Author's Note

I'm surprised by the amount of positive feedback I got from the prologue. So, in all of its ~~glory~~ cringeworthy terribleness, here's chapter 1! I hope I played Discord well enough to honor John De Lancie's name.

Chapter 1 - Panic at the Discord

Twilight paced back and forth rapidly just outside the room of her newest 'guest'. Spike, on the other hand, was content to just sit against the wall and sip his soul-calming tea in order to relax the sheer amount of panicked signals his brain was releasing. "What am I going to do?!" Twilight asked for the thirty seventh time. "I attacked a foreign dignitary on my doorstep, I'm harboring a known criminal, and worst of all, I lied to my friend!" At this realization, tears began to burst from the alicorn's eyes. "Have I learned nothing about friendship?! Princess Celestia's going to send me to princess kindergarten!"

Spike sighed after sipping another mouthful of tea. "I don't think there is such thing as princess kindergarten, Twilight." Muttered the drake.

"That only makes it worse, Spike! Now she'll have to make a princess kindergarten... which will increase the already substantial education expenses and put our entire economy at a deficit! This is bad... this is really bad!" The lavender pony mumbled to herself. "There's probably going to be an entrance exam... and I haven't studied! I'm going to fail princess kindergarten! What's going to happen then? Will she remove my wings? Is the process magical or surgical... will I be able to afford anaesthesia? What if-" Twilight's nonsensical stammering of negative thoughts was finally brought to a halt by the presence of two talons holding her mouth shut.

In front of her stood a quite displeased looking chaos spirit, with a paw on his hip and a claw on the panicking pony's mouth. "Alright Sparklebutt, that's enough. This reality only has enough room for one being of insanity, and you're giving me a real run for my money!" Discord spoke, before picking up Spike and thwapping him against a line chart like a pointer, eliciting a pained yelp from the young drake. "In order to maintain a stable level of chaos, I'll have to cut back on my shenanigans this week. And you know how I love my shenanigans!"

The alicorn of magic responded by giving Discord a deadpan stare, and levitating her assistant out of his paw. "Look, Discord, I know you're trying to be helpful here," Twilight said patiently, with a sickeningly sweet smile. "But, I want you to know that you're being the opposite of helpful!"

Discord leaned in next to Spike, holding a hand in front of his mouth to hide his lips from the peeved purple pony princess's penetrative perception powers. "Psst..." He whispered. "What's the opposite of helpful?"

Spike gave the chaos deity an unimpressed look. "Unhelpful, Discord. Unhelpful"

Discord gasped before turning back to Twilight. "Why I never! Here I am, being a nice friend, and you go and tarnish my good name with such slanderous accusations! I'll have you know, I'm one of the most helpful villains you've ever reformed!"

Twilight just stared unamused. "You're the only villain I've ever reformed. Except for Luna, but that doesn't really count since it was the Nightmare that was the villain, not her."

Discord frowned, reading through a large stack of paper labeled ‘Head Canon’ with a groan. "Oh that's right. Marylight Glimmersue doesn't exist in this reality..." He mumbled.

"Who?"

"Nevermind." Chaos incarnate responded, waving a paw nonchalantly and tossing the hundreds of notes behind his back, burying Spike in all of the badly written papers. "The point is, you should be more thankful that I'm trying to be helpful. After all, you can use all the help you can get with Ms. Bugbrains snoozing in the room next store. And let me say, what a brilliant idea that is. The sheer amount of chaos that this situation will create is absolutely wonderful!"

"Wait!" Spike called out, struggling to extract himself from the giant pile of parchment. "I thought you were upset about Twilight causing chaos. Something about you not getting to do your job?"

Discord rolled his eyes, looking at Spike with the same annoyance a pony would display towards a badly made deviled egg. "Pish posh, I can always work overtime! Even if I couldn't, a vacation from Ponyville and Canterlot is always appreciated. I wonder if Vanhoover would be a good place to establish some chaos... I doubt they'd argue with it. Those ponies are way to polite for their own good. Anyways, I believe your guest is about to wake up, and I don't want to be in the room when that happens, so... toodles~!"

Twilight and Spike both broke into coughs as Discord disappeared in a bursting cloud of strawberry colored smoke that smelled of elderberries. Rolling her eyes once she could finally breathe, the studious alicorn removed the discordant berries with a second-ring banishing spell. "Yeah right. I saw how hurt she was. It'll be a week before she wakes up. A few days at the very lea-" The sound of a pained groan slowly emanated from the door behind her, causing sweat to form on the pony's brow. "Oh buck."

The first thought that came to Chrysalis's mind was pain. Burning, white hot, excruciating pain. She let out a soft groan as she searched into the hivemind for the cause of her agony. This was when the second realization hit her. The loud, deafening silence. Never in her life had she heard such quiet. Even in times of starvation and disease, when her people's numbers were dangerously low, the constant buzz of thoughts always sat in the back of her mind. Never before had she known anything to be this still, it was maddening. Groaning, she slowly opened her eyes and looked towards the black chitinous roof abov... That wasn't right. Instead of the smooth, curved ceiling she was used to seeing lit by the faint green glow of her hive’s rapidly diminishing love energy, her eyes were met by the sight of faceted crystal in shades of lavender and periwinkle. It almost looked like...

Her eyes shot wide open as she realized where she was. Struggling wildly, she attempted to remove herself from the surprisingly soft bed, only to realize her hooves were held down by a mere scrap of fabric. Grunting, she strained her normally powerful limbs against the cloth, but it did not rip. Chrysalis was panicking now, looking around wildly as she struggled to make use of her magic. Unfortunately, every attempt to do so was only met with painful feedback as the thaumic waves rebounded inside of her horn.

"Oh... uh... you're awake." Came a nervous voice from the doorway. Turning her head as much as she could, she narrowed her eyes in burning fury towards the pony standing there.

"Twilight Sparkle." The queen spat, before flinching slightly as she remembered what happened the last time she spoke those words. "Release me now!"

"If I release you... what will you do?" The alicorn asked in a timid voice that would have made Fluttershy ask her to speak up. Luckily, changeling hearing was much more advanced than the senses of a mere pony, so understanding the quiet mumblings was not a difficult task.

"I'll rip your kidneys out through your throat!" Chrysalis bellowed at the top of her lungs, causing the pony to yelp in fear. "I'll tear your feathers out one by one and use them to carve a hole in your horn! I'll stab yo-" The queen's rant was cut short by a ball of fabric being stuffed in her mouth, effectively muting the threats into mere grunts. Twilight had stuffed a sock in the screaming changeling’s mouth, before darting out of the room in fear.

She gagged you and tied you to her bed... Came a smart-ass thought from inside the queen's head. Kinky.