The Destiny Propeller

by Zum1UDontNo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Discord, Crossover, Sweetie Belle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Button Mash
Length: 8293

Discord retells the story of how he helped Button Mash save Equestria from an evil spirit and old foe of Discord's, known as Monotony. Button Mash defeats him with a love for video games and a unique fashion sense. It makes sense in context, promise.

Button Mash is the greatest hero in all of Equestria. With limitless courage and enormous strength, he emerged victorious against the final boss and the greatest threat Equestria has ever seen: a Draconequus by the name of Monotony.

Discord is more than happy to retell the story, at a sleepover he's having with some friends. If you don't like his, ahem, unique narrating, a regular version will be posted alongside it.

Contains amounts of ButtonBelle, but it's not the main focus. Don't come here if you're looking for a pure ButtonBelle fic.

The story in its entirety takes place before Crusaders of the Lost Mark. The story told by Discord (the main story) takes place between seasons 2 and 3.

Published 2016-05-10 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-04 01:13:58 UTC

Prologue: The Sleepover

“Quiet.

“If this day could be described in one word, it would be quiet.

“The sky was completely clear, save for a few wispy clouds that the Weather Patrol missed their first time around. The sun was beaming down, not uncomfortably hot, but just enough to remind you of its presence. The blue of the sky was perhaps the purest blue it has been in ages.

“As one pony might say: everything was perfect, cheer was filling up the place | And I saw that everypony had a smile upon their face.

“And it was true.

“This was one of the happiest days in a long time. The Elements were resonating with their bearers, no ponies were going through heartbreak or anger… Even Princess Celestia rose the sun with a spring in her step.

“Truly, this was a perfect day. Absolutely nothing could go wrong, right?

“It was a perfect day… and I intended on keeping it like that.

“For those of you unfamiliar with me (all zero of you), allow me to introduce myself. I am the reason this story exists. I am the savior and/or destroyer of worlds. I am the bringer of fun.

“I am… Discord.”

“Uhh, Discord? We all know it’s you.”

Discord started, looking around. He was in the Crusader’s clubhouse, alongside Apple Bloom, Button Mash, Scootaloo, Spike and Sweetie Belle. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Ah, right. Sorry, Spike. Just got caught up in the story for a second there.”

“Nah, s’fine,” Apple Bloom began. “Ya were jus’ excited to tell it. Ah’ll say, you sure got me wit’ that introDUCKshun, though. Ya really know how ta kick off a-”

Discord cut Apple Bloom off and worriedly exclaimed something he had just realized. “Oh, no no no no no! I have just realized! I can’t tell a story like this; there’s no campfire!”

Sweetie Belle gave him a flat look in response. “Discord. We’re inside. Having a campfire is asking for trouble. Besides, not all sleepover parties need a campfire, you know. ...Unless… Is this going to be a scary story?” She shuddered and leaned into Button, who looked just as worried as she did. Discord smiled at the scene, before continuing.

“I know that, but it still wouldn’t feel right. Here, allow me.” The gloved hand on his tail snapped, and suddenly there was a raging bonfire in the centre of the clubhouse. Everypony present (except Button, who merely stared in shock, and Spike, who wasn’t scared of fire) screamed. Amidst all the panic, nopony noticed that the fire gave off no heat, or that Discord was sitting on the fire as if it were a solid object. “Alright, everypony. Calm down. I assure, this fi-”

“WATER, GROUND OR ROCK!” Button yelled at the top of his lungs. “WE NEED ONE OF THOSE THINGS TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!”

“Yes, very clever Button, but you see-”

“I’VE GOT IT I’VE GOT IT!” Scootaloo ran toward the fire and rapidly began flapping her wings, trying to blow out the fire. Needless to say, it didn’t work.

“Quite valiant of you, Scootaloo, but-”

BANG! “WHAT IN THE HAY IS GO- WHY IS THERE A FIRE IN THE CLUBHOUSE!?” Applejack barged in, first yelling about the racket and then yelling about the fire. “DISCORD, AH TOLD YA, YA CIN ONLY STAY HERE IF YER ON YER BEST BEHAVIOR! SETTING TH’ CLUBHOUSE ON FIRE AIN’T YER BEST BEHAVIOR!”

“ENOUGH!” Everypony stopped their panicking and looked over at Discord, who was wearing the most irritated face imaginable. More than that, even. “How can none of you see that this fire is not a fire?!”

Everypony looked confused at that. Apple Bloom tentatively stuck her hoof into the fire, then her whole head. Applejack called out to her, but was surprised to see her completely unharmed.

“He’s telling th’ truth, y’all. This fire ain’t a real fire, it’s an illu-shine.”

“Illusion.”

“What are ya, a dictionary?”

Discord breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Applejack. “See? I was never doing anything wrong. Why, I wouldn’t dream of it! They invited me to their sleepover, and I won’t betray their trust!”

Applejack squinted at Discord, then sat down. “Alrighty, then. Prove it,” she drawled.

Discord looked at her, a question mark in comic sans appearing over his head. “Prove what?”

Applejack smirked. “Prove to me that you were on your best behavior, by doing what you were gonna do before I came in.”

