A Faint and Curious Voice
My mom always said I had an inordinate amount of curiosity, the kind that often gets you in trouble. She said it ran in the girls of the family. I think it may be the name, because my mom also said she used to be just like me. If that’s the case, then If I ever have a daughter, I’ll call her Twilight, too.
I did get into a lot of trouble, now that I think about it. Back when I was very, very little, more little than I am right now, I used to be the kind of foal who would try to climb out of the window because she saw a pegasus pass by, and wanted to see it again. The kind who would escape her foalsitter and try to climb a tree because a squirrel did it too, and wanted to know where it had gone.
I guess that must be why my parents planted a deep-seated love for books in me as soon as I learned to read. They probably saw it as a chance to channel my hunger for knowledge into something safer.
And I loved every word I read. I’d read every kind of book that I could get my hooves on: novels, history books, textbooks. I even read my dad’s science books. Of course, I didn’t understand any of what they said, but I still burned through them.
It wasn’t long until my love of reading led me to try magic. Or maybe it was the other way around, considering the first spell I learned was a light spell that would allow me to read throughout the night.
I loved learning about magic, just like I loved learning about everything. The difference was that I couldn’t talk with the great ponies about whom I had read since they were long gone. I couldn’t visit the places I went to when I read because I was too young to travel. I couldn’t be present in the events that my history books showed me seeing how they were, well, history.
That’s not how it was with magic. Magic made me feel alive, it made me feel like I could be great, too.
My parents saw how my love for magic grew with every passing day, and they thought I could get into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. My light spell came in very useful as I spent several nights studying, making sure I was ready for the entrance exam. I was so afraid I’d ruin it, but even though a few… uh… mistakes were made, I managed to get in. What’s more, Princess Celestia took me in as her personal protégé.
I still remember the day I went to the castle for the first time, a week after my exam. It was, as far as I could tell with my limited experience, the most magnificent place I had ever been to. The high ceilings made the place feel so massive, so vast that I felt all the much smaller as I walked under them. The carvings on the marble walls, the dozens of stained glasses, and the countless paintings were surely brimming with a rich history that I couldn’t wait to dig into.
And yet, it all paled in comparison to the immense library that the Princess described as “adequately endowed”, which was more than an understatement in my opinion.
When I first entered it, I was greeted by rows and rows of shelves, all crammed with so many books. I read more books in a month than the average Canterlot household did in a year, and even I didn’t think I could finish all these books. That prospect alone made me shed any lingering doubt or errant fear that may have been left in my mind. Princess Celestia even said that I was free to research whichever topic caught my attention, whenever I liked it as long as it didn’t interfere with my studies or my sleeping schedule.
My mom probably warned her about that last one.
What I now learned was so different to what I used to learn. Before I came here, I excelled at everything, but that was a side effect of having learned so much on my own. I had little interest in what school taught me, because I found it much more rewarding to learn on my own. I could pursue my own interests at my own rhythm. I was enraptured by all that I learned, and it fed my hunger to know more.
It wasn’t long until I found myself settling on a comfortable routine. After my classes were over, I’d make my way to the Castle’s Library to work on my assignments—with an occasional detour through the kitchen—, and read as much as I could before the need to sleep dragged me over back to my room at the castle.
Princess Celestia said I should vary my routine a little bit. Studying is important, she said, but I shouldn’t lose sight of other parts of my life. She says that books aren’t the only source of knowledge; that life gives us endless opportunities to learn, and we shouldn’t act as if they were any less important.
Maybe I should. How did that saying go? Stagnation is the enemy of progress? Or was it false progress? Either way, I shouldn’t let myself fall victim to it. Not after making it this far.
I decided to listen to her. After all, here I was, living in one of the oldest buildings in all of Equestria, home of the Princess herself. It seemed like a waste not to explore more of it and get to know all that it had to offer.
I took a more scenic route when I came back from class one day, choosing to pass through the Royal Gardens. It was really nice, for a while I was mesmerised by the sounds of chirping birds and the scent of dozens of different flowers. I think I’d like to do my homework here from time to time.
There were many sections to the Gardens, all connected through paths of cobblestone surrounded by greenery. The Princess said I could visit any of them save for two. One of them was the hedge maze, which I skipped for obvious reasons. Spending a whole day getting lost wasn’t high on my list of enjoyable ways of passing the time.
