Wrong Way on a One Way Track
Author's Note
This story is dark and depressing.
I've written this for one reason and one reason only: to purge a lot of pent-up hostility, frustration, and irritation that's been festering for a week or so. It's better to purge this kind of thing in a controlled explosion than to self-destruct by blowing up at other people for no reason (which I have admittedly been doing lately.) This is the darkest, ugliest thing I've ever written and I hate it. But I needed to write something like this to purge myself.
Dont' read too much into the themes in this story. None of this is a personal account. This is just me being dark for the sake of being dark.
Wrong Way on a One Way Track
"Now that we've met the other me, I'm curious: Where's the other you?"
Sunset Shimmer blinked at her friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle. The two of them were alone by the portal; it was late evening, and everyone else had gone home.
Sunset's mouth worked soundlessly for a moment. "I...I'm not sure," she said. "I honestly never thought about her before."
"Maybe we should try to find her," Twilight suggested. "I mean, before she just randomly shows up out of nowhere like the other Twilight apparently did."
"Hmm..." Sunset frowned. "Well, we've got tomorrow off from school, so it's a three-day weekend. I was just gonna hang with the girls, but I guess I could go looking for my counterpart."
"We can go looking for her," Twilight said with a gentle smile. "I would never ask you to do this alone. Besides," she added softly, "after everything I've just been through with Starlight Glimmer, I could use a little break from princess stuff."
Sunset nodded. "Alright. You can sleep over at my place tonight, then tomorrow we'll see if we can find the other Sunset."
* * * * *
The next morning, Sunset searched the Internet for her own name. She pretty much expected most of the results to be about her, the pony turned human, and all related to Canterlot High School. After a half hour of searching, she couldn't find anything about another Sunset Shimmer. "Ugh," she groaned, planting her face on her desk. "Well, wherever she is, she's keeping a low profile."
Twilight frowned. "Maybe...try to find your family? I mean, her family?"
Sunset looked up at her thoughtfully. "That's not a bad idea." Taking a deep breath, she turned back to her computer and typed 'Sunset Satin' into the search engine.
After a few minutes' work, she had an address in Fillydelphia. She glanced at Twilight. "Feel up for a train trip?"
Twilight nodded, smiling.
It was past lunchtime when the two girls got off the train in Fillydelphia. Twilight gawked around at the huge, gray, gritty city around them. They stopped at a small corner deli for a bite of lunch and directions, then made their way to a slightly run-down neighborhood. A dingy little yellow house with acrylic siding, a shabby roof, and a lawn that was overtaken by crabgrass greeted them. Exchanging a look, they walked up to the door and knocked.
The rose-haired woman who answered the door was probably once beautiful, but she'd developed premature wrinkles, sunken cheeks, and her eyes were a pale gray shadow of what Sunset knew would once have been a vibrant purple. Her dusky purple skin paled when she saw Sunset, and her eyes widened. "S-Sunset," she choked out. "You...you came back..."
Sunset grimaced. "I'm not who you think I am, Mo—I mean, Mrs. Satin. I know I look exactly like your daughter, but I'm not her."
Sunset Satin shook her head, looking Sunset up and down. "Y-young lady, I know my...my own child when I see her..."
"Mrs. Satin," Twilight said gently, "we're from Canterlot. We're actually here looking for Sunset Shimmer. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my sister Soleil."
Satin looked at Twilight, confusion and doubt in her eyes. "Canterlot? But...no," she said, looking back at Sunset and shaking her head. "No, you're...you're her. You have to be."
Sunset's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, but I'm not," she said sympathetically. "I know I...I know I look like her. That's actually why we came looking for her. There's been some, umm...confusion." At Satin's uncomprehending look, she coughed nervously. "I've been mistaken for her," she clarified.
"O-oh," Satin said. She looked Sunset up and down, the hope in her eyes dimmed and replaced by sadness. "Y-yes, I can...I can see why," she said. She shook her head. "She...she's not here," she said. "I...I haven't seen her in..." Her shoulders slumped and she sagged against the open door, a sob wracking her body.
Sunset and Twilight looked at each other helplessly, alarm and concern on their faces. "Mrs. Satin?" Twilight asked. "Did Sunset...did she...run away from home?"
Satin nodded, sniffling. "Th-three years ago," she whispered hoarsely. She blinked suddenly, eyes wide and startled. "W-wait!" she exclaimed. "If...if someone's been asking about her, then she...she's still..."