Discord smirked right back, then laughed. After a few moments, he explained. “I was busy setting up the mood for the story. No story is complete without a fire. ...And no, Sweetie Belle. It won’t be a scary story. You can keep leaning into Button if you want, though.”

Sweetie Belle and Button both breathed a sigh of relief, before looking at each other. It was only after a few seconds that they realized how close they were, and they quickly scooched apart, faces burning.

Discord, while amused by the embarrassment they shared, was slightly disappointed in their separation. “Oh, come now. I said you could keep leaning into him if you wanted to.” Around them, reactions were varied. Sweetie Belle’s face was as red as Apple Bloom’s mane. Apple Bloom herself was trying to hold back giggles, alongside Applejack. Scootaloo had long since given up the battle and was lying on her back, laughing hysterically. Button’s face was a mixture of mortification, fear and a strange kind of hope. Spike was busy stuffing both claws in his mouth to keep his mirth back.

Once they had gotten over their embarrassment, Sweetie and Button glared at Discord. Discord smiled sweetly and spoke even sweeter, like a voice of poisoned honey. “You can’t blame me for teasing you. I mean, it’s so obvious that you’re both madly in love with each other-” they both flinched at that, their faces shining a brighter red than ever before- “and I’m just doing my part to help. ...Oh, dearest me. Did I happen to say that out loud?”

Once her throat worked again, the white unicorn squeaked out, “Y-you don’t know that! You’re the Spirit of Chaos, n-not love!”

Discord chuckled to himself, albeit a little quieter and more forced than normal. He paused a small amount before saying, “Ah, my little pony. Sure, I don’t have Ukuthatheka’s powers of romance, but I know love when I see it.” He stopped as he saw everypony except Spike looking at him in confusion, and elaborated. “Ukuthatheka, just so you know, is my cousin, the Spirit of Love and Lust. She’s more commonly known as her preferred name, Attraction.”

Spike continued for him. “Ukuthatheka, or Attraction, is a fellow Draconequus. There are multiple Draconequus, but they all have two things in common; their born name is much more complex than their preferred name, and they’re all the spirit of something good and something bad. From what I recall, Discord here represents both Fun and Chaos.”

“You’re quite right on that one, Spike. I prefer to go by Spirit of Chaos, since Spirit of Fun is rather cheesy, and not quite detailed enough. ...For those of you wondering, my born name is Sokwahlukana. Have fun remembering that.”

Applejack let out a low whistle. “Whoa, Nellie… Wasn’t expecting that one. ...So, uh… What happened to this Uk… Uku… ...Attraction?”

Discord suddenly frowned and looked away. When he spoke next, his voice was low and hollow. “...Ukuthatheka was an amazing Draconequus, and always my favorite. She was the closest thing to a friend I ever had… And if I hadn’t been so shy back then, I would have been able to tell her…” He sighed loudly. “Her powers of romantic observation didn’t work on other Draconequus, so she wouldn’t know unless I told her... Now it’s too late. Ever since then, I’ve tried pushing her memory to the back of my head. Just thinking about her is painful… Not just her loss, but the knowledge that I missed my only chance to… to...” He closed his eyes and turned away.

Everypony in the room went deathly silent, the dropping tears of a Draconequus being the only sound. It was as if a switch was suddenly thrown, and they realized Discord had lost a lot more than they knew. And the whole time, she never knew…

Button got up and wrapped his forearms around Discord’s leg. Opening his eyes in surprise, he looked down with a questioning glance, although he made no motion to remove Button. Button simply leaned into Discord’s body, as if his presence there could help, could somehow cure the mixmatched creature’s mixmatched heart, or at least help it to beat again.

Which it did.

Everypony else got up and crowded around Discord, communicating their emotions without words. He knew they were sorry for him, and they knew he knew. The fact that ponies other than Fluttershy were showing such emotion for him was almost too much for him to take. He sniffed, and whispered a quiet “thank you.” Two simple words, but they held so much meaning. For the first time in a very long time, he felt completely at peace.

Eventually, they stepped away. Discord sniffed again, and a scrapbook appeared. Sorting through it, Discord spoke again: “As far as I know, she was the only Draconequus who suffered this fate. All the others were fine… unfortunately.

“You see, not all Draconequus were good. I’m sure you know that; I was quite the bad apple myself. I’m sure you’re appreciate the analogy… But, one Draconequus stood out to me as the worst. It may have been simple rivalry, but I remembered him as pure evil. His name, both born and preferred… is Monotony.”

Button gasped and jumped up, smiling and shouting. “Ooh, ooh! I know him! That’s the guy I defeated and saved the world from!”

Everypony was, quite understandably, rather surprised by this information. Button had saved the world from somepony? Discord and Sweetie Belle were the only ones who didn’t react in shock. Discord laughed for a few seconds before clearing his throat; Sweetie Belle just smiled and started to lean into Button, but then looked at Discord and decided against it.

“No, Button’s not lying,” he assured everypony. “He really did save the world from Monotony. That’s actually the story I wanted to te- oh, goodness me! I completely forgot about why we were here! The story!

