Part 1 - The Slammed Door
It’s almost kind of funny to consider just how worthless gold really is when you think about it. A geology student I’d met at a party back when I was in school told me that gold was actually the weakest natural metal. Easily bent. Easily beaten. Only valuable because ponies assign it worth. Because it looks pretty on the outside. I guess that makes my name and the cutie mark that goes with it only fitting. A superficial heart is only capable of giving superficial love.
Currently I sit before the open wine cabinet, gazing at the fine collection we’d accumulated over the years. My reflection stared back at me from the glass, my dark pink coat and red and yellow mane and tail slightly grayer than I remembered. As I sat in place, contemplating making the mistake I’d managed to avoid making for a long time, the events of the past hour played back on an endless loop. At least, I’m pretty sure it’s been an hour since the uniformed stallion with the short cut mane showed up at my front door.
“Mrs. Golden Heart?” he had asked when I’d answered the door. I had bristled a bit at the use of my former title. Sure, it was still technically a few weeks before the paperwork would go through, but in my mind, I was no longer a Mrs.
Nevertheless, I nodded, seeing no point in correcting him. If anything, I was more curious about why an officer of Equestria’s military was at my doorstep—I didn’t have any relatives in the Guard as far as I was aware.
Clearing his throat nervously, the stallion reached into a satchel at his side and produced a piece of parchment. “As the next of kin of Doctor Arcane Star, it is my duty to inform you that as of eighteen hundred hours yesterday, your husband was killed while working in the line of duty.” He held the parchment out, looking at me with sincere, sympathetic eyes. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t remember much of the exchange after that, my mind was just a numb haze. I think I’d asked him how long Star had been working with the military and the stallion said that he’d been working as head researcher on a special classified project for about a week. It was the first I’d heard about it.
As the officer departed, I shut the door and went to the living room couch, where I sat and read through the document in my possession. Apparently, he’d been on a train that had gone off the rails a few miles south of a small farming town called Ponyville. There wasn’t a lot of information on what caused the crash—apparently some sort of obstruction on the tracks was to blame—but the report stated that the other passengers on the train only suffered minor injuries.
Reading and rereading the document, I felt… nothing. Sure, my relationship with Arcane Star had been… rocky for much of our marriage, but I thought the knowledge that my husband of over thirty years was now dead would make me feel something. A lump formed in my throat as the thought filled me with sudden guilt; had we really fallen so far out of love that I can’t even be bothered to feel sad that he’s gone?
Pushing that unsettling thought from my mind, I got up from the couch and went to the study. The lump in my throat returned when I opened the door and was assaulted by the smell of musty books and dry paper. His smell. He used to spend days cooped up in here with his research whenever he wasn’t traveling the far corners of Equestria chasing ridiculous fantasies. It took me a moment to realize that the pain in my throat wasn’t grief when it occurred to me that even now, thinking about him only made me annoyed.
Forcing myself into the room, I sat down at the old wooden desk and had to dig through a mess of books, paper and other assorted junk before I could find a blank piece of parchment and a quill. A picture of what appeared to be an absurd piece of artwork depicting some sort of bipedal creature in unusual armor looked up at me from the desk, but I pushed it aside along with the rest. It was nothing but a cold reminder of the “work” that had kept Star away from us for all these years.
Regardless of my feelings, there was still work to be done. The rest of my family needed to be informed, and funeral preparations needed to be made. I decided to start with my second oldest. After all, she still lived here in Canterlot, and if I used an express mail service I could probably get a letter to her by tomorrow.
Dear Moon Dancer,
I stared at the blank page for who knows how long. How exactly do you even start a letter like this? ‘Hey, your father just died, think you can put those organizational skills to work and help with the funeral arrangements?’ Then again, even if I could come up with something decent to write, there was no guarantee I’d hear back from her. She hadn’t exactly kept in touch for the past couple of years.
Setting aside Moon Dancer’s letter for the time being, I grabbed another piece of parchment and started writing to my oldest, Coffee Cream. She was working as an assistant at a studio in Applewood, and would probably need a lot of notice to get time off to come to Canterlot. As I finished her letter, I heard the front door open and two high-pitched voices bickering as they entered.
Forcing a smile on my face, I stepped out of the study into the front hall, where my forced smile turned a little genuine at the sight of the two tiny foals obliviously tracking dirt into the house as they raced around each other. A little brown colt named Choo-Choo and an orange filly called Helium Mix. A pair of twins with nothing in common but their sire, whether he happened to be my husband or… somepony else.
As much as they were a reminder of just how messed up my family life has become, seeing them always brought me no shortage of joy, and I was happy not to have to think about recent developments for a few precious minutes.
“Choo-Choo, Helium. What did I tell you about wiping your hooves off before coming in?” I chided gently.
The two foals froze in place, like they’d just been caught in the act of stealing snacks. “Sorry, mommy,” Choo-Choo said, bringing out the puppy dog eyes. Seeing this, his sister followed suit.
I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as I pulled them both into a hug. “Don’t worry, sweetie. I’m sure I’ll be able to find it in my heart to forgive both of you…” I said, before giving both of the little foals a sly grin. “After you get some towels from the kitchen and clean up your mess, then go straight upstairs to do your homework!”
“UUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh…” Choo-Choo groaned continuously as he trudged towards the kitchen, his head thrown back in an over-dramatic fashion. “...uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh….” I was actually kind of impressed when he came back with a pair of towels and was still letting out the same exaggerated groan.
For her part, Helium Mix seemed perfectly happy with her small punishment and she smiled up at me as she wiped up tiny muddy hoofprints.
“So, how was school?” I asked as they worked.
“Popsicle Stick tried to kiss me today!” Helium chirped.
“He did?” I asked, playing up the drama a bit. “And did you let him?”
“Yeah she did,” Choo-Choo chimed in. “Let him have it!”
Helium grinned proudly as she proclaimed, “I headbutted him!”
Before I could stop myself, I let out a loud snort of laughter. I knew that I probably should have chastised her for getting into a fight at school, but I could only keep laughing as the image played out again in my head. I suppose I could always have a serious talk with her if it became a recurring issue, but for now it seemed to be an isolated incident, so I felt okay about letting it slide this time.
“Well, I guess all the colts will think twice before asking you out on a date in the future!” I teased.
Soon enough, the pair of them finished their little chore and then obediently headed to their rooms to get started on their homework. Little Helium was still talking excitedly about her day, and I had to ask her to save some stories for dinner.
“Is Daddy gonna be here?” she asked in response.
The question froze me in place and my eyes briefly darted to the living room where a certain document was still sitting on the couch.
Seeing my quizzical look, Helium continued. “I thought I saw him yesterday when I was coming home from school. That means he’s back from his trip now, right?”
Before I knew it, the smile on my face was false again. “Your father’s… the thing about that is….” I wasn’t sure what was going to be harder: Explaining that Arcane and I had been in the process of separating, or explaining that he was dead. “I’ll… explain later. Now go on. I’m sure you’ve got lots of homework to do.”
I watched the little filly head upstairs with a little less enthusiasm than earlier before I turned around and snatched the parchment from the living room couch. After putting it away in Arcane Star’s office, I headed straight for the kitchen.
Now, here I stood in a staring contest with the cupboard filled with imported bottles. As much as I gave him crap for his neglectful custom, Arcane Star gave back as good as he got when it came to my own habits. I’m not proud to say that part of what motivated me to keep such a long streak of sobriety was to give him less ammunition in our fights. However, now that he was gone….
I reached into the cupboard and pulled out the first bottle I could get. Chateau Everfree, 871 A.L. However, I made no move to open it. I had this unshakeable feeling that Star was going to walk in as soon as I poured myself a glass and start lecturing me again about self-control. That the military stallion and the parchment he delivered had simply been a twisted daydream. None of it felt real. How could it be? After all, I’d just spoken to Star yesterday afternoon before he….
Oh, Celestia….
The events of yesterday afternoon suddenly came rushing back. All of a sudden, I could see Arcane Star’s tan coat and short blue mane as he stood at the front door exactly where the military pony had stood hours before.
“Hi, Goldie,” he had greeted quietly. There wasn’t any warmth in it. Just pure tension. “Can I come in?”
I’d stood in the doorframe with the door only half open. Normally, I might have let him in—we’d lived together here for years; most of his things were still here even—but the sight of him standing there so casually ignited a furious fire in my gut.
“No. No you may not,” I had all but spat. “What, you disappear off the face of the planet for a week without so much as telling me where you’re going, and you think you can just… j-just show up out of the blue?!”
Arcane Star had the audacity to let out an exasperated groan. “Goldie, can we please not do this now? I’m only in town for a couple of days, and I just….”
“Oh, so you’re going back on your wild goose chase that soon, huh?”
“Well, if you must know, I got myself a job,” he said calmly, but with a hint of indignance.
“Oh, what job, Star? What university’s actually willing to hire you after you’ve spent the last forty years destroying your reputation?!”
“It’s not a university, it’s….” Curiously, Arcane Star’s hoof drifted over to a briefcase on the ground beside him that I hadn’t initially noticed. “Look, I can’t tell you what it is right now. But in time—give it a year, maybe two—once our project gets publishable results, you’ll see that I was right about everything!”
I couldn’t believe it. After all this time, he was still determined to prove that his theories on the existence of extraterrestrials were true!
“That won’t change anything,” I had said coldly. “Our divorce papers have already been filed and in a few weeks they’ll be fully processed.”
“Then there’s still time for us to undo this.” Then, to my surprise, Star actually stepped up to me and took my hoof in his, looking at me with nothing but absolute sincerity. “I want to make things right, and I think I finally have the means to do it. I just need you to wait a bit longer….”
The way he’d spoken to me in that moment was almost like the days when we’d first started dating. Back when we were in love and willing to do anything for each other. I looked right back into his eyes and tried desperately to find something from that time.
I thought back to our very first years together. Eating out at the most obscure, hole-in-the-wall bars and giggling to ourselves about the kind of characters we saw there. Taking long walks along the mountain trails outside of Canterlot. Looking up at the stars in the night sky, and trying to imagine what the worlds light years away looked like. When Arcane Star talked about those distant worlds, his face would light up in the most adorable way that made me grin from ear to ear. Now when he did it, it only made me sick. When did the things we loved most about each other become things we resented?
“No. I… I-I can’t,” I said as I had pushed away his hoof. “I’m sorry, but I can’t spend another moment in this lifetime waiting for you! Wondering when you’re coming back. If you’re coming back! I have made a full-time job out of waiting for you while raising Moon Dancer and Coffee Cream, and I’ll be damned if I do it again for the twins!”
I started to close the door, but Star held it open with a desperate hoof.
“Wait, please…” he said. “They’re my foals too, Goldie!”
By that point, I didn’t feel anything for Star but anger. “You certainly didn’t seem to think so whenever you left us for months at a time!”
Of course, that could have been my fault as much as it had been his. After all, neither of us were one-hundred percent certain that he was actually their father. We’d argued for a bit longer before I finally decided I’d heard enough.
“Please. The foals need their father,” Arcane Star had said.
“You should have thought of that when you were their father.”
The sound of the door slamming in his face and my own cold words echoed in my mind as it finally dawned on me with pure horror what exactly I’d done.
“As of eighteen hundred hours yesterday, your husband was killed…” the military messenger had said.
“I’m only in town for a couple of days…” my husband had told me before being killed in a train crash miles away not three hours later.
It was then that I realized…. Maybe if I’d not been so stubborn….
