That's not how you make new friends!
Making New Friends
By
Teal
“Starlight Glimmer should be here any minute now. Any minute now…” Twilight said, before giving out a nervous laugh as she stared at her former mentor and fellow ruler, Princess Celestia.
Looking up towards the taller alicorn, Twilight could see the obvious look of boredom plastered on her face. And she couldn’t blame her. If she was stuck here for nearly an hour, waiting for a pony that didn’t seem to be coming, she would be bored too. Despite Twilight claiming that her student would be here soon, trying to reassure both herself and Celestia, deep inside she knew that she wasn’t really sure if Starlight would be here or not.
Where are you, Starlight? Twilight thought worriedly, biting her lip as she glanced at the melting statue and watched it drip through the passage of time.
When Twilight sent off Starlight the other day to find a new friend, she expected that the pony would have no trouble in finding one. This was Ponyville after all, the friendlies place in Equestria. Surely she could find at least one friend in town.
Obviously finding a friend wasn’t as easy as Twilight thought, since Starlight hasn’t shown her face in the castle since then. At first, Twilight had just assumed that Starlight was just busy being well acquainted with her friend and that she would be back in time for the dinner, but now, as each drop from the melting ice statue counted each wasted second, Twilight began to fear for the worst.
Oh...no, no, no, no… Twilight sporadically thought, as her mind bounced in panic. What if something went wrong? I knew I should have made her a list first before sending her off. She barely knows anything about making friends and probably encountered problems. A lot of problems! I should have went with her and helped her out…
Being busy fixing the castle, preparing it for the dinner, and assuming that her student can hold out on her own, Twilight decided not to bother in joining Starlight in her hunt for a new friend, for she didn’t want to interfere. But now, as she nervously waited for her while trying to entertain Celestia, she began to regret her decision of not joining her or at least checking up on her.
I shouldn’t have spent so much time on proper silverware placement… Twilight thought gloomily.
Tempted to slam her head on the table, she did her best to fight of the urge, knowing that it would make her look worst in front of Celestia.
At this point, Celestia had already given up on the idea of being entertained by Twilight and was now inspecting the silverware, carefully lifting each utensil with her magic and stare at it as she spun it around.
Letting out a groan as she saw the bored alicorn, Twilight wished that this was just all a nightmare and that Princess Luna would pop out of nowhere sooner or later to wake her up. But to her dismay, this did not happen and she was left to suffer from the embarrassment of the entire situation.
But seeing Celestia lift the piece of silverware gave her an idea, as she suddenly sat straight and beamed at the white alicron, catching the attention of Celestia and making her glance curiously at Twilight.
“So…I see you like the silverware.” She said, trying her best to grin without showing the nervousness within her. “I can proudly say that I myself have carefully placed them, after studying countless of books on how to do it properly of course.
Staring down at the silverware in front of her, she pointed to each one of them, smoothly and victoriously gesturing to each one. “They are all perfectly positioned on the table, following the proper spacing and angle, so that they can look pristine and formal.”
Grinning even wider, she then looked back at Celestia who was more confused than interested at Twilight’s explanation. “Thinking about it, I believe that the second greatest magic after friendship is proper silverware placement!”
Smiling, she prayed inside hoping that she at least mildly entertained Celestia. But seeing the deadpan look on the white alicron, Twilight immediately frowned and looked down in dismay.
Sighing, Twilight felt defeated, knowing that she had disappointed her former mentor with this dinner. “This isn’t entertaining you by the slightest, isn’t it?”
Shaking her head, Celestia kept her silence, seemingly punishing Twilight by not even bothering to talk to her.
“I’m sorry, Celestia…” Twilight apologized, hoping that she could make it up to her for the failed dinner. “…I just don’t-“
Twilight was immediately cut off when the sound of Starlight Glimmer’s voice echoed from the hallway through the open dinner room door and into her ears.
“Twilight? Hello? Are you here? Listen, I’m sorry about being late, but I can make it up to you. I brought my friends with me, if that would help.”