“Okay, enough time has wasted, the fire- I can’t believe that caused all this- is ready, and everypony is present. You can listen if you want, Applejack. Now, I’ll begin. This story took place back before I was reformed. In fact, I was still a statue. No questions, Apple Bloom, I’ll explain. Now, like I said, it happens while I was a statue. As you also know, it involves Button Mash. I suppose I chose him because, well… Button, you reminded me of myself.” Discord raised a paw to Button’s mouth to block a question. “Admit it, Button. You’re fun. You don’t really care what others think of you. You do what you do because it’s what you want to do, and because it’s what you think/know is best. Asides from the obvious physical differences and your lack of desire to conquer all of Equestria, you're really quite similar to me. How fortunate for you.

“Anyway, I chose you because of these reasons, and for one more reason; your passion. You loved video games, and still do, in fact. That’s a powerful passion. I knew it would be good for what I had in mind.”

Scootaloo was getting annoyed by Discord’s rambling, sidetracking and stalling. She decided to cut straight to the chase. “Discord, stop rambling, sidetracking and stalling and just cut straight to the chase!”

Discord laughed, and happily obliged. “Of course, my mistake. Now, I was a statue, so I asked somepony close to me to help out. Screwball. A creature of pure chaos; my finest creation.

“Just so you know, she’s pinkish, with a purple and white mane, and vortex swirly eyes. The important thing, however, is what she wore on her head. The Destiny Propellor. A propellor beanie, a chaotic device of my own creation. It takes a pony's passion and special talent, and manifests it into reality. It’s sort of like a unicorn’s horn for non-unicorns. Screwball already had a bunch of chaos magic in her, so the beanie only increased her power. Because of this, I was able to have her remove it to give it to another, while still allowing her to keep her powers.

“This was important for my plan. I needed to give that beanie to somepony, so they could do what I cannot and save Equestria while letting Screwball follow them, to make sure they don’t abuse their power.

“But who? If I gave it to one with dark intentions, such as Trixie or Diamond Tiara, they would abuse its power and I would be forced to have Screwball take it back. If I gave it to one of the Princesses or one of the Elements, I would be helping a former enemy. If I gave it to a pony with a… Let’s say “weaker” passion, like Donut Joe, it would go to waste. Even if I found a pony who was none of these things, they could easily refuse to wear the beanie on fashion grounds. I needed somepony who would be both worthy and willing. Button Mash was the best candidate, what with his good heart, strong passion and, let’s say ‘accepting’ fashion sense.

“Alright, now all the exposition’s out of the way! The story itself. Button, I know you and Sweetie already know most of this… but bear with me. I’m sure the others are also willing to hear it. Now, here we go. This is how Button Mash saved Equestria from Monotony..."

Author's Note

...And here it is! My very first fanfiction ever. Now, a few things I want to clear up.

First, this is a ButtonBelle fic, but that's not the main focus. If you're looking for something major, you won't find it here.

Second, this is a story being told by Discord, so expect some... 'unique' narrating. If you don't like it, versions of the chapter without his brand of cheeky storytelling will be posted alongside.

Finally, if you were wondering about the names for Discord and Affection... Just take a quick visit to Google Translate. The answer will be simpler than you think.

If you have any feedback, please tell me; it would help me a lot to grow. Thanks for reading, see you soon!

Chapter 1: Meet the Button (Normal)

Quiet.

If this day could be described in one word, it would be quiet.

The sky was completely clear, save for a few wispy clouds that the Weather Patrol missed their first time around. The sun was beaming down, not uncomfortably hot, but just enough to remind you of its presence. The blue of the sky was perhaps the purest blue it has been in ages.

As one pony might say: everything was perfect, cheer was filling up the place | And I saw that everypony had a smile upon their face.

And it was true.

This was one of the happiest days in a long time. The Elements were resonating with their bearers, no ponies were going through heartbreak or anger… Even Princess Celestia rose the sun with a spring in her step.

Truly, this was a perfect day. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?

"ZEYKAMIFF!!"

Wrong.

Button Mash, soon-to-be savior of Equestria, was busy slamming his head into an old arcade machine. 'PAC-MARE' was shown on the top of the screen, and the word 'READY!' flashed around the middle. There were four extra life signs at the bottom left of the screen. He slammed his head on the machine again and yelled out, to nopony in particular, tears in his eyes.

"I WAS SO CLOSE! I WAS ON LEVEL 255! TWO LEVELS AWAY!! JUST TWO LEVELS, AND I WOULD HAVE HAD A PERFECT GAME! AGGGHHHHH!!" He unplugged the machine to hard reset it and replugged it in.

"Would you like to play?" a calm female voice asked.

Button sniffed, and quietly whispered "uh huh." He slipped another bit into the game and started back up. There was about 20 foals behind him and a few full-grown mares and stallions too, although none of them objected at Button playing again. When Button wanted to get a high score, you did not get in his way. Not only would you see his well-practiced pouty face, but you would have to live with the knowledge that you had blocked history. That's what Button was in the Ponyville gaming community: living history. And it was an honor to watch it unfold before them.

Like all examples of history, it took a few tries to get right. Button had been trying for... Let's just say more than a 'few' times. To be specific, he had been trying to get a perfect game for about two weeks now, with an average of 10 hours per day, 2-3 hours per attempt. Maybe 4 and a half hours if he had a good run. He had to grab every single fruit that spawned, eat all four ghosts with every Power Pellet available (until the point where they no longer turned blue), and only then collect all the regular pellets to move on to the next level. If he lost a single life, he would lose his chance at a perfect score. His goal was three million, three hundred thirty three thousand, three hundred and sixty points. The highest you could ever get. Perfection in the gaming community. And he wasn't settling for any lower than perfection.

