Chapters Chapter One
"Time is an illusion."
-Albert Einstein
"For the last time, I'm telling you guys to leave me alone! " I yell as three guys dressed in dark suits try to corner me.
All of them except for the leftmost one look quite strange. The one in the middle has blue and hair, and the one on the right has green hair that ends in a deep brown.
"You snitched on us boy." the central man calmly tells me while he pulls a switchblade out from his overcoat. The blade itself is engraved with an emblem of a candlelight, surrounded by a shadow.
"You've gotten me confused with someone else! I've never seen you before in my life!"
"Oh don't worry, John, we know exactly who you are." says the green haired one. The one in the middle glares at him for a moment, but then turns back towards me.
"You know what we do to your kind aro-"
The center man is cut off when I kick him right in the balls, and start to run like hell. I run out of the alley they cornered me into, straight into traffic. Cars honk and beep their horns as I start down the street, turning around to see them struggling to keep up.
Keep running John, you have to lose these guys.
I spot a back alley down the street, and start running towards it. While i'm running, the world around me starts to blur and flash random colors.
Keep going motherfucker, they probably poisoned you earlier
The flashing continues as I run. The faster my heart beats, the faster the distortion and flashing become. As I started down a back alley, still focused on getting away, I look back quickly to find those thugs weren't following me anymore.
"holy ....fuck..." I say to myself as I lean against the brick wall of the alley, trying to catch my breath.
I get up a few minutes later, having recovered from my spell, I look up to notice that the crazy ass flashing has stopped.
The poison must've worn off. Strange, why wouldn't they just dose me with something to knock me out cold?
I get up to start for my house, only realizing after leaving the alley that I had no idea where in the hell I was. I whip my phone out of my pocket, and fire up the GPS app.
*Error, 4G LTE unavailable*
"God dammit" I silently curse as I kick the sidewalk pavement.
"Hey buddy, you lost? " calls some guy as he walks funnily over towards me.
Did this guy learn to walk, like, a day ago?
" Um, uh... yeah actually. Where am I exactly? "
The man takes on a very confused look for a second, but then says
"Well son, I reckon you're in downtown Danvil-"
As the man speaks I start to feel a light trickling down my nose, past my mouth. I put my fingers up to my to my nose and then examine them. Blood. I pull my arm back as I feel someone else's hands on my back. Before I can a dizzying feeling take over. The world around me spins, and slowly gains speed. Colors and lights flash just like earlier. The world around me ages thousands of years in mere seconds. I watch as the man in front of me goes to a skeleton, and crumbles away. Cars on the streets withering away before me. Beautiful trees and plant life nearby, decaying.
I fall to my knees and watch as-
"BEHOLD THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS BROUGHT A BEAST FROM ANOTHER WORLD!"
Gasps and cheers come from around me as tiny, pastel colored, horse-like creatures stomp and cheer.
"The fuck?"
"IT... SPEAKS?" exclaims the light blue creature, who is wearing a fucking wizard hat.
"The fuck?"
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS BROUGHT AN INTELL-"
"Who the fuck are you, you blue ass motherfucker?"
"WHO DARES TALK IN SUCH A MANNER TO THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE?" She yells in a really annoying voice.
"Nigga, what?"
I walk up to the creature, trying to gauge if its a threat or not when, suddenly, the stick on its heads starts to glow.
"FEAR NOT PONIES, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WILL VANQUISH THIS BEAST!"
Oh, so they are horses. Huh that means this bitch is a unico- WAIT VANQUISH WHAT HOLD UP NOW!
"WHOA WHOA WAIT A SECO-"
The unicorn Trixie, as she calls herself, releases a beam from her horn. Striking me right in the chest. I fall down on my back and look down. Are those my... ribs..? A horrifying pain, worse than anything I've ever felt, fills me as my blood oozes out through my back, onto the ground. My vision all starts dim. The last thing I hear is Trixie screaming.
