Why Don't They Love Me?

by Bonified_Ponified_Tracer

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Anthro, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tragedy
Length: 4844

A heart touching story of a filly who never thought she'd ever get adopted

Aiko Heart, a sweet eight year old girl, loses her grandmother, her only caretaker, to a horrific car crash. by miracle she managed to survive, but what was pulled from that wreck was something totally different.
Now as an orphan, in a new body, all she wants is to be loved. Being different can't really be all that bad...right?
(Note: I didn't mean to add this to the willing transformations in the transformation group)

Published 2016-05-31 05:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-31 05:00:01 UTC

Only Wanting to be Loved

A bearded man in a grey suit sat solemnly at the edge of the slightly cold hospital bed, gazing down with pity upon the patient before him. "What can you tell me about the crash, Aiko?" he asks, adjusting himself to sit more comfortably.

The patient; a little girl stare at the small brown teddy bear in her hands, a slight tear in the neck and a button for one of the eyes in her hands. Her injuries made it hard to remember most details as she tried to piece last month's mishap together.

"I-it happened so fast..." she mumbled, avoiding looking at the man as his presence made her feel rather uneasy. "We were just going for a drive through the country roads, past corn feilds and farms. Grandma always took me out every saturday to just take a long drive and talk about things."

Aiko turned her head down, shutting her eyes tight, few scenes from the crash still fresh in her mind to go along with the pain, making her feel as if she were still there, crying for help.

"W-we got lost and soon the sun started to come down. There were hardly any street lamps, so it was dark wherever we went. All of a sudden, a bright light came from directly aghead as a car came around the corner. Much too quickly as it honked it's horn to try and avoid us, but it was too late. We hit and my head hit the dashboard, knocking me out cold. When I woke up, I was in the road, and I was bleeding. The car was on fire about ten yards away from me, in the ditch."

The man made several nods, taking an understanding to each point of interest.

"Where was your grandmother?"

Aiko sighed. "Still in the...the car as it lay upside down. I heard she was calling out to me, but my head was pounding and ringing. I could hardly hear her over the crackling flames."

Aiko gently rubbed the cheek of her bear, a small heart knitted into said cheek.

The man once again nodded. "Anything else you can remember?"

Aiko nods. "I blacked out again, but when I woke up, grandma was holding me so she must have gotten out of the car, but her clothes were covered in blood and her skin burned badly. An ambulance came and could only take one person. Where the other driver was, I don't know, but grandma made me go, so the paramedics took me. Last thing she said to me was that she loves me and told me to be strong."

The man lets out a sigh, rubbing his beard. "I know it must be hard to have to remember that...but..."

"Is grandma okay?"

With another, heavier sigh, the man removes hit hat with a shake of his head. "Out of four people, you're the only survivor. I'm sorry to have to tell you this."

Aiko blinked. For a few seconds she sat there in silence until her fuzzy brain finally registered the fact her only caretaker was gone. Her mouth quivered a bit, her eyes watering up. "You-you're lying...she can't be..."

"I'm sorry, Aiko."

Aiko curled up and pulled her legs to her chest and her cries of mourning began.

"I'll...leave you alone now," said the man before he gets up to leave. He says his apologies once more before leaving Aiko alone in the cold hospital room.

This was it now.

She was alone.

Her family had all but gone, her mother dead, father in jail, and the recent passing of her grandmother. She hadn't a single friend to play with, or clothes of her own even, just a silly hospital gown to cover her equine body. The crash had changed her. Mishaped her. Her light bright pink tail curled itself protectively around her, her ears splayed back against her head. Her new pearl white fur coat was the only thing keeping her warm now. The changed left her looking like a humanoid version of a filly from a little girls cartoon: My Little Pony.

She was never much for the show, but the two characters; Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo intrigued her. She was never much for anything for that matter.

She cried for what seemed like forever, and for the first time, grandma wasn't there to hold her, to tell her she'd be okay, to tell her she loved her. Tears slipped down her muzzle before dripping down onto the pillow, soaking the thin material.

After she had finished crying, she laid there, hoping this was all a big nightmare, but the pain in her body told her otherwise. Her heart told her she was weak, her mind told her she wanted to give up. For the next few hours she lay, staring out of the window, thinking, hoping, wanting to go home.

