Sandworms, Assault Rifles, and the Merits of Extraneous Princesess

by GaPJaxie

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Science Fiction, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 5088

Dune/MLP crossover fic. Written as a dream-writing exercise after a particular evocative night's sleep.

I suffer from terrible chronic nightmares, but when I shut my eyes last night, I was gifted with visions of a full and remarkably coherent MLP/Dune crossover story. This is my attempt to replicate that story in it's entirety in a single day of speed writing. Updated as I go!

Published 2016-05-03 17:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-03 17:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1

"Behold!" Twilight shouted, gesturing up at the shimmering gateway behind her. Towering as tall as four ponies or two princesses, it was constructed entirely out of shimmering crystal, carved with mystic runes. Two hexagonal pillars defined its edges, constructed upon large circular base. The portal itself was between them, pulled at the edges like fabric strained until it broke, and there in the center. The tear. The gateway between worlds.

All of Twilight's friends paused. Applejack coughed. Fluttershy offered an awkward smile.

"What? Oh come on." Twilight lowered her hoof, and then stomped it on the floor for good measure. "Look at this thing! It's awesome! You should behold it."

"We ain't saying otherwise!" Applejack was quick to insist, lifting a hoof. "It certainly is an impressive... whatever it is. It's just, we saw you set the whole thing up for the big reveal. So we've kind of already... beheld. It."

"What Applejack is saying, Twilight," Rarity cooed, lowering her head to nod to Twilight, "is we all admire your devotion to the dramatic form. Now, what is it?"

"It's a multi-threaded portal!" Twilight said, back in her enthusiastic form. "Given all the adventure's we had in alternate universes, I wondered: do we need to keep using all these separate gateways with their weird rules? Or, could we build one gateway that connects to all of them freely? And I did!" With a sharp swing of her hoof, she clapped the side of her creation.

"This baby can connect to any arbitrary alternate universe. Canterlot High. The Mirror World. The Shadow Plane. All the alternate realities Starlight Shimmer created. It can even go to worlds we've never seen before!" Twilight's tone was quick, upbeat, and excited, and her body language mirrored the tone, with lots of fast movement. "And right now, it's connected to a nearby alternate universe we've never seen before. There's no telling what's on the other side, so we'll have to be very careful--"

"But we're going exploring." Rainbow Dash spoke quickly, the words coming out in a sudden burst. "Whirlwind adventure. Evil alternate universe. Got it." Before anypony could object, she beat her wings, and in one abrupt motion, vanished into the portal.

"Of course she did..." Twilight sighed, lowering her head. "At least I checked to make sure the air on the other side was breathable before I invited you over Come on girls. Let's go save her."

Twilight and the rest of her friends pushed forward into the gateway at a more steady walk, and after a moment, their hooves crunched on the ground below. At once, they were struck by the heat like a physical wall, all of them coming to a sudden halt as the air around them seemed to boil. It was a desert they were in, with sand under their feet and a cruel sun in the sky. But more than that, it was a desert city. There were buildings of adobe and large canvases to block the sun, ponies in tan wrappings going about their business in crowded and confused streets. Though pegasai flew overhead, there was not a cloud to be seen, just a distant sandy horizon and the constant grit. In the maze of adobe, everything at first looked much the same, and it took a few moments for Twilight and her friends to notice the only obvious landmark. In the distance, sticking out above the crowd of one and two story structures, there was a palace. A beautiful palace, made entirely of gold that shone so bright in the sun it was painful to gaze upon.

"Wow..." Fluttershy let out a breath, tucking her legs in around herself and quickly looking all around. Nopony seemed to have taken much notice of them yet, and behind them was not a swirling portal but an inconspicuous door in a rock face. "This is... really different from anywhere we've been before."

"It smells like cinnamon!" Pinkie Pie offered. "And assault rifles! And fancy knives! And copyright infringement!"

"Right..." Twilight sighed, looking around herself in a more methodical manner. "No sign of Rainbow Dash. Come on girls, let's head into town." She spread her wings, preparing to lift off. "I'll check for her above the roofs first, then we-"

"LOOK!" a little filly cried, pointing their way. "IT'S THE PRINCESS!"

A wave passed through the crowd. At first, it was just a few people: the mild hooffull that pay attention to shouting children. But then they shouted in turn, and the wave grew, and grew, until the whole crowd was staring at Twilight and her upraised wings. Whispers passed among them, excited and uncertain, fearful and curious. They whispered of one who is many types of pony at once, and of how she stood in the market with the common ponies. Then, near the front of the crowd, one young mare threw herself to her knees. A stallion followed. Then the three behind him. Another wave passed through the crowd, and when it was done, the whole of the market had fallen to their knees before Twilight, staring at her with wide eyes.

