Being a spy comes with a lot of cool perks: secret identities, high tech gadgets, the license to kill, fancy carriages, and the right to be really snooty about ordering your milkshakes shaken, not stirred. But out of all the bonuses spies get, my favorite is probably the lying. Not that I’m a pathological liar or anything, but I’ve always liked the way a spy can just reinvent themselves at a moment’s notice. Give me a couple days to sort out the paperwork and work out my background, and I could pass myself off as anything from a babysitter to a princess.
Of course, it turns out that there are people out there who are way better at that game than I am. I should know—one of them was my date for tonight. A date who was currently five minutes late. And while it’s totally fine and expected for a mare to make the guy wait, if it’s the stallion doing it to the mare, that’s a whole other thing. Social conventions are weird that way.
Sure, technically Puzzle was a genderless shapeshifter, but he seemed to default to male forms. Plus I’m not really into mares, so that made him close enough to a stallion for me.
Though I couldn’t get too annoyed with Puzzle, seeing as we weren’t even a real item. I think. Maybe. Kinda hard to tell when our entire maybe-kinda-relationship was based on lying to and manipulating each other, all centered around Sunset Shimmer. I’m not even sure if our dates were really dates so much as an excuse for us to meet up, talk shop, and compare notes. But since calling them dates meant he paid for dinner and took me somewhere nice, I wasn’t gonna complain. Well, as long he didn’t get fresh with me.
Don’t get me wrong, Puzzle’s pretty cute for an evil, manipulative, love-sucking bug. Fun to talk to, and remarkably charming in his own creepy evil monster sort of way. I almost regret illegally imprisoning him for several days, and there’ve been a few times I hoped I would never have to make good on that promise to kill him if he crosses the line with Celestia’s student. Granted, part of that’s because I’m not sure I could actually pull it off; Puzzle’s probably better at the game than I am, at least as long as we’re playing by conventional rules. I just had to hope that if it came down to that, I’d be able to out-crazy him. Though in a pinch, I could always pull the Celestia card on him.
Wonder what he’d be like in bed? I mean, he’s a changeling, which means he could change any part of his anatomy. That could be fun, if not for the fact that he’d probably sink those fangs into my neck halfway through the sex to suck out my love. Bit of a mood killer, that.
I sighed and leaned back in my chair, earning a dirty look from the waiter. The Galleon Grill was one of Freeport’s hot new places, and like most high-profile restaurants, the staff were a bunch of snobs about it. The Grill wasn’t even some fancy black-tie place, so you’d think I could get away with being a bit casual. Seriously, when you build your restaurant in an old merchant ship that ran aground during a storm, you lose the right to be snobbish. The worst part was that I was hungry, but couldn’t snack on anything. Not even diplomatic immunity would save me from bringing outside food into a restaurant. I learned that one the hard way.
Since I couldn’t eat until Puzzle showed up, I tried to distract myself by studying the menu. It was weird. Like, weird even by the standards of Freeport. Freeport cuisine was always a bit odd, because a bunch of islands with limited farmland meant a lot of the classic staples were out. Less bread, more breadfruit.
The other side of things was that Freeport was a major trade hub, and one of the things traders from every side of the ocean brought with them was their food and culinary preferences. You could find reasonably authentic Equestrian, Gryphonian, Zebrican, or half a dozen other varieties of food in Freeport if you knew where to look. Or, as was the case with the Galleon Grill, you could find some crazy fusion of all of the above. The first item on the menu was a breadfruit pizza with some sort of spicy sauce that came from Zebrica and topped with shrimp. From there, the menu got weirder.
I was so distracted by trying to figure out what to eat that I almost didn’t notice the suspiciously bland and uninteresting stallion sneaking up behind me. Sure enough, there was a carefully hidden green flash, and then Puzzle was back in one of his customary disguises. I’d never seen him in his actual changeling form, and I kinda had the impression that he didn’t like showing his real face. Something I could totally understand.
Puzzle took a seat across from me, smiling politely. “This one apologizes for its tardiness. It had a rather troublesome client who demanded too much of its time.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.” I smirked at him. “You had a full fifteen seconds left before I would’ve walked out and dumped you. Plenty of time.” I threw out a quick change of subject to keep him on his hooves. “Nice job on the sneak-up, I almost didn't see you coming.”
Puzzle followed the sudden shift in topic without any trouble, which was probably a sign that he was getting to know me way too well. He grinned and started looking over the menu. “This one did not want to be too stealthy. Frightening one’s date is hardly the best way to begin what this one hopes will be an enjoyable evening.”
I smirked across the table. “Then why pretend to be somepony else until you were just a couple steps away from my table? That might’ve startled me.”
Puzzle leaned back in his chair, chuckling. “Habit.”
I couldn’t let that pass without comment. “Interesting habits you have.”
“One acquires quite the esoteric assortment of daily rituals in this one’s line of work.” Puzzle’s eyes flicked around the room. “For example, this one spent a minute checking to ensure that it was not followed, and also to ensure that there were no eavesdropping spells or devices that might ruin the privacy of our conversation. And of course, enough observation to ensure that the Heartstrings-mare was who she claimed. This one has had quite enough of being fooled by changeling impersonators for the time being.”
“Yeah, gotta be embarrassing to get skunked by changelings when you’re a changeling too. You bugs need to come up with a secret hoofshake or something to make sure that doesn’t happen anymore.” I was tempted to push him on the issue of his recent run-in with Chrysalis since Sunset had been mixed up in the middle of it, but I decided to hold off on that for the moment. I had the whole rest of the date to pin him down and make him squirm about one of his jobs ending with Sunset in the hospital. Besides, you always keep your target guessing and off balance. It was like one of my teachers said: ‘If knowledge is power, then to be unknowable is to be unconquerable.’
So instead of following up on that opening, I got back to the actual date, idly flipping through the menu. “So, I was thinking of trying the gaghracht, but I'm slightly deterred by the fact that I have no idea what that is.”
Puzzle answered with a dry smile. “It's actually pretty good.” He paused, then amended, “Well, no—it actually tastes revolting, but you don’t eat it for the taste. What makes it good is the unique sensation of live bugs squirming around in your stomach after you swallow them.”
“Oh.” Welcome to the hazards of multi-species and multicultural dining. Though I can’t believe even gryphons would eat something that gross. “I think I'll pass for now. In fact, if you tell me anything more about that stuff, I think I might just lose my appetite altogether.” I scanned the menu for something that sounded reasonably safe. “Here we go, fried breadfruit dolma with acuka sauce. Menu says you can get it vegetarian or with meat, so I should be safe on that front.”
Puzzle grinned approvingly. “Ah, going for a Zebrican twist on your dish? This one finds acuka sauce a bit spicy for its tastes, though they might use a milder version than this one’s parents enjoyed. Or if the Heartstrings-mare would prefer something safer, traditional Zebrican dolma is served with tomato sauce and garlic. Though traditional Zebrican cuisine also uses peppers or eggplant instead of breadfruit, so...”
“Think I’ll stick with the way it is on the menu.” I didn’t know anywhere near enough about Zebrican cuisine to start customising my dishes. “If it turns out too spicy for me, at least I won't be bored. So what’re you getting?”
Puzzle tapped his chin thoughtfully. “This one will get the Freeport Kaniyarik. Even if it uses fish and a few other local touches, the rest of the ingredients are authentic Zebrican, and those may become considerably more expensive in the near future. This one would prefer to enjoy such pleasures while it still can.”
From what I knew of Puzzle’s financial resources, the price of Zebrican spices doubling wouldn’t have any impact on his ability to enjoy all his favorite dishes. However, his casual remark made it clear he wanted to talk shop. “So if we’re talking spice prices, I guess that means you heard the news about Prince Sulei.”
My date nodded. “This one imagines that it heard the news at the same time as the Heartstrings-mare, if not sooner. It does have many contacts in Zebrica, while the Heartstrings-mare’s responsibilities with the EIS are largely focused upon Freeport itself.”
“Yeah, but even in the EIS ponies talk.” I shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like the death of the Zebrican crown prince was gonna be a secret for very long anyway. It’ll probably be all over the newspapers by tomorrow morning—the day after at the latest. The guys at the Zebrican desk wouldn’t stop speculating about how this is gonna play out.”
“The heir to the throne dying so suddenly and mysteriously does tend to cause no shortage of political chaos,” Puzzle agreed.
“Even moreso if he didn’t die of natural causes,” I chimed in. “If we assume foul play, it’s not hard to figure out who our prime suspects should be. I mean, maybe his siblings got lucky and he randomly fell over dead because of a blood clot in his brain or something. But...”
“This one wouldn't bet any coin on it,” Puzzle nodded along. “It is something of a flaw in any system where inheritance passes down the family line. The younger brothers and sisters have a great deal to gain by the elder’s death.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully, then shrugged. “Of course, it makes little difference whether Sulei died naturally or was murdered so long as the killer is not caught. What matters is that he is dead, and now the succession is an open question.”
“Which means everyone’s gonna be nervous until things settle down,” I agreed. “Nobody likes doing business in a place that might have a civil war soon. Merchants make fewer trips to Zebrica, Zebrican goods get more expensive. Basic supply and demand.”
Puzzle grimaced. “Considering how succession crises usually go in the Empire, that is quite prudent. No merchant captain wants to have their vessel forcibly conscripted into running supplies for a claimant’s army, or seized and converted into a warship. Far safer to stay away until the dust settles.”
