The Life and Times of Cain and Strife- Season 1

-*- Cain/Strife -*-

Sunlight was streaming into our room as Celestia's sun was beginning its slow descent towards the horizon. I let out a soft groan as I gave a mighty stretch, a few pops echoing about as I opened one eye and checked the clock hanging upside down nearby.

Hmm... three in the afternoon. Whelp, guess I've done enough sleeping.

I could sense Strife waking up as well, my sister having decided for a change to share the six hour nap with me. Turns out that even as we were, two souls sharing one body and taking turns being 'conscious' and in control, we still needed sleep SOMETIMES.

Rolling out of the cloud hammock, I dropped to all fours and gave a little shake, doing a few more stretches and making the remaining kinks be tossed overboard. My eyes briefly glanced up to my silver mane, currently a wild mess. Harrumphing, I used my magic to call a brush over, grunting as I drug it through again and again, ignoring the occasional sting as I yanked at split ends.

"You do know you can just fix it with magic? Or leave it as is?" Strife murmured as she floated up into a mirror hanging on a wall across from us. "Personally, I think it looks better wild and messy. Suits us both much better."

"Maybe it's just force of habit," I replied cooly, a smirk on my face as I stuck my tongue out at her. "Or maybe I don't want to be as lazy as you."

Strife feigned being struck in the heart. "Me? Lazy? Such an accusation from my dear beloved brother. Such nerve."

"Tis only the truth." I replied as I finished, returning the brush to it's place as I stood up and made for the door, turning the knob and stepping into Mama Pinkie Pie's room. I glanced around, seeing no sign of Pinkie Pie, or the evil that was the Cake twins. Just Gummy, who was sitting on the bed gnawing uselessly at a pillow.

With some trepidation, fully expecting a surprise hug from Mama Pinks, I stepped out of the closet, pushing the door shut as I held my breath for but a moment.

Yup, me and Strife were living in a closet. Not that such a small space were an obstacle for either of us. When you have access to nigh unlimited chaos magic, the world was your plaything. If we wanted, we could have turned that closet into a castle.

Thankfully if there was one thing the two of us shared, to an extent, it was that neither of us needed much to be happy, or at least content.

"Alright, I think we're good today." I say, though just for the sake of being cautious, rather then taking any further steps, I instead float up and slither on through the air-

Only to come crashing back down as a half a dozen of Pinkie's Party mines go off around me, showering me with confetti and at least a dozen balloons as trumpets go off, playing one of Pinkie's little diddy's.

I could hear Strife rolling on the floor in our mind, laughing her ass off as Pinkie poked her head out of a barrel that served as a lampstand, giggling right along with her as I groaned and laid prone on the floor.

"It was funny the first time, now it's just annoying." I grumbled, even as I couldn't keep a smile on my own face from forming as Pinkie trotted on up help blow some of the multi-colored shredded paper off me.

"Hehehehee, I know, that was the last time, at least for a while." Pinkie remarked as she tried to stifle her giggles. I could see she was looking at the spot where Strife's illusionary ghost was now resting. Seemed my sister had decided laughing in my head wasn't as much fun.

"Hey, I always think it's funny. Startling you and giving you a scare like that is hilarious!"

"Now now Strife, I wasn't trying to scare Cain. I was trying to surprise him!" She said, her boundless glee oozing out of her voice as she let out a few more giggles and snorts.

Strife waved that off, while I continued to ignore the fact that Pinkie had no trouble hearing or seeing Strife where everypony else couldn't. It was Pinkie Pie after all.

"Tomato, potatoe, whatever, they both get the same result." Strife said with a chortle. "Though I will never forget that first time when Cain turned Gummy into a walrus after you ducked his magic blast."

Pinkie started chortling at the memory of that, while Gummy turned to give us a curious look before going back to gumming up the pillow. "Eehheheee, I still think Gummy has a bit of extra belly fat from that. Which makes him a Waligator!"

"That sounds like a Pokemon..." I say to myself, then facepalm as Pinkie Pie begins miming recalling her pet with a pokeball... using a bouncy ball in it's stead.

"Pinkie, besides the fact that it's funny to you and Strife, was there a reason you decided to surprise me as soon as I woke up?"