The other section, and in this Princess Celestia was quite firm, was the Garden of Stone Statues. This was a special case; the Princess said I could only go in there if I was accompanied by her or any of the other teachers, but never on my own. I wish I could go and see all those monuments to the ponies who helped shape Equestria to what it is today. I wonder why I couldn’t go on my own, it’s not as if I would be climbing on the statues.
Probably.
Still, I didn’t think much of it. I had a whole castle to explore, and a seemingly endless Library. I was sure I could find a book about the statues of the Garden if I took my time.
The next day I went through one of the castle corridors. I wonder if Princess Celestia feels small in these rooms. She’s bigger and taller than any other pony in Equestria but even then, these rooms were as big as some houses I’ve seen. This corridor alone is one of the longest I’ve seen in the castle, probably to better show all the nice windows.
I’ve seen the stained windows from afar a few times, when my parents took me to the city with them, but I could only see them as shapeless forms. Now that I appreciated them from up close, I could finally make out what they actually were. Each and every one of them showed a different scene, with lots of details, about an event of Equestrian history.
I was never one to appreciate art, so I focused on the historic aspect, instead. I slowly walked past them, taking in as much information as I could, and memorising the ones I couldn’t recognise so Celestia could clear them up for me.
It was then that I noticed something odd. I stopped in front of one of the last windows of the corridor and took another look. With the array of colours and shapes, it was hard to tell at a first glance, it almost seemed to be part of the design, but a careful examination showed otherwise.
The scene depicted in the window showed Princess Celestia with her wings spread open, facing me. There were a lot of colors and shapes in the background but that seemed to be it. I kind of had to wonder what was the purpose of this window. All the other seemed to have at least a commemorative purpose, but this one simply had the Princess in it.
I squinted as I noticed the Princess’s expression. It’s not as if the other windows were bursting with detail, but whomever made this one had clearly made the effort to show that Princess Celestia was sad.
It was only then, as I stepped closer, that I noticed that a section of the window had a crack in it.
It was an isolated section, almost near the bottom. Why was it left like that? The rest of the windows were well kept, not to mention the entire hallway was spotless. Could whomever cleaned it up have missed it? That didn’t seem likely, it was a small section but it wasn’t so small as to go unnoticed. I almost missed it because I was just passing through, but the ponies who cleaned it up must have noticed it.
Something about it made me feel weird. Like when you’re trying to grab a cookie from the kitchen when your parents aren’t looking, because they told you you couldn’t have any. That’s how I felt, as if somepony in the back of my mind was telling me I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
I did my best to shake off that feeling, and walked closer towards the stained window, hoping to get a better look of the large crack in the glass. I couldn’t see an impact point, so it must have happened other way, but how did that happen? Maybe I should read up on stained glasses some other time.
Still, that didn’t explain how nopony noticed it. Then again, somepony probably did notice, and they just hadn’t gotten around fixing it. That seemed like a more reasonable explanation.
I looked around the room, seeing if anypony was with me. Once I was sure I was alone, I took another step forward and touched the crack in the window.
Whether it was due to my proximity with the glass, or an errant beam of light passing through the clouds, I lost focus of the crack on the glass and caught a glimpse of the scenery beyond the corridor.
It was the Garden of Stone Statues.
I didn’t have time to process that, for I quickly became aware of another sensation, the glass didn’t feel that cold, even though it wasn’t receiving direct sunlight. In fact, it almost felt kind of—
Careful.
I jumped back, and turned around, trying to find the source of the voice. It had spoken too fast for me to actually register what it said. I couldn’t even tell if it was a stallion or a mare.
Maybe I misheard, that’s probably what happened, it most likely was nothing.
Although… No, that couldn’t be, I knew I heard a voice. Almost like a whisper, but it was definitely a voice, but to whom could it belong? There was nopony else in the corridor with me, and there were no adjacent rooms.
I perked my ears, hoping to catch the voice again, but my efforts were fruitless. I looked around once more, trying to convince myself there was nopony else in there with me, and just as I had thought, there wasn’t. What’s more, the corridor was absolutely silent, and I only realised that after hearing the voice. The Palace wasn’t really a loud place, but it never was this quiet.