“Yeah...” I decided to dig for a little information. “So who do you think will come out on top once the crisis is over? Ozgur’s the oldest, and everyone at the embassy was saying he’s pretty popular at court. But Batur won those border skirmishes with Gryphonia, and the army’s loved him ever since then.”
My date nodded thoughtfully. “Popularity and legal claims are all well and good, but if it becomes a civil war, this one would be inclined to bet on the one with an army. If he wins the war all the pragmatists will flock to his side quickly enough, and a suitable legal pretext for deposing his brother will be found or invented.”
He had a point, but he was only seeing part of the picture. Or, probably more likely, testing to see if I would only see part of the picture. “I wouldn't rule out the popular guy. He might not have his own army right now, but he has lots of friends at court—friends with money, power, and influence. With friends like that, he can get his own army pretty quickly.”
Puzzle grinned, and I caught the barest hint of approval in his expression. “Especially if he starts hiring mercenaries, and Freeport has plenty of those. And just like that, Zebrica’s internal problems become a matter of concern for Freeport as well. Especially since Batur will have to make some effort to impede his brother’s recruitment, either by hiring mercenaries of his own to balance out Ozgur or at least encouraging a few of the major players to remain neutral.”
“Sounds like it’s gonna be a seller’s market for mercs,” I agreed. “I mean, if some of them can get Batur to pay them just for not signing up with Ozgur ... yeah, any time you can get someone to hire you to literally do nothing, you’re in a pretty good spot.” I frowned as I realized where this conversation might be headed. “I bet Ozgur is gonna be eager to get Freeport’s one and only magus on his side, isn’t he?”
“If it came to war, I am sure the Shimmer-mare would receive an offer from one or both sides.” Puzzle paused, then shook his head. “This one will do what it can to dissuade her from becoming involved in the matter. It does not believe that the Shimmer-mare should become involved in a Zebrican civil war. Such affairs are messy, brutal, and...”
“It’d be bad for her,” I finished. “I’m a lot happier with Sunset hunting down monsters and warlocks. Y’know, clear-cut black-and-white bad guys.” I thought about that right after I said it, and hoped Puzzle took that as situational irony rather than unintentional speciesism. “Throw her into an ugly, morally questionable civil war and she’s a lot more likely to start going down a bad path again.” She’d already played around with some magic I knew for a fact Celestia didn’t want her touching. I really didn’t want to do anything that might encourage her to keep doing that. Trying to arrest her had nearly pushed her into full-on warlockdom, and a civil war was a lot more stressful than being arrested.
In a strange sort of way, I’d gotten pretty fond of old haybacon-mane. Yeah, she has a massive ego, a gigantic sense of entitlement, and a moral compass shaky enough to make me worry, but nopony’s perfect. After all, I’m a morally bankrupt secret agent and a pathological liar.
Or am I lying about that, too? Sometimes even I have a hard time keeping it all straight.
My eyes fixed upon Puzzle. “Looks like we’re on the same page anyway. No zebra civil wars for Sunset.” My eyes narrowed, and I went in for that kill I’d been holding off on. “Of course, I also thought we were on the same page when it came to not throwing her into a deathtrap and letting her nearly get killed, so who knows?”
Puzzle’s ears went flat, and a faintly annoyed flicker shot across his face. “Ah. This one was wondering when you would bring that up.”
“It is my job to keep an eye on Sunset,” I pointed out. “Seriously, that’s pretty much it. I’m pretty sure the only reason I even got assigned to dealing with the Black Codex was because my boss wanted to bring in Sunset. Well, he didn’t say he wanted to, but I know how to read between the lines. Kinda a must-have skill in this profession.” I waited a moment, then suddenly shifted back to the real subject. “You put Sunset in the hospital. That makes my bosses mad, and when something makes them mad they tend do something about it. Something mean.”
This time the annoyed grimace stuck around instead of vanishing after half a second. “This one did not put her in the hospital. The Heartstrings-mare can thank the Old Mind for that. And she was only there for two days, mostly for observation.”
“That’s how it turned out this time, yeah.” I leaned back, my relaxed body language deliberately at odds with the topic. “Just gotta say, part of the understanding we had was that you'd keep her in one piece. Nearly getting her killed is kinda just about the exactly opposite of that.”
One of Puzzle’s ears twitched, another rare tell that I was actually starting to get under his skin. Carapace. Whatever. “This one does not need to have it spelled out. However, this one is hardly responsible for everything that can happen. It has done the best it can under the circumstances, but it could hardly have anticipated that the Old Mind would go to such lengths to lure the two of us into an ambush.” A faint hint of wounded pride slipped into his voice. “It would hope that the Heartstrings-mare could appreciate the lengths that it went to in order to save the Shimmer-mare’s life. At considerable risk to its own, this one will add.”
I decided to shift to playing the reasonable mare. “Hey, I totally get it. Sometimes things just get crazy in the field, and sometimes even the best fixer in Freeport gets outmaneuvered. The important thing is you bounced back and got her out in one piece. But all my superiors see is—”
Puzzle cut me off with a flat, annoyed look. “Hiding behind your superiors again?”
I did my best to look genuinely confused. “Who's hiding? I’m just a low-level operative. I get orders and follow them.”
Puzzle’s eyes narrowed further. “Blaming one's superiors is a common tactic for those that wish to deflect responsibilities for their actions. Especially when one's superiors are treated as a vague, nebulous presence instead of naming specific parties.”
Despite the situation, I found myself grinning. “Are you suggesting that whenever I need to be a hardflank I just say I’m following orders from my bosses? Which would allow me to be a jerk while pretending I'm still a nice sympathetic pony who’s really on your side? That maybe I don’t even have bosses, and I’m directly reporting to Celestia herself? It would make sense for an operative keeping an eye on somepony she has such a keen personal interest in.” I gave him just long enough to mull that over before pulling the rug out from under him. “Of course, that would mean, like, seventy-five percent of everything I’ve ever told you is a lie. And really, I’m a bit young to be a solo operative taking my orders directly from royalty. And while Celestia is interested in Sunset, she also knows how to delegate. Plus having to take all my orders from Canterlot isn’t all that practical when it’s a two week boat ride just to get to Equestria.”
Puzzle weathered the storm, ignoring all the random thoughts I’d tossed out and sticking to the matter at hoof. “Regardless of the details, this one is quite certain that the Heartstrings-mare sometimes attributes actions to her superiors that are entirely her own ideas. And it notes that those actions are always when she feels the need to be less than friendly to this one or the Shimmer-mare.”
“Accusing me of lying.” I leaned back in my chair and propped my legs up on the table, ignoring the glare that earned me from the waiter. “Interesting dating tactic. Though I should probably warn you, it’s not impressing me too much. Hope you’re stocked up on thymoplasm, because at this rate you’re not even getting a goodnight peck on the cheek.”
To his credit, Puzzle recognized a wall of distracting horseapples when he saw it. “This one has some experience in the field of deception. It's almost like this one is some sort of information broker and has seen such tactics used in the past by others.”
I smirked playfully at him. “Is that a nice way of saying my tactics are out of date?”
“Oh, hardly.” He grinned at me. “More like they're a classic that gets reused time and again because they work so well against the uninitiated. Though like most classic maneuvers, they do lose their effectiveness against an old veteran like this one. Lies are only effective so long as the subject does not realize they’re being lied to.”
“Unless I'm double-bluffing you,” I countered. “Make you think I’m lying when I’m really telling the truth. Let’s face it, jerk bosses are a real thing.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Ah, but that type of thinking leads to madness, dear lovely Strumming. If you keep that up, you will think yourself right into a pretzel.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “There is an old saying among this one’s kind that seems relevant: ‘A thousand masks bring forth the fog, but fog blinds all equally.’ More than one Free Mind has become so immersed in impersonation that they forgot their true self. There are times this one wonders if the same will happen to the Heartstrings-mare. And for so little reason, too.”
My eyes narrowed suspiciously. “For so little reason? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Puzzle smiled indulgently, like a parent humoring a child. “You are not so inscrutable as you think, Heartstrings-mare. This one has seen your tactics in action before: surrounding yourself in a web of lies so thick that none could ever hope to untangle it. It can be effective, but in this one’s experience, it often leads to one being captured in their own web. It ends in madness as one struggles to distinguish their own lies from the truth.”
“Interesting theory you’ve got there,” I grunted out.
“By all means, prove this one wrong.” Puzzle leaned back in his seat, waiting patiently. “Tell this one the honest truth about your feelings towards it. Or the Shimmer-mare. Not whichever image you feel is most suited to your current circumstance, the simple truth. This one would submit that you would find it difficult to do so. Not because you do not trust this one, but because your lies have already tangled upon each other so badly that you are badly confused. Is this one your enemy in a struggle for influence over Sunset? A potential asset to be negotiated with? Your lover? A fool you attempt to manipulate with the promise of affections?”
“This is getting boring.” I thought about saying I needed a restroom break, but I didn’t want to give Puzzle the satisfaction of making me walk away. “Seriously, I’m barely keeping my eyes open. I never would’ve figured you for such a boring date.”
“This one notes that its questions have all gone unanswered,” Puzzle declared, a hint of satisfaction in his voice.
“Well it’s a pretty stupid question,” I grumbled under my breath. “Like I’d tell you all of that stuff just because you asked.”
“This one hardly thinks the question valueless.” He sighed and shook his head. “You have gone to such efforts to become an enigma that you are even a mystery to yourself. And in the end it was all for nothing, for this one can still see through your lies when it sets its mind to it.”
“Y’know, you’re starting to piss me off,” I growled. “Seriously, where do you get off thinking you know so much? You don’t know anything about me.”
“This one knows you quite well, Heartstrings-mare,” the changeling answered levelly. “In fact, it may even know you better than you know yourself. Not that such a thing is difficult to manage in your current state.”
I tried to come up with a good answer to that, but for once I was at a loss for words. Much as I hated to admit it, he had managed to get past my defenses. Anyone who knew me well would know I lied all the time just as a lifestyle choice, but Puzzle had figured out a lot more than that.
What did I think of the bug sitting across the table from me, anyway? At the moment I was mostly annoyed with him. And ... maybe a little bit scared. I’d known Puzzle was good—maybe even better than me—but I’d never thought the gap was that large. He wasn’t just better at the spy game than I was, he was a lot better than me. And if he’d gotten into my head enough to figure me out, who knows how much deeper he could go?
And the worst part was, I still didn’t have him anything close to figured out. Sure, I knew a couple little things. I knew he was very well connected to the Council. Enough to make me strongly suspect that at least one of the Council members was a Free Mind he was closely acquainted with. I also knew he had a bit of a beef with Chrysalis, though that was no surprise considering the history between her and the Free Minds. I knew he had a lot of professional pride. But that was all surface stuff. The deep stuff that really mattered was still out of reach.
I was so lost in thought that I almost didn’t notice when the waiter dropped our food off. Almost. The meal was at least a welcome distraction, even if Puzzle had been right about how spicy the sauce was.
Puzzle must have picked up on my mood, because once we’d both tucked away most of our food he reached across the table and gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Take some time to think about the points this one raised, Heartstrings-mare. You might have twisted yourself into a pretzel, but this one believes that you can straighten yourself out. Especially if you let others help you with the task.”
I let out a soft sigh of relief as the conversation got back to safer territory. “I bet you'd make a cute pretzel. Can you transform into one?”
The changeling chuckled and shook his head. “Sorry, but this one isn't quite that flexible. Not to mention the problems of mass shifting—this one would make a very heavy and unappetizing pretzel. This one can always buy you a proper pretzel later. Something for dessert once we finish with dinner, perhaps?”
I grinned eagerly, already feeling better about this. “Oooh. See, this is why I let you take me out on dates. You buy me food.”
“It is part of the dating experience,” Puzzle agreed with a dry smile. “Not to mention it's always a good idea to know what makes your date happy.”
“So does that make me a bad date?” I challenged. “Because while I have a few ideas, I still don’t know everything that makes you tick.”
“This one would say much the same about the Heartstrings-mare.” That remark buoyed up my spirits a bit, though I couldn’t help but think that part of why he didn’t have me completely figured out was because I didn’t have me completely figured out. Puzzle continued on, seeming oblivious to my private thoughts. “In any case, this one would hardly consider it a bad thing for you to be so easily pleased.”
“Easily pleased?” I shot him a smirk that promised retribution. “I think you might want to find a better way to phrase that.”
Puzzle threw up his hooves in mock-surrender. “This one would hardly wish to displease its date. Though perhaps this one should also take back that necklace that caught your eye at the market last week? It would not wish to give the Heartstrings-mare cause to think that it was trying to gain undue influence over her.”
Oh, so that’s how he wanted to play it? “Go ahead. Try and take it. I dare you.”
“This one wouldn't dare,” Puzzle quickly conceded. “That might result in this one losing a limb. And it is quite fond of all of its limbs.”
“Well then, don't imply that I'm easy.”
“This one is sure the Heartstrings-mare is well aware that it did not intend to imply anything of the sort.” A wry smile shot across his lips. “After all, this one has yet to receive so much as a goodnight kiss, despite taking the Heartstrings-mare out on more than three dates.”
I chuckled. “It’s enough to make me wonder why you keep trying.”
“This one enjoys the company and conversation,” he answered simply. “Not to mention dining out is far more enjoyable when it is a shared experience. This one has always found going to a restaurant alone to be somewhat depressing.”
“Oh, so I’m just the equine version of mood lighting?” I snatched up a leftover pit of breadfruit and chucked it at him, bouncing it right off his muzzle. A second later I playfully scowled at him. “Now look at what you made me do. You made me waste food.”
“Yes, this one is terribly inconsiderate like that,” Puzzle deadpanned. “This one should not have forced the Heartstrings-mare to throw food at it. It will have to do better in the future.”
“Darn right you will,” I mock-grumbled.
“This one will try to remind itself that there are hungry children somewhere that would love to have a piece of food like that,” Puzzle continued. “This one has often found that it should think of the children when considering its actions. It does aspire to be a good role model, though it would hope no child would try to emulate its actions.”
“But because of you, they'll go hungry.” I gave him a teasing poke under the table. “You terrible, food-wasting monster.”
Puzzle heaved out a put-upon sigh. “This one tries so hard to not be a monster...”
I smirked and poked him again. “Yeah, I can te—”
And that’s when the evening went completely off the rails in the most insane manner imaginable. Well okay, someone could probably come up with something crazier than a wild-eyed, shabbily dressed one-eared zebra storming into the restaurant and shouting out an insane speech. But you have to admit, that’s pretty weird.
So yeah, crazy zebra guy came barging into the restaurant. “VENGANCE!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs. Then he lifted up a large jar of amber liquid with something black floating in it. After a couple seconds, I realized it was an ear. Presumably the same ear that was missing from his head. Yeah, for some reason he’d saved his own severed ear and carried it around preserved in a jar. Guess he just couldn’t let it go.
“Five years ago!” the crazy one-eared zebra shouted. “Five years ago, today! In this very spot! On that day, and in this place, a group of gryphon barbarians cut off one of my ears simply to satisfy their depraved bloodlust! And yet, there has been no justice for this crime! The criminals have not been punished, nor has the gryphon government offered to pay any reparations to me for my pain and suffering. How long will this injustice be allowed to stand?! How long with the citizens of Freeport suffer under the...”
He continued ranting for quite a while, but I’d stopped paying attention. He’d pretty much already said enough for me to get the general idea. He was pissed off about losing his ear. Everything else was just a bunch of speechifying, and not even very good speechifying. Only so many ways one can say ‘I lost my ear and that makes me angry.’
Puzzle groaned and ran one of his hooves down his face. “Not him again...”
I chuckled at the sheer absurdity of it all. “Let me guess: the five year anniversary of him losing his ear isn’t the first time he’s made a fuss over it?”
“It’s a rather regular occurrence,” Puzzle agreed. “The Sefu-stallion lost an ear to some gryphon thugs in a bar brawl—one that he started, by all reports. Despite that, he hasn't let it go.” His eyes flicked to the severed ear, which Sefu the Crazy Zebra was currently waving above his head. “Literally, in this case. Every few weeks he turns up at the marketplace or a restaurant, or really anywhere he can find an audience, and starts ranting. Usually the condottieri or bouncers deal with him pretty quickly. This one is surprised they are taking so long here.”
“Probably because he brought backup this time.” I waved towards a pair of rather impressively bulky zebras flanking Sefu. Zebras who’d replaced the usual white stripes of their species with red ones. “Am I seeing things, or are those Blood Stripes?”
The changeling’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, their uniform is rather distinctive. Now that is curious. The Blood Stripes do not sell their services cheaply. Sefu could bribe a few officials to reopen his case for less than it would cost to hire them.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “And there’s the question of why the Blood Stripes would even take a contract like this. Acting as bodyguards to a raving lunatic is not the most prestigious of contracts, and it’s likely to offend the condottieri.”
“He is disturbing our meal,” I agreed.
“And those of a lot of others.” He nodded towards a family dining a couple tables over where the parents were trying to tell their child not to worry about the crazy shouting zebra. “If someone from this restaurant isn't running to get the guard right now, this one would be surprised. And this one is not the only significant individual in Freeport society who frequents the Galleon Grill.”
“Let’s hope things don’t get messy.” Sunset was my main focus, but since she’d started doing mercenary work in Freeport I’d done my homework about who she might be working with and/or against. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren't the Blood Stripes pretty heavy hitters? Fond of playing around with alchemy, including some stuff the zebras back in Zebrica don’t like to mess with.”
Puzzle nodded grimly. “They're very serious. The potions they use make them quite a bit stronger than the average mercenary, but there are reasons respectable Zebrican alchemists don’t touch them. Most of the potions come with unpleasant side effects, from long-term health problems to mental instability. Though the Blood Stripes do not view all of those issues as problems. They prefer a reputation of brutal effectiveness to the more honorable image embraced by the Doos and Strikers.”
“Whatever their rep is, they don't come cheap.” I scowled at the crazy one-eared zebra. “Which begs the question of how he can afford them.”
“Now that is the question of the hour,” Puzzle agreed, his attention firmly on the two hired goons. “This one can think of several explanations, but few of them bode well. Unless Sefu stumbled upon a sudden windfall, someone else is paying his bills—someone with enough money and influence to convince the Blood Stripes to play bodyguard to a small-time agitator.”
“Mercs don’t work for free,” I agreed. “Goes against the whole point of being a mercenary. Somebody’s paying them. Think we oughta do some digging and find out who?”
Puzzle grinned, showing me his fangs. “As the Heartstrings-mare just said, mercenaries do not work for free. If the EIS wishes to obtain this one’s services, it would be willing to discuss a reasonable fee.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please. I’m not hiring you, we’re just doing a little bit of joint investigation.”
Puzzle’s smile widened, to the point where I wondered if he was using some changeling trick to make such a huge grin fit on his face. “And why would this one perform an investigation for free?”
I might not have Puzzle completely figured out, but I did know a few things. “First off, because you’re as curious about who’s bankrolling Sefu as I am.”
Puzzle nodded concedingly. “This one will concede that the Heartstrings-mare is correct on that point. This one is terribly curious by nature.”
I counted off the next point on my hooves. “Secondly, because sometimes information brokering involves making an investment. Some rich guy’s paying off Sefu. Most rich guys have enemies, and those enemies might pay a lot of money to know their rival’s stirring up the sort of trouble that could bring the condottieri down on them.”
“The Heartstrings-mare’s logic is sound,” Puzzle agreed.
I grinned eagerly. “So ... it sounds like we’re gonna investigate.”
Puzzle answered my grin in kind. “This one believes we are.”
“Awesome.” I grinned and clapped my hooves. “You always take me out on the best dates.”
Puzzle chuckled and leaned back in his chair. “So the best dates involve investigating a potential zebra conspiracy? Well, at least the Strumming-mare can never accuse this one of being boring.”
Puzzle and I went our separate ways after dessert, each of us heading off to do our own style of investigation. Granted, a big chunk of my ‘investigation’ consisted of asking my co-workers if they knew anything. Going over a bunch of paperwork and engaging in office gossip might not be the stuff of romantic spy fiction, but it was a good way to get information. The EIS had suffered its share of embarrassing goof-ups, finding out after the fact that we’d had all the facts needed to prevent some feather-up but nopony had gotten around to putting all the pieces together. It was entirely possible that one my co-workers was sitting on the answer to my little mystery and just had no idea that it was an important piece of information.
I also had to clear the job with my supervisor. I’ll avoid mentioning whether I was reporting directly to the Big Sun herself or just a mid-level EIS bureaucrat. Either way, the op was approved so long as I didn’t do anything too crazy during it. After all, Equestria did have an interest in figuring out who was trying to stir up trouble between Gryphonia and Zebrica, plus it would help me work my way a bit closer into Puzzle’s confidence.
Unfortunately I wasn’t that lucky. I got a couple interesting little factoids that painted a fascinating picture if you made a couple reasonable assumptions, but nothing decisive. Of course, I still hadn’t compared notes with Puzzle; maybe he’d figured the whole thing out, or maybe we’d got a complete picture when we combined what he knew with what I did.
Since we were technically kinda-sorta business partners in this venture, I figured there wouldn’t be any problem with me showing up at Puzzle’s office during business hours. It wasn’t the first time I’d been there, but Puzzle got a bit grumpy if I showed up for purely personal reasons. He was the type to keep a wall between his business life and his personal life. Which seemed a little oddly naive to me; it’s not like Chrysalis, warlocks, or any of the other bad guys would keep things strictly professional if they ever went after him.
Puzzle’s office looked more like what you’d expect from a high-powered attorney than a mercenary information broker. Probably part of that whole clean professional image Puzzle liked to keep up. It was a pretty common image for the more respectable mercs who dealt with the rich and powerful—try to make their clients think they weren’t so different after all, and put them at ease. I’m admittedly not a rich idiot, but I’d hope that if I was I wouldn’t be stupid enough to think that just because a mercenary could quote Platrot or Aristrotle and knew what type of wine went well with a fancy dinner changed the fact that said merc was still ... well, a merc. As in, someone who would gladly gut me if offered enough money.
After a couple words with Puzzle’s very polite and very professional secretary, who very politely and professionally had a loaded crossbow with a poison-tipped bolt hidden beneath her desk, I got to go in and talk to the big bug himself. Puzzle had several large books on his desk, and was busily looking them over as I trotted in and flopped into one of the nearby seats. “Hey. Your secretary let me in. She seems nice.”
Puzzle looked up from his books and shot me a quick smile. “Merry Penny does a good job. That is why this one retains her services.”
I was in a good mood, so I reached over and poked him in the side. “Also helps that she’s a bit old, and not cute enough that I need to worry about you.”
Puzzle responded with a single raised eyebrow. “Oh? Worried about having some competition?”
“Nah, just keeping you honest.” Though I wasn’t really sure how that kind of thing worked in relationships between a changeling and a pony anyway. After all, Puzzle still needed to feed, and there was no way in Tartarus I was letting him feed on me. And while changeling feeding didn’t have to involve anything sexual, it certainly could.
Puzzle must have figured out what I was thinking, because he grinned and leaned back in his large, high-backed chair. “Now what type of love-sucking bug do you think this one is?”
I smirked back at him. “The type who's too sneaky for his own good?”
Puzzle let out a fake gasp, one hoof flying to his chest and resting over his heart. “Heartstrings-mare! You wound this one!”
I couldn’t help snickering at his antics. “You know it's true.”
The changeling answered with a dry smile. “This one didn't say it was much of a wound.”
This time I was the one letting out a fake gasp, crossing my forelegs over my chest. “Oh, so my feelings don't matter to you? How insensitive...”
Puzzle rolled his eyes, though the faint grin on his face gave away the game. “Of course they do. Must this one purchase the Heartstrings-mare an elaborate bouquet of flowers to show its affection, or perhaps hire a troupe of singers to serenade her with songs professing its undying love and devotion? This one would like to think it has shown its consideration many times. How could the Heartstrings-mare ever suggest this one does not care about you?”
I deadpanned, “Because I'm a very cynical, untrusting pony?”
“That would explain it,” Puzzle agreed, matching my emotionless tone. “Still, this one would like to think it can make you happy.”
“Well, you're doing okay so far.” Buying me food and helping me do the whole spy thing was a pretty good start. “So how'd your end of the investigation go?”
Puzzle looked down at the thick ledgers covering his desk and scowled. “This one’s investigation has made some progress, but not nearly as much as it would have liked. This one was able to gain access to the World’s Port Bank and see their records, but funny enough, the Blood Stripes aren’t keen on letting just anyone know who is paying them to do illicit jobs.” He waved a hoof over the books. “Almost all of their incoming payments are being filtered through dummy corporations and shell companies rather than coming directly from the client, which makes finding out who is paying them for any specific job difficult.”
“Gee, it's almost like a lot of their clients don't want it known that they do business with a bunch of rough, nasty mercs.” Not that I’d been expecting the bank records to include an invoice for all their jobs, but I’d been hoping for something out of it. “I'm guessing sorting through their records to untangle all the different shell companies involved would take a long time?”
Puzzle grimly nodded along. “Weeks, if not months. This one would recommend hiring a specialist in forensic accounting to see to it, but even once that was done, knowing their client list would only be the first step. We still wouldn’t know what the clients were paying them for, so we couldn’t prove who hired them to work with Sefu.”
“Joy.” I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane. “I don't suppose you found anything that'd give us results a bit faster?”
“Not where this case is concerned,” he confirmed. “Though the financial records might be of use in several other matters. However, this one suspects that waiting months for results is not something the Heartstrings-mare wishes to do. Nor does this one, in truth. Sefu does not seem to be the most rational of actors. It would prefer to conclude its investigation before anything unfortunate happens.”
“He does seem to be working pretty hard to stir something up,” I agreed. “Odds are he’s gonna succeed sooner or later; if nothing else works, he can start having his hired thugs beat up some random gryphons.” That would definitely stir up tension, even if it also brought the condottieri down on him. But a crazy guy who carried his own severed ear around in a jar probably wouldn’t be thinking that far ahead. “I didn’t come up with any solid leads either. Though I did come up with something like a working theory of who might be responsible. No ironclad evidence, but it could help narrow down the suspect list.”
Puzzle nodded along. “Go on, then.”
I took a moment to make sure I had everything straight before diving in. “Well, we've got a group of exclusively zebra mercenaries helping out a zebra agitator at the same time there’s a budding political crisis in Zebrica. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but the word ‘zebra’ came up an awful lot of times in that sentence.”
“It's a pattern at least,” Puzzle agreed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “This one supposes that it could all be unrelated. Sefu’s cause makes it unlikely that any mixed mercenary group would support him, and this is hardly the first time Zebrica has undergone a succession crisis. There is no proof that two events are linked.” He paused, glancing down at the ledgers. “However, while this one cannot say for sure until the Blood Stripes’ records have been fully processed, it will note that the majority of companies and individuals giving money to the mercenary company appear to have ties to the Zebrican Empire. Small surprise, given the nature of the organization.”
“Figures that a zebra merc group does a lot of business with their homeland.” Even if they were a bunch of mean, nasty guys, they still had stripes. “So, let's do some investigation 101. First question you always ask in an investigation is who benefits from the crime, right?” Puzzle nodded in confirmation. “So then, who in the Zebrican Empire stands to gain from having some loony stirring up tensions between Zebrica and Gryphonia? If we assume that this is linked to the succession problems in Zebrica, one name jumps out: a certain Zebrican prince who needs to boost his popularity with the nobility, and whose main claim to fame is leading his army in a bunch of border skirmishes with the gryphons.”
“A victorious general would certainly see his prestige and popularity increase substantially,” Puzzle agreed. “Not to mention that if the sultan dies before the war ends, many of the nobles would find a military veteran much more appealing as the new monarch.” He idly tapped a hoof on his desk. “Though nothing is certain in war, and a defeat would destroy his chances. And even in victory, such an individual would risk weakening his army right before a potential civil war.”
“True. But then, taking chances is part of the political game.” I shrugged and leaned back in my chair. “Besides, he doesn’t even really need a full-scale war. A few incidents and some increased tensions would be enough to make people think that maybe the general’s a better pick than the guy who’s never led an army in his life.”
“The theory is reasonable,” Puzzle agreed. “Though of course it’s only a theory. There are other potential explanations.”
“Yeah, mine’s just the most straightforward one.” I smirked at him. “I know the usual rule is that the simplest explanation is usually the right one, but I don’t think that applies to politics and espionage. It could be one of the other zebra royals setting this up to try to make it look like Batur's the one stirring up trouble. Paint him as a warmonger, and he’ll have a hard time making his claim to the throne look like anything more than ‘I want it and I have an army.’ Could be Ozgur trying to knock out his main rival, or one of the smaller players like Princess Zanza hoping that she can sweep up Batur’s support if he’s out of the running.”
“Or it might not be related to Zebrican politics at all,” Puzzle continued. “It could be that the gryphons are trying to cause an incident they can blame on Zebrica to gain the moral high ground. Or someone local who just wants to stir up trouble for their own reasons. This one can imagine many convoluted schemes, or something as simple as anti-gryphon or zebra prejudice.”
“Yeah, and probably some other things we haven’t thought of.” I grimaced. “Though for what it's worth, my gut says that it’s tied to the succession.”
“A pity gut feelings are not enough to constitute proof,” Puzzle remarked dryly.
“Yeah. We need solid evidence, and we need to find it reasonably fast.” I decided to float out a mildly insane plan. “I can only think of one place to go that would have all the answers we need: the Blood Stripes themselves.”
Puzzle frowned, but nodded after a couple seconds. “Hmm, agreed. This one would be very surprised if none of them knew something of their client’s true identity. At the very least, they could point us to whatever agent is facilitating payment and serving as a go-between for them and their client.”
“Which is a much more solid link than trying to decode their accounts.” And more importantly, the kind of link we could do something about right now. “So seems to me like our options are to either wait months for your specialist or pay the Stripes a visit sometime soon.”
“The Blood Stripes would hardly just tell us what we want to know. We would have to get at their records without their approval.” Puzzle frowned and murmured halfheartedly, “It would be much safer to leave it to this one’s specialist.”
“Assuming we can afford months of inaction while we slowly run down the money trail.” I grinned and leaned forward, resting my hooves on the desk. “It’s definitely worth handing the books over to your accountant—pursue all avenues of investigation—but I think we need to take a chance on this one. It might not be the safest option, but I don’t think you became the most influential information broker in Freeport by playing it safe all the time.”
“Nor did this one do so by taking needless risks.” Puzzle left me hanging for just long enough to make me a little nervous, then continued. “However, in this it believes that the risk is not needless, and the rewards justify it.”
“Cool.” I reached across the table and playfully bapped his nose. “You can't accuse me of being a boring date.”
Puzzle grinned at me. “No, this one can't. However, while this one is willing to undertake a measure of risk, it only seems prudent to take measures to reduce that risk as much as possible. To start with, we need insurance.”
“What sort of insurance?”
“The type that pulls your rear out of trouble when you go knocking at the door of a bunch of dangerous mercenaries,” Puzzle answered dryly. “This one has already found itself in far too many dangerous situations without any backup. It would not care to repeat the experience at any point in the near future. Or distant future. In fact, it would be quite happy to die of old age without ever having such an experience again.”
“Gotcha.” Hard to argue with his reasoning. “So who do you have in mind for our backup?”
“For one, we could hire on the Shimmer-mare to help us.” He sighed when I immediately scowled at him for mentioning Sunset. “This one is well aware that it is not a risk-free proposition, but she is going to need experience. One does not become a battle magus without going into battle. Best it be while we're both present giving her ... adult supervision. Besides, the Heartstrings-mare seemed willing enough to utilize her services in the past.”
“Yeah, I did.” Which did make it a bit hard for me to get all high and mighty about hiring her again. Sure, dealing with the Black Codex had been a bit more serious than this case, but it still made me look a bit hypocritical. I tried a slightly different approach. “I probably ought to point out that subtle, sneaky investigation really isn't her thing.”
“This one agrees.” A faint grin flickered across his face. “She does have her sneaky moments, but thus far they have only been moments. However, it still thinks she could provide backup while we perform the actual mission. She won't be going in unless there's trouble.”
“Ahhh.” I nodded along. “So less her sneaking around with us, and more that if things go bad she comes charging in setting everything on fire like a massive blunt object? Yeah, that definitely sounds like something she could do.”
Puzzle smirked. “Don't tell the Shimmer-mare that to her face, of course.”
“Perish the thought.” I liked the mare, but her pride was only slightly less sensitive than a ... well, than something that’s really sensitive. Not many things are sensitive as the pride of an emotionally unstable teenager with abandonment issues and a real wicked temper.
“And of course, we should hire a few other mercenaries known for their reliability to stay with her,” Puzzle continued. “She is a magus, but still only a single mare. She needs somepony to watch her back.”
“Not gonna argue with you there.” Last I’d heard, there wasn’t a spell to put eyes in the back of your own head. “Have anyone in mind? I’m gonna guess the Doos.”
“The Shimmer-mare does have a good working relationship with them on account of her apprentice,” Puzzle confirmed. “Their services do not come cheaply, even to friends, but a single night providing emergency backup should not be too expensive.”
I pointedly looked around his richly decorated office. “I'm sure you can afford them.”
Puzzle responded with something that was halfway between a shrug and a nod. “So this one can. And this one thinks paying a premium is quite reasonable when our lives could very well depend on the quality and loyalty of our mercenaries. It values its own life quite highly.”
“Mine too, I’d hope.”
“But of course,” Puzzle agreed with a charming smile. “Though naturally this one would prefer to avoid the kind of trouble that would require their help in the first place.”
“That's the plan.” Of course, it’s an old saying that no plan survives contact with the enemy. But then, that was why Puzzle was arranging our backup in the first place.
“And most importantly, we can figure out what's really going on here.” Puzzle shut his ledgers and set them to the side. “So then, let us begin planning our break-in...”
Keeping an Ear to the Ground
The Blood Stripes had two different bases of operations: their business office in Freeport proper, and their barracks on one of the outlying islands. It was a pretty common arrangement for the major mercenary groups. They needed an office in the city itself to look prestigious and attract potential clients, while the outer island base gave them plenty of room for a barracks, training grounds, armory, and all the other bells and whistles any group needs to keep a private army in working order. Not to mention a lot more privacy than you could get in the city.
Which was why Puzzle and I were going after their base in Freeport first. We certainly could get onto the Stripes’ private island if we needed to, but it would’ve been a lot more trouble than just walking up to the front door of their business office. Plus, the Stripes couldn’t go nearly so crazy on security in the city as they could on their own territory.
Of course, that might mean the information we were looking for wasn’t here. I’d certainly want to hide all my dark secrets in the most secure location possible. However, given that we were trying to get a look at their business records, I was willing to bet that they’d be in the business office. Even the sensitive, secret records. Keeping all their financial records somewhere else would’ve been a huge inconvenience, and even in the EIS laziness sometimes overcomes institutional paranoia.
Someone in the Blood Stripes clearly had too much money and a flair for the dramatic, because their Freeport headquarters was set up to look like a miniaturized Zebrican castle. Unfortunately for the mercs, my inner architecture critic feels that castles are the sort of building that only really looks good when built on a monumental scale—even the short, squat, thick, and rounded castles that the zebras liked. When you miniaturize a castle down to the size of a normal building, you just end up with something sad and a bit ridiculous. Like a little kid trying to wear her mother’s horseshoes, except less cute.
Still, it must have impressed at least some of their visitors considering the Blood Stripes were doing pretty well for themselves. And certainly nobody would mistake it for anything other than the headquarters of a mercenary group. It would stand up to siege a lot better than most of Freeport’s other buildings, especially since the four little mini-towers on the corners of the buildings did have actual guards on them, even this late at night.
Fortunately, when it came to dealing with the guards we had two of the most powerful forces in the world on our side: boredom and laziness. Guard duty, especially late night guard duty, isn’t something anyone can do for hours while staying sharp.
I glanced over at Puzzle, who like me was dressed up in the standard issue sneaky cloaks that anyone who’s up to something shady likes to wear. To be fair, Freeport’s the kind of city where announcing you’re up to something shady makes people look the other way so they won’t get dragged into trouble whatever trouble you’re involved in. Plus, waterproof cloaks are actually practical clothing on an island where an ocean storm could come in without much warning.
And on top of that, cloaks just look good, especially on me. Or Puzzle. I grinned at the bug. “So, how do you think we should get in? My vote’s for coming in from the top. If zebras are anything like earth ponies and unicorns, they don’t think about looking up as much as they should.” Especially not when it was late and they were all tired.
“That is true,” Puzzle agreed. “Though this one will note that the towers provide the guards with an overlapping field of view. We can come from straight above at one guard, but the other three would be able to see us when we make our move.”
“So that’s out. I guess we need to come up with a better plan.” Our only option would be to take out all four guards at once. Possible with a couple of the Doos backing us up, but the timing would be tricky. “What about having Sunset teleport us in?”
Puzzle grimaced and shook his head. “Teleporting into an unknown building that almost certainly has some form of magical defense against intruders? It could end very badly.”
“You really think they’d have anti-teleportation defenses?” I frowned skeptically. “They’re just mercs. Alchemy wouldn’t cut it, they’d need someone who’s pretty good with magic to lock the building down.”
“It is no secret that the Shimmer-mare is active in Freeport, and that she can teleport,” Puzzle countered. “It would be unwise to assume that nobody has taken measures against her.”
I didn’t like that, but I couldn’t really argue with it either. Assuming your enemies haven’t come up with any way to counter a well-known trick is a good way to get in trouble. After all, the embassy had upgraded our own defenses to make sure Sunset couldn’t sneak in to cause trouble. Some of the security guys were worried she just might have a bit of a grudge against us for imprisoning her. Not to mention that if we ever needed to lock her up again, it was only prudent to make sure we could actually hold her. She had escaped from us before, after all.
“Guess we break in the old-fashioned way, then.” I scanned the building once more. “If we come at it directly on one of the corners, only one tower would have a good angle to see us. There’s an alleyway near the northwest tower that should give us cover to close in on them. We’ll still have to cross through open ground, but we’d only be out in the open for a bit and only one guard would be able to see us. Just gotta wait for him to get bored or distracted, and...”
“It should work.” Puzzle agreed. “Not without its risks, but much safer than the alternatives.”
So that was what we did. I’d like to tell some fascinating story about how we had to duck and dodge through the shadows, barely avoiding getting caught a dozen times, but it really wasn’t all that exciting. Most of the time, being good at sneaking around was more about patience than having some sort of amazing ninja skills. Puzzle and I wound up waiting in that alleyway for half an hour, until the one guard who could’ve seen our approach took a bathroom break. He probably should’ve called in a backup to take his place, but boredom and laziness were on our side.
Once we were right flush against the tower wall, there was no way the guard would’ve been able to see us unless he leaned over the edge and looked straight down—something he probably wouldn’t do unless we gave him a reason to. And Puzzle and I were very good at being quiet when we set our minds to it.
I carefully flew up to the second story window in the hope that it wouldn’t be as secure as the ground floor ones. Yeah, the zebras were probably smart enough to remember that a fair number of Freeport’s inhabitants could fly, but it never hurt to check. Just like you shouldn’t assume your enemies hadn’t thought up a counter for your clever tricks, you also shouldn’t assume that they hadn’t made a boneheaded mistake somewhere along the line. Reminded me of one of the stories I heard back in spy school, where my mentor had spent two hours getting together everything he needed to pick a complicated lock only to find out that the bad guys had forgotten to lock it.
Fortunately, this window was locked. A quick check didn’t reveal any traps, alarms, or other nasty surprises, which I found immensely worrying. My paranoia said that there was no way that the only security on the window was a cheap lock, so that meant that they had something I couldn’t see.
I gave the window a few careful taps, trying to keep them light enough to avoid setting anything off. After all, if whatever defenses the window had were too sensitive, they would go off every time there was a stiff ocean breeze.
A couple seconds later, something weird and slightly disturbing happened. The stonework around the window started rippling. I blinked and fluttered back as far away as I could without leaving cover, trying to figure out just what the hay was going on.
Puzzle flitted up next to me and put a gently restraining hoof on my back. “Stone spirit,” he explained. “They must have had a shaman bind one to the building for security.” He shot me a quick confident grin. “Fortunately, this one knows a few things about zebra magic. Stone spirits are only effective within stone. Thus...” He dipped into his saddlebags and pulled out a small gem. “This will prevent the window from vibrating within its frame while we enter. If there is nothing for the spirit to detect, no alarms go off. This one would also recommend we fly rather than walk upon the floors. So long as we do not touch the stone itself, we should be safe. The spirit likely has orders to raise the alarm if it detects anyone unauthorized.”
“Unless they’ve got an air spirit working there too,” I pointed out.
“That is possible,” Puzzle conceded. “Though unlikely. Air spirits are notoriously hard to bind to a single location, and it is equally difficult to make multiple spirits of conflicting types work together with one another. There are certainly shamans would could manage the task, but most of those are in the Zebrican homeland. Much like unicorns who share the Shimmer-mare’s talents.”
“And yet, good old haybacon-head is here in Freeport, mercing herself out,” I pointed out. “You know what they say about making assumptions.”
“This one is well aware of the saying, yes.” Puzzle sighed, shaking his head. “This one shall keep an eye open for any signs of further security spirits. If any present themselves, we will take the needed measures to escape them.”
“I suppose that’s all we can do.” After all, if we assumed their magical defenses were impenetrable, there was no point in even trying to sneak into the building in the first place. Besides, a shaman skilled on Sunset’s level would probably be ridiculously expensive, and the Blood Stripes were running a merc group that needed to turn a profit. No point in spending so much on magical security for one building that you wound up not actually having any money left to pay all your soldiers.
Puzzle’s gem worked like a charm, and we got in and started exploring. Flying around indoors was a bit awkward, especially since the hallways weren’t exactly built to accommodate fliers, but we managed.
The good news was that there didn’t seem to be any guards patrolling the inside. I suppose that made sense, considering they already had a spirit to watch things. The guards on the outside were probably there as much for show as actual security. From what Puzzle and I had dug up, there were a couple squads of Blood Stripes within the building, but most of them would be fast asleep in the basement barracks. Ruthless amoral mercenaries still need their eight hours of shut-eye every night.
We didn’t have too much trouble finding our way to the big boss’ office. Much like Puzzle’s office, it was big and built to impress. Granted, the fact that I couldn’t turn on any of the lights probably hurt the ambiance. It didn’t look anywhere near as cool when the only stuff I could see was lit up by a few beams of moonlight drifting in through the windows.
I headed for a couple of filing cabinets in the back, but Puzzle didn’t follow me. Instead he flew up to a large display case filled with potion bottles. “Fascinating,” he murmured to himself. “This one did not know they had so many recipes. Potions that harden one’s skin or thicken one’s muscles are both difficult to make, and require many exotic ingredients. Healing potions as well, and ... they also have an ointment that forces any shapeshifter to revert to its natural state. This one is sure it need not explain why it would be interested in such a thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, okay, but how about we save the sightseeing for sometime when we’re not in the middle of a break-in?”
Puzzle let out an annoyed huff. “It will only take this one a few extra moments to get into their potion cabinet, and it could offer substantial benefit to this one’s other endeavours. Need this one remind the Heartstrings-mare that it is here to make a profit? Stealing a few potion recipes would be extremely profitable. Not to mention that this one might be willing to share some of the fruits of its endeavors with the Heartstrings-mare in any future joint ventures.”
I sighed and conceded the matter. Keeping up the argument would probably take longer than just letting him do what he wanted, and I was pretty sure my bosses would be very interested in that anti-changeling ointment. Though if Puzzle was getting his hooves on it, he’d probably already be working on some way to counteract it. But that was part of the spy game: figuring out new tricks, and trying to find ways to counteract the other side’s tricks.
I left Puzzle to his distraction while I got to work digging through all the files. It only took me a couple of minutes to realize we were probably going to have to just steal everything and sort through it later. It would take us hours to go through all paperwork the Stripes had on their clients, especially working in the dark.
I was in the middle of packing everything up for transport when something on the desk caught my eye. My first impression was that it looked like some sort of crossbow, except that it didn’t have the actual bow part of it. Instead of a groove to fit the bolt, there was just a smooth unbroken pipe, at the back of which was an odd mechanism involving a hole in the pipe and a long piece of string. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, though my instincts said it was probably some kind of weapon. After all, it had a trigger and stock just like a crossbow.
I shot a look Puzzle’s way, confirming that he was just about done raiding the potion cabinet. “Hey, bug-boy. Any idea what this thing is?”
Puzzle finished strapping his saddlebag shut, then flew over to have a look. “Ah, one of these.” He very gently picked it up, taking care to avoid pointing it anywhere close to me. “It's been a good time since this one has seen a Zebrican arquebus.” He hefted the weapon, clearly testing it out. “Not since this one involved itself in a bit of Zebrican court intrigue a decade ago.”
I gave the weapon a second look-over. “Oh, so that's what one looks like. It's some weird sort of alchemical weapon the zebra use, right?”
Puzzle nodded. “They're relatively new. Some zebra invented a black powder that's extremely explosive, but relatively stable as long as you don't apply too much heat or friction to it. Somewhat akin to the fire gems that the Shimmer-mare produces, except alchemical instead of magical.”
“Right, and they use an explosion to propel a bullet down the tube,” I finished for him. I wasn’t an expert, but a spy was expected to know something about foreign nations and their weapons of choice. “Just like a sling or a crossbow, except with a whole lot of complicated alchemy instead of just using simple physics.”
“Exactly.” He pointed to the mechanism near the back end of the weapon. “What you do is use the rod attached to the underside of the weapon to put a measured amount of powder down the barrel, and then a bullet. Then you put some more powder on the pan here. Once the string is lit, you point the arquebus at your target and pull the trigger, The burning end of the string hits the pan, lights the powder, and as long as everything goes right, the explosion of the powder propels the bullet out the barrel.”
I frowned skeptically at the weapon. “Sounds like it has an awful lot of things that can go wrong with it. Think I'll stick with my throwing darts.”
“That is the problem with them,” Puzzle agreed. “For one, if there are any imperfections in the manufacturing process, the barrel can burst from the force of the explosion. Then there's the problem if a spark from the string hits the pan when it's not supposed to, or the string goes out when you're trying to shoot. They’re notoriously unreliable in rainy weather. And there's the problem that these things aren't as good at penetrating plate armor as a crossbow, and are significantly less accurate at range than bows.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Why do zebras even bother with them, then? Is it just that they like using an alchemical weapon for the sake of using an alchemical weapon?”
Puzzle shrugged. “This one suspects much of it is the same reason crossbows are so popular. Despite their flaws, they are quite effective when used properly and relatively easy to use. This one also feels that it should mention that these things are loud—it nearly jumped out of its carapace the first time it heard an arquebus fire.” He frowned down at the weapon, then set it back on the desk. “There also some practical advantages when it comes to equipping an army with them. Arrows are a lot heavier and bulkier than powder and bullets, and are more expensive to produce since they require good wood and a skilled fletcher. Powder is also much easier to produce in bulk; like many alchemical processes, many of the steps are quite simple once you know what to do. Still dangerous, but manageably so with proper supervision and safety protocols. If anyone ever figures out how to make these things more reliable and less prone to wounding or killing their user...”
“They'd still have less range and penetration than a crossbow.” I finished for him. “Anyway, that’s enough sightseeing, let's—”
I cut myself off as the door to the office creaked on its hinges. A zebra mare slowly poked her head through the door. “Captain, is that you? I was just finishing up some late paperwork and needed to check the records for—” She froze, staring wide-eyed at the two of us. “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”
I tried to come up with a cover story that would explain why we were here; pity we hadn’t heard her coming a bit sooner, or Puzzle could’ve shifted into one of the Blood Stripes—assuming a changeling disguise would fool the stone spirit. Though I tried, I couldn’t come up with any legitimate reason why a pegasus and a changeling would be poking around a zebra mercenary base in the middle of the night. Apparently Puzzle couldn’t either, because instead of trying to talk his way out, he lunged for the zebra, his fangs bared.
She barely managed to let out a soft yelp before Puzzle hit her, jamming one hoof over her mouth to silence her. As she fell to the ground he took care to stay on top of her, not letting any part of his body touch the stone floor. His fangs sank into the defenseless zebra’s neck, applying his changeling venom to disable her before she could tell anyone we were here.
Or at least, that was the idea. However, it’s hard to chomp down on anyone without shedding blood, and as soon as a single drop of her blood hit the floor, an unearthly wail began echoing down the hallways. The windows immediately sealed themselves shut, becoming an unbroken stone wall. For a moment there was total darkness, until an eerie red glow replaced the lost moonlight.
Puzzle hopped off the knocked out zebra, growling several colorful metaphors under his breath. He stomped his way over to me, no longer bothering to avoid touching the floor. “Should’ve realized the spirit would have orders to raise an alarm if it detected zebra blood. Move. Grab what we need and get out. We have maybe a couple minutes before we're up to our eyes in very angry mercenaries.”
“Yeah, running sounds like a very good idea.” I grabbed the saddlebags that I’d thankfully already stuffed full of financial records and headed for the exit, Puzzle hot on my heels. The windows here might be sealed, but maybe we would have better luck in another room?
We didn’t. It was shaping up to be that kind of day. “Not good. Very not good. I just hope our backup heard all the alarms going off.”
“Strumming!” Puzzle called out, waving to me from around the corner and showing me one of Sunset’s fire gems. “This one would strongly advise that you join it in cover.”
“Ooooh boy.” I didn’t waste any time following his advice, though a part of me couldn’t help but notice that he was calling me ‘Strumming’ instead of ‘Heartstrings-mare.’ That probably meant something in changeling-ese. I really ought to learn more about changeling courtship customs. Assuming we both survived this.
Puzzle tossed them around the corner, then quickly ducked back into cover with me. A second later there was a loud thud, and then a sudden wave of heat and pressure as the gem went off. I was a bit surprised to notice that Puzzle had extended one of his wings to cover me after the fire gem went off.
After a couple seconds I poked my head around the corner to check the damage. For a moment I saw a clear exit, but then before my eyes the stone wall began rippling and reshaping itself until it had completely reformed. Puzzle growled under his breath. “This one really hates it when others are as prepared as it for trouble.”
“That stone spirit is starting to annoy me too,” I agreed. “There any way we can get rid of it?”
“Not within a reasonable timeframe,” Puzzle shot an annoyed look at the wall. “Spirits are very limited in scope and not especially bright, but they are quite resilient. Especially when working within their area of expertise. This one doubts we could pin down and neutralize the spirit before the mercenaries find us.”
“Well that’s just fan-feathering-tastic,” I grumbled. “I guess that means we’re stuck running for the front door. Which is probably the first place the mercs will secure.”
“This one would welcome any alternate suggestions,” Puzzle snapped.
Since I was running short on brilliant escape plans, I couldn’t do much more than grumble and head for the only exit. The only other plan I could see was to try going for the roof, and even if those exits weren’t part of the lockdown, that would mean running past the very alert tower guards. Most of the mercs would’ve been sound asleep when the alarm went off, and it would take them a while to organize a response and secure the door. If Puzzle and I hurried, we had a chance of getting out before they blocked that exit.
We’d nearly made it to the exit when Puzzle suddenly grabbed me by the leg and pulled me back against the wall, placing a hoof on my lips to signal the need for quiet. Once I nodded my understanding, he leaned forward and whispered into my ear. “This one thinks they beat us to the door.” I shot him a confused frown, and he explained, “It can smell the burning cord from their arquebuses. It is subtle, but rather distinctive.”
I took a couple sniffs and caught the vague scent of something burning. I guess I’d just assumed it was the lingering smell from his fire gem. “Lemme check if they’re there.” I pulled off the cloak I’d been wearing and stuck it out around the corner.
The sound that followed was a sharp crack that reminded me what it sounded like when someone snapped a large tree branch, except about ten times louder. That burning smell got a lot sharper, and a faint cloud of white smoke drifted up the hallway.
I felt the robe jerk sharply in my hooves, and when I pulled it back, it had gained a distinctly unhealthy-looking hole where my head would’ve been if I’d still been wearing it. “Yup, they're there. And you weren't kidding about how loud those things are.”
“When is this one ever wrong about something like that?” Puzzle asked primly. “And as bad as they sound, they're even worse if they hit you. They might not penetrate armor as well as bows, but the effects on unprotected flesh are ... unpleasant.”
“I'll take your word for that.” I’m generally not a fan of getting injured in gruesome and painful ways. “So, if you’ve got any tricks that would help us get past these guys, now would be a great time to pull them out.”
Puzzle pulled out a mirror and stuck it around the corner, managing to make a quick scan of the mercenaries’ position before another shot wrecked his equipment. He briefly scowled at the broken mirror, then tossed it aside. “There seem to be a dozen of them—half with arquebuses, the other half armed for melee. This one has a few smoke potions and thunderflash stones to throw out there. We could use them and run for the doors.”
“They’d still have a chance to shoot at us,” I pointed out. “Even if they’d have a hard time aiming with all the smoke and thunderflash, they might get lucky. Plus there’s still the melee brutes. Rushing them sounds like it could go very badly. How about we just fort up and wait for our backup?”
“That is an idea.” Puzzle conceded. “For the moment, they seem content to block our exit rather than go on the offensive. Likely they’re worried about us trying to draw them out of position, then double back and run for the exit. It seems their commander wants to play it safe and make absolutely sure we don’t escape. That gives us a bit more time to work with. Not a plan this one prefers, but...”
“I like it better than the ‘hope they have bad aim’ plan,” I agreed.
Puzzle nodded along. “Those weapons aren't great at point-blank range or on the move. Better to make them chase us than for us to attack them in a position of their choosing. We can pick somewhere that won’t give them any good firing lanes.”
“Yeah, then all we’ll have to do is beat up a bunch of mercenaries who are hopped up on crazy strength-enhancing potions.” I sighed and shook my head. “Let's hope our backup gets here soo—”
Because the universe has a terribly perverse sense of humor, Sunset Shimmer chose exactly that moment to teleport in front of us. Right out in the open.
Her horn was already glowing again when I shouted out a warning that was lost in the crackling roar as the zebras opened fire on her. A wave of white smoke obscured everything, including Sunset herself.
“Sunset!” My heart sank and I took a half-step towards her, only to be stopped by Puzzle’s restraining hoof. All I could think was that I’d gotten Celestia’s ex-student killed. Sure, Sunset was an arrogant, stubborn, and morally dubious mare, but I still had a soft spot for her. And those bastard zebras might have just killed her!
Oh, and my career was probably deader than disco. After all, my assignment had been to keep Sunset from getting herself killed, or jumping off the deep end and becoming a warlock.
Thankfully, as the smoke finally cleared I saw Sunset alive and well, safely hidden behind a half-dome of ice. Judging by the misshapen metal balls caught within the wall, she’d gotten it up just in time. Sunset scowled at the damage to her dome. “Okay, those are new.”
“Stop them before they can reload!” Puzzle shouted at her.
Sunset blinked, then nodded. “Right!” She turned to the zebras, frowning and quickly sizing them all up. Then her horn started glowing and she yanked the matchcords out of the weapons. “Hope that works. What are those things, anyway?”
“Arquebuses,” I quickly explained. “They use an explosive alchemical powder to—”
“Wait,” Sunset interrupted. “You mean all those guys are carrying explosives that can be set off by these?” She shook the still-burning cords she’d just removed from all the arquebuses.
“That is correct.” Puzzle seemed to have figured out what Sunset had in mind, because a positively evil grin worked its way onto his face. “The Shimmer-mare might wish to know that they store their extra powder in the gourds on their belts.”
“Gotcha.” She stepped out from behind her ice wall, grinning like a filly on Hearth’s Warming Day. “Hi! I'm Sunset Shimmer, pyromancer.” She conjured up a trio of pretty impressive fireballs, which hovered over her head. “My friends tell me that those gourds on your belts are full of some sort of powder that explodes when exposed to fire.” Her fireballs flared a bit larger, just to make sure her point got across. “So ... how about you guys walk away before this gets ugly? Well, ugly for you. My biggest problem would be needing a shower.”