Maybe if I hadn’t been so eager to slam that door….
“Oh Celestia no…” I whimpered, covering my mouth with a foreleg when I realized I’d spoken out loud. The world started spinning around me and I couldn’t breathe as I realized the true source of the guilt I’d been feeling ever since I heard the news.
It’s my fault.
Without another moment’s hesitation, I found the bottle opener and opened the wine in my hooves. One or two drinks wouldn’t hurt, right? At least, not as much as the realization that I….
I didn’t even bother to pour myself a proper glass.
I awoke to a deep, skull rattling pounding in my head. I cracked an eye open, and the early morning sunlight creeping in through the window was blinding.
Wait… morning?!
Immediately I sat up, my pounding head protesting the sudden movement. How could it be morning already? I barely even remember eating dinner last night! The reason for that became apparent as I took in my surroundings and found that my worst fears had been realized.
I wasn’t even in my own bed, but on the living room couch. Four wine bottles sat on the table in the middle of the room, all of them half empty or less. With panic, I realized that the entire previous evening was a blank, and I currently had no idea whether my foals were okay. Fighting the stomach-churning nausea and my pounding head, I stood and staggered my way through the house to the stairs and called up.
“Helium? Choo-Choo? Are you awake?” I called up, my voice hoarse. I wasn’t even sure what time it was, but considering how high the sun was in the sky, it was a safe bet that it was later than I would have liked.
“Choo-Choo?! Helium?!” I called again after several seconds passed with no answer.
“Relax, Mom,” a mare’s voice—not a foal’s—came from the kitchen. “I took them to school this morning. They’re fine.”
I recognized the voice immediately, even if it felt like I hadn’t heard it in a very long time. Minding my throbbing head, I carefully walked into the kitchen and found a familiar young mare sitting at the table, a rather large book open before her. I couldn’t remember how long it’s been since I’d seen that pale cream coat and maroon mane with moderate purple and violet streaks. What was more, she was wearing the black sweater I’d given her for her birthday.
“Moon Dancer?” I said as I looked at her dark purple eyes through the large glasses she wore. They looked to have been broken and crudely repaired with white tape. When had that happened?
My daughter said nothing, merely pushing a glass of water across the table towards me with a distasteful look. I took it gratefully and took a swig, gulping as much of it down as I could in one breath.
When I was finished, I set the glass down and gave my daughter an uneasy smile. “It’s good to see you, Honey, but… what are you doing here? I thought you were still busy with your studies….”
Wordlessly, Moon Dancer levitated a newspaper page towards me in a pale gray aura. It didn’t take me long to realize that it was this morning’s Equestria Daily, and based on the pained look on my daughter’s face, I had a sinking feeling that I knew what kind of article I was going to find. Sure enough, I unfolded the paper and near the bottom of the second page, I saw it.
Tragic Train Crash Ends Life
A black and white photo of a train halfway off the tracks sat below the title, the engine car on its side. I skimmed through the article until I saw the name sticking out like a sore leg. Arcane Star.
“I… I wanted to ask you whether it was true,” Moon Dancer started. “But… when I came over and found you in this, uh, state… yeah….” Moon Dancer’s sad look hardened. “To be honest, I’m trying really, really hard not to be angry with you right now. I had to get Choo-Choo and Helium ready for school while you were passed out on the couch. The whole time, they kept telling me about ‘how silly Mommy was last night.’”
With an agonized groan, I held a hoof to my forehead as an entirely different kind of headache began to emerge. The last thing I needed right now was more guilt.
“I’m sorry, Honey,” was all I could muster.
My daughter simply acknowledged my apology with a nod. “Like I said, I’m trying not to be angry considering… what happened,” she said, lifting her glasses so she could wipe her eyes. “Even still… I-I thought we were past this, Mom! I know that things between you and Dad were complicated, and learning that he’s gone must have been hard, but… dammit, did it just not occur to you that this would be hard for us too?!”
I could only sit there and nod as my daughter lectured me; a complete reversal of our usual roles.
“I came here because I needed you, Mom!” Moon Dancer continued, her voice rising as her eyes grew glossy again. “I wanted to talk to you, to know that everything was gonna be okay. Instead, I found myself cleaning up your mess. Again!”
I spread my forelegs wide. It was a bit melodramatic, but I didn’t really care at the moment. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Moon Dancer. I already apologized!”
“I just want to make sure you understand how serious this is.” My daughter looked away with a scowl. “Whatever. Let’s just… talk about something else, okay?” She looked back at me with a more relaxed expression as she asked, “How’s work?”
I tried to assume more relaxed posture myself now that we’ve switched topics. “It’s moving along. Nothing’s been made official yet, but we’ve been speaking with Countess Coloratura’s manager about the possibility of her doing a charity tour to raise money for our organization.”
Feed the Foals was the charity organization I worked for, although my position as chief manager of the financial department meant I wasn’t involved with any of the negotiation with Coloratura’s ponies.
“Sorry, Countess who?” Moon Dancer asked.
“The latest popular music artist, dear,” I said, grinning a bit at the thought of me being more “hip” with the popular music scene than my daughter. “Razzle Dazzle is currently number one in the charts!”
“Oh.” Moon Dancer was never one to keep up with popular trends.
“How about you? What do you get up to out on your own?” I asked, grinning impishly. “Have a secret coltfriend you don’t want to tell me about?”
Moon Dancer gave one of her trademark eyerolls she seemed to save specifically for our conversations. “No, Mom. I’ve got way more important things to be thinking about than dating!”
“So, fill me in. What important things have been keeping you soooo busy?”
Moon Dancer shifted uncomfortably. “Just, y’know… studying ‘n stuff.”
“With all the studying you’ve been doing, you must be the smartest pony in Equestria by now!” Then, with my infinite wisdom, I opened up a can of worms that should probably have remained shut. “Surely, the smartest pony in Equestria can use that big brain of hers to make time for her family.”
“Uugh…” Moon Dancer sighed. “This again?”
“We don’t hear from you at all, Honey. Surely you’re not so busy you can’t even find time to write every once in awhile!”
“I wrote to you last Hearth’s Warming!” she argued.
“Only because I asked you to in my letter!” I argued back.
“I don’t even see what the big deal is!”
“How about not making your mother worry?!”
“What’s there to worry about? I literally read books all day!”
“It would just be good to hear from you every once in awhile!” I shouted, not even aware I was raising my voice. “Even Coffee Cream frequently writes, and she’s halfway across Equestria!”
I should have just kept my mouth shut after that, but something about my daughter’s tone got under my skin. I wasn’t sure whether it was the hangover or the whirlwind of emotions running through me that morning, but before I knew it I was saying something that I would immediately regret.
“Honestly, Moon Dancer, would you even be here talking to me right now if your father hadn’t literally just died?!”
Moon Dancer opened her mouth, but all that came out were incredulous grunts. For my part, I had my own gaping mouth covered by my hooves as I tried desperately to think of something to say to repair the damage. The following long silence was made all the more painful for both of us when we realized that my words were right, despite how much I wished I could take them back.
For whatever reason, Moon Dancer had become extremely reclusive ever since her birthday two years ago. I’d spoken to her occasionally in the intervening time, but it was always because I had been the one to reach out to her. She always said she was simply too busy with her studies, but we both knew there was more to it than that. Taking in her appearance again, I noticed how dirty and ragged the sweater she wore was. How unkempt her mane and tail were.
“Honey, I’m…” I started, but Moon Dancer was already getting up and trotting to the front door.
“Sorry, I was wrong: It looks like we’re both not ready to deal with this yet,” she said coldly as she opened the door and stepped out. “I’ll get started on the funeral arrangements. You just… take a day or two. Get your head together.”
Moon Dancer shut the door firmly behind her.
I knocked three times on the pale red door and waited, looking up at the simple townhouse in Middle Canterlot. I had taken my daughter’s advice and taken the day off work, but quickly found myself growing restless and in need of a distraction. That was when I found myself headed toward the abode of an old friend.
In a little less than a minute, the door opened and an older unicorn stallion stood in its frame. He had a mint green coat and a blond mane and tail fading to gray, along with a matching goatee. Somehow, I managed to forget that Lyonel Heartstrings had put on weight every time I saw him; that he was no longer the strapping young stallion who was my friend in youth. Given the surprised way he looked at me, I wondered if he thought the same thing looking at me. Then again, maybe he just wasn’t expecting to see me today.
“Hey, Ly,” I greeted with a tired smile.
“Goldie?” he said with a tilt of his head. “This is certainly a surprise, though definitely not an unpleasant one.” He smiled back. “How are you?”
“I’ve been better,” I answered. “You busy?”
“Not terribly—one of the perks of working from home.” His smile faded as he studied me more closely. “Goldie, is something wrong?”
I nodded. “I’ve been having a rough couple of days. Was hoping we could talk?”
A playful smile managed to return to his face. “Well, I didn’t want to say anything, but you certainly look like a mare who’s had a rough night!”
Usually, I didn’t mind when Lyonel teased me a bit. In fact, I enjoyed our banter. But I wasn’t in the mood for it right now.
Ever perceptive, Lyonel picked up on this right away. “Would you like to join me for lunch? Maybe talk while we hit up Donut Joe’s?”
The promise of donuts and coffee in the near future put a genuine smile on my face, and I nodded. “I’d like that. There’s… something you should probably know.”
So without saying much more, Lyonel and I left the vicinity of his house and walked towards Donut Joe’s. We kept our conversation light on the way: I didn’t want to delve into everything that was happening until we were sitting comfortably in a diner with plenty of sweets to choose from.
“So, how are things?” I asked as we walked along.
“Not too bad. Just got back from visiting Lyra in Ponyville, actually,” he said with a smile. When I asked him how she was doing, he replied, “She’s doing great! She’s seeing somepony now, and they seem very happy.”
His look suddenly turned serious as he continued, “What about your own daughter? You know, Lyra still asks about Moon Dancer whenever we see each other. Is she doing alright? Have you heard from her at all?”
“I spoke to her quite recently, actually,” was all I said. I didn’t want to get into my problems with my daughter at this particular time. Not when there was so much else on my mind.
“Well, be sure to tell her that her friends miss her.”
The rest of our walk passed in comfortable silence until we reached Donut Joe’s. The place wasn’t too crowded, with only a few ponies at the bar and a couple of tables. Donut Joe himself was serving up his namesake pastries to customers from behind the counter, and when he saw us come in he nodded, indicating that somepony would be with us shortly.
Once we sat down and made our orders, Lyonel decided to get down to brass tacks. “So, what’s troubling you, Goldie?”
I took a breath. Guess this was as good a time as any to start. “Have you read the paper this morning?”
“No, I haven’t gotten around to reading past the front page,” Lyonel said with a shake of his head. “Why?”
“Look… it’s about Arcane Star….”
Lyonel just groaned. “Ugh, what did he do this time? Go looking for alien artifacts in the Princess’s bathroom?”
“He’s dead.”
It got so quiet at that moment that I could actually hear the low murmurs of the few other patrons of Donut Joe’s as clearly as if they were sitting at our table with us. Lyonel stared at me gob-smacked, opening and closing his mouth a few times before his brain could finally process words again.
“He’s… really?” A dead stare from me was the only answer he needed. “Sweet Celestia…. When…?”
“A few days ago. I just found out yesterday.” I then proceeded to tell him about the military pony that showed up on my doorstep and the train crash.
