Welcome to Equestria, Friend

by Jewbacca

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Lyra
Length: 9184

John Marston and Nigel West Dickens in Equestria, what else is there to say?

Trying to look for Bill Williamson and Javier Escuella, John Marston seems to be down on his luck. Sick of the conflict he has to deal with in Mexico, and upset with his fruitless search, he goes back to the 'States to rest in Armadillo for a few days. But, when he thought he had time to rest, the con artist Nigel West Dickens comes through and tells him he found something. Dismayed that he will never be able to get to rest, he gives up and goes with the eccentric fellow on his coach to see that he has found a portal. But before they can react, it consumes them.

Now, a bounty hunter, a strange conman, and a stagecoach full of Patented Elixir are stuck in this strange new territory. How will these men do in this odd land with its citizens?

Additional Tag(s): [Comedic at Parts, but Generally Serious]

Published 2012-06-18 20:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-08 20:48:47 UTC

Chapter 1: Strange New Place

NOTE: I do not own rights to either franchises. Red Dead Redemption is owned by Rockstar® and Rockstar San Diego®, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro®. Used without permission.

Chapter One: Strange New Place

John sat on the bed, shaking his head. He had been swindled and captured by the Mexican Army, and had otherwise been hopping over the fence between the army and the resistance. All he wanted to do, was rest.

He got up from the bed, and looked at his map. I suppose goin’ to and staying in Armadillo for a few days can’t hurt... the bounty hunter thought to himself. He smiled, walked into his closet, threw on his duster coat, put on his hat, grabbed his weapons and cash, and walked outside.

He began walking ahead. A nearby woman waved and exclaimed, “Hola! Señor Marston!”

He smiled and tipped his hat towards her. Helping with the resistance had turned him into a local celebrity in the province, but he just wanted to get away.

He put his hand to his mouth and whistled, and a short couple of seconds later, a golden, pristine Kentucky Saddler trotted up and came to his side. He quickly mounted the horse and began riding out of Chuparosa.

He eventually reached the wilderness, and continued riding through and out of Mexico. He finally crossed the bridge and into the United States. The trip was uneventful, nothing happening until he finally reached the small town of Armadillo, and went into the saloon.

Ignoring the prostitutes that bothered him, he went to the counter.

“Whiskey.” he rasped, the bartender pulling up a bottle and a small shot glass. The man poured it into the vessel, and he quickly swigged it.

He sat there for a moment, when a masculine voice came from outside.

“John! John! Come out here, quick!”

The bartender looked at him, Marston smirked and said, “It’ll be a minute, friend.”

The bounty hunter walked outside, pushing the gates to see a familiar face. It was a slightly large man, sitting in a stagecoach brandishing the name “N.W. Dickens Patented Elixir”.

The old man hopped from the vehicle and looked at him with a smile. “John! I saw you coming here on your horse! I found something amazing! Quick! Come with me!” Dickens exclaimed.

“If it’s another race, or you want me to sell more of your ‘Patented Elixir’, I want out of it.” John mumbled irritably.

“No, it’s not that. It’s something strange, something amazing!”

“I came to Armadillo to rest, so I still want out of it...”

“Don’t worry, it will take none of your time away! Quick, come!”

Shaking his head and swearing the con-man under his breath, John hopped up onto the side of the wagon. Nigel walking around and climbing in the driver’s seat, He snapped the reigns quickly, loudly declaring, “We must make haste, John, I don't know how much longer it will stay around!”

“How long what will stay around?”

“I’m not sure, you’ll just have to see it for yourself!”

With that, they moved out of Armadillo. John decided to take a nap, and, shortly, arrived at their destination.

Dickens nudged the bounty hunter in the side to wake him up, his eyes fluttered open, and he looked around.

“Why are we at Hanging Rock?”

"This is where I found it. Quickly, John, we have to find it soon!”

The two men hopped from the carriage and walked towards the group of rocks.

They examined the landform together, but saw nothing.

“I don’t know what you’re playin’ at, Mr. West Dickens. What are you tryin' to get me to do?”

“No, I’m being serious, John. I implore you, just give it another look."

They checked again, nothing.

Marston expression of confusion distorted into a frown, and then into a look of rage. He pulled out his semi-automatic pistol and pointed it at Nigel’s head. “You better tell me what the hell is goin' on before I put a bullet in your head!” he shouted angrily.

Dickens threw his hands in the air, “J-John, violence is never the answer, maybe if we’re patient enough-”

“I don’t care at this point. I just want to go back to Armadillo...” John pulled his sidearm back and put it in his holster. He then walked to the coach and got into the seat. Nigel followed suit, getting in the driver’s seat and grabbing at the reigns.

He was about to snap at them when a blinding light distracted them. The two looked back at Hanging Rock to see a large, white, ovular object sitting in the air. John was confused, Nigel was smiling.

“That’s it! I told you, John! I told you!” the old man shouted.

“Well, old man, I guess you were right.”

But before either one could get out, the object rushed towards them. Even one with the fastest reflexes couldn't have gotten out of the way of it. It consumed the wagon, and the two men on it.

“Ugh...w-where am I?” John asked, regaining consciousness. He slowly opened his eyes to see a pink face staring at him with massive eyes.

He screamed rolling out of the way of the entity. Feeling himself regain his strength, he looked to see it was a...pony?

A pink pony, with a curly, magenta mane. John was staring in confusion, shock, and all sorts of other emotions.

“Hey, Mister! Who are you? What are you? How did you get here?” the pony bombarded him with questions.

“My God...are you a...a horse? Never mind that...You can talk?!” John asked, dumbfounded.

“Well...yeah! Everypony can talk, silly!”

