Harem Talk

by Jay David

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer, Slice of Life, Lemon Zest, Aria Blaze, Pinkie Pie (EqG), Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy
Length: 3223

Sunset and her friends have a rather odd discussion

What happens when a former unicorn, a few Sirens and some students from rival schools all start to hang out together in Sugar Cube Corner? A conversation about harem animes, apparently.

Part of the Rainbooms/Dazzlings/Shadowbolts storyline

Published 2016-05-15 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-15 21:20:02 UTC

Harem Talk

The sun shone brightly through the windows of Sugar Cube Corner, and on this lovely weekend afternoon, there were many of the regular patrons indulging themselves in everything the place had to offer, from cool and refreshing milkshakes to the many cakes on display at the front counter. As per usual, many of the customers today were youngsters from some of the surrounding schools, in particular, Canterlot High. But, in one booth in particular, a certain group was already here and enjoying themselves. There was Sunset Shimmer, alongside her classmate and friend, Rainbow dash. There was her former-ex-now-current boyfriend, Flash Sentry, sitting by her side. And on the other side of the table from them were a collection of girls who, at one point, were thought of as little more than enemies. Aria Blaze, of the Sirens, and beside her, Sour Sweet and Lemon Zest, from Crystal Prep.

It was an odd mix, to be sure, but all the same, the looks on their faces made it clear that they were having fun together, with the natural exception of Aria's usual dour expression. After finishing off her milkshake, Sunset let out a sigh of contentment, before then looking over her shoulder to the nearby counter.

"Very nice today, Pinkie. Thanks for making it."

Sure enough, Pinkie Pie, another of Sunset's friends, smiled to her from the other side of the counter.

"No problem, Sunset! I try my best!"

Nodding to that, Sunset looked thoughtful for a moment, before breaking into a small smile and speaking up to her again

"Actually...any special cakes over there today?"

A sly smile crept onto Pinkie's face at that.

"I thought you'd never ask!"

Turning, the poofy-haired girl called to the back rooms.

"Nata! We've got another order for today's special!"

Emerging from around that back door was Sonata, Aria's sister, who gave her pink friend a smile and a salute before replying.

"Roger Wilko!"

And with that, the two made their way to the back rooms, all while Sunset shook her head with a bemused expression. Getting back to her milkshake, she slurped it a few times further, all while Rainbow looked over to Aria.

"Looks like your sis is getting on pretty well here."

Aria shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, she likes it. But then, if it's a job that Pinkie likes, I don't think that's much of a surprise."

There was a round of agreeing nods at that, and while most simply got back to their drinks, Lemon couldn't help but keep her eyes upon Flash, who, moments later, started to notice it.

"Um...yes, Lemon?"

Gaining a smirk, Lemon leaned forward on the table, looking to both him and Sunset, before speaking up.

"So...I hear you two are back together now, right?"

A slight blush crept onto the cheeks of both youths, who looked at each other before giving Lemon a simultaneous nod. Chuckling slightly, Lemon leaned back into her chair.

"Hey, it's cool. No criticism here. It's kinda nice though, old flames and all that."

Sunset let out a sigh, followed shortly by a small smile.

"Yeah...I hope we can make it work."

Looking to his girlfriend, Flash returned her smile, reaching over and gently placing his hand upon hers.

"I know we will."

Sunset looked to him, seeing the confidence he bore in his eyes, and couldn't help but widen her smile at the sight of it. As for everyone else on the table, while Sour and Lemon took on similar looks of "dawwww" about this scene, Rainbow and Aria, in a rare moment of camaraderie together, rolled their eyes at  this rather lovey-dovey moment. When it passed, however, it was Sour who spoke up.

"Yeah, it's pretty sweet, what you two have got going on."

A dismissive look then crossed her face.

"Heck, it's probably more than what we've got going on at our school."

Lemon nodded in agreement at that, looking rather disappointed as she did so. Rainbow, for her part, looked somewhat interested in such words.

"What...aren't there any decent guys at your place?"

To this, both Lemon and Sour let out hearty laughs together, ending when Lemon wiped a single laugh-induced tear from her eye before giving an answer.

"Hardly! Most of them are a bunch of stuck-up snobs! I mean, they're our stuck-up snobs, but still..."

Sour nodded.

"Right, I can't think of a single guy at our place I'd actually want to talk to, much less date!"