In truth, I wasn’t entirely sure how Lyonel would take the news. He and Arcane Star had been friends ever since they were in school, but recent years had changed that. Lyonel had lost his job at Canterlot University after he and Star had made their third expedition to the Frozen North. The two had fought after that, and I don’t think they’ve spoken to each other since.
“Celestia and Luna both…” Lyonel said again, reaching across the table to put a hoof on mine. “I’m so sorry, Goldie. Are you going to be okay?”
I looked down at the table. “I… I-I don’t know….”
We paused our conversation as the server came back with our orders: a simple latte for Lyonel and a triple-triple with milk and sugar along with a chocolate and cream donut for me. I usually tried to avoid such unhealthy choices when I came here, but at that moment I needed the pick me up.
“Do you maybe want to talk about how you’re feeling right now?” Lyonel asked when our server left. “I know that you and Star were going through another of your famed rough patches, but I’m sure this must still be hard. To be honest… this is pretty hard for me to digest, too.”
“It’s my fault…” I said quietly, trying to get my suddenly trembling forelegs under control.
“What? Goldie, how could you possibly think…?”
“He stopped by… the day he died,” I said, taking a sip of my coffee before continuing. “He wanted to see the kids. Wanted to make things right… and I turned him away.” A terrible ache rose at the back of my throat and my vision blurred as everything began to come to the surface. “If I hadn’t pushed him away… hadn’t quite literally slammed the door in his face, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten on that train, a-and….”
Unable to hold back any longer, I let the dam burst and the tears flow. I felt like such an idiot: I just knew the ponies at the other tables were looking our way. Before I knew it, I felt a pair of forelegs wrap around me and I opened my eyes to see that Lyonel was now beside me, giving me the comfort I desperately needed right then.
“What happened to him wasn’t your fault, okay?” he said tenderly. “You couldn’t have possibly known what would happen, so don’t you think that for even a second, okay?”
I caught him glancing up at the other ponies in the establishment, wordlessly telling them to go back to their drinks, and they did exactly that.
“It’s not just that…” I all but whispered, not even realizing what had truly been bothering me until I started to say it. “What if everything’s been my fault? What if the only reason he distanced himself so much from us was because I’d been pushing him away?”
I certainly took every opportunity I had to remind Star of every way he was inadequate as a husband right up until his death, all the while not demonstrating that I was any better as a wife. Who’s to say I wasn’t the problem rather than him?
“Goldie, Star’s always been one to get wrapped up in his studies and forget that the rest of the world exists. He’s been that way as long as I’ve known him, even before I introduced you,” Lyonel said before giving a single chuckle. “That’s probably where Moon Dancer gets it, now that I think about it.”
“Yeah…” I let out a weak chuckle of my own as I remembered the long nights Arcane Star and Moon Dancer would study together, the little filly ecstatic to be studying with her dad, no matter what the subject. Those were some of the few moments that I was able to forget about his sporadic absence and just enjoy time as a family.
Beginning to feel a little bit better, I allowed myself to relax a little as Lyonel continued to hold me and stroke my back. I will readily admit, I felt very warm and comfortable in his embrace and my mind may have ventured to a few places that may not have been appropriate for someone with his marital status. More than once I had wondered how our lives might have been if Lyonel and I had ended up taking things in a different direction….
But all too soon, Lyonel ended the embrace and gave my back a few final rubs as he asked, “Feeling better?”
I nodded. “Yes, thanks Ly.”
Smiling, Lyonel returned to his seat and his coffee that must’ve gotten cold by now. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments.
“I suppose it’s lucky that nopony else was killed in that crash, considering…” Lyonel stopped himself mid-sentence, and suddenly he looked like he’d just said something he wasn’t supposed to.
“Considering what?” I asked.
Lyonel’s face lost its lighthearted demeanor, and he rubbed his beard awkwardly as he looked away. “Nothing, I… I probably shouldn’t have said anything at all.”
Then the full implications of what he’d said became apparent to me. “Wait, how did you know that Star was the only one killed in the train crash? I don’t think I mentioned that, and you said you hadn’t read about it in the paper.”
Lyonel rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I… I just figured….”
I suddenly thought about the day Star showed up on our doorstep. He had a briefcase that was very firmly sealed now that I remember, and he mentioned being involved with a project he couldn’t exactly talk about. And then there was the fact he had apparently been working with the military on a secret project.
“Ly, you know you’re a terrible liar,” I said, the urgent desperation in my voice enough to get him looking at me once again. “If there’s something you know about Star’s death that I don’t, please tell me.”
Lyonel just sighed and said, “Look, the train crash that you say killed Star… I’d actually heard about it before you mentioned it. Didn’t know that Star was the pony killed, of course, but a friend of mine works for the Ponyville branch of RERC. Apparently the crash was in his branch’s jurisdiction, and he was sent to the scene to make a report.”
I leaned forward as Lyonel continued. It was more than possible that a representative from the Royal Equestrian Rail Company had some information on the crash that wasn’t public knowledge.
“I spoke with him while I was visiting Lyra in Ponyville the other day, and he told me all about how there were a lot of things that didn’t add up. Said there was an unusually strong military presence there, and what was more, the passengers were shaken—said they saw something.”
“Saw what?”
“I don’t know, he didn’t say. But from how he talked about it, it was something unnatural. Alien even. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he spent too much time around Star.”
That word echoed in my mind, and I thought back to all of Arcane Star’s ridiculous research. It seemed impossible, but I had to know for sure.
“Does this friend have a name?”
Despite how intrigued I had been at what Lyonel had told me the other day, after some thought I decided it was probably best that I simply drop the matter and not start poking my nose about. However, when I went back to work the following morning, my boss came into my office and suggested politely but firmly that I take the rest of the week off. I guess I’d been pretty distracted, and he didn’t want it affecting my work.
When I got back home, I was slightly surprised to see the note I’d written for myself still sitting on the dining room table: the piece of paper with a single name on it. I tried to ignore it at first as I occupied myself with various other household chores, but my mind kept going back to the name of Lyonel’s friend at RERC. So against my better judgement, I grabbed the piece of paper and trotted down to the train station. After purchasing tickets, I hopped on the next train to Ponyville.
It wasn’t even an hour before the train pulled into the Ponyville station. It was a testament to how many years I’d lived in Canterlot when I stepped out onto the platform and felt overwhelmed by just how… small everything about the town was. The buildings were all one to two stories tall with thatched roofs, and the dirt and cobblestone streets were devoid of the hustle and bustle I’d grown used to in the capital. Even the train station was a small one story building that was mostly outdoors, with not even a fence separating the platform from the expansive green fields around it.
Of course, this all meant I was able to find the local branch of RERC relatively quickly (especially considering its close proximity to the train station). The office was a small single story building like many of the others around it, but it lacked the more homely appearance of the others, sporting a more utilitarian look befitting a corporate building. When I entered the reception area, I asked for Coltrain, the name Lyonel had given me, telling the young mare at the front desk that I was a visiting friend. The receptionist showed me to his office, and after informing the stallion I was here, left to return to her post.
Coltrain’s office was what some might generously describe as “organized chaos”. A variety of papers were littered across his desk, and I could see more oozing out of the filing cabinets off to the side. Coltrain himself—a rather burly, middle-aged stallion with a dark blue coat and a black mane and tail with a fair bit of stubble on his face—looked up from the forms on his desk and studied me with some hesitation.
“Y’know, when Fizzy told me I had a friend to see me, I was kinda expecting it to be somepony I actually know,” Coltrain said in a deep gravelly voice.
“Sorry Mr. Coltrain, but you don’t actually know me,” I said, laying on the apologetic sweetness. “My name’s Golden Heart, I’m a friend of Lyonel Heartstrings.”
Coltrain’s look of apprehension quickly vanished, and he managed a friendly smile. “Ah, Golden Heart! Ly’s mentioned you a few times. Good to put a face to the name, and a rather pretty face I might add!”
I couldn’t help but smile a little sheepishly at that. I knew I wasn’t exactly a spring chicken anymore, and even if Coltrain wasn’t necessarily my type, it felt good to be complemented by a stallion at least ten years my junior.
“So, what can I do for you, Mrs. Heart?”
“Actually, I was hoping I could ask you some questions,” I said, careful to keep my tone pleasant. I also decided not to object to be referred to as Mrs. even if I bristled internally a little. “About the train that derailed in your area a few days ago.”
Coltrain frowned and his cautious look returned. “Wait, you're not press, are you?”
I actually found myself laughing a bit. “No, of course not! Just a curious old mare.”
“Okay. Well… all of the details you need to know are in the public report,” Coltrain said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
“That’s not what Lyonel told me. He said that you seemed to think there was something strange about this accident.”
Coltrain closed his eyes and sighed before muttering, “I told him that with confidence…” he opened his eyes and gave me an apologetic look. “I’m not really comfortable discussing any of my, uh… personal opinions about company matters.”
“I promise not to spread anything you tell me,” I said. “Nothing you say will leave this office, I swear.”
He still looked uncertain. “I don’t know….”
“I could pay you for your trouble,” I said, glancing into my bit bag. I had brought along a fair amount, and had already purchased a train ticket for my return trip to Canterlot. I had originally been planning to get something so I had a legitimate excuse for coming here, but I suppose I didn’t necessarily have to.
When Coltrain continued to look apprehensive, I looked at him pleadingly, trying to call up every ounce of raw emotion as I begged. “Please… my husband was Arcane Star: the one killed in that crash.” Coltrain’s look softened, and that’s when I knew I had him. “If you know anything about the circumstances surrounding his death, I beg you, tell me!”
I didn’t mention the fact that I had been in the process of divorcing Arcane Star before he died, and simply let the pain and guilt I felt anyway lead my performance. It worked, as I found myself wiping a couple of tears from my eyes. Finally, Coltrain sighed, and stood from his desk to move past me and close the door.
“Sit down, make yourself comfortable,” he said softly as he passed. I looked around the modest office and didn’t see any other chairs, so I sat in place on the simple carpet in front of his desk.
“Right, so just four days ago me and a couple of the other ponies here were sent to investigate the scene of a crash that had apparently just happened a few miles down south for insurance and legal purposes. Local emergency crews were already on scene when we got there,” Coltrain said as he sat back down at his desk.
He then leaned over and spoke quietly. “Right away we noticed that something about the crash was strange. We tried to find damage to the tracks that might’ve caused the accident, but everything looked fine. The engine was on its side, but the rest of the train was still perfectly upright, and we couldn’t figure out what had caused it. Now, usually in a crash like this, ponies are relatively fine. A few bumps and bruises, and maybe they’re a little shaken, but otherwise they’re fine.
“But these ponies weren’t just shaken—they were traumatized. We’d quickly found out there was a fatality—your husband, Faust rest his soul—but even that didn’t add up. We just didn’t see how it was possible a crash like that would have so thoroughly…” Coltrain took another glance at my face, and cleared his throat, grimacing. “I’ll spare you the details, but the body… I only caught a glimpse of it as the authorities dealt with it, but it wasn’t pretty. I didn’t see how that could have happened in the crash.
“So, that’s when we started talking to some of the passengers, and what they said defied all explanation. They told us that it felt like the train had hit something—and a closer look at the damage on the front of the engine confirmed this. Then they said they saw something: A creature unlike anything they’d ever seen before assault and murder Mr. Star.”
I tilted my head, suddenly feeling a pit of fear open up inside me. “What kind of creature, exactly?”
