The Games that Gods Play.
Back and forth, to and fro, here and there.
How many expressions could there be to describe it? The feeling of walking a great distance, in such a small area. He calculated, from how many hoofsteps he had taken, that he had walked at least a town’s distance by now. After all, there was nothing to do here.
It wasn’t Discord’s choice that his prison had manifested itself as this dark, dank room. The feeling of helplessness, sheer claustrophobia, caused him to cringe. He had seen the cells of Tartarus, and now that he had spent a good amount of time here, he would much prefer the filthy floors of hell to the clean, pristine domicile in which he now dwelled.
The room wasn’t small, by any means. No, this room was quite big, for a prison cell. But Discord knew better. He was frozen in time, a statue in a pony garden, no doubt. What he was experiencing now was all inside his own mind, and Celestia was controlling it. Controlling him.
Control. The very word made Discord spit. He spat on the floor and watch his own saliva quickly dissolve into nothingness. Every furious swipe of his claws on the walls, floors and ceiling of this cell were quickly wiped back to perfection. Celestia had not even granted him the small mercy of allowing him to tally the days in the cold, grey walls. Every minute disturbance would be quickly returned to a perfect, immaculate state. Such was Celestia’s spell. Such was her disgusting control.
But what disturbed Discord the most of all was the freedom he DID have. He was free to pace, free to fly up to the ceiling, back to the ground, to carve profane words on the walls and do nearly anything he pleased. He just had to witness it all be wiped back to clean, orderly fashion. He knew what Celestia was doing. Seeing that his chaos was to no avail, seeing that his fury and his conduct had no effect, it would make him stop. Discord knew this what she wanted, and he wouldn’t give her the sick satisfaction.
Sick. He carved it deep into the wall, as far as his eagle talons could reach, and carved it slowly enough so that he could watch it disappear as soon as it was manifested. He felt like a broken record, the thought repeating in his head, over and over again. Sick, sick, sick.
“I can’t believe I used to fancy you, you psychopath.” Discord croaked, his throat caked and dry. He knew none of this was real, that all of this was figmented from Celestia’s magic, but the pain was still there. It could still be observed, it could still be felt. It had to exist. “None of this is real, nothing here is real except me. How noble of you, Celestia. Being able to manipulate what’s never existed in the first place. How powerful you must feel.” Discord felt himself approach weeping, his chaotic, distant thoughts all culminating into one conclusion. She’s got me.
Why wasn’t she responding? Why bother creating such a twisted prison, yet not taunt and gloat over its victim? While her subjects would say she’s beyond the need to place herself over overs, Discord knew better. The only kind of pony that would create something this devious, this purely evil, would be one dastardly enough to hover over him and laugh. To fill his ears with her ringing, beautiful voice. To spit in his eye, to grace his presence with her own. To speak to him softly and hover over his bruised, abused body. To touch him, to make him feel complete again. To-
Oh, goddess. Discord knew what she was doing. She was truly omnipotent, enough so to manipulate his thoughts, to make him unhate her. But then what was the feeling in his draconequis gut? The feeling of utter helplessness before her, the sensation of wanting to be close to be close to her, to be seeing her perfect face, her defined and wonderful hips, and-
“Is this some sort of cruel joke, Celestia?” Discord hissed, the very idea of being attracted to his polar opposite repulsive in his mind. Being attracted to the one who tortured him, in the most cruel of ways. It was sick. Sick, sick sick sick. “Are you enjoying yourself? Am I a spectacle for you to indulge yourself?”
He waited in silence, standing still and tapping his pony hoof, awaiting a reply from his ever watching goddess.
What did he look like to her? Pathetic, no doubt. Stuck in his tiny, orderly box. Secretly begging for her, needing the only company he had the potential of receiving. Though, to her, Discord was sure nothing could remain a secret for long.
Introspection, Discord mused to himself, will get me nowhere, The only way to possibly become sane again would be to look outside of himself, to what Celestia had made for him. It would draw her attention away from him, if nothing else.
