Ten Steps To Annoy My Father

by Cryssy-miu

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Fluttershy, Original Character, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 8581

Dads are never hard to please, and Dads are hard to get to smile. Sometimes it's hard to know your Dad loves you, but a true Dad always comes through in the end. An alternate universe of "Broken Spirit", in which Aegeus and Astraia had not been killed by Discord and were in fact the ones to stone him. You MUST have read "Broken Spirit" up to chapter nine to understand any of this.

Published 2012-06-18 18:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-18 18:24:02 UTC

Reminding You I Care

Council meeting at nine, audience at Manehatten...it just never ends, Aegeus mused bitterly to himself, his cream colored horn seeping with golden, sparkling tendrils as he raised the sun that morning. The rays seemed dim, and the orb wasn't as bright. The sun almost looked tired.

Just like me, the stallion thought. The flecks of ember in his eyes were just as dim and listless, streaked with red from his son's late night pranks of rubber spiders in the bed, poorly imitated ghost noises, and anything else to drive a father insane and ensure that sleep was an impossible feat.

"You look tired this morning, Dad." The cheerful voice hovering from somewhere above him always brought an onslaught of dreadful shudders, and it was no different this morning. "I could have raised the sun for you~"

"And send it spiraling through the sky in a little 'dance' again?" the elder alicorn grouched, leering at the sly little face. "I don't think so. Do you have any idea how many complaints were sent in to us because of that? How many parchments we needed to respond to? I should have made you answer to them all!"

His impertinent colt merely summoned a plush cloud, flopping onto it and sliding a pair of sunglasses on. "Oh please. It isn't my fault these boring ponies can't appreciate a sense of fun~" He slid down the lenses, peering a vermillion eye down at the stern, poker faced frown he was so accustomed to seeing on his father's face.

"Fun has nothing to do with it, Discord," his father said sternly, sending a small bolt of magic at the cloud to disintegrate it, causing Discord to flop onto his bed and at eye level with him. "Most of those complaints came from farmers that were trying to tend to their crops, and they couldn't exactly do that without some source of light!"

"Oh the light was there, it was just...running around~? Or in this case flying I suppose. I was nice enough to offer to raise the sun for you!"

"And now please do me the kindness of never offering again," Aegeus grouched, trying to ignore the obnoxious immortal as he moved past the large bed, and encased his dresser in a golden hue to open the drawers. "Now leave so I can get dressed."

Growing bored at his failed efforts to get a rise from his father, Discord rolled around on the quilts, deliberately messing up the bedsheets as he rubbed his back against the blankets, and his mane especially. After a few moments, he turned back to look at his father, who was slipping on a large, silk, mahogany robe.

"You don't wear clothes, so what's the big deal if you run around naked today~?"

The king fastened the ties around his neck, giving it a small fluff. He rolled his eyes at Discord's statement, and gave his robe an experimental sniff. "It's a big deal today because it's tradition to dress formally for royal affairs, and.....why does my robe smell like pickle juice?"

"Oh I noticed it was dirty the other day and smelled terrible after you accidentally dropped it in the mud," Discord responded absently, twiddling his claws. "So I washed it for you."

"....In pickle juice."

"....Mhm~"

The king's beady, orange eyes trailed to the drawer that contained his old, trusty switch that every one of his kids but Discord seemed to have grown out of. He glanced back to the other side of his dresser at his wooden hairbrush, which Discord had felt the sting of on his backside more than Aegeus felt it in his own mane! He gazed thoughtfully at the drawer for a moment, before giving a mutter of unintelligible, grumbling complaints, and sulking to his nightstand.

Discord was busy drawing smiley faces on his pillow. He tried to ignore that. "I don't understand why you and Mum need to wear fancy-smancy dressies and such to attend meetings, and Tia and I don't. I don't think Luna ever has either."

"That's because you and Celestia are not yet king and queen," Aegeus pointed out, magic enveloping and lifting his crown – only to be snatched by Discord's claw as he flipped it up onto his own head. Aegeus protested angrily, but settled and let his son fiddle with the crown a bit.

"But we will be," the spirit said gleefully, crimson eyes alight with childish glee as he gazed up at the crown. His father actually gave a light smirk and lightly bopped his muzzle with his hoof.

"Not until you're ready to behave." Of course Aegeus knew that was a hard, if not impossible wish. The seer deemed him the Spirit of Chaos for a reason, supposedly spawned by demons. Nopony knew where this little colt came from, but Aegeus laughed at the initial thought of the draconequus being the incarnation of demons. There were many theories: demons, the madness that was once Equestria before he reigned it in, some sort of terrible mutilation between animals that lead to his birth. There was no definite answer.

As far as Aegeus was concerned, his son wasn't evil - and this came from a stallion constantly at the receiving end of infinite pranks – he just didn't know when to stop. For the most part, Aegeus let Discord have his fun to a certain degree. There were many times where the petulant colt needed to be reigned in by a scolding, lecture, or stinging backside, but whatever worked. Whatever kept Equestria from landing in eternal chaos.

I'm worried about my land falling to madness when I'm GIVING the kid the kingdom, he thought with a shudder. He trusted his dear Celestia to keep the naughty thing on a tight leash and handle him with sternness. From what he could see, where his daughter had scolded Discord severely on tripping a few servants, she was turning out to be a fine, dominant, controlling wife~

"I think we've kept the family waiting long enough. It's breakfast time, son." Aegeus yanked the startled spirit with magic from where he was drawing mustaches on the smiley faces on his pillow. Discord obediently fell into step behind his father.