After a moment, she coughed, and folded her wings. For several seconds, there was silence.

"Hi, everypony." She waved.

Chapter 2

It was a harrowing walk to the palace. All around Twilight, ponies fell to their knees, and a hush came over the crowd. Ponies dared only whisper, about wings and a horn and broad hooves. About prophesy and destiny and something called the Kwisatz Haderach, She Who Is Many Types Of Pony At Once. Mares and stallions shied away from her, like her touch might burn them. Colts and fillies came close, and stared until their parents dragged them away. Walls of bodies parted like water, as ponies got out of her way. One mare reached out, and brushed Twilight's wing, only to shriek: "She touched me!" and collapse back into the crowd in a faint.

Twilight felt the whole situation was unnecessarily stressful for Fluttershy. Fluttershy thought Twilight was projecting. Applejack wished she's brought some paper bags for both of them to breathe into.

Eventually, the dazzling walls of the golden palace came into sight, and the crowd slowly fell back. The entrance was a vast and impressive set of double doors, and though many ponies in armor guarded it, guards and doors alike parted just as easily as the crowd had. Within were floors of immaculate marble and carved stone, fountains of crystal and statues of brass. It was a grand entrance hall in true imperial style, and there in the middle of it all was a blue pegasus. Rainbow Dash, but not as Rainbow Dash normally seemed. She stood tall and proud, clad in a crisp military uniform of black and gold. Her wings were lifted from her side to show them off, and her head was raised just so, the perfect image of a young ruler in their prime.

"Okay... okay..." Twilight shook herself out, and took a deep breath. "Okay, this is going to be hard to explain." Behind her, the doors shut with a loud bang. "Okay, my name is Twilight Sparkle. And you probably already know that! But I'm not the Twilight you know. I'm another Twilight from an alternate-"

"I know, Twilight, it's me," Rainbow Dash said. "I just changed clothes."

"Oh." Twilight and her friends hesitantly looked around at each other. "So, you know we're-"

"Royalty? Yup." Rainbow fluttered over the group. "Barely set hoof in the palace before all these servants were, 'Oh thank goodness you're back! Princess Twilight is here early! Quick get ready,' then they made me put on this uniform." She tugged at the tight, high collar, which was adorned with golden laurels. "It's really tight, and kind of boyish, but I think it made my flanks look nice?"

"Rainbow! Dear!" Rarity's horn glowed, and she reached up with her magic to straighten the collar. "Do not insult that work of art by reducing it to 'it makes my flanks look nice.' That uniform is a work of exquisite pride!" She paused. "Though it is a tad... masculine, I admit. For your tomboy looks I suppose."

"I think we can worry about the clothes some other time," Applejack interjected quickly. "We got bigger fish to fry, if ponies think we're all royalty round these parts. I mean, if the real Princess Applejack shows up and-"

"No no. Sorry." Rainbow shook her head. "Not all of us. Just, Twilight and me."

"Oh." Fluttershy kicked a hoof at the ground, and lowered her voice. "Well that's fine. I didn't want to be a princess anyway."

"Still." Applejack grunted. "The real..." She looked around slowly, checking to make sure all the guards were out of earshot. She wasn't sure if they were or not, but none of them seemed to be paying the little crowd the slightest bit of attention, resolutely staring straight ahead at their posts. After a moment, Applejack lowered her voice. "The real Princess Rainbow Dash will be back eventually. And how do you think she'll react to finding some other pony wearing her clothes and living in her house?"

"Entertaining as it would be to explore this world further, I have to agree." Rarity nodded in Applejack's direction. "A case of mistaken identity might be explained away if this world's Twilight is as understanding as our own, but abusing it for your own benefit makes it less mistaken identity and more outright fraud, which ponies rarely take well."

"Then it's agreed," Twilight nodded sharply. "Come on, Rainbow. We need to go."

"Oh." Rainbow shrugged. "So, you don't want to check out the huge collection of spellbooks this world's Rainbow Dash got her Twilight Sparkle as a gift?" Rainbow reached up and clapped her hooves together, the sharp sound echoing off the hard stone. Behind them, a servant pulled a lever and one of the walls of the palace fell away, revealed to be nothing more then a paper facade. On the other side was a massive collection of what could only be called 'arcane tomes,' many of them glowing, floating, or sealed away in glass in the proper style.