The walls were grey, orderly and perfect. All the same perfect, cold hue, with not a lick of color to them. Just the way Discord despised. He always prided himself on being able to add vibrancy to the world. What was the excitement, the thrill in grey clouds, white clouds with identical curves and fluffs. Why not make the clouds pink? Why not make the clouds cotton candy, with chocolate milk raining down from them? It was all joy, nothing malicious to the world Discord dreamed of. If anything, Discord's utopia would be shared by the fun-loving denizens of Equestria, they just didn't know it yet. They didn't have the chance to know it.
Celestia was the one who convinced them they needed order, that they needed rules and structure to govern them. They had to adhere to a certain way of the world, to accept what SHE had created, and nopony else. The natural ebb and flow of the universe cannot be controlled, Celestia. You know that. The world is chaos, it has always been and it will always be.
She was his antibody, his cure, and yet he yearned for her. Even as a free demon, he wanted her beside him. Not as a queen, no, but a companion. Someone to share his adventures and adoration with as an equal. She was powerful, wondrous, and beautiful as could be. She was perfect. But yet, she was Discord's captor, and forever his downfall.
He hated himself for needing her, for needing Celestia. Everything he did, with an air of maliciousness anyways, he did for her attention. As far as Discord knew, the both of them knew that, and both fulfilled each other's needs. Discord continued his antics, and Celestia continued to thwart them. It was as close to perfect as Discord had ever known. To be ignored by the object of his fantasies was torture, to be despised was second best to adored. But Discord knew, deep in his heart, that he had never desired her adoration. Not until he was locked away in his stone prison. Not until she had bested him, and kept him from continuing his cycle. That was when he began to need her. That was when-
Stop! He hissed to Celestia, and to himself. Please, I don't want to think about you anymore, I don't even want to think about me anymore. I just want to rest. Please. He didn't even care how pathetic he felt anymore. Discord simply tired of this, thinking his way into circles. He wanted to rest, to let his mind finally stop sprinting.
Discord dropped to his knees, resting them on the cold stone floor, and lay flat on his stomach. His mind was exhausted, and by extension, his body.
My tired, yet nonexistent body. He thought to himself with a wry, discordant chuckle.
"Celestia, may I rest?"
You may.
He woke up. Not on his cold, grey floor, as he so imagined, but in a bed. A bed? It had been eons since Discord had even considered sleeping in a pony-style bed. It never suited him, he had thought. Beds are for those who deserve respite, and respite was something Discord knew he neither deserved nor needed. He had gone years without sleeping, an immortal and all-powerful being. So why was this prison demanding sleep from him?
Ah, Discord reach an epiphany, She wants to bring me down to HER level, to the level of the pony subjects whom she holds so dearly. Learning to live under her rule, finding it bearable, that's what she wants me to do. He began to snicker to himself, standing up and separating himself from the bed. "You can't make me into a pony, Celestia. No matter how hard you try."
"That was never my intention."
He stopped in his tracks, in his pacing. Her voice, the haunting melody that had echoed to him before he fell asleep, was now exposing itself to him once again.
"Are you here? Right now?" Discord knew he shouldn't want anything to do with her. She was the reason for his unhappiness, the reason he was trapped here. And yet he wanted her here. He wanted her company.
"You said it yourself, this place only exists in your mind. How could I possibly be 'here'?"
"You know precisely what I mean." His long neck craned around the cold, boring room. "If your voice is in my head, then you must be, too."
He was met with only silence. Discord, seeing an outcome he expected come to fruition, laughed.
"Oh how I love these little games we play. You must love them, too. Otherwise, you would have frozen my consciousness for all of eternity, killed any semblance of living that I could have possessed. You're powerful enough to kill me, so why don't you?"
Silence again. She must be thinking.
"Take your sweet time, Tia." He hissed her beloved pet name, the name she loved so much. To his surprise and delight, Celestia responded nearly instantly.