Hearing Starlight enter the castle, the small flame within Twilight, which had already given up to the coldness of despair, was suddenly rekindled. Giving a sheepish grin at Celestia, she made quick glances from the door and the alicron.
“Starlight, we’re over here at the dinner room!” Twilight called, relieved to finally know that Starlight was here. “Oh, and bring your friends with you, I’m sure Princess Celestia would be glad to see them.” She added, giving a quick smile towards Celestia, hoping that Starlight’s arrival would flush away her boredom.
Bursting into the room and galloping towards the table, Starlight started at Twilgiht and gave her sporadic bursts of apology.
“Listen, Twilight, I’m sorry that I’m late but I needed to-“ Starlight suddenly stopped when she caught sight of Princess Celestia sitting next to Twilight.
Following proper decorum, she gave a bow towards the white alicorn, which was returned by a humble and pleasant nod from the white alicorn.
“Princess Celestia, it’s an honor to have you join this evening.” Starlight said, as she rose from the bow.
“The honor is all mine.” Celestia simply said. “I am glad to finally formally meet you, Starlight Glimmer…or should I say, “Popcorn Menace’?”
“Eh, heh, is that what they still call me at the Crystal Empire?” Starlight asked, nervously shuffling her hooves.
“Yes, it’s quite hard for them to forget the crazed mare that filled their streets with popcorn.” Celestia stated bluntly.
Starlight simply looked down, embarrassed to reply after being reminded of that moment.
“So, uhh, Starlight…” Twilight said, hoping to break the awkward silence that suddenly overcame the room. “…didn’t you say brought your friends with you? Why don’t you introduce them to us?”
“Ah, yes!” Starlight said, looking up with a small smile before turning her head to call out her friends. “Hey, everypony, why don’t you all come here and meet the Princesses.”
“Yes, Starlight…” Came replied a chorus of monotone voice.
Puzzled by this, Twilight gave her student a worried looked. But Starlight only returned her gaze by giving her a happy and proud expression.
Turning her attention towards the door, both Twilight and Celestia watched as one by one, Starlight’s friends began entering the large room.
The first ponies Twilight saw was Lyra and Sparkler. Seeing this, she quickly understood why Starlight chose them. Both being unicorns, it was easy to understand how Starlight could easily relate to them, especially when it came to the topic of magic. They must have gotten so caught off with enjoying each other’s company that they forgot the passage of time, explaining why Starlight was late.
Looking at the two unicorns, Twilight was about to greet them and offer them a seat when suddenly two more ponies came. It was Doctor Whooves and Derpy.
Oh, apparently she made more friends.
Turning her attention squarely on the door, Twilight began to notice that more ponies were entering the room. After the Earth pony and pegasus duo came Bon-Bon, then Mayor Mare, then Roseluck, Lilly, and Daisy. But it didn’t stop there, as more and more ponies began entering in the room, soon filling the once spacious and large area. It was as if the entire town had tried to fit themselves within the dining room.
Twilight’s jaw nearly drooped at the sight of so many ponies, as she began to wonder if all of them were indeed Starlight’s friends. How did Starlight befriend all this ponies in such a short time? She thought, previously thinking that it was only Pinkie Pie that was capable of befriending so many ponies is such a short time.
Once that everypony was fitted inside and once there was barely any space left to maneuver, Starlight caught the attention of her ‘friends’ and said:
“Alright, everypony, let’s all be kind and say hello to Princess Celestia.”
“Hello, Princess Celestia.” They said in unison, the eerie tone of their monotone voices echoing in the room.
Intently gazing at the ponies gathered around them, Twilight began to note the weird expressions plastered on their face. Gazing blankly and with no emotion at all, the ponies around them had neutral and blank looks on their faces, as if they were soldiers waiting for a command.
It’s as if they’re all being controlled… Twilight though to herself.
At that moment, the gears within her head started processing what she was seeing and began concluding what it may all meant. Suddenly realizing what may have happened, Twilight turned her head towards Starlight and gave her a sharp look.