"Well, I, uh..." Twilight hesitated. "That's not, uh..." She paused.

"Behold," Rainbow said, with the faintest smirk and up-turn of her muzzle.

"Rainbow!" Rarity sighed and rolled her eyes. "I really expect better of you. Twilight! Stop drooling. Staying longer will only-"

"And!" Rainbow lifted a hoof. "An entire floor of this palace is one massive spa, which includes a walk in closet larger than your house. Clothing styles from another universe, eh? Things nopony in Equestria has ever seen before? And the same with the kitchens. I bet Pinkie Pie could bring a few really neat tricks home that Ponyville would love."

Rarity bit her lip. Pinkie Pie hovered on tip-hoof.

"Cherry on top," Rainbow Dash finished. "There's a greenhouse full of adorable desert creatures for Fluttershy. And we'll be gone before the end of the day. Deal?"

"Done," Twilight said, bolting towards the books.

"Woo-hoo!" Pinkie Pie leapt away, towards the first poor servant to catch her eye.

"Agreed," Rarity trotted off, up the elegant marble stairs.

"Scorpions are surprisingly cute once you get to know them," Fluttershy said, slowly lifting into the air and following after Rarity.

"Heh..." Applejack watched them all go, a begrudging smile on her face. "Well, I can't say this won't come back to bite us, but... I guess it's all in good fun. And you get to be royalty for a day, right, RD?"

"Totally," Rainbow Dash buffed her uniform, and feigned examining her hoof. "You know, I'm kind of a big deal."

"Right." Applejack chuckled. "So, what'd you get me?"

"Huh?" Rainbow looked up.

"You bribed everypony else to stay for the day. What'd you get me?" Applejack pressed, gesturing around the palace.

"Oh, uh..." Rainbow cleared her throat. "I think there might be some apple farms at the edge of town or something?"

"It's a desert!" Applejack snapped, momentarily at a loss, her mouth hanging open a few degrees. "I don't believe you! Acting all high and superior."

"Come on, AJ. There's gotta be some farms around here or something." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Just go check it out."

"And how in the heck am I supposed to navigate my way around a city we've never been in before?" AJ snorted, and sharply stamped a hoof.

"Right, sure." Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves sharply. "Hey, you! Guard."

At once, one of the guards who had thus far been standing motionless came to life, and bolted to Rainbow's side. He was a pegasus, dressed in a less regal version of the same black uniform Rainbow wore, a knife strapped to his left flank and a heavy wing-gun to his right. "Sir. Is this mare bothering you?"

"Not at all," Rainbow said, with a magnanimous wave in Applejack's direction. AJ glowered and snorted again. "My commoner friend here just needs some help finding the edge of town. In fact," she gestured at the pegasai's wings. "Get a few strong ponies and sky chariot. Give her a chance to really see the countryside."

"Understood, sir. We'll take care of it." The guard sharply saluted.

Rainbow nodded, then turned back to Applejack. "Well, enjoy your tour, AJ. I think I'm gonna go explore the palace more. There's this airship parked out back? The Sky Iceberg. I think it's a reference to something and it looks crazy fast."

"You do that," Applejack growled the words out. Staring at RD until she finally fluttered into the palace and out of sight. "Unbelievable. That mare's ego is bigger than-"

Behind Applejack, somepony cleared their throat. Turning, she saw a half-dozen strong pegasai. One was carrying a set of chains, one was carrying a gag, one was carrying a black bag just large enough for a pony's head, and the rest were carrying cudgels or wearing heavy brass horseshoes.

"Ah..." Applejack managed, speaking slowly. "Find your way to the edge of town. Right. I get it."

"Indeed," the guard agreed. Before Applejack could react, one of the truncheons cracked her over the back of the head. She staggered, and in that uncertain moment, the rest of them were upon her. She tried to yell for help, but in a moment, she was gagged. Then the restraints found her hooves, and the black bag went over her head, and she felt herself being whisked away and tossed into a sky chariot.

Overall, arriving at an apple farm was starting to seem less and less likely.

Chapter 3

"And it flies like four hundred miles per hour, and it can go into space, and it's got something called a Chrysanthemum Laser Array, and I can use it to blow up empty buildings at the edge of town!" Rainbow's description of the merits of her new airship went almost as fast as the ship itself, words emerging one after the other. Servants ducked as she made wide, wild, excited gestures, their dogged attempts to actually brush her coat or polish her hooves nearly entirely futile.

