Everypony Wants to Kiss Fluttershy

by BlndDog

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Starlight Glimmer, Fluttershy
Length: 2341

Something weird is happening at the Hearths Warming Eve party.

Hearths Warming Eve is one of the few times of years when Fluttershy comes out of her shell. Everypony is happy, and nopony paid her any special attention. But this year something is distressingly different.

Published 2016-05-18 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-18 03:40:01 UTC

MMMMMUH!

Something was amiss.

Fluttershy had not noticed it earlier in the evening, distracted as she was by all the singing and dancing, the food and drink, and catching up with old friends. Hearths Warming Eve was perhaps the only time of year when she enjoyed the company of so many ponies. They noticed her, but they never put her on the spot. They weren’t rude or pushy, and seemed genuinely happy to have her around, her mere presence adding to the festive atmosphere no more and no less than anypony else's.

But this time something was different.

She glanced at the big crystal clock above the entrance of the main hall. It was only five past ten. She sniffed her half mug of hot cider. It was no stronger than the usual brew. But try as she may, she could not make herself feel at ease.

A few paces away Rarity was talking with Aloe and Lotus Blossom. The two masseuses, each with a mug of cider, chatted enthusiastically, but as Fluttershy watched she noticed them glancing in her direction periodically. The look in their eyes was disconcerting. She thought she saw Lotus fluttering her eyelashes at her at one point.

Oh dear…

It was not the drink or the lateness of the evening. The room didn’t feel too warm. She didn’t feel tired. And the night hadn't started off so bad. Perhaps it was something she ate… or something they ate…

“H… hello there.”

Fluttershy jumped, nearly spilling her drink. She sank back to the floor before anyone else got suspicious, but she had a sinking feeling that it was much too late for that.

A blue-green stallion in a red scarf was leaning on the table, striking his best pose. He was from out of town; somepony’s brother or cousin, probably. Fluttershy’s blush stretched nearly to the base of her neck.

The stallion giggled and extended a hoof.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners? I’m Breakaway. I’m from Vanhoover, just visiting family in Ponyville. I couldn’t help but notice…”

He was cut short when a toque was suddenly pulled down over his face. Unfortunately this did not ease Fluttershy’s rapidly-growing discomfort.

“Have some manners, you!” A light blue earth pony mare scolded, stepping into view from behind him. “You’re leaving in two days! Keep to yourself for once!”

The stallion managed to push the toque off his face and turned to leave, looking rather thoroughly annoyed. Fluttershy was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she felt a hoof across her shoulders.

“I’m sorry for my brother,” the new mare said, mouthing something to Breakaway when he turned back to look at them. She smiled at Fluttershy. “He’s a bit of a troublemaker. I can tell he’s not your type. Heck, I don’t think he’s anypony’s type.” She pulled Fluttershy closer.

At that moment, perhaps sensing her friend’s distress, Rarity looked over her shoulder. Fluttershy made eye contact, and sent her the signal.

Three blinks.

One cheek twitch.

Silently mouth the word “help” in an exaggerated manner.

Rarity came over with a knowing smile on her face. The mare holding Fluttershy was too busy sizing up her hostage to notice her.

“Excuse me,” said the pure white unicorn, flicking her lustrous mane out of the way. “I need to have a word with my friend here. Could you...?”

That seemed to do the trick. Breakaway’s sister blinked, and looked quickly to Fluttershy. Longing still lingered in her gaze, but she released the pegasus and took a tiny step away. Rarity quickly grabbed her friend and led her through the crowd and up the stairs. All the while Fluttershy felt more and more eyes boring into her.

They went into the library, leaving the door ajar to let a little light in. Fluttershy was still shaken, and the two sat without speaking for some time, listening to the muffled sounds of the party downstairs.

“Those ponies giving you a hard time, darling?” Rarity asked.

“It’s… no…” Fluttershy looked down at her hooves. “Rarity, have you noticed anypony acting really strange tonight?”

“Not especially, dear,” Rarity said after a quick glance outside. “A party as big as this is bound to bring out some eccentricity in all of us, don’t you think?”

“I suppose you’re right…” Fluttershy said. The calm of the library had soothed her nerves considerable. She took a deep breath. “Thanks, Rarity. I guess I’m just feeling a little up tight.”

She pushed open the door. A grey blur zoomed into the room, sending her flying backwards into a bookshelf.

“MMMMMMUH!”