I would have stood there for longer, but the distant sound of a ringing bell broke my stupor. It was already lunch time, and I had to start working on my assignment about Saddle Arabian history. Pushing aside any wayward thoughts about the crack in the glass, the Stone Statue Garden, and what may or may not have been a voice, I left the corridor and went back to my routine.
I took a different route the next day.
I don’t know why I didn’t mention it to the Princess. It felt really weird, but thinking back on it, it was probably nothing more than the anxiety of starting school just a little over a month ago. There were plenty of things for me to think about other than that eerie thing that could have easily been a product of my imagination.
I had exams coming up, so that gave me something on which I could focus, something clear, something objective. My light spell got a lot of use those nights as well.
When the results came in, I wasn’t surprised to find out I had aced all of my courses. It’s not a lack of modesty, I just take pride in my studies. As did Princess Celestia, who congratulated me on my effort, and suggested I should take the free week I had after the exams to relax and maybe socialise a little bit.
I didn’t know about that last one, but I sure was eager to catch up on my reading. There was a chronicle about early Pegasus tribes I’d been itching to get my hooves on, not to mention the latest Daring Do book had come out not too long ago. It seemed I was going to have more than enough to fill up my time until classes went back to normal.
That first afternoon after my exams, I went straight to the Library with a blanket hidden in my saddlebags, as well as Miss Smarty Pants. I was planning on spending the rest of the day there and, if the librarian didn’t catch me, maybe read throughout the night.
There was a comfy and cozy little corner in the library, past the botany and landscape section, where I liked to huddle with a good book and a plate of cookies smuggled under the gaze of the librarian. I found myself there with a stack of books and started to read the hours away. I don’t know how long it was until a grumbling in my stomach made me stop, but I know that by the time I ate it was already dark outside. I must have been reading for at least six or seven hours.
An evening well spent, in my opinion.
Soon enough, another book was over. As I rearranged the the books, I pondered what to do next; it was still early, relatively speaking, so I thought I could go for another round. A filly back at school mentioned something about the composition of salt licks. It’s a topic we hadn’t touched in class, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t read upon it if I could. Surely Princess Celestia would appreciate—
Curious...
I dropped the book I was holding. There it was again, the voice from the corridor. That was definitely the voice I heard that time when I walked down the corridor of the stained windows. And I had no doubt I was alone this time; the librarian wasn’t doing her rounds around here, I made sure of that when choosing this reading spot.
“Hello?” I asked at the empty library, “Is anypony there?”
My voice was shakier than I expected. I guess I wasn’t as composed as I thought I was. As expected, there was no reply. Could I have imagined it? I guess I did skip sleep for a couple of nights while I was studying for my exams. Maybe having another all-nighter so soon wasn’t the best thing to do.
The thought of trying to find out more about the lone stained window in that corridor did cross my mind, but as I stood there, scanning the silence of the library in search of the origin of the voice with no other companion than smarty Pants and the dim light of my lamp, that seemed of little importance.
I don’t know why, but at that moment I became terribly aware of the darkness of the library. Every crevice in the shelves, every shadow cast by my lamp, and every corner shrouded in darkness brought back memories from horror stories surreptitiously read away from my parents that I now regretted reading.
Chills ran down my spine as the silence overwhelmed me. I normally welcomed how quiet the library was, but after what I just thought I heard… No. After what I heard, this silence was far from being welcoming.
Yes, I probably wouldn’t be staying here tonight.
I packed my blanket and the leftovers of my clandestine snack into my saddlebag, trying and failing not to stumble on my hooves. I normally rearrange all the books I use, but that day I left them for the librarian to find. I just wanted to get back to my room.
It’s not as if I was scared, because I wasn’t. I just thought I should catch up on my sleep. Wasn’t Princess Celestia and my mom telling me that all the time? Maybe I should listen to them for a change. The shivers were just product of the cold, is all. I couldn’t possibly expect a small cushion to serve as proper insulation from the cold floor of the library. The sweat was just because of the blanket, it was too thick, it probably made the stuffy room feel hotter.
What? No, shut up, Miss Smarty Pants. It’s perfectly possible to feel both cold and hot at the same time.
