Jesus fucking Christ, how long have I been stuck in this damned rock?! It's been too long to even keep track of anymore, but I know it's been a hell of a long time. People used to pass by me all the time, but now? I haven't seen another human being, let along something that talks, in god knows how long. For those of you who don't know who I am, I'm Anjuro Katagiri, Most people just call me Angelo. You bastards can call me whatever the fuck you want. I was born in Morioh in 1964, so by the time I got stuck in here, I was about 35 years old. My IQ is 160, for those of you who care about that shit. My first crime, which I carried out at the age of 12, was robbery and rape. Ever since the cops caught me then, I became one of the most vile criminals in Japan's history. I spent a considerable part of my youth in jail for my crimes, a total of 20 years by the time I turned 34. My last crime was so nasty it'd make even sewer rats puke in disgust. In March of 1994, I happened to bump into three 14-year-old boys. I raped and murdered two of them, and kept the third for ransom since he came from a rich family. Unfortunately for me, that's what led to my arrest. But, when the cops finally got into where the brat was, they saw a horrific sight as they learned they were too late. The brat was dead, and his dick was chopped off and nailed to a pillar next to his corpse.
Well? Have I got you scared shitless now? No? Then you must either be fucked up just like me, or just plain stupid. Anyways, when the cops had me behind bars, they decided to execute me. About a few days before my execution date, some punk in a school uniform got into my cell, and shot me in the head with an antique bow and arrow. That arrow pried something from my mind, according to what that punk said, but it turned out to be something called a Stand. Basically, a Stand is a manifestation of your soul that can be ridiculously overpowered and kick ass. Mine is this tiny long-ranged thing called Aqua Necklace. Aqua Necklace can basically disguise itself as any liquid, move through any liquid at super speed, and possess anyone who drinks it as well as kill them from the inside. Needless to say, you don't wanna be one of my victims on a rainy day. But back to my life story, when I was sentenced to be hanged by the neck, the execution failed to kill me. Shortly afterwards, I escaped from prison, and started hiding out in Morioh killing people whenever I felt like it.
Now, I didn't know how Aqua Necklace worked right off the bat, so it took me a little while to learn the basics of its abilities. After like the first few kills I had with it, I had a good idea of how it worked. Now, it was fun tearing out of people's heads and ripping up their insides with Aqua Necklace. One of the greatest highs a killer like me can have. Still, when I learned that I could possess people, I decided to play puppet master with it for a while. Robbed a few stores, scored some hot chicks in the process for a good murderfuck, and overall had a good time. At least, until Josuke Higashikata came along. I was robbing a store at the time while possessing a buff dude with black hair, and it was going smoothly with a hostage in my hands. But when that pompadoured prick came along, he punched right through me with his Stand, and left the guy's army knife inside his stomach. I pulled out Aqua Necklace, and decided to retreat for the time being. After a bit of research, I found out where Josuke lived, and tried to possess him or his hot mom with Aqua Necklace, but things turned out differently than I expected. Still, at least I got to kill his grandpa. We eventually fought on a rainy day, but Josuke managed to literally pound me into a rock and fix it with me inside. And here I am today, a living stone with no way to end this torture and no Stand to bust me out of here.
After a hell of a long time with no social interaction whatsoever, I was downright relieved when someone, or someTHING came by and stopped in front of me. It looked like a mishmash of animal body parts, and something out of a child's coloring book. Was this thing a Stand of some kind, or am I imagining things? Thankfully, it didn't take long before it spoke and looked at me curiously.
"Well, what do we have here? A stone that looks like a face? I wonder if anyone's inside? Knock knock!" At this point, the Stand-like thing began knocking on my forehead. I couldn't feel anything due to being a rock know, but it was still irritating. If there's one thing I hate, it's when people get cocky. I would've had an angry expression on my face, if I could move it, but I doubt that it would've scared this thing away. Now, this thing just looked at me for a few moments, and seemed to gaze into my soul. I hated that feeling. If I could bust out of here, I would've probably cut its dick and balls off and strung them up on a tree like I did that rich kid. Then all of a sudden, it just grins like the cockiest bastard alive, which made me want to kill it even more, and started twiddling its lion paw and bird claws like some Saturday morning cartoon villain.
"Oh my. I wasn't expecting to find another soul trapped in stone. I don't know what it is, but something about you just screams EVIL. I wonder what sort of chaos I can see if I set you free?"
What? Is this thing, this Stand or whatever actually saying what I think it is? Just as it snapped its fingers, I could feel the rock around me rearranging itself, as well as my body reforming. Yes! YES! After all these years, I can finally go back to being human! Gradually, I could feel all my senses coming back to me, and the pain of my bones recreating themselves. Wait, what? Something doesn't seem right. I should go back to being human, am I right? As my sight began to clear up, I began to notice a VERY distinct lack of hands on my arms. In fact, they looked more like hooves! What the fuck?! NO! I just got out of this rock, and I can't even get my original body back?! Just my goddamn luck.
After that flashy resurrection in this new body, I was both overjoyed and seriously depressed. For one, the lack of hands was gonna be a major issue, and I'd have to learn how to walk all over again in this tiny horse body. But on the other hand, I was just overly glad to not be a rock anymore. I doubt that the bastard who put me here in the first place is still alive, so I guess I'll make do with another killing spree. A new life in a new world, what more could a guy ask for?
