The Taunting Life

by Rtrotten

Where Am I

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"Dang Carrot Top thank you for letting me come with you to this fancy party," Derpy said funnily.

Carrot Top's face went straight, "I didn't invite you, you took my letter and refused to give it me until I promised that you could follow me around for the next 24 hours."

Derpy leaned on Carrot Top as they walked through the halls of the Crystal Empire's castle, "Carrot Top the punch they had in the fancy crystal glasses is great," Derpy said hiccuping every few seconds.

Carrot Top stopped for a second so that she could slap her face with her hoof, "Derpy that was wine and you probably had a lot of it considering your buzz right now."

Derpy got a confused and worried frown, "Oh no I've never had that kind of punch before, does that mean I'm not a virgin anymore," Derpy said while a tear came from one of her eyes.

Carrot Top had to stop again to slap her face, "No Derpy you're still a vergin...from at least what I know." Derpy pushed herself to the side and off of Carrot Top as she took flight. Carrot Top jumped up to try to stop her but it was too late.

Derpy had found a very large chandelier above the hallway and was beginning to sit on it, "Carrot Top you should come up here it's fun," she said right before it started plummeting for the floor. Carrot Top could only look straight up as it came straight for her. Derpy held onto it and tried to slow it's decent but it was too late. As soon as it landed, it created a loud smashing sound. Carrot Top was sitting in a feeble position in the center of the round chandelier. Derpy decided that she would be fine and that she, herself, needed to find a bathroom.

When she found it she threw up in a toilet, "That punch was really bad." As she stumbled through the halls she found herself lost. She wondered into a dark room and found a lever when she pulled it the room lit up revealing a large mirror. Derpy went up and looked at herself, "I am looking perfect." She stopped to get a better and closer look when she tripped.. and fell into the mirror. When she stretched out her hoof to help herself up she felt different, "Where did that mirror go, Is there something different about me?" When she got up she was in front of some kind of building. Walking felt different and she couldn't even feel her wings. While still making progress towards the school two dark blue pillar things came in front of her and a really small long black snake, when she tried to go around them a starfish attached to another pillar thing moved into the way except this one was gray and a lighter shade of blue. "Starfish go away I'm trying to get to that building."

A voice from above commented with a small chuckle, "Who are you calling starfish and wouldn't it be a tiny bit easier to just stand up and walk." Derpy awkwardly looked up to a monkey like thing. Derpy sat down so that she could get a better look at it but her legs were broken.

Derpy started screaming uncontrollably at her legs while making movements with her arms towards her legs, "Help me my legs are broken," she shouted. Then at the realisation that her hooves were gone she started screaming about those too.

The monkey looked confused and concerned, it bent down and started poking her legs, "Does this hurt at all?" Derpy looked up and frowned with tears leaving her eyes, "No."

The monkey smiled now, "I don't think they are broken." Derpy explained to the monkey that her legs weren't bending correctly and that she had the same things that the monkey had on its hooves. The monkey laughed, "Let's get something straight I'm a human, not a monkey and you are a human too."

Derpy looked up at him with confusion, "I'm a what."