With a shake of my head, I ran—trotted, trotted back to my room. The journey back to the castle tower where I lived flew by in a haze. I didn’t pay much attention to the route I took, save to make sure I avoided the corridor of the stained windows. I just wanted to get back soon. I wished I knew that teleportation spell I read about the other day.
I kicked open the door to my bedroom and without thinking it twice, threw my saddlebags on my nightstand and dove under the blankets of my bed, facing the wall. I didn’t even bother to unpack my things, that could wait until the morning, right now I just wanted to get some much needed sleep. The soft caress of the cool fabric against my fur relaxed me, if only a little bit.
Under normal circumstances, I’d let my mind shut itself off due to exhaustion; but while my body was a bit tired from galloping all the way—trotting, trotting all the way from the library, my mind was alight with dozens of thoughts. Or just the one, if I was being honest.
That voice… The first time I heard it, I thought it was a product of my imagination. Even after quite some time had passed, I still wasn’t sure what was it that I heard. But just a moment ago I heard it again, and I heard it clearly. I still couldn’t tell if it was a mare or a stallion, but it sounded kind of deep, in a way that made my back shiver.
Should I have told Princess Celestia about this? I know she took me as her personal protégé, and that I should trust her with anything but… I’ve only really known her for two months. How would she take it if I told her I was hearing voices?
No, I can’t possibly tell her that. Best case scenario she disavows me and I get sent to a psychiatrist. Worst case scenario… I don’t even want to know what that would be.
I curled up under my blankets, in an effort to make myself smaller. It was a cold night, colder than I remember it being just a while ago, but I did my best not to think too much about that. I tried not to think about anything, really. I just wanted to go to sleep so I could talk to the Princess the next morning. Not about this, of course. About something else completely unrelated. Maybe then I’d bring up the issue about what I heard. The Princess wouldn’t get mad over that, would she?
Who knows.
Sometimes, the simplest of things can be the most distressing. Be it a cold wind whistling through a tree, steps coming from somewhere you didn’t know, or, in this case, a word spoken in the dark.
I fought the urge to open my eyes. I even bit my lips in order to stifle a yelp. Thinking back, I came trotting—running desperately from the library, didn’t acknowledge the librarian, maids, guards, or anypony else I crossed. I kept running until I got here, opened the door, threw away my stuff and got into my bed. Did I miss something?
My eyelids fluttered, but I kept them shut. I felt my guts wrench as I thought of something. Did I lock the door? I didn’t think I got to close it before jumping into my bed. How could I have not locked the door? Somepony could have gotten inside!
No… No, hold on. There were... there were guards outside, I saw them. If anypony followed me, they would have spotted them and they would have taken care of them. There’s no way something could have followed me here.
But there’s no way of denying I heard the voice again just then, either. I laid under my blankets as I realised I could no longer lie to myself. The rationalisations I had built had crumbled, and I had to face reality.
There was somepony else in my room.
I gulped as silently as I possibly could, hoping the voice would think I was asleep. I took a slow breath, and then let it out in a way that I hoped resembled a sleeping pony. If I could get to fall asleep, maybe the voice would go away. I just had to fall asleep. I just needed to stop thinking, stop moving, and fall asleep.
I tried, I really did. But at that moment, my mind interpreted every noise, no matter how small, into a sign of the presence I knew was with me in that room. I wished I had Miss Smarty Pants with me, she would make me feel safer.
The blankets reached up to my neck. I wondered if I could lift them until they covered my whole body without the voice realising what I was doing. As slowly as I possibly could, I pinched the blanket with my hoof, and pulled upwards, hoping my motions would go unnoticed. I stopped every few seconds to listen intently for any sign of my undesired companion. When I heard nothing, I started moving again.
I timed every move with my breathing. Inhaling, listening, dragging, stopping, exhaling. Inhaling, listening, dragging, stopping, exhaling. It felt as if I was making progress, even though deep down I knew I had barely moved the blanket from where it had been a few moments ago due to the heavy friction between the the fabric and my fur. But none of that mattered, it was all I could bring myself to do at the moment. Inhaling, listening, dragging, stopping, exhaling. Inhaling, listening, dragging, stopping, exhaling.
It was then that I felt something else. No, it wasn’t the voice, it was a cold draft coming from somewhere behind me.