"OH CELESTIA THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HURT.... IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO SEND HIM BACK!"
Am I... dead?
Everything is still black.
Nothing.
This must be it...i'm ...dead..? But how would I still be able to think? Maybe I'm not dead... maybe.. yeah i'll wake up. I have to wake up. Please get up.
Suddenly colors flash and everything distorts until... I'm back where I was before...
"You know what we do to your kind around here boy?"
These guys again... but how? What the fuck? I died?
My thought is cut off when then center man stabs me with his switchblade, then turns around and starts to run like hell.
I look down to see blood trickling from my chest, right where my heart is. I try to scream, but nothing happens. The normal guy in the group of thugs jumps down and holds me.
"NO, THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. FUCK! AX- FIX ME!"
"It's too late for him. You know whats going to happen."
"You're......you're right, I'll be fine." The man looks down to my bleeding body with a smile only a madman could produce.
"Boy, I'm in for one hell of a ride, aren't I, buddy?" The man says with a slight chuckle as he looks to the green haired man beside him.
Colors flash. My vision dims.
Why was he talking like he was me? The hell?
"You know what we do to your kind around here boy?"
Not this time motherfucker
Before he can stab me, I grab his arm and twist it. The man drops the knife and shrieks in pain. I pick up his blade and get the hell out of dodge. As I'm running from the alleyway, I hear the two from before chatting.
"I told you that would happen! You owe me fifty bits, biatch!"
"Pfft, hardly fair, you already knew what would happen."
I keep running, not paying them any mind.
Whats happening. Everything is just.. resetting. Am I cursed? I thought I was dead... I was dead..
Before I can continue my thought, I run into the guy from earlier.
"Hey buddy, you lost?"
"No no no no not again.... I SAW YOU DIE! YOU TURNED INTO A SKELETON! GET THE FUCK AWAY! WHATS HAPPENING! I DIED, BUT I'M NOT DEAD"
The man looks at me, surprisingly his expression unchanged. He just smiles and nods to me. However, nearby people begin to stare because of my outburst. By the time I look around, I'm horrified of what I see. The exact same thing as last time happened. People turn into dust, buildings crumble. Cars wither away.
I feel that hand on my back again.
Colors flash. Everything shifts again.
"BEHOLD THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS BROUGHT A BEAST FROM ANOTHER WORLD!"
Everything is just repeating... the day just resets. Everything happens in the same order.
"Not this time bitch." I calmly say as I pull the stolen switchblade out of my pocket. The unicorn barely has time to put a horrified expression on her face before I shove the blade into her neck.
She falls down, lifeless. Unaware of what she did to me prior.
Before I can regret what I've just done, the ponies nearby swarm me. Their hooves kick into me, breaking bones and skin. I scream out in pain as everything goes black.
Am I cursed to live through this forever?
...................................
"You know what we do to your kind around here boy?"
...................................
"Hey buddy, you lost?"
...................................
"BEHOLD THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS BROUGHT A BEAST FROM ANOTHER WORLD!"
This time I turn around and fucking bolt.
I can't die again. No more. I don't want to feel that pain again... that horrendous, mind breaking pain.
I run down the candy colored streets. Everything in me telling me to go faster, even though nobody is pursuing me. I keep going, past building after building. I see a narrow alley between two shops and head into it, collapsing as soon as I'm within its confines.
"Hey buddy, you lost?" calls a green unicorn with dark brown hair. He stands at the end of the alleyway, with a strange blinking light on his wrist. As he slowly moves towards me, the blinking of the light quickens, when he's only ten feet away, the blinking is going nuts.
"NO! NOT AGAIN! AW HELL NAW! I WONT LET YOU TAKE ME AGAIN!"
"Um... I was just wondering if you're okay kid."
"WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR AR-ER-HOOF THEN? HUH! SOME KIND OF DEVICE TO SEND ME BACK. MAKE ME GO THROUGH EVERYTHING AGAIN? WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU BUDDY, YOU AIN'T TAKING ME TODAY!"
