The Rise Of A Square World

Things were finally becoming more someone organized. This is normally not the scope of my life for you see my life is not that of a normal hero this typically makes things very messy confusing and really hard to follow up on especially if you’re someone with my lacking attention span.  Luckily I have an erratic obsessive compulsive control freak pony as a best friend and the fact that she’s the unicorn who can cast magic without the need of killing things is not too bad either.

The scenery around me was familiar we were back in a very special room a room in which a porthole to my world was built and we have a need for such a portal once more.  Rather than of course charging in head first like I would twilight insisted on being a little bit more organized with our assault.  We had already gotten through the very messy and loud argument over whether not the princess at should attend this little endeavor.  Of course the princess got her way seeing as she is technically ever once boss.  Despite twilight disapproving of it she was chosen to be the tactical manager for our little expedition seeing as the last one was done so sloppily it resulted in my death. This time we would be prepared.

We all stood in line for twilight to inspect us a very long stretch of paper floating in front of her face magically.  I found myself thinking of what process she had to go to make a sheet that big. In my experience you require crafting table to get paper and it makes a standard size in order to make a paper of such length you require a very large room with craft tables laid end to end.  But then of course I’ve seen of the ponies do not use crafting tables at all which raises the question as to how they make anything.  Eventually my train of thought was forced to stop at a station as twilight was now a dressing the entire group assessing our abilities and making sure we were prepared.

(twilight)  pinky pie she said turning towards the bubble gum scented and always bouncy young mayor.  You and vinyl are going to be on artillery.  Your party cannon and vinyl’s base cannon should give us a huge advantage over anything we might face.

(Vinyl)  boy I can’t wait to see what trolls world is like.  I bet the people there can party.  To the end of final statement pinky group quite the wide little smile on her face.

Twilight however silenced us as she was not yet done.  Earth ponies will carry swords unless there on the artillery and pay a sigh will carry bows and arrows.  Twilight then turn courts me and the princess.  The princess obviously will give us a huge magical advantage but it’s also noteworthy that no one day creature from trolls world can touch her for I assume they would burst into flame.  As for queen chrysalis…  Twilight then stopped to look around queen chrysalis was nowhere to be seen.

Hey bug pony I shouted where’d you get to?  I looked all around the room and I didn’t see her anywhere.  I saw the royal guards or still trying to convince Celestia not to go.  Then I saw the royal guards a chrysalis who had no doubt come from the same reason.  I find this world very strange and that fact I was no doubt the king of my city and yet should there be a battle I would be on the front lines.  The thought occurred to me that chrysalis might run off but as to why her royal guards are still here I have no idea.

(Rainbowdash)  that changeling must’ve betrayed us and run off scared.  I knew we couldn’t rely on her.  Rainbowdash said circling over everyone.

One of the bug ponies royal guards made a grunt as if disapproving a Rainbowdash as analysis of course Rainbowdash being well Rainbowdash she quickly went nose to nose with the guard questioning him as to where his queen might have gone.

(bug pony guard)  our queen would never run from a fight she is the most beautiful and deadly changeling of them all.  You should be lucky she’s even wasting her time helping you after all you are nowhere near deserving of her power.  The guards comments were not taken well by Rainbowdash however his comments seemed a little bit intentional in that way.  As I attempted to warn Rainbowdash of the tomfoolery I foresaw what with my vast experience of trolling she lung head first at the guard.

Just as she was about to tackle him to the ground his horn grew twice it’s a length along with his legs neck and wings.  Now standing in the way of Rainbowdash as attack was the queen bug pony herself.  Taking advantage of Rainbowdash a surprise she grabbed her forced her mouth open and planted the second most slimy loud and revolting kiss I’d ever seen on the poor rainbow main pony. I of course burst out laughing as Rainbowdash fell paralyzed to the floor.

(chrysalis)  ha ha ha do not worry twilight sparkle though I cannot guarantee you that I change my ways I will help you save our world and save the one I’ve come to grow in love.  She then began to sniff the air speaking of which I think there’s a group of ponies here to say farewell to us.

Chrysalis was right in walking from the giant door which separated this room from the hallway walked an assortment of ponies I both knew and did not know.  Three of them was obviously the sisters and obsessed fan club girl to three of the ponies that I’d know.  Apple bloom being the sister of apple jack sweetie bell being the sister of rarity and Scootaloo who was quite literally in the process of worshiping the one known as Rainbowdash.

