RainbowsInRealtiy
Dear Diary...
~~~
Dear Diary,
I can't hold it in any longer! I need to express my undying love for one stallion!
This stallion, I love, is the best thing that has ever happened to oneself. I love thee with all my heart, but he does not have the same feelings as oneself. For he loves Spitfire, a young, beautiful, rich mare. As for I... I am nothing but a low-life, weather mare.
My wish is to have him tolerate me. For when he looks at me, he is sick. But for when I look upon him... My heart skips a beat, My hooves tremble, my word stop, my breathing slows, my face is... Scarlet.
His looks could make any are fall. His smile could light up the hole of Cloudsdale. But he never smiles at me. His eyes, pulling me inwards. Massive whirl pools of emeralds. His mane flowing in the wind as he flies past me. His muscular body might, one day, drape around mine as he embraces me. What a thought though. As he does not love me. I wish, he could see my beauty though. But I guess I am just not as perfect as Spitfire. She has the looks that could get her any stallion in the world.
He hates me. He wont ever love me. He would rather see a ugly dog, then see me! Though... I will do anything for him to love me. I will even let him use me as his spaniel. I would let him hurt me, use me, abuse me, lose me. But for as useless am I am, I would do anything to accompany him. To follow him and for I to be by his side.
I long to run to him and for him to embrace me with love. With hope. For him to hold me lovingly, kiss me passionately, hold me affectionately. Love me... Unconditionally. For him to express the same feelings I feel toward him, to me, would be a dream. It would be better then having my dream. But that is a lie. For he is my dream.
For, though my soul is in the sky. I would would share it for him. I would share my life for him. I would leave behind my wings, my soul, my friends, my life, my pride...
For I love him...
Love....
Love...
Love...
A word. Noun. Feeling. An expression. A feeling that he will never have towards me. A deep attraction that I have, which he will never. Well, not towards me. Towards Spitfire... It would never be me...
I thought that dreams came true, I was wrong. Dreams don't. I am not a Wonderbolt. He is not mine. I am not his.
Mother told me I could do or be anything... Then why am I not his? Is it because I am not attractive enough. I am not smart enough? Am I not good enough?
For I was told there was true love. Then if this is true love, why is it so difficult? Why can't one have feelings for someone, and for them to have the same feelings as you.
Why, why Cadence?
It's insane. Its a shame, that feeling so much love, will only bring you pain. And I no longer know how to explain. See, I'm happy as can be, when he is next to me. I try hard to build myself independently. But I need him.
I try to understand why it hurts him. To see the difference, and a point of view. Love. My love.
I held back the tears when he kissed her. I smile as he looks back, and... Sees me.
I want to make him love me. I need him to love me. Why am I not perfect? I guess I am not if he doesn't want me.
Its my turn to understand why you need her... Today, I only feel how I miss you. I need you. I want him by my side, so I never feel alone again.
Spitfire had always been so kind. But now she has taken you away... From me. With her looks.
I need to fetch back the time, she has stolen from us. For I would have him if she was not around.
The only thing I feel is pain, when he's absent. I want him be my side... So I never feel alone again. It was a stolen paradise.
I want to be rich and I need lots of money. I need it, to be like Spitfire. For him to glaze upon me and love me. As she is rich, beautiful, smart. I need that.
And I don't want to lose him, feels like it will take forever. Don't know what I'm doing. But it will work. Don't ever leave me. I have been waiting my whole life, for somepony like him. I can't take him off my mind.
It's a depressing feeling that I shall grow lonely, while watching him with his... His... Wife. Having children, growing old together. Just him and Spitfire. Not me. Never me.
If Cadence could grant me a wish, it would be for his love. I love him. I have wrote it so many times, that I have forgotten what it means. Love, love, love, love, love....
I need love. I need him. I cry as I think about us.... I shall never be with him. I hate crying. I never cry. But when I think about him... I can't help it. My feelings wash out, onto the bed, floor, my face.
Why, Why.... What is love?
It is a stupid feeling that doesn't make any difference in life. Except for the fact that it makes my life more miserable. I need a wish. I need someone to hug, kiss, show affection towards. I don't care what they do to me. I need someone. Give me him. Give me, Soarin.
Author's Note
I hope you liked this. I had planned this for a while. And since it was Shakespeare's birthday... Like a month ago... 
I decided to make this. I love 'A Midsummers Nights Dream', and my favourite character is Helena. ^^