She stopped pretending to capture the pillow and landed back on all four hooves, bouncing over to me as she smiled and said "Well, I was wanting to know if you wanted to run a few errands with me today, then join me and Rainbow Dash at Lazy Pond for some swimming!"

"What kind of errands?" Strife quickly asked, her ghostly visage absolutely beaming as she asked "Any of them happen to involve playing pranks on Ponies?"

"Not today, got some party invitations to give out and to deliver some baked goods to a few houses. Maybe Rainbow Dash might have a prank or two planned after our swimming?"

Strife harrumphed at that, muttering softly to herself as Pinkie tried to stifle a snicker at her pouting. "Probably wouldn't be the kind of pranks I'm wanting to do anyways."

"That's cause most of yours are just like the sort Gilda and the pegabullies would use." I reply simply as I turn to smile at Pinkie as I say "Sure, I'm game for those errands. I've spent most of my time here or in Twilight's library anyways, so this is a good chance to see more of Ponyville."

"Hey, they are not, at least not all of them." Strife tried to retort as I whisked away the remaining confetti and balloon animals that had been laying on me, it vanishing to the chaos void, or whatever Strife had called it. One visit had been more than enough for me to never want to visit that place again.

"Anyways, where to first?"

-*-

The first three stops weren't all that interesting or exciting. Two of them because the Ponies in question weren't home, much to Pinkie Pie's disappointment, and the third…

Well, the third was... Busy. Very, very busy. It wasn't hard to see that Pinkie and I weren't the only ones blushing as we heard what was going on upstairs. Suffice to say, we left Bon Bon and Lyra's party invitation and Lyra's cupcakes at the door.

"Alright, next is... Thunderlane, and then the last delivery is Ditzy Hooves!"

Strife and I both perked up at that name, snickers coming from Strife as I said "That's awesome! I haven't seen Ditzy since the first of your Welcome to Ponyville Parties you threw for me."

"Heh, yeah, it'll be fun to see Miss Wandering Eye again. Maybe I can get her to give me some free bubble wrap so I can baby proof the Cake Twins." Strife chimed in, earning a glare from me and a bemused smile from Pinkie.

"Silly willy Strife, you can't baby proof a baby. Trust me, I've tried." Mama Pinks replied simply, giving Strife a noogie, much to her annoyance. "Now come on, let's get these cupcakes and muffins delivered lickety split so we can go hang out with Rainbow Dash!"

Floating along beside her, I smiled as Pinkie bounced along, humming her smile smile smile song to herself. I soon joined in, leading to a very unintended musical replay of the entire musical number. Including bumping into Cranky Doodle himself.

Only this time of course, his frown did turn upside down, if only for a moment before he said "As much a I would absolutely love to spend some time gabbing with you about my day, I have things to do, as I'm sure you do as well."

"I do?" Pinkie Pie asked innocently for a moment, before Cranky and I pointed towards the last two sets of baked treats. "Oh right! Hehehe, guess I just got so excited seeing you again. It's been exactly eight days, seventeen hours, four minutes and eleven seconds since we last talked! We really need to get together more often."

"Was that a guess or has she really been counting?" Cranky asked me, earning a shrug. "Just accept it as Pinkie being Pinkie. It'll save you from more headaches then you might want or need."

After corralling a promise to visit Sugar Cube Corner the next day, we continued on. Sadly, there was a brief, jarring halt to my floating as my form shimmered and shifted.

"My turn!" Strife exclaimed to me as I was forced into the passenger seat, grumbling to myself as I took the turn at playing observant ghost.

"Didn't you have another two hours before we swapped?" I asked, irritation obvious in my voice as Strife flipped upside down and began lazily swimming above Pinkie.

"I did, but I'd like to meet Thunderlane myself, heheh. He's a sexy ass feather duster if you ask me."

That made me flush, as I had to admit, he was pretty cute. However, I quickly found myself asking "You haven't, or aren't planning on, turning him into an actual feather duster, have you?"

I noticed Pinkie's ears perk up at this, and Strife grimaced as she simply said "Of course not. For one, Mama Pinks would punish me by listening to that ten hour tape of her rambling. I do NOT want to do that again."

"And the other reason?"

