Asparagus

by Melon Collie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Drama, Rarity, Other
Length: 2533

One of Rarity's less-than-generous moments has come back to bite her. But it's not entirely about the last bundle of asparagus....

Rarity is well-regarded for her generosity. But let's face it, this unicorn isn't always generous. In fact, she can be manipulative and inconsiderate sometimes.

One pony who's seen that side of her firsthoof is back for recompense. But a deeper look suggests that this below-average stallion is hiding some well-above-average emotion.

And it's not about that last bundle of asparagus....

Cover art by Emerald Ray

Published 2016-05-23 05:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-23 05:40:01 UTC

Chapter 1

“Thanks so much, Rarity! You’re the best!”

Rarity smiled as Bon-Bon modeled her new dress in the mirror inside Carousel Boutique. “Oh, darling, no need to be flattering!” she said. “Though, it does help, you know.” She winked, and Bon-Bon giggled.

“I know the extra stitching was a lot to ask,” Bon-Bon said as she slipped out of the rose-colored gown, “but I needed it to be special for Lyra—”

“Oh, no need to explain,” Rarity replied. “It was a pleasure to make the change.”

“You know, I can still pay extra—”

“Ahh, tut-tut! I’ll not have that! Same price as listed,” Rarity declared. “Final word on the matter.”

Bon-Bon went starry-eyed. “Wow...Rarity, I...I don’t know what to say....”

“Oh, I’m sure Lyra will love it!” Rarity beamed. “Anything for a pair of devoted friends like yourselves!”

As Rarity took back the dress long enough to fold it up and place it in a box, Bon-Bon’s eyes went from starry to misty. “I...I don’t know what to say...you’re so generous—”

“Generous? Ha! Yeah, right!”

Both mares turned to the cracking voice of a scrawny, off-white stallion with an acne-ravaged face, taped-up glasses, and a massive overbite. His narrowed eyes were fixed on Rarity, and seemed to quiver in their sockets.

Rarity’s own eyes widened. “Oh, dear...um, well, Bon-Bon, just let me know if Lyra enjoys her gift, and if she needs it refit, feel free to bring it back.”

Glancing between Rarity and the angry little stallion, Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow, then took the box, placed it in her saddlebag, and slowly walked away.

“Tell me,” the little stallion spoke up as Bon-Bon passed him, his eyes never leaving Rarity, “which stallion did she bribe to make that for you?”

Her mouth wavering, Bon-Bon took one last glance between the two before tipping away. The bell of the shop door rang, and Rarity was alone with the angry stallion.

“Umm, well...” Rarity muttered, rocking in place under the livid stare of the stallion, “I would be upset about you shooing off one of my customers, but...you seem rather...miffed, yourself, Mr....Mr.....”

“You don’t even remember me,” the stallion scoffed. “Color me shocked.”

“Well, of course I remember you,” Rarity huffed. “I just...well...I don’t retain the finer details of all of my customers....”

“I’m not one of your customers,” he said coldly. “If anything, you were one of mine.”

Rarity kept rocking on the spot. “Well...um...is there something I can help you with, then?”

The stallion dug into the front pocket of his shirt and pulled out a bit. “Yes, there is,” he spat. “You...ahem...‘reimbursed’ me for a bunch of asparagus last week. I’m here to collect.”

There was a cumbersome silence as Rarity thought back to last week. Fluttershy’s trip to the market, her trouble standing up to other ponies, her participation in Iron Will’s seminar, her new bullying attitude: not many good memories among them.

“Ah, yes...” Rarity mumbled, glancing at the floor. “That...well, darling, I was just try—”

“Don’t call me that,” the stallion cut her off. “You didn’t mean it then, and you don’t mean it now.”

Taken aback, Rarity made the effort to recover. “Well, as I was saying, I was trying to help a friend stand up for herself.”

“Commendable,” he replied with a frown, “but teaching her to manipulate ponies is not exactly responsible, now is it?”

“Why, I take offense to that, sir! I asked a favor, and you were kind enough to deliver!”

“Asking a favor of me when you hardly know me, and implying the promise of a favor in return that you had no intention of delivering yourself. Still wrong.”

“Oh, please,” Rarity sniffed, feeling her foothold weakening. “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of sweet-talking every now and then.”

The stallion snorted mirthlessly. “Ask yourself this question, Rarity. If you hadn’t flirted with me, would I have still given you what you wanted?” He watched as Rarity wrinkled her brow and put a hoof to her chin, and after a few seconds of no answer, he sneered. “I didn’t think so.”

“Well, that’s not very fair, now is it?!” Rarity shot back. “I paid you for the asparagus!”

“You could have paid the pony at the stall.”

“It was the last one!”

“You could have waited for more.”

“I told you, my friend needed it!”