Coltrain shrugged. “Beats me. We interviewed several different passengers separately, and their descriptions were all pretty consistent. A large biped of some kind—two legs, two arms with four or five digits each—kinda like a minotaur, but… different. Said it was covered head to toe in some kind of powerful armor like a second skin. Some ponies said they saw it change color, kinda like a chameleon. Others said it had a layer of energy surrounding it, and a few even said they saw several ghostly figures gathered around it, whispering things. Obviously, it’s hard to separate fact from fiction with these small details, but what’s clear is all of the passengers we spoke to saw a tall armored biped kill Mr. Star with some kind of explosive weapon.”
I stared at him wide-eyed. It seemed completely impossible to believe something like that could exist in Equestria without ever having been seen before now. At least, I was fairly sure that nothing like that had been encountered by ponies before. Now that I was thinking about it, something about that description did seem familiar….
“Oh, you think that’s interesting? Just wait. This next part is the reason I was so hesitant to tell you all of this,” Coltrain said before getting back to his story. “Some time later, the Celestia-damned military showed up. Ponies in fatigues and armor everywhere! There were even a few EBI suits with ‘em!
“Military closed off the entire area. Wouldn’t let anypony leave until the suits had a word with all of us, and I mean all of us. The passengers, the Ponyville response workers, everypony. Took ages to get through ‘em all! Finally, when they got to me and my coworkers, the suits told us to simply disregard everything we’d heard about any ‘alien creature’—their own words, by the way. None of the passengers ever referred to what they saw as an alien.
“The head suit then went into this big, long winded explanation of adrenalin and its effect on a pony’s perception of reality in stressful situations. I’ll admit, I kinda zoned out through a lot of the finer details, but the whole thing smelled like horseapples to me. I even got a bit wise and asked them how they think the train crashed if there was no creature. They simply showed us where a wheel had come off of the main engine, which I thought was strange, considering we’d done a thorough check of the entire thing before they arrived, and found everything in place.”
Coltrain leaned back in his seat and stared off at nothing in particular. “They let us go after that, but not before making a ‘polite suggestion’ not to mention any of this to anyone. Unfortunately, the message was pretty clear to all of us.”
My brain was running at a mile a minute. This was all so surreal, like something out of a sci-fi novel. But if what Coltrain told me was true….
Just what exactly had Arcane Star been involved with?
“I trust you’ll keep your word and not tell anypony about this. That one suit with the glasses… somethin’ about him didn’t sit right with me,” Coltrain said, looking at me in a way that almost seemed fearful. “I’m sorry for your loss. I hope this knowledge has helped you in some way.”
I thanked him before stepping out, but what he’d told me had given me anything but closure. My mind was occupied by nothing but dark thoughts of Equestrian agents and mysterious bipeds in armor. Something about the latter image stuck out to me, and it was all I could do to wait patiently and properly for the next train to Canterlot. I had planned on staying in Ponyville a bit longer—maybe visit Lyra, it has been a while since I’ve seen Lyonel’s daughter—but I suddenly couldn’t ignore the drive to return home.
When I finally stepped through my front door late in the afternoon, I immediately went straight for Arcane Star’s study. I pulled out Obscure Classics: Fine Art You Probably Haven’t Seen—the book that had been open on his desk two days ago when I’d first found out about his fate. Flipping through the pages with my magic, I finally came across the one I was looking for.
The image of a painting sat on one side of the page, depicting a stylized bipedal figure covered head to toe in armor, wearing a helmet that obscured its face, set against a starry background. Its armor was gray except for a few places where it had stripes of yellow. The title Star Man was just beneath it, along with the year: 982 A.L. Everything about it seemed to match the passengers’ description of the thing that attacked the train, as relayed to me by Coltrain. The fact that Arcane Star kept it with the rest of his research was also telling. I wasn’t sure what it all meant—not yet, anyway—but a look at the artist’s name below told me who I wanted to talk to next.
“Mr. Worhay, please. If you could just spare five minutes—less even— to tell me about this painting…” I all but pleaded, holding up the page of the art book with Star Man on it.
Andy Worhay sighed and turned away from his easel. The earth pony artist pushed the pair of glasses up his nose and brushed aside a strand of perfect white mane. “Of all my older works, surely you could find a different one to cover in our interview?” he asked, giving the image in the book a distasteful look.
To my shame, the only reason I was even speaking with Andy Worhay right now was because I was posing as a writer working on a piece based on his starting works.
“Please, everypony knows the stories behind your other works,” I lied. In hindsight, I probably should have done more research on the stallion before arranging this meeting with him. Looking around his studio, I didn’t recognize any of the paintings on his walls, aside from a few of the repeated, multi tinted images of celebrities like Sapphire Shores and Vinyl Scratch. His portfolio seemed dominated either by the aforementioned “pop art,” and images of various household products. I may not be able to even claim to understand “high art,” but I didn’t see what was so special about a painting of a soup can.
Still, when I looked back at Star Man, I couldn’t help but notice just how… different in style it looked from the rest of Worhay’s work. Nothing else I could currently see on his walls was anything like the one in the book I was holding.
“I want to know the story behind this one.”
Worhay simply rolled his eyes and resumed painting his subject… only to find that said subject was no longer standing on her pedestal. A sudden smell like burned wet leaves washed over me as the somewhat dirty green mare with a red mane done up in what looked like dreads got real close to stare at the image of the painting in my book.
“Whoa… that’s, like, really far out, mare…” she said, stroking the image with a lazy grin on her face. “I’m getting some way chill vibes from this.”
“Tree Hugger, can you please get back up there? Remember: you’re a tree, and trees don’t move,” Andy Worhay said, tapping a hoof impatiently.
I glanced at the artist’s easel to find a nearly completed image of the subject standing on her hind legs in a serene pose, branches and leaves protruding from her body. I didn’t realize it before, but the piece Warhay was creating now was just like Star Man: highly stylized and completely different from the rest of his portfolio.
“C’mon, Star Man must hold some sort of significance to you if you’re still doing paintings like it now, years later,” I said.
Worhay merely kept painting unabated as he answered. “If you must know, I enjoy painting something a little different every now and then. Sure, my more ‘experimental’ pieces aren’t as popular as my pop art, but one can only paint the same image of different celebrities over and over again before it gets boring.”
I may not have known a whole lot about Andy Worhay’s body of work, but I did know one basic fact. “You painted Star Man twenty years ago—well before you did your first pop art.”
With a frustrated huff, Worhay turned away from his work to face me again. “Listen, if you’re going to be this determined to poke around in my beeswax, I may just decide I no longer want to participate in this interview!”
“Whoa… you need to chillax, dude…” Tree Hugger said from her position on the pedestal in the center of the studio. “Here, let the positive vibes I’m sending you fill your seven chakras.”
Tree Hugger then began swaying in a rhythmic fashion, reaching out to Andy Worhay with her forelegs. “Hummmmm… WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE….”
“Ms. Hugger, please… trees don’t talk!” Worhay said, appearing on the brink of a frustrated breakdown.
To my surprise, Tree Hugger actually got a little indignant. At least, I was pretty sure. It was hard to tell when she constantly looked so... relaxed. “They totally do, though. You just need to know how to listen….”
Tree Hugger seemed about to start her odd chant again, swaying back and forth as she did so, but Worhay stopped her with a hoof to her mouth. “Well they certainly don’t make that noise!”
With a sigh, Andy Worhay turned and saw with a hint of disappointment that I was still here. “Look, all you need to know about Star Man was that it was a commission I got when I was just starting out. I was even still figuring out my artistic style. Naturally, I wasn’t in a position to pick and choose my commissions yet.”
“Who was the commissioner?”
Worhay went back to his easel, but to my surprise, it was only to start cleaning his brushes and putting them away. It would appear he had lost his creative momentum for the time being, and I felt a little bit bad that I was likely partially responsible for that (I say ‘partially responsible’ because I’m pretty sure Tree Hugger was ultimately responsible for wearing down his sanity).
“I don’t know. Some kooky old stallion named Calm Mind or something,” Worhay said, sounding defeated. “Said he wanted proof of a creature he claimed to have seen in the company of Royal Guards somewhere on the outskirts of Canterlot.”
I raised an eyebrow. If this was true, my initial suspicions had been correct, and the same creature that Coltrain had described—or one like it—had appeared in Equestria about twenty years ago. But the detail that Worhay mentioned about the Royal Guards was curious, and I could only imagine what it could mean if it were true.
“So, I know it’s been quite a few years, but would you happen to know where to find this ‘Calm Mind’ pony?”
Worhay looked at me skeptically, and I wondered whether he was beginning to catch on to the true nature of my visit. “Yeah, I know where you can find him: about six feet under. He died shortly after the commission was completed.”
“Oh…” I said, feeling my ears fold back.
“Guy must’ve taken a pretty nasty tumble down the mountain.” Worhay grimaced. “I remember reading that they found him near the mountain’s base with a broken neck.”
I swallowed. Well, that was a dead end, certainly no pun intended. After spending a little more time with Andy Worhay, asking a few different questions so as not to make him suspicious, I thanked him and headed out.
The day after my talk with Andy Worhay, I found myself sitting on a park bench just outside of the city proper. I’d had a full morning doing various chores that needed to get done, including shopping for a few groceries we desperately needed, as well as visiting the coroner responsible for Arcane Star’s remains to get started on the funeral preparations. The entire time, though, I was thinking about other things entirely. My mind was still racing with thoughts of grand conspiracies and armored creatures from beyond the stars.
Sure, my last lead turned out to be a dead end, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t more to go on. There was literally decades worth of research that my late ex-husband had gathered, both in the study at home and our storage unit downtown. I was also fairly certain Lyonel still had something from his research expeditions with my ex-husband. Surely there was something in Star’s research that could shed some light on what he was involved with. That could tell me what he knew that I didn’t.
But that would come later. For now, I simply curled up on the park bench and brought out the paper bag with my lunch in it: a simple but tasty daisy and daffodil sandwich with some cheese. I sighed as I took my first bite, trying to push all of the insane, stressful things from my mind and just try to enjoy some peace for the first time in what felt like a while.
My peace didn’t last long, as to my surprise, another pony walked up and casually took a seat next to me, a newspaper tucked under one foreleg. He wore a simple dark gray business jacket complete with a shirt and tie over his beige coat, and had a dark mane streaked with gold. He adjusted a pair of sunglasses across the bridge of his snout before noticing that I was looking at him, and looked back to me in turn, clearing his throat.
“I’m sorry, do you mind if I sit here?” he asked.
Although I found it strange that this somewhat middle-aged looking earth pony stallion had chosen to sit on the bench with me when there were plenty of places he could sit alone, I wasn’t exactly opposed to the company.
“Not at all,” I said.
“Thanks,” he said with a smile, settling into his seat beside me before opening his newspaper. “I need to get off my hooves for a bit. Work is murder.”
“You don’t say,” I said before taking another bite of my sandwich. I figured I might as well make conversation while I had some company. “So, what do you do, exactly?”
The stallion sat silently for a few moments, skimming through his newspaper as he seemed to think. “I work for a very important organization. It’s my job to… find solutions to unexpected problems. To clean up the messes they inevitably cause.”
I wanted to ask about what exactly he meant, but some instinct deep inside me started sending up all kinds of red flags. Instead, I settled to simply sit and continue eating in silence—a silence that was starting to get a little uncomfortable.
The strange stallion tsked as he turned over a page of his newspaper, shaking his head supposedly at the article he was reading. “So many ponies create such big messes for themselves,” he said almost ruefully.
“Yeah?” I asked, trying to get some kind of read on this stranger.
