Doubt

by Silvermyr

Rating: everyone
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 4177

Diamond Tiara asks her father for advice on her future.

Diamond Tiara has been worried lately, but she managed to push it away. After all, it was far away in the future. It was easier to let it dwell.

However, as Diamond have begun to learn the hard way, one can not outrun time. Her worries have begun to catch up, and she can feel the time run out. It is getting harder and harder to ignore.

Perhaps it is time she confronted the worries about her future?

[Other tag is for Filthy Rich].

Published 2016-05-17 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-17 01:50:01 UTC

Uncertainty

”Bye DT!” Silver Spoon called excitably from the marble staircase. She waved her hoof energetically, and the sun reflected in her glasses, causing Diamond to blink. ”Will you pick me up at the usual time for school tomorrow?”

”Count on it,” Diamond Tiara answered. ”I can’t wait to hear all about your trip to Canterlot. I mean, you will get to see Sapphire Shores live! Her music is like, the hottest thing there is!”

”I know!” Silver giggled with excitement. ”I can’t wait to hear Get Your Pony On! That's got to be the greatest hit ever!”

”Lucky you,” Diamond said, sneaking a jealous edge into her voice. ”Really wish I could come along.”

”And you are absolutely sure you can’t?” Silver asked earnestly. ”I’m sure we could get another ticket, and it would be great to have you there with me. Do you really have to do that essay now of all times? Can’t you wait just one day?”

”I’ve told you, Silver; no I can’t,” Diamond huffed, somewhat annoyed. She had already explained three times that she was busy this evening, and she was getting tired of it. ”Miss Cheerilee said she would give me detention if I miss the deadline for this essay. If I want to be home at decent times for the rest of the month, and avoid have my allowance frozen, then I need too get it done now.”

Silver shuddered at the mention of her friend having her allowance frozen. ”Okay,” she said with a sigh. ”If you really must.”

”Yea, I think I have made it pretty clear that I really must,” Diamond said bitterly. ”You do know that I would much rather be with you than with that dusty… Starcurl the Nerded, or whatever his name was, right?”

”Starswirl the Bearded,” Silver corrected, earning her a displeased glare from her friend.

”Whatever,” Diamond bit her off dismissively. She did not like being corrected. ”All those ancient ponies sound the same to me. I don’t even get it why we have to learn all that stuff. Like, it was thousands of years ago, what does it matter now?”

”I don’t know,” Silver agreed with a shake of her head. ”Good thing I worked together with Featherweight. He was really good at it, so…” she trailed off. She probably was not helping Diamond's mood.

The two friends stood silent for a moment. ”Bye then, Silvy. See you tomorrow,” Diamond called and began walking home. While she would have loved to stay and chat more with her friend, not to mention going to Canterlot, there was something she really needed to do, and this evening was the only possible time for quite a while.

Diamond was done with the essay. She had spent the last weekend perfecting it, and felt confident that she would get a good grade on it. She felt bad for lying to her friend like that, but it was for a good reason. She really could not go with her to Canterlot this evening, and Silvy had wanted a reason. Diamond really, really did not want to explain why, so she went with a lie instead. There was no harm done anyway. Or, that was what Diamond kept telling herself anyway.

She shook her head and took a deep breath, banishing the thought. Silvy was the least of her problems right now. She kept on walking, trying to keep herself from worrying too much. This was really no big deal. It was just her father she would talk to, and she had not done anything wrong this time. She knew she had nothing to fear, but still… She was still uneasy about this. No matter how one sliced it, she was going to show weakness. Diamond Tiara hated showing weakness. Diamond adjusted her tiara with one hoof. She tended to do that when she was nervous.

Ponyville was more or less deserted at this hour, a few hours after most shops had closed down for the day. Ponies had retreated home and were now cooking dinner or washing up after a long day. Diamond crossed over the town square and soon found herself just outside Carousel Boutique.

”Wonder if Sweetie Belle has worried about this too?” Diamond thought absently. She stopped and looked at the round building for a moment. ”Nah, why would she? She is good in school and has a supportive sister too.” Diamond shrugged and continued on her way, thinking like she had many times lately about how much better her new friends were in school than her.