Adjusting his signature propeller beanie, he put on his game face once more and settled himself down to a comfortable position. He was gonna be there a while, but he felt confident. This is the one. I'm really feeling it this time... I'm not stopping for anything. It's time to finish what I started.

Four hours later.

Level 256.

He had almost made it. The crowd had stuck with him, and everypony was holding their breath in anticipation.

Collect every pellet on the left side.

3,332,820 points.

Collect the nine invisible pellets on the glitched right side. He had their locations memorized.

3,332,910 points.

Once he did that, he just had to commit Pacicide.

Run into a ghost and respawn.

4 lives left.

Collect the nine pellets on the right side again, which respawned upon death for whatever reason.

3,333,000 points.

Run into a ghost again.

3 lives left.

3,333,090 points.

2 lives left.

3,333,180 points.

1 life left.

3,333,270 points.

No extra lives; final stretch.

Button could feel it. Everything he had fought for, was about to come true.

9 more pellets. 9 more, and he would become a legend.

8 more pellets. 3,333,280 points.

Nothing could stand in his way.

7 more pellets. 3,333,290 points.

Everything was as it should be.

6 more pellets. 3,333,300 points.

He could hear his victory theme already; an impromptu symphony of background noises, cheering him on.

5 more pellets. 3,333,310 points.

A bird was chirping.

The wind blew gently.

4 more pellets. 3,333,320 points.

The crowd's muffled breaths and coughs.

Pac-Mare eating the pellets needed.

3 more pellets. 3,333,330 points.

The sounds of fillies and colts playing, laughing and crying.

Hang on... crying? ...W-wait, that sounds like...

The sound of the ghosts moving.

2 more pellets. 3,333,340 points.

A filly crying.

The dreaded and familiar call of "blank flank."

The crowd's hushed whispers.

1 more pellet. 3,333,350 points.

A foal crying.

Another ghost moving.

Something hitting the ground.

A lonely blank flank crying.

A chair being pushed back from the ground.

The crowd's confused mumbles.

The sound of Pac-Mare losing her last life.

The crowd's surprised and horrified gasps.

Somepony that used to be him crying.

Button got up, and ran toward the sound of the crying. He knew what he had abandoned, but he didn't care. He could try for the perfect score tomorrow; him losing his progress was just a wound. Wounds healed, but scars didn't. He didn't want anypony to have the same scars he had.

He couldn't say he was entirely surprised at what he saw, but one thing about the scene before him was puzzling.

A filly his age- white coat, kinda floppy light purple mane, she looked a lot like one of his favorite characters- was lying on the ground, quietly whispering "please stop" between tears. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walked around her, obviously enjoying what was going on.

In his experience, Diamond Tiara was always the tamer of the two. Silver Spoon was the one who said everything to him, and Diamond Tiara kind of tagged along and watched, occasionally nodding and mumbling something. She spent most of the time staring at the ground, however. She was always so reluctant to join in on teasing me... Why is she so enthusiastic about this?

"...But really, getting your Cutie Mark should be the last of your worries!"

"At least with your Cutie Mark, you might have at least a chance of finding something later on."

"But what about other ponies? You know being the charity case of that chicken and farmer isn't going to help you later on."

"P-Please... I..."

Why is she being... so mean? That's not the Diamond Tiara I've seen...

"It's amazing your sister even puts up with you."

"I bet she's paid to take care of you, and wouldn't give you a second glance were it not for the bits."

"That actually a good idea for you! Why not go pay somepony to hang out with you?"

If anything, she's even worse than Silver Spoon right now...

"That way you could pretend somepony loves you!"

"No... P-Please..."

"You should go pay Snips and Snails for a visit! I'm sure they could use some extra cash!"

I can't take this anymore...

"Ahahahahaha!"

"LEAVE HER ALONE!!!"

It took Button a few seconds to realize that was his voice.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked up at the sound of his voice. Diamond's eyes widened, if only for a second. Silver Spoon simply smirked.

"Well, well, well!" Silver exclaimed. "It looks like we have another blank flank who's come to save the day. Is this your fillyfriend? Aww, Sweetie Belle's coltfriend has come to save the day! You two are adorable together..."

"Adorably sickening!" Diamond taunted. It was probably the first 'mean' thing she'd said to him. I guess Sweetie just brings out the worst in her... or maybe it has to do with the group Sweetie's in. I know they're not on the best of terms.

Button took a step forward, staring them straight in the eyes. Silver looked indifferent, but Diamond took a step back; whether from disgust or intimidation, Button didn't know. "Listen. I don't care who you are, you do not tease other students for no reason! You don't! If this is the high point of your day, you're disgusting!" Diamond flinched at that. Scowling, Button continued. "Seriously, who died and made you two queens of the world? Even better, who taught you to do these things?!"