“For as much as we have evolved as a species, we ponies still have a lot in common with the simpler creatures of this world,” he said, not taking an eye off the paper in his hooves. “If we find something that piques our curiosity, naturally we want to investigate it further.” He folded his paper and looked directly at me. “But even simple beasts know not to stick their noses too closely to something that could bite it off.”
With that, the strange stallion stood, turning to give me a meaningful look. “Keep your nose clean, Mrs. Golden Heart,” he said, and for once I was unconcerned by his use of my married title as I was too busy being concerned with everything else. “I would hate to have to clean up your mess too.”
After carefully placing his newspaper down on the bench right beside me, the stallion turned and began a leisurely trot down the street. I opened my mouth to say something but none of the questions racing through my mind could come out. I glanced down at the newspaper he’d left beside me, and I nearly did a double-take when I realized the paper wasn’t The Equestria Daily or the Canterlot Star.
It was the Ponyville Times.
Without a second thought, I picked up the newspaper and a quick check of the date confirmed that it was today’s. Then I opened it to the page the stallion had been reading, and my heart stopped in my chest as I saw the article: Local Stallion Killed In Tragic Accident. The picture beside the article was of Coltrain, smiling in a photo that looked to have been taken when he was a few years younger.
Eyes wide and legs trembling, I looked back up to where the mysterious stallion was walking down the street, only to find the street empty, with no indication there had ever been a pony there at all.
Author's Note
The first half of this two-parter. Second half should be out same time next week barring any complications. And in case you're wondering, this story takes place during the second half of Act 2 of the main story.
A very big thank you to Shinzakura for taking the time to put together awesome cover art, and BradtheBrony for his continued work as a great editor!
Part 2 - A Gold Heart's Worth
In a few short minutes, Lyonel Heartstrings emerged from the basement stairs levitating a few books and stacks of paper in his magical aura. “Sorry for keeping you waiting, but this is all I have of my research with Star.”
I smiled up at him from my position on his couch, sipping from the cup of tea that he’d offered me when I showed up asking whether he still had any of my late husband’s old stuff. Lyonel was always so good to me, it made feel bad about not being entirely honest with him.
“Thanks, Ly. You’re the best,” I said with a smile.
Lyonel passed the pile of research material to me as he said, “There’s a few of our reference materials here, as well as his journal entries from our last expedition together.”
“Oh, perfect!” I exclaimed, not entirely able to hide my enthusiasm. Between the journal entries of the first two expeditions I’d found in our storage unit and the rest that were still in Arcane Star’s study back home, I now had the complete set of journals from all of his expeditions to the Frozen North. This would be extremely helpful in piecing together what was going on.
“If I may ask, what exactly do you want with all this stuff?” Lyonel asked, studying me curiously. “You’ve certainly never shown this much of an interest in Arcane Star’s work before.”
I chewed my lip as I tried to think of something to tell him. There was always the truth, but the image of the newspaper article with Coltrain’s photo flashed in my mind. It was entirely possible I’d simply read too much into my encounter with the mysterious stallion at lunch. Even so... if there was even a remote chance that the EBI was involved and was going to such lengths to cover this up, there was no way I was going to risk the life of my dearest friend.
“I was… thinking of maybe publishing some of his research,” I lied. If I didn’t already have a target on my back now, I certainly would if I went through with that idea. “It’s what Star would have wanted.”
Lyonel nodded, his skeptical look softening. “Well, let me know if you need any help making sense of it. I was there for much of it after all, and I have to admit I’m curious to see what Star’s come up with after I moved on.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you no longer wanted anything to do with all this ‘alien’ nonsense.”
“I no longer wanted anything to do with Star,” Lyonel sighed, and his gaze fell to the pile of books and paper between us. “To be honest, the real reason I gave up my research into the extraterrestrial was my daughter.”
“Lyra?” I asked, suddenly curious. Lyonel had never talked much about his home life after his falling out with Star, but it was clear that he’d had his share of problems in the past.
“Losing my job at Canterlot U was hard on us, but especially for Lyra,” Lyonel explained, gesturing with his head to the room we were sitting in. “We had to move to a smaller home in another part of the city away from all her friends, and it eventually became apparent that we were no longer going to be able to pay for her education at Celestia’s School.
“She was still a young filly, so obviously she didn’t fully understand the situation. Naturally, she blamed me and my alien fixation for ‘ruining her life.’ I suppose she wasn’t too far off the mark: If she’d been able to continue her studies at Celestia’s School, who’s to say where she’d be today? But regardless, I knew then I had to make a choice: my passion project or my family.”
Lyonel scowled as he finally looked away from the accumulated research. “I chose to focus on finding stable employment to provide for Lyra and Lyrica, but Star?” He sighed and shook his head. “Y’know, even after costing me my job, I probably could have found it in me to forgive him with time. But—even knowing what working on this project had cost me, he still thought he could get me to join him on his latest research expedition. That was what led to our final argument.
“The last thing I ever said to him was: ‘Just because you’re willing to throw away your family for this doesn’t mean that I will.’”
I winced. “Harsh. Even if it was completely true.”
Lyonel nodded, and his eyes suddenly turned misty. “ Even so… I’d always thought about trying to patch things up with him—Celestia knows he’s tried to do the same—but I always found an excuse to put it off….” He rubbed his eyes, sniffing. “Thinking about it now, I… I do miss him.”
I did my best to show him the same kindness he’d shown me over the past few days, and embraced him, feeling like a terrible pony for all of the impure thoughts racing through my head.
“Ly?”
“Yeah?”
I swallowed, wanting—yearning to tell him how I really felt. “Nothing. Thanks for being a good friend.”
Perhaps some things were better off remaining ancient history.
Downing the last of my coffee, I set the mug down, no longer keeping track of how much I’d had. All I knew about the current time was that it was late: the clock in Arcane Star’s study had apparently stopped working ages ago—another victim of his neglect. I’d already had dinner and put Helium and Choo-Choo to bed. After that I got to work.
The study was now a mess of books and paper. I’d very quickly run out of room to fit all of the materials I wanted open on the desk, and now sat at the center of a circle of research material on the floor. I don’t think I’d studied something this intently since my university days. I was in the eye of a storm of books, articles and research papers from all over the world, all pertaining to some alleged “ancient alien site.”
It seemed that every researcher had come up with a different name for them—Arcane Star had taken to calling them ‘the Forebears’ in his own journals—but it was clear that every supposed alien site across the world had all been built by the same race of aliens. Translations of ancient scriptures at sites ranging from the Frozen North to South Zebrica all referred to an artifact called “the Key,” which many of these scholars seemed to believe was crucial in activating… something. Everyone seemed to have different theories on what this “Key” was for (let alone where it was or what it looked like). Some thought it was what created equine life on this world in the first place, while a few zebra shaman believed it activated something called ‘the Kokuqothula.’
It had quickly become apparent to me that I would have to filter out a lot of wild speculation. I don’t know how some ponies could believe that the legendary Queen Faust herself was connected to these Forebears. There wasn’t much evidence that she was even a real pony in the first place. And then there was all of Arcane Star’s own fruitless expeditions to the Frozen North. While I was beginning to think that some of his theories might have been on the money, I doubted there was anything of interest in the Old Kingdoms, otherwise one of his expeditions would have turned up something.
Still… he’d stumbled upon something in the past weeks, but none of the reference materials I’d gathered had anything that led back to Southern Equestria. That had been where his train was headed, after all.
A sudden knock at the front door jumped me from my thoughts, and I put the now chronologically organized journals of my late ex-husband down as I made to exit the study to check. While I may have lost track of the time, I knew that it was late, so I was a little suspicious of who could be calling at this hour. I swallowed as I remembered my encounter with the mysterious pony in sunglasses yesterday, and wondered whether the EBI had somehow found out what I was doing, and were here to take me away.
That fear was quickly alleviated when I stepped out of the dimly lit study to find the light of Celestia’s sun slowly creeping into the rest of the house. Is it… morning?! I didn’t have much time to dwell on the fact that I’d somehow spent the entire night catching up on years worth of research when the knocking persisted slightly more urgently.
“I’m coming, hold on!” I said somewhat irately as I made my way to the door.
Moon Dancer stood on the front steps, still wearing the same raggedy sweater she wore days ago. “Hey, Mom.”
“Oh… hi, sweetie,” I said, the minor annoyance instantly evaporating. “You doing okay?”
“Mm, I guess,” Moon Dancer mumbled looking from me to the ground and back again. “Just… wanted to see how you were doing.”
I smiled. “That’s very sweet of you to think of me, hon. Have you had breakfast yet?”
“I had some coffee, but….”
I didn’t let her finish as I opened the door all the way to let her in. “Then why don’t you come inside and have a nice pancake breakfast with your mother?”
A little grin formed on Moon Dancer’s face. “I won’t argue with that!”
My daughter stepped inside and in short order she was sitting at the kitchen table as I made pancakes over the stove. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty when I remembered the last time we sat in this kitchen together.
“Moon Dancer?”
She looked up at me. “Hmm?”
“I’m… I’m sorry if anything I said the other day upset you.”
“It’s okay, mom,” Moon Dancer said, giving me a reassuring smile. “I know you were just upset about… ‘bout Dad.” The smile disappeared pretty quickly after that, and I hastened the completion of our pancakes so I could go over and sit with her. We started eating our breakfast in silence for a few moments.
“So, how’s everything going on that end?” I asked once we both had our food.
“Fairly well. I booked the venue and date for the funeral, and started sending out notifications to all of our friends and relatives.”
I gave her a reassuring smile as she resumed eating her pancakes. “I meant how are you doing?”
“I don’t know. I mean… Dad’s gone,” Moon Dancer said, taking a shuddering breath. “How… I don’t even know how to process that!”
I nodded. “I know how you feel. I keep… replaying my last conversation with him over and over again in my head. Wondering if…” I trailed off.
My daughter tilted her head. “Wondering if what?”
“Nothing. Just… don’t worry about it.”
We ate in silence for another minute before Moon Dancer spoke up. “I can’t help worrying, though. I mean, I don’t wanna sound rude, but you look terrible.”
“Well, I… didn’t really get much sleep last night.” I rubbed the back of my neck, even though technically it wasn’t lying.
Moon Dancer fixed me with a suspicious glare. “You haven’t been…?”
“No, I haven’t been drinking again. Tempting though it’s been,” I answered. The immediacy of it seemed to alleviate Moon Dancer’s concerns.
“So, what have you been doing, then?”
I glanced out of the kitchen and across the hall to Arcane Star’s study; the door was wide open. My first instinct was to hide my little project from Moon Dancer, but then it occurred to me.
“Actually, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
Moon Dancer gave an intrigued grunt, and I stood from the table. “I’ve been working on a little research project, and figured since this sort of thing is your area of expertise, maybe you could help.”
“What, like magic spells?” Moon Dancer stood and followed me out of the kitchen. “Lately I’ve been reading a lot about offensive magic like the Magi use, and it’s actually pretty….”
She trailed off when I showed her into the study and she saw the organized chaos on its floor.
“Sorry about the mess, it’s hard to keep so many different reference materials within easy reach on such a small desk.”
Moon Dancer picked up a sheet of paper from the floor in her magic and looked it over. “This is… this is all Dad’s research.” She looked at me with utter bemusement. “What are you doing with all of this alien nonsense?”
“Okay, let me start from the beginning,” I said. “I was informed of your father’s death by a representative of the military. Apparently, before he died, Arcane Star had been working with them on some kind of secret project….”
