Big Mac yawned as he staggered into his bedroom, the scent of cider heavy in his breath. What a night. He hadn't had a night quite like that in… well, maybe never. With all the work on the farm to be done, there was rarely any time for hanging out with his old friends, sitting around by the apple orchards and drinking cider and talking about whatever they pleased to. It had been an amazing night that left him amazingly exhausted. Exhausted and rather drunk.
In a totally graceful way, Big Mac climbed into bed. He most certainly did not trip over his hooves and most definitely did not fall face-first into bed because he wasn't actually that drunk and anypony who says anything else is clearly mistaken. Either way, nopony saw his blunder, so without the burden of embarrassment, Big Mac was out like a light and his snores were heard mere seconds later.
A gentle rub on the leg roused Big Mac from his slumber—partly roused him, anyway. He shut his eyes tighter and rolled away from Applejack, not really wanting to leave his comfy bed, especially since the only thing awaiting him if he chose to get up was a massive hangover.
“Come on now, up and at ‘em,” Applejack chided in a really, really deep voice. Too deep a voice. Way too deep a voice, as if she had run into a patch of poison joke and it had decided to do the Flutterguy thing on her.
Big Mac, suddenly much more awake, turned back to the voice and opened one eye to find himself face to face with not Applejack but himself. His other eye flung open and he sat up straight in bed, nearly making an audible sproing, resulting in his duplicate smiling even more widely.
“That’s better,” the clone declared happily.
Big Mac blinked, and when he still saw the pony standing by his bed, he blinked again. Still there. “...Eeyup,” he said slowly, then hopped out of bed and made his way into the hallway and into the bathroom, taking care not to look back at the other Mac, as if hoping that ignoring its existence would actually cause it to stop existing. Fat chance of that happening though.
Locking the door behind him, he looked in the mirror above the sink to examine his own reflection just to make sure he was still himself. Same red coat, same orange mane, and same green eyes, albeit now having a rather crazed look about them. It wasn’t the I-had-too-many-drinks-last-night sort of crazed, but rather the there-is-a-hot-stallion-in-my-room-that-looks-exactly-like-me-and-I-am-probably-going-insane sort of crazed. Never a good sign.
Big Mac grunted and turned on the sink tap, leaning over the counter and splashing cool water onto his face. The last traces of drowsiness were washed away with the water, and he turned the water off and dried his face on a towel, newly refreshed. Satisfied, he started to make his way out of the bathroom but thought better of it, not wanting to go back to the bizarre situation at hoof. Instead he opted to go over to the window and admire his orchards.
Bad idea. He saw his orchards, alright, but that wasn’t the only thing he saw. Right outside the window stood the unwelcome sight of several red stallions walking around He stared for a while, his eye twitching a little, as he struggled to process what was happening.
“...Nope,” he sighed, hanging his head in resignation. Might as well face the day.
A few minutes later, the door creaked as Big Mac wearily pushed it open and made his way into the kitchen for breakfast. Disappointingly, although not necessarily surprisingly, the other Mac—er, one of the other Macs—was already sitting at the table with a cup of apple juice and a newspaper. The two met eyes for a second and nodded solemnly in greeting, then the other Mac went back to his newspaper and the original Mac shuffled over to the fridge to find something to eat. Some coffee, maybe a few apples and, if Apple Bloom hadn’t eaten them all already, waffles.
Big Mac opened the fridge and waffles stared back at him, a sight he would’ve welcomed immensely on all those days when he woke up to a growling stomach. Right, he should have figured. Since everypony had apparently been replaced with duplicates of himself, it only stands to reason that his sis would be included in that. But then…? No, best not to think about what had happened to his family. First fix the cause of their disappearances, the random Macs running around, then treat the effect, which in this case would be his missing family. Oh, and all of Ponyville or Equestria or whatever. That’s probably important too.
He silently made his breakfast, then started making his way over to the table, hesitating for a bit as his eyes flicked back and forth between the chair across from the other Mac and the two chairs to either side of them. To be in closer proximity to the other pony, or to have to face him directly and look at him? Neither was an ideal choice but they were the only options. Obviously he’d rather eat with Granny Smith, Applejack, and Apple Bloom, but unless he was able to ascend to an alicorn a few years earlier than anticipated and gain the power to transform them back, that wasn’t going to happen.
