Chapters MST: Mysteries Shouldn't Tickle
...And Rarity's A parrot?
“So This is the way it is?” Rainbow Dash asked desperately, one dark circled eye twitching. She hadn’t slept in days.
Twilight sighed. “I’m afraid so. I’m so sorry, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow Dash sank down, using three of her legs to grasp the tree branch three of them were balanced on, shaking one hoof up at the heavens.
“CURSE YOU ALIENS! CURSE YYOOOUUUU!!!!!!”
“Why do the Poopheds have to be this way?” Scootaloo muttered behind her, depressed.
A fair ways away on the ground, Fluttershy turned to Rarity. “How did it come this far?” She whispered, pulling an antenna self-consciously.
Rarity adjusted her parrot costume. “Oh, this itches so!” She seethed. “I wish we’d never watched that confounded movie!”
MST: Mysteries Shouldn't Tickle
Two weeks ago
Twilight Sparkle skipped out of her home. What a beautiful day to check the mail, she thought. She was already looking forward to the day ahead. After she was done with checking the mail, she’d eat a delicious of breakfast of oatmeal, then have a few hours of studying! Later, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack were coming over for a relaxing evening together.
Twilight sighed happily and took in a moment to savor the sunshine. Ah yes, life was perfect.
Bonk.
OK, almost perfect.
“What in Equestria?” Twilight muttered, rubbing her head, examining the package before her. It hard and rectangular, and it…
“What in Equestria ?!” The wrapping was colorful and flashy, with large, bright text, stating:
Harmony’s Heroes
Centered on it was a picture of Pinkie Pie with Fluttershy cowering behind her, and Applejack, Rarity, and herself looking around watchfully.
“What is this…?"
Realization dawned on her.
Twilight burst into the castle, levitating the item in front of her.
“Spike, take notes quickly!” Twilight called.
“What is it, Twi?” Spike asked, rubbing his eyes, not quite awake.
Twilight grinned. “This.” She said, levitating Harmony’s Heroes in front of his face.
Spike scratched his head. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s called a tape, Spike! Don’t you remember We learned all about it when we went through the portal to the Human World! Don’t you remember?”
“No…”
“The time with the Dazzlings?” Twilight prompted.
“Noo…Wait, was that the night I went with Rarity when she had to work overtime at the Boutique?”
Twilight pondered for a second. “I think so...Oh, that explains it...Well, they show these stories on a screen, and it’s amazing! It’s like an actual
story that plays out with sight and sound! Oooh, and Pinkie Pie (the human one) showed me this movie-”
“What’s a movie?”
“It's a tape, Spike. Dah.” Said Twilight, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh.” Spike nodded sagely, still confused.
“Anyway, she showed me this old movie about a guy gets turned into a werewolf and then he has to figure out how to turn back to normal and-”
“Wow.”
“I KNOW!” Twilight squealed. “It was amazing! Now the question is,” She said, placing the tape on her desk, “What is one doing in Equestria?”
“Where’d you find it?”
“It hit me on the head as I was walking out to check the mail!” Twilight said cheerily.
“OK then...Wait, what are you guys doing on the cover?”
“That’s what I need to find out!” Twilight said, getting out lab equipment. “Let’s see, first I’ll dust it for hoofprints, then I can do some salinity tests, carbon-copies-Oh! I know!"
Twilight levitated the book she used to keep in contact with Sunset Shimmer. Levitating a quill, she wrote:
Sunset Shimmer-Videotape fell out of the sky-literally! I'm not sure where it came from or why, because as you know videotapes don't exist in Equestria. Write back soon if you got any ideas!
“Wouldn’t it be easier just to watch it?” Spike asked.
Twilight turned to her number one assistant, a huge, huge grin on her face.
“That's a FANTASTIC IDEA!”
“Uh-oh…”
Sunset-Scratch that, new plan! Girls and I are gonna watch it together! So excited!
-Twilight
MST: Mysteries Shouldn't Tickle
In Which Ponies Are Intrigued
Evening, The Same Day
“So what are y’all so excited about, Twi?” Applejack asked. “Ah Just see a strange lookin’ box, with a picture of us on it.”
“Hey, how come I’m not in the picture?” Rainbow Dash complained.
“I don’t know.” Twilight told her, wondering herself. “It’s called a tape.”
She quickly explained what a tape was and how she'd come across it.
“So it’s like it’s happenin’ except it’s not happenin’?” Applejack pondered.
“ It’s like a play, only with no stage because it would be really awkward to fit a stage in your living room because the whole point of not
having a stage is so that you won’t have to have a stage!” Pinkie Pie gasped.