She knew she should not think like that; school was not a competition after all. But she could not help herself. Diamond Tiara simply was not used to feel inferior to other ponies, having been brought up as the most privileged filly in town. Now when she worked alongside other ponies rather than above them, she had begun to see something. Especially in the Cutie Mark Crusaders, she saw that they were all skilled at most subjects in school, something she admittedly was not.

Diamond Tiara shook her head again and adjusted her trademark tiara as she went up to the mansion where she lived. When she neared the door, Randolph opened it for her.

”Miss Tiara,” he said formally. ”I trust you had a pleasant afternoon with your friend?”

”Yea, it was nice,” Diamond replied and went in.

”I took the liberty of preparing a meal for you, fennel with herb marinated radishes and fresh asparagus tips, if you please,” Randolph said once Diamond had wiped her hooves on the doormat and come in proper.

”You know me so well,” Diamond said with a relieved voice. She could always count on Randolph making her food just like she wanted it. This would be a pleasant meal, especially if…

”Hey, is my father home yet?”

”Indeed he is, little miss,” Randolph replied stiffly. ”He has been home for a few hours, and is currently in his study, working." The butler left it unsaid that Filthy Rich normally did not want to be disturbed in his work, but Diamond understood nonetheless.

”Can I see him before I eat?” Diamond asked with a voice of hope and anxiety in equal measure. On one hoof she wanted to get her talk over with, on the other she was still worried. Better to let Randolph decide for her.

”I cannot stop you from seeing your father, little miss,” Randolph answered evenly. ”But I would recommend eating a little bit first. He is a busy stallion, and you must be hungry.”

Diamond nodded. ”Yea, I’m hungry. Serve the food.” She would eat first, and see her father after that. Without waiting for her butler, Diamond Tiara turned to the kitchen. She could soon smell the luxurious dinner and the filly’s mouth began to water. She took her place by the large dining table and waited for just a few moments before Randolph entered with a large silver platter.

”I hope you will find the meal to you liking, little miss,” Randolph said and removed the lid, revealing the perfectly cooked vegetables. They were accompanied by a generous amount of golden butter, just like Diamond Tiara liked it. Randolph really was a master chef, aside from also being a meticulous cleaner and orderly accountant too. The eager filly picked up knife and fork and started eating.

”Wonder how long I could eat food like this on my own…” Diamond found herself thinking as she bit into a fresh asparagus. ”How much do my food cost anyway? Asparagus this late season must be expensive. Got to be way too expensive for normal ponies…” Her eyes fell on the fork she held with her fetlock. Sliver, with her cutie mark engraved in gold. ”And just this fork likely costed more than many wedding rings…”

She glanced up at Randolph, who stood by her, waiting patiently to remove her platter once she finished. ”How long have I ever been away from Randolph? A few days during that field trip… never more than that. How much do father pay him anyway?” Diamond swallowed some fennel and found her appetite dying. She had been feeling anxious for days now and her time was running out.

She had to see her father, right now.

Without really tasting it, Diamond Tiara finished her food. Randolph took her plate and left without a word. Diamond sat by the table for another few seconds, trying to assert herself. Before she had too much time to think and worry, she went from the table, into the grand vestibule and up the stairs. Soon she stood outside Filthy Rich’s study. Diamond adjusted her tiara and pushed it open.

Her father sat behind a large mahogany desk. On it were two perfect stacks of paper, a lamp and some pencils. Bookcases and a few pictures of Diamond and her mother hung on the wall behind him. Her father was not the largest or most muscular pony in the world, but it only took one glance to understand that this was a pony with control. His gaze was always somewhat rebuffing, making most ponies a bit nervous around him. However, he always knew exactly what to say and how to act in order to make ponies do what he wanted, a skill Diamond in turn had inherited. Filthy Rich looked up with ice blue eyes from the form he was reading.

”My little diamond,” he said with a, for him, warm voice. ”Sorry I haven’t seen you today, but you did not come home after school.”

”I went to Silver Spoon,” Diamond mumbled.

