Behold, the Princess of Thorns (Also Fainting)

by MidnightDancer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Roseluck, Princess Luna, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia
Length: 2451

Roseluck finds her status elevated after growing a special rose. She's not happy about it.

Everypony knows that Roseluck grows the tastiest roses in Equestria. When a rogue batch has a bit too much Earth pony magic pushed into it, Roseluck finds that she's created a new form of magic!

And we all know what happens next.

Published 2016-05-09 22:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-09 22:30:01 UTC

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Behold, the Princess of Thorns (Also Fainting)
By MidnightDancer

It was dark.

Roseluck came to slowly, her mind pulling itself up through the familiar oatmeal feel of an unplanned dirt nap. Below her, she could feel the smooth coldness of whatever she was laying on, far colder than the warm spring day she had walked out into that morning. The smell of dust and disuse tickled her nostrils, and she flicked an ear, eyes still closed.

Okaaaaaaaaay... I guess I'm not in my garden right now. Deciding to stay put for the moment, she strained her hearing. She could tell from the darkness on the inside of her eyelids that, wherever she was, it wasn't outside in the cheerful sunlight.

So she waited, apprehensive yet not fainting. Yet.

After an indeterminate amount of time, Roseluck's ears twitched, catching the sound of hurried hoofsteps clacking on the floor. They drew closer and closer, and she could also pick up the distinct sound of somepony muttering to themselves. That... sort of sounds like Princess Twilight when she's stressed out.

The hoofsteps came to a halt beside her, and for a moment, all was silent except for the breathing of the pony above her. "It's Roseluck?! Already? I didn't think those were ready yet!" The voice incredulously exclaimed, putting all doubt as to the voice's owner to bed.

"Tw-Twilight?" Roseluck cracked an eye, barely able to see the outline of the pony above her. Getting to her hooves unsteadily, Roseluck blinked hard against the darkness.

"Oh, I'm sorry, let me." Twilight drew a ball of magic to the tip of her horn, muttering, "Let's hope this works," before releasing it. The room was bathed in ethereal white light, the earth pony squinting against it as her eyes adjusted. Twilight whipped her head back and forth before trotting over to a small machine on the floor. Roseluck caught a glimpse of Fogmaster 3000 scrawled across the side of the machine before Twilight kicked it. It stuttered to life, belching out a mist that covered the floor quickly.

Roseluck blinked down at the mist playing around her hooves, before looking up at Twilight. "So... where are we?"

Twilight sat down before her, smiling nervously. "Ah! That. Um." She brought her front hooves up before her, bumping them together in her confusion. "Well... gah, Princess Celestia is so much better at this..." She trailed off, violet eyes finding Rose's green ones. Twilight took a deep breath, letting it out while pushing a foreleg away from her body. "Okay. Alright." She closed her eyes, horn lighting, and a second later there was a distinct pop sound. Twilight hugged her newly teleported note cards to her chest before looking back at Roseluck. "Okay, now I'm ready."

She got to her hooves, smiling uncertainly down at a confused Roseluck as she levitated the cards in front of her. Clearing her throat, Twilight took what she assumed was a more regal stance, gesturing for the Earth pony to stand. "You've tended garden for so many years, Roseluck, and you've brought so much happiness to other ponies with your beautiful and delicious roses."

Roseluck just nodded. "I guess so. It's my special talent." She turned slightly, putting her cutie mark on display. "I was... in the garden earlier, harvesting some roses, and... and then I was here."

Twilight nodded. "Yes! And those roses were packed full of Earth pony magic! More than usual, I mean." A note card spun off into the air, its purpose complete.

Tilting her head, Roseluck blinked. "Um. How could you know that?"

"Uh, Princess of Magic, Roseluck." Twilight pointed to her own cutie mark before shaking her head vigorously. "Anyway! Come on." Her eyes scanned the note card quickly. "Okay. When you planted those roses, you created a whole new kind of Earth pony magic! The roses were ready for harvest faster, and the petals are imbued with a spell that, when eaten, triggers a grow effect on ponies!" Twilight grinned at Roseluck. "It's hard enough for Earth ponies to wield magic as it is, and you managed to inscribe a new spell on the seeds through sheer force of will!"

Roseluck paled. "I didn't... I didn't mean to. Oh Celestia, you're not... here to banish me, are you?" She flinched back from the alicorn, a leg raised in defense. "I... I seriously did not mean to do that."