"Dad, when I'm king I want a crown," Discord commented, twirling the delicate, golden band on his wrist. His father snatched it back, tucking it in the embers of his mane.

"Of course you're getting a crown, son. You'll be a King and you'll get my crown."

A hesitate. "No, I want a crown made of toffee."

A beat. "We'll talk about it."

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The table was already set and decorated with every breakfast dish the servants could think of. Hay pancakes, wheat, sugar smoothies, blueberry tea, eggs, mushrooms, and parsley. Aegeus was glad his wife approached him before he began to drool at the succulent sight.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Astraia cooed, nuzzling his face, gracing the grouchy old king's lips with his first smile that morning. His wife's midnight skin looked lighter in the sunlight, and her sapphire mane glinted with diamonds. It was enough to bring a smile to any stallion's face. Even one who's son was currently stacking orange slices on his head.

"Breakfast looks amazing, Astra," Aegeus commented, ignoring the tangy scented juice as it dribbled down from his flaring mane. "Did you make it or did Rain?" Rain was typically the one that served most breakfasts; a job Aegeus and Astraia assured was not under her hoof, but she loved to cook all the same.

"Rain made it, as I'm sure you can tell by the lovely set up, and Discord, stop tormenting your father!" Astraia scolded, and the petulant draconequus gave a frivolous pout, and begrudgingly removed the leaning tower of orange slices from the stallion's mane, sulking his way to his chair. As quick as the pout had sprung, it dissipated when he saw the alabaster form waiting for him, her angelic wings tucked in politely and her luminous, violet orbs shining at him.

Her perfect, oval face drew up into a grin as Discord pressed his muzzle against her neck, drawing a few giggles from her, especially as she was coiled in his tail and lap, the two now sharing a seat and a milkshake. The warmth of affection and genuine love between those two made anypony that looked over at them grin, their own chests swelling with the fuzzy warmth. Even Aegeus.

"I was surprised to wake up alone this morning," Celestia commented, tweaking her draconequus's snout and snickering as he swatted her hooves away in annoyance. "After all, I usually have to drag you out of bed by your feet or send a hoard of feathers after you." Neither of those were an expression.

The twisted, gray snout nuzzled the white, velvet cheek, sneaking his eyes back to focus the playfully malicious irises on his squinty-eyed father. "Oh, I decided to go say good morning to Dad before his council meeting," he chirped. "And I offered to help him get ready."

Aegeus held back an ungraceful snort, adamant on keeping dignified at the table and in front of his servants, that were currently, busily, scurrying about to clean the floors splattered with morsels of food, and particular syrup balls Discord was squishing between his fingertips and flinging to the floor.

The king instead directed his attention to the breakfast getting gradually cooler on his plate. It was a large, heaping plate of sunny side up eggs, and two pieces of buttery, dripping toast with hay bits strewn on them. The moment he picked up his fork the egg bubbled. His silverware still being hovered in the golden orb, the king watched his breakfast with a wary eye.

The wobbling, slimy yoke bubbled a few more times and a face was suddenly carved into the middle somehow. The egg rose slightly off the plate, almost standing on it. Aegeus's eye twitched.

"Mahna-mahna!" Suddenly the toast sprang alive as well, a face suddenly forming in the toaster-charred burnt marks.

"Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!"

"Mahna-mahna!"

"Doo-doo-doo-doo!"

"Mahna-mahna!"

"Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo—doo-doo doo—doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-d-" The breakfast gave a squeal as the king abruptly swiped the plate off the table with a clatter, and the dead food was silent. A servant or two scrambled into action with brooms and dustpans.

Astraia hadn't caught sight of the singing eggs and toast and merely cast her husband a look akin to concern and confusion. "Aegee, darling, something wrong?" She also didn't catch the way Discord had his head down to repress his hysterical laughter.

"Nothing at all, Astra!" Aegeus said a little too quickly, invoking a squinted eye look of suspicion from the midnight alicorn. "I – uh – I need to hurry up and get ready for the council meeting." He stood, as dignified as he could (which at this point wasn't really by much), and strode down into the bedchambers, slipping through the violet curtain.

And who should follow him~?

The sun alicorn gave a grunted shout as his legs buckled, suddenly finding his rambunctious, immortal son clinging on his back and twiddling his crown. The king struggled to stand, but found it difficult under the weight of a belly full of cotton candy and gallons of chocolate milk.

"Discord!!"

"Hey Dad, play with me!" The childish draconequus bounced slightly on his father's back, causing Aegeus to grunt and wince, finally pushing himself up to a standing position. He clung to his father's neck with his mismatched arms; legs attaching to his father's waist in a full body hug, tongue lolled out like a five year old.

Aegeus tried to ignore the obnoxious entity and the painful weight, striving to reach the bathroom to fix up his mane. His ears flattened as his colt kept shouting at him, droning on like the most annoying broken record in history.

"Hey Dad, play with me! Hey Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Hey Dad! Dad! Dad!"

Steady, Aegeus, you've weathered worse with this brat. The elder stallion ignored Discord's incessant shrieks and ear tugs, brushing through his mane with the wooden hairbrush, the spirit clung to him looking like some sort of abomination growing out of his neck and back.

"Hey Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad, look at me! Dad! Dad!"