My window, I thought, I must have left it open when I went out that morning. Could the voice have made it in though there? I didn’t know, it was possible but I had no way to be sure. Of course, I was assuming the voice had a physical presence, which again, I had no way of knowing for sure. If it really was just a voice, then it didn’t need an actual way to get into my room, it would simply be there.
I immediately regretted thinking that, now there was no way I could go to sleep. My mind was racing, trying frantically to remember something, anything from all the things I had learned that could help me, but it came up with nothing. Now I really, really wished I knew that teleportation spell.
Seeing as how I had no other alternative, I resumed my attempt to pull the blankets over my head. If the voice really was just a voice, then it had no way of knowing if I was moving or not, right?
As I pulled once again, I felt the blanket resist me. It seemed the force with which I dragged it was not enough to counter the friction of the fabric. I kept pulling, hoping I wouldn’t have to make any sudden movement that would catch the attention of the voice.
That is, of course, if the voice was still here.
The first time I heard it, when I touched the cracked glass in that corridor, I just heard it once and that was it. Back at the library, I had only heard it once, too. I heard it in my room too, there was no denying it, but… No, I had to be sure. I had to know for sure.
I tried pulling the blanket again, just a little bit harder this time. It didn’t move, I thought it may have gotten stuck. I tried again, and again, each time with a bit more desperation in my moves. What happened? Did I tuck the edges of the blanket under the mattress? Why did I do that? Come on, I just needed to pull a bit more.
Here you go.
The blankets suddenly felt loose, and I managed to pull them over my head. In that moment my blood ran cold through my body, my jaw trembled and my mouth opened, but I managed to drown a scream. What came out sounded more like a sad whimper.
The voice was still here, and it knew I was awake.
Even though I knew I wasn’t alone, now I could feel I wasn’t. The darkness of my bedroom no longer felt empty, it felt crowded, stuffy and suffocating. Almost as if those words whispered into my mind materialised into the room, filling every crevice and corner, every nook and cranny. Although, if anything, it helped strengthen my resolve not to open my eyes.
I silently called out for Princess Celestia to come and make the voice go away. I just wanted this to stop, to be alone and go to sleep. I wanted to yell, to scream at the voice to leave me alone. I wanted to lash out and scare it away.
I wanted to cry.
And then, just when I thought I couldn’t feel worse, I got to know what true fear was. As I was lying there on my bed, I could feel something pressing against the mattress near the edge of my bed. I could feel the weight of an unseen being settling at the foot of my bed.
I couldn’t rationalise it, I couldn’t say it was something that fell on top of the bed. I knew it was the voice, and it probably knew I knew as well. The voice didn’t do anything else. It remained immobile at the foot of my bed, and so did I, we were stuck in a stalemate, daring the other to make the first move.
I could feel tears starting to form at the edge of my eyes, but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want to let the voice know I was scared.
Oh, dear Celestia. It moved.
I could feel the pressure on the bed shift, leaning forward, towards me. I let out a soft whimper with every move it made. It was getting closer and there was nothing I could do to avoid it, my magic still wasn’t good enough, I couldn’t even learn a dumb teleportation spell.
The voice moved again, it was already halfway through the bed, and would reach me in an instant. I tried to hold still, but couldn’t suppress the shivers that ran through my body. Deep breaths, Twilight, deep breaths. If I could keep it together until morning, then surely the voice would leave.
Whatever little comfort those thoughts brought me was quickly stripped away as I felt the mattress give in right next to me. I felt the tears trailing down my face, matting my fur.
It was behind me.
I didn’t react, I didn’t even know how I could have reacted. I was frozen in place. The pressure of the voice against the mattress caused it to give in, forming a small depression that may as well have been a valley, beckoning me to give in and fall into it.
Another blubbering weep escaped my throat. What did the voice want? What was it trying to accomplish beyond scaring me out of my mind?
I didn’t know, I just knew that it was in my room, on my bed, behind me, and waiting. I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, I just couldn’t.
Why not?
My mom always said I had an inordinate amount of curiosity, the kind that often gets you in trouble. And as I found myself slowly opening my eyes, I couldn’t help but agree with her.