The bounty hunter was trying to let everything soak in, but it was just too bizarre of an occurrence for him to pass down. He began looking around him, he was on a stone path. Several more ponies were surrounding him, and he finally locked his eyes onto the cart and Dickens, who was laying on the ground.

“What’s this...’N.W. Dickens Patented Elixir’?” one of them asked.

John hobbled over to the con artist. He slowly got up, Marston quickly running over to assist the old man. “Th-thank you, John, I should be fine. I just wonder how the coach survived the fall, and my-”

He turned around to see his horses were missing.

“Where are my horses! They’re...gone! All that’s there is the wagon, and hopefully...” he walked to the back and opened it up, the plethora of bottles and flasks lay before him.

“Okay, my elixir is safe, thank God.” he mumbled to himself.

“I’m still curious as to what the hell is going on...” John said.

“Well, I can say this: Welcome to Equestria!” the pink pony exclaimed.

“Equestria?” John asked.

“Yeah! That’s where you are, silly goose!”

“Well. I reckon I was in New Austin only a few minutes ago...”

“New Austin, where’s that?”

“Um...the United States, where I thought I was. But I must've hit my head pretty hard. I have no idea what’s going on after that...thing...hit us.”

“Oh, I never did find out, what are your names?”

Nigel ran up to meet John and the pony, “My name is Nigel West Dickens! This is my associate, John Marston!” he declared proudly, before falling down.

“I think you should lay down for a minute, old man, you’ve taken quite a fall...” John muttered.

“Well, my name is Pinkie Pie!” she cheered.

“Pinkie...Pie...Well, I’ve come to a place full of colorful ponies, and one’s name is Pinkie Pie. I ain’t sure I’m right in the head right now, anywhere I can rest for a bit?”

“Sure! You can come inside the bakery, have some tea, and we’ll talk about everything!”

Marston sighed, and nodded, grabbing Nigel and pulling him up from the ground. They then followed her into said bakery.

“Alright...so...let me get this straight...Whatever that...thing...was...sent us here, Equestria, some country full of colorful ponies of all kinds, and this is real...” John put his head in his hands, he had no idea what was going on.

“My God...I’m gonna lose my family because I got stuck in some place full of imaginary creatures...”

“Wait, what do you mean you’re going to lose your family?” Pinkie asked worryingly.

“Okay, look, I may as well give you the full picture, ‘Pinkie Pie’...”

He then went to explain as to why he was in New Austin, what he’s done, and what he and Nigel experienced before being sent to Equestria.

“Oh...my...Celestia...you were in a gang? And you...killed...other...ponies?!”

“Well, people, not ponies. But, yeah, it’s a shameful thing.”

The gleeful Earth pony stared at him with a sullen, teary gaze. She slumped in her seat and put her head in her forelegs onto the table. “Look, could you at least find a way for us to get out of here?” John asked. Nigel quickly grabbed him, and pulled him towards him. “Wait, John.” he whispered, “Perhaps, here, I could find some customers to buy my Patented Elixir! I’m sure a good plenty of these ponies have some sort of ailment!”

“Look, Mr. West Dickens, you can do that, but I want to get here. The last thing I want to do is do what I’ve been doin’ with you, which, last time I reckon almost got us killed!” he snapped back.

“But what if we can’t get out of here, we must make it worthwhile!”

John shook his head, he looked back at Pinkie, who was nervously clopping her hooves together. “Um...Pinkie?”

“Yeah?” she asked.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with all this...But it seems that we can’t get out of here, yet. If it’s possible, is there anywhere we can get some warm food and a bed?”

“Well...I’m sure Twilight can help you out...”

The two men nodded, and they walked outside. That’s when they were confronted by another problem, the coach.

He looked at Nigel, who just smiled with a ridiculous grin. “Oh, don’t worry about me, you go find that ‘Twilight’ fellow, I’ll find a way to get this thing moving!” he said.

“Thanks, for taking me here, Pinkie...” John mumbled as he looked in front of the tree-like building.

“Oh, no problem! Um...what was your name ag-” she replied.

“John, John Marston”

“Oh, well, no problem, John!”

With that, she turned around and walked away. John looked ahead and began walking to the building. He reached the door, bending down, he knocked on it.

A couple of seconds later, the top half swung open to reveal a lavender unicorn with a violet mane. But before he could say anything, she screamed.

Shortly later, she walked back up to him with a massive grin, “Oh-...Oh my Celestia, a real human!” she exclaimed.

“Um...yeah...now-”

“Where are you from? How did you get here? Are there more humans with you? Can you-”

“Look, Friend, the only reason I’m here is because your friend....Pinkie Pie...lead me here. All those questions can be answered, but I just need to rest for a bit.”

“Oh, why...yes! Of course! Come in!”

She opened the door completely to let him in, he was a tall man, though, so he had to crawl in, and even in the vastness of the library, he was still very tall.

After he had gotten settled down, Twilight’s barrage of questions continued.

“Okay.” he cut her off in her ramble. “My name is John Marston, I’m a bounty hunter that was staying in New Austin, and, well, Mexico. Last time I reckon, the year was 1911. I was sent there to hunt down a man I used to roll in a gang with, name’s Bill Williamson. My family was threatened a-”

“Wait, did you say ‘gang’?”

“Yes, now I don’t want to go all on what happened and what I did, but I was shot and left for dead.”

“Oh...Um...Well I-...”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, I just want to rest for a bit.”

“Well, that’s fine, but after that, can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“We, as in Ponyville, have been having some problems with criminals, seeing that this is what you do, maybe you can help us after you rest.”

“Well, I guess I don’t have much else to do here, so what harm can catching a few crooks do?”

“Great, I guess we can start tomorrow!”

“Yeah, sure.”

