Chapter 1- Where the yam am I?
"Ah guh guh guh guh!"
Popeye laughed heartily after stopping Bluto yeah again.
Bluto groaned and slowly got up.
"I'll get you next time Popeye..." Bluto said, wiping some blood off his lip.
He limped away.
Popeye then flexed his muscles.
Why you may ask?
Cause he felt like it!
Popeye then started whistling.
He thought about what he wanted to do today.
Popeye thought hard.
Finally, he decided.
I'll get Olive a pony!
Where can I get a pony though?
Popeye scratched his head.
Suddenly a bright flash of purple light almost blinded Popeye.
"Help me Onlywand Kenpony... you're my only-"
"Oh sorry, wrong channel." The hologram disappeared
A blue wormhole ripped into Popeye's world.
He saw a purple pony and others fighting some gray pony.
The ponies fought hard but they were swiftly defeated.
The gray one taunted them.
"HA!"
"Your pain is delicious..." Sombra said, licking his lips slowly.
"Damn. I'm getting rock hard just thinking about it."
"And I'm not talking about my crystals either..." He said, smirking at them.
However, right before the purple one was knocked out she cried out.
"SOMEPONY, HELP US!" Twilight screamed in desperation, her voice cracking from the effort.
This made Popeye mad.
"I may not be a pony, but blow me down!"
"It looks like some ponies need..."
"POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN!" Popeye shouted with enthusiasm.
He was so awesome that his shirt tore itself to shreds.
This showed off Popeye's dynamite body.
Popeye then prepared himself for the journey.
He packed his spinach and took his trusty pipe with him.
Popeye left his house.
He walked until he was out of sight and then took the pipe out of his mouth.
Popeye held the pipe like a knife and started cutting the air in a circular motion.
His pipe started glowing red and tore a hole through his reality.
On the other side, Equestria was in ruins.
The countryside was scorched.
And Sombra ruled with a iron clad fist.
Building mass amounts of towers in his likeness.
Popeye frown and stepped through the portal to Equestria.
Everfree Forest:After Sombra got his anus kicked
Popeye stepped into the Everfree Forest.
Just then, a manticore appeared in front of Popeye and roared.
Popeye, being the person he is didn't take that well.
He punched the Manticore in the face.
The force of his punch was so strong the Manticore flew in the air for about 100ft.
It landed on the other side of the forest with a crash and huge amounts of dust flew into the air.
Popeye just laughed.
Three little ponies saw what he did though.
They whispered to each other in a nearby bush.
"Psst, Scootaloo did you see that?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Yeah, it was awesome!"
"But not as awesome as Rainbow Dash though."
"What is it though?" Apple Bloom asked.
"I've never seen any creature like that in the Everfree."
"Should we go up and ask it?" Sweetie Belle wondered.
"Nah... that would be dangerous." Apple Bloom said.
"C'mon, let's go back to the clubhouse."
The three tip hoofed their way back to Sweet Apple Acres.
Popeye turned around.
He thought that he heard a branch snap.
He scratched his head and shrugged.
Popeye continued his trek through the forest.
He beat the living shit out of the remaining creatures in the Everfree.
Then he approached Ponyville.
Ponies, naturally screamed and panicked.
All of the commotion brought the mane 6 to the center of Ponyville.
"What is that thing?" Rarity asked.
"I don't know but it's fugly." Applejack said.
"Hey! That's not nice!" Pinkie shouted, frowning.
"I'm just being honest!" Applejack retorted, her eyes bugging out.
"Well let's see if he's awesome!" Rainbow said fiercely, as she flew towards Popeye at a blindingly fast speed.
"SONIC RAIN- GAH!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she was slapped by Popeye.
She spiraled out of control into the horizon.
"I'LL OKAY!" Rainbow Dash shouted before she disappeared.
A mushroom cloud of dust was seen as she crashed.
"OH NO! RAINBOW DASH!" Twilight yelled, shocked at what just happened.
"Twilight, we're got bigger problems!" Rarity shouted as she pointed to Popeye.
Popeye then asked.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU PONIES NEED HELP!"
As he juggled a statue of Mayor Mare.
"Put that statue down!" Twilight shouted.
"We need help!" Applejack yelled, waving her hooves up and down spastically.
"OH!"
"You should have just said so earlier."
"Sorry for almost killing your friend and destroying this statue here." Popeye said, embarrassed.
"It's okay. Rainbow Dash is a bragging turd muffin anyway."
"Yeah, and Mayor Mare isn't really a good mayor." Applejack said, her face scrunching up into the absolute picture of honesty.
"I heard that you cretin." Mayor Mare muttered.
"Oh apples..." Applejack said, cursing her luck.
"So, what exactly do you need help with?" Popeye asked.
"We need help with-" Applejack began but was interrupted.
"Scary gray pony, crystals, slavery?" Popeye asked, as he rattled off Sombra's dictatorship.
"Basically..." Applejack said.
"He's still out there somewhere." Pinkie said.
"WELL HE BETTER PREPARE HIS ANUS."
"CAUSE POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!" Popeye declared.
"First, I'm going to take over Ponyville.." Sombra said.
"Then... I'll destroy this Popeye."
"Um.. shouldn't it be the other way around?" One of his servants wondered.
"Shut up! I'm the evil king here." Sombra said, sneering.