The king heaved a shaking sigh and poofed up a silver handkerchief to shine his shoes. Discord was yelling joyfully in his ear now.

"Dad! Dad! Dad, you listening? Hey Dad! Daaaaadddyyy~!"

Aegeus casually encased his toothbrush in a golden hue, parting his mouth enough to scrub his teeth. He glanced back up at the mirror and the toothbrush fell from his mouth. His mane - once golden and sunset crackling embers - was now a giant bouquet of flowers.

"Hey Daaaaddddyyy~!"

"WHAT, DISCORD!" Aegeus finally roared at him, spinning around so sharply he knocked the draconequus off his back. Discord looked dazed for a moment, before giving a silly grin, and lulling his Dad into those quivering, sparkling, vermillion eyes of his.

"Yes~?"

"WHAT. IS. IT?"

"........Hi."

The king was certain something snapped inside of his mind, he was almost sure of it, the last portion of his sanity, the only part of it that had survived through the years of raising Discord finally dying. Well, it was overdue. Rubbing his temples, Aegeus engulfed his dainty, flower mane in an orb of magic and turned it back into fire.

"Fluttershy is supposed to arrive later," the king told his son that was currently prodding through his dresser and pulling out an old photo album to sift through. "Around two in the afternoon I believe." Discord's face lit up in sheer delight. "I'll be back at around ten."

Aegeus decided to just let Discord roam through his personal items – he didn't really have anything in there to begin with. Old pendants, photos, and some worn out, torn letters. He slipped past the bed curtain, leaving Discord with the box of photos between his legs. He heard the colt exclaim something that sounded suspiciously like: "wow Dad, you were ugly back then!"

The metallic, golden horseshoes clopped against the tile floor and padded softly over the red carpet stretching down the palace corridors, reaching the grand, heavy swinging doors. The guards, as always, were waiting to escort him out, but he was pleasantly surprised to see both his daughters at either side of the door, small boxes in their mouths.

Confused, the stallion sent them a perplexed look and summoned up a golden sphere, taking the boxes inside it. His daughters smiled at him.

"Your lunch and dessert, father," they recited in unison, giving the king twin kisses on either sides of his cheeks. Baffled, Aegeus looked up at them, before a warm smile spread over his features and he returned the gesture. Such wonderful, perfect daughters. Now, why couldn't his second youngest be that well behaved and respect-

"GAH!" The king let out an undignified shriek as something seemed to plummet down onto his back, crushing him against the floor as the warm, mismatched arms encircled his neck briefly, long enough for his second youngest to shriek "BYE DAD!" into his ear and disappear.

Luna and Celestia haphazardly looked around as Discord disappeared as quick as he came, in a blinding, flashing light. They gave their father a wayward smile of sympathy and helped him up, smoothing his flaming mane back into place until the embers began bouncing and crackling once more.

"We shall pick some berries for dessert if you wish, father," Luna smiled, and Aegeus gave both his eldest and youngest daughter a grateful smile, already too exhausted to do much else but nod in thanks and advance through the swinging doors. The synchronized clopping of hooves from the guards followed on, escorting him out to the carriage, where the representative of Trottinghan's council was waiting for him.

"Your majesty, good morning. How has it been treating you?" Sir Cookie Biscuit asked him, giving his king a respectful bow and fluffing the cushion on his seat. "The council has been eagerly awaiting this meeting."

"As have I," Aegeus half lied. He had been wishing to settle this needless meddle between the two towns, but council meetings nearly at the crack of dawn wasn't exactly the high point of his day. "At least we can finally settle the quarrel over trading....what?" Sir Cookie Biscuit was leaning slightly into the king, as if examining him.

"Why do you stink of pickles?"

Aegeus just groaned.

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Don't do this, Discord. Don't do that, Discord, Discord rudely mimicked his betrothed in his head, clapping his talon together like her jabbering jaw. Don't turn the berries into gumballs, Discord! Please, no juggling torches near the trees, Discord (what, they could use a good, large bon fire!)! By the chaos, he was certain he had turned Celestia into less of a prude! No such luck...

"Picking berries to make Dad a nice dessert. Could they brown nose him enough?" the chaotic immortal snorted, arms crossed dourly as he watched his fiance and little sister happily fill the wooden baskets to the brims with blueberries. Oh sure, he'd love to make his Daddy a nice dessert to come home to.

"One that spits gummy worms in his face," he giggled, cackling at the initial thought of his father's face as he'd lean in to take a bite, only to have a bunch of candy worms jump at him. He'd probably run away screaming.

The spirit scrawled circular motions on the edge of his cotton candy cloud, wishing for his love to finish her dumb berry picking so he could take her to play licorice jump rope with him. Or wait for little Lulu to come inside so he could dive in through the floor and try dragging her through the tiles. Oh that had been funny. The perks of being an older brother.

With the flick of his wrist a clock appeared in his talon (a clock with backwards digits that only he could read of course). It read only ten thirty. Fluttershy wouldn't be here for hours. What was he supposed to do until then? Hm, slather the servants' beds in jelly again? He cackled to himself, hovering himself off the cloud and eagerly darting to the palace.

Maybe some peanut butter this time too~!

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Aegeus's ears were ringing, the jagged, cream colored ears nearly flat against his head, sensitive to any noise right now. It had been so loud at the council; it took ages to finally scream over the noise and gain everyone's strict, undivided attention. Of course, it didn't differ much from household sibling spats he always needed to settle with his kids, usually by yelling at them all to shut up.