Twilight nodded. "I know. But you did! And as Celestia taught me, actions have consequences! Don't be so gosh-darn good at something unless you want your body warped and twisted and large amounts of responsibility put in your lap!" She lit her horn, deftly snagging Roseluck in her levitation as she wove the ascension spell.

Panicked, Roseluck pedaled her forelegs uselessly against the magic. "W-What?"

"Cs get degrees," Twilight deadpanned, and Roseluck's world was awash in white as she fainted within the magical grasp.

Coming to this time was much more familiar for the Earth pony, recognizing the warm smell of garden dirt as she swam up to consciousness. She stood, wobbly legged, and planted her hooves firmly in the soil. Roseluck's head was pounding and her entire body ached, and she winced against the sun. What a weird dream. That's what I get for falling asleep in the garden! I wonder if there's a coffee vendor at the Wonderbolts show?

Aching and feeling sun-touched, Roseluck wobbled her way to the show, climbing into the stands. A few ponies gave her strange looks, and she waved to them nervously. Geez, I know I must look bad after sleeping in dirt, but does everypony have to stare? She settled into her seat grumpily, watching the ponies above twist and twirl in formation. A familiar voice pulled her eyes from the sky.

"Roseluck! Hey! Room up there for two more?" Lily and Daisy stood below, waving cheerfully up at their friend.

Roseluck felt a smile finally tug at her mouth, and she nodded, despite the headache. "Yeah! Come on up, girls!"

The other two flower ponies climbed up, engrossed in a chat about Big Mac. "Please, you know he's mooning over that Fluttershy," Daisy sniffed at her friend as she picked carefully across the bleachers.

"I know, but there could maybe be a chance there! Everypony I've talked to says that both of them are single." Lily nodded decisively. "So that means that maybe—" She flinched, cut off by Daisy's high-pitched scream.

"Roseluck! Y-Y-Your w-w-wings!" Daisy managed that once sentence before fainting into the lap of a disgruntled Caramel.

"Wings?" Lily blinked up and noted that, indeed, one of her closest friends had sprouted wings. In addition, Roseluck seemed to be sporting a lovely horn, as well. She wobbled on her hooves, pointing at her confused friend. "Rosy... your horn..." A moment later, and she was out cold as well, flopping into the lap of a green mare.

Roseluck stared down at her friends, and then over to the upset townsponies. Caramel snorted, arching a brow. "Geez, Rose, didn't you tell anypony? You know how these two get."

"I..." Roseluck swallowed hard, reaching a hoof up to her forehead until it stopped suddenly, knocking against a spiraling horn that wasn't there before. Shaking, she stole a quick glance over her shoulder at the large, feathered wings that adorned either shoulder. She turned back, all eyes now upon her. "I didn't... oh no..."

A moment later, she had joined her two friends by passing out in the lap of Derpy Hooves.

The swim up to consciousness was even slower this time. Roseluck stayed in the darkness, but couldn't blot out the sounds finally blowing past her ears. Nor could she ignore the odd stiffness of the sheet that covered her.

"...my point is, what would she even be Princess of?" A calm, serene voice. Roseluck decided, in her half-awake state, that she automatically liked the speaker.

"Princess... of Thorns, perhaps? Mayhap she is destined to use her talent to make us more grand warriors for our armies!" This voice was deeper and more melodic while still being obviously female. Her words slipped like dark water into Roseluck's ears.

"Princess of Fainting, clearly," came a mumble, followed by a sharp, "Ow! Why did you do that, Princess?"

"Because this is nopony's fault but your own." The nice voice spoke again, and Roseluck found herself grasping onto it, dragging herself upwards into the waking world.

"Me? I didn't tell her, hey, Roseluck, make sure to pack some extra Earth pony magic into those roses!" Roseluck's eyes finally opened, showing her the current speaker was Twilight, who was rubbing a forehoof crossly against another. "She did it all on her own, with her own talent." Twilight sat up straighter, still looking towards her mentor. "And thus, she gets," and here, Twilight lifted both forehooves, making air quotes, ""rewarded"."

"I don't think I appreciate your sarcasm, Twilight." Princess Celestia stared down at her ex-student, visage still calm.

"And I don't think I appreciate having body modifications done to me without my consen—" Twilight's rant was cut off by a heavy, pointed cough from Luna, who had caught Roseluck's eyes with her own.

Fully awake, finally, Roseluck's jaw dropped at understanding what she was seeing. "P-Princess Luna? And Princess Celestia? And Princess Twilight?" Her eyes scanned the bickering royalty before her, mouth opening and closing in confusion.