"Don't call me that."
"My sincerest apologies, your majesty." Discord took a bow, enjoying this old feeling of getting under her skin. Now he had the upper hoof, her attention, and her irritation.
The room grew colder, and Discord felt his skin (and scales) crawl. This was Celestia's mind prison, and she was upset. He didn't mind. He had perturbed her, which was precisely what he wanted. "Is this your idea of perfection? Keeping me trapped here, with no magic, no power, no impact on my own reality? You must have some ulterior motive at play here, my dear. Especially considering you've come back."
Silence. Discord wished he had a way to sense her presence here.
"I just want to talk, Discord."
Ah, so there it was. She wanted to 'talk'. She wanted something from him, some sort of attention. Maybe some answers?
"You must know by this point, that there is no purpose to what I do. It's fun to turn worlds upside down. It's what feels natural to me. Chaos is peace, it is my perfect normal. Asking me to explain what I do is like if I asked you why you raise the sun every morning. You couldn't answer me."
"But you've never asked."
"Asked what?"
"Why I raise the sun every morning."
"Good goddess, Celestia. I thought YOU were the one asking the questions." Discord tittered, amusedly. "Fine. Since my helplessness doesn't seem to amuse you enough, I'll humor you. Why do you raise the sun every morning?"
"For all of my subjects. For their welbeing and happiness. Seeing my sun warm their smiling faces is a joy that cannot be replaced by power or riches. So I've taken a personal responsibility to make sure their smiles return every day. I do it for them."
"What's your point here?" Discord rolled his eyes and sat back down on the pony bed, idly picking at the spare fibers on the sheets.
"I never said that raising the sun was necessarily 'fun', or 'natural' to me. I do what I feel I must for the sake of others. We are all beings of chaos, Discord. Even I. But the difference between us is that I realize that if we all acted upon our chaotic tendencies, the world would be plunged into a dark mayhem."
"You're wrong." Discord said simply, plainly, without an air of interest or humor in his voice. "The difference between us is that I don't care. I have eons to waste, I don't want to waste them on pleasing anyone else. I'm comfortable enough to realize I don't need to do that."
"And yet you have an infinity of worlds to distort to your own preference. So why do you choose mine?"
He opened his mouth, about to answer with some biting retort about how irritating her was simply the chocolate rain to his cotton candy clouds, but then stopped. What did she expect him to say? That he still fancied her? That he hated her? Discord had no possible clue where she expected this conversation to go. And thusly, he remained silent.
But yet it burrowed in the back of his mind that it wasn't an entirely unreasonable question. Assuming Celestia didn't know why he insisted upon turning her world upside-down, this was a question he could easily answer with 'I don't know'. But what was more likely to Discord was that she knew perfectly well why Discord continued to irritate her, and just wanted to hear him say it.
You have access to control every part of my mind. Why do you still insist on doing this to me? Just for the thrill of the checkmate?
You didn't answer my question.
"I hate you." Discord hissed. "And I'm not answering your stupid question until you show yourself."
"Why would you care? Nothing here is real."
"You know precisely why I care, don't make me say it."
He waited in silence for a moment, feeling the room get considerably warmer. For the first time in what seemed like days, one of the walls changed. Discord expected a pillar of light to spill out of it, for Celestia's entrance to be grand and spectacular, just as she was. But no, she simply appeared from the wall, walking out of it as the wall rippled like water.
And there she was.
She was as beautiful as he remembered. He had always found himself transfixed by how her softer forms worked in harmony with her sharper ones. Her clenched jawline framed the face of a goddess, wise and beautiful eyes with a soft, slightly upward curved muzzle. Her mane was an ocean of mystery, the pastel colors undulating unto each other with every passing second. As for the regal adornments she wore? Discord didn't care for those. They were simple trinkets, weighing down the true goddess that bore them. As despicable as Discord knew she was, anypony could see that she was a sight to behold.