It had taken forever to calm the parties down, and Trottinghan's party had just about thrown a fit when their demand for a shipment of a thousand silks was denied. Well, what did they expect? A thousand? He was kind enough to grant them five hundred. Of course, tailoring shops tended to go crazy near the time of the Gala, what with all the dresses and costumes that needed to be made. At last the settlement was seven hundred silks, and the council ended at that (at least his ears had still been in tact).

By the saving grace of a thunderstorm raging in Manehatten, the audience had been cancelled, which the king was delighted for, not really in the physical and mental condition to venture all the way to the other side of Equestria. He just wanted to get home. ...Where he'd be constantly tormented by his own son.

On second thought, maybe I can stay at a Canterlot hotel for the night...or forever. But the elder alicorn was already making his way through the courtyard's large, swinging gates and up the steps of the palace.

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A certain draconequus was busy playing pop rockets with his tiny, furry companion: an old, flea ridden mouse that had been a friend of Discord's ever since he could remember. The gelatin rock shot from the launcher, and through a tile in the ceiling. Discord laughed as his companion could barely get his pop rock to launch three feet.

"I told you to stick the rocket up higher, Mr. McCheesePants!" the entity cackled, guffawing at the angered mouse's disturbed expression as he glared at his flukey rocket and hurled it down. "Oh don't be such a spoiled sport! Best two out of three?" The rodent only twitched his whiskers in annoyance and turned his back.

The spirit rolled his scarlet eyes at the mouse's over dramatic display (usual behavior anyways), and searched for someone more fun to play with. There she was: a servant that had just trotted obliviously into the kitchen, a wooden spoon tucked in her teeth, ready to plunge into a pot of soup that had been boiling the past half hour.

Stroking his goatee in thought, Discord levitated up near the ceiling, watching the cook as she twirled the spoon in through the mixture and gave it an experimental taste. After several seconds, she lifted the pot with magic, enough to pour more gasoline in the stove, causing the flames to leap even higher and engulf the pot once it was set back down.

Oh this was glorious, the most wonderful set up! Was there any way this could be anymore perfect? Discord chuckled darkly to himself, mismatched hands meeting and rubbing together slyly as he lifted his talon and gave a snap.

The naive servant perched herself higher over the counter, on beige back hooves, emerald eyes studying the bubbling concoction. The soup was now a time bomb, just waiting for her to lean over it enough to turn off the burners. Eventually, a hoof extended over the pot, but before the mare was able to grasp the knobs a spurt of confetti spat up at her from the soup.

Of course the entity was intelligent enough to take care to make sure the tiny, fart like explosion barely did more than spit a few strands of confetti at her, only aiming to confuse her. Confuse her they did as the specks of rainbow tickled her nose. Discord snickered from behind her, hiding himself behind a cloud.

Aegeus had just walked through the kitchen doors, a slow grin spreading across his face as the scent of sugared tea and steaming, liquified vegetables wafted through his nostrils. The barrage of colors that made up the kitchen was suddenly obscured and engulfed in a crimson flare, the light of the small explosion nearly blinding, and neither servant nor Discord realizing the flammability in the oils of the confetti as it fluttered into the fire.

The king acted immediately, rushing through the small cloud of smoke, choking down on the thick, black clouds, and trying to see through brimming, stinging eyes. With a surge of magic, his horn sprang into action, and a golden vortex sucked away the smoke.

Both the king and dumbfounded spirit stared at the injured servant crouched to the ground, charred hooves clasped to her face covered in soot, reeking of burned skin and a bit of blood. The king coaxed away the timid mare's hooves, and let out a breath of relief when he saw nothing potentially fatal.

The elder stallion helped to raise the trembling, tearful unicorn to her hooves, allowing her exhausted, weakened body to lean against him. Alarm rose and tightened the king's chest when the mare practically collapsed against him, and he prayed to his fellow gods that it was only from exhaustion, although he did sense the possibilities of a concussion.

An approaching servant's eyes scanned the wreckage, and her injured, fellow worker, and she merely mumbled a shaking thank you and took the injured mare against her side. Discord stood as stoic and calm as he could through the whole thing, but the trembling, crying inner colt within him desperately whined for the retreating backs not to leave him. He was fully aware all hell would break loose once the door completely closed. A dying protest fell on deaf ears and the quiet shut of the door. And did hell ever break loose

The Spirit of Chaos barely had a second to react before the golden tendrils of doom had enveloped his entire, gangly body, from mismatched horns to mismatched feet. Discord fought to repel it with his own magic, but the horrified spirit was too frazzled to exact a spell and knew what would happen if he tried to make a break for it anyway.

"Dad, wait! Dad, please! Daddy-!!" the draconequus all but squeaked, feet plunging out of the glowing orb to try and dig into the floor, only halting his father's cold, silent march for a few seconds while Aegeus strengthened the magic imprisoning his son.

"Dad! Dad, I didn't mean it! It was an accident – it wasn't my fault! Dad, Dad, noooo!" Discord fussed on desperately, trying to plunge out his appendages and dig them into doorways and rugs, barely missing the two alicorns trotting their way through the hallway and staring at the scene, ears back. They weren't shocked; of course, this was nearly a weekly regiment. Both pairs of teal to violet eyes gazed at him with sympathy, Celestia feeling her heart throb.