Sunset smiled reassuringly at her. "I'm sure she is," she said. "I'm sure she misses you. I...I'm sure she's sorry for whatever happened that made her run away from home." She fidgeted. "You don't have any idea...?"
Satin shook her head miserably.
Sunset nodded, shifting uncomfortably. "Alright," she said. "Sorry to have bothered you. We'll...we'll be going now."
"W-wait," Satin said desperately. She stepped away from the door. "Please...stay? Just...just a little while? I'm...I've been so alone ever since Des died..."
Tears filled Sunset's eyes. She nodded. "Alright," she said. She looked to Twilight, who seemed torn and apprehensive. Twilight swallowed and nodded, and the two girls walked into the small, shabby house.
* * * * *
Another phlegmy cough wracked her thin frame.
A tiny cloud of blood filtered through the murky fluid in the syringe as she drew back the plunger, then injected its golden payload into her vein.
The pain eased...some. Blinking back hollow tears from her bloodshot eyes, Sunset Shimmer withdrew the needle from her vein and put it back in the dingy old Ziploc baggie, putting it back in the inside pocket of her heavy coat, which she slipped back onto her slender, slumped shoulders.
An older man in clothes slightly grubbier than hers walked down the rise from the overpass, his boots crunching on the loose gravel of the dry riverbank. As he entered the shadows where she sat slumped against the wall, he produced a wrapped convenience store sandwich and two bottles of malt liquor from his own heavy coat. He tore the sandwich in half, giving her the smaller half and one of the bottles. "Feel better?" he asked.
Sunset nodded, sniffling. "A little," she whispered hoarsely.
"Eat," he said.
She shook her head. "Not hungry."
"Eat," he insisted. "You need your strength. You've gotta go downtown tonight."
Sunset sagged. "What's the point?" she asked. "I can't anymore. They don't want me anymore. Besides, I can't even get..." She coughed. "It's not enough anymore."
"You think that chiva's free?" the man asked. "You think I steal to feed us because I want to? You gotta do your part, girl!"
Sunset drew her knees up to her chest and shivered. "Just leave me alone," she croaked. "I can't. I can't. I can't."
He studied her for a long time, then shook his head and ate his sandwich, watching the distant traffic on the city streets.
* * * * *
Twilight and Sunset—or rather, 'Soleil'—ended up staying the night, getting to know Satin better. When they boarded the train to return to Canterlot the next morning, both girls were sad.
"I wish I could've told her," Sunset lamented. "I wish I could be her Sunset Shimmer."
"I know," Twilight said. She laid a gentle hand on Sunset's shoulder. "You know...you haven't seen your parents in a while, have you?"
Sunset chuckled ruefully. "I wouldn't even know where to begin," she said.
Twilight smiled softly. "How about...'Mom, Dad...I'm sorry. I love you.'?"
Sunset studied her for a long moment, then smiled hopefully. "You think they'll be happy to see me? After all this time?"
Twilight nodded. "I know they will." She wrapped an arm around Sunset's shoulders. "Besides, I'll be right there with you."
Sunset sniffled. "Thank you, Twilight."
One train took Sunset Shimmer to Canterlot. A quick trip through the portal, and another, more cheerful and cozy train took her home.
* * * * *
The chill of night bit into Sunset's flesh even through her coat.
She stood at the edge of the tracks. A freight train would be coming by soon.
She needed that train to come. She needed to leave.
He'd wake up soon and come looking for her. He always did.
She didn't want to do it anymore. She didn't want to do any of it.
Tears streaked down her face. She coughed, spitting up a gob of phlegm mixed with blood. The cough was getting worse...
It didn't matter anymore.
Her entire body hurt. She needed to shoot up...
She was out. And there wouldn't be any more.
He'd seen to that. When she said she couldn't do it anymore, when she wouldn't get up off the ground, when she wouldn't even eat, he took everything away. Where he put it, she didn't know. She wanted to go look for it, but...
She had to wait for the train.
She'd waited for the train before. She'd waited, but she'd never stayed until it came. Or she had, but hadn't gone away. Hadn't had the strength to leave.
But now she knew it was time to go.
She hoped the train would take her someplace where she'd never hurt anymore. Where she'd be free. Where she could feel again.
She wondered how her mom and dad were doing. Maybe the train would take her to them.
She heard the horn blare, saw the light swimming through her hazy vision.
She smiled and sniffled. "Mom, Dad...I'm sorry. I love you."
And the train took Sunset Shimmer away from her pain.