”I see,” Filthy said calmly and returned to his paper. ”Mother will come home later tonight, and I will leave for Galloping Gorge at monday. Perhaps we could do something this weekend, all three?”

Diamond swallowed. Spoiled would come tonight. Her time to speak with father without Spoiled interfering could be measured in hours. ”Father…” she began tentatively.

”Yes?” Filthy said absently, absorbed in his paper.

Here goes. ”When did you start working?”

Filthy looked up with a surprised look. ”The summer when I was twelve, as a newscolt. Pa wouldn’t let me work in his store yet, so I took whatever I could find. Why?”

Diamond ignored the question. ”And then what? Did you work more after that summer?”

Filthy thought. ”Let’s see if I can remember the order… I went to school in between summers, naturally, even if I worked a bit as a cleaner too, during the weekends. Summer when I was thirteen… that was when got a place on the Friendship Express, selling refreshments. Fourteen, I got to help out at Sweet Apple Acres, repairing farm tools and fences. Fifteen was my favorite year, for that’s when my father let me work in the company, as a receptionist. Following years I went on up and down in the hierarchy, working as clerk, accountant, store manager and everything in between. I was… twenty-eight when I took over leadership of Barnyard Bargains, and that has been my job since.”

Filthy put the form away and looked over his daughter with a complementing expression. ”Now, why do you ask me this?”

Diamond felt thickness in her throat.

She had been worried about this for longer than she wanted to admit, but it all had become impossible to ignore only the other week. She had been with Apple Bloom at Sweet Apple Acres, keeping her new friend company during the chores. That got Diamond Tiara thinking. Apple Bloom always had to pull her own weight at the farm, doing some lighter tasks. Once upon a time Diamond had laughed at her, but now she felt uneasy about it. Her friend was evidently learning much, Diamond could see it.

And Apple Bloom had to learn. One day she would co-own the orchard with her siblings. She would run a business.

Diamond too would run a business. Barnyard Bargains was a family company, and one of the most successful ones in Equestria at that. Now she began to see why. Her father had likely done every job there was in the whole company, from the lowest, dirtiest ones to the one he had now. All those jobs had given him experience he could rely on every day. No wonder the company did so well.

But what experience would Diamond Tiara have when the time came? What did Diamond know, what works had she held?

Absolutely none. She was fourteen and a half year old. Her father had held like… three jobs when he was her age, and she had not yet worked one day in her life.

She would not be able to do it. How could she take such a responsibility? How could she be expected to follow her father’s hoofsteps? How could she take over after him? He was the most respected pony in town, and she was but a spoiled brat.

”Diamond, why do you ask me this?” Filthy repeated, clear and slow this time.

”Just wondered,” Diamond replied with what she hoped was a nonchalant voice. ”Sorry for interrupting, daddy.” She turned around to leave.

”In my line of work, you learn to see through lies pretty fast,” Filthy stated calmly. ”Just so you know, my little diamond.”

Diamond Tiara froze in the middle of a step.

”Let’s try again,” Filthy said with a matter-of-factly tone. ”Why do you ask about my early work?”

”I…I…” Diamond stammered, halfway out of the room. She immediately scolded herself. She did not want to stammer, did not want to look weak. A diamond never fracture, never break. A diamond is the hardest thing there is.

Diamond Tiara swallowed and turned to her father again. He bore an eerie resemblance to a judge when he sat behind that fortress of a desk. ”I… ” she adjusted her tiara without noticing, ”…just wanted to know when you started preparing for taking over the company,” Diamond tried uncertainly.

”I see. And why is that?”

Diamond hesitated. Her father normally did not ask her much about anything. He was a practical stallion, actions mattered more than words to him. But not today, apparently. She adjusted her tiara agin. ”Well… I just thought it would be good for me to know.” Diamond and a feeling her father would not be satisfied with such an evasive answer.

Filthy sighed and got up from his chair. ”Little diamond, I want to help you with whatever is bothering you, but I can’t unless I know what you need help with. Please, just tell me.”

Diamond found herself caught off guard when Filthy went around the table and sat down on his haunches, just a few hooflengths away from her. Diamond absently thought of her mother’s reaction if she found out Filthy had sat on the floor. He waited expectantly. Diamond looked down on her hooves.

”Like… it started a few weeks ago,” she began. ”I started thinking about… stuff when I was with Apple Bloom. It feels like they, The Crusaders, are all much better than me at everything. As I spend time with them, I learn more about them and of their future plans.”

Diamond stole a glance at Filthy’s face. He looked back with a thoughtful expression. Her father did not seem surprised or displeased so far. She looked away again. It was easier to talk to the air.

”They have already taken their first steps toward their futures. Apple Bloom works on her farm, Sweetie Belle sews things now and then and Scootaloo practices with her scooter. Silvy too, she tries silversmithing. Like… they are so focused on their future. But me…”

Diamond sniffled. That made her even more upset. She hated looking weak in front of her father! She hated it!

”You are not,” Filthy filled in for her, softly. ”You asked me about my early work to see if it was your friends were early in preparing for the future, or if you were late.”

Diamond nodded slowly. Now he knew. Now she could not go back.

”I guess my answer did not exactly calm you down, did it?” Diamond looked up at Filthy’s voice. Her father looked more sheepish than she had ever seen him. She smiled a little at his expression. Her father’s face was not made to look like that; he was a pony in control of everything. That face and that awkward scratching of his mane belonged on Derpy, not Filthy Rich.

Filthy shook his head. ”So, basically you are worried about your future then? Knowing that you are going to take over the company one day makes you uncertain. Am I right?”

”Yea,” Diamond mumbled. ”Sorry, father.”

”Don’t be,” Filthy said dismissively. ”In fact, I’m surprised you are as calm as you are, talking to me about this. I wasn't.”

”You?” Diamond looked after some sign of joke in her father’s face, but found none. ”Wait, have you worried about this stuff too?”

”What?” Filthy asked with a sarcastic voice. ”Worried that I was going to take over one of the most successful businesses in Equestria, not to mention my grandfather’s and father’s lifeworks? Well no, I was not nervous at all.” Filthy’s face broke into a grin. ”For Celestia’s sake, little diamond, do you think I’m made of stone? Of course I was climbing the walls.”

”Huh…” Diamond was surprised. ”But you are always so… cool. Like, nothing ever makes you nervous.”

Filthy laughed heartily. ”Tell me, my little Diamond, do you like people knowing that you are afraid?”

Diamond made a grimace. ”No, I hate that!”

”Runs in the family,” Filthy confirmed. ”I still become nervous when I meet with my clients, or when I make a larger deal. But I have learned to hide it.” Filthy shook his head. ”But that’s not important. You are what’s important now.”

The two ponies sat still for a moment, both of them lost in thought. Diamond looked at her father. It was rare that he opened up like this. With her dominant mother constantly being a thorn in Diamond’s side, she usually avoided her home when she could. Filthy’s many business trips also meant that they saw each other only rarely. This was a side of her father she barely knew. Diamond twisted awkwardly. Normally she liked being the center of attention, but it was rare that her father showed so much emotion. She was not sure how to handle this situation. ”So… If you’ve been were I am, how did you get over this?”

”I did what you are doing, I talked with my pa about it. And… I did something else too,” Filthy replied. ”Tell me, just what are you so afraid of, my little diamond? Why are you worrying about failing at something you have not tried? You are always so feisty, this is not like you at all.”

”Because I don’t know anything,” Diamond admitted meekly. Small tears began to pool in her eyes. ”A-all my life… Randolph have always been there and helped me with anything I couldn’t do, or… your money have, or your name, or all my stuff.” Diamond looked at her hooves again. ”Wh-what have I ever done? Myself, with my own hooves? I-I’m not ready to be in charge of anything… I know nothing, nothing but how to bully others…” Diamond hiccuped once, swallowed and went on. ”You started preparing way earlier than me. I won’t be ready, and I can’t turn back time to fix it.”

"You fractured," Diamond thought with a quiet sob. "Nicely done, Diamond."

Filthy hugged his daughter tenderly. She hugged back. ”Diamond Tiara,” he whispered. ”You just proved that you are far more ready than you think.”

”I did?” Diamond whispered back.