Silver surreptitiously stole a sidelong sight at Diamond, who was looking to the side 'casually' and drawing a circle in the dirt with her hoof. She wasn't paying too much attention, and the circle came out more like a deformed heart-shaped tornado with lines protruding from the sides. If Sadness were a pony, that picture would have been her Cutie Mark. She took one look at it, sighed and turned to Silver.

"Let's go, Sil. These two... aren't worth our time."

"Agreed," Silver agreed. They began to walk away, to Button's disappointment.

"Wha- hey! I wasn't finished with my cool speech yet! Come back!" He watched them trot off and sighed. "Tee ni ektum kais..." he muttered in a low and guttural voice, then turned to Sweetie Belle. "Hey, you alright?"

Sweetie nodded, accepting his hoof to help her get up. "Thank you," she whispered.

Button merely sighed. "I know what you went through... Nopony deserves to go through that, and I still don't know what drives ponies to do it."

Sweetie had started to walk away, but stopped when she heard him say that. She turned around, curious. "How do you know about it? Do they tease you too?"

"Somewhat," he admitted, "but it's mostly from my past in Manehatten... And Baltimare... And pretty much every place my family moved to, except Vanhoover." Best place I've lived, asides from maybe here... Nah, this place has Silver Spoon. ...This is the longest I've been in one town without moving, though... It's got that going for it. "Whether you have your Cutie Mark or not, what your favorite hobby is... why do ponies feel the need to bring other ponies down because of it?"

Sweetie Belle nodded, but then stopped. There was something strange about what he just said... Moving, Baltimare, hobby, bringing other ponies down- wait! Hobby! "Why mention your hobby? You wouldn't have any reason to bring it up unless you were teased about it as well..."

"..." I've gotta be careful talking with her... She can catch onto things pretty well.

"So? What is it?"

He could tell she was asking about the hobby. "...Video games."

"What's a video games?"

Button sighed. This was the problem. Everypony he knew, asides from the few rare ponies he met at the video store and at competitions (and those who recognized him somehow; he still didn't understand why he was so famous as a gamer), either didn't know what video games were or assumed they were stupid. But, he figured, this filly deserved an explanation. "You want the long or the short version?" he asked.

"Long version, please."

"Short it is, the- WAIT, WHAT?!" Nopony had ever asked for the long version. Finally, a chance to gush about video games! He was doing a really bad job of holding back his face-breaking smile, but he didn't care. "Okay, it's like this..."

"...So what if your sister can buck every apple off a tree in a single buck? Rainbow Dash can clear the entire sky of all clouds in ten! Seconds! Flat! That's WAAY cooler!"

"No way! Rainbow's nowhere NEAR as cool 's Applejack!"

Sweetie Belle, the other crusaders and Rarity were busy making their way over to the video store, at Sweetie's insistence. She didn't want to admit it, but the idea of video games was rather appealing to her, after the two hour long explanation. It would have been shorter, since she tried to cut him off, but she had backed down when she saw the dejected look in his eyes. Along the way, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo had, as usual, started up one of their friendly arguments. They bantered back and forth a lot, while Sweetie was content to sit on the sidelines and watch everything unfold. However, today she was feeling confident about this argument; moreover, she wanted Scootaloo and Apple Bloom to see the truth.

"You're both wrong!" she interrupted. "Rarity's obviously the coolest! She ca-"

"NO!"

"...She can find any dress," Sweetie continued, not letting her irritation at being cut off show, "in her huge backroom storage in three seconds flat! Twilight said so!"

"Bo-ring! So she can find a dress. How is that in any way cool? And it was Twilight who organized everything in the first place!"

"Cooler than prancing around in the air, destroying condensed water particles! And Rarity's still the one who finds the clothes!"

"*Ahem* So, why are we coming here again, Sweetie Belle?" Rarity desperately wanted to change the subject before she had a hole bored into her chest from Scootaloo's gaze. However, she was more excited to hear of how that colt had defender her honour and knew the subject of these 'video game' thingies would get her talking about him. She was already imagining scenarios between them, the setting sun in the distance, them slowly leaning towards each other...

"Like I said, I just want to at least try a game," her sister said, shaking her out of her trance. "It's the least I can do after he saved me like that. ...No, Rarity, not like that like that." Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. She saw the look Rarity had, which screamed 'my sister has a coltfriend.' She was a hardcore shipper, and you had to stop her before she got on a roll. Apple Bloom got like that sometimes too, but she wasn't anywhere near as bad. At most, she would just give a raised eyebrow and a smirk... a lot like the ones she was wearing now.

"Alright, alright. I won't dwell on that too much." Like hay you won't. You're imagining up FriendFic material as we speak. "And what exactly do you mean by 'a game?'"

"Well... Very long story short, a video game is like watching TV, or reading a book. The only difference is that you can control what happens."

"Should I be worried that I don't know what you mean by 'TV?'"

"Big box with a flat-ish screen. The screen makes colors and the box makes sounds."

"Ah, okay. Carry on."

Sweetie shook her head at how Rarity accepted this explanation, and how she didn't know what TV was in the first place. How did she end up with a sister like this? There's a TV in the living room, for Celestia's sake! Did she really go through her entire life thinking that was a black mirror or something?