John smiled and nodded, Twilight returning the gesture.

A/N:

Maybe not a great start to the story, but it’s the worse thing I do when it comes to writing. So, what should be expected? Nigel West Dickens trying to con the residents of Ponyville out of their money with his elixir? John Marston being sent to hunt down ruthless outlaws? What’s going to happen? You never know. Give it a chance!

But there is a bit of a reason I did this:

I love Metroid, but I’ve been logging hours of time into Red Dead Redemption recently, so I decided, “Why not give it a shot?” I have mentioned before that I was going to write a fic. Who knows, I may be the first to write a Red Dead X My Little Pony story, I doubt it, but I might. And, another question, why Nigel West Dickens?

Well, aside from the fact that watching him in all of those cutscenes is hilarious, I find him to be one of the few normal characters I have encountered from the U.S., the other two being Marshal Leigh Johnson and Bonnie MacFarlane. Seth is a creepy son-of-a-bitch and Irish is just some crazy drunk that robs nuns...

Oh well, enjoy!

Chapter 2: New Jobs...And New Problems

NOTE: I do not own rights to either franchises. Red Dead Redemption is owned by Rockstar® and Rockstar San Diego®, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro®. Used without permission.

Chapter Two: New Jobs...And New Problems

About thirty minutes later, John decided that he would sleep for a little bit. He looked across the small reading table to see Twilight observing him with astonishment. And he asked, “Hey, you know, it’s been a helluva time since I’m still tryin’ to get everything straight, so, do you mind if I get some shuteye for a bit?”

She moved from her trance, and said, “Oh! Why...Yes! I’ll lead you upstairs to the guest room!”

She sprung up, the bounty hunter following suit and walking with her upstairs. But before he could get to the top, he was met by a small, purple creature, staring at him with wide eyes.

“I-...I-...Uh...” it stammered. Twilight laughed nervously and said, “Oh, Spike, I haven’t introduced you yet. This is John Marston, he’s a bounty hunter from...Where did you say?”

“New Austin, though I’ve travelled to several places.” Marston replied.

“Right...And...as you can see...he’s a...human...”

John stuck his hand out, and said, “It’s a pleasure.” Spike was simply awestruck, and just stared at him. The bounty hunter laughed, and pulled his hand away.

“Well, I reckon I’ll see you later on. Anyways, Twilight, ‘you mind showing me where this guest room is?”

“Oh, yes, of course!” she replied, and the two walked around the baby dragon, who turned around and continued staring at him.

She led him into the room. It was a quaint little chamber, with a small bed, a wardrobe, and a dresser, as well as the portrait of Starswirl the Bearded mounted on the wall. The librarian bowed her head in a regal manner, as to let the man in. He bent down, and patted her on the back of the neck before walking towards the bed.

“Do you not want to get into something more comfortable?” she asked as he laid down in it, his legs went over the edge, but at that point, he could’ve cared less.

“Nah...I’ll be fine...I’m just gonna lay down for a few hours.” he responded.

“Well, alright then!”

With that, she walked out of the room and closed the door. John closed his eyes, and went to sleep.

After what he thought was a few hours, he woke up to see the pony still staring at him. He got up from the small bed, and looked back at her, asking “Twilight, why the hell do you keep doing that?”

She blinked and looked up, “Oh! Oops...Heheh...sorry, John. Anyways...rise and shine!”

“What? How long have I been asleep?” he asked.

“Oh...I’d say about...eleven...twelve hours...”

“What?! Shit...”

“John! Language!”

“Who are you, my mother? Anyways...hang on...just...let me get up...”

He rose from the bed, grunting in pain, he felt his back to feel the Springfield Rifle still strapped to his back. “Well...looks like we’ll have to go now...” he murmured.

“You don’t want any breakfast?” the purple filly asked.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Well...alright...”

He quickly got up, dusting himself off and following the pony downstairs and eventually outside.

John walked calmly down the road, Twilight Sparkle accompanying him. The new day had been quite empty, with no one else really walking around.

“Twilight, where’re these criminals you was talkin’ about yesterday?” he asked as he walked down the street.

“You mean where are these criminals you were talking about, John.” she corrected him.

He stopped, turned to his side, and glared at the filly, “Please. It’s enough that I’m stuck in some place that I ain’t ever heard of or been to. I don’t need somebody correcting me on everything I say.”

Twilight blushed. “Oh, um, sorry...”

“It’s fine, I’m just curious as to where these criminals you’re speaking of are.”

“Well, John, Ponyville isn’t as small of a town as you think it is. They could be anywhere, even-”

“HELP! SOMEPONY HELP!” the voice interrupted the librarian. The two looked around to see a cream Earth pony mare with a red mane staring in horror down the road. They quickly ran up to her, John bent down and asked, “What happened, Ma’am?”

“That stallion just robbed me! You have to stop him!” she screamed in response, pointing her hoof down the road.

Marston turned to see a black-and-white unicorn stallion running, a heavily stuffed saddlebag at his side. He began running towards the pony, Twilight trying to keep up.

He turned to see her, and said, “This ain’t gonna be pretty, I suggest you hold back.”

With that, he pulled the Springfield Rifle from the holster on his back. The lavender unicorn shouting, “Wait, John, what are you doing?!”

“Like I said, Friend, I suggest you hold back!”

He closed his eyes, and cleared his conscious, all that he thought of was an empty space. He slowly opened his eyes, everything around him seemed to be in slow motion. He was calm, and all that he saw in his way was his target. He centered his focus upon the stallion’s right hind-leg, and brought up his rifle.

He smiled. Today is not your day, Friend, he thought to himself, and he fired. The brass shell exploded from the muzzle, sailing through the air. Continuing until it finally found its target. It sliced and burrowed its way into the robber’s soft flesh. He roared in pain as it finally flew out and into the ground.