I turn around to run, but get nowhere when I trip and fall.
Chapter Two - Friends with a Unicorn
Chapter Two
I wake up in a dark room
This is it, the government has finally gotten me for all those movies I torrented. I'm going to live out the rest of my days here.
I sit up, surprised the government hasn't restrained me, or have me raped by packs of wild, rabid men. I try to get out of the small bed I was in, but a jarring pain in my head stops me.
"FUCKING FUCK HOLY SHIT THAT HURTS OH MY GOD WHY! I'M SORRY FOR THE MOVIES!"
Suddenly, I hear the squeak of a chair spinning around.
THIS IS WHERE THE TORTURE STARTS OH GOD
The light flicks on as the green unicorn gets up from his chair. When I see him, everything comes back to me.
"Oh, um hi. I see you're awake. " calls the green unicorn.
Was he... in that chair the whole time...
"We didn't get to properly introduce, when you knocked yourself out and all. You actually hurt your noggin quite a bit boy."
"Whoa whoa whoa, where the fuck am I. Why did you bring here you kidnapping creep!" I yell at the man- or, pony rather.
The unicorn looks at me with a smile, then sighs and sits down at the edge of the bed.
"Well, first, you would've bled out if I hadn't of patched you up. Your dumbass fell on a rock" I feel my forehead, and notice a snugly fit bandage going around my head. I immediately feel bad for yelling at him, because all he's done is help me.
"sorry...I didn't know" I tell him, still feeling bad for what I said
"Don't sweat it man, I couldn't imagine how scared you would be, being just summoned here."
"You know about that?"
"Everybody in that damned town knows about the 'monster that escaped into the city'. " he says that last part rather goofily.
"What do you mean that town?" I inquire, wondering if i'm in another place now.
" I brought you to my house, it's pretty far from where you were. You were summoned in a place called Dodge city. I live up in good 'ole Ponyville."
"But why did you help me? Wouldn't you be just as freaked out as them?" As I say this, all I can think about is my family at home.
Are they okay? Can I go back to see them? ...Could I kill myself just to go back and get a chance to stay, or would I even come back.
"Well, lets just say I like to help people in need, and boy, do you look like you need help." he says this, breaking my thoughts about my family and suicide. Slightly comforting me.
I live in a world with some magical ponies... Nevermind that, I fucking DIED AND CAME BACK. To top it all off, now I'm casually just thinking about killing myself ....whats wrong with me...I just want to go back home with my family and friends... but I don't think I will be able to.
"Names Axle by the-" I cut him off when tears roll out of my eyes, and drip down onto the bed sheets
"I won't be able to go back... Will I? I say in the voice of a scared child, in a new world. Before I can stop them, more tears come, just as easy as the last. They fall down, making a faint pit pat sound on the bed. I grab a pillow and sink my head into it as I start balling.
My Mom and Dad... Brothers and Sisters... all of my friends. Everything I know and love gone forever.
While my sobbing continues, the green one, or Axle, puts his hoof around me.
"I wont lie to you, this is going to be tough, but I'll work every day to find a way to get you back home."
I look at him and offer a smile, wiping a few stray tears from my eyes.
"I know I just..." He doesn't know about my ability... or curse rather. Should I tell him? No, he seems fine for now. I want to trust him, but I don't know if I can just yet. If im going to survive in this world, I need to be smart. I can't straight up kill someone who tries to wrong me. I saw ...I felt firsthand what happened when I did that to Trixie.
"Lets go get something to eat, that will probably help. You look like you haven't ate in days. Oh wait, it has been days"
Great, hes a fucking nut. Wait... it's been days... can I still go back? Last time when I died, I just appeared back a few minutes before I was summoned.
"It's been...days?" I ask him, wondering if he's telling the truth or not.
"Yeah man, I tried to heal your wounds, being magical and all, but I dont know what a healed version of your body consists of. So I couldn't really do much other than stop the bleeding with those band-aids."