"Anyway, it's your job to make sure things work out as they should. Your job to rescue the princess, your job to make it to the league, your job to prevent Mr. Big the weird leaf-loving fillynapper from blowing up Equestria with a death laser from the moon with magical dance moves... Yeah, that one's pretty out there. Basically, you're the hero and you're the one in control."

She finished her explanation neatly right as they walked in, the bell chiming as they entered. Rarity was somewhat disappointed that the conversation didn't get to turn to the colt, but she shrugged it off. Another time.

"Ooh, Pony Hawk! He has a video game!" Scootaloo excitedly shouted, rushing over. All the regulars at the store rolled their eyes at this; every good gamer knew that Pony Hawk was a fictional character and some deadbeat just changed their name to Pony Hawk to ride off the game's glory. There really ought to be a copyright law against that or something.

"Ah'm not quite sure Ah like the idea of this 'ne," Apple Bloom said, holding a copy of the new Call of Cutie game. "It kinda makes Cutie Marks look like a bad thing. And what're those... stick thingies those ponies are holding anyway?" All the regulars facehoofed; she really was a newbie.

Sweetie Belle opted to say nothing, not wanting to draw attention to herself. Most of the regulars shook their heads at this in disappointment; she had such a perfect cosplay of Treblemaker, but she had the act all wrong. Everypony knew Treblemaker was a motormouth, or at least always humming.

Eventually, Sweetie Belle found something that caught her attention, in a display case. 'Super Smash Bronies Brawl' for the Neightendo JoyToy. Of all the games there, it was the most intriguing to her. It was one of the newer games, so she was lucky it was still in stock. She carefully picked it up in her mouth and carried it over to Rarity.

"What do you have here, darling?" Rarity asked. She picked up the game with her magic and looked at it. When she saw it, her muzzle instinctively scrunched up. "Oh dear, this looks rather... violent. Do you maybe want to... Er..." She faltered in her words, shrinking under the withering gazes of every regular (and Scootaloo) at the word 'violent.' Nopony there liked that word; for employees, it was the word that killed sales, and for gamers, it was the word that killed other gamers. Scootaloo just didn't like the idea of Rarity not thinking ponies punching each other in the face wasn't cool.

Pretty much the only pony who didn't react was Sweetie Belle, since she was already on the other side of the store. She picked out a small box labeled 'JoyBoy,' trotted over to Rarity, took the game back and made her way to the cashier. She placed the game and the handheld on the counter and looked at the cashier, a grey unicorn stallion with a coat, a pair of sunglasses and an uninterested facial expression. He looked over the offering, and scanned the game. He was about to scan the handheld Sweetie brought when something stopped him.

Ringing in the famous 1-up chime that it only did for him, Button Mash stepped into the store. All the regulars immediately stopped their conversations and turned to look at him. Rarity also turned to see him as well, but more out of curiosity than anything. The cashier immediately straightened his back and moved the scanner away from the packaged JoyBoy, grinning sheepishly.

Well, he thought. It happened again. Why does everypony stop whenever I enter? Do they expect me to be all cool and mysterious and stuff? ...Well, hate to disappoint them. But there is one thing I really have to say...

Without saying a word, Button walked up to the cashier, looked at what was on it and placed a bag of bits on the counter. He then turned around and got a big box labeled "JoyToy + SSBB Pack" from the shelf, pushing it over. Even for an Earth pony, JoyToys were heavy. Plus, Button wasn't the most 'fit' colt in Equestria. He was too busy stewing to think about the weight, however. I can't believe him... Taking advantage of new blood like that.

"You've gotta be careful," he said seriously to Sweetie Belle, without looking at her. "That game's for the JoyToy. You tried to get a JoyBoy. Two different things. Confusing, I know. Point is, Nylon Tights here-"

"I've told you," the cashier interrupted, "the name's Neon L-"

"NO." Button let the words drop out of his mouth. "You almost just scammed a new gamer. Not only is that morally unjust, this despicable act would have turned her away from the gaming scene and caused her to spread negative things about it, thus vastly hurting us in the long run. When you do things like that, you do NOT get real name privileges, Nylon. ...As I was saying, he would have scammed you. He's not above that. Amazing he hasn't lost his job yet." All the regulars in the shop started booing him.

Button ignored them and continued talking, still staring at the games. "There are exactly 115 bits in that bag. Exactly enough for the JoyToy and Brawl wombo combo. Don't ask how." If they knew I had a 'Button Sense,' I'd NEVER hear the end of the conspiracy theories about me and Pinkie. I've had more than enough of those to last me a lifetime... Eurgh. For the first time since he stepped in, Button actually looked Sweetie in the eyes. "I can see it in you; you have potential. Don't let anything stop you, be it bedtimes, thunderstorms or jerkish cashiers. *Ahem* Good luck, Sweetie Belle."

With that, he trotted out, not saying other word. The chime played the classic game over sound when he left, as if disappointed about him leaving. He walked away, not paying attention to the ruckus behind him in the store where all the regulars crowded around Sweetie Belle and started excitedly talking about how the legendary Button Mash had actually spoke to her.

A pair of eyes, spinning in a way that eyes were decidedly not supposed to spin, watched Button from a nearby bush. She had watched him generously pay for the fillies game himself, and watched him defend her from Neon Lights and his scams, fighting for honesty. Her mind flashed back to him loyally defending her from the two local bullies, even though he had never met her. A little further back, and she saw him playing Pac-Mare. She noted the firey determination in his eyes, mixed with the laughter he felt inside from what he enjoyed most... And then his kindness give it up to help somepony in need. There was no doubt about it; he was the one.