The three royals composed themselves, Luna approaching the hospital bed and placing a hoof on Roseluck's head beside her horn. "How are you doing, my little pony? That was quite a fall you had."

"I... I... I don't know. Why are you all here? Why am I here? Why do I have wings and a h-h-horn?" Breathing deeply, Roseluck bit her lip as the room began to swim again.

Luna dipped her head. "We are here because Princess Twilight summoned us to tell us what transpired today. You are here because you fell when you fainted. Initially, a pegasus caught you, but she was startled by a noise and ended up dropping you off the side of the bleachers. You have wings and a horn because you are now a Princess, because you created new magic." Luna smiled cheerfully into the ever-widening eyes of her ex-subject. "Now, any more questions?"

Roseluck gave up, fainting again. The last words she heard were those of Celestia. "Need to do some testin—"

Green eyes blinked, sweeping around the room again before they settled on Twilight, who hopped from hoof to hoof anxiously. "Thank goodness you're awake, Princess Roseluck!"

Roseluck's eyes rolled back in her head again.

Now fully groggy and feeling like she'd been hit like a train, Roseluck opened her eyes again. "Can I get some painkillers, or something? My head..."

"No time!" Princess Luna bounded into view at the bottom of the bed, wings spread aggressively and eyes wild. "Gryphons threaten our borders, and only thou hast the talent we need to drive them back, O Princess of Thorns!"

"I... oh."

Roseluck fainted yet again.

As she came awake this time, Roseluck scrunched her eyes shut, hard. "This isn't funny. I want some painkillers, you guys."

She cracked an eye.

The visage of The Unconquered Sun filled her view. "Changelings!" Celestia yelled.

This time, for a change, Roseluck vomited onto the muzzle of the Most High before passing out.

Roseluck realized immediately when she was coming to, and quickly wrapped her forelegs around her head, belly rubbing on the ground. "Nope! I don't want to hear it, I don't want you pulling pranks on me just because I faint easily, and I don't want to be a stupid Princess!"

Only silence met her proclamation, and Roseluck cracked open one eye. A lavender hoof sat about three hooves from her nose, and glancing up, she could see it was attached to Twilight. The silence held for a moment, before Twilight broke it.

"It's okay, Roseluck. We're back home in your garden."

Warily, Roseluck opened both eyes, sitting up slowly. She rubbed her head, noting that her headache was gone, and took a deep breath. "Princess. What happened now? Why am I back home?"

Twilight sighed, shifting her wings on her back uncomfortably. "Nothing happened, really. You passed out again, and the doctor came and said that aside from being easily startled, you were fine and we could take you away. But... the last time you passed out, you threw up on Princess Celestia."

Roseluck winced. "Yeah, I remember."

"Yeah. While you were passed out, she turned you back. You're an Earth pony again." Twilight stared up at the sky, allowing Roseluck time to look herself over. Seeing and feeling nothing but smooth coat running taut over her frame, she finally smiled.

"Well... tell her thank you for me, okay? I know what I did with those roses, just, I don't think I'd be a good leader. Especially if I started my reign vomiting on one of the other leaders." Roseluck scuffed a hoof through the soft dirt of her garden, and Twilight smiled.

"I agree."

The two ponies sat quietly for a few moments, breathing in the late day spring air. Roseluck finally stood, stretching out and looking out with pride over her garden. Sure, I'm no Princess, but I guess this just means I really am good at what I do! I just—wait. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, letting them run over the empty garden patch, the empty wheelbarrow sitting on its side, and the hoofprints in the soil. "Princess Twilight? Did the Royal Guard take my roses, or something?"

"Hmm?" Twilight glanced around. "No, not as far as I know. But now that you mention it, how are there no rosebushes?" Her brow furrowed. "We really need to find those. That effect I mentioned earlier today is pretty poten—"

"Meow."

Horrified, both Twilight and Roseluck turned their gazes upwards to the magically grown pegasus looming over the garden. Derpy's usually good natured smile was a giant rictus in the sky, her teeth larger than both smaller ponies put together. Shivering, Roseluck backed slowly, eyes widening in fear as Twilight reached out a hoof. "Now... now Derpy, I know it's fun to be big, and I know roses are delicious, but those were Roseluck's property, and that wasn't very nic—"

She was cut off by a small squeak behind her, and turned just in time to see Roseluck hit the dirt again.

"How does she not have brain damage?" Twilight muttered.

"Mew."

Author's Note

I did a thing.

Hat tip to this thread, without which I wouldn't have even noticed.

Further hat tip to Majin Syeekoh, for pre-reading this nonsense.