“Umm, yes, Pinkie.” Twilight agreed, amazed. It was the exact explanation human Pinkie had given when showing her own tapes to Twilight.
Go figure.
“Anyway, I was going to do some tests on this, but Spike and I figured that it might be fun if we had a movie night with you girls!”
“What’s a movie?” Rarity wanted to know.
“It’s the same thing as a tape, Rarity.” Spike explained airily.
“I see.”
“So yall’re goin’ ta watch this movie for our evenin' get together?" Applejack asked.
“Well, yes!” Twilight nodded. “I mean, if that’s OK with you guys.”
“Sure thing!” Rainbow Dash nodded.
“Why not?” Applejack consented.
“Of course.” Rarity nodded. "Oh, I do hope that we are portrayed correctly." She examined her picture closely.
"Aw, why'd that be a problem?" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
"Says the pony who couldn't even make it to the box art!" (Rainbow Dash huffed loudly and tossed her head)
"And why am I clinging to Applejack, it just is a rather demeaning posture...well, I don't know, we shall see."
“I'll do it if you want, Twilight.” Fluttershy said tentatively. “Oh-unless it’s scary. Is it scary?”
“Hmmm…” Twilight realized she had absolutely no clue.
She flipped the box over, looking for clues.
The box art read,
The Elements Of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle (Holly Lintstring) Fluttershy (Francis Whispwind) Rarity (Claribelle Ringer) Applejack (Apple Singer) and Pinkie Pie (Madella Lilies)
All star in this brand new adventure! After a brutal breakup, the gang must put their differences aside and solve one last friendship problem! But who is pulling the strings!?
Find out in Harmony’s Heroes!
YA-13
There were a list of a few more strange names on the bottom, and a short disclaimer.
“Well, it doesn’t seem to scary.” Twilight mused.
Fluttershy smiled. “Oh thank goodness. I'll do it then, Twilight.”
“So we get to do it?! YIPPEE! I’ll get popcorn! And cakes! And piecakes! And cupcakes! Yummyyumyum!” Pinkie Pie cartwheeled away. “You go
get it set up, girls!”
“OK, so what do we do now, Twi?” Applejack asked. “What do we do with that thingamajig?”
“Hmmm…” Twilight thought. "Rainbow, doesn't the town hall have an old projector that they sometimes let us borrow?"
“Well, we did have an old projector.” Rainbow Dash offered, before she remembered. “Before someone broke it anyway.” She gave Spike a hard look.
Spike blushed. “Sorry?”
“I thought you had it replaced.” Twilight said.
“I dunno, Twi…” Rainbow said. “I wanna see this thing and all, but the new projector is like brand new, and Mayor Mare would be really mad. The old one was different because it was on its last legs, but-”
“No, no, you misunderstand me, Rainbow. Where did you get the new projector?”
“Down the street from the dance studio-whoa!”
Five minutes later, Twilight sped back in with a brand new projector.
“Uh, Twilight?” Spike asked. “Isn’t this a little extreme for one little movie thing?”
“Oh, not at all, Spike!” Twilight beamed. “Think of all we can learn from this!”
Spike rubbed his forehead. Whenever Twilight got like this, things sometimes got rather...out of hand.
“Well, what are we waitin’ for! Let’s go!” Applejack shouted as Twilight carefully unwound the tape from the, well, tape, and began stringing it around the projector.
“Oooh, I’m so excited!” Pinkie squealed.
Maybe I'm just imagining it, Spike decided. What could go wrong?
MST: Mysteries Shouldn't Tickle
Are they, or aren't they?
The room darkened. Tense music began to play.
Large words appeared on the screen:
HARMONY’S HEROES
The view cut down so the ponies could see Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle standing in front of a dark cave.
“It’s us!” Was all Applejack could manage. “Well how about that?”
“Except for Rainbow Dash and I.” Rarity said. “Where are we?”
“It’s not quite us.” Fluttershy said, as the screen cut to Rarity, who was being held captive by Diamond Dogs. “I mean, it’s obviously supposed to be us, but you can tell that whatever is playing our parts isn’t exact copies.”
“So that rules out changelings.” Said Twilight, busily taking notes.
Applejack seemed to be the ones making calls.
“Fluttershy, fly above the Diamond Dogs!”
“Oh, dear, Oh, dear, do I have to?” Fluttershy whispered.
“Yes, Fluttershy.”
“But that’s where the big meanie-beanie Diamond Doggies are!” Pinkie pouted.