"Bitch these aren't band-aids."
He seems to be getting friendlier... I guess I can trust him. For now. I don't know if he is like listening to my thoughts or some shit with magic though.
"Would't magic... just work? Why do you need to know what everything beforehand?"
"Well, usually I can do healing magic and stuff with others. For example a griffin broke his damn leg once, and I fixed him right up, despite never having healed one before. But for whatever reason, I can't do basic forms of magic on you, without taking multiple readings first. You see, my theory is that it might be due to the fact that you were summoned here from another time. You could have been from the past, present, or future, and I wouldn't know. To quote the old saying, Its magic mothabucka! I ain't gotta explain shit!"
I zoned out midway through his rambling, focused on one thing. There's fucking griffins too? Holy shit.
He looks over to me, and sees the surprised look on my face.
"Oh, I guess you don't really understand half of what i'm saying. I'll-" He's interrupted by hungry me.
"Can we stop standing here and go get some food already?" I softly yell to him.
"Oh, uh right! I forgot. Come with me dearie." he says that last part in a silly ass voice that only an old grandma would speak in.
"Please, for the love of God, don't ever say that again."
"Fine, you take all the fun out of things, you gotta learn to lighten up ... er I never caught your name?
"John." I tell him. Feeling a lot better about my little curse.
Looks like I've made my first friend in this new world.
Chapter Three - Meat Eaters
Chapter Three
"We're in the basement right now, John, so come with me. I'll show you to the elevator."
"Alright...Wait elevator? How do you even have that. From what I saw when I was summoned , there wasn't really any technology."
"Well, lets just say, being rich and having magic has its perks." He tells me, a smug look crossing his face.
"Pfft, beam your magic stick all you want. You don't have technology like my people did."
"Speaking of your people, you should tell me more about the world you were in, before all of this."
"I will later." I tell him, the lie coming easy to me because of my common truthfulness to all of my friends back on Earth. Or, at least the Earth I knew.
"Alright you promisssseee?" he says in the voice of a pre-pubescent child.
"Fuck you"
We walk silently after that, through the halls to the magic elevator. The walls in the basement are actually a really nice slate color. At least Axle knows his color shit. When we get to the elevator, I'm pretty underwhelmed. The 'elevator' is a fucking blue glowing circle of weird symbols on the ground. When you walk on it, according to Axle, you have to have your destination in the house in mind. So if you're thinking about naked women, and want to end up at the upstairs elevator, you need put away your mind-strippers, and think about the upstairs elevator.
"Alright, stand on it and concentrate, just like I told you." He tells me, as if he's done this a million times. Most laid back ma-or pony rather, of the year right here.
I take a step into the blue circle, honestly afraid of what would happen. If healing magic didn't work on me, who knows if this will?
"Concentrate John, thats it. Think of the next elevator, and you will just poof right up"
Fine.
Upstairs elevator...Upstairs elevatorr- HOLY SHIT
I look around, apparently this is the upstairs floor, or relative to the basement at least. I suppose this is the central floor of the house then.
Rich ass magical ass motherfucker. His basement was half the size of my home.....my home...
Don't think about it John, you have to play this smart.
Shortly after I step off of the blue circle, Axle pops right up.
"Gee, you took your sweet ass time" I tell him in the most sarcastic tone I could manage.
"Well, there was a sssllight chance half of your body could've not have went with you, and be trapped in limbo. I stayed back to make sure, if that did happen, that I could pull you back."
.............Motherfucker.
"So what you're saying, is that I COULD'VE DIED! AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME YOU DUMB ASS HORSE!" I yell at him, absolutely furious about the situation. He cowers down from my screaming. I can tell that he is deeply sorry for what he did, but that doesn't change the fact that he endangered my life. Even if he was trying to make sure I was okay, he should've fucking told me there was a risk involved.
