A Hearth's Warming Fail

by Erisn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 2370

In which Starlight realizes that she's the villain even in fairy tales.

Season 6 Spoilers!

Ah, Snowfall Frost, a misguided pony that nearly ended Hearth's Warming for all of time. Her fable is a lesson to ponies everywhere about appreciating the holidays.

And she doesn't look like Starlight Glimmer one bit. Nope. Not at all.

...Starlight Glimmer isn't too happy when she learns Twilight is basing Snowfall's character off of her.

Published 2016-05-14 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-14 20:00:01 UTC

Why Couldn't It Be Twilight?

“Well, that was fun.”

Starlight, Spike, and Twilight sat together in the library, drinking from their mugs of hot cocoa and eggnog. They were taking a small break from Hearth’s Warming party, which was still going on downstairs.

“I’m so glad you were able to get into the holiday spirit, Starlight,” Twilight was saying. “I guess that book really did teach you a valuable lesson about the holidays.”

“It sure did,” Starlight agreed. “I mean, Snowfall as a character was kinda weird at times, what with the plan to end Hearth’s Warming forever and all, but the story was still really fun!”

“Yes, well, I do agree that Snowfall was mistaken, but look at how valuable her story is!” Twilight nudged the book with one hoof. “We can draw so many comparisons to our lives. I mean, you had your own slightly crazy moments too, right Starlight?”

Starlight’s brows shot together in a sudden frown. The convivial atmosphere in the room froze over in a heartbeat.

“Uh oh.” Spike sat up and carefully put down his mug of tepid chocolate. He looked at Starlight’s expression. “I’m uh, going to go for a refill. Anyone want more eggnog?”

Spike hopped off his chair and tried to scurry out of the room. The glow of teal magic pulled him back as Starlight lifted Spike back into his chair.

“Don’t go Spike,” Starlight said. “I want you to hear this too. What was that you just said, Twilight? I’m like Snowfall, am I?”

“What?” Twilight said, frantically trying to backpedal. “Oh, no. No. I never said that.”

“You just implied it.” Starlight’s stared at Twilight. “And that story – was it all supposed to be a metaphor for my life Twilight?”

“Well, maybe,” Twilight admitted. “B-but it’s a great foal’s tale! I read it every year!”

“But the villain’s name is Snowfall,” Starlight pointed out. “Kinda like Starlight. And she’s a powerful unicorn who’s great at magic—”

“But not as good as Starswirl,” Twilight interjected. She wilted under Starlight’s glare. “Sorry.”

“—And she’s somepony who nearly destroys the world because of her thoughtless actions.” Starlight folded her hooves in disgust. “Great. Rub it in my face why don’t you?”

“It’s not like that!” Twilight protested. “It’s just an old story I love! Spike knows, I read it to you every year, don’t I Spike?”

“That’s true,” Spike agreed, trying not to be caught in the crossfire. “I’ve heard it every Hearth’s Warming. It doesn’t have to be about you, Starlight.”

“Is that so?” Starlight looked at Twilight, still suspicious. “Well then, Twilight. What does Snowfall look like in your mind?”

“What does she look like?” Twilight said, eyes flicking to the book and Starlight’s face. “Well…a unicorn. Yeah, a unicorn. Nothing special about that.”

“Oh yeah?” Starlight stared at Twilight. “Describe her.”

“W-well. She has, uh, hair.” Twilight stammered. “Long hair – I mean short hair! Very short hair!”

“What color?”

“Violet—I mean magenta!” Twilight said hastily. “Actually, more like crimson red. And her coat is…green.”

“A pony with a red mane and green coat. I see.” Starlight rolled her eyes. “And what about her Cutie Mark?”

“A purple and white star with two streams of magic—I mean a pile of snow falling from the sky.” Twilight said. “That was a slip—slip of the tongue. Um. Uh oh…”

Starlight stared at Twilight in disgust.

“Unbelievable. You didn’t even bother to change her Cutie Mark?”

“It was a mental image!” Twilight protested. “I’m sorry Starlight, I just used your appearance because, well, you fit her character!”

“Oh, so I get to be the idiot in this story and that’s okay? This is so typical,” Starlight snapped. “Once a villain always a villain, am I right? Even in fairy tales I get cast as the idiot trying to destroy the world. Trixie was right. There are no second prances after all!”

“No! It’s not like that!” Twilight reached out and grabbed Starlight by one hoof. “Starlight, I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have made it seem like you were the same as Snowfall in this story. You two are clearly different. Please, I know I made a mistake so don’t be too angry.”

“Well…good.” Starlight relaxed a bit. “I’m glad you realized it.”

“Phew.” Spike clambered out from underneath the sofa. “For a moment there I thought things were about to get nasty.”

“I guess I just got a little touchy at being the villain again,” Starlight said. “I’m sorry, Twilight.”

“Oh, no, I should apologize.” Twilight said earnestly. “Snowfall’s character was mistaken, but she had her own reasons for doing what she did. It would be a mistake to say she’s exactly like you.”

“Yeah, especially when she’s more like you than anypony,” Starlight agreed with a laugh.

The room’s atmosphere froze for the second time and Spike back down beneath the sofa.

“Excuse me?” Twilight said. “What did you just say?”

“You’re more like Snowfall than I am,” Starlight said. “This entire time you were telling the story I was imagining she looked like you.”

“What?”

“Oh come on. Why are you offended?” Starlight asked, exasperated.

“Well because she’s clearly not me,” Twilight said huffily. “We’re completely different.”

“You two are so alike.”

“We are not!”

“You so are. Spike agrees with me, right Spike?” Starlight pulled Spike out from underneath the sofa by his tail. “Isn’t Twilight like Snowfall?”

Spike tried to avoid the piercing glares both unicorns leveled at him. “W-well, uh, I,” he stammered. “M-maybe?”

“What?” Twilight shouted. She rounded on Spike. “How can you say that? We’re nothing alike! Name one thing Snowfall and I have in common!”

“Um, you both have assistants,” Spike said nervously. “That’s what I noticed.”

Twilight stopped, jaw working soundlessly. “T-that’s…”

“And she lives in Canterlot.” Starlight nudged Twilight. “Sound familiar?”

“And her assistant is named Snow Dash,” Spike said, scratching his head. “That’s a really weird coincidence, isn’t it?”

“Exactly.” Starlight said triumphantly. “And let’s look at Snowfall’s character. She studies magic all the time, she doesn’t like interruptions to her studying, and she thinks anything that gets in the way of her studying is pointless. In fact, she tries to end a holiday just so she can continue studying magic.” She looked pointedly at Twilight. “Sound familiar at all?”

“I never tried to destroy a holiday just so I could continue studying,” Twilight said weakly. “It-it’s coincidence, that’s all.”

“Well, let’s continue,” Starlight said. “The only way Snowfall learns to appreciate the holidays is through the help of a few ponies she encounters. Ones who sort of resemble ponies we know?”

Twilight worked her jaw soundlessly for a few moments. “Well,” she said at last. “Wow. Well. You make a good point.” She thought for a few seconds. “But does it even matter? I mean, it’s a story and it’s good either way, right?”

“No, it doesn’t matter,” Starlight agreed magnanimously. “And it is a good story no matter who resembles the main character. I just wanted to point out that it would be great even if it were you who played the main role, rather than me.”

“Point well made, and I’ll take it under advice next time I…imagine the story.” Twilight said to Starlight. “But you did like it, so I consider my objective accomplished.”

“I did,” Starlight agreed. She hesitated and scratched at the floorboards with one hoof. “By the way Twilight? I really, really appreciate how you read the entire story to me, but, uh…”

“Yes Starlight?”

“You really shouldn’t try to sing those songs by yourself. I mean, the Spirit of the Past’s song is great and I can totally see Applejack singing it. But you…”

“Suck,” Spike said. “And you really can’t do the Spirit of Harmony’s voice right. Next time why don’t you get Pinkie Pie to sing it?”

Twilight glared at both Spike and Starlight. “I thought I did a great job!”

“Yeah, well…” Starlight scratched awkwardly at her head. “I don’t know what you were seeing in your head, but to us it just looked like you were singing pretty randomly. I mean, you’d be reading this story and then suddenly break out into song. In fact, most of the story was song come to that. Which isn’t bad, but…”

“What?”

“Well, just think about it,” Starlight said. “This would be a great play if we got all these different ponies singing these songs and dancing around, but when you read it out loud Twilight...it’s just one pony singing in a lot of voices. Badly.”

“Which is the best part,” Spike remarked. “Have you seen her try to read Hooflet by herself? It’s hilarious! She does all the voices!”

Twilight glared at both Spike and Starlight. “You two just don’t appreciate good acting. I was just trying to do justice to a great story. I mean, Snowfall is one of the greatest villains in all of literary history! Her tale is a classic!”

“A classic tale of ridiculousness, maybe.” Starlight rolled her eyes. “Snowfall isn’t much of a villain.”

“She nearly ends all of Equestria with one spell!” Twilight said. “That’s pretty evil, even for a mistake.”

“Yeah, but her entire character is based off of one jerk she meets when she’s a filly,” Starlight pointed out. “If these so-called Spirits wanted to save Hearth’s Warming, all they’d have to do is use the Spirit of the Past and go and—”

Starlight paused. A big smile crept onto her face.