"You can't bring the airship back through the portal, Rainbow. It wouldn't fit." Twilight smiled, turning another page in her book. By the late afternoon, she, Rainbow, and Rarity had all gradually ended up in the spa, all enjoying separate activities within reasonable conversation range of each-other. Twilight was reading and having her wings oiled, sprawled out with wings spread on a decadent cushion as three servants. She was surrounded by four unicorn servants, who were respectively brushing the individual feathers on her left wing, brushing the individual feathers on her right wing, gently polishing each of her hooves with a soft cloth, and offering her individual and exquisitely spiced balls of cheese.

"I wasn't gonna ask that!" Rainbow made another wide swipe with a hoof, and one of her own servants ducked quickly. She was just as tended upon as Twilight, though by considerably more frazzled staff. "Though, hey," she turned to the servant beside her. "That airship comes apart, right? It was all science parts held together with screws and stuff. We could break it down into parts that would all fit through, say, a kind of big door right? Then put it back together?"

"I... don't know, sir," said the poor mare with the hoof polishing cloth. "Do you require your coxswain?"

"Woah!" Rainbow lashed her tail. "I don't uh... That's getting a little personal. I didn't-"

"A coxswain is the master of the personal ship in leu of the captain, dear." Rarity giggled. She was off to the left, surprisingly tended upon by only a single servant, who brought her a steady stream of clothes for her to examine upon a nearby table. "And no, His Highness does not require the services of his coxswain at this time. He does however, require privacy. Further, the exalted Princess wishes to know how her arrival in town has been received by the common people. Please fetch the Majordomo at their first convenience, then wait in the hall outside. No party should enter without first knocking."

The servants all looked at Rainbow for confirmation, who stiffly nodded. "Uh... yeah. What she said." They bowed, and departed, a tug from Twilight making one of them leave the platter of cheese balls behind.

"Don't judge me," Twilight said. "I'm getting over my phobia. And they're good."

"Yeah yeah, sure," Rainbow shook herself out, turning to stare at Rarity. "Thanks for bailing me out there, but uh... 'His Highness'?"

"Haven't you noticed? I admit I wasn't certain, but just now? None of them blinked an eye." Rarity reached up to brush back her mane. "The servants and guards all call you, 'sir,' and the more I look at that uniform you're wearing, the more certain I am it's cut for a stallion. At first I thought it was just local fashion, but examining these outfits? No. Nothing so tasteless. Whomever your royal tailor is, she's an absolutely exquisite creator."

"You know-" Twilight spoke around a cheeseball. "There's a decent chance it's alternate-you, Rarity."

Rarity looked at Twilight. She half-lidded her eyes. With dry intonations, she answered: "Thank you, Twilight. That hadn't occurred to me."

"Okay, sure. I get it. Fashion and titles and stuff, but uh... hold on." Rainbow hiked her body up on the mat, lifted her tail, and craned her head down to examine her undercarriage. "Nope. Nothing new down there."

"Eww! Rainbow!" Twilight scrunched up her muzzle. "I did not need to see you with your tail up!"

"It's an alternate universe, Twilight! I don't know," Rainbow insisted. "Maybe I'm a Prince here. I need to check."

"It's an alternate universe, but you're still the same pony. You're not going to spontaneously grow a... you know." Twilight made some less than helpful hoof gestures.

"Why not?" Rainbow lifted an eyebrow. "You spontaneously grew hands and feet when you went through the Canterlot High portal."

"That's different!" Twilight insisted.

"Why-"

"Because I say it's different!" Twilight scrunched up her muzzle. "And because your version is gross! Seeing a stallion version of you would be... weird."

"I don't think you're in any danger of that, dear." Rarity's tone was dry as she cut in, looking between the two with a tolerant expression. "I'm quite sure the servants would have reacted had Rainbow appeared as a member of the wrong gender. No, this universe's Rainbow Dash is certainly a mare, but it seems she is also certainly a Prince, not a Princess. I haven't the foggiest idea as to why, but I would suspect it is a matter of social convention over, shall we say, underlying reality."

"Oh." Rainbow paused. "Is that all?"

"Don't dismiss it, Rainbow," Rarity waggled a hoof. "It's obvious this world takes their nobility very seriously. The slightest breach of protocol could give you away as a fake -- or be taken as a grievous insult."

"Oh... yeah." Rainbow fluffed her feathers. "Man, that's way less fun. Maybe it's a good thing we're clearing out of here in a few hours."