In my rage I pull the knife out. He sees the engraving on it, and goes wide-eyed, but says nothing. I scream and throw it at the wall. It bounces out and clatters to the ground.
"Where...did you get that knife John..." He tells me, actually sounding scared for the first time since i've met him .
The hell? Is it special to him? No, that couldn't be... this was from back there...not here. Then again, I'm in a world of magic talking marshmallows. I suppose anything goes at that point.
"Why do you care, you almost fucking killed me with your magic elevator you fucking marshmallow!" As soon as I say that last part I can't help but start giggling.
"Hehe...marshmallow pony. Haahaaaa!" Axle looks at me like a deer in headlights. He probably thinks I'm batshit crazy now.
"Ummm...are you okay John?" he asks me, unsure if I'll yell or laugh at him.
"It's... fine, for now. Lets just go get that food, marshmallow ."
I can't yell at him like that again, no matter what he does. He saved my life... and i'm here yelling at him because he tried to make sure I was safe again.
"There's something I actually wanted to tell you about that, John. If you've calmed down from your strange behavior."
"What is it marshmallow man?" I ask him as my belly growls
"Whats a man? Eh, not important, Anyways I was actually going to get groceries today, but since you're here, I guess you'll have to go with me." My stomach rumbles at this green unicorns fowl speech.
"So the marshmallow that almost killed me, now is telling me that he doesn't have food for his lovely guest ?"
"Pretty much" He says with a smile that was supposed to be cute.
"I still haven't forgiven you." His face goes slightly red and his smile disappears
"Look, John I was just trying to make su-"
"Shut up. The sooner you stop talking about it, the sooner i'll be happy."
"okay. lets just go get some food."
"Finally, I've been waiting since I woke up." I say in the most cross voice I can manage, and head towards the door. Only to realize that I have no idea where the door is.
"Axle, where is the front door?" I say, looking straight at him as he paws the ground.
"Well, you just have to believe Johnny!" I hate that name.
"Don't say that again. Ever. Now can your shit and tell me how to get out of this house."
"Follow me" he sighs, drooping his head while walking into another room.
Maybe I'm being a bit too mean to the poor guy.
"Hey Axle, I'm sorry man. I know I'm being a dick, but I just... I'm pissed about being here. I want to be home, with my family." I vent while following him.
Honestly, I shouldn't have said all of that. That doesn't mean I don't like him... I just hate this place. I'm in a world of little horses that talk and do magic spells. Why couldn't I have been summoned to some damn world that I could be useful in, at least. I would prefer to not have been summoned anywhere. This is just too stressful. I need to just go and get food with Axle- I guess i'm not myself when I'm hungry. I need a snickers badly man.
He leads me to the door and we walk out into the cool, brisk, night air. Why do I have to be the only human here?
"The moon is beautiful tonight" I say whilst admiring the celestial body as it hangs in the sky without a care in the world.
"Better not say that around Luna, she doesn't really get any compliments, so she might try to have some kinky sex with you if you tell her that."
I regret everything. Fucking a pony... gross. Completely unaware of my disgust, Axle starts down the road. I have to follow him at a quick pace to keep up though.
"Who even is Luna?" I ask him, disgusted, but genuinely curious as to who this perso-pony is and what they have to do with the moon.
"Well, we are in Ponyville now."
I nod
"Ponyville is in a nation called Equestria, and there are two princesses that rule over the country."
"Wait but that's not how monarchies work there has to be a ki-"
"I know. But the princesses are what's called alicorns. They have wings and a horn, so they're a bit more special than the rest of us, being that they are the only alicorns."
"Oooh. But that doesn't explain the moon part."
"I'm getting to that, chill. Huh. chill. Get it? Because its cold outside!"
"Kill yourself."
"Anyways, there isn't a male alicorn around, so that's why there isn't a king. Also they control the sun and moon. They raise and lower it each dusk and dawn."
"Bullshit. The Sun, first of all doesn't move around us. The Earth revolves around the Sun, and The Moon rotates around the Earth. That shit works because of gravity."