“Starlight?” Twilight looked at the unicorn warily. “You’d better not be thinking of what I think you’re planning…”

“Let me just…” Starlight whipped out Starlight’s time travel scroll.

“Don’t do it!” Twilight lunged at Starlight.

Too late, Starlight vanished in a flash of light.

Centuries Ago…

A stony-faced Professor Flintheart walked over to a young Snowfall Frost’s basket of Hearth’s Warming ornaments.

“Just what do you think you’re doing Snowf—” he began.

A cough interrupted the old unicorn.

“Hey. Hey you.”

Professor Flintheart looked up and saw Starlight Glimmer hovering in midair, scowling at him. “Excuse me?”

“Hearth’s Warming is great.” Starlight Glimmer said. She pointed at Snowfall Frost. “Don’t ruin it for her.”

“But—” Flintheart scowled.

Starlight floated towards Flintheart and glared at him. “Don’t ruin. The holiday.”

Her horn glowed. Flintheart gulped and took a step back. “Right. Don’t ruin the holiday. Message received.”

“Good.” Starlight floated back to her time travel scroll. “Let her enjoy this day. And if you don’t, I’ll know about it.” She waved at the young Snowfall Frost who was gaping in amazement at her. “See ya, kid. Keep practicing magic.”

Starlight reappeared in a flash of light and looked smugly at Twilight. “That was easy.”

“Starlight!” Twilight said, exasperated. “You can’t just go back in time and change things! That was a fairy tale! It shouldn’t even have been possible to…”

Her eyes fell on the book. “Oh no. Please don’ be—”

Twilight flipped open the book and began reading. After one minute she put it down and glared at Starlight.

“Well? What’s it say?”

“This is an autobiography penned by Snowfall Frost about her life,” Twilight said, scowling at Starlight. “It has no stories in it, just page after page of magical notes and experiments interspersed with accounts of getting wasted on eggnog every Hearth’s Warming Eve. And her first account is of meeting a powerful unicorn as a filly, one who, and I quote: ‘is no doubt the best magic-user in all of Equestrian history, surpassing even Starswirl the Bearded in her mastery of spells.’”

Starlight grinned sheepishly. Twilight glared.

“Well, I’m off to the party. I’m going to drink cider and forget about this night. Thank you Starlight, for ruining a classic foal’s tale for me forever.”

Twilight got up, slammed the book, and walked out the door. Starlight and Spike watched her go in silence.

“I feel sort of bad about that,” Starlight confessed. “I’ll go back and change it. Tomorrow.”

“Twilight’s just mad that somepony called you better than Starswirl,” Spike said with a shrug, finishing off his cocoa. “But she was sort of right, wasn’t she? Snowfall had one bad experience as a filly, and that made her bitter for the rest of her life.”

“Just like me,” Starlight said comprehension dawning, “oh horsefeathers. Twilight was right! I am Snowfall!”

“Well, if you ask me you’re both sort of like Snowfall,” Spike observed. “I’m just upset that we didn’t get a character like Celestia singing. That would have been cool. The Spirit of the Future was amazing though.”

“Oh yeah, I loved that part.”

“It was a really great story, wasn't it?”

“Eh, I’ve read countless variations of the same.” Starlight shrugged. “The songs were what really carried it through.”

“Too bad there’s not enough time for another story,” Spike remarked. “I’d have loved to read The Cinch and hear all those cool songs.”

“Well, maybe next year.” Starlight Glimmer said. “But at least we can celebrate Hearth’s Warming Eve tonight, right?”

“Right!” Spike hopped off his chair. “And I can’t wait to open presents! This year everypony is together, which means that we get way more presents than normal! I mean, Twilight’s nice and all, but…” He shrugged sadly. “…books, y’know? That’s all I’ve gotten, every year. Books, books, and sometimes bookmarks.”

Spike opened the door and noticed Starlight had frozen in her tracks. Her smile had petrified on her face, and now resembled more of a rictus death-stare than anything else.

“Starlight?” Spike asked. “Are you okay?”

“Aha.” Starlight breathed. “Presents. Uh oh.”

“Oh man, don’t tell me you never got any!” Spike said, horrified.

“I was going to skip Hearth’s Warming!” Starlight protested. “I didn’t think I needed any!”

“Well you gotta think of something, or you’re going to be this year’s big scrooge!” Spike said. “Quick, what’s easy to make and wrap for everypony?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know!” Starlight was hyperventilating. “This is going to be a disaster. I’m going to be Snowfall after all, I—”

She stopped midsentence. Starlight’s eyes drifted downwards and fixed on Spike’s feet.

“Spike?”

“What is it Starlight? Do you have an idea?”

“Yeah. Let me get some nail clippers.”