"So, here you are." Discord found himself soften, his wings folding unto themselves, his tail drooping to the floor. "Feels like the first time I've seen you in eons."
"I haven't kept you here that long, Discord." Celestia's horn began to glimmer with ropes of light, a grey table appearing before them from nothing, with a golden teapot resting atop it, with little porcelain cups. It dropped a short distance to the floor with a satisfying thunk, followed by the clink of the rattling tea set. "Sit. If you would." Celestia sat on the floor before the god of chaos, pouring herself a cup of tea. The heat and steam rose and swished in the air, dissipating into nothingness.
As tempted as Discord was to begrudgingly join her. He wanted his questions answered first. "How long have I been here?"
"One year, four moons, two days." Celestia said very matter-of-factly, her eyes not yet meeting Discord. Instead, she plopped a few sugar cubes into her tea. She fixed her eyes onto the tea itself, and Discord assumed perhaps that it was to deliberately avoid him. "So, not nearly as long as you would have yourself think, yes?"
"How come I can't remember how I got here, Celestia?" Discord stepped towards the table, his tail dragging along the smooth stone floor. "Why can't I tell how long I've been here?" While he had a hint of anger in his voice, he wouldn't dare lunge at her. That last thing Discord wanted was for his situation to be worsened.
"This place is a means for your rehabilitation, Discord. Inhibiting specific areas of your memory is necessary for this process to run smoothly. I-"
"Everything is just one nice efficient process for you, isn't it!?" Discord slammed his lion paw on the table, rattling Celestia's teacup. Little smatterings of tea now rested atop the perfect grey surface. "I knew it! You think I'm some sort of monster, some sort of FREAK!" He turned around for a moment, re-observing his surroundings. "I do what I do for a reason, and you NEVER bother to figure it out. You just put me in a cage and experiment with me!"
"You have no idea what you've done, do you?" Celestia furrowed her brow ever-so-slightly, her expression otherwise unchanged. "You stole the Elements of Harmony, and played God for your own amusement. I allowed you out of your last rehabilitation, because you promised you would control yourself. I never trusted you, I knew that even an eternity in this stone prison wouldn't turn you into an honest creature. I'm not the enemy here, Discord. I wouldn't treat you like a monster if you didn't act like one."
Her words froze him. He stood still for a moment, unmoving.
"You're not evil, Discord. I think the both of us know that." She stood up, slowly and calmly. "But if you refuse to discipline yourself, to restrict your chaos magic, then you'll become something much worse."
"What if I want that?" He said with a booming 'ha!', climbing onto the teatable. "What if I want to be beyond evil, the terror of the universe? What if I make the world into my own chaos kingdom? THEN, will you finally realize that I don't care about your stupid ponies? Will you FINALLY realize that your efforts of trying to reform me have all been in vain?" Discord was breathing hard, the growling passion in his voice having exhausted him.
"Do you want the easy answer, or the hard one?" She said, with another sip of the sugary tea. Golden flecks of levitation magic reflected off of her face.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Discord flared his wings. "Is this another riddle? Another hoop for me to jump through for your enjoyment? I think I've had enough of your mind games, TIa."
Celestia gritted her teeth, the only outward indicator of her anger being the slightly offset clench of her jaw. Discord made a mental note of it. Not much could irritate the princess, but her sister's cutesy nickname certainly could.
"Do you want the easy answer, or the hard one?" Much colder this time. It was the same words, but much, much colder.
"Easy." Discord said with a mocking drawl to his voice. "And I expect to be disappointed."
"If you do decide that the foolish pursuit of world domination is what you really want. I will stop you. I won't hesitate to kill you. My sister and I will drive you out, and see that you never return." Her face was now hard as stone. "You've been in this stone prison many times over, because I believe in you. You are irritating and criminal, no doubt, but you're not a lost cause."
He chuckled now, his brown fur rising and falling with his humored breaths. "Fine. Entertaining enough. Hard answer, if you please."
"Then you'll have lost me forever, Discord."
