Cabin Fervor

Twilight Sparkle prided herself on her planning and organizational skills. Even trapped as she was, with who knew how many Changelings scrabbling at the door to the tool shed, she quickly formulated a checklist to determine her next course of action.

Step 1: Acquire chainsaw.

Step 2: Ensure said chainsaw is in working condition.

Step 3: Kill everything.

Briefly, Twilight wondered if it was the adrenaline overdose or the gas fumes that were influencing her line of thought, but either way, she figured she'd just roll with it. Twilight yanked on her chainsaw's starter cord, and its motor roared to life. She tightened her grip on the handle, feeling the vibrations as they worked their way up her arms.

Not like she had anywhere else to go.

As soon as Twilight opened the door to the tool shed, the Changeling that'd been chasing her scrambled in.

Its mistake.

Twilight thrust the chainsaw straight ahead of her, straight into the Changeling's abdomen. More, stronger vibrations hammered up Twilight's arms, but she kept her fingers wrapped tightly on the chainsaw's handles. She grit her teeth, and then yanked the whirring blade of the chainsaw upward. Twilight ripped through the Changeling's torso, unevenly bisecting the Changeling where it stood. She kicked the gory remnants of the bug monster out of her way, and rushed out into the open night air.

The other Changelings lurking around the toolshed froze in their tracks as they caught sight of the gore-spattered, chainsaw-wielding girl. Twilight made them pay for their hesitation. She swung the chainsaw in wide, savage arcs, hacking through chitinous limbs like so much kindling.

By the time it was over, Twilight didn't know how many Changelings she'd killed. The mangled, dismembered remnants of the monsters surrounding her were too jumbled together for a proper count. Twilight stood in the center of it all, panting as she held the heavy chainsaw in front of her.

“Must've scared the rest away.” Twilight mused aloud. Apart from her own voice and the steady thrum of the idling chainsaw, the woods were silent. She spun around, saw at the ready, in case some particularly sneaky Changeling had managed to creep up on her, but she was, however temporarily, alone.

“Right. Get help.” Twilight nodded to herself, and headed for Fluttershy's battered minivan once more. The door was unlocked, unsurprisingly. Not like there was anyone around to break in, and not that the ancient van had anything worth stealing in it to begin with. Twilight peeked through the window, just to make sure there wasn't another Changeling lurking in the backseat, but the van was empty. Clear. She could figure out how to hot wire the thing easily enough, and then escape.

Leaving her friends behind.

Twilight looked back to the cabin. It had gone eerily, terribly quiet. The lights were still on, happily shining into the forest night. Apart from the occasional ichor spatter at the corner of a window, everything looked … fine. Idyllic, even.

Wrong.

Twilight nodded to herself, and headed back towards the cabin. The wooden planking of the porch was rough on her bare feet, but still a relief from the gravel driveway. Twilight leaned her back against the outside wall, and edged up to a window. She leaned over to peek inside. The inside of the cabin was trashed, a mess of broken furniture and Changeling bodies, but there was no sign of her friends-- or even of any of the surviving insect monsters.

Twilight braced herself with a deep breath, and opened the door. Slowly, she walked across the main room, keeping her chainsaw ready. She poked a few of the less-maimed corpses to make sure they were really dead, and made sure to check beneath couches, behind curtains, and into closets to make sure she didn't have any more horrid surprises. After a few minutes thorough search of the main room, Twilight realized she was alone-- if for the time being. The surviving Changelings must have already taken her friends-- down to the basement, Twilight assumed. Even over the din of a running chainsaw, she would've noticed a swarm breaking out of the cabin.

Her right foot hit something solid, and Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin before she realized she'd only knocked over the can of kerosene she dug out of the closet not all that long ago. Thankfully, the lid was still attached, so flammable fuel didn't spill all over the floor. Still, Twilight mused, the kerosene was something she could use. A quick survey of the main room yielded a few more useful items. She made her preparations as quickly as she could, and then pulled in a deep breath, knowing exactly where she had to go next.

The basement.

The steps creaked beneath Twilight's meager weight. As she made her descent, Twilight wished she'd thought to grab a flashlight, even though she knew she couldn't use the chainsaw and a flashlight at the same time. She ran one hand against the wall of the stairwell, searching for a light switch. Her fingertips traced over a few parallel grooves in the drywall-- claw marks from one of the Changelings going up, or the desperate scrabblings of one of her friends being dragged down?

Twilight finally found a light switch and flicked it upward. A single, naked light bulb flared to life, illuminating the large, dank basement. The big room was empty, save for a few decaying cardboard boxes pushed up against the bare concrete walls.