But of course the parade of relatives and close acquaintance did not end there.  Luna cadence and shining armor all walked in to say goodbye and good luck.  In addition to that was most of the apple family twilight parents and a larger assortment of ponies one could not even begin to describe.  Despite my inability to comprehend the number of ponies now in the room my eyes locked on to a rather large fluffy one who was now talking to chrysalis.  By talking I mean well…  I don’t know how to describe it.  Nonetheless they were both about to engage in a very close hug when the fluffy pony stopped and pointed to a small amount of slime leaking out of one of the holes on chrysalis is legs.

Chrysalis looking as if she’d been scolded for dragging mud into the house did a motion most familiar to all living creatures.  Much like when you have a runny nose or a cold she plugged up both nostrils and gave a strong inhale.  The result of all the slime on her body being pulled back inside and disappearing.   Seem this action I quickly walked up and spoke with a great deal of frustration in my voice.

(troll)  wait one moment!  You mean to tell me at any point in time you could’ve sucked all that nasty stuff back into your body?  To my question chrysalis nodded her head.  Then why is it every time you’re around me I end up getting covered in the nasty stuff?

Chrysalis only began to laugh.  Because troll the slime is how I’m Marc my territory that an increase is my ability to sense certain things.  I try to get it all over you so that no other changeling can possibly mine control you even though you seem very resilient to that.  As for why I put it away when I’m around as fluffl puff is that I do not intend to turn her into my personal pet.  She is my equal not just a plaything to be violated.

My mouth dropped open and I was about to protest that I was none of those things either but as the bug pony disappeared into the bright pink fluff of the other pony I gave up and walked on to see what luna and Celestia were talking about.

As I walked up I notice luna was protesting against taking over Celestica his job even if for a moment.

(luna) at the and I’m still not certain if I can do this sister I have only just recently mastered the new way ponies speak.  I do not know if I’ll be sufficient in my ability to lead them especially in these uncertain times.

Please sister calm yourself I have ruled the lands for 1000 years and I’m certain you are fully capable of doing so as well.  Though I must remind you to keep an extra close eye on the sun’s motions and during the late hours that’s typically when it tends to drift a bit to the south.

They both then ended their conversation to glance at me.  Troll luna blushed in consideration of our slight encounter I’ve decided that when you return we must set aside some time to get to know each other.

It’s strange normally Id avoid this pony a cost considering their last encounter ended with me swallowing well…  Let’s just say their last encounter didn’t very well.  But nonetheless had become desensitized and a bit more observant to this pony worlds ways and I’m becoming quite confident I can avoid whenever danger a social encounter with the princess the night may entail.  I was saying my goodbyes to princess luna as she walked off to speak with fluttershy it was then I noticed the three ponies I’ve come to know as the cutie mark crusaders seem to be hailing me over.

Journeying over to their location I noticed in not only there strange choice of matching capes but that fourth member of the group was now present.  The small blank flank as they’re called was brown with red and bleacher red hair stripes.  She also had green eyes and accent which I’d never heard before in my life.  As I lowered myself to their eye level they all greeted me and introduced the mysterious fourth member.

(Scootaloo)  hi troll we want to say goodbye and show you the fourth member of the cutie mark crusaders.  Her name is Babs seed and she is apple blooms cousin.  The flightless pony said as she pointed to the fourth member.

(babs seed)  it’s nice to meet you when you guys come back you think you can spend some time with the CMC?  I think I’ll still be in town by then.

I was going to say I was unsure as for all I know the voyage into our world could last months but then it struck me I looked deep into the hypnotic eyes before the adorable little ponies.  Throw in the fact they’re all wearing matching capes and you have something I’m completely powerless against.  Of course I declared maybe I’ll show you how to make a castle of cobblestone.  The four ponies got excited and olive now was enjoying the attention so I thought of a way to entertain them even further.

Now the jump and place is a move learned by all heroes typically as to be taught to you but there are many heroes who discover it on their own.  It is a simple move because average jumped height is about one and 1/16 blocks this means if you jump out in the air.  Then quickly place a block below you, you will now be standing on top of that placed block.  This technique is normally used by mountain climbers.  I should also point out that this is a very wasteful method for scaling cliffs as all the material used is then it added to the side of the mountain thereby making it bigger causing huge waste more material on it the next trip. But I don’t think I have to worry about that in the middle of cantor lot castle.