John dropped his concentration, and stopped as reality came back his way. He smiled as he saw the bleeding unicorn crumble to the ground. He ran up to him, pulling out a rope, he wrapped it around his legs, and tightened it. He grabbed the stallion and put him into a Fireman’s Carry, and walked back to the mare. “I think this is yours, Miss.” he chortled, laying him down in front of her.

He looked around to see, instead of impressed, several mortified ponies staring at him. He pivoted around and looked down to see Twilight Sparkle staring at him with large, teary eyes.

“H-how...how could you?” she stifled.

He chuckled, “As you can see, we come from two different worlds, Twilight. In New Austin, well, pretty much everywhere in this case. If you got a thief, you either kill ‘em, or you capture ‘em.”

He turned around to see the shopkeeper, who just nodded and weakly mouthed Thank you.

He laughed, tipping her hat towards her and saying, “Now you have a good day, Ma’am.”

Twilight was still trying to understand who would just do...whatever he just did...to stop that burglar. “Well...I-I suppose we can just continue, just...don’t do...that...again. Violence isn’t really appreciated in these parts.”

Marston rolled his eyes and nodded her off. Then, worry started to come to him. The studious mare noticed his look, and asked, “What’s wrong, John?”

“Well, I think it’s best if we check on Mr. West Dickens. God knows what that man is doing....” he laughed.

She stopped in her pace, “‘God’? What’s ‘God’?” she inquired.

“Um...ruler of the universe? That whole story? Didn’t you ever go to church as a kid?”

“O~oh! You must mean Princess Celestia!”

John shook his head, “Yeah, whatever...”

They continued walking down the street, nothing else seemed to have happened. However, they began to notice a crowd building up by Town Hall. Speeding up their pace, John and Twilight ran over to see what was going on. Sure enough, a large stagecoach sat in front of it, brandishing the name ‘N.W. Dickens Patented Elixir’.

They walked through the crowd, besides a teal unicorn bragging about humans actually existing, everyone was silent. They looked ahead, where a man, most likely in his mid-sixties, with a decent suit and a top hat, stood behind a table with various bottles.

“Looks like we found Mr. West Dickens.” Marston mumbled to Twilight Sparkle before he began speaking.

With a smile, Nigel began, “Friends! Hard working souls of...Uh...Er...Oh, Ponyville! Gather round, gather round.”

He motioned the ponies to move closer, then asked, “Do you suffer from Rheumatism? Lumbago? Acute, chronic, sciatic, neurologic, or inflammatory pain?”

A few nods in the crowd, but besides that, a silent group.

“Well, I represent the only company that makes the Genuine Article. That cures headaches, neuralgia, earache, toothaches, backaches, swellings, sprains, sore chest, swelling of the throats, contracted cords, and muscles, anxieties, and ravaged nerves, stiff joints, wrenches, dislocations, cuts and bruises! And, it adds vitality and vigor to the healthy man....Oh! And also, in this case, woman!”

He grabbed one of the bottles, and unscrewed the cap. “Would any of you care for a sample?”

John felt like coming up to prevent any problems the old fellow may cause, but he wanted to see where this goes. Almost instantaneously, the same teal unicorn from earlier rose her hoof and began waving it frantically.

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” she kept on calling. Nigel smiled, he raised a crooked finger and said, “You! The mint-green one in the crowd! Come up here!”

She pointed her hoof at herself, and asked, “Me?”

“Yes, you! Come up here, quickly!” he responded, motioning his hand back.

She shoved everypony in her way outwards, and quickly trotted up to him.

He observed her for a moment to get an understanding of her sex, then asked, “Young lady, what’s your name?”

She didn’t respond, she simply said, “Wow! A real human! And Bon Bon said I was crazy!” with a quiet snicker.

“Um...Yes, I am a human, now, what is your name?”

“Oh! Right...My name is Lyra...Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Well, Lyra Heartstrings, have you ever had any such ailment that would request the use of this fine medicine?”

“Well...I do have this knot in my back...B-”

“Well then, with just a quick drink of this miraculous beverage, that painful knot in your back will turn into a blissful feeling of a million angel kisses!”

Smiles and conversations were traded amongst each other in the crowd. John laughed, and crossed his arms, Twilight was confused. “Can all this really happen?” she asked.

The ex-bandit looked down at her and lamented, “You’ll see, just wait...”

Nigel lowered the bottle of tonic down to the mare, who grasped it with her magic. The “Salesman” was fascinated, but continued to see her down the liquid in only a few seconds. She immediately regretted the taste, but had already drank the bottle dry.

In between coughs, she asked, “Do all life-saving, miracle cures taste this bad?”

“My fair lady, 1911 is a very limiting time! Not everything can taste good, no matter how it alleviates the effects!” West Dickens declared proudly.

“Well...last time I remember it was 1001, but ok-” she stopped in her sentence, her look of confusion turned into one of panic and fright. Frantically looking around, she asked, “Oooh....Where’s the little filly’s room when you need it?”

A couple pointed to a nearby outhouse, the mare quickly sprinting towards it, and slamming the door shut.

Nigel began to build up a nervous sweat. He removed his hat to wipe off some of the perspiration before continuing. “N-Now...This tonic does have some...minor side-effects, that shouldn’t outweigh the b-”

“AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!”

The scream came from the nearby stall that Lyra had entered. The crowd began staring in its direction. John shook his head, he knew what was happening.

Trying to divert the attention back to him, the con-artist stuttered, “N-Now...while these side-effects seem serious, they should pose as no pr-”

“O-OH CELESTIA! IT’S EVERYWHERE!”

