leaves of the trees along the racing path started to fall as the participants raced with Pinkie and Spike doing some kind of coverage that I decided to tone out.

Right off the back, I saw that Applejack and Rainbow were leading the back with a few others on their tails, with Icy smack dab in the middle. There was a small gap, roughly 10 feet, between me and the leading pack, but that gap was slowly getting longer.

“Looks like the old war horse actually has some fire let in him,” Pop said. “It’s gonna be all the sweeter when I beat him!” Pop started to move past me, actually leaving me in his dust.

I slowed down to catch my breath, and to get the dirt out of my eyes, and bumped into somepony. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there because of the...”

“Oh, it’s okay Grey,” Twilight told me. “I saw what happened.”

“Y-yeah, not o-one of my brighter moments,” I said with a chuckle.

“I never thought of you as one who’d join a race.”

“W-well, I was kind of strong hoofed into it.” I sighed. “Pop could be a jerk at times.”

“Oh?”

“Kind of joined because of a bet Icy, Pop, and me have going.”

Twilight giggled a little. “Then shouldn’t you try to win?”

“In a bit. Just kind of want to get the wind in my sails before I try to catch up. Besides, by now Pop should be slowing down in order to ‘keep looking cool.’”

That got another laugh out of her, which brought a smile to my face. Guess I can make her laugh. “Anyway, I think I should be heading out. I’ll see you at the finish line Twilight.” I trotted ahead of her.

“I’ll be waiting!”

After a bit of trotting at full force, short segments of catching my breath, losing the track because of weariness twice, nearly dodging Applejack’s and Rainbow’s antics twice, and quite possibly just coming up short too often, I saw the finish line, granted it was still roughly twenty minutes away.

I then saw a sight that scared me: Pop was halfway between me and the finish line and Icy was not much further ahead of him. I let loose all the steam I had left in me, in hopes of at least reaching up to Pop. If I was going to lose, I wasn’t going to be in dead last. Pop would never let me live it down.

I somehow managed to catch up the annoying idiot, yet I was completely worn out.

“Well then, look who it is,” he said. “What was that about me always being in last place?”

I wanted to say something, but all of the wind in my lungs was spent.

“Oh, come on. No quick comeback? It isn’t as enjoyable if you don’t do one of those.”

He was so busy trying to mock me that he didn’t notice Bon Bon until he bumped into her, which caused both of them to slide a bit on the track. I would have stopped and offered to help, but there was a race going on and Bon Bon looked like she was going to give Pop one serious talking to and I didn’t want to be anywhere near that.

The finish line was in sight, so I gave it anything that was left in me, closing my eyes in the process (it was a straight path with no obstacles or turns). The roar of the crowd grew more and more with each passing second. Come on. Come on! You got this!

I kept at it until my legs give out from exhaustion and tripped.

“Damn it! I was so close!”

“Grey, a-are you okay?” a voice asked me.

I opened my eyes and saw a pair of blue eyes looking down at me. “Fluttershy?”

“Y-yes?”

“I didn’t know that you were running this year.”

“Oh n-no. I’m waiting for the girls to be done.”

“Oh,” I moved as well as I could to see the participants behind me, “how far back are-“

There, not even six feet away, as a steel blue statue.

“Icy? What, what’s wrong with him?”

“No one knows darling,” a voice, Rarity’s, said. “He just stopped for no reason.”

“He just stopped?”

I tried to get up, but every muscle in my body told me that I should just lay there for the rest of the week, but I kept at it regardless.

“Grey, dear, you need to relax.”

“Not, not until, until Icy is done.”

I somehow managed to get onto my feet and slowly made my way towards my friend.

“Icy, hello, are you there?” I tried to wave a hoof in front of his face, but I think I was just lucky enough to stand right now.

He just kept looking straight ahead, an odd mixture of vacancy and concentration in his good eye. I looked behind him and saw Pop was getting closer and closer to us.

“Icy, come on! If you don’t move, you’re going to lose to Pop! Do you want that to happen!?”

Nothing; no response. He just kept looking ahead. I decided to follow his line of sight, to see if he was frozen because of somepony or something, but all that his gaze lead me to was Fluttershy.

I sighed and tried to shake my head a little. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that before.

“Icy, Fluttershy told me that if you won, she’d give you a kiss.”

I knew it was a complete shot in the dark, but, with his wings fluttering a bit and him breathing a bit more heavily than before, it seemed to have worked.

“Go get her, buddy,” I told him, smacking his rump in the process.

He trotted straight ahead and crossed the finish line, though he did kind of run straight into a tree (might have worked a little too well).

My legs went out on me, but it was okay. Pop wasn’t the one who won. That’s all that matter. I heard the sounds of hooves marching towards me and I just remembered that I was still on the racing trail. I tried to get up again, but nothing was going for me. That was before a sudden sense of weightlessness took over me and I felt as if I was flying through the air.