Ever since the incident at corridor, the matter of the ethereal voice had been itching, clawing its way through my mind. I should have asked Princess Celestia when I had the chance, I should have. But there’s no point in regrets now. I just couldn’t help it, I couldn’t stand not to know.
I pulled down the blanket as my eyes fluttered open, and they were greeted with the sight of the wall next to my bed, barely illuminated by the light of the moon coming through my window. After blinking away the tears, I could make out the faint outline of my body covered in blankets, I could see the shape of the pillow, I could even distinguish my closet next to my bed out of the corner of my eye.
I took another deep breath. It seemed I was alone, except I knew that couldn’t be the case. I could clearly feel the presence of the voice behind me, lying in my bed with just the fabric of the blankets keeping us apart.
I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say. For better or for worse, I didn’t have to wonder for long. I finally cried out once I felt it touching me.
There was nothing there. I knew there was nothing there and I could see that there was nothing there, but I could still feel it. I felt the pressure against the back of my neck, I felt it tousling my mane with whatever it was that the voice had instead of hooves. Oh, Celestia, it felt so cold.
My jaw trembled when it felt the voice’s caress, and another pathetic whimper escaped me. The tears kept flowing freely from my eyes. I wanted this thing to leave, I wanted Princess Celestia to take it away. I wanted my mommy. I didn’t cry this time, tears didn’t flow from my eyes either because my body had realised it was futile, or because it was slowly shutting down.
The voice was holding me by the neck, and when I felt the bed move against my fur, I realised it had started pulling me towards it. I didn’t fight back, I wasn’t even sure if I could have. My body was limp, it had already given up.
But my mind hadn’t.
“What… what do you want?” I managed to blurt out in a whiny whisper.
The voice stopped dragging me, but it didn’t ease its grip on my throat. I don’t think it expected me to say anything.
Do you really want to know?
I didn’t hear that so much as I felt it inside of me, every word felt as if it turned my blood into ice, its tone was so… deep, so guttural it made my bones shake. That was also the longest phrase the voice had uttered, and it seemed to be the first time it waited for a reply.
“Y-yes…” I said.
As soon as that word left my lips, I could feel the voice’s presence lean into me, pressing itself against my back. I felt revolted at the sensation. Even though I was covered with my blanket, I could clearly feel the voice’s… body make contact with me.
I could feel fur, I could feel feathers, I felt skin and I felt scales. I felt them rub against my coat as the sensation enveloped me. I felt it constrict my limbs and poke against my ribs. I felt claws intertwining my hair. I felt paws rubbing against the side of my body. I felt all of those and none at all at the same time, and loathed every second of it.
Oh, please Celestia, let this end.
I want...
What!? What did it want? What could the voice possibly want beyond taking such pleasure from torturing somepony so much? What did it want more than to violate the safety of a filly’s own bedroom? What did it want beyond driving my sanity to its breaking point?
...you.
The voice laughed. It wasn’t a manic cackle, nor was it a roaring howl. It was but a mirthful snicker, like a foal who laughs at her misdeed. I started shaking, if it was due to fear, anger, or both, I did not know. All I knew was that I hated it. I hated the voice, I hated what it was doing, and I hated my powerlessness against it. In the end, nothing mattered. My curiosity had set me down the road that led me to my end, just like my mom used to joke.
For some reason, I didn’t feel like laughing.
The all-encompassing presence of the voice spread to my face, making my skin crawl as it advanced. The air escaped my lungs as my eyes were forcefully closed. I could only let out one last pitiable whimper as my sign of defeat before everything went dark.
I heard the voice again, but it wasn’t speaking this time. It was more as if it was thinking inside of my mind. It told me that everything was alright now, that there was no need to fight back, that I should let go, and everything would be alright.
After the night I had, I had to admit the prospect of letting go was very appealing. I had been fighting this for what felt like days now… I really wanted to rest.
Maybe I should.
Yeah…
I really…
I really…
I really need some rest.
I’ll listen to the voice, let it take care of things while I rest for a while. After that I can… I can… Well, I don’t know what will happen after that, but right now I just want to sleep for a while.
Good night, voice.
Good night…
I awoke to a blinding light and an ear-splitting shriek.
I couldn’t say for certain what is it that I felt first, or maybe it’s what I didn’t feel. It’s hard to describe, that feeling of nothingness, of not being aware of your own body. The feeling of being vaguely conscious about your surroundings and yet not being able to interpret them.