I now looked down at the four ponies I was standing on a stack of two cobblestone blocks.  The four Phillies made all sorts of noises in wonderment but I was not done yet.  You see though gravity may work in this world differently but I’m not from this world therefore it can take some time for the information to catch up.  Whipping out my pickax I broke the block at the bottom of the stack causing it to disappear.  When I left behind was a floating cobblestone block that I preceded to decorate with torches.

(sweetie bell)  that’s amazing!  The little pony shouted unfortunately this caused her voice to crack sending a painful residence frequency deep into my ear drum.

(apple bloom)  well troll if you ever get tired of fighting monsters you can always go into show business.

I was right about to respond to the little pony when I heard a scolding noise come from behind me.

(twilight)   troll!  What did I say about doing things like that?  She said reminded me of an argument we had prior to getting into the nether gate room an argument I’d rather not regaled the details of.  Hey my life is not an open book for you people.

(troll)  twilight you only told me to obey the laws of thermodynamics you said nothing about gravity.  This loud argument cause the rest of the apple family together around me apple jack included.  When I looked at apple jack I know she was carrying a lot of burlap sacks.  What are the bags for I questioned?

(apple jack)  in the these here bags are to collect seeds from your world.  I know we really don’t have time for stuff like that and I’ll be sure not to do it when the time isn’t right but there has been a problem with food you gave us.

A problem I questioned what problem would that be?  As far as I knew the food was delicious and with its fast growing speed and a very small plot of land could produce an entire crop in only a few days.

(granny Smith)  the seeds you planted at the farm grow up way too fast.  We can’t keep up with the pollination of them and the quickly become hybrids of food here in equestria.  While that food may be delicious with each generation of infected we notice a growth time of the marginally longer.  It’ll only be a matter of time before all the things you gave us are just normal old crops.  We know there’s no way to keep up but we can at least take advantage of the opportunity to get more seeds.

It would appear the slower pace lifestyle of the plants here is a dominant recess and trait while the faster paced lifestyle of the plans back in my world is no doubt dominate by way of evolution.  Either way I decided to take the opportunity to speak the rest of the apple family twilight was drowned out amongst the ponies and had given up scolded me over my small rule Bending.

The apple family seem to come in all shapes and sizes primarily earth ponies there seem to be only one unicorn in the bunch and of course one changeling who I met earlier.  So Mr. Seedling I asked any plans on taking over pony vill?

Seedling was about to speak when granny Smith cut him off…  He’d better not have any plans like that or I’ll give him such a tongue lashing the echoes will rattle through his legs for dog’s life.

(seedling)  but granny?  The bug pony protested.  However his Pleas fell on deaf ears as granny Smith was not quite in the listening mode on that particular discussion.

But granny me nothing she declared you’re still in trouble little Mr. Listening to that queen over your own family.

It was then the bug pony herself happened over here the argument and since seedling is one of her subjects was therefore welcome to join.  However I was unable to focus on the conversation as I was currently examining a rather bizarre happenstance and the bug ponies approach.  You see when I’d left chrysalis she had dived headfirst into a fluffl of pony an action though not totally understood or supported by spatial reasoning who was still only somewhat possible.  now she approached us with the seeming opposite of fact engaged.  The sticking out of each one of the holes in her body was a fluffy pink puff of fur no doubt the fluffl puff pony being somewhere in the center.

Yep… I said gazing at the bug pony and with that lets go talk to vinyl scratch.  I obviously decided it would be best to avoid any clashing between the deep mental disturbance center that is chrysalis and the inherent stubbornness of the apple family.

Pinky pie and vinyl were both talking about the various parties they’d taken their cannons to.  Oddly enough the two stories did not differ that greatly and they both ended with the amusement and applause and large group of ponies.  Octavia being of a more refined nature was now posing in various battle stances with a soared I’d given her.  By

(Octavia)  my the swords your people use are so barbaric no offense intended.  The mayor said doing several fighting stances.

On that I shall agree with you actually there is not very much refinement in my world he and skill is more about brutality and overpowering ones me rather than being skillful.  If Mr. Brown were still alive I’m certain you and he would make great company.  I then turned to see vinyl and pinky pie laughing and having a good time.  So tell me I asked Octavia you’re clearly a higher class why is it exactly are risking your life like this?