Not wanting to give in to the other Mac, Big Mac ignored all of his option and instead opted to sit underneath the table. Sure, it was cramped and uncomfortable and his back pressing against the underside of the table actually raised it off the ground half a metre, but at least he didn’t see the other Mac and the other Mac couldn’t see him either. A suspicious sliding sound reached Mac’s ears, followed immediately by the crashing sound of the other Mac’s drink falling to the floor.
“Um,” the other Mac stated.
“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied, with no further explanation.
“...I hear the Princess is in town today?” Other Mac offered as a conversation starter, trying his best to ignore the table hovering above the ground. “You seem off today… maybe you could use a day off…”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed.
“The weather is nice…”
“Eeyup.”
“Eeyup.”
“...”
One hour of awkward silence later...
Big Mac trotted out of the house and into the warmth of the summer day, taking a deep breath of the fresh air to clean his thoughts, relaxing a bit as soon as he’d stepped out the door. The Princess could help him, or at the very least, make him feel better about his situation. Even if she wasn’t able to help him, it was still slightly reassuring to know that there was a face in Equestria that wasn’t red, masculine, and freckled. Sure, he was quite a hunk of a stallion to look at, but too much of a good thing just becomes a bad thing and he imagined he’d get sick of seeing that face quite quickly; he was already starting to resent it already. He needed to fix this.
The closer he got to the town centre, the more concentrated the amount of ponies became, and soon Big Mac found himself surrounded by a crowd as he entered the very centre of town, a sea of red bodies and orange manes where the weekend’s farmer’s market was taking place, a babble of conversation reaching his ears from the two stallions standing closest to him.
“Hey Mac!”
“Oh, hiya Mac! Haven’t seen ya in a while. Doin’ some good shopping?”
“Eeyup. You?”
“Eeyup, sure am.”
“Ah got some great pies from Big Mac’s pie stand.”
“Ah’ll have to check it out. Big Mac’s cider stand is havin’ a sale though.”
Big Mac shook his head, trying to drown out the voices. In every sentence he heard, there was Big Mac this, Big Mac that, and every time he heard his name he reflectively looked towards the speaker. It was getting really old really fast. Sighing, he rubbed his already sore neck with a hoof and tried to focus on the task at hand—locating the princess. Luckily for him, the whole town was abuzz with excitement, and posters advertising her presence and location were pasted on walls not even a hoof’s length apart from each other. They were bright, probably magically enchanted to glow, with the word PRINCESS printed in bold letters across the top and a flashing arrow underneath pointing towards an area next to the town hall.
Big Mac shoved through the crowd, making his way as quickly as he could to the town hall, which actually wasn’t very quickly at all due to repeatedly encountering other Macs attempting to converse with him and blocking his path. He endured, though, not letting the obstacles defeat his spirits as he journeyed forward to meet his destination, for he had to push through and continue on if he was ever to save Equestria from the Invasion of the Big Macs.With lots of blood, sweat, and grit, he finally found himself at the building. He took a deep breath, wiped some sweat off of his brow, and mentally prepared his speech to the Princess and thought about what tasks he might have to do in order to aid in saving the world.
Now he was ready.
He walked around to the side of the building and peered over the crowd to see the princess. When his eyes finally found her, his blood froze.
Sure, the princess was there alright, but she was a he and he was yet another Big Mac, just with one small difference—he was an alicorn princess.
Big Mac stumbled backwards in shock until he hit the wall of another building and fell. He stayed sitting, staring at his hooves. No Celestia to help him. No way to get everypony back. He was doomed. That Princess Mac couldn’t help him; he was just like the others. Once he would’ve dreamed to see himself as a princess, but now that it was happening, it wasn’t as amazing. Come to think of it, he had dreamed of being an alicorn before…
Suddenly, Big Mac sat straight up, wide eyed, a smile growing on his face. That’s it… this is all a weird dream! Prob’ly a result of all the drinks Ah had. Never doin’ that again. He laughed and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. Time to sleep.
Big Mac woke with a yawn, light streaming in through his window. He rolled over in his bed—his bed!—and smiled to himself, relieved. Finally, an end to the nonsense.
He hummed to himself as he brushed his teeth, grabbed his supplies, and trotted out the door to begin a day of hard work out in the fields.
If he had bothered grabbing breakfast in the kitchen, he would’ve seen the three red stallions sitting at the kitchen, silently eating waffles and reading newspapers.
THE END
Author's Note
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