This is the first fanfic I’ve written and stars a few ponies I have created myself. This is mostly a test for me and I really want to hear your opinion on it. Also to note is I don’t have English as a primary language, so my English might not be too well. Please give me a good review, or at least a constructive one.
“Spike, could you get me ‘Unusual star figures’ please?”
“Sure thing Twilight, do you have any idea about where it is? I don’t think I’ve seen it before.”
“Well, that’s strange. I thought you knew where every book is?” Twilight said, looking up from her book at the little purple dragon, searching around the shelves.
“I thought that as well, are you sure it’s a book that we have?” Spike said, climbing up the shelves, searching through the books.
“I’m quite sure, I saw it on the list of books we’ve received about a month ago.” Twilight said, starting to help the little dragon finding the book.
“What do you need it for any-“ Spike was saying, but he didn’t finish his sentence, seeing one of the steps on the old ladder broke under his feet, making him fall onto his back, shaking some shelves nearby. This caused a small cardboard box to fall to the ground from on top of one of the shelves, a few books falling out of it.
Twilight ran over to spike, helping him onto his feet. “Are you alright, Spike?” She said in a caring tone, making sure he wasn’t hurt.
Spikes eyes were still spinning, quite fast getting his balance and his eyes aligning again.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m alright, nothing a good na-, I mean… A good night’s sleep won’t fix.” He said, with a fake smile on his lips. “What about the box over there? I don’t think I’ve seen it before.”
“Oh, you’re right… I don’t think I’ve seen it before either.” Twilight said, a little sorry for the little dragon to fall on his back like that, though she trotted over to the box, using her magic to sit the box probably and started to look through the books to see if the book was one of them.
There it was! The book she had asked for, right under another book, apparently a part two of the same book. She picked up both of them, though she only felt the weight of one book.
When she placed the books on the table, she realized that one of the books only had the cover left of it, this being the Part two of it. “Aww… What I’m searching for might be in here…”
She read through the book, searching for what another book had referenced to, a phenomenon that would happen that night she hadn’t heard about before. A “Nebula outburst”. She first heard of it only 10 minutes ago and now she was sure that she wanted to see it for herself with all of her friends. It was supposed to be the sight of the century, but the chance of finding somepony who had seen one was minimal, seeing they’re very rare. She didn’t find anything though, but she found out that the reference was to part two, so she used hours looking for the pages that were supposed to be in there. Of course she didn’t manage to find them, so she was determined to go and look at it for herself.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
After Twilight had gathered all her friends, the only one giving trouble being Rainbow Dash since she thought she had better things to do than looking at the sky all night, it was almost noon, so they all made up their mind to meet 30 minutes later on a hill Twilight had handpicked for the occasion.
They had decided to make a little picnic out of it, so they had to each get some things to bring. Rarity of course would bring the cloth they were supposed to sit on. Applejack and Fluttershy would each bring some food. Pinkie Pie would bring dessert and, seeing she was Pinkie, she would also bring some balloons, her thinking they were going to have a small party. Rainbow Dash would bring something to drink, even though none of the others knew what she was going to bring for them to drink. Twilight, which had picked the spot, would only really bring equipment to look at the phenomenon.
They all went home to pick up the stuff and meet back at the hill at the destined time.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Twilight returned to her library to find her stuff, though before she was home, the night was already getting illuminated by the stars in the sky.
When she got to the library, she saw something she didn’t believe she would find. She found a basket, a cloth over it and a note stuck in it. At first, when she closed in on it, Twilight just thought it looked weird, but when she got completely close, she realized the cloth was moving. This of course made her worry, so she picked up the note and began to read it:
Dear owner of the Library
I have come to the conclusion that I am incapable of taking care of my sister after what is about to happen, so I left her to you, hoping you would either take care of her or take her to a place that she can actually live a normal life instead of how it is going to be with me.
She goes by the name of Snowy Sky, the name she was given by our mother before she passed away on a winter night. I hope you’ll do the right thing with my sister and that you can make the right decisions.
Best regards
As Twilight read through the letter, she got more and more worried. And even more worried when she realized there was no name attached to the letter, so there was no saying who left it. She had just been given the responsibility of a filly. She grabbed the basket with her teeth, lifting it up and walked inside the library, putting the basket down and walked upstairs. All the while she stated silent, seeing the filly was asleep and she didn’t want to wake it.
Up the stairs, she saw Spike in his bed, taking another nap. She gently poked him to try and wake him up, but being the sleepy kind that he is, he didn’t wake up at start. This made her poke him somewhat harder, seeing she needed him awake for this situation. He still didn’t wake up, so she had to almost stomp her hoof down into his stomach to wake him up. Of course this made him wake up almost instantly and let out a great scream of pain. Though loud, it only lasted for a very short while, seeing Twilight stuffed his pillow up against his face to muzzle the scream. Of course she didn’t like doing this, but she didn’t want to wake the little filly downstairs.
After the pillow was removed, Spike looked at Twilight and spoke: “Ouch… What’s the matter Twilight?” That’s all he was allowed to say though, because right after, Twilight hushed him, telling what had happened in a quiet tone.
“We’ve got a visitor… A… Small visitor… I think she’s going to stay for a while though… “ This came out the wrong way apparently, seeing Spike got all worried and thought somepony had gotten hurt.
“Is she alright?” Spike said, obviously confused.
“She’s fine… I think. She’s downstairs sleeping.” Twilight replied, still in a low tone.
“Can I see her?” Spike asked back, wondering what their visitor was looking like.
“Alright, let’s take a look at her” Twilight replied, actually remembering that she herself hadn’t even seen the little filly, all she knew was that it was a girl out from the letter.
Both of them went down to see to the filly, not sure of what to expect.
When they got down to the table where Twilight left the basket, they saw that the basket had fallen over, the cloth was on the ground and the little filly was nowhere to be seen.
Twilight started panicking pretty fast. “Oh no! Where did she go!?” She shouted out loudly.
Spike of course tried to calm her “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s still in here somewhere.” He was positive about this, seeing he didn’t hear the door open and he knew none of the windows were either.
They started looking, but after 5 minutes, Twilight was about to give up. Then, the second after she gave up, she heard a giggle from above. She looked up and saw some black and white striped hair, disappearing up on a shelf behind some books. The shelve was in height for Twilight to look up at if she stood on her back legs, so she leaned against the bookcase, looking up at the shelf. Twilight looked behind the books, though, she didn’t find anything, but a little sod.
“Spike… I think we have to do with a unicorn.” She said, knowing that some uncontrolled magic leaves sod. “And I think we have to hurry finding her.” Now she got down from the ladder, landing safely on the floor before something landed on her back rather light.
“Did you find her yet Spike?” She asked, thinking it was Spike who had landed on her back, slowly turning her head around to look at him.
Her eyes weren’t met by Spike’s green lizard eyes though, they were met by some pale gray eyes without any pupils, looking directly into hers with a sad frown on her face.
“I’m hungry” The little filly said, still looking at Twilight.
Twilight just stood there, wondering what in Celestias name had just happened.
Spike then got down from upstairs, shaking his head, seeing he couldn’t find the little filly. “I’m sorry Twilight, but she seems to- Oh! You found her!” he said as he sees the little filly, hugging Twilights back.
The filly was small, not a unicorn, but actually a pegasi with a dark blue, almost black coat, her mane being an array of white and black stripes, flowing down her body and her tail being entirely black only discolored by a few white strands of hair at the end of the tail.
The sod behind the books was a failed spell Twilight had done some days earlier but forgotten all about.
Twilight looked over at spike and then out at the window, remembering that she had plans in just a few minutes that she couldn’t just skip. “Oh sweet Celestia… And I promised to bring Spike too…” She thought, unsure of what to do.
Then it hit her.
She could bring the filly with her. She was obviously big enough to play with herself and the others might be glad to see such a little filly. She just needed to pack her stuff and set off quickly.
“Spike, pack some stuff, we’re going somewhere tonight.” She said, the filly just looking at her for a second before shouting. “But I’m hungry now!”
“Don’t worry, we’ll get you some food soon.” Twilight said, hoping it would make the filly calm down.
This made Twilight hurry with packing the stuff she needed, the filly stuck to her back the entire time. Even when Twilight tried to remove the filly so she could get the saddlepack on, the filly held on as if glued to Twilights back.
Finally after a few minutes twilight got out of the door, spike walking beside her and the little filly on her back, scowling at the purple dragon. This made Spike keep his distance from the little filly, though of course Twilight couldn’t see a thing, since the filly was on her back.