At last the bedchamber doors slammed with a thunderous thud, sealing Discord's fate and locking him in to his doom. In Aegeus's blind rage he hadn't even bothered to cast a soundproof spell on the room like he sometimes did. Both sisters realized and galloped quickly from the bunking hall so not to eavesdrop.

Luna found the excuse to help herself to a fresh, heaping plate of cookies in the kitchen, while a slightly stricken sun alicorn walked mechanically down the corridors, nearly slamming into a small, beaming little pegasus. Celestia's heart dropped to her stomach. Oh not now--not at this moment!

"Good morning, princess Celestia," the sweet little saffron pony greeted with a courteous bow, cyan eyes alight with eagerness, and mouth opening to excitedly ask where she could find her little dracon-

The first crack of many reverberated through the hallway, followed by at least ten more rapid smacks. Fluttershy shrieked out in fear, darting under the flowing, ethereal tail of the princess. She cast a questioning look to Celestia, her eyes radiating her confusion and fear. The princess bit her lip. By the Equestrian Gods, they were acting as if Discord was being sentenced to death!

"Oh, Discord just ran into some...trouble earlier." The princess fumbled on her words, still not entirely certain what had happened, but knew it had to be severe if he had been dragged to Aegeus's bedroom. Consequences weren't exactly rare, but this particular one tended to be since Discord managed to keep himself relatively controlled at times.

Fluttershy heard the horrendous cracking of stinging wood continue and her ears folded back against her head. It echoed down the palace halls, making the young pony shiver. It took a minute of rapid pops before there was any other sound. Eventually the teary eyed pegasus heard the vocalization of Discord's pitiful shrieks, yelps, and after a countless number of smacks, there were eventually cries and wails.

"Oh, should I go in and see him?" Fluttershy asked meekly, and Celestia chuckled awkwardly. She admired the pegasus's caring and loving demeanor, but she knew of course that Discord would be far more embarrassed than he would be comforted by it. That still wasn't stopping the pony that had lived with and cared for the creature for a year. She had already begun trotting down the hall.

By the time Fluttershy reached the bedchamber area she could hear Aegeus's relentless, scolding voice and harsh shouts, along with the heartbreaking, muffled sobs. It took everything to make Discord cry, and so Fluttershy knew the punishment had been brutal.

The elder stallion emerged and gazed down at the quivering pony. He was so incredibly intimidating. Fluttershy was terrified of Aegeus, no matter how gentle the alicorn approached her. He was just so gruff and loud and always had that infinite frown.

"Good morning, Fluttershy," the king said with a nod. Fluttershy could only stare at him until Aegeus gave up on getting a response and turned down the hallway. The moment he did, Fluttershy furiously galloped into Discord's room, and through the door. Sure enough, there was the poor spirit on his belly, weeping into his pillow.

"Oh, sweetie," Fluttershy cooed, trying not to gasp when she saw the seemingly infinite number of thin, crimson welts bordering violet adorned over the well punished backside. The exhausted, slightly distraught spirit gazed up at the pegasus by his side with watery scarlet, eyes widening in horror. By the chaos, now this was rich. The king of chaos himself sniffling and sniveling like a six year old colt. Wasn't she supposed to come over at two? At least by then he'd be better composed, with only the evidence of his ordeal being the marks that would be hidden under his robe.

The spirit tried avoiding her eyes, face buried into the pillow, trying to decide between a groan and an eye roll, or a sob and a hiccup; just as he was debating on allowing himself to resign to her motherly cuddles or kick her off the bed until he managed to not look and act like a total baby. In the end he decided to simply lay there and let the waterfalls continue to drench his father's blankets and pillows.

Fluttershy clung to his twisted, gray muzzle, grazing a gentle hoof down the side of his face and over the brimming tears. Discord was far too tired and busy nursing his bruised ego and blistered bottom to care.

"Are you ready to go out now, Discord?" The response was the mortified Discord to grab his pillow and yank it over his head, trying to swallow the swollen lump compromising his voice enough to speak. To end up hicupping and sobbing as he tried to squeak out a few words would be a nightmare. Yet, within a few moments, the god of chaos had regained his composure as quickly as he had lost it.

"Aegeus is gone," Fluttershy offered, hoping that would make him feel a little better. "He went into his study I think. Maybe-maybe we can go outside and try to forget about everything for now."

Discord managed a shaky snort. Forget about everything, right. Forget about the savage whipping, and the way his father just left him without a word. He hadn't even said anything through the entire episode. If the answer wasn't as clear as day Discord wouldn't even know why he was being spanked in the first place.

That's just the way it works here though, the spirit thought darkly, vermillion eyes glowing with anger and shining with the tears that wouldn't go away for a long hour at least. All the bad things (ie. Him) are punished and then confined to their own quarters, as if he thinks it would make the 'evil' seep out of me. Discord squinted his eyes tightly and allowed more tears to slip past the squeezed eyelids.

Fluttershy's gentle hoof guided him to his feet, but Discord shrugged it off and snapped his fingers, making a striped robe fall into place over him as the downcast, very sore draconequus walked quietly out of his bedroom. White fibers greeted his vision as Discord was suddenly enclosed into two white wings.

"How are you feeling?" Celestia asked softly, the tip of her wing brushing back his fur affectionately and dipping across his eyelids to wipe the trickling tears. The muzzle pulled sharply out of her wings, and the spirit focused a deadpan glare on his fiance. Celestia bit her lip. It was just purely instinct.

