Dear Friendship Journal,
My name is Starlight Glimmer. I guess you could say that I am the luckiest mare in Equestria. Instead of having to pay penance for my numerous crimes, I get to learn about the magic of friendship from the Princess of Friendship herself. I have magic that rivals the Element of Magic’s own, and I am allowed to stay in a large and beautiful palace. But everything is not all sunshine and roses. After we finished Trixie’s magic show, Princess Celestia and Twilight decided that a “friendship journal” would be good for me. Twilight agreed to have a more hooves-off approach about my friendship lessons (finally!), and bought me this journal. It is dark purple, with my cutie mark on the front. She wanted me to write about my day every evening, and include any friendship lessons I learned that day. Once a week, she’ll come to read it and see what I’ve learned. Afterwards, we’ll talk about it with Spike in the lounge over some tea. It sounds much better than hearing her fuss and fret over every single detail of my friendship lessons, that’s for sure! So, here goes nothing!
One lesson I’ve learned is not to hate myself for my past. I suppose I should explain my past. Well, one day, I was trotting down Mane Street on my way to the candy shop. I lived in a cozy little hamlet called Starlight. I know, right? It kind of seemed like I was named after my town when I was young. But anyway, I was on my way to the candy store when I bumped into somepony. It was an orange unicorn colt with a red mane and teal eyes. His name was Sunburst. He dropped his textbooks when I clumsily bumped into him.
“Starlight, you clumsy foal!” I mentally yelled at myself for being so oafish. Sunburst looked at me. His eyes gleamed as we stared at each other for what seemed like hours. He was the first to speak.
“Um, sorry about that. I-I was on my way back home from the library. P-Please don’t hate me.”
I was in shock. I was the one in the wrong, yet he was apologizing? But he just said that he had been at the library. The thought exhilarated me. He seemed like the bookish type, the type who was usually picked on for his intellect. I too was a bookworm, but unlike him, I was also aggressive. Not overly so, but I had stood down bullies and won. I collected myself and responded.
“Hate you? Are you kidding me? It’s so hard to find somepony who likes to study like me! Most foals just want to play silly games, but I want to become Equestria’s most talented mage!”
“Really?” Sunburst said with shock, “I want to become Equestria’s most talented wizard!”
Needless to say, we became fast friends. We would study for hours, taking turns reading from the same book. However, as we matured, we began to notice something about us. We were both fast readers, but Sunburst could read at a speed faster than Rainbow Dash’s flying. He was also a terrific teacher, and the quickest learner. His actual magical skill, however, was not as good as mine. While he taught me how to levitate, I could levitate more things at once than Sunburst could. He would teach me a spell, but I could cast it with much more skill and precision than he. It was obvious to both of us that we would have careers in magic. I thought that he would end up being a teacher of the magical arts, while I would practice them. His role as Crystaller suits him well. Then, came the day he got his cutie mark.
It was Sunburst’s idea to stack the books. He read it in a book full of magic exercises and wanted to try it. I agreed, because Sunburst always seemed to know everything. We practiced it for a while before the books started to fall. Sunburst had his magic surge, earned his cutie mark, and celebrated with his family. He bolted out the door. While I showed Twilight why I resented cutie marks so much, I noticed something my filly-self did not. After he bounded out, he beckoned me to join them. He didn’t abandon me like I thought. He even invited me to his cutecenara, though I didn’t exactly RSVP. Then, he moved to Canterlot. He said he wrote, and I wrote him, but for some reason, we never got each other’s letters.
After I lost my best and only friend, I became scared that another cutie mark would end any new friendships I tried to make. I developed a hatred for the things, and dreaded the day I would earn mine. I studied more advanced spells, such as invisibility and cloud-walking. I was most interested in cutie mark magic. I studied it harder and harder, finding out the precise nuances of how it worked. In my notes, I would doodle equal signs. They had begun to fascinate me ever since Sunburst left for magic school. The meaning of equality made my youthful heart soar. The idea that nopony could be better or worse than their peers. I imagined a perfect Equestria. Gray equal signs on every flank. Nopony losing a friend over petty symbols. Everypony, from the weakest foal to Princess Celestia herself, would be perfectly equal in every way. Pegasi would be no faster than their terrain-bound kin. Earth ponies would be just as weak as everypony else. Unicorns would not have different levels of magical knowledge. It would be paradise.
I started to think of a spell. One that would take away a cutie mark or replace a blank flank with a dark gray equal sign.
“But that wouldn’t take away their special talent,” I mused, “A cutie mark is just a visual representation of one’s special gift. It doesn’t control, it merely guides.”
I then thought of something else. What about one that depleted a pony’s talent? This could work! I scribbled all of this down in a special notebook my former best friend had given me for my birthday. It was the same color as my eyes. I still have that notebook…
That day was the day of our magic exam. The test was to turn a sphere into a rectangle using our magic. All the other students, who already had their cutie marks, barely passed. I, on the other hoof, passed with flying colors. I used my magic to carve the piece of wood into an intricately carved rectangle. All the time, I thought, nay, knew, that I would use magic to accomplish my goals. After the teacher gave me an A+, I earned my mark. Everypony thought my tears were of delight. They were wrong.
Over the years, I perfected my Cutie Mark Removal And Replacement spell (I’m very literal. So sue me). It was a lot of hard work, but it was so worth it. After graduation, I told my parents I would move to Canterlot. They shrugged and said it was fine with them. They never cared much very much about me. Oh, they fed me, gave me books to read, and tucked me in, but they were not helicopter parents. I took the train alright, but not to Canterlot. I took it to the desert at the edge of Equestria.
I used my magic to build a house. I discovered a cave nearby, and cast my Cutie Mark Storage spell there. I dug a well and built necessary buildings. I also carved the Staff of Sameness. If ponies knew it was my magic that took away their talents, they would surely riot. I claimed that it was one of Mage Meadowbrook’s enchanted items. Few ponies studied eastern unicorns, so nopony would know he had only eight enchanted objects, not nine.
I took a walk near the mountains nearby when I met Double Diamond. He had been knocked out, and had fatal wounds. I used my healing magic to, well, heal him. I then noticed my cutie mark. I was about to remove my cutie mark when it struck me: my cutie mark had to stay. Without my spell, everypony would have their cutie marks. I luckily had brought some makeup with me. I skillfully used it to cover up my flank and paint an equal mark. Then, Double Diamond woke up.
“Who are you?” he asked
“Why, I am Starlight Glimmer. I have saved your life.”
I proceeded to convince him that cutie marks were evil. He agreed to have it removed. The same process happened with more and more ponies. Then, Twilight and her friends tore it all apart. And, well, you know the rest.
I refuse to let my awful past haunt me anymore. I shall never forgive myself for what I did, but it taught me many things. I am very sleepy now but I will say one last thing: never start a cultist group!
Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer