Sans vs Butter Dash

by freezerburn7

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Crossover
Length: 2179

When Sans and Rainbow Dash have an argument, they go in an all out fight.

While on a walk, Buttley and Sans bump into Rainbow Dash and Twilight, and Sans and Rainbow Dash have an argument between who is faster? They fight it out to see. Brutally. Violently. With a lot of blood.

Published 2016-05-13 21:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-13 21:30:01 UTC

Fighting it out

"So how's life here in Ponyville so far?" Buttley asked Sans. He and Sans were having a nice walk around Ponyville. Buttley wanted to show Sans the place he'll be in for probably the rest of his life. Or whatever he calls it. So far he hasn't showed a lot. Sans has been in Ponyville for a few days already.

"It seems pretty nice!" Sans said, "But is there a place where I can buy some ketchup and mustard?"

"First you're going to exchange the money you have to bits!"

"I already did that when we went by the bank earlier."

"Then we go to the grocery store, and buy the stuff. But why do you need those stuff?"

"It's what I eat."

"Oh." They walked a bit more until they reached the middle of town. Then somepony bumped into Buttley. Sans looked at who did it, and saw Twilight.

"Hey Twilight!" Sans greeted.

"Hey Sans!" Twilight said while a cyan pegasus helped her up, "Hi Buttley!"

"Hi Twily!" Buttley said, "What are you and Rainbow Dash doing?"

"Rainbow Dash was just wandering around, and I was looking for you. We just happened to bump into each other. I didn't know you were going to show him around this early!"

"Why were you looking for me?"

"Because you forgot your sack of bits!"

"Thanks Twily!" Buttley gave her a kiss on the cheek, and got back up. "C'mon Sans!" He turned to see Sans talking with Rainbow Dash.

"Sorry, but I believe that you are slower than me." Sans said.

"No way!" Rainbow Dash argued, "I'm so fast I did a sonic rainboom!"

"I'm so fast I can beat a stupid cyan pegasus!" Buttley and Twilight gasped at what Sans said.

"Guys break up the fight!" Buttley said.

"Maybe we should stay out of their way!" Twilight said.

"No way Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said, "I'm taking him down!"

"Bring it on rain-nerd!" Sans threatened.

"That's it!" Rainbow Dash lunged at Sans very quickly, but Sans just disappeared. "Come out BONEHEAD!"

"Right here." Rainbow Dash turned around, and a bone hit her. She fell back with a bloody nose. She wiped it with her hoof, and started flying. "If you were fast then you would have dodged my attack!"

He raised his hand in the air and brought it back down when more bones went behind him. The bones were thrown at Rainbow dash, but before it could hit her, Buttley hit her with a block of butter with his Butter Blaster. It hit her causing her to move out of the way.

"Do something to help Rainbow Dash!" Twilight pleaded to Buttley, "She'll die out there!"

"I'm on it!" He jumped up, and held on to Rainbow Dash.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Helping you!" He attached to Rainbow Dash, making her 50% her and 50% Butter Man creating, Butter Dash

"You're dead Sans!" she yelled. Sans pointed a finger at her, and a giant monster skull came, and blasted Rainbow Dash. She dodged it, but that wasn't it. More of the skulls came and kept blasting her.

"How do you like my Gaster Blasters?" he said. Butter Dash took the chance and used the Butter Blaster. It went so fast, that it hit Sans like a speeding rocket. He fell back with blood spraying out of his face. He fell to the ground alarming ponies who were in shops.

"Eat my Sonic Rainbutter!" Sans got up, and launched Gaster Blasters, and bones at her. She grabbed a bone with her right hoof, and turned her left one into a gatling gun. She aimed the gun at Sans, and tiny butter cubes sped towards Sans. Sans stopped the attack when he started getting hit.

"How is your butter so painful?!" he yelled.

"Because I'm fast, but with butter I'm fastER!" she said the last part louder. But the skeleton didn't give up. He was carried by a Gaster Blaster which did not shoot them.