”You have realized your mistakes, and you are anxious about them.” Filthy pulled back and looked into Diamond’s sad and slightly confused face. ”You want to do something on your own, right? You want to start preparing for when you take over after me? That was exactly what I did too, and the advice my pa gave to me. I think you know too… there really is only one way.”

Diamond wiped her eyes. ”Work this summer, huh?” she mumbled. She knew it was right; she knew that even before she went into this room. She simply did not dare to admit it. Diamond adjusted her tiara. ”I’m not sure I can… even if I got a job, could I hold it? I’m… lazy and stuff.” She said the last words with a very small voice. ”I’m not used to working…”

”Well, do you want to?” Filthy asked with a serious voice. ”Do you want to work?”

Diamond took a moment to think, really think, about that question. Did she truly want to?

Yes. Yes she did. She knew it would be a painful experience, taking orders, being told what to do, make mistakes and clean them up herself. She would just be a normal worker, her wealth or status would not help. But even more than that, she thought of all she would get. She would not have to worry anymore, she would not have to feel inferior to her friends and make her first money. Money she had earned through her own sweat and tears.

And her father would be proud of her. Just thinking those words filled Diamond Tiara with longing. For so long had she wanted that, wanted to make her father proud. Now, for the first time, maybe could she be worthy of all he had done for her. This could be her chance of being something else than a lazy, spoiled bully. Maybe, just maybe, she could become a pony who Filthy Rich himself could proudly call his daughter.

”Yes, father. I want to.”

Filthy gave her a relaxed smile. ”Then I don’t think you need much more advice, little diamond. If there is one thing I know, it is that when my Diamond Tiara wants something, she tend to get it. She has this uncanny ability to always get just what she wants.”

Diamond gave a small smile. That smile, together with her slightly damp cheeks, ice blue eyes and somewhat fuzzy mane was the most beautiful thing Filthy Rich had seen in a long time. ”I guess I have…” she said tentatively. ”I mean, I learned to be a friend pretty easily, so learning to work can’t be that bad, right?”

”I for one, my little diamond, have often found that admitting my mistakes is the hardest part of a problem solving process. Changing the mistake is often surprisingly easy once you give it an honest try.”

Diamond sat up a little straighter. ”Yea, I know I can always get what I want. It even says so on my flank.”

”It does,” Filthy confirmed. ”You know what Princess Platinum said once?”

”No, what?” Diamond asked curiously.

”Some ponies are born to rule. The rest are born to kneel.” Filthy recited. ”I think you are just the kind of pony Platinum meant. Clever, inspiring, kind, capable… What more does a leader need?”

”A tiara?” Diamond suggested. Filthy chuckled.

”Yes, a tiara…” he kissed his daughter on the forehead. ”I honestly think you will go far, little diamond. I really do.”

Silence.

”I imagine this is a lot to take in,” Filthy said with a practical tone. ”Why don’t you take some time alone and reflect on this? Just remember that I will always be here if you need somepony to talk too. I… know I travel a lot, but… I am very careful to read my letters.”

Diamond nodded. ”I will remember that. Thanks for everything, father.” Diamond rose hugged her father again. ”Really, thanks.”

”Any day,” Filthy replied.

Diamond went out the Filthy’s study and up to her own room. ”Some ponies are born to rule, huh? I like that quote.” Diamond thought to herself.

She felt better. She knew what she had to do. Now she just had to do it. She should visit some shops tomorrow and scout out her possibilities. Her grandfather had not allowed Filthy to work in the company early on, and she did not want to exploit her father's position; she was going to do this on her own. She knew there was a lot of young ponies applying to work at Barnyard Bargains. If she wanted that spot, she needed merits.

But she was not worried about that. She was Diamond Tiara. She always got what she wanted, one way or another. She looked down on her flank for a moment.

Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her, or maybe her cutie mark flashed for a moment?

Author's Note

This was originally part of something else I am writing, but it felt pretty misplaced. Since I thought the idea was decent enough, I decided to make it a separate story instead. This is the result.

I hope you enjoyed my little project.

As usual, any corrections, comments and constructive criticism mean a lot to me.