Orifice: The Musical

A head sat idly on a school desk in boredom. The current owner of the said head was none other than Button Mash. He was not enjoying the current lesson that Mrs. Cheerilee was teaching today. Though, that wasn't the only problem for all he could do was stare at the classroom billboard. Making sure to not make eye contact with any of the resident fillies in the room. Before, they would always smirk and flirt at him, send him paper messages of "Do you like me?" and more to the point where it got flippant. Nearly the whole classroom sans Rumble, Snips and finally Snails were the colts of the entire educated population. Rumble was in other words, another filly in spirit. He would send messages to him just as much as any filly who tried to get his attention. And of course, Snips and Snails were sadly lacking in the attraction department, but they were used to this treatment and usually just hanged around themselves.

Button almost envied that connection between the two colts. Sometimes he wished that he was ugly so these rampaging females would get off his back. The only fillies that seemed normal enough were the three Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom. Though he wanted to make friendships with them, he still feared that it would creep into relationship territory after a while. He really didn't need that at the moment. Not that he couldn't handle a relationship with a cute filly, it's just not what something he craved for. No, he wanted a good ol' fashion bro hood with a fellow dude. To play baseball and video games whenever they would come home to visit. Talk about manly things and doing cool stuff that only bro's can do. Have sleepovers that don't have to be necessarily kissing or romantic hubris between the opposite sex.

Button Mash smiled at the idea of having a good friend. The dream made him feel a sort of mental bliss. It was tiring to be alone playing video games all the time. And sure, his mother would play with him from time to time, yet it still wasn't enough for the sad Button Mash. Suddenly, the roof to the school was quickly ripped off. Many ponies screamed as the assailant came forth from above. A weird monkey-like tail with a hand on the tip went and stretched out before Button Mash was helplessly grabbed into the sky. The creature then revealed itself as none other than Ahuitzotl. Button screamed with a terrified fury as he was carried out from the class room and continued to do so while in his grasp. The hand lifted Button up to Ahuizotl's face, to which the forlorn colt covered his eyes for his end. Then there was silence, Button didn't feel the horrible teeth that he expected, only the breeze of the wind in store for him. He opened his eyes to the monster that would eat him.

"Hi there!" said Ahuizotl. Button screamed again before breathing in a frantic pace. "Woah a calm down there Button Mash."

"Wait, you know my name?", Button felt a confused shock in his brain, interrupting his panic. "What are you and what do you want?"

Ahuizotl scratched his chin and thought to himself. "Well, my name is Chad from Montgomery, I never thought I would ever make it to Equestria, it almost seems surreal."

"You're not from around here?"

"Nope, all I remember is that I got hit in the head while working as a construction worker and now I'm in this body.", Chad looked around himself in the green depths of the Everfree Forest. "But, I do remember you from that Youtube video, with you and Sweetie Belle. It was pretty entertaining back then, though I haven't seen season 3-5 as of yet."

"Season wah...?"

"Eh... never mind, anyways. I just wanted to meet you in person, or pony. Weird how the vernacular works.", Chad settled down Button Mash for him to which he sat on the grassy earth comfortably. "My only regret is that I'm going to miss all my video games back at home, I worked so hard to buy them all."

Button's eyes flared up. "Wait, you play video games? I have them too! What kind of games do you like?"

Chad of Montgomery only scratched his head. "Well, I wouldn't be able to play pony games with these massive claws or anything."

"Well, what about your other hand?" asked Button with excitement in his eyes. "That seems small enough to play with? Why don't you come over to my house?"

"Well ok, I wouldn't mind comin over, though I'm not sure I can fit inside, say is your brother and mother there?"

Button looked at Chad with a funny expression, not understanding what he meant by "brother". "Oh, uh. Thats right, the brother isn't canonically made... I mean your mother, must have gotten a mix-up with someone else."

"No worries, I'll explain to her that I made a new friend, it'll be easy!"

Chad stood up and stretched his limbs. "Well, ok, lets go then, it's better than being in this creepy place..."

So, he picked up Button Mash as he raised his hooves in the air like it was some type of roller coaster and together went their way back to Ponyville.

A loud thud came out from outside of a home, Button's Mom awoke from the bed she slept on. Startled and a little hazy, she went into the living room and found the big screen television out from it's socket. Then, she noticed the sofa cushions also gone from the fuzzy ground. She searched with her eyes to what could have been the cause of this till she exited the house at the sight of such a large stature from the window view. There, she saw something absolutely unexpected. It was Button Mash and a large monstrous creature, playing video games on the large big screen.

"Buttones Gregory Mashable, what is all this!?" she said in a daunting tone. Button paused the game before he went up to his mother's terrifying gaze.