“Wh-While an abrupt and violent movement of the bowels is the most serious effect, I assure you tha-”

“WHERE’S ALL THE TOILET PAPER?! SOMEPONY HELP!”

John shook his head sullenly, he walked up to Nigel, patted him on the back, and said, “I think you should try again, Old Man, ‘seems that you’re miracle tonic just doesn’t sit well in these ponies...”

“R-Right...Thank you...Mr. Marston...” he replied.

“Well, you go do that, I’m gonna go check on that ‘Lyra’ fellow...”

With that, he walked over to the outhouse, which had began radiating a foul, foul smell. He knocked on the door.

“U-Ugh...what do you want?” a tired voice came from the stall.

“Miss...are you alright?”

The door opened slightly to have her head pop out, she look exhausted, and grumbled, “I feel like that time when I was a little filly and I drank a big glass of my grandma’s prune juice...Wait...another human?!”

A massive grin spread across her face, Marston laughed, and said, “Um...Yeah...Anyways...That tells you to listen to some strange fella in a suit and top hat, Friend.”

“Heh...yeah...I guess you’re right...because it looks like nopony’s gonna be using this toilet for a while...Actually...do you got any toilet paper on you?” she asked.

“Do I look like I got any toilet paper?”

“Yeah...I guess you’re right...but my tail and flank would be a messy sight if I didn’t have anything to clean it up.”

The smell and Lyra’s description didn’t help his stomach. “Uh...Look...I’ll get you some help...”

“Thanks...”

The teal pony closed the door, and John turned around. Nigel had finished putting away his diarrhea-inducing elixir. John ignored him, and looked at Twilight, who was staring nervously in his direction.

“Is-...Is she going to be okay?” she asked.

“She’s gonna be fine, she just needs some toilet paper...” he responded with a straight expression.

“Okay...Wait...This is happening way too fast. First, you shoot a robber in the ankle, tie him up, and give him to Roseluck to let her to Celestia-knows-what to him. And now your friend is giving this liquid that makes ponies have a...messy...incident...”

“First off, that...idiot is not my friend, alright? The only reason I even know him is because I found him, and then made me travel all over New Austin to find out that Bill Williamson had left for Mexico that morning! I do what I do best to solve problems, don’t you?!”

“Yeah...But does that mean I kill others to get my way? No! Do I rob people that are perfectly ordinary just to make myself happy? No!”

“We robbed the rich and undeserving and gave to the poor and needy! And, even then, I’m on the other side of the law now!”

“But that doesn’t fix what you’ve already done!”

John then pulled his Semi-Automatic Pistol from his holster and pointed it at Twilight’s head.

“I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO BECAUSE I WAS TAUGHT THAT WAY! OKAY?!”

The filly cowered from the device, then came back up.

“‘Other side of the law’ my purple flank!”

He stopped, and stared at her, he put his gun away, and slumped to the ground. He put his head in his hands.

He looked back up at her, and felt his face, the first tear he had shed in a long, long time.

“Look, Twilight. I’m sorry for blowing up like this. Look, my family’s being threatened with death because I had to hunt down this man I used to roll in a gang with, Bill Williamson, I later found he was staying with another man I knew, Javier Escuella, and now I can’t see my wife and son anymore because I got stuck here for some reason. But I’m nothin’ but a bounty hunter in a dying time, and now I have to hunt down these men, which now I can’t do. Do you understand what I’m sayin’?”

She looked up at him, and stammered, “Yeah...I’m really...sorry...I didn’t know that your wife and son were being threatened...Well...Actually...I think I may know somepony who could help us out, follow me back to my library.”

“Well, alright, I guess...”

Shortly later, they arrived back at the library, and the studious filly led the gunman upstairs. She took him to a desk, and brought up a quill, a piece of parchment, and a bottle of ink.

“We’re gonna send a letter?” John asked, confused.

“Yeah!” Twilight responded cheerfully.

“Well...to who? How far do they live away?”

“Canterlot, I’m going to send a letter to Princess Celestia!”

“Princess Celestia? Isn’t she like...your...God...or somethin’ like that?”

“Well, kind of...you’ll see, I’m just going to answer if she can teleport us over to her.”

“Teleport? Why doesn’t she just come to us?”

“She only likes doing it on occasion, she doesn’t really like always going so far and go through a massive crowd of cheering ponies, she likes solitude at this time of the day.”

“Well...I guess that’d make sense. But why’re you sendin’ it to her if she likes bein’ by herself at this time of the day?”

“It’s just...Well...You’ll see...”

John shrugged and watched as she called for Spike. The baby dragon ran over to her, and she handed him the stationary, she began speaking.

“Dear Princess Celestia,

This may sound really, and I mean really crazy. But...you know those Old-Pony Tales about humans? The hairless apes that talk and wear clothes? Somehow, two of those came here from a place called ‘New Austin’, one was this eccentric, old man by the name of ‘Nigel West Dickens’, one who gave Lyra this tonic that caused her to have a-”

She turned around to face John, “Oh...we forgot to give Lyra that toilet paper, didn’t we?”

“We can worry about it later, just keep writin’ this letter.”

“Okay...” she cleared her throat, and continued.

“That caused her to have a...mess...Anyways, there’s also this other man, whom I’m standing next to right now, named ‘John Marston’, he’s a bounty hunter that has quite a story, and the reason I’ve written you this letter is because I ask that you can teleport us to you so you can talk with him. The Friendship Express is going to be too small for him to fit, so I just ask that you can talk with him. Thank you.

Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle”

With that, Spike took the letter and materialized it into thin air with his fire. Marston looked at her and asked, “What now?”

“We just wait for a respo-” she was cut off as Spike regurgitated a rolled up piece of parchment in her direction. It hit the floor, and she picked it up. And read it, she then lowered it and looked at John with a smile.

“So...yes?”

She nodded, and a few seconds later. A white glow appeared to spread over John.

He noticed, and he started freaking out. “W-What the hell is going on?!” he shouted.

“She’s trying to send you to her, just wait!” she exclaimed.

He still remained frantic as the glow continued to consume him, he just looked at her with one last look of fear, before materializing completely.

A while later, he came back into the physical world. But he was somewhere new.

It was a beautiful room, with white, brick lined walls and floors, red, velvety rugs, and two thrones, surrounded by statue-like guards. One was a large, white-and-gold seat, the other was a smaller, black-and-blue seat. But the larger throne was accompanied by someone.

It was another pony, but it was much larger. At least twice the size of any other he had seen before, she had a long, sharp horn, with wings tucked at her sides. Golden horseshoes and a collar, finally finished by a beautiful, golden tiara at the top of her head. Her wavy, multi-color mane blowing behind her despite the lack of wind.

The mare had finally noticed the man in her presence, and said, “Oh! You have made it!”

John was still staring at the beautiful creature, who had slowly risen from her seat, and walked up to him. “You must be John Marston, no?”

He snapped out of his trance, “Oh! Um...Y-Yeah...that’s me...I suppose I have to give you my whole st-”

“Oh, that’s quite alright, John, I can see, and hear everything. I know how you and that odd Mr. West Dickens fellow came here. While he did, you came here by no accident...”

“What? What do you mean?” John was confused.

“Well, I this can all be explained easily, but first, let me introduce myself. I am Princess Celestia, I co-rule this land with my younger sister, Luna. I raise the sun, while she lowers the moon. And, the reason why you’re here is because, well, I don’t know exactly how, let alone why, but the crime-rate has spiked, not just in Ponyville, but in several places around Equestria: Appleoosa, Manehatten, and even here, in Canterlot. I know humans aren’t a myth, and I know of your issue, and I can assure you-”

“Then can you send me back so I don’t have to blame you for getting my wife and son killed?” John interrupted.

“Don’t worry, John, but, I can’t send you back.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I used a spell to summon the most famous person ever in the Western Hemisphere. Landon Ricketts was a good candidate, but he seemed too old and I didn’t want to hurt him. You came up, and, also, I have no control over that portal, now anyone can find it, and enter it.”

“First off, ‘Princess Celestia’, I don’t see who the hell drilled it into your head that you can just break into our daily lives and pull us just because you need us to solve your own problems. But, whoever it is, you need to teach ‘em a lesson. You just opened up a portal in one of the most dangerous places in my world, and you could care less! Because you’re as smart as an actual horse, and couldn't even think for yourself-”

“Now you listen here, Mr. Marston! I’m sorry that you had to be picked for this, but we really need the help! Can you understand that?”

“Can you understand that my family’s life is on the line because of you now, if it isn’t already?”

“I promise, I will send you back when you finish your job, but I need the h-”

“You promise? YOU PROMISE?! I DON’T NEED ANYMORE GODDAMN PROMISES, PRINCESS!”

The guards began to surround the two, John was now inches from Celestia’s face.

“Please, John! I beg of you! You have to help us!”

He glared at the princess, pointing at her, he asked, “You swear, that you will, not even let me back, but help me hunt down these outlaws?”

“I will try to do whatever I can, just...please...help us...”

“Hm...In that case...fine...But if anything happens to my family because I’m gone-”

“I know, I’ll try my best to make sure nothing happens.”

John stared at her for a few seconds, and asked, “Anyone I have to do this with?”

“You can have whatever help you want.”

“Fine...”

“Thank you! Thank you, John!”

“Yeah, whatever....”

A/N:

I hope that wasn’t too emotional or something, like that “Additional Tag” at the bottom of the description implies, this will be funny at times, but generally serious. The whole Patented Elixir incident, funny, Marston pointing a gun at Twilight, serious. You can kind of understand that. If it’s too problematic, please tell me, and I’ll change what needs to be changed. If it’s just a big problem in general, I’ll rewrite the thing.

I always accept critique and ideas, so please give them if you have any :P

Chapter 3: The Ponyville Uprising

NOTE: I do not own rights to either franchises. Red Dead Redemption is owned by Rockstar® and Rockstar San Diego®, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro®. Used without permission.

Chapter Three: The Ponyville Uprising

Twilight Sparkle, sat in the small chair at the desk. It had been...what? Thirty, forty-five minutes? She was thinking that it would only take a few for the Princess to have a basic discussion with John, and she feared that he had done something similar to what he had done to her earlier.

A few minutes later, she noticed a dim sparkle in the room. It soon turned into a massive, malevolent, white orb of energy without warning. She screamed, and backed away, only to see that the orb eventually formed into a human-like figure, and finally fade out to reveal Marston standing calmly.

She trotted up to him, and asked, “Well, how did it go?”

After managing to get his bearings straight, he looked down at Twilight, and responded, “That ‘Princess’ said that I gotta help lower the crime in some towns before she’ll help me get back to New Austin.”

“What towns?”

“I think she said...Here, and some places named ‘Appleoosa’, ‘Manehatten’, and ‘Canterlot’.”

She sat back down into her seat, rubbing her chin with her hoof, a concentrated expression on her face.

“So...you think we should start with Ponyville?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Well, I don’t think there’s-...Wait...”

“Hm?”

“Well, I read in some issue of the Ponyville Express a week or two ago about a group of ponies breaking into homes, assaulting some other ponies, and other crimes. It said that they were trying to cause an uprising.”

“Well...’Guess we gotta start somewhere, right?”

“Heh...I suppose so...and maybe I can introduce you to some of my friends. One of them is a bit like you in a couple of ways.”