"Oh Tia, I tell you, feeling like your butt has been caught inside a large, spinning industrial blender is magical," the spirit professed sarcastically, mismatched hands clasped to his chest in feigned cheerfulness. "Not to mention the surviving pieces of your rear being melted with a blow torch." His face buried back into her wings again.

"Why don't we all go out for a picnic?" Celestia suggested softly, tipping up the draconequus's chin to look at her. The wounded spirit shrugged, not exactly caring; a talon too busy rubbing away the pain in his seat. "Blanket or not, I'm not sitting." He did still let both his favorite ponies lead him out into the gardens.

Groans and little sighs muddled with occasional, mouth-closed hiccups as the rather downcast spirit begrudgingly dragged his mismatched heels in the dirt, pulling the concealing robe closer to him. He didn't want to go on a picnic. He didn't want to play, and as he watched Fluttershy extract a pitcher of water from the basket, he didn't even want to turn it into lemonade! All Discord wanted to do was curl up in bed...and maybe cry himself to sleep out of humiliation and agony to be honest.

Both Celestia and Fluttershy glanced back at the creature that had settled on his stomach on the soft, plaid blanket. His wet, sagging face laid there against the fabric, continuing to drench it. Fluttershy and Celestia exchanged frowns of concern, unsettled by Discord's listless attitude.

Fluttershy cleared her throat and began to speak loudly, holding up an apple pie she made for all (mainly him) to see. "Oh dear me, I worked so hard on this apple pie! I hope nothing HAPPENS to it!" A grin stretched over her face as the chaotic demon's ears visibly perked.

"I know what you mean, Fluttershy," Celestia responded, tauntingly teetering her cake on her hoof. "Luna and I worked for EONS on this blueberry cake and I'd HATE for it to be ruined!" Both giggling girls noted Discord's head was raised up now, looking over at them, his chaotic instincts un-repressable now.

With two white pops of light the blueberry pie was now a large, towering mud pie, with wiggling worms darting in and out of the brown mounds of dirt. The blueberry cake was now a cheese cake. Literally. A cheese cake – swiss with holes.

Relatively back to his normal self, Discord howled with laughter, pointing a talon towards the chaotic mess he had created. The amused grins on the girls' faces delved more into evil sneers as they suddenly leaped on the spirit, smushing the dirt and muck into his much deserving face as the spirit muddled between laughter and disgusted protests and gags as the worms wiggled over him.

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Smiles and happiness had lasted just about as long as the desserts at the picnic (when Discord kindly poofed them back to normal), as the spirit once again found himself having fallen back into a sore, depressed state. He spent the evening tummy down in his bed, declining an invitation to go star gazing with his love and little Flutter Butter. Truth be told, Discord just felt...upset. Dejected, depressed, sore, tired; there were a lot of words to describe it. He even felt unloved. Oh sure, being the Spirit Of Chaos, he didn't particularly care if he was unloved or not, but....it was his father. The only one who's possible hatred mattered. Well, it wouldn't feel too nice if his fiance, little sister, and Fluttershy hated him either.

You're being an idiot and you know it, common sense hissed at him, the only part of his brain that barely ever got a word in edgewise. It's your father and he loves you. He's simply..rough around the edges. Pfft-ha! That was putting it mildly.

Don't do this Discord, don't do that Discord. Why can't you be more like Celestia and Luna, Discord? Why must you cause so much trouble, Discord? He may as well just ask him: "why do you have to be you, Discord?" If his father couldn't accept him the way he was then that was just fine.

Discord shut his scarlet eyes, darkening the room, and taking a deep breath when his eyes stung with a familiar threat. Just fine... The scarlet eyes shot open, glinting in the dark with fear when the spirit realized he had forgotten to put his father's stuff away earlier. Didn't want to give his Dad any more of a reason to whip him (but did he ever need one?)

The hallway was devoid of life, but Discord knew well enough that only a few of the castle's inhabitants were in bed; that being Fluttershy and Celestia. His mother was still outside, probably having a conversation with Luna about the dumb stars, while his father would be doing last minute 'royalty work' for the next two hours.

Discord hovered quietly into his parents' bedchambers, slipping past the violet curtain and into the blackened room. The window was open, curtains whistling as a wind caressed them and the papers on the bed. He managed to pounce on them before the wind took them in a breeze.

Once the spirit's eyes laid on the stack of papers, he snorted and wished he had let the wind take them. Haphazardly raising a claw, a magic hue slammed the shutters and Discord sifted bitterly through the papers. Photos. Photos of sweet little Tia and Lulu. Of course he was there, but if Aegeus had a choice he'd probably have taken him out of the photo. There were a lot more photos of the girls than there were him.

Of course, during childhood, Discord simply wasn't around his parents as much as their real kids were. It was part of the whole betrothed plan: that he and Celestia wouldn't truly grow up raised together, and Honey Dew had separate lessons to teach Discord (about harmony) so he could never join the girls and their studies.

Resentment and clashes between Discord and his father were as normal as the sun in the day and the moon at night. The two were so contrasting in personality within every aspect it was a wonder how they managed to live with each other. Every day Discord did something to irk his father and almost every day he had to submit to one of the following: a scathing lecture, a grounding from his magic, or a spanking. Not fun. And at this age, at an adult one day set to rule, it hadn't changed (his currently burning bottom could speak for that).