"Mom, it's not what it looks like, He's just a friend.", as he said this, Chad made a friendly wave with his massive claw at the mother, to which she begrudgingly did the same.

"Well, Button he seems... dangerous in a way.", she said with hooves crossed. "Well, if he is your friend, then I understand. But I would like if you'd hanged around ponies your age."

Chad stood up from the ground and wiped his legs from any excess dirt. He scratched his head while giving a nervous smile.

"Sorry mam, I just met Button Mash and we just became friends as of late, I didn't mean any trouble by pulling out all your stuff from your home". Chad sat again, a loud tremor came from his weight.

"Well, if that's the case, it's no problem. Just return everything after you are done."

Button went to his mother and grasped her hind leg before she could return inside. She stopped and looked to her son with his big youthful eyes.

"Hey mom, there's this question I wanted to ask. How come there isn't as many colts compared to fillies?"

Button's Mom scratched her chin at the curious thought, she thought for any traces of an idea before humming throughout.

"Hmm, I wouldn't know Button. But, I guess it could be genetic or some kind of biological thing". She turned her way back inside the home and started walking to her room. "Make sure to return everything back!"

Chad picked up the controller for the little game they were playing. He awaited for Button to press start before turning his head to the confused little colt.

"Whats wrong Button, something bothering you?" he asked sincerely.

"Oh, it's nothing, I just always wondered why there is so little colts in Equestria compared to fillies", Button went back into the seat and continued playing.

"Well, maybe we could ask the Celestial Sisters. They are thousands of years old. They gotta know something at least".

"Wow, that's a great idea. But, maybe in ten more minutes... I haven't had the experience to play two-player other than with mom."

And so they played for several hours.

It seemed like it was getting late with the evening sky almost transforming into the darkness of the night. Button Mash yawned and suddenly realized that he had enjoyed himself for too long. The thought of so many fillies without an equal amount of colts frightened his consciousness. He could only bump his gaming buddy to his arm with his small hoof.

"Wuh, Button why did you stop. We were almost to the final dungeon."

Button Mash wiped his eye and got off the sofa. Even if it's comfort would leave him, he still needed

to find out that question that had circulated in his mind for so long. He turned off the game and watched Chad's dissatisfaction.

"Aww come on, Button", him waving his arms in disappointment. "We worked so hard to get there. What could possibly be more important than finishing this game!"

Button stared at Chad with eyes fully agape. The realization came to the large monster and noticed the night approaching.

"Oh crap, I forgot about the sisters.", Chad swiftly picked up Button Mash and started running to Canterlot Castle.

"Wait! What about the furniture" screamed Button.

"We have no time, I'll ask for your mother's forgiveness when we get back. No worries, we'll get that answer for ya soon enough"

As he ran as fast as his large feet could take him, the sight of Canterlot Castle could be seen from off the distance.

The gates of Canterlot Castle were protected by exactly two guards. Watching effortlessly without a single blink of an eye. Then, the loud tremor that shook the ground. From afar, they could see a galloping creature the size of three ponies coming at them in a silhouette of shadow. They prepared their spears and readied themselves for their very lives to be forfeit. They stood frozen at the creature upon them, almost shaking a bit from the assailant that would attack.

"Hi there, can we meet with the Princess's?" said Chad, his hulking body illuminated from the light of Canterlot Castle.

One guard stood forward, a bit shaky from such a large monster being so polite to them.

"T-t-the P-p-princess's are not a-available currently"

Button Mash dropped down from Chad's grasp.

"You mean, we came all the way here for nothing? Darn it!"

Then, the doors to Canterlot Castle screeched open. Emerging from the opening was none other than, Princess Celestia in all her radiance. She looked upon the two and the guards backed away from them all.

"Hello Button Mash and Chad, I have been expecting you both. Please come in" she said.

They followed them both and continued their way behind the illustrious Princesses step.

"Oh wow, Princess Celestia! So are you gonna tell me why there are so little colts like me?"

The Princess nodded and stopped to their destination. A single room that she screeched open easily.

"You, Chad will be resting in the Throne Room, for tomorrow I will illuminate all that you have come to ask for", Button Mash entered the room with a excitement befitting a young colt in a royal castle.

"Good Night Chad! I'll see you tomorrow, I can't wait to tell my mom about all this", Button closed the door swiftly. Leaving Chad and Celestia alone.

Chad followed Princess Celestia to the throne room, to which it was easily opened by her guard.

"Wow, I can't believe were getting the best treatment. And, man am I exhausted after all this running. It was a long trip after all...", as he entered the throne room, the door closed behind him and startled him for a moment. "Hey, Celestia, where did you go?"