Nodding in reassurance to herself, the Earth pony floated up, traveling toward Canterlot to tell her father of the news. Equestria's newest hero had been chosen.

Author's Note

And so it begins...

Again, this takes place before Season 3, so Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are still massive plots. To be honest, it's kind of fun writing them. Not because I enjoy them bullying others, but because I enjoy them (and jerkish characters in general) getting their comeuppance.

In case you were wondering, Button got mad at the beginning because he lost a single life. I know it was stressed a lot that losing a single life meant terrible things, but not everyone is game savvy enough to know that 5 extra lives is the maximum.

Speaking of game savvy and technology savvy in general, Rarity is the exact opposite of that. You always need at least one character who doesn't understand the appeal in these newfangled beep-bop machines.

I opted to start at where Button initially met Sweetie; the adventure doesn't begin much later, and a few details of their meeting are pretty important.

One more thing: "Tee ni ektum kais" is Humgonian for "I will slay you, she-devils."

As always (or as of right now, since this is my first story), thanks for reading, and see you next chapter! (Next chapter will be Discord's narrative of these events!)

Chapter 1: Meet the Button (Discord)

Quiet.

If this day could be described in one word, it would be quiet.

The sky was completely clear, save for a few wispy clouds that the Weather Patrol missed their first time around. The sun was beaming down, not uncomfortably hot, but just enough to remind you of its presence. The blue of the sky was perhaps the purest blue it has been in ages.

As one pony might say: everything was perfect, cheer was filling up the place | And I saw that everypony had a smile upon their face.

And it was true.

This was one of the happiest days in a long time. The Elements were resonating with their bearers, no ponies were going through heartbreak or anger… Even Princess Celestia rose the sun with a spring in her step.

Truly, this was a perfect day. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?

It was a perfect day… and I intended on keeping it like that.

For those of you unfamiliar with me (all zero of you), allow me to introduce myself. I am the reason this story exists. I am the savior and/or destroyer of worlds. I am the bringer of fun.

I am… Discord.

...Hmm. Perhaps my introduction gave you the wrong idea. I'm NOT a good guy. Well, I wasn't a good guy, at this time. Technically I couldn't be any guy, since I was encased in stone. Perhaps I could be that one guy that everyone takes for granite, if I truly wanted to be. In fact, I accept. The title is mine. Hey, don't look at me like I've hit rock bottom! You have to admit, these puns are igneous!

"Discord, jus' stop. Yer puns are bad and ya should feel bad."

Right, right, I apologize. I need to focus before all my memory of the story erodes away! ...Okay, I'm done. Now, as I said, I was encased in stone. So, all of this story is from what Screwball told me. She might have missed a few details here and there, and perhaps deliberately withheld others, but I'm sure it won't change the story too much. Button? Sweetie? If I make any mistakes, be sure to correct me, hmm? Very good.

So, from what I was told, it was a beautiful day out. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and kids like Button were torturing themselves trying to get a perfect score on Pac-Mare. Fun times. Anyway, Button had quite the crowd watching. I understand you're quite the hero in the gaming community... Even more so now that these rumors of you saving the world with video games came out. Yes, rumors. They don't know for sure yet. If I wasn't a part of this, I would say it seems unlikely and they shouldn't believe it. ...Then again, this is Equestria. Epic quests and monster attacks are just Tuesdays.

For those of you who don't know, to get a perfect score in Pac-Mare, you have to get every fruit and/or key, eat every ghost with every Power Pellet you get, and then eat every pellet on screen. If you get hit once, you're done. Out. It's incredibly evil and cruel. I'm so proud of the developers. Anyway, continue this stratagem for 255 levels. Then, on the 256th level, the right side will be glitched. Eat all the pellets on the left, and all the glitched pellets on the right. All nine of them, scattered in different places. If you don't know where they are, good luck. After that, run into a ghost. No, I'm not kidding. Doing that will cause you to respawn and for some reason reload all the pellets on the right side. Keep doing this until you run out of lives. If you end with a score of 3,333,360, you did it right.

Of course, if you get hit once, you have to scream really loudly, bang your head against the game and unplug the machine. These are all absolutely required in the Button Mash Perfect Pac Regime. ...What? Don't look at me like that! You do it every time you get hit, so I assumed it was required.

On the subject of getting hit, it didn't happen next game. Yep, he got to level 256. Honestly, once you get there, you pretty much win. Half of the ghosts will be bumbling around on the right side, not knowing where to go or what to do. They were never coded with the glitch in mind. Then, move around the right side and get the nine glitch pellets. A pretty easy task, if you know where they are. Rinse and repeat. Easy. Seriously, the only way he could lose at this point was if he purposefully stopped before he got the final pellet to save a complete stranger from a group of bullies.

...Needless to say, he lost. 3,333,350. That was painful to learn. Although, I suppose it was for a good reason. I'd do the same if Fluttershy were cornered by a group of Diamond Dogs or anything like that.