The gray mare looked at me without a moment’s haste we now quickly stood sword too sword.  Why defending equestrian should be the duty of all the queen’s subjects not just the ruffians like vinyl scratch.  Besides despite my roommates inability to… well thank.  I would never forgive myself should something happen to her on one of her little adventures.

We did one are two motions as if we’re actually fighting for a moment but it was when the two of her sword hit my armor that are new conversation was struck.  Well I wouldn’t really say was a was conversation.  We’re both attempting to perform the motions of a good sporting fight when we’re all knocked back by a blast from vinyl’s base cannon.

(Octavia)  vinyl she scolded can’t I turn my eyes a few for one moment that you breaking something?  To this the white DJ mayor did several motions as if rolling her eyes hard to tell which is wearing glasses.  Hey the pony protested I didn’t break anything see…  She said pointing to me.  The only thing out of places old square head is now stuck upside down.  The unfortunately for me was a true statement somehow the blast said knocked me square on to my head and seeing is the top of my head is flat there I remained.

As I looked up or down in my case I saw twilight hugging her family good buy looking around the room I noticed similar encounters no doubt we’re getting ready to leave.  Pinky pie despite her bright and cheery nature had a family of varied colors and not so bright rock arson ponies.  Taking a closer look at rarities family I notice she did not grow up in the high class sophisticated household in thought she did in fact her parents looking like they’re more of on vacation.  It was this happenstance that may mean rather curious as to the parents of twilight sparkle.  If the current trend holds true I would say twilight parents are a bunch of party addicted slackers.  A group of people that I can most certainly get along with.

Jumping off the top of my head I quickly made over to twilight’s family where I was met by twilight’s immediate family of shining armor and her mother and father.  Unfortunately the train did not hold true as though twilight’s family were not of any particular high education such as twilight is there clearly not the laidback ponies I imagine in my mind nonetheless I figure I should make good impression.

(troll)  what’s up?  Unfortunately this simple greeting from my world was met with every pony in the immediate area gazing courts the ceiling.  Culture difference I shouted correcting twilight immediately but leaving her family confused.  Hello again as twilight’s farther finally brought his eyes back down from the ceiling.

(Mr. Sparkle)  well the gentleman said you’re Mr. Troll bridge.  Twilight has told was much about you of course we didn ever expect to actually meet you specially and the circumstances of well…  The man troll off as his wife came over and finished his statement.  What my husband means to say is it’s nice to meet someone so close to my daughter.

Twilight’s parents had several strange questions to ask me.  They wanted to know about a strange partnership ritual called marriage.  I’d never heard of such a concept before but it had something to do with raising children O no doubt have to ask a villager about it some time.  A villager seems like he’d know more about this world than anyone seeing as in many ways they fit right in here and pony universe.

The two ponies kept talking on about strange things I didn’t understand when an even stranger events happened the two ponies are questioning how I was to wear a rain without a horn?  Before I could tell them I have fingers and red face twilight somehow gained strength of big Macintosh and quite literally scooped me up off the ground. Using her magic she levitated me the rest of the way to the nether portal.

I turnaround to ask further questions about the ceremony twilight’s parents were talking about but twilight silenced me.  Rather than hearing me out she announced every pony that they should say their goodbyes and joiners of the portals entrance.  Allowing some confusion to overwhelm me and allowing the gravity of the situation to take me I lost sight of twilight’s parents and focused on the task at hand.

After a quick check list that twilight seemed rushed through for some reason she announced that I should be the first one through the portal.  As I stuck my hand into the event horizon I was able to confirm that this portal would definitely take us to the nether.  Looking over I noticed fluttershy was carrying a small metal box and speaking gently to the contents inside.  No doubt it was the magma cubes and considering her kind and gentle nature she was attempting to put it back into its natural habitat.

Well I said to myself looks like there’s nothing to do but go taking a deep breath I stepped into the nether…

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leaving behind the teary eyes and waves of goodbyes from all the ponies I stepped out into a tavern.  The walls were made of cobblestone and the floors were made of sandstone.  The bar was empty and I could sense no movement are living creature with and it’s empty rooms.  But stepping aside to make way a parade of ponies walked through.  The first being the princess accompanied by twilight.  Next was Rainbowdash, vinyl, Octavia, Applejack, rarity, and so on…

Soon enough we were all standing inside of the square diner like tavern that I did not recognize the lighting was soft and easy on the eyes and the room was so quiet you could hear even the sound of someone picking up an item.  Well I said to every pony…  Welcome to hell.