Chad tried to open the door with what little strength he used. Didn't want to destroy the room that was owned by powerful goddesses.

"Eh, must be some mistake" he said under his breath. He lay back in the long hallway and closed his eyes for tomorrow.

The scent of musk and musty decay harassed the scent of Button Mash as he stirred awake. He looked around himself, a haze affecting his eye sight. He could only see the low-light of the area and the concrete walls that surrounded him. Then, he could feel the chains on his hooves. He could not move even one inch with any of his limbs. He could only struggle with what meager power he had.

"What, what's going on?" he said to the emptiness of the room.

Emerging from the dark reaches, came Princess Celestia as level-headed as she was before.

"Princess, What's happening, why am I chained up?"

She coughed and cleared her throat, before she eyed Button so helpless and detained.

"I'm sorry, Button. But, you made me realize what I was doing is wrong, I can't sit idly anymore and allow this injustice to last", Celestia magically radiated magic from her horn and next to her, two torches emerged fully lit on fire. From between these lights was Button's Mother, spinning her head, dazed out of her mind. She sat on a chair and watched squeamish, before she found the smell of the opposite sex nearby.

"For you see Button, to further the increase of the male population. Males must fornicate with their mothers in order to birth more for their own sex, it was the best way to create more males back then", Celestia lowered her head in despair. "At one point, me and my sister destroyed this act because we deemed it disgusting and wrong, but now see the consequences in examples like yours."

Button's Mom licked her lips, she stood up and walked to her prey with a drunken-like step.

"I have done a spell for her to take you apart sexually with every fiber of her being", Button's Mom stepped closer more with each hungry lick of her lips. "By this time of tonight, she will be impregnated by your sperm without a single doubt"

"Wait! I was wrong, please don't make my mom my special somepony! Anything, but that!" he said with a cry.

Celestia unlocked the door to the dungeon. She exited it and locked the door before she looked at Button with one final gaze.

"For the good of Equestria...", and with that she left.

Button Mash screamed and shook as hard as he could. His mother getting closer, giggling like a horny school mare. Without a second more, she was upon him...

Button Mash and Chad sat outside of Canterlot Castle with both having an odd dissatisfied facial expression. Both wanted to speak to what they endured, but couldn't really come out with saying it.

"Eh, so how was your night?" said Chad sadly.

Button Mash grasped the upper area of his crotch and grimaced from the sensitivity.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Chad massaged his temple and tried his best to forget what he had done.

"Funny thing, turns out I was brought to Equestria to have relations with Princess Luna. At first I refused, but then she started crying about "How much no one loved her" and how "No creature, even stallion took notice of her" with those tears of her, which made me feel terrible. And before ya know it, we did the said thing.

Button Mash only frowned much worse than before.

"Well, Button. They used a spell to put me in this massive body, why they put me in this body of all things? Seemed to be some kind of kink to the Lunar Princess, but I'm not going to judge after that, especially if she was desperate enough to get a brony like me", he scratched his head and covered his long face. "The thing is, I'm not sexually attracted to ponies, I just enjoy the show. I don't even fap it to them. I feel that's wrong as hell."

"What did you mean when you say... show?"

Chad looked pensively at the sky, it's beautiful blue reminiscing of his own world.

"In my own world, this is a cartoon. But, I don't need to get into all that. So, Button, from a friend to a friend. Can you do me a favor, can you send me back?"

Button looked at Chad and started crying tears from his large eyes.

"First this, now I have to lose you..., what do I need to do... friend?"

Chad chuckled and pulled out a shovel that he had hidden from his side.

"Just give me a good ol' strike on the head. Just like I got back at home."

He handed the shovel to Button Mash, to which he raised it as hard as he could.

"I just wanted to say, thank you Button for being my friend"

And with that, Button Mash smashed the shovel onto his head as hard as he could. Tears flowing down his eyes at the sight of his "friend" scratching the top of his head.

"What is the meaning of this!? Daring Do, I'll have you...", Ahuizotl looked at the small pony with a shovel on his hooves. "Who are you, and what am I doing here!?"

"Well, I'm a friend of yours remember, oh wanna go on adventures or something?" said Button Mash cheerfully.

"I could always use a handypony, but this place is not a good area for a thieving type like me, lets get out of here"

And so, Ahuizotl grasped Button and ran off far away from Canterlot. Button Mash stared at the blue sky in all it's beauty all the long way.

From the door to Canterlot Castle, came Button's Mom. She ran out and screamed as loud as she could.

"Your colt's will be waiting for you when you return!", before licking her lips.