Moon Dancer just shook her head. “No. Mom, you can’t seriously be saying….”
“I talked to a few ponies who convinced me to take a look at the so-called ‘accident’ that killed him….”
“Sweet Celestia, Mom! You don’t honestly believe…!”
“Multiple ponies said they saw a strange being pull Star from the train.” Realizing I wasn’t winning her over with simple explanation, I decided to pull out some facts. I summoned the artbook Obscure Classics, which was already open on the image of Star Man, “Another pony saw the same thing over twenty years ago! And then there were those suits trying to cover it all up….”
Moon Dancer put a hoof on my barrel. “Mom, stop! Listen to yourself! Listen to what you sound like—who you sound like!”
“I know it sounds crazy, sweetie. Believe me, I thought the same thing at first. But there’s just too much that doesn’t add up.” I put my hooves on her shoulders and looked her dead in the eye. “If there’s a chance that your father was murdered—a chance that he was right—wouldn’t you want to know?”
“I…” Moon Dancer croaked, looking away. “What would you even do with that information?”
“I don’t know yet.” I thought about the huge amount of risk I would put to myself if I shared what I found with anyone, and suddenly thought better about getting my daughter involved. “But I know that the truth is out there!”
“Wow. Y’know, I almost wish you were drinking again,” Moon Dancer said bitterly. “At least that I can understand!”
“Moon Dancer…” I tried to say, but she pushed past me and made her way to the front door. “Wait, if you won’t help me with this, can you at least do one favor for me?”
Moon Dancer turned and fixed me with a questioning glare as I asked, “Can you look after Helium and Choo-Choo for a couple of days?”
My daughter’s face darkened. “What are you going to do?”
I sighed. “Your father’s train was headed to Dodge Junction. Whatever he was working on, that’s where it was.”
“You can’t seriously be considering doing what I think you’re gonna do?!” Moon Dancer exclaimed, sputtering as she tried to find words. “I heard trains aren’t even running to Dodge right now. Something about a dragon attack!”
“I can find a way….”
“Dad’s funeral is in three days, Mom!” She sniffed and started wiping her eyes, and my resolve immediately wavered. “Dammit, t-this is already hard enough….”
“Sweetie, I’m sorry…” I said, reaching out to her. “I promise I’ll make it back in time….”
Moon Dancer just swatted my hoof away. “Dad used to make the same kind of promises, remember? ‘I promise I’ll make it to your birthday.’ ‘I promise I’ll be back in time to see you graduate.’ But we both know how well that worked out, don’t we?!”
The door slammed shut and just like that, Moon Dancer was gone. I sighed and went back into the kitchen, seeing the unfinished plates of pancakes on the table.
“Miss? Excuse me, Miss?”
I opened my eyes when I heard the stallion’s voice and realized that the rhythmic sway of the wagon that had put me to sleep in the first place had stopped. We were at the edge of a dilapidated desert town, what must once have been simple rustic buildings now collapsed and half burned. The earth pony who had been pulling me along in the wagon was looking back at me with some trepidation.
“Sorry to wake ya, Miss, but we’ve arrived at Dodge Junction,” he said.
It had been a long train ride from Canterlot, during which I’d managed to catch a few hours of the sleep I’d neglected the night before. Somehow, those few hours of sleep had only made me more tired when it was time to get off. I might have missed my stop entirely if it weren’t for the fact that I was getting off in Appleloosa: The current end of the line until whatever was going on in Dodge was resolved. From there, it was just a simple matter of hiring a wagon to bring me the rest of the way.
The stallion pulling the wagon took another look at the burned husk of a town and let out a sigh. “Damn shame what happened here. Place used to be quaint—folks around here real friendly-like. Now all they can do is scrape together whatever they got left.” He looked back to me as I climbed down from the wagon, grabbing the saddlebags full of research on my way. “Don’t know what business you have here, but you be careful, Miss. I never knew any of the folks of this town to be bad, but... desperation can drive ponies to do things they might never consider otherwise.”
I smiled at his show of concern, and certainly appreciated that he never pried into my business here. “I may not be as young as I used to, but I’ve spent enough time on Canterlot’s seedier streets in my youth to know how to defend myself.”
After thanking the stallion and paying him his well-earned bits, he turned his wagon around and started making his way back to Appleloosa, while I turned to face the wreck of a town alone. There weren’t any ponies out and about, but as I made my way further along the main street, I started to see little signs of life. Rather than bring me comfort, the few ponies I could see only emphasized how dire the situation in this town had become.
A stallion wearing a bar apron swept debris and broken glass out of a bar without patrons. A mare wrapped in a cloth blanket sat by a house reduced to cinders. Two stallions exited a general store with a satchel full of goods, only to see me watching and take off down the street, the shopkeep yelling after them as they ran. Overhead, I spotted a squadron of pegasi patrolling the sky in the armor of the military.
The only pony who didn’t look like a prisoner in Tartarus was an old beige mare, who smiled at me with a kind, wrinkled face.
“Lost your way?” she asked sweetly.
“Actually, I was hoping to see the pony in charge here,” I said. “Maybe you can help me?”
The old mare considered my words for a few moments. “The matriarch of this town lives on the big farm on the hill to the north,” she said.
Slowly, the old mare began to make her way back the way I came. “But you want my advice, dear? Turn back. There’s nothing in this town worth throwing your life away for.”
I considered asking just what she had meant by that, but the old mare was already out of earshot. Surely things in Dodge Junction weren’t so bad that I was in mortal danger? I couldn’t help but think back to my last conversation with my daughter and wonder whether the old mare was right in a more figurative sense—whether she knew it or not.
Regardless of those thoughts, it was too late to turn back now, and so I pressed on, turning left to head north at the next intersection. Eventually I came up on a farm matching what the old mare had described. A large farmhouse sat atop a steep hill, a barn with stacks of smoke rising above it sitting just at its base. An orchard of cherry trees stretched on into the east, and the sign above the front gate said Cherry Hill Farm.
The sound of hammers on nails filled the air as I stepped onto the farm, and another look at the barn revealed several ponies repairing damage to its facade. I trotted closer, hoping to get one of the ponies’ attention, but a little overalled filly filling a bucket of water from a spigot noticed me first.
“Miss Jubilee?” the filly called out to a nearby mare, looking at me apprehensively. “‘Nother strange pony’s here!”
The mare that the filly had addressed turned away from the ponies working on the barn and looked at me with a level face. She was exceptionally pretty, even by Canterlot standards, despite her slightly chubby frame. Her coat was an extremely pale yellow, her bright crimson mane done up in an elaborate beehive. Her light green eyes were adorned with pink eyeshadow, but she barely seemed able to keep them open. In spite of this, the mare emitted a presence of matronly authority.
“Hello!” I greeted with a wave. “So sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could spare a moment to talk?”
As the mare stepped closer, I noticed the bags under her eyes and the few strands of hair rebelling against the rest. She looked a lot like I felt at that moment.
“That so? Well, Cherry Hill Farm is always willin’ to offer its hospitality to others, especially in these dark times.” She then looked me up and down. “Though, you don’ look like you’re from around here, Miss…?”
“Golden Heart. And you’re right. I’m from Canterlot.”
“Canterlot? My my, we’ve just been gettin’ ponies from all over Equestria comin’ ‘round lately! I’m Cherry Jubilee. I run Cherry Hill Farm and much of Dodge Junction itself. Such as it is.”
As we moved to talk away from the noise of the barn maintenance, I watched the little filly in overalls carry the bucket of water in her mouth up to the house.
“Cute filly. Is she yours?” I asked, hoping to start the conversation off light.
Cherry Jubilee sighed and shook her head. “No, poor thing was orphaned after the attack, and I’m doin’ my best to look after her until things get better ‘round here and we can find her a new home.”
So much for starting the conversation light. “Ah, I assume you mean the dragon attack from the other week?” I asked.
Jubilee just looked at me like I’d grown another horn. “Dragon attack? Land sakes, is that what they’re saying it was?!” She shook her head ruefully. “The nerve of those government ponies, disrespecting the deaths of all of those good mares and stallions with their lies.”
That piqued my curiosity, and I started to wonder if my initial theory had been correct. “It wasn’t a dragon that did this?” I asked.
Jubilee simply gestured to the rest of the town in the distance. “Do we look like we’re sitting on a wealth of gems and rubies? We may be right on the edge of the Badlands, but dragons haven’t been a problem in all the time my family’s been here. We haven’t got anything they’d want.”
“So, if it wasn’t a dragon, what was it?”
“Don’t know. Never saw it myself. From what I hear, I think I owe my life to that fact.” Giving me the same careful look she had before, Jubilee said, “You’re not the first pony to come here asking about the attack, you know? Just the other day, some stallion—said his name was Silversteel, or something—came by asking the same questions as you. He was a shady character, that one—I couldn’t shake this unsettling feeling about him. Looked like the kinda guy who found trouble wherever he went.
“I don’t think you’re a bad pony, Miss Heart. You’re not here lookin’ for trouble. But I gotta ask: Why are you here?” A hint of vulnerability revealed itself in Cherry Jubilee just then. “What is it you’re hoping to find?”
Calling on my magic, I reached into my saddlebags and felt around all of the papers and books until I found a single photo. I did my best to swallow the swell of conflicting emotions and cleared my throat as I presented Cherry Jubilee with a photo of myself, a few years younger, being held in Arcane Star’s forelegs.
“Have you ever seen him around?”
Cherry Jubilee took the photo in her own hoof and studied it. “He was your husband?” she asked, and I nodded solemnly. “Yeah. I’ve seen him around a few times in the week before the attack. Seemed to be working closely with the military contingent that moved into the area.”
I raised an eyebrow. “The military was here before the attack?”
Jubilee nodded. “They set up a camp somewhere in the forest just beyond my orchard. Wouldn’t let anypony get anywhere near it.”
“Any idea why?”
“Only a crazy idea. You don’t want to hear it.”
I grinned. “Trust me, I’ve become very accustomed to crazy ideas.”
After that encouragement, Jubilee looked around before leaning in closer. “One night just before the army showed up, we heard a noise: A distant whine followed by a loud boom that shook the earth. Ponies said they saw somethin’ fall from the sky like a shootin’ star… and land in the woods just beyond my orchard, right where the military then went an’ set up shop the very next day.”
Jubilee left the sentence there, allowing me to come to my own conclusions. My mind raced with thoughts and questions, all leading to the same impossible conclusion. I knew right then where I needed to go next, and wondered whether I would finally find the source of all this mystery.
“Thank you, Miss Jubilee,” I said, shaking the mare’s hoof as she returned my photo. “I’m sorry for your troubles, but there’s something I need to do.”
It wasn’t too long before the neat and orderly cherry orchard gave way to a more wild and natural forest. Evidently, the cherry grove had grown beyond what Dodge Junction’s first settlers had originally intended. The placement of the trees was more sporadic, the brush around them thick. The occasional bird sang its song, and the whole atmosphere was rather peaceful.
But I didn’t feel very at peace as I trekked deeper into the brush. An underlying sense of menace permeated the peaceful atmosphere. Somewhere in this forest was something that would defy all reasonable explanation. Something that would, perhaps, answer the questions plaguing me for days.
I must have been more jumpy than I realized, because the sound of a bird taking flight behind me caused me to whirl around with a start. After taking a few breaths to calm myself, I turned to continue on my way through the forest and nearly bumped into a wrinkled old face. The old beige mare from town was standing right in front of me, smiling sweetly as she had when we spoke before. I could only stand there and stare at her in a shocked stupor: Not only had this mare managed to follow me into the forest, she did so without making a sound.