Strife blinked at me, then chuckled as she said "Well duh, I can't quite have nearly as much fun with him like that." There was a brief pause, and then she got a glint in her eye I knew all too well. "Actually come to think of it..."

"Stop that line of thought right there Missy!" Pinkie said, chortling as she added "Wouldn't want to make Thunderlane faint in embarrassment hehehehee!"

Now we both blinked, turning to look ahead of us to see the Pegasus stallion in question standing in his doorway and holding his hoof out for his box of cupcakes. A blush was on his face and he looked very much like he wanted to be somewhere else.

"How much did you overhear?" Strife asked innocently, giving him an inviting smile as I facepalmed. Leave it to Strife to not be bothered by letting all of that slip out in front of the guy in question.

Thunderlane simply coughed, snagged his order, and dashed back into his house. A single moment of silence followed that, before Pinkie and Strife began roaring with laughter. Pinkie was rolling about on the ground, while Strife simply chortled in mid air.

"Oy vey." I muttered silently to myself as I poked my sister in the side, earning a tail smack to my face. "Yo, we got one more delivery left. Laugh it up if you must, be shouldn't keep Ditzy waiting."

Pinkie got back up, bouncing on ahead as she said "'Fraid Cain is right Strife! Ditzy doesn't like to be kept waiting on her muffins. She's very serious about the things. You do NOT want to see what Ditzy is like when she hasn't had her muffin fix."

"What, do her muffins have like drugs in them or something?" Strife asked as she slithered on after Pinkie, lazily swimming circles around her as she skipped onwards.

"Eeheheheee, no of course not silly. Ditzy just absolutely loves cinnamon oatmeal muffins. Kind of obsessed with them if you ask me." She said as we approached the cottage of the mail mare in question. "But then, she likes oatmeal, so I guess that answers that question."

"It means she thinks she's crazy." Strife whispered softly to me, my eyebrow quirking up as I asked

"No, really? I couldn't have guessed."

The door opened up, and Dinky Hooves poked her head out. She smiled when she saw us, turned to call back to Ditzy that the muffins were coming, only for us all to look up at the sound of a crash from the second floor. Another crash, and then Ditzy came through the window, coming to a stop by crashing into the the three of us.

"Muffins?" Ditzy asked, both eyes being completely focused on Pinkie, which was somewhat disturbing, before one began to move away and left me feeling that all was still right in the world.

"Muffins!" Was Pinkie's muffled reply, as it turned out Ditzy's hoof had landed right in her mouth. Ditzy blushed and pulled her hoof free, shaking some of the slobber off and quickly picking her order of muffins up. She then wrapped Pinkie in a big hug, did the same with Strife, and headed back inside.

Dinky just giggled, looking to Pinkie as she asked "You gonna come to Mama's Muffin party next week Pinkie? Mama ordered a whole bunch of different muffins from bakeries all over Equestria and is going to have different types of muffin based contests!"

"Are you loco in the cocoa? Of course Pinkie Pie will be there, this is the premier party pony of Ponyville, possibly all of Equestria." Strife retorted, crossing her arms as she peered down at Dinky and asked "And I don't suppose we're invited to this as well, riiiigghhtt?"

Dinky blinked, and tilted her head, her confused expression making me daaaw softly. "Why wouldn't you be invited? Anypony can come and join the party as long as they come with a plan to have fun."

"Here here!" Pinkie shouts from above us, crashing to the ground and then walking up to ruffle Dinky's mane. "And you betcha that we'll be there, wouldn't miss a party with any of my friends!"

"Great! Unless the deliveries get here late, it should be next friday at two in the afternoon."

"I'll mark it on my invisible calendar." Strife murmurs, miming doing so even though I had a strange feeling that, for all I knew, she really was. I was proven right when I got a smack to the face with said calender.

"That's for doubting me."

With that taken care of, the three of us bid Dinky farewell, Pinkie Pie bouncing in place as she babbled on about all of the fun that we would be having once we got to the pond and met up with Rainbow Dash.

I tried tuning it out, after all, as Applejack could attest, listening to Pinkie Pie's never ending rambling could be classified as torture. Strife soon reminded me there were worse things though as she started playing a Justin Bieber song in my head.

Anyone would take Pinkie rambling over Bieber.