"How about we melee this fight?" he said. A bone appeared in his hand, and a small Gaster Blaster on the other. The bone a sword, the Gaster a shield.

"Okay." She dropped the bone, and she got a butter sword and shield. Sans made the first move. He teleported of the skull, and behind Butter Dash. Before she can react, he slices off, her hind legs. She screamed in pain, and blood started to spread. But because she was half Buttley, her hind legs regenerated. She got up dropped her gear, and rapidly punched, and kicked Sans. Blood started spraying everywhere while he got beat up. She stopped, but then she did an uppercut causing him to launch sky high. He faced the ground, and extended his arm out to punch Butter Dash. She saw, and followed suit, but this time with a huge fist. The two kept going until, they colided hitting each other's faces. A huge explosion of rainbows, butter, blood, and bones was created then, they fell to the ground next to Twilight.

"Buttley?" she asked while poking both bodies, "Rainbow Dash? Sans?" The bodies stayed down, but then the butter got off of Rainbow Dash turning her back. Buttley reformed, and started crying in pain.

"You have no idea how bad this hurts!" he cried. Then he fainted like the other two.

"Looks like I have to take care of 'em." she said.

The next night

"Ugh what happened?" Rainbow Dash asked when she woke up.

"You and Sans fought." Twilight said, "I bandaged up your wounds, and took care of you guys."

"Where's the other two?"

"You're here on the floor with a sleeping bag, Sans is on the table next to you, and Buttley is on my bed."

"Are they awake?"

"Nope. But you should go back to sleep."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes because you nearly got my boyfriend killed, and no because I understand why you fought Sans. If you need me I'm going to go check on my boyfriend." Twilight trotted off, and Rainbow Dash closed her eyes. Upstairs Buttley was just waking up.

"Ow!" he said, "My head hurts."

"That's because you helped Rainbow Dash by mixing with her dear." Twilight said.

"Are you gonna keep calling me that until I'm better?"

"Which one are you fine with? Dear or sweetie?"

"Sweetie seems nicer. But where's Rainbow Dash and Sans?"

"Sans is on the table, while Rainbow Dash is in a sleeping bag on the floor."

"Who won?"

"Neither. They both fainted after making an explosion with rainbows, butter, bones, and a whole lot of blood."

"Maybe I should have just fought off both of them."

"That sounds better. I'm going to check on Sans now sweetie."

"Okay. I'll get some more rest. But what time is it?"

"It's actually 8 thirty-nine."

"Where will you sleep?"

"I'll just stay next to you."

"Okay. Just checking." Buttley closed his eyes, and Twilight kissed him on the cheek. She went downstairs, and saw Sans getting up.

"Ugh" he moaned, "Where am I?"

"You're back home Sans." Twilight said pushing him down, "Please take it easy."

"Sorry. Where's Buttley and the pegasus?"

"Rainbow Dash is on the floor next to the table, Buttley is on my bed."

"Are they fine?"

"Yes they are and I'm glad they are. But I'm kind of mad at you and Rainbow Dash for nearly killing my boyfriend!"

"Sorry 'bout that."

"It's okay. Just take it easy and sleep right now. It's pretty late."

"Okay." He closed his eyes, and drifted off. Twilight wiped her forehead, and went upstairs. She got on the bed, and hugged her buttery and sleeping boyfriend.

The next day

Twilight opened her eyes, and the first few rays of the sun came through the window. She looked at Buttley. He was hugging her, and looked cute. She removed his hand, and got up. She hopped off the bed, and went next to Buttley. She kissed him on the cheek, and headed downstairs for some breakfast. When she got down, she saw Rainbow Dash sleeping, but Sans was getting up.

"Morning Sans!" Twilight whispered. He looked at her, rubbed his eyes and waved his hand.

"Morning Twi!" he whispered back, "Should we make some breakfast for Buttley and Rainbow Dash?"