The grey pegasus rose unsteadily. He barely glanced at Rarity, who was staring slack-jawed at the mess.

“Happy Hearths Warming Eve, Fluttershy!” He said gleefully, and retreated back to the main hall before either of the mares could speak.

Fluttershy was frozen in posture as Rarity lifted her out of the rubble of the bookshelf. The latter closed the door with her magic and piled a few heavy volumes against it.

“You might be right after all,” she said, staring nervously at the door. “It’s alright, Fluttershy. I’m sure you can slip out one of these windows. I’m so sorry your night ended like this…”

Rarity was interrupted by the sound of a new spell. Quickly she stepped between Fluttershy and the door, where her barricade was glowing pink. The books rose smoothly, sliding sideways just enough to clear the way.

“Fluttershy, are you alright?”

Rarity let out a sigh of relief as the pink unicorn stepped into the room.

“What’s going on?” Starlight asked, craning her neck to look past Rarity. “I saw you two come up here, and then…”

Her eyes widened when Fluttershy raised her head.

“What’s that behind your ear?”

“What?” Rarity said, turning her head between Fluttershy and Starlight. “That hairpiece? Why, it’s just holly!”

“Holly has red berries!” Starlight said, pointing at Fluttershy in exasperation. “That… that’s a mistleholly!”

“A what?” Rarity cocked her head, leaning in to examine the piece. Fluttershy cowered even lower, her chin resting against the floor.

“It’s an ancient type of magical charm,” Starlight said. “One of the earliest. It… It shouldn’t be here. Where did you get it from?”

“I…” Rarity averted her eyes. “It was in one of the wreaths! I thought it looked nice, and…”

“Alright,” Starlight said, closing the door behind her and moving a whole bookshelf to block it. “I’ll have a word with that wreath-maker in the morning. Ponies these days… how is anypony still alive?

“Okay, This isn’t the worst thing ever. The mistleholly isn’t a particularly powerful charm. Nothing like the Alicorn Amulet or the Goblet of Posies. It’s one of the few charms created by earth ponies, if accidentally. The story goes that…”

“Eh, right,” Rarity interrupted. “Maybe you should tell us what this mistleholly does?”

Fluttershy nodded eagerly. She was glancing over her shoulder every few seconds, starting at every noise.

“I thought you’d figured it out by now,” Starlight said.

“It makes ponies love each other?”

“No!” Starlight snapped. “Some mistletoe berries strung to a holly branch can’t make ponies fall in love! Love is high magic! The mistleholly only makes ponies want to kiss.”

“I beg you pardon?”

“Kiss!” Starlight said, puckering her lips as a visual aid. “It’s not really love. Just kissing. That’s all it does.”

“So if that brute already kissed Fluttershy,” Rarity said, rubbing her chin. “The spell should be broken, right?”

Whatever hope Fluttershy gleaned from that possibility was promptly dashed by Starlight’s next words.

“It’s not a spell, Rarity,” she said. “The mistleholly’s power corresponds to the number of berries it has.” With a pop she teleported to Fluttershy’s side and squinted at the hairpiece. “This one has three. How many ponies have you kissed tonight?”

Fluttershy turned bright red once again.

“One,” Rarity said, coming to her rescue. “That stallion just now was the only one, right?”

Fluttershy nodded, hiding behind her flowing pink mane.

“Well, two more shouldn’t be hard,” Starlight said. “Come on.”

“She will do no such thing!” Rarity said, grabbing Starlight before she could leave. “That’s scandalous! Uncouth! Barbaric! You’re a powerful unicorn! Don’t you know of a counter spell? Or can’t she just take it off? It’s just a charm; it shouldn’t work if you’re not wearing it, right? Or she can go home for tonight! Nopony will be trying to kiss her if there’s nopony around!”

“Rarity, any of those things could work,” Starlight said with a sigh. “It’s just… The mistleholly is an ancient charm. More magic could make it worse. Most ponies just wore it for Hearths Warming Eve parties, and spent its magic in an hour or two. Nopony knows if it wears off or not because nopony kept one around for very long. It’s safest to just find two more ponies to kiss.”

“Well…” Rarity bit her lip, her eyes darting around the room. “We’re two ponies!”

Fluttershy reared back her head in alarm. Starlight too was caught off guard.