At the far end of the unfinished room, one of the walls was marred by an enormous crack, just a little wider than Twilight's shoulders. A sickeningly sweet smell wafted from the tunnel, strong enough to make itself felt even over the exhaust fumes of Twilight's idling chainsaw.

“There.” Twilight said.

Chainsaw held out in front of her, Twilight squeezed through the crevice. The rough concrete tore little rents Twilight's sleeves-- not that it mattered, she mused, since her pajamas were already ruined by Changeling blood anyway. She patted her left sleeve with her right hand, making sure it was hanging just right.

After only a few steps, rough stone of the foundation gave way to softer, warmer soil. Twilight tried not to think too hard about just what she was stepping in. One of the few benefits of not bringing a flashlight, she soon decided. The tunnel sloped gently downward, and wound this way and that in erratic, serpentine curves. Eventually, Twilight saw a sickly green glow coming from around one rounded corner. Bracing herself, she hefted her chainsaw and pressed on, emerging out into an underground chamber far larger than the cabin basement.

Jagged crystals set high on the walls cast an otherworldly light over the main chamber. The patterns daubed across the wall and ceilings reminded Twilight of a honeycomb, only if the neat geometric shapes had been partially melted into uglier, warped forms.

At the other end of the room, was … a thing.

What Twilight had first thought a part of the far wall unfolded in a tangle of spindly, chitinous limbs. She recognized the black carapace and soulless eyes of a Changeling, but this one was different. Taller. Leaner. Maybe even more feminine. Most intimidating, however, was the fact this Changeling had a human-looking mouth in place of twitching mandibles.

It was smiling.

“Twilight.” The Queen (for what else could it be) cooed. “I've been expecting you.”

“Uh. Good!” Twilight said, and revved her saw. “Then you'll know what's going to happen if you don't give me back my friends.”

“Ah. Yes.” The Queen languidly settled back onto a throne seemingly made of more, larger insectoid limbs. She crossed her legs and lounged back, as if posing for some deviant, insect-obsessed photographer. She waved a clawed, three-fingered hand. “Don't worry. Your friends are perfectly fine. For now.”

Something wet sounded from above, and soon, a sleeping-bag shaped mass lowered down from the ceiling in front of Twilight. The girl inside was wrapped up in some sort of gooey rope like a mummy, but Twilight recognized the flame-red hair instantly.

“Sunset!” Twilight reached for her, but stopped herself once she remembered The Queen was still there. “I swear, if you've hurt her … “ Twilight glared.

“Oh, she's perfectly fine, I assure you. All your friends are.” The Queen made another little gesture, and six more bundles descended from the ceiling, dangling on lines of wet silk. “And they'll continue to be just fine, as long as you cooperate.”

“Cooperate.” Twilight said.

“Of course. Wouldn't you like to set your friends free, without any more bloodshed?”

“I don't think that's possible.”

“Anything's possible, dear. Especially when you're a Changeling. Now, all you have to do is put down that saw and surrender, and we'll let your friends go.”

“You're going to have to do better than that.” Twilight said. “Giving up seven prisoners in exchange for one? It doesn't add up.”

“But it does. If you're a Changeling.” Those dark, too-perfect lips curled into a too-perfect smile. “That which is given willingly is much, much sweeter than what we have to … “ the blank eyes fell to Sunset's bundle. “Take.”

“And why shouldn't I just carve you up and rescue them myself?”

“Because, despite your best efforts, many of my drones are still alive. You might be able to hurt me, yes … but even with that saw, do you really think you can fight all of us without any of your friends getting hurt?”

Twilight looked up at the slowly shifting figures on the ceiling, did some quick math in her head, and scowled.

“Instead, my plan is a win-win. Your friends will go free, and as for you--” The Queen snapped her clawed fingers, and her form melted into that of Sunset Shimmer, lounging back in a lacy black negligee that was usually only seen in magazines delivered in unmarked brown wrapping. “It's not as if you'll be lacking for company.”

Twilight's eyes ran down the length of an impossibly clean black stocking before snapping back to Not-Sunset's eyes. “... are you really going to let them go?”

Not-Sunset nodded, and smiled. The eye color was slightly off, and the fake Sunset showed more teeth when she smiled than she should. Twilight felt her heart beat a little faster anyway. “Alright.” Twilight said. “As long as you let them all go.”

“I knew you'd come around to my way of seeing it. Now. Drop the saw.”

Twilight turned the chainsaw off, letting its motor sputter to a stop. As soon as she dropped the tool on the floor, the muscles of her arms twinged in relief, relieved of the heavy burden. “Drop my friends.” Twilight said. She paused. “Er, I mean. Gently lower my friends to the floor and then untie them. Please.”