*“Pinkie, Fluttershy, Ah know yer scared but there’s nothin’ ta be done. Rarity’s in a pinch, and we need you two to stick to the plan.”*
Pinkie turned to Fluttershy. “Meanie Diamond Doggies?! Nooo!” She dove into her popcorn, submerging herself completely, poking her muzzled out a second later.
“Oh, dear. I hope nobody’s going to get hurt.” Real Fluttershy whispered.
“Don’t worry,” Said Applejack proudly. “Ah’m sure movie me knows what she’s doin’...Whatever she’s doin’.” She said, watching her film counterpart and Twilight putting up some sort of contraption.
“Alright Pinkie,” Twilight called. “It’s all up to you!”
“Do I have tooooo?”
“Yes.”
“But what about the meanie-beanie diamond doggies!?”
“Pinkie,” Twilight called.
“Whaaaaaaaaaaat?”
“I’ll give you a cupcake if you can do this.” Movie Twilight held up a cupcake. It was a very nice cupake, golden brown and moist, with perfectly proportioned pink frosting…
“YAY!” Pinkie shouted. She grabbed a stray rope hanging, swinging on it, setting what seemed to be the apple family ciderpress into motion, soaking the Diamond Dogs and Rarity.
Applejack frowned. “That's a waste of perfectly good cider.”
“And it will take her forever to get out of her coat!” Rarity groaned.
Movie Rarity acted as Real Rarity would-with disgust. The Diamond dogs backed away in confusion, stumbling on a tripwire that Applejack yanked, falling into some barrels which were then tightly kegged. The diamond dogs struggled, but to no avail.
“Well, isn’t that somethin’!” Applejack said, watching as her movie counterpart ran to Rarity and untied her.
“Oh, Applejack, thank you!” Rarity gave Applejack a big hug.
Applejack returned Rarity’s embrace and nuzzled her cheek . “Aw, it was nuthin.” She said, face going slightly pink.
Screech-
“Wait, wait, hold the phone.” Rainbow Dash called, stopping the projector. “Is it just me, or are they...with eachother?”
Twilight shrugged. “Well, they could be just flirting. But honestly, that is a bit odd... Applejack and Rarity aren’t dating as far as I can tell...are you guys?”
“Well now.” Rarity said, giving Applejack a coy look, “I can certainly think of worse ponies to be ‘With’.”
“Me too, Rarity.” Applejack said fondly, as Spike could be heard indignantly huffing from the side of the couch.
Twilight stared at them for a second, before pressing the Play button.
“EW, ARE THEY NUZZLING !?” Sweetie Bell could be heard on the floor above.
“Gross! Ah thought this was fer kids!”
Rarity chuckled. “Well, I do believe Sweetie and the others figured out how to use the projector.”
MST: Mysteries Shouldn't Tickle
Arguments and Other Assorted Oddness
"Well, that was a good job y'all! You did great! My plan worked perfectly, not to brag." Applejack said boastfully.
Twilight glared at her. "Well, it's a little too late for that," She answered snippily, "Because it wasn't your plan at all to begin with! I thought of it!"
Applejack looked at her. "Well, you did do the technical doohickeys I 'spose. Ah, on the other hand, saw it through from start to finish."
"Technical doohickeys?" Twilight muttered. "What is with her? Oh-No offense, Applejack."
"None taken, Twi." Applejack assured.
"Technical doohickeys?! What is with you?" Movie Twilight shouted. "Without those 'technical doohickeys' there would have been no plan! Then what would you have done, one of your silly rope tricks?" She scoffed.
Gasps heard from all around the room, and a few uncomfortable half-looks at Twilight.
"I enjoy Applejack's rope tricks! I respect Applejack's skill with the rope, OK?!"
"On second thought, Twilight, I'm not sure that I'm really liking this movie after all." Fluttershy squeaked. "I mean, it's just-ponies are being so-
" She whimpered softly and quieted. Rainbow Dash wrapped a comforting hoof around her shoulder.
"OK, everyone, let's just settle down." Movie-Fluttershy said, trying to make peace, but nobody could hear her.
"Oh, so ya don't like mah rope tricks, do ya?" Applejack snapped.
"All I'm saying is, Applejack, is that perhaps I want credit where credit is due." Twilight snapped back.
"Well, Twilight, ah think that you need to settle down a bit!"
"Applejack? Darling?" Rarity whispered. "Perhaps you ought to hear Twilight out?"
"That's a mighty fine idea." Applejack commented.
Her movie counterpart thought otherwise.
"Oh, so yer gonna take her side, are ya?" Applejack shouted.