“Then she could have waited.”

“But you don’t know Fluttershy like I do. She wouldn’t have been able to—”

“I don’t care,” the stallion spoke up, his voice rising a hair. “If she’s as much of a spineless doormat as I was, she was saying no to the wrong pony. Whoever that asparagus was for can go suck on a carrot for all I care. Me....” He held out the bit in his hoof. “I want my asparagus.”

Rarity heaved a huffy sigh, and gathered herself as only a lady could. She walked slowly over to the stallion and batted her eyelashes. “Oh, come now,” she said in a subdued, amorous tone, “I’m sure there’s a way to settle this. I mean, you are an intelligent stallion, right? I do admire a wellspring of intellect like yours, you know. Perhaps we could...” she stroked his shoulder, “...work something out in a...” her face moved in close to his ear, “...more enlightening way....”

Scowling, the stallion pressed a hoof to Rarity’s chest and gently, but firmly, pushed her away. “Not this time,” he bit back. “I leave this bit here, and I leave with my asparagus. And no amount of ‘sweet-talking’ will change my mind.”

“Oooh!” Rarity growled, stamping a hoof. “If this cursed vegetable is so important to you, why don’t you just go buy more?!”

The stallion’s scowl only worsened. “You don’t even know, do you...you flirt and you charm...you lie and deceive and manipulate...you claim to do it for your friends, but you don’t care about the ponies you leave behind, do you? You don’t think or care about their feelings at all. I bet you don’t even know my name....”

“Of course I do!” Rarity said, affronted. “It’s...well, it’s...umm...Gyro?”

“Gizmo!” the stallion yelled. “Gizmo! My name is Gizmo! But you wouldn’t know, would you? All I am to you is somepony with something you want. You claim to be some model of generosity, but the truth is, you steal just as much as you give, and that makes all your generosity moot!”

Rarity’s face contorted with rage and stayed that way for a good few seconds. She then enveloped the stallion’s bit with her magic, turned her head and pointed her horn at the other side of the boutique. The bit disappeared, and a bundle of asparagus appeared in its place.

“Here!” Rarity growled, holding out the vegetable to him in her magic. “Honestly, all this trouble over asparagus! I never cared much for it in the first place!”

Gizmo stared at it, about to take it until he heard Rarity’s words. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” he snapped.

Rarity scoffed, her mouth falling open. “Excuse me?!”

“All this time, and you still think that’s what this whole thing is about.”

“Oh for the love of Celestia, you have your stupid asparagus, Gyro, now take the blasted thing and off with you!”

“This is not about the asparagus, Rarity!!” Gizmo roared. “It’s the principle of the matter! You manipulated me! Played me like a harp! And you had no right! You expected a stranger to do you a favor after a little flirting and didn’t expect to consider how that stranger might feel about your emotional bribery! You didn’t care then and you don’t care now! You still can’t even get my name right! It’s Gizmo, darn you!! GIZMO!!”

Gizmo panted and stood on shaky legs as he burned Rarity with his enraged stare. Rarity’s eyes were dinner-plate wide, and her voice died for that few minutes they stood there, staring each other down in silence (save Gizmo’s breathing). It took Rarity all that time to build up a vicious counter-argument in her mind, but before she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes fixated on Gizmo’s for a moment. And she realized that, despite the rage in them, his eyes were misting over.

“Do you really think of me this way?” Rarity asked softly. “Do you really see me as some kind of monster?”

Finally having caught his breath, Gizmo’s gaze drifted down to the floor. “Not really a monster,” he muttered. “You just don’t think before you act.”

“But why? Why is this so important to you? After a week, why did you find the gumption to come back?”

Gizmo sighed, still staring at the floor. “Because you don’t know what it’s like...being ignored and passed up by mares even if you’re the only stallion in the room...knowing they’d ignore you even if you were the only stallion in the world...knowing that any mare that acts friendly is either crazy, cruel or...or just...wants something....” His words became choppy and his eyes squeezed shut as the tears finally fell.

Rarity sat down and pressed a hoof against the twinge of pain in her chest. “I...I had no idea...I really did just want to help my dear friend, but...I didn’t...I didn’t think—w-wait! Where are you going?”

Gizmo turned and made for the door, sniffling. “I’m sorry, Rarity,” he mumbled through tears, “I never should have come here. You really were just helping your friend. That’s why it took me a week to get up the courage to come here. I knew you wouldn’t want somepony like me raising Tartarus in your shop, bothering customers, over something so silly that you did end up paying me back for anyway...I mean, you’re a hero in this town...I’m a nopony...just...just keep the asparagus. I have to go....”

Gizmo trudged back to the door of the boutique, but his hoof nearly touched the door when he stopped. Rarity had followed, and her hoof now touched his shoulder.