Why didn't Dad just save us both the trouble and leave me out there to die when they found me as a kid? Why doesn't he just come out with the truth about me and admit he just doesn't care? Why did I ever choose to move back here?

The miserable, painful rhetoric and berating continued inside his head as Discord carefully re-stacked the papers in the boxes, not even up to using any magic at all (an immediate call for concern) and only letting his trembling fingers pick up and place pages.

I could do for some nice chocolate milk after today's ordeal. Some nice chocolate milk and cotton candy cookies with pickles sandwiched between them. He forced the pain in his heart and rear from his mind, tossing it out the window with a broken ornament and snickering as some servant from below gave a yelp.

I don't care about what Dad thinks. Nope. Not at all. Nope nope nope. Sneering casually to himself, Discord moved to put away the last of his father's papers. Just a few more things to put away and then he could go resume his game with CheesPants!

A particular, worn out, rather colorful stack of papers caught Discord's eye. The spirit curiously pulled out the large stack, snorting to himself, guessing it was probably his father's letters or something. Heavy bitterness returning, Discord angrily yanked out the sheets.

And his eyes filled.

It was a picture. A terribly drawn picture with scribbles of crayons leaping outside the lines and limbs all different sizes. It was done by what looked like a three year old. Him as a three year old. It had been ages since he'd seen it, but he recognized every detail in the picture. A glance at another drawing revealed pink clouds and a badly misshapen Aegeus and Astraia; drawn when he was six. They were all here. Every picture, ever gift he had ever made for his father.

The draconequus felt the strings around his heart tighten almost impossibly, constricting his breathing, his vision compromised with the annoying onslaught of tears. After all these years, with how terrible and ugly the drawings were, Aegeus had kept them all in their own special box.

The spirit of chaos rubbed at his exhausted, moist eyes, suddenly feeling as if sleep would be impossible. Glancing at the shutters, Discord commanded them open with a wave of power, and darted out the window.

Mismatched reptilian and furry, brown legs thudded hard against the hill outside, right in front of the magic generated targets that were awaiting the arrival of somepony to finally play with them after such a long time of being abandoned. Well, conflicting parts of his mind and heart pushing him to anger, Discord intended to do just that.

The spirit of chaos hovered at the drawn line down the center of the dirt, illuminating the dark, shadow cast area with a vibrant glow of golden flames from his paw. Like the winning pitch in a baseball game, Discord hurled the magic orb, and it crashed through the target, splintering it into kindling. He watched the broken pieces of wood rise and reform with a bright flash, the target clattering back to the earth, good as new.

It was his father's idea to create these weird, virtually indestructible targets. Even as a youngling entity of chaos he remembered being ushered out on evenings, sometimes with the girls, aiming candy cane spears and water balloons and all sorts of stuff. His father had frowned upon that, telling him it was a way to exercise true power and magic, not silly little jokes. That had hurt.

Yet Discord floated there, fighting with 'true magic', casting all sorts of energy balls and wicked dark pulses, shattering the targets and watching them rebuild themselves. If he was so angry with his father then why wasn't he throwing pies at the targets and jello bombs just to spite him?

"Good evening, son." Aegeus watched the flustered draconequus stumble in shock, and he quickly stilled his colt with magic before Discord could fall on his sore bottom and awaken relatively everyone in Canterlot with anguished screams.

"You scared me." The draconequus didn't glance at his father, keeping beady vermillion locked on the target, focusing his anger into his magic and splintering the entire row of targets with a thunderous magic wave.

"What are you doing?" the king asked, fluffing his wings. He could tell his son was very upset; the look on his face wasn't just concentration.

Not even a beat, although Discord resisted the urge to roll his eyes and snap at the stallion. What did it look like? "Training." Aegeus stepped in front of him, and Discord let the powering spark in his talon fizzle to nothing.

"Well..." The king's sunset eyes twinkled mysteriously, making the draconequus arch a bushy eyebrow, but otherwise ignore it. When he hopped to the side to power another blow, he tightly pursed his lips as his father jumped in front again.

"The targets are not worthy opponents." And with that, Aegeus wings flared out until they were practically flat in the air, slicing through the wind as they struck out. He ignited his horn, and the spirit stared at him, eying his father's face to the glowing horn. "Whenever you're ready!"

Discord wasn't about to pass up a chance to train with and (maybe) kick his Dad's flank; it was a very rare opportunity since his parents were always too busy with royal affairs to spar with him. Training with Tia and Lulu was only fun to a certain extent.

Shrugging, the chaotic creature let a ball of crackling fire grow in his palm, watching it as it spun, gradually gaining speed. The moment Discord glanced up, a blur of white slammed into his face. The spirit stumbled as a coconut cream pie suddenly landed smack-dab in the center of his face, dripping down the positively dumbfounded draconequus's muzzle and creating a foamy puddle beneath him.

Aegeus's eyes shone with an eager, playful lilt, while Discord's visibly read: "who are you and what have you done with my father?!" The response was for the king to hurl a few water balloons at his son. Usually taking it as a call to arms and would be gleefully, mercilessly pelting his opponent with gummy worms and gum balls, Discord could only stand there.

"Come on, son, don't wimp out on me now!" Aegeus shouted over to him, undeniable amusement in his voice and expression at how hilariously shocked his boy looked. At last, after ages, a grin spread over the twisted muzzle – the kind that always made Aegeus's heart warm.