“You need to be more careful, Grey.”

I looked up, sort of, and saw that I was being held in Twilight’s magical aura.

“But then I wouldn’t be flying in the air,” I told her, hopefully giving her a smile. “It’s a pretty enjoyable experience honestly.”

She sighed and set me down on the sidelines near her. I just noticed the medal around her neck. “You placed Twilight?”

“Oh, yes. Fifth place.”

“Not bad for your first time right. Wish I did as well as that.”

“You did Grey. You got sixth.”

“I got....wait, that means I won. I won!”

My little outburst got the attention of a few of the ponies nearby, but I didn’t care. I won the bet somehow.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Grey,” Pop told me. “You just got lucky.”

“Maybe if someone looked where he was going, you might have beaten your friends,” Bon Bon said to her cousin angrily.

He tried to stare her down but he shrugged it off after about four seconds and went to all of the mares that were completely tired because of the race, causing Bon Bon to facehoof and trot after her cousin.

“Nothing good is going to come of those two,” Icy said, joining Twilight and me.

“You okay buddy? Looked like you hit that tree pretty hard.”

“Grey, let’s never talk about that again.” That got a chuckle out of Twilight and me.

“So, since there is going to be a party later,” Icy started, picking me up – completely ignoring my protests – and dropping me onto his back, “we should probably try to get ready for it.”

“Put me down, Icy!”

“Nope, it’s quicker this way.” He gave the girls a small smile, a slight blush appearing when he saw Fluttershy, and we made our way.

“So, since I have no say so on the matter, where are we going?”

“Simple: the spa.”

From behind, I heard Pinkie say something along the lines of ‘It’s Applejack, it’s Rainbow Dash,’ though it was kind of hard to hear with my head slung along the side of Icy.

Some Hot Aftermath

Chapter 3—Some Hot Aftermath

I did a quick check of ingredients that I had at hoof: four dozen or so jalapeños, five habaneros, three dozen tomatoes, eight white onions, ten bushels of cilantro, two jars full of lime juice, four dozen cloves of garlic, and a bag of salt.

I wasn’t sure if that would be enough, but I wouldn’t know until I hit that point.

I pulled out a few of my metal bowls, teaspoon cups, and knives along with a single strainer.

“Okay, that should be enough for a few batches,” I said to nopony in particular.

Just then the door knocked. I did another quick glance over and made my way to answer it, trying to make sure I didn’t knock over any of the stacks of books, tomes, and paper cluttered along the hallway.

I opened the door and saw Icy and Tart. “Hey guys, come on...Applejack, why are you and Rainbow here?”

“Sorry ta intrude on yah Grey, but this was Rainbow’s idea.”

“Hey! You wanted to try it out after you heard about it too.”

I looked at Icy.

“They heard about our wager and what we had to do since you won.”

I glanced over to Pop, who was whistling and trying to be coy. “Wonder where they heard about it from.” I sighed and shook my head. “Well, since you are all here, come on in and take a seat. I haven’t made the salsa yet.”

I lead them to my kitchen—just a typical one you’d see in any big family house; oak countertops, shelves, a small island, and a table that could fit eight ponies comfortably—where they sat down on the pillows provided. Well, it would have been a typical kitchen if it weren’t for all of the books loosely piled along the walls, countertops and windows.

“Looks like you actually cleaned up a little,” Pop said as he took his seat.

“You call this clean? This place looks like an egghead storm destroyed this place.”

I ignored them as best I could as I got behind my island and got to work on the jalapeños with my cutting board.

“So, just to make sure all of you know what to expect,” I said as I separated the skin from the stems. “I’m going to make a few batches of salsa, you guys tasting each one I make, until I think I have one with the right amount of kick to it.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Rainbow said.

“Then you’ve never tried any of his salsa before,” Pop said, shakiness in his voice.

“Come on, it can’t be all that bad.”

“Rainbow, trust me, it is,” Icy said. “The last time he made some, eight ponies lost their taste buds for a few days and three ponies fainted after their first bite.”

I heard a pretty deep gulp.

“Hey, in my defense, I didn’t have anypony taste testing it for me beforehoof.” I started to flatten the strips of tomato and cutting them up. “Hopefully that won’t be the case this time.”

There was a slight silence, maybe they were entranced with the way I was cooking so far or something.

“So Grey...”

I mixed in the tomatoes with the jalapeños then looked up. “Yeah, Tart?”

“Are we allowed to drink anything to help deal with the spiciness while we try your salsa?”

“Oh, almost forgot.” I brought out three pitchers, water, milk, and cider, and placed in front of them with a glass for each. “You could drink either the water or cider”—that got a small yell of excitement out of Rainbow and Pop—“with each batch. The milk will only be allowed to be drunk whenever you want to drop out.”