"It's less fun and games," Twilight agreed. "But I like how seriously this world seems to take rulership. All the 'Your Highness' this and 'Your Worship' that took some getting used to, but, you know. I get the sense it all works out in the end." She paused, and cleared her throat. "Plus, you know. I bet I could get a cab here. I might even get a discount."

Rarity was about to comment on that, when a loud knock sounded at the edge of the spa. "Enter!" she called, and the door opened to reveal an aging grey earth pony, dressed in a simple but dignified grey uniform. He bowed low, first to Rainbow, then to Twilight.

"Sir. Your Highness," he greeted. "How may I be of service? I hope the ministrations of the staff here have not been inadequate in any way?"

Rainbow paused, then looked to Twilight. Twilight looked to Rarity. Rarity cleared her throat. "The exalted Princess wishes to know how the common people have received her arrival. Please, describe the circumstances of her visit as it is understood by the masses. Assume we know nothing about her or the surrounding circumstances, and explain as if we were common folk."

"I... very well." The Majordomo paused, considering his words. "As you already know-" Rarity caught his eye sharply, and he paused again. "As is common knowledge, since House Atredies took control of this world, the people have been prosperous and safe, and the rule of His Grace, Tragic Twist, has been quite popular. However, while the people welcome his rule and consider him both just and fair, there is some question of... legitimacy. As the Duke has no claim to this world beyond having been gifted it by a distant power the common folk have never met. This is particularly complicated by the role of yourself, Prince Rainbow Dash, as you are popular with the people, but..." He cleared his throat, and shifted from hoof to hoof.

"We need not speak of that," Rarity said, to the majordomo's obvious relief. "Continue."

"It is under these circumstances that the Padishah Empress Celestia, has sent her foremost daughter, Princess Twilight Sparkle, to our dry and humble world." Twilight looked stricken, and the majordomo bowed to her again. "We welcome your presence, of course."

"Ha ha. Yes. My presence. Since I'm Celestia's daughter. Apparently." She cleared her throat. "Just to confirm, there's absolutely no chance that I'm adopted?"

The Majordomo paused, and Rarity let out a polite laugh. "The exalted Princess has a wonderful sense of humor. Please, continue."

After a moment, the old pony turned back to Rainbow Dash and continued. "She would secure your rule and legitimacy in the eyes of the people, as her line is well respected, and there's some..." He paused. "Silly local prophesy, about She Who Is Many Types Of Pony At Once. Enough locals believe it that the marriage would be both politically and practically-"

"Marriage?" Twilight blurted out at once. Her eyes went wide. The Majordomo froze. Rainbow grinned ear to ear.

Rarity giggled, demure and just so. "Majordomo, if I may?" She lifted a hoof. "May I assume that his Grace, Tragic Twist, has only daughters?"

"You... may," the old pony nodded slowly, looking uncertainly between the three. Twilight looked like she ate an entire lemon, while Rainbow was clearly struggling not to laugh.

"And could I further assume," Rarity smiled just so, "with accuracy, that his Grace took his favorite daughter and declared her legally male so that she could be married off to the female heir of another house?"

"Of course. The only alternative would be years, possibly decades of needlessly brutal house to house warfare, probably involving Atredies enemies as well as the Imperial army. It would be a needless waste that could ultimately destabilize the region." The majordomo said, puzzled. "Marrying the heirs to the two houses makes way more sense."

"Yes, while it's less dramatic, I think we can all agree that that's a much less stupid way to resolve this dispute," Rarity said, glancing off to the side. "Is there anything else of common knowledge?"

"Just that Her Highness made an appearance in town today, and blessed the common folk." The old pony said, "A mare has been seen about claiming that she touched Twilight's wing and her arthritis healed."

Everypony looked at Twilight, who still had a distant, frazzled expression. After a moment, she blurted out: "Was that mare also gay?"

A long silence hung in the air. Rarity cleared her throat. "You may go now, Majordomo."

And he did. Gladly.

Chapter 5

"Princess!" one of the servants called. "Your starship just touched down on the landing pad outside. Will you be greeting your servants in person?"

"Oh, horseapples." Twilight looked up quickly from her book. "Time to go. Rainbow?"

"Right!" Rainbow Dash quickly pulled off her uniform, tossing it away to the nearest servant. "There you go. Have fun. Give the real Prince my regards."