"Hohoho, wimp out, you say~? I shall do no such thing!" And Discord had already summoned a hefty, large tower of pies, making the meager little cupcake sized one his father threw pale in comparison to his. "You ready for a duel, old man?"

Aegeus stood there as still as stone, face expressionless, unmoving, unblinking. Instantly, Discord was heavily regretting his words, wishing he could suck them back in his mouth and keep them there forever.

Nomorespankingnomorespanking! His father was drawing closer, and the moment Discord heard the deadly whistle from those wings he was certain his painful, backside-less fate was sealed. Sure enough, the younger immortal was suddenly on his stomach. He was ready to weep, shutting his eyes and waiting.

Splash! Splash! Splish! Squish! Squash! The draconequus shrieked out as much as he could through the onslaught of coconut cream, lime jello, and pudding bombs, unsure how to react as his father pelted him mercilessly with a variety of desserts.

"Wha-wha!" Discord pushed himself up enough to look at the elder stallion – only to get a bowl of fruit salad in the face.

"Well, I wasn't about to slam you onto your rear! Now, that would be just cruel!" His father hovered above him, wings eagerly flapping and drawing closer. He had never seen such a playful look on his old man's (oh no, don't call him that!) face. The draconequus hovered inches above the ground, and then flipped over onto his back. Big mistake.

The magnificent, cream colored wings, golden statures and all flapped insistently, creating a large wind and giving the effect of a helicopter. Discord pushed against his father's hooves as they drew near, but ultimately found his old man gaining the upper hoof. Discord shrieked as those dastardly wings flapped against his belly. Oh cheap shot, cheap shot!

Why the tummy! Whaaa-hy always there!? "N-nooooo, Dad-! Daddy-!" he yelped amidst the laughing wails, body twisting and kicking, yet finding himself immobile, subconsciously realizing his father had him paralyzed in a magic glow.

"Dad! Daaaa-haaad, nooo!" The dracoenquus howled and shrieked, glancing up through mirthful tears at the playful and malicious gleam in Aegeus's eyes. "W-wasn't I pu-punished en-hehehe-ough today?!"

"This isn't punishment, it's for old times' sake!" Aegeus shouted over Discord's laughter, amused by his poor son's disoriented attempts to grab and swipe at his wings. As a punishment for Discord's defiance, he flapped much harder. The king ceased his torturous assault when his poor colt was just about unconscious from hysterics, gray face having blanched several shades of pink. Discord had the last blow with a final key lime pie to his father's face.

Rather than retaliate with hoof fulls of cakes and tarts, Aegeus only wiped the green slime off his face and lowered a hoof to his son. Discord was understandably reluctant to take it and assume it was a gesture of good will and innocence as he stared at his father.

The sight of the elder stallion smiling at him, that poker faced frown looking like it never even existed, those sunset eyes so kind and gentle...and compassionate. It was rare enough seeing a smile cross his father's face, but to see it directed to him...

Discord stared at his father without even seeing him, trembling, mismatched fingers taking the hoof, a lot tighter than he needed to. He continued to stare at the alicorn as he was gently pulled up.

"Good night, son." That was all that needed to be said. No need for hugs, for a kiss, for any sappy words, and no need for anymore words. For some reason that soft, gentle sentence and the sincere smile just made all of Discord's anger and pain – both emotional and physical – dissipate like storm clouds.

Part of the spirit wanted to desperately shower himself in hydrochloric acid just to rid himself of the evening's disgusting sentiment, while another part, the little boy part, felt the threat of tears. In the end, Discord merely gave his father a small nod and extended his wings, soaring back up through the castle window.

Perching on the ledge like a bird, an alabaster form was waiting for him, smiling with those gentle, violet eyes. Her velvet soft cheek rubbed against his, and over the pastel mane Discord could see a small saffron form curled up at the edge of the bed.

"Flutter Butter fell asleep?"

"Got tired of waiting for you," Celestia giggled, embracing the creature. "Where were you?"

The spirit glanced outward to the rising Canterlot hills, sighting the lone, proud form bathed in Luna's moonlight, standing at the very edge of the cliff, his wings flared proudly, spiraled, pointed horn glowing as it brought out an array of stars. The spirit kept his arm around his love, but his eyes never left his father's back. Entranced scarlet met soft sunset as the irises locked, each conveying mutual feelings and the private, secret love between a father and child.

Clearing his throat and smiling, Discord closed the shutters. "I just had...something to do before bed."

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(I've had this on deviantart for a while and realized that today, Father's Day, is definitely the best day to post it. I have another on deviantart not done yet called "Mutual Love", but I don't think I'll post it on here. Discord pretty much falls into a depression in the second part and stops doing chaos completely, and that causes him to slowly die since chaos is his entire being.

Pretty much every Discord and Aegeus fic contains Discord tormenting the heck out of his father and usually getting his hide tanned for it. Because that's their ever loving relationship. Really though, although it's hard to believe, Discord is actually Aegeus's 'favorite' per say, and despite his extreme gruffness, he loves the chocolate milk out of his son. And Discord just looooves Daddy. Hehe. Really, this relationship has to be my favorite out of them all~

I'm thinking, along with "Distorted Worlds", I'm going to have a fic perhaps named "From Cradle To Corruption" of Discord and the princess's life from birth to the time they were all split. So to Luna going into the moon I suppose.)