“Sounds simple enough,” Icy said. That brought a smile to my face.

I went back to my station and started to dice up half of one of the white onions. Everypony else seemed to talking about one thing or another, but I just kept focusing on making the first batch. I finely chopped up a bushel of cilantro, added in a tablespoon and a half of the lemon juice, chopped up six groves of chopped garlic, and sprinkled in a pinch of salt before I mixed all of it together and added just a bit more of salt.

“So, first batch is up.” I placed it between them as well as some chips. “I did this with three jalapeños. This is just the mild batch, so it shouldn’t be all that spicy.”

Icy and Pop were cautiously looking at it, but Rainbow took a good amount of it as she dipped a chip. “Mmmm, not bad.”

“It isn’t spicy?” Pop asked her, a bit skeptic.

“Nope, not at all,” Rainbow replied as she took another chip. “It’s actually pretty good.”

“Okay then, next batch should be up as soon as that one’s done.”

I left them and went back to the island, repeating the process but with six jalapeños this time.

“This ain’t that bad, sugarcube,” Applejack told me as she dipped into the second batch. “The kick is pretty good, but it could be stronger.”

I went back and did it with nine jalapeños this time.

“Damn, that’s some kick,” Pop said as he drank a bit of cider.

“You know, the cider probably isn’t helping you out,” Icy told him.

They went on a small “debate” as I went back to my island. Now was time to give it some real kick. I used one habanero and two jalapeños.

As soon as they all took a dip, they each chugged their respective drinks.

“Ughhh, what’s with that kick?” Rainbow asked me. “It’s seriously spicier than before.”

“I agree with Rainbow on this one,” Applejack said.

A matching set of “ditto” came from Icy and Pop.

I smiled at them. “One habanero and two jalapeños.”

“Seriously!?” Pop went for a cup of milk, but I stopped him.

“To quote you, Pop, ‘What’s the point of a contest if there’s no prize for it?’ I was going offer who lasted the longest between you and Icy twenty bits, but guess I’ll rephrase it for everypony: whoever lasts the longest gets twenty bits.”

Pop slowly turned to face me, a bit of sweat starting to flow down his face. “Twenty bits? No strings attached? Just like that?” I nodded to each question. “Well then, looks like I’m going to win this.”

Icy sighed and shook his head while Applejack and Rainbow drank a cup of cider.

I laughed a little and went back, using a habanero and five jalapeños.

As soon as they took a bite, I swore I saw steam coming out of their ears. Rainbow and Applejack tried to just get done with as many chips as they could, while Icy and Pop just tried to load their chips with as much as possible. Each of them was some shade of red and sweating a lot.

I went back and used a habanero and eight jalapeños, but when I got back to the table, Pop was knocked out with a spilled cup of milk below him on the floor. Looks like I have to clean that up. I placed down the new batch. Applejack was done after her first bite while Rainbow and Icy just shoveled down as much as they could, mixing it in their mouths with cider and water respectively.

I went back and made a new batch, one habanero and eleven jalapeños. As soon they took their first bite, it kind of looked like they were going to pass out.

“This isn’t spicy at all,” Rainbow told Icy. “I could have this all day.”

“Same here. Not spicy at all.”

They took another bite and I could tell they each regretted it, each of them looking at the pitcher of milk. They each went for a third dip, each of them shaky about it. Their chips almost went into their mouths, but Rainbow dropped her and went straight to chugging the milk pitcher.

“All you have to do now is eat that chip and you win Icy,” I told him.

He gulped and did just that. He made it a point to show me that he swallowed it before he rushed down to my bathroom and threw up, guessing by the sounds coming from it.

I looked around at everypony, Pop was still passed out, Rainbow was trying to become one with the remains of the milk, Applejack seemed to be nestling a possible headache, and Icy was throwing up in my bathroom. Seemed like a pretty good turnaround, if you ask me.

Author's Note

The salsa making process: you prepare the jalapenos-slice off the tip, slice off the sides and keep slicing off sides until only the stem and seeds are left behind, bunch up the slices but into a neat row, slice and dice the bunch, repeat for each jalapeno you want to use (1 if you want a mild taste and 2-3 for a spicier taste)-add in tomatoes, following the process used for the jalapenos, add in the onion-dicing up half of a large onion-chop up some cilantro, however much you believe to be enough, add in about a tablespoon of freshly squeezed or bottled lime juice, add in 2 tablespoons of chopped garlic, roughly 5-7 peeled and finely chopped or garlic powder if you don’t have any cloves on hand, add some salt, a tablespoon before you mix things up and another afterwards if you want, and mix everything together. Boom, you got some tasty looking Pico de Gallo.

If you want to get a spicier kick, either add in more jalapenos or substitute for serrano or habanero peppers.