“Don’t go,” she said, pressing her hoof gently into his shoulder as if it would keep him there. “Please.”

Gizmo kept his head turned away. “I have to...it wasn’t right to come here and act like this….”

“But you were right,” Rarity soothed. “You may have been out of line with the way you said it, but you were right. I just never realized before today how...how utterly sneaky I can be....”

“Don’t beat yourself up.”

“No, no, it’s true,” Rarity pressed. “What you said was...well...it was....” She then gave a small gasp and held out the small bundle of green. “It’s like asparagus!”

Gizmo finally turned his head; he arched an eyebrow and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his snout. “Come again?”

“Indeed! You see, asparagus isn’t exactly appealing at first glance. In fact, many ponies will testify that it’s downright horrid! But it is good for you, all things considered. Much like your...words....”

There was another weighty pause in which neither pony spoke. Gizmo sighed, breaking the silence, but the moment resumed. The air of hesitation was palpable, as if both parties were afraid to act for some unspoken reason.

Rarity turned her head and pointed her horn deeper into the boutique, and Gizmo’s bit materialized in front of her. “Keep the bit.” She held it out to him in her magic.

“No, please,” Gizmo replied, shaking his head, “I wanted to do this fairly. Besides, after the way I acted, I don’t even deserve it. I shouldn’t have blown up on you the way I did—”

“No, it’s what I needed to hear,” said Rarity. “Besides, when all’s said and done, I believe this is fair, darling.”

“Please, don’t...don’t call me that....”

Rarity pressed a hoof to his mouth. “I mean it this time,” she almost whispered it. She tucked both the asparagus and the bit into Gizmo’s front pocket. “You know, I admire the courage it took to bring you here. The way you’ve lived life, feeling so alone...to stand up for yourself like this...I must admit, it’s rather impressive....”

“I was a total jerk....”

“Oh you mustn’t sell yourself short, Gizmo. You have more to offer than you realize. Even if it is just a bundle of asparagus to help a desperate mare.” Rarity giggled, and soon, Gizmo followed suit, chuckling with an occasional snort. “There now, was that so hard?” Rarity teased, touching a hoof to his chin. “You may not think so now, but someday that adorable smile will make some mare very happy.”

Gizmo glanced up at Rarity, his smile never fading. “You...mean that?”

“Of course, Gizmo darling. And until then, I’d be happy to help you be more confident in yourself.”

He gulped. “Does that...does that make us...friends?” His grin was complimented well by the tinge of red in his cheeks.

“Absolutely!” Rarity announced. “And I treat my friends with respect. So, for you, Gizmo darling, a half-off discount on...wait...your bow tie! Weren’t you wearing one that day?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Gizmo replied, nodding. “I ditched the look. I mean, it’s kind of embarrassing to have your tie spinning around when a pretty mare is flirting with you....”

“Oh!” Rarity squealed, a blush starting to tinge her face, as well. “You think I’m pretty? Why, you’re something of a flirt yourself, you sly little devil!” She winked, and Gizmo chuckled, a bit unsteadily. “Well then,” she continued, more professionally, “allow me to bring you in for a fitting or two. I’m sure I have something in stock that will match your ensemble much better! Maybe even bring out your eyes a bit from behind those dreary glasses.”

Gizmo’s grin seemed a permanent fixture now. “I’d...I’d like that.”

“Marvelous!” Rarity cheered. “Well then, same time Tuesday?”

“Yeah,” said Gizmo, nodding again. “That would be nice.”

“Indeed, darling. Ooh! Here, let me walk you out. Be back in a tick!” And Rarity sped back inside, grabbed something off of a hanger with her magic, and stepped behind a folding screen in the middle of the room.

“Uhh, Rarity?” Gizmo said, perplexed. “The door’s right here. There’s no need to...walk me out....”

“Oh, it’s quite all right, darling!” Rarity’s voice piped up from behind the screen. “Besides, your visit today has reminded me of someone else whose forgiveness I must ask for.” The screen folded up, and Rarity stood on the other side in a gorgeous royal purple evening gown.

If Gizmo had been wearing a bow tie, it would have lifted him off the ground.

“Wow...” he muttered as she trotted briskly up to him. “All that just to apologize to somepony?”

“Well, there are no rules that say I can’t look absolutely fabulous while doing so, are there?” Rarity chirped, batting her eyes coquettishly. “I simply feel there was more I could have done to glamorize my epiphany. A wasted opportunity I shan’t be missing again! Besides,” she added, “this isn’t really an apology for somepony, per se....”

Gizmo was about to ask, until Rarity directed his attention to the necklace she wore. He looked down, and saw, set in a gold frame, was a magnificent fire ruby.

“This,” Rarity said longingly, “is his asparagus....”