"Indeed." Rarity sighed, rising from her own couch. "Let's hurry! Fluttershy is just down the main stairs, then on the left to grab Pinkie Pie. We can-"

Before she could finish her thought, the door to the spa burst open, and another Rarity strode in. Snow white, lithe and proud, she was surprisingly physically distinct from their own seamstress. While they were clearly the same pony, this Rarity was notably physically fit, a hair taller, and accessorized with more knives than fabric. She had a fancy leather strap on each of her hind legs, like a form-fitting set of saddle bags. She had a knife on each side, a variety of pouches, and two grand firearms -- a revolver on one side, and an exotic tripple-barreled shotgun on the other.

"Impostors!" she shouted, her horn shining as she whipped the shotgun from it's holster. The weapon fired with a powerful retort, and Twilight staggered back, having taken the hit square in her face.

"Gliiiitttteeer!" she screamed, tumbling to the ground and pawing at her face. "It's full of glitter! It's in my eyes! It's in my eyes!"

"Really, Twilight?" Rainbow snorted, rolling her eyes. "Getting taken down by a blast of glitter? What are you, six? It-" The weapon fired again, and another cloud of flying glitter hit Rainbow right on the muzzle. "AAAAH! Oh god, the edges are sharp! It stings! It stings!"

The weapon turned on Rarity, who let out a contemptuous snort. The weapon barked yet again, but this time, Rarity's horn shone as well. Instead of exploding outwards into her face, the packet of glitter swirled around her in elegant lines and constructions. It adorned her hair, it graced her as a halo, and when she flicked her main just so, she sparkled like the dew on the morning grass. "Ahem," she snorted at her counterpart. "You, ma'am, are no lady."

"Impressive!" the other Rarity said, sounding positively delighted. "You really made that look like I did it. Oh, goodness, I haven't used magic like that in years. That was a pleasure to witness." She sighed, and both of them laughed. "Well, anyway."

Then she drew her revolver and shot Rarity in the leg.

"AAH!" Rarity screamed, tumbling to the ground. "Aaah! Oh, goodness? Am I bleeding? Did you shoot me? With bullets?" She colapsed to the ground, holding her leg tight against her. "What kind of a pony are you!?"

"An effective guard?" The other Rarity rolled her eyes. "You're right, what a terrible accusation."

"Barbarian!" Rarity shouted, cradling her leg as bright red blood stood out against her white coat. "I'm dying!"

"It's a flesh wound," the copy insisted. "I was ordered to take you all alive. I would never do more than the minimum amount of damage required to subdue you." She lifted her shotgun, and with her horn shining blue, loaded in three new glitter shells.

"You've wounded a Princess! And a Princesses best friend!" Rarity insisted. "Get me medical care right now, or I swear when Celestia hears about-"

The other Rarity lowered her shotgun, and fired a full blast of glitter directly into Rarity's face. "WHY!?" Rarity screamed.

"You know why," the copy insisted. She got a good chuckle out of that, then looked to the cowering servants, and the other guards out in the hall. "Oh well. Tie them up."

Chapter 4

Miles from civilization, Applejack felt herself thrown to a hard stone surface. The guards had simply rolled her out of the ornithoper down onto the sands, bag still over her head and legs still chained. She'd struggled to walk for a time, blindly in any direction, but the sands shifted under her hooves, and she could hardly stand. It had been hot, so terribly hot, and her world had started to spin. But then there had been voices. Hooves grabbing her, dragging her off. To this place. Hard, dry, and cool. Somepony ripped the bag off her head.

"Well now," said a familiar voice, with a thick southern drawl. Blinking away the spots in her eyes, Applejack saw herself. Or, mostly herself. Her coat was still there, as was her accent, but her mane was cut tight against her head, and she had a nasty scar down one side of her face. More than that however, was how she was dressed. She was wearing some kind of black suit that molded to her body, adorned with straps and tubing. A set of nose plugs ran down from her face, and a mask hung loosely from a strap around her neck. It covered every part of her but her face, and that would be covered as well, if she was wearing the headgear. Every other pony was dressed just the same, staring in at Applejack.

It was a long time before the other Applejack spoke, considering her doppleganger. "I admit, if this is the Prince's latest trick, he's got me by surprise this time." Some chuckles radiated around the room. The doppleganger reached down, and removed Applejack's gag. "So, what are you? One of them Ghola corpse things? A clone?"

Applejack licked her lips, once. "Please, please tell me y'all are some kind of rebel leader plotting to blow up the palace and overthrow Rainbow Dash?"

Everyone in the cave paused.

"Because," Applejack added into the silence. "I'd be all over that."