“Looks like you have lost your way after all,” she said, her every word laced with sugary sweetness.
“E-excuse me?” was all my rattled brain managed to get out.
“I warned you,” she said, taking a few steps closer, and some instinct deep inside me was screaming for me to run. “I told you to keep your nose clean, Mrs. Golden Heart.”
Before I could even process what was happening, the old mare struck with lightning speed. Suddenly all I felt was indescribable pain as a bracelet around her hoof with some kind of magical enchantments sent jolts of energy shooting through my entire body. I twitched and writhed as my legs buckled out from beneath me and my body crumpled to the ground. As I lay there, shaking from fear and aftershocks both, the old mare reached around behind her neck and to my horror, began to pull her face off... or so it seemed at first.
I suddenly found myself looking at a familiar stallion with a dark, gold-streaked mane as he put on the pair of sunglasses he’d been wearing when we met in Canterlot. “You seemed like a nice enough pony. I really was hoping it wouldn’t have to come to this,” he said, any compassion his words might have held made moot by the creepy monotone he spoke with.
A lime green unicorn mare with a white mane and piercing crimson eyes appeared next to him. “We should finish her quickly. We’re too close to the site.”
The stallion turned to his associate as I lay there, my muscles numb. “Ah, but Cockatrice, if there’s any trace of a murder here, ponies will want to take a closer look around, regardless of how off-limits the site is. No, tell Manticore to bring the sky-carriage around. We’ll bring her further south and dress the scene to look like a coyote attack.”
My heart raced and I was unable to keep the whimper from escaping as it dawned on me what was going to happen.
“On it,” the mare, ‘Cockatrice’, gave a curt nod before turning and disappearing into the woods.
As I lay there shivering, the stallion circled around me, eying the saddlebags full of research on the ground beside me.
“Who… who are you?” I asked.
“If you’re asking about my name, you can just call me Changeling,” he answered as he picked up my saddlebags. “And before you ask, it’s just a callsign. I’m no more an actual changeling than my partner is a cockatrice.”
I managed to glare at him using what strength I had left. “And do the princesses know that the EBI is murdering innocent ponies?!”
At that, Changeling looked up from my saddlebags and gave an amused snort. “Is that who you think we are? Good guess, but our organization is much older.”
With that, Changeling returned his attention to the contents of my saddlebags, pulling out several pages of research and giving what I noticed to be a worried frown. “Where did you get all of this?” He looked through more of the research, his look growing ever more frantic until he turned to me. “How much do you know about the Forerunners?! How much do you know about her?!”
I barely heard him as my thoughts began their downward spiral into despair. My foals were going to lose their mother so soon after their father. Little Helium and Choo-Choo would grow up without proper parents. Coffee Cream would arrive for one funeral only to learn there would soon be another. And Moon Dancer… Moon Dancer would live with the knowledge that our last conversation had been a fight, and wonder whether she could have done or said something different to spare her loved one such a terrible fate.
The sound of a hoof stepping on twigs caused my ears to stand on end. Changeling didn’t take his eyes off me as he said, “Cockatrice, is everything alri…?”
He was abruptly cut off when a blast of arcane energy knocked him off his hooves and sent him flying. Bewildered, I looked where the blast had come from and as if the universe had been reading my mind, there stood the very subject of my worry.
“Moon Dancer?!” I exclaimed as my daughter rushed towards me, horn still glowing. She was breathing heavily as if she’d just run a marathon, and her eyes were wide with worry. I felt her cast a spell over my body, and before long the numbness holding me down began to vanish.
“How… what are you doing here?” I asked as she worked to cure my paralysis.
My daughter gave me her patented scowl as she continued her magical ministrations. “Did you honestly think I was just gonna let you run off and get yourself into trouble?” she said, her eyes starting to water. “I already lost Dad to this insanity. I can’t lose you too, Mom!”
Just then I heard a pained groan, and Moon Dancer and I both looked to see that Changeling was on his feet, looking at us with a quiet fury. My daughter’s horn glowed with renewed energy, but the mare from before—Cockatrice—suddenly appeared on her left side. A large, burly pegasus stallion with a golden brown coat was with her and quickly began circling to surround us.
It quickly dawned on me that my worst fears had come true: Moon Dancer was involved now and was in just as much peril as I. And what if it doesn’t stop with us? If these ponies think Moon Dancer knows everything that I do, who’s to say they won’t assume my other foals know too? Celestia, have I doomed my whole family?
Rather than fill me with fear and despair again, the thought instead gave me renewed vigor. I crouched and began to fill my horn with magic. I wasn’t sure that I actually knew any spells that would be useful in a fight, but if these ponies thought they were going to take away any more of my family, they were in for a shock! But before our mysterious attackers could strike, Changeling’s ears suddenly stood stock straight and he motioned for the others to hold. It took me a moment, but then I heard it too. A distant crack crack crack like foals playing with fireworks.
“What’s that?” Cockatrice asked.
Changeling frowned. “It’s them. They’re here.”
The rate of the distant cracks began to grow until they filled the air. The sound of shouting voices quickly joined them.
“Fall back,” Changeling ordered his compatriots.
“But sir, what about them?” Cockatrice asked.
The shouting voices grew louder, and I was already able to make out the shapes of armored ponies through the trees headed in our general direction.
Changeling looked back and forth from us to the military ponies through the trees in the distance. “Forget them. We can’t risk capture or our whole organization might be compromised!”
With that, the three ponies turned and disappeared into the depths of the woods. It was several moments after they left when Moon Dancer and I finally let our guard down. It was then that the contingent of soldiers we’d seen through the trees ran past us at an urgent pace. Each one of them were dressed in wartime barding and had nasty-looking enchanted crossbows holstered.
“Double-time it to the fallback position, troops!” the stallion in charge ordered. “We’ll rendezvous with Washington there!”
“Sir! Civilians!” a mare shouted, and suddenly a team of armored ponies was standing around us.
The stallion in charge looked over at us and cursed before asking, “What are they doing here?! Who are they?!” I opened my mouth to respond, but another distant crack in the direction the soldiers were fleeing from gathered everyone’s attention. “Nevermind!” the CO said, returning his attention to my daughter and I. “You two need to vacate the area immediately! Get back to town, get indoors and stay there until further notice!”
Without giving either of us a chance to reply, the stallion turned and continued galloping with his troops, barking orders until his voice faded into the distance with the rest of them.
“Well, you heard the stallion. Let’s go!” Moon Dancer exclaimed, tugging at my foreleg. “I don’t really want to stick around to find out what all of those heavily armed ponies were running from!”
Moon Dancer started pulling me along in the direction of town, but I couldn’t keep myself from looking back in the direction the soldiers had been running from. It was the same direction Cherry Jubilee had pointed out. The source of all of this was right there. It was so close….
“Mom! What are you doing? We have to go!” Moon Dancer shouted, more insistently tugging on my foreleg.
I realized then what I had to do. “You go on ahead, sweetie. I’ll catch up after I check something.”
Evidently, this answer was not acceptable to Moon Dancer. “What?! Mom, you could die!”
“I don’t care.” I suddenly realized. “All of the answers I’ve been looking for are back this way.”
“So what?”
“I need to know....” I tried making my way back but Moon Dancer wouldn’t let me.
“No you don’t! Now just come on….” Moon Dancer pulled, but I refused to budge.
“Yes I do! I need to know….”
“What?! You need to know what?!”
“I NEED TO KNOW IT WASN’T MY FAULT!”
Moon Dancer said nothing, and the forest was quiet. As what I just said finally caught up with me, I felt just as surprised as Moon Dancer looked, and suddenly I couldn’t stop the tears from coming.
“I n-need to know whether he really was murdered by an alien. O-or some conspiracy,” I whimpered. “Because if something or someone really wanted him dead… it wouldn’t have mattered whether I’d slammed the door in his face….”
I’m not sure how long I stood there, crying and feeling sorry for myself in front of my daughter, but eventually I felt her hoof on my shoulder.
“I guess… a quick look couldn’t hurt, right?” she asked, giving me a smile.
Of course, “a quick look” turned out to be so much more. Before I knew it I found myself in the command tent of a military base camp, regretting my curiosity—my need for vindication—as my mind whirled with the events of the past several minutes.
Moon Dancer and I hadn’t gone straight towards the military site Cherry Jubilee had indicated—we’d wanted to give a wide berth to whatever that contingent of guards had been retreating from. A few times, I thought I’d seen strange shapes moving through the trees as we heard distant voices just on the edge of my hearing. Finally, we’d reached the large clearing where we’d seen what would no doubt be permanently etched into our minds.
At first glance, the arrangement of standard Guard tents made the clearing look like a regular military encampment. The first thing that made us realize this was no standard operation was the presence of what a part of me knew I’d find. A great twisted metal behemoth lay in the center of a depression like a big dead animal. Even though part of me expected something like this would be waiting, seeing it with my own eyes had still been a complete shock.
“That’s… that’s a…” Moon Dancer had muttered beside me, clearly at a loss for words.
The thing was a burnt, twisted husk, but there was no doubt in my mind that we had been looking at an alien spaceship at that very moment. Even from that great distance, I thought I could see something—approximately four words—carved into the side of the ship, but it had been difficult to make out from that distance. So I foolishly tried to get closer, wandering through the military encampment without a second thought while my daughter hissed at me not to go.
It was in our approach to the ship that we had come upon the next sight to rock our world. A group of medical ponies were solemnly covering the bodies of armored ponies with white sheets outside a medical tent while other guards looked on sadly, but what stopped us in our tracks was right behind them: The bodies of several bipedal figures covered head to foot in gray armor unlike any I’d ever seen before were piled a few paces away with bolts sticking out of them.
I hadn’t even fully registered the voices of the military ponies shouting at us as they finally noticed our presence. It was only as they had surrounded Moon Dancer and I and began the process of detaining us that I had realized we were in serious trouble.
Now here I sat in the command tent of this encampment, with the officer in charge of this regiment looking through the saddlebags they’d apprehended off of me with all of Arcane Star’s research that I had gathered over the past few days. Moon Dancer was in another tent somewhere else, likely being interrogated by another officer.
“There is years worth of research here, Mrs. Heart!” the CO barked. He was a very old dark blue stallion who had the demeanor of having been pulled out of retirement for whatever operation was going on here. “So I’ll ask you again: Who are you and how much do you know about Project Starfall?”
“I told you, I don’t know anything about it!” I told him insistently. “Everything in there was my late husband’s research.”
“And he gave you all of this classified information, then?”
“No! I wasn’t even aware he was a part of this project until today.”
The old stallion sighed. “Mrs. Heart, we have you and your daughter on trespassing on secure military property. So I suggest you start being honest with us….”
Before he finished talking, the sound of the tent flap being pushed aside behind me drew his attention.
“Can I help you Mr.… Washington, was it?” the CO asked, looking past me at the newcomer.
“Agent Washington, and yes you can,” the newcomer replied, and right away I noticed that something about his icy, business-like voice was off. It sounded distorted somehow, like the speaker was talking through a tin can. “I’d like to take a look at the research you’ve just now acquired, as well as speak with the pony who supplied it.”