"That's what I was going to do." Twilight walked past Rainbow Dash, and Sans headed to the kitchen. When they were there Sans grabbed some eggs from the fridge.

"Can you hand me a pan Twi?" Sans asked. Twilight grabbed a pan with magic, and put it on the stove. She grabbed 4 slices of bread, and put 2 in the toaster, while the other 2 were put on a chopping board. Sans cracked all the eggs, and put them in a mixing bowl he found. He started mixing them with a fork.

"Do you know how to make toast faster?" Twilight asked Sans, "I need to make two more and the first two take too long."

"Can you put a deafening spell on the two sleepyheads?" Twilight's horn started to glow as she cast the spell. "Raise a piece horizontally so that the two sides should face up and down." Twilight did as she was told, a slice of bread was surrounded by Twilight's magic aura. Sans readied a Gaster Blaster, and it blasted the toast. There was a mark on the wall, but the bread was turned into perfect toast. Twilight and Sans made the next slice of toast the same way. Sans got back to the egg. He put in a pinch of salt, and poured the mixture into the pan Twilight left him. He turned it on and left it cooking.

"Can you make the coffee?" Twilight asked softly. Sans went over to the coffee maker and started brewing it up.

"Where are the mugs?" he asked. Twilight opened a cabinet, and using her magic, brought out a purple mug, a blue mug, a yellow mug, and a red mug. She set it down next to the coffee maker, and made some bacon. The toast popped up, and she grabbed it. She grabbed 4 plates with designs on them. 1 had Twilight's cutie mark, 1 had Rainbow Dash's cutie mark, a bone on another, and the last one had a butter design. She put one piece of toast on each of the plates. The 8 pieces of sizzling bacon was ready, so Twilight put 2 strips on each plate. Sans grabbed the pan of eggs and put some on each plate. Sans filled all 4 mugs with some coffee and set it based on color. Except for his, which was red. Twilight grabbed 4 forks, and put 1 on each plate.

"Do you want me to change your coffee into orange juice?" Twilight asked. Sans nodded, and Twilight casted a spell turning Sans' coffee into orange juice. "The deafening spell should've worn out by now. Let's wake up those two." Twilight teleported herself beside the bed next to Buttley. She started nuzzling his neck, putting butter on herself in the process. "Buttley it's time to get up!" she said. He slowly opened his eyes, and looked at Twilight.

"Good morning Twily." he said.

"Good morning." she said while kissing his forehead, "Feel better?"

"A few parts hurt, but other than that I'm fine."

"Great! C'mon! Me and Sans made breakfast."

"He can cook?"

"Apparently." Twilight helped Buttley get up. Downstairs Sans put the plates on the table. He walked over to Rainbow Dash. She was sleeping still, and drooling a bit. 'Awww.' Sans said in his mind, 'She looks kinda cute like that. He sat next to her, and started poking her. She moved, but didn't wake up. Sans went into the kitchen, Grabbed 4 ice cubes, and returned. He put 2 on each of her eyes, 1 in her mouth, and the last on her forehead. At first it didn't work so he got up to grab more ice cubes. He got a glass of ice cold water, and splashed it in the sleeping pegasus' face. When ti splashed on her she opened her eyes in an instant, spit the ice cube out, and gave a little "eep!" She turned to see Sans with a glass.

"Did you splash me with ice cold water?" she asked looking angrily at him.

"Yup." he said, "And I've gotta admit, you looked cute sleeping." Rainbow Dash's anger died when he said that last part.

"Thanks I guess?"

"Get up. Me and Twi made breakfast." Sans helped Rainbow Dash get up just as Twilight and Buttley came.

"Twilight said that you helped her make breakfast." Buttley said, "Why help her out?"

"I felt kinda bad for hurting Rainbow Dash. So I helped make breakfast."

"Thanks big guy!" Rainbow Dash said. The gang gathered around and ate the breakfast.

Author's Note

I know that the topic went off when Twi and Sans started cooking, but I didn't want it to end with them being injured. So I did that.:derpytongue2: