I'm a pegasus

by Karach

Rating: everyone
Tags: Scootaloo, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3327

After a day full of excitement with Rainbow, Scootaloo has a nervous breakdown as she is reminded yet again of what she can never have. It's up to Rainbow to remind the little filly how strong and awesome she really is.

After a day full of excitement, and a sleepover at Rainbow's, Scootaloo is brought above Canterlot to witness the princesses lower the moon and raise the sun. As Rainbow shares how she first came across the perfect vantage point, Scootaloo is yet again reminded of what she lacks. Her feelings, bottled-up throughout the years of frustration and envy, finally explode in a nervous breakdown.

It's up to Rainbow to remind the filly just how strong and awesome she really is.

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Cover art by the insanely talented Chiweee.

Published 2016-05-25 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-25 22:00:01 UTC

A pegasus

"...ake up," a voice calls, softly. I can barely hear it, so distant and quiet it sounds.

"Wake up already, come on. You're going to miss it," it repeats with a tinge of impatience. I feel a nudge of a gentle hoof on my cheek.

"Five more minutes," I mumble, burying my head in the pillow. It has never felt so soft before. Besides, I'm not going to be late for school anyways. I've never been. All it takes is a few more beats of my wings and my scooter will do the rest.

"Jeez, you're not waking up for school." The hoof jabs my side. "Seriously, squirt, get up!"

Yes, yes, in a... Wait a minute...

"Rainbow Dash?" I snap my eyes open, my head shooting up like an orange-and-purple rocket. "Ow..." I rub my forehead, trying to massage the grogginess away.

"Who did you expect, Santa Hooves?" She grins.

I look around, waiting for the missing jigsaw pieces in my head to fall into place. And they slowly do, reminding me of definitely the most awesome day of my life.

The Wonderbolt show, that we barely made it to, because of the ever trusty Equestria Railways. The derby between them and the griffins in which Rainbow competed as well. The autograph session with Spitfire, Soarin, Fleetfoot, and the others. The slightly embarrassed face of Rainbow Dash when I asked her for her hoofmark too. The evening spent in the cloud fare, set up for all pegasi above Canterlot City for the day. The spontaneous chanting of the Wonderbolt anthem, that was heard throughout the fare and in the city below. The warm back of Rainbow and the steady beats of her powerful wings as she carried me half-conscious to her cloudominium.

"Come on, there's no time to doze off again." Rainbow's voice snaps me back to the present.

I look around, barely recognizing her smiling face in the surrounding darkness.

"Grab a cloud and spray your muzzle. There's nothing better to wash the sleepiness away. Trust me on this." She winks, tossing me a small piece of cloud. I catch it clumsily and wring it over my head, its icy water freezing my hooves numb. A violent splash of liquefied ice feels like a breath of a Windigo on my face, but it does its job—just like Rainbow said.

"There, all better." She nods, her confident grin never leaving her face. "Come on now." She beckons with her wing.

I follow, looking around. I didn't have many chances to admire Rainbow's floating house last night, but she doesn't give me much time to do it now either. We walk outside, which I notice the moment the pitch blackness of the cloud ceiling gets dotted with myriads of tiny lights. An enormous moon shines not more than a few millimeters over the horizon. It's actually pretty weird, seeing it from above. Then again, I guess Rainbow must be used to seeing it like this.

"Whoa there, Scoots." Rainbow's voice stops me, but not as effectively as her wing, which I bump into as it gently pushes me back. "Careful over the edge." She points her hoof down.

I look below my hooves, which are now as close to being suspended in midair as possible. The cloud ends quite abruptly, its silver surface, reflecting the moonlight like it was made of quicksilver vapor floating in midair, drowning in the blackness of the void below.

I swallow the sudden dryness in my throat and lean over, looking below the cloudominium. I can clearly see its shadow on the ground below. It paints a dark blob on the otherwise gray canvas of the trees below. They look like tiny matches from so high above. It feels so ridiculous that I can't help but giggle.

"Hop on." Rainbow slides another small piece of cloud towards me. "We have places to go, and not much time."

I open my mouth, but Rainbow's strong wing is already pushing me onto the cloud. I grab it firmly just before it yanks and zooms forward, propelled by the powerful beats of the blue wings.

I close my eyes, letting the wind ruffle my mane. I love this feeling, but on my beloved scooter I can only recreate its poor substitute. My wings buzz involuntarily as I stand on my hooves, savoring the magical moment I dream of every night.

As every beautiful thing, it ends all too soon, as we come to a much dreaded stop.

"Guess we made it, huh?" Rainbow squats on the cloud next to me. "Take a look over there." She extends her hoof, pointing at the moon. It's almost touching the horizon now. "I bet they're about to start."

I raise my brow. Before I can utter a word, the moon flickers with light. I squint my eyes, noticing a silver thread, barely visible even in the dark of night, touching its surface. I follow it with my eyes, right to the glowing horn of–

"Princess Luna?" I gasp and immediately stifle my mouth with a hoof. Our cloud is parked about two wing-beats from the palace balcony, and slightly above it, so I doubt the princess could have heard me, but for some reason, this sacred moment feels like it shouldn't be interrupted.

The princess gradually lowers her head, her horn shining faintly like a tiny star. Guided by her gentle magic, the moon lowers as well, sinking under the horizon. Just before it disappears altogether, the princess raises her wings. Her head nearly touches the balcony floor, and for the briefest of moments, not long enough to be certain it wasn't all my imagination, her mane flashes with silver, as if it caught all of the light of the already hidden moon. The princess slides her hoof on the floor, her head lowered in a deep bow. She stays like that for several seconds, then rises on her hooves and retires to her chamber.

I lick my lips, realizing how dry my mouth has gotten. "Did she just bow to the moon? I thought the princesses bow to no one." I whisper, afraid to break the silence.

"No one ordinary, for sure. Must be part of the ritual, I guess." Rainbow shrugs, hopping off the cloud. She carefully steers it past the towers, as I admire the view of Canterlot from above.

From Mrs Cheerilee's lessons, I remember some poet comparing the palace ivory towers, sticking out of the dark face of the Canterlot Peak, to a pair of sore teeth shining on a face of a sleeping dragon. In the dark of the night, this comparison gets quite a literal meaning. And now that the moon has vanished and the sun hasn't risen yet, the night is the darkest, just like that proverb says.

A white shape on the other tower catches my eye. It doesn't take long to recognize Princess Celestia, her radiant glow piercing the night like a tiny sun itself.

The princess mirrors her sisters' gesture, taking a deep bow towards the horizon. Her wings flare open, and for the faintest of moments—again, too short to be sure whether or not it's my imagination playing tricks on me—her mane erupts in flames. A beam of bright light pierces the night like a burning sword, drawing a straight line between the princess' horn and the horizon. The spot on the sky touched by the light slowly grows brighter, gradually turning pink and orange. It doesn't take long for the sun to finally peek from below the horizon, beginning its lazy climb on the firmament. The princess horn glows brightly until the whole face of the sun is visible in the sky. Once it is, the princess nods her head towards the star, like she was bidding her greetings to an old acquaintance, and disappears in her chamber.

A hoof pats my shoulder, reminding me to close my gaping mouth.

"Y-yeah?" I utter.

"Did you enjoy the spectacle?" Rainbow's voice allows my wandering mind to focus.

I nod, my eyes still glued to the palace balcony. "It was..." I take a long pause. How am I supposed to describe it?

"It's one of those moments when awesome doesn't quite cut it, no?" Rainbow winks.

I nod again, our eyes meet, and we simultaneously burst in a fit of wild giggles.

I fall silent first, a feeling I suppressed for the whole last day emerging from the bottom of my heart like a nasty bubble on the surface of a bog. "Rainbow..."

"Yeah?" She looks at the city below.

I give it a quick glance as well, noticing it wakes up with the first ponies leaving their homes towards their jobs. They look tiny from above the towers, almost like ants. I try to gulp away the lump in my throat, but it stays there, persistent.

"How many times have you come here to watch the princesses?" I mutter, my voice barely audible.

"Not that many I guess." She rubs the back of her head, an apologetic smile creeping up her muzzle. "I admit, the ritual is quite beautiful, but I've never been the pony to sit around and admire the scenery that often."

"When have you first found this nice spot to peep on the princesses?" I ask, anything to keep my mind off the feeling that pushes its way through my heart.

"Heh, funny story." Rainbow grins. "It was just after moving out of my folks' home, the moment I scrounged some bits and bought the first module of my cloudominium. It was, like, the very basis of a pegasus dwelling. A small bedroom and a portable toilet, roughly the size of a medium cumulus.

Rainbow pauses for a moment, looking back into her memories." Man, I'm so glad we pegasi can live on moldable clouds. For an earth pony or even a unicorn, building a house is pretty much a one-in-a-lifetime endeavor. And an expensive one, too. Not to mention they can't move it if the neighborhood turns sour..."

"Yeah," I nod. "I can imagine..."

"So anyway, I set my home up above Whitetail Woods, 'cause I didn't have any particular idea about where to live yet. It was a windy night, and I knew next to nothing about anchoring my cloud against the wind back then. Imagine my horror when I woke up in the middle of the night and found half of my bedroom smeared on the Canterlot Peak." Rainbow bursts in a radiant laugh. "Ah, good times, good times.

"By the time I finished securing what was left of my cloudominium, it was already dawning, and... Yeah, that's when I saw Princess Celestia." Rainbow glances at the palace towers, or rather through them in a past only she can remember. "Seems like another lifetime now, or another Equestria entirely, when Princess Luna was still imprisoned in the moon... Still, even without her, Princess' Celestia ritual was a sight to behold."

A distant smile slowly warms up Rainbow's face. "I spent the next day hauling my home back above the woods, scrounging clouds on my way, and patching my bedroom. It turned out some of the earth ponies in Ponyville, which I passed above, liked the cloudless sky so much that they offered me a job as a weather patrolmare. My home still needed much TLC, so I agreed and... The rest is history, as they say."

I manage a faint smile, but the dark cloud that's been growing in my chest doesn't want to go away.

"Hey, Scoots..." Rainbow leans over. Perhaps she had noticed it as well. "Anything wrong?"

I wish I could just shake my head and smile, saying it's nothing. I turn away, burying my snout in the cloud we're sitting on.

"Talk to me, squirt." Rainbow places her hoof on my shoulder. "What's the matter?"

I bit my lip, and the silence draws on for what seems like eternity. I promised myself I would never act like a crybaby in front of Rainbow, but my eyes sting like they were dipped in a barrel of lemon juice. Despite my best efforts, a drop of liquid manages to squeeze out of my eye, and I hate it flowing down my snout almost as much as I hate myself for letting it out.

Rainbow's reassuring wing wraps around my back. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's bothering you."

I shake my head. "You can't help me." I hate how my voice shakes. "Nopony can."

"Seriously, Scootaloo, tell me what's wrong." Rainbow's voice grows impatient.

"Everything!" I cry out, and my outburst breaks the dam holding my tears back. "Can't you see? The whole day yesterday, the Wonderbolts' awesome tricks, the sleepover in your cloud-home, watching the princesses' morning ritual from above, even hearing your story," I spit out in bursts interrupted by tears, "all of it just reminded me of everything I can never have!" I bury my head in the cloud and let my tears flow freely. "If I can't fly, why wasn't I born a unicorn or an earth pony? I could do spells or be stronger and tougher then. And as I am, I have nothing! What good are those stupid wings if they will never take me to the sky?!" Blinded by rage, I bite a feather off of my wing and spit it out with disgust. I almost wish I could feel the pain.

With my head buried in the cloud, I rather feel than see Rainbow hop off. A moment later, she lands back beside me.

"Can I keep it?" she asks, her voice muffled by an object in her mouth.

I raise my head, blinking away my tears.

Very gently, as if afraid to ruffle it, Rainbow puts an orange feather—my feather—on her wing and presents it to me.

"Sure." I shrug, wiping the tears off my snout. "You can have all of them if you want. They won't do me any good anyway."

"Don't be silly, squirt," Rainbow says, a warm smile brightening her face. "One is enough."

"Be my guest," I sigh. "Why do you want it anyway? Out of quills?" I try to reciprocate her smile, but manage only an ugly bitter substitute.

Rainbow shakes her head, placing the feather behind her ear. "As a memento of the strongest, bravest filly I've ever known."

I blink in silence.

"Everypony has those ugly days in their lives, tough moments when everything they've worked for crashes on their heads like an avalanche," Rainbow continues, looking at the city below. "I've had my share, that's for sure." She looks back at me, her pink eyes displaying a variety of different emotions, but absolutely no sign of pity. "Do you know who I looked up to then?"

I look back into her eyes, but say nothing.

"A filly so cheerful" – Rainbow's hoof lifts my chin – "that although some ponies whisper behind her back, she laughs every day, giving courage to those around her.

"A filly so persistent" – she wraps her both wings around me – "that despite her body working against her, she's not afraid to pursue her dreams.

"A filly so strong" – Rainbow embraces me in the strongest hug I have ever received – "that in spite of everything pushing her down, she always stands up and marches forward, her confident smile never leaving her muzzle."

I look up. It might be a trick of the morning light, but Rainbow's eyes look a bit wetter than usual.

"You know what I find the funniest?"

I shake my head. It isn't easy in the tight embrace of Rainbow's wings.

"That the filly who claims to be my number one fan is the same whom I draw my inspiration from. Seriously, squirt, you may say you admire me, but it pales in comparison to how much I look up to you." Rainbow blinks away an inconspicuous drop from her eye. "Hey, remember what I told you when you trained so hard to make a flying entrance for the Equestria Games?"

I nod. I really do. I engraved these words in my heart.

"Maybe you'll fly some day," Rainbow starts.

"Or maybe you won't." I continue.

"You're all kinds of awesome anyway." Rainbow finishes, a wide grin brightening her face. "I still stay by these words, you know." Rainbow tightens the embrace even more. "I can't even imagine what I would do if my wings refused to carry me across the sky. I mean, how can you not see how strong you are?"

I blink rapidly, but it doesn't change how wet my eyes are in any visible way. I nestle my head on Rainbow's chest, letting my tears flow freely. I must be soaking her coat, but she doesn't seem to care, not loosening her embrace one bit.

I can't really tell how long I have stayed like that, simply letting all of my anguish—gathered throughout the years of frustration and envy—wash away with tears. Throughout that time, Rainbow doesn't move an inch, not once displaying a single sign of discomfort. I can feel her strong heart beating under her warm chest. Hearing it– feeling it, in fact, calms me faster than any other medicine could. Finally, the source of my tears runs dry, and I peek from under Rainbow's wings.

"Your coat must feel awful," I offer a weak smile. "Sorry about that."

"Hey, if it makes you feel better, I'm game anytime." Rainbow grins. "Your muzzle looks awful, though." She bursts out a sincere giggle. "With that red eyes, puffy cheeks and tear stains, you look like you've just broken up with a stallion."

"Ew, gross." I stick my tongue out, letting the corners of my lips travel up in a quick smile.

"Fortunately for you, I know just the thing to not only dry your cheeks, but also return that lovely smile on that muzzle of yours." She tightens her hooves around me. "You game?"

I nod, wondering what that might be.

The world is violently spun around, as Rainbow does a back flip, gripping me ever so tightly in her hooves. The powerful wind ruffles my mane, drying the tears off my cheeks completely, as we fall down, headfirst, along the palace tower.

"Woohoo!" I can't help but cry out, punching the air with my hoof.

Mere meters above the Canterlot rooftops, Rainbow unfolds her wings, and I feel another violent jerk, as the world spins yet again. We zoom past the chimneys and decorated towers, speeding towards the city border like a Wonderbolt with their tail on fire.

"Up for a loop-the-loop?" Rainbow shouts. Her muzzle is right next to mine, but she has to put strength in her voice to overcome the wind howling in our ears.

"You betcha!" I yell back.

The moment we cross the border of the city, Rainbow pulls upward, the enormous acceleration pushing the air from my lungs. I can breath again at this rare moment at the very top of the loop, when gravity and centrifugal force balance each other out. It feels truly magical, and—even though it lasts shorter than a second—time seems to slow down, and I let my mind wander, reminiscing about everything that happened yesterday and earlier today.

The time to properly gush over Rainbow's words will come. I will definitely engrave them in my heart, to carry me where my wings can't. For now, though, I simply enjoy the moment. I slide my hooves tighter around Rainbow's neck, placing my head under her chin.

The gravity will grab us back. She always does. Nopony can escape her crushing talons for long. But when she yanks us down, dumping the weight of the whole world on my shoulders, I will be ready. Whether or not I can fly.

Because fighting her is what pegasi do, each and every day.

And, after all, I'm a pegasus myself.