I didn’t know where I was, the light was too bright for me to tell. I curled up in pain at the continuing screams, or at least I thought I did. I couldn’t feel my body, I was just vaguely aware of a sensation of pain.
I tried to focus, but I couldn’t; the screaming and the light were too much for me, too much chaos. They besieged my brain and I couldn’t think about anything other than them. In spite of myself, I tried to hear the voice, if only to make sure I had something my mind could hold onto.
Soon enough, I heard it again. The voice was yelling, shouting at me. I felt it inside of my mind, screaming in a voice that felt as glass shattering. It spoke terrible words, I could barely make out what they were, but it spoke with such hate, such anger that it sent shockwaves of pain through my already distressed mind.
I don’t know how long I remained like that. I had no way of judging time. The voice got louder, more frantic, but I could no longer make out what it said. I wasn’t until the screaming reached an unbearable level that it stopped, just as abruptly as it had come.
After that, I just stayed there, weightless in the white void.
I thought I could discern something amidst the whiteness. Almost like rippling waves of lavender, but they were too fleeting for me to recognise them as more than that. I didn’t realise it until the voice left, but at that moment, I felt so utterly and hopelessly alone. All I could see was the white light. No matter how hard I tried that’s all I could sense.
And it was painful.
After what felt like ages of being in that odd state of existence, I heard something. It was a voice, a different voice. Whether it was a product of my addled mind playing tricks on me, I did not know, but it was calling for me.
Then, against all expectations, I felt again, I felt an embrace, a loving embrace, like the ones my mother would give me when I woke up from a nightmare. It was warm, it was caring, it was loving.
“Princess Celestia?” I asked after finding my own voice.
“Shhh…” the Princess said, calming every one of my nerves, “It’s alright, Twilight. Everything is alright now.”
I became aware of my body again, and I immediately hugged the Princess. She tightened her embrace, and softly rubbed my mane with her hoof.
“What…” I mumbled.
“It’s alright, Twilight. Everything is alright now.”
I believed her. Her nuzzles felt so gentle and pleasant, as if they were washing away all the bad experiences of the night. All memories of the voice, the pain, the fear, they all went away.
“What happened?”
“You lost control of your magic,” she said, not in a reprimanding tone, but in a soothing one.
“There was… There was a voice, Princess. What was that voice?” I asked her, once I remembered my nightly ordeal.
The Princess didn’t answer immediately, she just kept hugging me, and I appreciated it immensely.
“That is not for you to know just yet, Twilight,” she said.
“But Princess,” I started, but was quickly interrupted.
“Do you trust me?” she asked me.
I looked into the Princess’s eyes, they sparkled with the white light that surrounded us. In that shared look, I found all the support and comprehension I didn’t knew I needed so much.
“Yes, Princess Celestia. I trust you.”
“Would you trust me to keep you safe in the future?” she asked me, and I thought I may have heard a pleading tone in her voice.
“Yes, Princess. I would,” I answered, and just as I did so, I started to feel very, very tired.
“Thank you, Twilight,” the Princess said, smiling a warm, heartfelt smile.
I suddenly felt something odd. I felt us shifting, almost as if we were falling to one side, ever so slowly, until we landed on something soft. It took me only a moment to realise we were in my room, just as I had left it before the voice came to me.
“You’ve had a long night,” the Princess said, catching my attention, “Why don’t you try to sleep?”
I looked back at the Princess. I felt completely different than when I heard the voice speak. There was no uncertainty, no mystery, no worries. At that moment, I just felt calm.
“Will you hold me until I fall asleep, Princess?” I asked.
“Of course, Twilight,” the Princess said as she smiled.
I left myself be enveloped by the Princess’s embrace. It felt warm. I didn’t know why, but at that moment, I didn’t care about not knowing. I was sure the Princess would tell me when she thought I should know. Right now I just needed my sleep.
I closed my eyes as I felt the Princess stroke my mane. She spread one of her wings and covered me with it. It was much softer than my blankets. I rested my head on her chest, and let her breathing lull me to sleep.
I laid in the darkness next to the Princess, until sleep took me, and I didn’t hear her anymore.