Flash looked to them, seeming somewhat sympathetic.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But, on the plus side, I'm sure girls like you and your friends will catch a nice guy one day, right?"

Both Lemon and Sour raised eyebrows at that remark, as indeed did Aria. Seeing this, Flash suddenly found his milkshake to be very interesting indeed, and so started slurping it down, all while Sunset watched him with amusement. After a long and awkward silence, Aria let out a snort.

"Seriously, Sentry, you've got to stop with this whole knight-in-shining-armour thing you've got going! You're already going down that harem hero path enough as it is!"

Naturally, that earned the Siren all manner of odd looks, none more so than from Flash himself.

"Um...pardon?"

Realising what she'd said, Aria suddenly looked a little embarrassed, and she cleared her throat a little before starting to explain.

"Well...I...look, sometimes, when Sonata's at home, she likes to watch some weird stuff on TV. One time there was this show, a cartoon I think, and it had this one really nice guy who kept getting attention from all these girls."

Looking to her, Lemon's face lit up.

"Oh! I know that one! You mean Super-Mega-Love-Time-Harem-Warriors?!"

Again, odd looks were about, but Lemon was unfazed, looking to Aria for confirmation. As for the latter, she kept darting her eyes left and right in confusion, before finally shrugging her shoulders.

"Um...I guess?"

Lemon clasped her hands together and let out a happy squeak.

"I love that show! I mean it's stupid and silly, but I love it!"

Ignoring her, Rainbow turned to Aria, raising an eyebrow.

"And...you watch it?"

Aria's head snapped in her direction, bearing an angry look.

"No! It's just...when we're at home, and it's Sonata's turn to choose TV, she usually picks weird stuff like that. And I'm there, reading a magazine and stuff and...well...it's just hard to ignore, you know?"

Smirking a little, Rainbow patted her shoulder, much to Aria's annoyance. As for Flash and Sunset, they glanced at one another, still clearly confused by all of this, before, at last, the former spoke up.

"So...um...Aria? You were talking about how I'm like that show?"

Looking to him, the Siren gained a smirk of her own, giving a short nod.

"Yep. Pretty much."

Folding his arms, Flash took on an incredulous expression.

"Am I now? And how's that?"

Reclining back into her chair, Aria started explaining herself.

"Well, think about it. One good-looking guy, surrounded by a whole bunch of young and pretty girls? It's the classic formula."

Flash rolled his eyes.

"Oh please! That's just a coincidence."

Here, Lemon chimed in.

"No, she's got a point. I mean there's Sunset, the other CHS girls, you've got Aria and her sisters, and heck, to some extent you've even got me and the other Crystal Prep girls too!"

To this, Flash frowned.

"I haven't got any of you! Firstly, Aria's got a boyfriend. Secondly I'm friends with you, and yes, I'm dating Sunset, but that's hardly the same as having a harem!"

Here, Rainbow looked to him, looking somewhat thoughtful.

"I dunno...I mean, you are pretty much our only guy friend."

Flash looked to her, surprised.

"What?! That can't be right!"

Here, even Sunset seemed to nod in agreement.

"Well...Sour and Lemon did say they aren't really that close with the guys at their school, and as for us...well...yeah, you are pretty much the only boy in our group."

Looking to his girlfriend, Flash maintained his surprised expression.

"Oh come on! There's got to be some other guys you girls are close friends with!"

Raising an eyebrow, Sunset folded her arms, smirked a little before replying to him.

"Name one."

Flash opened his mouth to speak, only to suddenly find that he couldn't think of an answer. As time went on, and the other girls started looking to him with amused look, the boy seemed to be struggling more and more to come up with an answer, shifting his eyes slowly from left to right as he did so. The other girls, for their part, gave him all the time he needed, occasionally sipping their milkshakes as they kept looking at him. Eventually, and after gaining a strained expression, Flash finally spoke.

"Um...Big Mac?"

Rainbow shook her head.

"Sure, but brothers of friends don't count in talks of couples and stuff. We've got rules about that!"

Scratching his head, Flash resorted to his last option.

"...Spike?"

Here, the other girls let out a sigh, shaking their heads with a degree of disappointment to them.

"Told ya," Rainbow commented.

Looking to her, Flash frowned slightly.

"Okay, so maybe I am the only guy you girls are that close to, but it still doesn't change anything. Having one guy be friends with a bunch of girls does not a harem make!"

Lemon chuckled to that.

"Sure, but there's evidence number two...variety!"

Raising a hand, Flash rubbed his temples slightly.

"Ugh...what?"

Looking rather pleased with herself, Lemon explained.

"Well, think about it. One typical thing about those shows is that the one guy had this whole variety of girls around him. There's the shy demure and timid one..."

"That'll be Fluttershy," Rainbow added.

"...there's the ex with the dark and mysterious past..." Lemon continued.

"Yo," Sunset conceded, raising one hand.

"...there's the tomboy," Lemon explained.

Rainbow raised a hand to that one, prompting a chuckle to escape Lemon before she continued.

"Heck, count AJ, Indigo and Aria in there and you've got four of those ones!"

Aria looked to her with a frown.

"Didn't you hear him? I've got a boyfriend, remember?"

Lemon looked to her with slight annoyance before shrugging her shoulders.

"Fine, three tomboys then. But my point still stands!"

Flash continued to bury his face in his hands as this went on. And go on it did, as Lemon continued to count off her list.

"There's the confident, sexually-forward one..."

Aria smirked.

"Yep, that'd be my sister."

Here, Lemon's mischievous grin grew.

"Actually, if you count the two Twilights...you've even got twins mixed in here!"

Letting out a pained groan, Flash finally spoke up.

"Okay, so maybe there's a few similarities. But you're forgetting one important thing here."

Looking to Sunset, he placed his hand upon hers once more.

"I'm already in a relationship. One I'm very happy with, thank you very much!"

Sunset smiled to this, but it was short-lived, as Lemon simply giggled to that.

"Sure, but then, most harem shows have that too! One girl that's the obvious choice for him while all the other girls keep fawning over him."

Flash frowned.

"Oh yeah? Well at least I know I don't have that going for me. I mean, it's not as if any of the other girl-friends I have ever crushed on me without me knowing."

Here, Rainbow looked away, coughing nervously while desperately trying to hide the slight blush that now emerged on her cheeks. Flash, as well as most everyone else here, looked to her, seeming a little confused at this behaviour for a few seconds, except for Sunset, who looked to Rainbow with a knowing smirk. Soon afterwards though, they got right back to business, with Sour being the one to speak up.

"Anyway...I'm pretty sure you have had other girls like you, Flash. If not your close friends, then some of the other CHS girls."

A smirk crept onto her face.

"Actually...weren't there a couple of girls you were rather chummy with during the Friendship Games?"

His expression softening somewhat, Flash let out a sigh.

"You mean Lyra and Bonbon?"

Sour nodded, and the other girls all joined her, with Sunset speaking up afterwards.

"Yeah...they did seem rather taken with you."

There was no sense of accusation in her voice, and, in fact, it was actually rather playful, but even so, Flash still sounded like he was on the defensive.

"Well...we've been friends for years. Back before CHS, we went to the same school. And, well...they just like the occasional flirt, but nothing's ever really come of it."

Sunset nodded.

"Yeah, I know. Besides...I get the feeling you're not really their...um type."

Flash sighed and nodded, conceding that point. But, before he had the chance to say anything else, Rainbow chimed in.

"Hey...didn't Derpy have a thing for you? I mean, she did seem to like you helping her out and stuff over the last year. And the way she looked at you when you were with her giving birth? Yeah, she definitely had something for you there."

Here, Flash shook his head.

"Again, we're just friends. And as for the help...well...she needed some with her kid on the way. And with the Father in the picture now, it...look, even if I did have those kinds of feelings, it'd just be way too complicated now."

Here, at the very least, there seemed to be some general agreement amongst the girls on that point. Even so, Lemon continued soon afterwards.

"Sure, you've got friends and all that, and yeah, you've got an official girlfriend, but if that arrangement has taught me anything on TV, it's that there'll always been a lot of sexy times on the side."

Hearing that, Flash, simply planted his face smack-dab in the middle of the table, with Sunset patting him on the back afterwards, giving him a comforting smile. Ignoring the boy's clear exasperation, Lemon carried on.

"It's a classic scene, the one guy, even with his girlfriend, gets involved in some comedy sexiness with one of the other girls."

"HA!!!"

The arrival of the sudden laugh caught everybody off-guard, and they turned in unison to find that it was none other than Pinkie. The girl, having finally brought a tray of the requested cakes, set the thing down on their table before speaking up to the Crystal Prep girl, placing her hands upon her hips as she did so.

"Good luck with that! Flash wouldn't budge an inch! I mean, you could throw yourself at him, naked in a hot-tub, and he'd still try and keep himself all pure and stuff for his girlfriend."

All the group stared at her, and Sour especially seemed curious to those words.

"Wow, that was...oddly specific. And how would you know that?"

Pinkie opened her mouth, only to be struck with the realisation that Flash was giving her a very clear "please don't tell them" look. Sunset, meanwhile, understanding this completely, was trying her hardest to keep back her giggles, and in the end, Pinkie gave her "answer".

"Um...reasons?"

Naturally, none were convinced of that, but, sadly, they didn't have the chance to question her further, as Pinkie suddenly started scooting off back towards the kitchen. With that sudden and unexpected distraction over and done with, Flash, at long last, started speaking up again, turning his attention to Sunset.

"You know...given what's being talked about here, I was kinda expecting you to be a bit more...um...upset about it?"

But Sunset merely smiled at that, placing her hand upon his before replying.

"It's all in good fun, Flash. I know you'd never try anything with someone while you're seeing me. You're just not that kinda guy."

Flash smiled at that reassurance, only to look on as Sunset turned from him, gained a thoughtful look, and kept talking.

"Besides, talks of harems aren't exactly uncommon where I'm from."

As one would expect, that caught everybody's attention, and Sunset, realising she was now the centre of everybody's stares, cleared her throat a little before explaining herself.

"Well, you see...look, back in the old days of Equestria, that kind of thing wasn't unheard of. The mare-to-stallion ratio back home is ridiculously one-sided, so one guy getting lots of girls wasn't really frowned upon. Sure that practise died out after a few centuries, but still..."

Of course, most of them seemed to take an interest in that, with several looking to the other native Equestrian, Aria, for confirmation. Here, the Siren smirked and nodded.

"Oh yeah, those were the days, especially when my sisters and I got it the other way around."

Most were rather unnerved by those words, especially when the Siren wore her customary sultry expression, but Lemon simply gave her a sly smile and a nod.

"Sweet."

Aria nodded in agreement, and together, the two girls gave one another a brief fist-bump over it. As for the rest, they simply tried to get their minds around the whole thing, all while Flash continued to rub his temples in a clear display of stress.

"Ugh...I can't believe we're this deep into this conversation."

Chuckling, Rainbow patted his shoulder a bit.

"Don't worry about it, buddy. We're just joking."

Lemon nodded to that.

"Yeah, we never actually suggested you should try something like that. But hey..."

She then pointed to Sunset and Aria before looking to the boy again.

"...if what those two said are anything to go by, then you've at least got a precedent for it. Just keep in mind all the hot young girls you've got around you twenty-four-seven. You know, having Sunset as a girlfriend but having a bunch of flirts from other girls on the side..."

Her expression, just for a moment, become a somewhat sultry one.

"...maybe enjoy stuff like the occasional footsie moment under a table?"

At first, Flash seemed confused by those words, only to have his eyes widen with realisation. He looked down to the table, then back to Lemon, just in time for the latter to wink at him. Slowly, he looked over to Sunset, his voice stammering a bit.

"I...I thought that was you this whole time!"

To begin with, Sunset seemed unsure of what he meant by that, but it was short-lived, as she too was struck with realization. Snapping her head back in Lemon's direction, Sunset frowned at her, and moments later, everybody heard the distinct sound of a swift and sharp kick under the table. Though taken aback, everyone looked to Lemon, who grimaced slightly, before then softening her expression, chuckling a little.

"Yeah...okay...I deserved that."

The mood around the table was one of both amusement and awkwardness at this, and Flash, looking to all the various girls around him, simply let out a sigh.

"This...this is gonna be my whole life now, isn't it?"

And the others simply looked to him with varying degrees of smiles and smirks, amused by all of this, nodding and speaking in unison.

"Yep."

Hearing that, Flash, conceding the whole thing, leaned back into his chair and stared at the ceiling.

"Right...should've expected that."

Looking to Lemon, Sour leaned in closer, whispering to her so nobody else could hear.

"Of all the guys to get stuck in this position, why does it always end up being the one who doesn't want it to happen?"

Turning back to her, Lemon simply smiled.

"Because it's funnier that way!"