With her tears all soaked into her cheeks, she lay motionless, watching the day slowly go by from out of the second story window, where all she could see were passing clouds. She'd take a glance back at her right arm and leg, wrapped in casts, being lucky to have only small fractures that have healed mostly during her three month coma. If it wasn't the crash that killed her, the coma should have finished her off. Anybody would call themselves lucky to survive such a long coma, but the realization of it all made it unbearable for Aiko.

For a moment she stared at her arms and hands, covered in a thin coating of fur. She knew she was different now. She knew she was no longer human. In her mind she was a freak mutant, a monster. The mirror above the sink across the room allowed her a good look of her new face as she took in each new feature. She now had a muzzle, a short one. Two very large eyes, and a fluffy pink mane that partially covered her right eye. Two white pointy ears stuck up and out from said mane, twitching every now and again.

She looked to the tan wooden door, a Van Dyke brown color, imagening her grandmother walking in to see her, but her death made that impossible. Her grandma was the only one she knew, and with her gone...

Alone now, Aiko feels unloved, unwanted, another unknown dying soul, praying to still be loved. There was nobody to wrap their arms around her or hold her hand through her sorrows and pain. Nobody to kiss her boo boo's away. She's lost everything she loved.

The sudden realization of it was a sadness too unbearable for the filly, left her wailing each following night.

Two weeks after making a full recovery, she was put up for adoption.

.For a month she's been there.

Still being enrolled in school, and after a lot of paperwork and discussion, she was allowed back under the same name with the same identity.

She stands alone now on one end of the gym as all the kids picked up thier respective balls. It had always happened this way during every game played in P.E. Especially dodge ball.

Aiko stared down at the ground, holding one arm of her teddy bear, waiting for the balls to fly in her direction. She gave a last attempt of a pleading look to the teacher to call it off, but he only shook his head and blew his whistle.

"Play ball!"

By chance, the first ball struck her right in the face, sending her tumbling to the ground. Tears welled up in her eyes not only from the pain of the impact, but from the roar of laughter from her peers that had caused her this pain as they all hated and picked on her. She lay motionless on the ground, just trying to keep herself together. She held her teddy close, missing the caring arms of her grandmother, but knew that she'd never see her again.

"Why did you have to leave me?" Aiko muttered to herself. "Why..."

"Come on, get up!" the teachers deep voice urged as he attempted to pick her up.

"Don't touch me." Aiko deadpanned, pulling herself away as she stood. She gazed down at the floor, a ball rolled to her hooves.

"Well? Pick it up and throw it!" Yelled an impatient child from the otherside of the gym.

Slowly, Aiko reached down and took the ball in her hands. She knew she didn't have much of a throwing arm, which would make throwing the ball even just ten yards quite difficult. She knew she would never make it which left her contemplating if she should even try, or take her chances and get laughed at. It had been the same everytime they played dodge ball. She'd throw and either completely miss, or the ball would come far short of hitting anybody.

She could feel beads of sweat roll down her face before soaking into her fur, her body trembling, knowing either way she'd get another round of laughter. She stood there for several moments, just staring at the ball, making failed attempts to get her thoughts together. Her tail flicked annoyingly this way and that, her ears twitching every now and again.

"Aiko!" Screamed the teacher, scaring the poor filly from her thoughts, resulting in her to drop the ball as she was scared to falling on her rump. "If you're going to refuse to play, you can go to the office, cause that's where you're going to go if you don't get up in three seconds!"

Aiko shut her eyes as the kids began to laugh again, her heart pounding in her chest as she only wanted to disappear.

"One!"

Her limbs became stiff, unresponive to movement. All of this going on right now was just to much to take. Wishing her grandma back, the laughing of the kids, and now the pressuring coach. It was only a matter of time before she'd find herself crying in the middle of the floor. She wished she didn't have to be here. She wished she were still normal like the other kids who knew how to smile. Like the other kids who still had loving families to go home to. Like the other kids who had someone to be there for them.

Aiko had nothing. Only the remaining fragments left behind of her broken heart, aching to be loved again. To hear those three simple words be said to her once more. But she felt as if nobody would ever love her. Not like this.

"Two!"

The first tear slips from her right eye as she finally managed to get moving. Shakidly she began to stand, but it was too late.

"Aiko, since you refuse to listen, you can go to the office."

Aiko huffed. "But I got up! Have you even taken into consideration what I'm going through right now!?" Aiko gave a shake of her head as she began to make her way to the exit. "Of course you haven't." she said rather bluntly as she passed the teacher.

So from there, she went to the office and earned herself an afterschool detention.

During said detention, she sat in the gym, next to the bleachers, the teacher there to keep watch.

"If you would have listened, you could have been going home, Aiko," he smirked.

"I have no home..." Aiko muttered, staring down at her teddy. "I have no family."

The teacher rolled his eyes and scratched his goatee. "Trying to make me go on a guilt trip huh?"

Aiko doesn't reply, Imagening her grandmother were here, holding her in her arms. It was as close as she could get to feel like she was still loved.

Later on, back at the orphanage, Aiko sat in her new bed, her new home, alone, wishing away the miseries that have been brought upon her. The other kids never played with her. They felt she was a freak, to which the shunned her away and called her names. She felt so wrong, lost still, out of place. As of now, the other children were out in the lobby, hoping to be the next to be adopted. A visitor had come to see who they could take home, but Aiko felt nobody would ever want her, so during these times she'd sneak back to her bed to sit alone with her teddy bear.

She could hear them all laughing and giggling, at least being able to enjoy their humanity which Aiko had all but lost. A tear slipped down her cheek as she turned her head to gaze out the window. The moon shone bright in the clear sky, beautiful stars scattered across the vastness of space.

"I miss you, gram gram." Aiko muttered slightly as somebody came into the room.

"Aiko?" said a voice.

Aiko turned her head back to see who it was. A young woman with aburn hair made into a pony tail, a look of worry on her face.

"Hi, Katie..."

Katie walked over to the bed and sat down next to the young filly. "Why aren't you out there with the others?"

"Who's going to ever want me like this? I'm just a freak!" Aiko whined, tightly gripping her teddy bear.

"But you'll never get adopted if you don't go out there..."

"I was never supposed to be here anyway!" Aiko barked in frustration, the anger she's had bottled up for months, ready to break the seal and be let loose. "If it weren't for that stupid drunken driver, gram gram would still be here! We'd be at home watching t.v or something!"

Katie sighed and pulls Aiko into her lap. "Aiko, I know you're hurt, and I know what that feels like...my parents died too and I've been here since I was six. Nobody ever came saying they wanted to take me home and love me. Now I'm an adult, and It's too late for being adopted, so, I can relate to your pain."

Hearing this, Aiko stared down sadly, flicking her tail left and right as it was the only part of her new body she really liked. That and her fur since she was normally cold, but her fur helped to keep her warm so she enjoyed that as well. But she missed being human. She missed being normal, being loved and having a family, but that had all gone from her life now.

She didn't answer as she gently ran her fingers through her tail, holding the appendage in one arm.

Slowly, Katie began to pet the tail along with Aiko. "I bet your grandma still loves you."

"But she's not here anymore..."

Katie sighed softly. "I know, Aiko. I know."

She began to run her fingers through Aiko's mane ever so gently, feeling sorry for the little girl. "If I had the money, I'd adopt you, but what would even be the point since woking here I get to see you everyday."

Aiko nodded. "I know but nobody else wants me..."

Katie sighs. "Well...let's go see what the visitor will think of you..he seems nice..."

"You say that everytime," Aiko replied in a cold tone as they walked back out into the gathering room where kids could be seen. "Last person called me a monster."

And so, Aiko took a look at the new visitor. He was tall and skinny with short brown hair and glasses over his green eyes. He wore a simply grey striped shirt and khaki pants. He seemed to be losing is balance due to the wide eyed children pilling up at his feet.

Aiko for a moment, looking down at herself, then back up as to compare her looks with the other children. She saw no tails or wings. No fur or hooves. No muzzle or pointy ears or over sized eyes. They were regular human children. She was a freakish human pony mutant in her own eyes. She began to tremble as Katie brought her to the group, and it was only a matter of time the man would notice. Her legs screamed to turn back, but she was too scared to move a muscle.

When the man did take notice of her, she froze, clenching her eyes and fists shut tight.

"Isn't that a cute costume?" He asked, his voice smooth and cheery sounding. It only made Aiko feel worse. Plenty times she heard this. Plenty times she was walked away from after finding out she was what the person would be getting. It was those four words Katie always had to say since she was too scared to admit it that put her on edge.

"It's not a costume."

"What...how could that possibly be?" The man asked, arms across his chest.

Aiko managed to just give a little flick of her tail, and that had been enough. The man stared, jaw slightly dropped.

"Please...it wasn't her fault...she turned into this after barely surviving a car crash..." Katie pleaded.