“We’re two ponies! You and me!” Rarity said, gesturing to Starlight. “Do you think…”

“No!” Starlight interrupted, shaking her head vigorously. “Rarity, it doesn’t work that way! Tell me, are you feeling a strong urge to kiss anypony right now?”

Rarity was shaking now. She looked over to Fluttershy, who stared back fearfully.

“No.” She sighed, bowing in defeat. “No, I guess it won’t work.”

“The charm doesn’t work on close friends and family,” Starlight explained, putting a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder and looking her in the eyes. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. You, of all ponies. But when it comes to magic charms, it could me much, much worse.”

“Not helping,” Rarity said through gritted teeth.

Fluttershy stared back hopelessly, with tears welling up in her eyes.

“Or maybe it couldn’t be worse,” Starlight said quietly.

The moment was interrupted by a loud crash at the door that rattled the bookshelf. All three mares jumped.

“Fluttershy?”

It was Derpy.

“Fluttershy, are you feeling alright? Why did you leave?”

And others.

“Quick! Kiss her!”

Rarity smacked her lips against Fluttershy’s nose. The latter kept her lips pursed and squeezed her eyes shut.

“That’s not going to work!” Starlight said.

The bookcase shook again. Shards of crystal rained down from the ceiling.

“Come on out!” Called a male voice. “It’s such a great night!”

“Have another cider!”

The three backed away, Rarity supporting the frightened pegasus, who had shielded her face with her wings.

“I have an idea,” Starlight stammered. “Close your eyes.”

Fluttershy hadn’t seen anything past the first impact on the door. For a second her vision flashed red, and her skin tingled.

Her next breath drew in a familiar earthy scent. The air around her was damper and a little cooler than that in the library, its sterility replaced with the smells of nature.

“Oh… my eyes…”

“I warned you,” Starlight hissed.

The dying embers of the hearth cast a soothing red right across the interior of the cottage. A knot of ferrets were sleeping in a basket. All the birds had their heads tucked behind their wings.

A bleary-eyed Angel Bunny looked up from a salad bowl, wearing a moustache and toupee made of hay.

“Just one more spell,” Starlight said quietly.

Her horn flashed so quickly that none of the animals noticed. A luminous purple bubble appeared momentarily outside the window, fading quickly back into thin air leaving only a line in the deep snow.

“It’s a warding spell,” she said. “That should protect you. But just in case, I’ll spend the night here.”

“I’m staying too,” Rarity said, putting a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. She looked at Starlight apologetically. “I’m so sorry, dear. This is your first Hearths Warming Eve in Ponyville. Your first proper Hearths Warming party. You should be at the castle making friends.”

Fluttershy breathed deeply. Angel Bunny hopped to her side and hugged her knee. She picked him up and held him like an infant. Noticing the leaves in her mane, he stood up and reached for the mistleholly. She reached for it with one hoof. Angel would know better than to eat it. She wanted the thing off her body.

“Don’t take that off,” Starlight said before Fluttershy could fully untangle the stem from her mane. “It’s safer this way.”

Fluttershy looked down at Angel.

“It’s my fault,” she said quietly. “I should go back.”

“Oh nonsense!” Rarity said, waving away the notion like a fly.

“You were both having so much fun,” Fluttershy insisted, looking up pleadingly. “Now you’re both here because I couldn’t…”

“Darling, nopony has to kiss anypony,” Rarity said. “It’s just a dumb charm! You don’t have to do anything just because it wants you to. Now, there’s still plenty of time tonight. Why don’t we put some logs in that hearth and have ourselves a Hearths Warming Eve slumber party?”

The animals woke from the fire, but most were happy to see the ponies. Soon they were sitting around the table sharing stories over hot chocolate and fighting the cats for cookies. The mistleholly was quickly forgotten. Nopony noticed it withering as twelve became one became two, leaves turning brown and berries withering to raisins hard as stone.

Laurel Wreath blew his nose into his new handkerchief. Hearths Warming Eve was the best time for business, and with a princess in town his service was in especially high demand for the past season.

He had just doffed his jacket when the door opened. Most unusual on the day after Hearths Warming Eve, when most ponies were still sleeping off last night’s cider. He was only in the shop to check on a clerical error that had been gnawing at the back of his mind all night.

He instantly recognized the pink mare as Twilight Sparkle’s student. Without invitation she marched to the counter and slapped down a hoofful of crushed leaves and dried brown berries.

The front door closed on its own.

“We need to talk.”