I looked over my shoulder to see the newcomer, and my jaw hit the floor when I saw that Star Man had walked right out of the pages of Obscure Classics and was now standing in the tent behind me. Sure enough, the bipedal creature wore some kind of advanced armor just like the dead ones I’d seen outside, only his was a somewhat darker gray with yellow stripes on his helmet and shoulder pads. My own stupefied expression stared back at me in the reflection of his chrome visor.
“Listen, Mr. Washington,” the CO sternly said, taking a step past me to address the creature towering over both of us. “I’m real appreciative of you and your ponies for helping us against your former comrades. Really I am. But this is a case of an Equestrian citizen trespassing on Equestrian military property, and I would prefer to handle it internally.”
At that, the being apparently called ‘Washington’ reached into some compartment on the back of its armor and pulled out a scroll. My shock then doubled when I remembered the fact that it talked. “I’m afraid that was not a request.”
‘Washington’ held out the scroll and the stallion interrogating me took it in his magic. Right away I noticed the official seal of Princess Celestia binding it, and based on the thoughtful frown on the CO’s face, so did he. The military stallion unbound the scroll, unfurled it and began reading, muttering to himself as he did.
“By order of Princess Celestia, command of all military personnel involved with Project Starfall is to be temporarily granted to Agent Washington and his associates….”
The CO fell silent, his eyes moving across the scroll two or three more times before scowling and passing it back to Washington.
“Now, do you mind if I have a word with her alone?” the alien asked in a tone that implied it wasn’t really a question.
The CO simply shoved the scroll into Washington’s chest plate as he strode past right out of the tent, muttering unhappily. The alien, for his part, (at least I assumed it was a ‘he’ by the voice) seemed completely unconcerned as he took the letter and put it away. He then turned his attention to me and I suddenly remembered I was still gaping.
“If I had to venture a guess, I’d say that I’m the first human you’ve ever seen,” this Washington said with a chuckle as he moved to kneel on the floor across the table from me so we were at eye level.
“You’re… y-you’re Star Man…” was all I could think to say at that moment.
At that, the alien tilted his head, and I realized the gesture probably meant the same thing for him as it did for ponies. So I reached into my saddlebags and brought out Obscure Classics, quickly opening it to the page with Andy Worhay’s old work. I’ll admit that the armor looked much more bulky and disproportionate in the painting than it did in real life, but it looked like Washington saw the resemblance well enough.
“Huh. That’s certainly not what I expected to find today,” he said studying the painting closely. “The artist was certainly generous with my proportions....”
I, meanwhile, had just remembered what I had learned that had led me to further investigating that painting in the first place. So with a nervous swallow, I asked, “Was it you? Were you the one that attacked that train?” I tried to keep my voice under control as I continued. “Did you kill Arcane Star?”
Washington seemed taken aback by the question, “What? No! If you’re referring to the train crash south of Ponyville, that was the M… that was something else.”
Before I could stop myself, I was asking questions at a mile a minute. “Was it the Forebears then? Are those dead aliens outside Forebears? Or are you a Forebear? I thought you said you were a human. Or is human just your word for Forebear?”
Seeing I wasn’t going to stop, Washington raised an appendage. “Whoa, okay now. I’m sure you have a lot of questions….”
He was damn right. After all this time searching—after Arcane Star spent his whole life trying to discover the secrets of extraterrestrial life, throwing away his own in the process—I was finally here, talking to an alien. I wasn’t about to stop now! Especially once I remembered a crucial detail.
“Oh wait! The actual word is Forerunner, isn’t it? Is that what you are?”
“No, the Forerunners have been extinct for…” Washington stopped himself and suddenly leaned in closer. “Wait, where did you hear that word? Is it in your husband’s research?” He suddenly started sifting through my saddlebag, pulling out everything.
“No, those strange ponies mentioned it,” I answered, and just like that Washington’s attention was fully on me again.
“Which strange ponies?”
I brushed my hoof along the ground, suddenly feeling a little afraid when I remembered just how far they were willing to go to silence me. “They ambushed me in the forest not too far from here. They asked me what I knew about the Forerunners, and were planning on killing me and my daughter. I think they’ve already silenced others that way too.”
I took a shuddering breath as the reality of my situation dawned on me. “I don’t think I’m safe! What if they come after me again? What if they come after my family?! I can’t… I can’t lose anypony else!”
“Hey, hey, relax. It’s going to be alright,” he said, and oddly enough, something about his gentle tone of voice actually comforted me a little. “If you really think you and your family are in danger, I can arrange to get you some protection. And don’t worry, I’ll also make sure your military doesn’t press charges against you."
“Really?” I asked, skeptical but hopeful.
He nodded. “Being friends with a princess has its advantages.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“It’s the least I can do. Believe it or not, you may have done your princess a good service in bringing us this research,” Washington said, taking another look through the contents of my saddlebags. I noticed him linger over Arcane Star’s journals of his expeditions to the Frozen North as he muttered to himself, “Yes, this may be exactly what we need to stop Project Freelancer.”
“Project Freelancer?” a dozen more questions filled my mind at that moment. I wanted to know more about who this Washington person was, where he came from, when he started working with Princess Celestia, and why.
Washington stood, and I could almost imagine the easy smile on whatever face was behind that helmet. “I wouldn’t worry about them. They shouldn’t be a problem, assuming all goes to plan.”
I looked down as Washington made to leave. “I’d still kinda like to know what Star died for.”
The tall biped stopped, and it seemed like a while before he spoke again. “I know there must be no end to your questions. But take it from me: having all the answers won’t make you feel better. It doesn’t change the fact that the people we care about are still gone.” He looked back at me, and in that moment I started to wonder whether we were really all that different in our experiences. “You want my advice? Let it go. Do whatever you have to to mourn him, then move on….”
He let the sentence linger there, almost as if there was something more he wanted to say. I wondered whether the advice he gave me was something he himself had done, or merely something he wished he’d done.
“Thank you, Mr. Washington,” I said, trying to give the alien a smile.
Washington merely left the tent muttering “Agent” over and over again. It wasn’t long after that the stallion in charge came back, and after giving me a stern warning not to talk about anything I’d witnessed today, reluctantly let me go. The sun was going down as I exited the tent, and part of me wondered whether the princess controlling it had already been informed of today’s events, and how much about all this she really knew. I saw Moon Dancer standing by the encampment edge in the company of several guards, and decided then that it didn’t matter. I was ready to put all of this alien stuff behind me and begin moving forward.
“Did they tell you Dad was the head researcher here?” Moon Dancer asked as the pony soldiers started leading us back towards town. She had apparently given them descriptions of our attackers and rough approximations of their capabilities, and the CO explained there would be troops monitoring things until we made it back to Canterlot. It seemed that Washington had been true to his word.
“Apparently he had been hoof-picked by the princesses themselves for this project,” my daughter continued. “And the current head researcher—a mare named Dr. Quill—said there might be a job for me here when she found out about my studies.”
“That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest,” I said, before reflecting on how past interactions with my daughter had gone. “Moon Dancer…” I started, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find words adequate enough to let her know how terrible I felt for everything I put her through.
“Yes, Mom?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said, leaning up against her and giving her a motherly nuzzle. “Love you, sweetie.”
Moon Dancer merely rolled her eyes and groaned, turning bright red. “Moooooooom. Do you have to do that in front of the guards?”
After Moon Dancer and I returned to Canterlot, it was only a couple of short days until Arcane Star’s funeral was upon us. The service was held outside the Star family tomb carved into the side of Canter Mountain. Arcane Star came from a modest family, and their tomb was evidence of that. It looked admittedly a little underwhelming next to the tombs of the wealthier noble families, but who was keeping score?
Many friends and family of my late ex-husband were in attendance, all wearing respectful blacks. Lyonel Heartstrings was there with his wife Lyrica, and the two of us exchanged a nod as we found our seats. I spotted Star’s brothers and sisters, as well as many of the friends from our circle. The only associate of his I didn’t spot was Night Light, and I remembered that he and his wife were off on a trip to the Crystal Empire.
My two youngest, Helium and Choo-Choo were with me. I had expected just as many tears today as there had been two nights ago when I finally explained to them why their father wasn’t ever coming back. But so far my little foals were quiet as they marched to their seats beside me, putting on brave faces for their older sisters and me. This didn’t go unnoticed by said siblings as Coffee Cream and Moon Dancer took their seats on my other side, the latter actually looking to have cleaned herself up for the occasion. Soon, the minister representing Princess Celestia began his speech (obviously, the princess herself couldn’t personally officiate every funeral in Equestria).
As the proceedings went on, I couldn’t help but wonder where things stood between Moon Dancer and I. Although we hadn’t fought once since leaving Dodge Junction, my middle daughter’s icy distance made me wonder whether she was still unhappy with me. I couldn’t exactly blame her. We’d both almost died because I’d stupidly wanted closure.
On the plus side, I didn’t think we were in mortal danger anymore. The Royal Guard and the EBI had been discreetly watching over us ever since our return to Canterlot, and there hadn’t been any trace of whatever mysterious group had attacked us outside Dodge. Perhaps a part of that was because I no longer had Arcane Star’s research in my possession. Still, I couldn’t help but think that Moon Dancer resented me a bit for getting us involved in the first place.
At least I did before she went up beside the coffin to say a few words.
“So, this is usually the part where I’m supposed to say something nice about Dad. Maybe share some touching or funny anecdote about him or something,” Moon Dancer started after a nervous clearing of her throat. “But the truth is… Arcane Star wasn’t a perfect parent. He was distant, and even absent for much of my life. At times, he lost sight of what was really important.”
I noticed her glance toward me as she said this, and I wondered whether she was only talking about him. “No, he wasn’t perfect. But really, who is? He may not have always showed that he cared when he should have, but I don’t think that means he didn’t care. Because I remember him still finding the time to read to me, or help me study. To walk me to school, or... or to walk me home the first time I had a bit too much to drink….”
She paused to wipe the tears that had been building in her eyes the entire time, and then she looked at me again. “No matter what you do, you’re bound to make mistakes. Especially if you’re a parent. No part of life can be done flawlessly. What matters is that you keep trying to do better. And Dad never stopped trying.”
A polite round of applause followed Moon Dancer’s speech, and then it was my turn to say something. But when I got up there in front of all of Arcane Star’s friends and loved ones, the speech I’d carefully prepared left me. All of a sudden, the simple and generic words about how charmed I was to have known him seemed meaningless and inadequate. How could I convey in a few sentences how we’d fallen in love thirty years ago? How could I explain how we’d raised one wonderful foal after another before falling out of love? How could I say that our marriage falling apart was my fault as much as it was his? That despite all of his failings and shortcomings, he didn’t deserve to be so cruelly taken from this world while suffering from all of the festering wounds we’d inflicted upon each other over the years.
Before I knew it, I was just standing up there crying in front of all who knew him. Although I couldn’t see through all the tears, I felt somepony leading me away and knew immediately that it was Moon Dancer. Soon, we found ourselves alone several paces away from the main proceedings.
Wiping away the tears, I looked at Moon Dancer as I struggled to say what I should have said days ago. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you through all of this, I’m sorry I….”
Moon Dancer just wrapped me up into the tightest hug she could muster and said softly, “It’s okay, Mom. It’s okay….”
And so we stood there, my daughter holding me as I cried. Yet despite the pain I felt in that moment, I realized with sudden hope that it was not born of guilt, but genuine grief. Grief born of guilt was nigh insurmountable, but this I could deal with. After all, even a superficial gold heart can shine in darkness.
Author's Note
Kind of annoyed I thought up the title for this chapter after uploading the story, because I think it would've made a far better title, but whatev.