“Mmm. In due time.” Not-Sunset crooked a come-hithery finger at Twilight. “I want to get a good look at you, first.”

Twilight balled her fingers into fists, but forced herself to comply. In other circumstances, that sort of look, that sort of gesture could have melted her to incoherent mush. But this time, she knew better. Still, she walked across the underground throne room, closer and closer to Not-Sunset.

The throne itself reached out for Twilight, drawing her in against the impostor Sunset Shimmer. Despite their closeness, the disguised Changeling felt … oddly cold. Not-Sunset's hand rose up, and toyed with the top button of Twilight's ragged pajamas. “Mmm. Look at this. Filthy. We'd best get you cleaned up.”

“My friends.” Twilight said, narrowing her eyes. “I'm not doing anything until you let my friends go.”

“Ah.” Not-Sunset's hand snapped to Twilight's throat. Her fingers squeezed, just enough to remind Twilight of the Changeling's terrible strength. “About that. I lied.”

Twilight gasped, and then another flex of the Changeling's fingers cut her off.

“You had it right the first time.” Not-Sunset said with a vicious, toothy smile. “There's no reason to trade seven meals for just one. Unless, of course, you can charm the last one by putting on a pretty face.” Not-Sunset's mouth opened up just a few degrees too wide, and an inhumanly lengthy tongue lolled out to drag a wet trail up Twilight's cheek, lingering at the corner of her eye to savor the tear forming there. “Delicious.” The Changeling Queen hissed. “Heroism is an acquired taste, I've found, but if you cut it with just the right amount of despair … “ She trailed off into a mad laugh.

Twilight started laughing too.

“Mmm?” The Changeling Queen's tongue retracted into her mouth like a retreating eel. “I haven't broken you already, have I? I thought you were stronger than that.”

“I am stronger.” Twilight rasped. “Smarter, too.”

“Do tell.”

“I knew something like this would happen. So I made a contingency plan.” Twilight forced a smile.

“What?” Not-Sunset blinked, and for the briefest of moments, the blank, multifaceted insect eyes could be seen.

Far above, something burst with an eardrum-threatening pop.

Twilight laughed again. “Aaaaaaand that is the sound a can of aerosol bug spray makes when you leave it in the microwave too long.”

“A child's prank.”

“Maybe.” Twilight said. “But if you dump a gallon and a half of kerosene around that microwave before it blows up … “ The faint, tangy smell of melting plastic and blazing fuel wafted down the tunnel.

“Fool!” Not-Sunset yanked Twilight closer to her. “You'll burn with us!” The Changelings clinging to the ceiling chattered and screeched in panic as they felt the heat of the burning cabin.

“I thought you'd say that.” Twilight said. “Which is why I brought the knife.”

Twilight's right hand disappeared into her left sleeve, and pulled out the long, slim kitchen knife she'd duct-taped to her forearm. The shining blade then disappeared into the Changeling Queen's chest, over and over and over again.

Not-Sunset choked out a surprised, anguished cough, spattering Twilight's glasses with greenish blood. Twilight leaned in, and gave the knife a final, thorough twist. The grasping insectoid limbs of the Changeling Queen's throne shuddered, and then released their grip on Twilight. The illusion faded away, and soon there was just a broken, lifeless Changeling in its place.

Twilight gritted her teeth and yanked the knife out of the Queen. She looked up for a moment, paranoid-- but the sudden heat of the blazing cabin and the sudden death of their Queen had worked them into a panicked, mindless scramble, ignoring Twilight.

Twilight prised herself out of the dead Changeling's arms, wincing as the limp, clawed limbs dragged over her flesh. “Can't waste time.” She told herself as she started hacking away at the closest cocoon-- which just coincidentally happened to be Sunset Shimmer's.

Solingen steel parted Changeling excretions easily enough. Sunset Shimmer (the real one, Twilight desperately hoped) coughed and sputtered as the sticky silk was pulled away from her mouth.

“Twilight?” She gasped. “I told you to--”

“Leave. I know.” Twilight yanked at a tougher stretch of binding and sawed away at it with her knife. “I didn't listen.”

“You should have--”

“Run away. I know. You would've died if I did.”

“Wait, did you--”

“Light the cabin on fire and kill a Changeling doppleganger that happened to look like you? Why yes, that's exactly what happened.” Twilight yanked the last of the silken rope away from Sunset's arm. “Now, if you don't mind, we've got to get everyone free and out of here before the fire starts sucking all the oxygen out of these tunnels and we all die of asphyxiation.”

“Twilight … are you okay?”