“What?” Starlight asked, frowning as Twilight stared at her.
In a quick wisp of magic, Twilight quickly pulled Starlight towards her and soon the two ponies were face to face, with Twilight still giving Starlight a stern look.
“Starlight, please don’t tell me you did what I think you did.” She whispered, hoping that Celestia wouldn’t hear their conversation.
“What do you mean?” Starlight asked confused. “The only thing I did for the past day and a half was follow what you told me, which was to make friends. So I did. And not just one, but an entire town of friends.”
Unimpressed, Twilight just shook her head before glaring once more at her student. “Yes, but how exactly did you befriend all of these ponies?” She asked, hoping that the conclusion she made was wrong and that Starlight actually befriended everypony.
“Well, at first I tried doing it the hard way, by actually befriending them.” Starlight explained. “But that didn’t seem to work out, since almost none of them have anything in common with me and were just plain boring. So I decided to mold them into the ponies I want them to be.”
“And how did you do that?” Twilight said, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Why, by using the modified mind control spell I’ve been working on.” Starlight said. “You see, I’ve been working on this spell back in the old town, hoping to use it on any rebellious member. But since you and your friends foiled my plans of having a town filled with equal ponies and ever since I decided to study under your wing, I never had a chance to test the spell out. Well, not until now that is.”
“Starlight!” Twilight scolded in a hushed tone. “I specifically said not to enslave the town.”
“Technically, you never actually told me not to enslave the town.” Starlight said, brushing aside that topic. “Besides, I remember you telling that the best way to make friends is by ‘being yourself’. And for me, ‘being myself’ is basically enslaving ponies.”
Planting her hoof directly on her felt, Twilight felt dismayed at what her student just said. “Starlight, that is not what ‘being yourself’ means!”
“Oh, it isn’t?” Starlight asked, tilting her head.
Sighing, Twilight shook her head, knowing that Starlight was even more clueless in friendship than she thought possible. It was as if her concept of having a friend was equivalent to the idea of having a slave. “You have a lot to work on, Starlight…”
Looking away from Starlight, Twilight turned around to gaze at Celestia, who was currently confused at why the entire town was in the dining room. Twilight knew that she would have a lot of explaining to do later and wished that she was back to being a student, instead of being a mentor and teaching another pony.
Great… Twilight thought. …how am I going to explain this to her? Hmm…well, uhhh, Celestia, apparently my student enslaved the entire town. But don’t worry, they’re now her friends. Yup, that won’t work at all.
Looking at Starlight again, she gave her a disappointed look as she shook her head. “Please don’t tell me that the spell you used on them is permanent.”
“Don’t worry, Twilight, it’ll wear off after a week or two.”
“Great…now we have a town of mindless slaves for an entire week.” Twilight said deflated, before curiously staring at Starlight. “How did you even manage to cast the spell on everypony? Did you cast it on them one by one or did you gather them all up in one place?”
“I gathered them all into one area.” Starlight chirped. “At first it was hard, but then I was soon aided by a new friend I made.”
“Which new friend?” Twilight asked, gesturing to the large crowd. But the question seemed to answer itself, as a loud voice called out from the crowd of ponies.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie pulled out a magnificent magic show to distract the foolish ponies, while her new friend, Starlight Glimmer, cast the spell on them! This just shows the power of our friendship. Together, Trixie and Starlight Glimmer are a deadly combination!”
“Thanks again for that, Trixie!” Starlight said with a big smile. “Isn’t she just great? I didn’t even have to use a spell on her to make her become my friend, she did it willingly.”
Staring at her with a dumbfounded expression, Twilight didn’t know what to say or how to react. But as the seconds pass, one though occurred in Twilight’s mind.
I knew that I should have decked her instead of accepting her as my student…
Author's Note
Just a little something I put together for fun. 
Not really sure how funny this actually is, but in my head it was. Then again, I have a low sense of humor. 