Rarity shrunk back. "Well, er-"
Pinkie Pie squeaked. "Gummy, I don't like where this is going at all!"
"Everybody, please!" Fluttershy shouted. "Please, oh please don't fight! We don't have to be like this. You all play equally important roles in the matter. Applejack is the leader, Twilight is the smart one, and Rarity...Rarity…"
"I'm the mare who always gets in trouble!" Rarity wailed. "Why am I the one who always gets kidnapped! It's not fair! Can't someone else get a turn?"
"It's not our fault you're always getting kidnapped!" Twilight said. "If you want to stop being the useless one, then actually start helping and thinking for yourself!"
"That's it!" Rarity stomped her hoof. "If you can't appreciate me, then I am OUT of here!"
"No, Rarity, please don't go!" Fluttershy said. "We're friends, and friends stick together!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, darling. It's not you. It's just that if I have to spend one more second with those ruffians-" Rarity pointed a hoof at Twilight and Applejack. She stomped off.
"You know what? I'm outa here too!" Applejack stomped off.
"I guess this is goodbye." Twilight said coldly, ignoring the pleading looks Fluttershy gave her.
She spread her wings and flew off, leaving only Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. The party pony's hair was straight and her eyes were downcast.
Fluttershy turned to her friend, eyes wet with unshed tears. "I guess it's just us now."
Pinkie hung her head sadly.
The sad scene solemned the entire group.
Then...
"Wait a second." Twilight said. "I didn't get made the princess of Friendship to run away from issues like this!"
"Ah can't believe Ah'd be so unfair about who did what!" Applejack snorted. "Don't Ah know anythin' 'bout teamwork in this here tape?"
"Why do I have to be such a big mopey-wopey?" Pinkie huffed, crossing her arms.
"And where am I?" Rainbow Dash wanted to know. "Did I go AWOL or something?"
"How could we be so callous?" Rarity moaned. "And I do not always get kidnapped! There was one time with the Diamond Dogs, and I thought I handled myself quite well!"
"Maybe if we watch the rest of the movie we'll find out." Fluttershy suggested timidly.
The others heartily agreed.
"I certainly hope so!" Rarity responded.
"Knowing us, we'll have this figured out in a jiffy!" Twilight added confidently,
The screen darkened with the caption,
Many Moons Later
"Uh-Oh." Said Twilight, worried. "Maybe this will take a bit after all."
MST: Mysteries Shouldn't Tickle
Five Minutes Later
“It’s ready!” Twilight sang.
“OK, now what?” Asked Rainbow Dash.
“Now, we play it.”
“Play?” Applejack asked, confused. “I thought we were watchin’ a movie.”
“Do make up your mind, dear.” Rarity added.
“It’s terminology for-forget it. Everyone settled?”
Everyone nodded. Twilight positioned the projector infront of a bare wall, and extended her hoof to the On button…
But...
“Hey, Applejack!” A small voice cried. Applejack got up suddenly. “Applebloom?”
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were standing at the door, covered with grass stains and tree sap.
“We were wonderin’ if we could use the projector you have upstairs to watch this movie we found on the ground!” Sweetie Bell explained.
“G-Girls...how did you know that it was a movie?” Twilight asked, stunned. They hadn't gone through the portal, had they?
“Aw, shucks, it was easy! It said so right on the cover!” Apple Bloom explained.
Sweetie Bell used her magic to levitate their box up to their noses. Twilight looked closer. Below the Flashy title, in smaller, more ordinary print, were the words, A Movie.
“Oh…” Twilight blushed. “That’s how.”
“And then we saw the film inside and realized that it could work on a projector or something!”
“Please, Twi? Could we?” Apple Bloom begged. “We could get our projectorin’ cutie marks!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Said Rainbow Dash. “You had a perfectly good projector upstairs?!”
“Um,” Twilight blushed. “I forgot.”
“You forgot.” Applejack repeated.
"But hey, it all works out just fine!" Twilight reassured. "We have the projector I just bought down here, and the girls can play around with the other one up there!"
“But why don’t you watch it with us down here, Sweetie?” Rarity asked.
“That’s OK, sis! We wanna figure this out ourselves!” Sweetie Bell explained cheerfully.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PROJECTOR OPERATORS, YAY!” They scampered up the staircase.
Twilight shrugged. “Well, I don’t see why it would do any harm. Oh, I'm so excited!" She gasped. "Girls, this is going to be amazing! This literally a miracle of science, just you wait!"
"Sound's great! Let’s get this thing started!” Rainbow Dash whooped.
Twilight checked for any more signs of interruption, but none could be heard.
She took a deep breath and pressed On.