“Nope!” Twilight said, maddeningly cheery. “But I think I've kind of gone so far around the bend so I'm totally, completely, absolutely rational. Now here, take this knife. I'm gonna go grab the chainsaw.”

“The what?” Sunset said, but any further protests were drowned out by the sudden roar of the chainsaw motor. Carefully (at least as carefully as she could manage with a gas-powered logging tool), Twilight cut through the webbing that held her friends in place. After poking the tapered end of the cocoon to make sure there wasn't anything solid in the way, Twilight hacked off the caps and drug her friends out as if they had been in a sleeping bag. Within moments, all of Twilight's friends were free-- even if they were battered, dazed, and filthy.

“Everyone, get behind me!” Twilight said, “We need to get out of here before the cabin burns down and collapses!”

“Before what?” Sunset sputtered.

“Explanation later! Moving now!”

The tunnels were a little easier to navigate the second time. Twilight pushed through as fast as she could, out into the basement, and then up the stairs. Courtesy of an exploded microwave and a copious amount of kerosene, half the cabin was well on its way to a very literal interpretation of the term “Hell's Kitchen.” Twilight held her ragged pajama top up to her mouth, and pushed through the flames as quickly as she could, out into the main room and the cool dawn beyond. Her friends followed suit, running out onto the driveway, coughing and sputtering all the while.

Twilight did a quick head count of her friends, and then dropped her chainsaw as it sputtered through its last few drops of gasoline. “Okay.” She slumped against the hood of Fluttershy's minivan and watched the cabin burn. “So, uh. Your parents have insurance, right Cadance?”

After entirely too many brushes with death, the aftermath was surprisingly easy to deal with. They threw the dead Changelings in the driveway into the blazing cabin; Changeling chitin proved to be surprisingly flammable. Afterward, it was a simple matter of washing off in the lake, hot-wiring Fluttershy's van, and then heading back into town to report the house fire. “Someone must have knocked over a candle” proved enough explanation for the small town fire department. After that, it was a matter of getting a hotel room to take refuge in.

By the time the sun began to set once again, the ashes settled on the blackened ruin of what was once a luxury cabin. Thankfully, the flames had not spread to the forest beyond, leaving the rest of the lakefront looking properly idyllic.

A single claw burst from the ash-covered floor. An arm followed, and then the rest of a chitinous Changeling body. The creature coughed and hissed. It fluttered its wings, sending a shower of ash in all directions. The death of the Queen had released a wave of potent pheromones, signaling a chemical change in the drone. Its instincts changed, as if a switch had been flipped. It to find a new territory. A safer territory. A place where it could rest, and feed, and change … and soon enough, the humble drone would be the newest Queen, to give birth to a new brood of Changelings, ready to conquer the world. The Changeling chittered, and pulled its mandibles back in a sick approximation of a smile, lost in the thought of the delicious meals to come.

It didn't see the axe that swung into the back of its head.

The last Changeling's skull split with a wet crack, and the monster fell to the floor.

Twilight planted one foot on the Changeling's back and yanked the axe free with a wet splutch.

“See?” She said, and turned back to Sunset. “I told you there's always one more. It pays to be thorough.”

“You are getting way too good at this.”

“I learned from the best.”

“Flatterer.”

“One thing, though.” Twilight said, and rested the head of the axe in the ash.

“Hm?” Sunset tilted her head to the side.

“Back in the kitchen, when you found the first, uh … Not-Me. How'd you know it was a Changeling?”

“Oh. Uh. That.” Sunset Shimmer scratched at the back of her neck. “She looked like you. Smelled like you. But … it didn't add up. Felt wrong.”

“How?”

“She was a good kisser.” Sunset's cheeks threatened to tint the same shade as her hair.

“Hey!” Twilight sputtered.

“I'm sorry! It's just she was more, uh … aggressive. Than you. Handsy, even.” Sunset made a vague yet obscene gesture with her fingers. “It wasn't you. Too … aggressive. And not even in a 'pent up sexual frustration' sense.”

“So you stabbed me? Er, her? Whoever?”

“Actually, I didn't go for the knife until she-- until it tried to eat my brain.”

“Ah.” Twilight fiddled with her glasses. “That's good to know.” She took a step closer. “For future reference.”

“What're you--”

Twilight gently pulled Sunset to her by the lapels of her jacket, and leaned in for a brief, tentative kiss. She stood there for a few moments longer, and then smiled. A warm breeze rolled in off the lake, wafting through the charred ruin of the cabin.

“Don't think I'm a Changeling now, do you?” Twilight said with a smile.

“When you put it that way, maybe we should check again. Like you said, it pays to be thorough.”