-*-

Reaching the pond took a bit longer than was probably originally planned, mainly because Pinkie Pie just had to take a moment, even if it was only about thirty seconds, to greet just about every pony we met along the way, asking them how their day was and everything. We were both used to it, and I knew it bothered Strife more than me, but even I was getting annoyed.

Seriously, I was expecting the Smile Smile Smile music to start any moment! And we'd already done that not more than twenty minutes ago!

But thankfully, we made it there, and Dash didn't seem bothered by Pinkie Pie being late. But then, she didn't have to have Pinkie there to relax and have fun. Having Pinkie and her friends just made it more fun. And awesome, as she was quick to point out.

"Not that I need help being awesome or anything." Rainbow Dash said with a smirk as she did some backstrokes in the water, Pinkie busy getting all her swimming gear on.

Strife, in the meantime, was currently relaxing on a raft made of green and red polka dotted sponge, using a sheet of silver colored fruit candy for her tanning purposes, while I just sat and shook my head in bemusement as she took a bite out of it.

"You know Strife, maybe we could go ahead and use that ability... I'd like to do some swimming too you know." I say to her as my own ghostly image pops forth, brushing a hand through the water idly and being disappointed at the lack of ripples.

"Nah... for a start, you being ghost boy there annoys you, and whatever annoys you amuses me." She said in a smug tone as I glared at her, though I soon saw something that made me smirk and start edging away from her.

"Second, I want to try and work out some more kinks before we-"

"CANNONBALL!" Pinkie shouted out, interrupting Strife as she came careening down, crashing into the water and sending a wave of water splashing onto RD, Strife, and sadly even me, though it just passed through me like I wasn't there.

Which, I wasn't, not really anyways.

Sputtering and hissing as her fruit candy began dissolving into the water, though she grinned as she snapped her fingers and a strange device appeared on her back. A tube full of multi-colored water balloons was connected to a machine, which had a hose with a candy cane painted handle at the front.

"You do realize that this means war!" Strife exclaimed, sending a trio of water balloons flying in Pinkie Pie’s direction as she was pushed back into the water by the recoil.

Pinkie of course simply giggled and chortled, diving under water as the balloons popped harmlessly against the pond surface.

"Heheh, if it's a fight ya want." Rainbow Dash said as she popped out of the water, grinning as she flexed her wings before coming straight for Strife, soon dipping a hoof into the water and sending a large splash of water at us.

Strife of course repaid that with a water balloon, two to be exact, to the face.

The next hour went by much like this, the three of them splashing and dunking each other or flinging water balloons at one another. I even got some chances to join the fun when Strife tagged me in and switched places only to use her own magic to remain a part as well as she dumped two big water bubbles atop my head.

All in all, it was a great amount of good hard fun, and only when we had all started to feel our bodies yelling at us from our enthusiastic playing did we flop onto the beach nearby, letting the afternoon sun bathe us in it's warmth.

"Hah... hah... well... I don't know about anypony else... but I think I'm ready for a nap." A rumbling from my stomach drew my attention, and I snorted as I said "Or maybe a quick bite to eat first."

"Heh, yeah, I'm pretty starved too." Rainbow Dash said as she rolled onto her hooves, doing a few quick stretches before she offered "Anyone up for some burgers at the Ponyville Diner?"

I floated up, running a hand through my mane as I said "I sure am! As good as Pinkie's baking is, I think I've had plenty of sweets to last me a while. I need something savory! And veggie burgers and hay fries sounds absolutely perfect."

"Hey, I can make those too you know!" Pinkie protested as she popped up into our face, a mock pout on her snout.

Strife just snickered while I raised my hands up defensively. "Not saying you can't, but do you really feel like cooking right now?"

It took about two seconds for Pinkie's smile to reappear as she said "Nopey wopey!" and then started bouncing on off towards town.

Shaking our heads, the three of us followed on after her. "Wait for us Pinks!"

I had to admit, I was glad we'd gone with Pinkie Pie. The day might not have been quite as interesting if we hadn't, and I was sure it wasn't quite done yet.

But then again, as this day was helping to remind me, with Pinkie Pie as your mother, every day was guaranteed to be an interesting one. And, if at all possible, one full of fun and laughs aplenty for all to share.

And that, was a life that wasn't going to grow stale with time.