I knew Sunset well enough to be pretty sure she was bluffing about being willing to blow them all up, but I doubted the Blood Stripes would call her on that. After all, they wouldn’t hesitate if the situation were reversed. Sure enough, a lot of them were shuffling nervously and eyeing their gourds, no doubt thinking about just how messy and painful their deaths would be.
Puzzle saw his opening and moved in for the kill. “This one is sure you all know exactly how dangerous the black powder is, no? No doubt they told you about that when they gave you those weapons. The slightest spark and ... well, boom.”
The Blood Stripes’ leader, a sergeant judging by his rank insignia, let out a frustrated growl and waved his men back. Guess he knew better than to start a fight he couldn’t win. Once they were far enough away, Puzzle and I stepped out from behind our cover and started walking for the door. The sergeant shot us a glare brimming with impotent fury. “You might escape today, but that does not change that you have intruded on our territory and shed the blood of our soldiers. That is not something we will forget. Or forgive.”
“Somehow, we will survive,” Puzzle remarked dryly.
I scoffed. “Tough talk like that always comes when you don't have anything else left to use.” Considering the financial records I had sitting in my bags, the Blood Stripes were probably going to have much bigger problems than a feud with the three of us. If they knew exactly how much information I’d stolen from them, they’d probably reconsider whether it was worth the risk of going up against Sunset to stop us from getting away.
Thankfully they didn’t have a clue, so we made a clean getaway. Once we were outside, the Doo mercs Puzzle had hired met up with us, covering our backs and making sure the Stripes didn’t get any cute ideas.
Once I figured we were far enough away to be reasonably safe, I turned to Puzzle with a grin. “Well, for an operation where almost nothing went according to plan, that turned out surprisingly well.”
Sunset shot us a proud grin. “Only because I was there to save your plots.”
Puzzle answered her with a dry smile. “This one will remind the Shimmer-mare that she nearly got herself shot by blindly jumping into the middle of an active combat zone.”
I chuckled and poked him in the side with a wingtip. “Aw, let her have her pride. She did get us out of a tight spot. You did good, kid.” Sunset’s chest puffed out a bit at the praise, and I turned back to Puzzle. “So ... as far as dates go, that was pretty interesting.”
Puzzle grinned and buffed a hoof on his chest. “This one told the Heartstrings-mare that it wasn't a boring date.”
“Well, you were right.” I thought about it for a moment, then decided that what the hay, why not? “In fact, I’d call that a damn good date, so...” I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. Not because of the mission, or to get closer to him. Just because I wanted to.
Puzzle returned it, then smiled at me. “So, how does next weekend sound for our next date?” He paused, then dryly added. “Though preferably one that doesn't get us shot at. This one suspects that would get boring after a while.”
“Variety is the spice of life,” I agreed.
Sunset glowered at us, letting out a very loud and very annoyed huff. “Hey, lovebirds! Is this really the time and place?”
Puzzle flashed me a mischievous, conspiratorial grin. “And what is wrong with here and now? It's night out, the sky is clear, and this one is on a date with a very beautiful mare. What better time for romance?”
Sunset growled something rather unfriendly under her breath. “I'm not getting paid enough to put up with this.” Without another word, she vanished in a flash of light.
I snickered and shook my head. “Guess she's not a romance fan.”
“Her loss,” Puzzle murmured. “Now then, how about we get those papers somewhere safe, and then do something nice to celebrate a successful mission?”
I grinned and bumped hips with him. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
A week later, once things had settled down a bit, Puzzle took me out for a cruise on his yacht. Yes, he has a yacht. One of the many perks of dating an information broker is that he’s stinking rich, and while he didn’t flaunt his cash as much as some do ... yeah, luxury yacht.
Puzzle was manning the wheel, steering us along a presumably safe course while I contented myself with just enjoying the sun and that warm ocean air. I might’ve grown up in Canterlot, but I was developing a real fondness for tropical ocean weather. It was just so warm and pleasant.
Puzzle grinned over at me as I languidly stretched out. “Enjoying yourself there?” He slipped past me to adjust the sails. “This one would not object to a bit of assistance.”
I yawned and rolled over onto my back. “Hey, I told you when you invited me on a boat trip I didn’t know much about sailing, and that I was just going to spend the day being lazy while you did all the hard work. Why are you so shocked I was telling the truth?” I paused, then chuckled. “It was bound to happen eventually. Lying about everything eventually gets boring.”
“And makes one terribly predictable,” Puzzle agreed, giving me a quick nuzzle as he slipped past me. “You have to at least be honest enough that they can never be sure if you’re lying, or what it is you’re lying about. Not to mention a bit of strategic honesty can catch your enemies by surprise when they’re expecting a lie.” He chuckled. “Regardless, this one hoped you would like getting some nice relaxing sun.”
I spread out my wings to drink in as much sunshine as possible. “Well, you were right. So, are planning to seduce me?”
Puzzle grinned as tucked in the sails and tossed over the anchor. “Ah, the Heartstrings-mare sees through this one’s clever scheme once more. Yes, it was this one's plan to bring you out here to use its charms and wiles to seduce you.”
“Well, you're off to a good start.” I was loving the boat ride, and I’d already snuck a look at the food he’d brought along. Suffice to say I was suitably impressed. “So, how'd it go with the Council?”
“Well enough.” Puzzle settled in next to me and gently nudged me over onto my belly. “The Council arrested Sefu, so whatever he was planning has been stopped. Apparently, he was stockpiling weapons and trying to win over enough supporters to start a race riot.” His hooves started working along my shoulders in a very pleasant way.
“Mmm.” I leaned into his touch, some small part of me surprised by how at ease I felt around him. After all, there’d been a time in the recent past when I never would’ve turned my back on him. “Well, I’m glad we stopped that. What about the Stripes and whoever paid his bills?”
“The Council has made it quite clear that the Blood Stripes no longer enjoy their favor.” His hooves expertly sought out points of tension on my back and got to work relieving them. “The Stripes are of course denying that they were involved in any misdeeds and no formal charges have been levied, but this one would be surprised if they didn't have to use a lot of their funds to pay bribes to keep any of them from going to jail. And until they do something to put themselves back in the Council’s favor, jobs will be a bit harder to come by.”
“Couldn't happen to a nicer set of mercs.” The Stripes would probably just shift to taking more jobs in Zebrica, but that was fine by me. It would keep them far enough away that they wouldn’t be our problem anymore. Any further worries about those mercs faded away as Puzzle’s hooves continued to work their magic. “Mmm, you're good at this...”
“This one did pretend to be a masseuse for a couple weeks at one point in its career.” He paused for just long enough to make me grumble before resuming. “As for who was paying the Stripes, that will require more investigating on the Council's part. There are a great many documents to work through, and that takes time. Though they think Batur had something to do with it after all.”
“He is the obvious suspect.”
“So he is.” Puzzle paused again, frowning pensively. “However, the Council wants to be sure before making the matter public. Few things are worse than accusing another nation’s leaders of wrongdoing only to find out later you were played for a fool. Not to mention the uncertain situation in Zebrica...”
“In other words, the Council doesn’t want to risk starting a feud with Batur if they think he might end up as the next sultan,” I concluded. “In that case, it’s better to hold onto the info and use it as a bargaining chip next time they want something from Zebrica.”
“Just so,” Puzzle agreed. “The current sultan may be old, but he’s not dead yet. If he lives another five or ten years ... a lot can happen in that much time. Best not to burn any bridges.”
“Yeah, that’s how it goes with politics.” Probably my least favorite part of being a spy was the fact that so much of my job was ultimately tied into political agendas. Puzzle and I had gone to all the trouble of uncovering a conspiracy only for the Council to decide that it might be in their interests to keep the whole thing quiet. The EIS would probably do the same thing, given that Equestria generally made a policy of not sticking its nose into other nations’ internal affairs. “So, I guess that means our job’s done? All that's left is to wait for all the paperwork to clear out.”
Puzzle leaned down and planted a kiss on the back of my neck. “Thankfully, this one believes that we can avoid all of that.”
I chuckled and spread my wings. “Great. That’s always been my least favorite part of the job. Definitely like hanging out on a yacht more than pushing papers.”
“It is this one’s least favorite part of its job,” Puzzle agreed. “This one spends too much time reading reports from its agents and not enough time in the field. That is why this one sometimes likes to help uncover a Zebrican conspiracy, even if that means it gets shot at and placed into far too much mortal peril.” He settled down next to me. “Though in truth, this one can think of a few things it would enjoy much more than paperwork or a dangerous infiltration mission.”
“I was never a fan of papers or mortal peril,” I agreed, casually draping a wing over him. For a couple seconds we were just companionably silent, until I started to worry just a bit about how comfortable we were getting. “You know, this could get real complicated. I mean, it’s already complicated, but the more we...”
“It could,” Puzzle agreed. “You have your master, as this one has its. Though given that both of us have the same goals where the Shimmer-mare is concerned, it does not seem likely that we will come into conflict. I want her alive and sane. So do you.” He held up a hoof to forestall my inevitable objection. “Yes, this one is well aware that it is simplifying the matter. It is certainly possible that there will come a point where our nations have a conflict of interest. If that should happen, we will be in quite the difficult position. But ... well, this one thinks it would be bored with normal.”
I let out a soft snort of laughter. “I guess I would be too. So then...” I rolled over so that I was on top of him, grinning down predatorily. “Let’s get un-bored.”
The rest of what happened that afternoon didn’t show up in my report to my boss.
Author's Note
As always, thanks to my pre-reading and editing team for all their hard work. Also, I would like to thank all my dedicated Patreon supporters. You guys are awesome.
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