This was actually how Button met Sweetie, you know. Came to her aid like a knight in shining armor. ...Well, more like an assassin with a tongue of blade. Seriously, Button. Those things you said? They hurt me, and they were addressed to somepony else and I was hearing it from proxy!

Oh, right. Who he was saving Sweetie from. *Ahem* Button saved Sweetie from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. They were doing their little 'oh, I'm so cool and I'm walking circles around you' schtick. Although, they were taking a much different approach than usual. Instead of focusing on her Cutie Mark (or lack thereof), they were looking at personal matters. More importantly, love.

Now, by 'love' I don't mean just romance. I mean the bonds between ponies. Romantic love, platonic love, familial love... Those things. They actually had the nerve to call her the 'charity case' of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, or 'that farmer and that chicken.' Th-

"SHE CALLED ME A CHICKEN AGAIN!? LEAD ME TO HER, I'M MAKING DIAMOND SOUP TONIGHT!"

Scootaloo, I can understand you being angry, but this was in the past. Plus, it's nowhere near the first time she did it. If you asked her why she called you a chicken that one time, she'll say you have to be a little more specific.

So, there they were. Making fun of Sweetie Belle, making her cry, telling her her sister is probably paid by her parents to spend time with her, suggesting she pay Snips and Snails to hang out with her... And then Button Mash happened.

No, really. That's the best way to describe it. Button came up and told them off, and they left. I think he said something along the lines of "who died and made you queens of the world?" Ouch. Well done, but still ouch. To be honest, it's probably best that they turned tails and ran before Button was finished. You were savage, seriously.

Anyway, he muttered "I will slay you, she-devils" in Humgonian- don't look at me like that, Button; of course I know Humgonian, I invented Humgonian- and helped Sweetie up. They had a nice and completely uneventful conversation which ended in Button giving Sweetie Belle a two hour lecture on all things video game, from the origin, to the internal circuity, to how most games are made by unicorns and the ones by Earth ponies are generally lower-budget but not lower-quality, to the hottest games out today, blah blah de blah. I'm surprised Sweetie's ears didn't fall off.

Once he was finally finished, she ran off and dragged her sister and the rest of you- not you, Spike and Button, I mean the other Crusaders- to the store. On the way, I believe there was a certain argument about who was the coolest pony in Ponyville, hmm? Naughty fillies, arguing between Rainbow and Applejack. Fluttershy is obviously best pony.

Anyway, once they arrived, Sweetie Belle immediately beelined for... Was it Super Bash Pegasisters Brawl?

"...That was an intentional reference, wasn't it?"

Of course it was, Button. What do you take me for, a filthy casual? I know it was Smash Bronies. ...*Ahem* Back to the story. She was about to purchase it and a JoyBoy, but Button saved her again. This time, from a potential scam. Neon Lights, the new cashier, would have taken the game and the JoyBoy, even though he knew Brawl was for the JoyToy. Thankfully, Button called him out on it. He then paid for her game and saved a bunch of bits in the process, by getting the combo instead of purchasing everything individually. Now, I could tell you how he knew... But I won't. You're welcome, Button.

After that, he left and, well, all chaos descended on poor Sweetie Belle. Turns out the ponies at the store are quite the fanbase of his, and they wanted to ask Sweetie Belle how she got him to pay attention to her. I'll explain that later. For now, all that mattered was that he had left the store.

Meanwhile... A pair of eyes, spinning in a way that eyes were decidedly not supposed to spin, watched Button from a nearby bush. She had watched him generously pay for the fillies game himself, and watched him defend her from Neon Lights and his scams, fighting for honesty. Her mind flashed back to him loyally defending her from the two local bullies, even though he had never met her. A little further back, and she saw him playing Pac-Mare. She noted the firey determination in his eyes, mixed with the laughter he felt inside from what he enjoyed most... And then his kindness give it up to help somepony in need. There was no doubt about it; he was the one.

"Uhh, Discord? What's with the spooky voice?"

Oh, don't worry. I just want to drum up the tension a bit. After all, this is the part where the story begins to become worthy of an Adventure tag! Up until now, it's just been a Slife of Life, and I don't see a tag for that, now do I?

"Yer startin' to sound like Pinkie, Discord. Might wanna get that checked out. Jus' sayin'."

Oh, nonsense. Nothing wrong with a little pink every now and then. Now, where was I...? Ah, yes. *Ahem*

Nodding in reassurance to herself, the Earth pony floated up, traveling toward Canterlot to tell me of the news. Equestria's newest hero had been chosen.

Author's Note

Okay, I have to admit; writing Discord is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Still fun, but hard.

I chose to use the quotes in the main story to show when other characters are interrupting. Their input might add a bit to the story.

Yes, Discord will miss a few details. Remember, by the end of the story, his version is what the rest of the CMC, Applejack and Spike will know. He's telling the story; you're just seeing it with your omnipotent brony powers.

Also, he's not going to go into very much detail on the "boring" parts, so expect for there to be a few things completely skipped over in his version. Don't worry, he won't skip anything too plot important. He knows the importance of Chekhoof's Gun as well.

As always, see you next time! (Next up, Button and Sweetie's first ~~date~~ non-date and an important discovery, which will impact the next parts of Button's life... Yeah, we all know what he's getting next chapter.)