This was hell for Aiko. Whereas kids would be able to happily walk out with a new mommy or daddy, she had to deal with insults, disapproving head shakes and laughs of disbelief. Not only that, the laughing of the other kids, knowing she'll never get adopted. Aiko knew this too. Older kids never get adopted. Being a "freak" only decreased her one percent chance to zero in her mind.

The man rolled his eyes. "I came to adopt a child, not be told pathetic lies and offered...whatever she is." The man said bluntly. "Sorry, I won't be adopting from here." he said before turning to leave.

That was it for Aiko. Her fuse had finally burnt out.

"I give up!" she shouts, pulling away from Katie. "I'm NEVER getting adopted! That's the twelfth person to come in and ignore me, hurt me, or totally not even care! You keep saying somebody will come but nobody ever will!"

"Aiko..."

By now, tears were streaming down Aiko's cheeks. "No! I'm tired of hoping since all it does is hurt me more! Nobody is ever going to love me again!"

Aiko, in a fit of depression bolted for the door, being slow, they were still more than open enough for her to get through since they were air pushed sliding doors. Katie followed after her, but was too late as Aiko just manged to squeeze through and she was out in the lobby where there were a couple more people, hoping to take a child home. Lucky her, the front door wasn't locked and she ran right out into the night.

Wiping the tears from her eyes as a means of better vision she took off down the sidewalk, pushing past people since it was only early evening, plenty of people were still out and about. She didn't care what they thought right now. She just had to get away. Away from the hell that made her nightmare of a life even worse. She held her teddy in one arm as she ran.

She could hear her name being called from the eldest staff lady as she ran, ignoring the call.

She non stop ran, even through passing traffic, it was a miracle she didn't get hit. Finally, she arrived at her destination, and it has begun to rain slightly. She gazed up at the old gate. The gate entrance to the cemetary where her gram gram had been buried. She didn't even get to go to the funeral. she was still in the hospital in urgent care for her wounds. She was in a coma during said time.

Her mane, fur and tail were quickly beginning to sag as the rain soaked them. She wandered around, searching for her grandmother's gravestone. She was brought here once before to see it, but she forgot exactly where it was. All she could think of now was to be with her gram gram just one more time.

Childhood memories began to go through her mind when she was once happy and full of life and joy. She mentally called herself pathetic for becoming what she is now.

She eventually found the gravestone in a little area to itself in front of a tree with over hanging branches to protect the filly from the rain. Aiko dropped to her knees in front of the gravestone, eying the little rose in front of the plaque stuck in the muddy ground.

"Here Lies Asha Heart," said the words engraved in the stone along with her year of birth and death.

"A woman full of hope and life, caring and kind to others. She will be missed by many, but her love goes on strong as this woman never failed to do so." said the short description.

Aiko teared up at the wording, moving her sagging mane out of her eyes.

"I miss you gram gram," Aiko began. "Everyday I wish my life were a bad dream I'd soon wake up from and you'd be there to hold me again. Only this is reality and I always wake to the sounds of the other orphans sleeping away still in their beds. So many have come and gone during my time there. Only I haven't been adopted yet. I know I won't be. Nobody wants me." Aiko stared down at the ground, feeling she'd let her grandmother down to have to say such negative things.

"As Katie drove me back to the orphanage today, we passed by our house and it seems to be another family has already moved in. It's as if my old life has completely faded without a trace. I didn't even get to keep my humanity. I-if you were here...you'd still love me..."

Aiko rubbed her muzzle as she sniffled. She was shaking from the cold of the rain, the wind blowing at her gently yet freezing. Her teeth began to chatter.

"If only I hadn't of told you to take that dirt road during our drive...you'd still be here...we'd be at home watching tv and eating dinner. I'd still be human and everything would be happy. Because of me...nothing is left of what we had. Just me and look what's even left to be said of me."

Aiko gulped once as a tear slipped from her eye. She never had to say such sad things to her grandmother before, each word making her sadder and more depressed.

"I ran from the orphanage as you can see...I just couldn't take all the rejection anymore! Kids at school all pick on me...visitors make me feel more like nothing. I have nothing. Not even a friend to share jokes with or play with at the park. Why did you have to go!?" Aiko cries, tears flowing once again. "What did I do so wrong to be left here alone like this!? I was a good girl, wasn't I?"

Aiko sat there, letting her pains escape her, crying for her old life, crying and hoping she could feel her grandmother's arms around her once more. She didn't know what else she was to do. She knew nobody that she could ask to take her in for the night. She had no friends, no home to go to, or even somebody to simply tell her things would be alright.

"I just want to be loved again!" She manages to cry out between her sobs. "Why does everybody hate me!? What did I ever do wrong!? Just please...let me kow there's somebody out there who will love me..."

Aiko turned her head down, gazing into the puddle of mud before her, her reflection hardly visible. She began thinking of the past few months she's gone through since waking up in the hospital. Long, lonely days confined to a bed where her injuries inabled her to walk. Each second she begged that her grandmother would come in to hold her, but it never happened. Only various doctors who came to check up on her.

Then her first day at the orphanage. The kids had so many questions, mostly revolving around her tail, large eyes and why she "looks like a sasquatch." It didn't seem too bad at first, at least until she would normally be punches into a corner as the others all chanted insulting names at her. That had only furthered her depression, adding on to the general idea of being a nobody's child.

Then came her first day back at school. It was pretty much the same thing, only multiply the amount of kids by God knows how much. At recess, she'd hide out behind the large tree on the far end of the playground. She felt as if she no longer belonged there. She had a few select friends which she all but avoided, un wanting to hear the same named be called out to her again.

Then each day would repeat. Over and over and over. Each day digging her deeper into her despair. Now adding the fact she's given up on being adopted, assuming nobody would ever want her. She is completely alone, aside from the puddle that copied her reflection. She gazed into it for a moment, once again taking in all the features of her new body. Her face suddenly changed from sad, to infuriated as she slapped a hand across the puddle, sending a great deal of water flying.

"I hate you!!" She yelled, bringing her knees to her chest, holding them close in her arms. She shook and shivered rather violently now from the cold that crawled throughout her body. She shut her eyes tight, her lips puffing up.

"I'm sorry, Gram gram...I give up..."

A sniffle later, she found her self completely breaking down again, alone to wallow in her pain, nobody to help her up again. She's had it. She's fed up. Fed up with everything. For a while she sit there, letting the tears flow freely, knowing in her current situation she wouldn't last long....then it'd finally be over. She hated herself for making such a decision at her age. But to her, it was her only escape. She didn't want it, she doesn't want it, but it was the only way.

Thinking of such things only made her cry harder, mentally apologizing to her grandmother over and over. She felt she just couldn't take the pain anymore, the stinging in her chest has grown too strong.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her back. She let out a loud gasp as she whipped around.

"Aiko...it's okay, it's just me..." said Katie.

Aiko said nothing. She threw herself into her possibly only friend's arms where she finished letting her sorrows out.

Katie held her there in the rain, telling her it will be alright.

"I love you, Aiko...my sweet little girl."

"B-but we're not related..." Aiko muttered, assuming Katie was referring to her as a relative, holding as tightly as she could onto Katie who gave out a soft sigh.

"I know this may be sudden and weird, but you're like a daughter to me," she replied sweetly,holding Aiko close to her, comforting her. "I had a gut feeling you'd run off to here."

Aiko rubbed her muzzle again with a little sniffle. "I wanna go home..."

Katie closed her eyes, running her fingers through Aiko's mane as she began to rock. "I know you do, Aiko."

"B-but I don't have a home..."

Katie smiles. "That's not true."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Aiko asks curiously, gazing up into Katie's hazel eyes.

"I've decided I want to be your mommy. I'm going to adopt you." Katie replies with smile.

Aiko's jaw dropped slightly, breathless and silent, too shocked to speak.

"Would you like that?" Katie asks.

Aiko nods and tightens her hugs around Katie.

"I love you, Aiko. It will be tough at first with money, but a mother provides for her daughter the best she can."

Aiko nods in understanding, smiling. She felt a bit werd about suddenly agreeing to being her friend's daughter, but she was at least happy she was finally getting adopted.

For the first time in a long time, Aiko finally had a reason to smile.

Author's Note

This story is meant to show that even in the roughest of times, things can get much better down the road. It's to show that even though you may be different, or feel left out of everything, there will always be that one person who treuly cares about you. The names for Aiko and her grandmother I didn't just come up with. Asha is a name that means hope and life. Aiko is a name for love. If you allow hope and love into your life, who knows how happy of a person you'll be to know you can get through anything in life. Be kind to others, don't judge them based on small things that may seem off.

We're all different in our own ways, so how are we any different from one another at all?