"Well, duh. I know that, being an educated, strapping, young lad. But most of the population doesn't. It keeps them in power. If the ponies weren't scared that they would never see the sun or moon again, they would've been fed up thousands of years ago."
"Wait thousa-" I step on a pebble. Ouch. "...thousands?"
"Yeah, alicorns live forever."
"Damn. So what you're saying is that we're in North Korea, with a cyborg Kim Jong Un that will never die?"
"I have no idea what any of that is, John."
"Well T-"
"Hey we're here!" He interrupts.
We've arrived at some murder shack near the outskirts of town. If he thinks I'm going in there, he has another thing coming. Then again, if there's food, I'm ready to choke a bitch. The place is all rickety, with some of the wooden boards being cracked and rotten.
"The Hell is this? You taking me to a murder shack man?" I ask.
"Well, I saw those canines you have, and well I figured you like eating meat. Ponies are pretty taboo about that, so I took you to a meat shack on the outskirts of the town."
"Oh, shit. Thanks man. That's actually really nice. Do you eat any of it?" I ask him, curious about pony food philosophy.
"I've had it, and I definitely have some fond memories. But ponies have very strong senses of smell, so they might think i'm some sort of pony eating menace if they smell anything on me."
"That... actually makes sense. I guess you smelled meat on me too then?"
"No, I smelled some sex fluids around your waist when I carried you back to my place, which might I add, I know are yours because they correspond to your pheromones. Good job getting it all over yourself."
"....lets just get that meat."
We walk into the shack, Axle seems pretty calm, but I still think were going to get murdered here. Axle goes up to the counter near the edge of the area and rings a small bell. A big black pony comes out from the back, with a big cleaver picture on his ass. I decide that I'll ask Axle why everyone has little tattoos on their asses later.
"Whata'ya buying boys?" He says in a deep, scruffy voice.
"Well with everypony so taboo about the whole meat eating thing, I decided to come and get some meat for my friend here." He tells him.
Everypony.... he didn't say that before. That shits racist!
"Alright what kind of meat are ya lookin for stallion?" he says while looking to me.
I'm not a horse....
Axle looks over to me, expecting an answer.
I hope these guys have the same stuff as back home.
"Chicken. Lots of chicken." I say, my mouth watering at the thought of some chicken nuggets. That would be good right about now. Yum.
The man goes around the back and grabs some of what looks to be pre-prepared goods and brings them to me.
"Alright you strange creature, here's your chicken. That'll be 25 bits.
Before I can ask what the fuck that is, Axle pulls some gold coins out of his... somewhere, and hands it to the ma-stallion.
I guess its currency.... But holy shit that was solid fucking gold ... My God....
"Thank you sir" Axle says politely while he turns around. I follow suit and walk out with him.
"Well that went well." I sigh as we start walking back.
"Oh don't worry, we still need to get me some foodies , and then we have more shopping for you tomorrow. Because you're a bum that lives with the rich guy in town, It is my duty to purchase you some new clothes, and other goods." He says that last bit in a faux rich snob accent while winking to me.
"Ughhhhh I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."
Axle just shakes his head and sighs.
-~@~-
I walk up to the door, Axle behind me, levitating different foodstuffs around. I open up the door and nearly go and collapse on the couch before Axle stops me.
"Aren't you hungry?" He says while putting food down, walking over and opening what I assume is a magically powered fridge.
"But sleepy times await me. I must go to them!
"Help me put these up first at least. If you do you can have chicken for breakfast."
I hop up and run over to him.
"Aw hell yeah nigga!" I yell as I take food out of the bags and carry it to the fridge.
Strangely, there was a note on the chicken in front of me. I make sure Axle isn't watching and take a peek at it.
Trust the green one
Well that was ominous...
I look over, making sure Axle still isn't looking and shove the note into my pocket.
Things just keep getting weirder and weirder around here man.