With that, Twilight moved from the chair and over to the stairs, motioning her head for John to follow her. After that, they walked out of the building, and onto the street.

They walked down the cobbled path towards the more urban area of the town. But they eventually passed the kiosk-like building where that morning’s robbery had occurred. The same mare was standing behind an assortment of bouquets, several kinds of flora ranging from lilies to roses, tulips, and other flowers.

It didn’t take long for her to notice the man that had brought the stallion to justice. She quickly poked under the counter, popping back up with a small bag with coins in it, she began walking over to him.

She eventually reached him, and nudged him in the back of the leg. John turned around and looked down. He smiled slightly, and tipped his hat towards her.

“If anyone else gives you trouble, let me know.” he said calmly.

“Oh! On that topic, I couldn’t thank ya’ enough for what ya did for me earlier, and I wanted to give ya this as a reward.” the mare replied happily with a slight accent.

John bent down, and took the bag out of her mouth. “Now, you have a good day, Miss.” he said as he got back up.

“Thanks...Um...What’s your name?”

“John...John Marston...”

“Well, thank ya’, John!”

“My pleasure, ma’am.”

With that, he continued down the street with Twilight Sparkle. As they were walking, though, he examined the contents of the bag, in it was ten, fifteen gold coins.

“‘This what you ponies use for money right here?” he inquired, picking up one of the coins to observe it more closely.

“Yeah...we call them ‘bits’.”

“‘Bits’,huh?”

“That’s righ-”

She didn’t get time to finish as another scream broke the conversation. They looked all around, but saw no one. Then another scream came from a nearby alleyway. The two quickly ran up to it, and looked inside. A white-coated, purple-maned unicorn mare was standing at the back of it. A blue-and-black stallion of the same race was slowly walking towards her, his horn glowing a vicious cobalt color.

The two began running up to them, once they reached them, the mare noticed and screamed, “TWILIGHT! HELP!”

The assailant turned around to see them, only to have the shiny, steel muzzle of a Schofield revolver in his face. The glow turned dull, and he slowly backed away.

“Now...I suggest you get outta here before you do somethin’ your gonna regret, Friend.” John demanded.

“Yeah, what’re you gonna do about i-”

He moved his thumb and pulled the hammer back, turning the chamber and cocking the weapon.

“I said; get out of here!”

“Yeah, sure! I bet that...thing...can hurt m-”

He aimed at the pony’s front leg and fired. The shell rushed in and burrowed into his flesh. He screamed in pain as he crumpled to the ground.

“John! I thought we weren’t going to do that!” Twilight shouted.

He holstered the weapon, saying, “No...You said that ‘violence ain’t appreciated in these parts’. Sometimes you need to fight violence with violence.”

“Ugh! Fine! You’re impossible to talk to!”

“I could really care less at this point, now, let’s just see how she’s doing...”

John stepped over the bleeding stallion to the cowering mare nearby.

He moved his hand towards her, but pulled it away immediately, and asked, “You okay, Miss?”

The unicorn moved her hooves from her face and looked at him. All she did, though, was respond with a scream, and began scrambling away.

John walked towards her, repeatedly saying, “Calm down! I ain’t gonna hurt you!”

The scared pony shakily raised her hoof towards the bleeding stallion on the ground. “But...Whatever y-you did to...him...”

“Because he was trying to hurt you, Friend. Now, do you think you can tell me what’s goin’ on here?”

“W-well, I was returning to my boutique with some fabrics I had bought when that ruffian attacked me. I have the bags right here, but...”

“Either way, you’re gonna be fine.”

Twilight began walking over to the elegant pony, asking, “Well...do you need any help, Rarity?”

“I-I think I’ll be fine, Twilight, but...who’s your...friend? And what is that Celestia-forsaken abomination for clothing he is wearing?” she asked, pointing at the bounty hunter’s wear.

Angered, John walked towards her, asking, “What kinda problem do you have with my clothes, Friend?”

The fashionista backed herself against the wall, stammering, “D-darling, I am a fashion designer, it’s my job to determine if somepony, or, whatever you are, looks good in. And, let me tell you, that is not something you would want to wear to in public.”

“Well, nobody’s seemed to care for the past couple of hours, so I don’t think it’ll be much of a problem. Either way, you should be grateful, considerin’ that this one here wasn’t bein’ the friendliest...” he snapped back, motioning to the cringing stallion on the ground.

In an attempt to keep the man’s anger from taking over, Twilight Sparkle stuck herself between the two, saying, “Oh! John, I haven’t introduced you, have I?”

Before either two could respond, she began, “John, this is my friend, Rarity. She’s a fashion designer who has had most of her work sent to Canterlot and Manehatten. She has a good eye, so she managed to notice your...clothes...”

“Well, I can see that...But I don’t think she needs to care. I’m just here to do my job so I can see my wife and son again, I don’t really want much in my way.”

“Wife and son? What happened” Rarity inquired.

“None of your business, now, you have a good day. I have some work to do.”

“Oh, but I must know.”

John was becoming annoyed with the mare. “No, you don’t need to know, Friend. What part of ‘None of Your Business’ do you not understand?”

“Please, tell me...” the pony seemed rather intent about finding out about the strange creature’s life. But all it did was bring more anger and frustration to the man.

Marston sighed and shook his head, he pivoted on his heels, and began walking away.

Twilight began trotting ahead to keep up with John, who had continued farther down the road as she finished with Rarity. Once she reached the bounty hunter, she asked, “Um...John...are you alright?”

He looked down at her, and beamed, “I’m fine, I just don’t need anyone goin’ through my private life...”

“Well, I think we should be fine for now, like I said; it’s only been mugging, assault, and break-ins recently, not much else. I don’t know how that’s supposed to create a so-called ‘Uprising’, but...you know...”

“I don’t.”

Before snarking about her statement being rhetorical, she continued down the road with him.

However, John himself was lost in his own thoughts. Worry constantly came through his mind when he thought of Jack, Abigail, and even Uncle. He tried to hold back his feelings of anguish and sadness, the occasional tear rolling down the cheeks of his scarred, weathered face. However, he began to focus once more. Seeing that they had walked much farther down the road. He observed his surroundings; it was a larger section of the town, the buildings around him were much bigger, eventually seeing the bakery that he and Nigel had visited earlier...Nigel...

“Nigel...” John mumbled to himself. The lavender unicorn swiveled her head to look at her partner. “What?”

“Nigel...Nigel West Dickens...It’s been hours since we saw him, that old bastard could be anywhere by now...”

“Is there a problem? I’m sure he can handle himself...”

“That man caused an entire town to chase after us because of that ridiculous ‘Patented Elixir’, I don’t wanna take any chances...”

While the cowboy turned around in a complete circle, he could not see the familiar stagecoach that the eccentric con-man drove. Frustration began to come in place of his worry once more, and he slapped himself in the face. He pulled his hand down, only to be met by a familiar teal unicorn, her brow was furrowed, and she stood in a spread, aggressive stance. John was immediately reminded of the ordeal that had happened that couple of hours ago.

“Uhm....Howdy, Ma’am...” John muttered nervously.

She began stomping towards him, anger burning in her golden eyes. “‘Howdy, Ma’am’ is all you can say?! I was stuck in that bathroom for two hours...TWO HOURS!”

John began backing away from her, with what he had seen over the hours, he was afraid what a magical being such as herself was capable of.

“I thought you were going to help me out. I thought humans were nice, cool, even. But you’re all just a bunch of plot-holes as far as I’m concerned!”

“‘Plot-holes?’”

Twilight motioned him to look down, and shook her flank a little to show what the angered musician had meant.

“Sorry, Friend, but I had some work to do, I couldn’t help you at the time.”

“Oh! Su~ure, of course you couldn’t, because you’re just a-”

Lyra was cut off mid-sentence as bright flash, followed by a thunderously loud noise appeared in the area. Seconds later, a group of grey stallions, seemingly armed to the teeth, running through, screaming, “EVERYPONY GET DOWN!”

A bolt of black flashed past John, who rolled out of the way. He looked to get a better understanding, but it seemed to be a constant hail of energy.

In an attempt to stop the fire, he brought out his Springfield, aimed to the sky, and fired.

The thunderous crack silenced the crowd as the bronze shell sailed through the air. The groupies stopped, and stared at the man.

“Who...or what...are you?” one of them asked.

“The man who’s gonna put a hole in your head if you don’t get outta here.” John replied.

He lowered the rifle, and pointed it to one of the stallions, who was donning black armour with a golden trim. Assuming it was the leader, he cocked the weapon and prepared to fire another shot.

“Do you know who I am? Or what my cause is?” he tauntingly asked.

“No, but chances are that I don’t care...” Marston replied sarcastically.

“Well, let me introduce myself, then. My name is-”

“I don’t care ‘bout your name, Friend, just tell me what’s goin’ on here.”

“Well, we are fed up with the unfairness of the mayor’s control, and we are trying to create an uprising to show her that we mean business.”

“You’re hurting poor, innocent people just to protest. Now, I ain’t one to judge, but that just seems a little unfair, don’t you think?”

“We’ll do what we can, alright?”

John wrapped his finger around the trigger, “Well, you either stop everything you’ll do, or I’ll put a bullet in you.”

“A bullet? What’s a bullet?”

He aimed the rifle at nearby hanging sign, and fired. The shell, followed by a loud “CRACK!”, sailed through and shattered the oak panel. Causing the bottom half to fall to the ground.

“That’s a bullet. Now, you better stop and let these fine folk continue their day, or the next one’ll come for you.”

The stallion backed away, his head hung low. John lowered the rifle from its position, and brought it around his back, holstering it on the intricately-designed leather holster on his bandolier strap.

The stallion then turned around, and began sprinting away, his group following him.

John smirked, looking around to see several astonished ponies staring at him with wide eyes. Lyra and Twilight had returned to him. The mint-green mare seemed less angry, though still noticeably upset.

“Wow...John, I’m amazed...” Twilight mused.

Lyra lowered her head slightly, “Well, I guess I owe you, huh?” she asked.

“You don’t own me nothin’, Friend. Now I just-”

Before he could finish, he saw a black shape out of the corner of his eye. It was Nigel, who was running as fast as he could, for a man in his mid-sixties, at least.

“John! John! John!” the con-artist repeatedly called. He eventually came up to him, he put his hands on his knees. He looked like he was going to vomit from exhaustion, his face was flushed, sweat was pouring down his face.

“What is it, old man?” John asked.

“I think-...I think I saw-...I-...Irish...”

“What?!”

“Irish, he-...got here...somehow...”

The two equines were confused, “Irish? Who’s Irish?” the lavender mare inquired.

“You’ll have to see, but I got a feeling that things are gonna get a lot worse now that he’s here.”

John and Twilight Sparkle had followed Nigel down the road, eventually going into a meadow outside of town, where a horrified, yellow-and-pink pegasus mare was staring at a shape on the ground. They walked over, and, sure enough, a man in ratty clothes, with scruffy facial hair, and a whiskey bottle in-hand was lying on the ground.

They stood over him, he was passed out, probably from alcohol. Marston lightly kicked him in the gut.

The drunk was woken up immediately, sputtering and coughing as he stood up.

It took a while for the man to get an understanding of where he was before he noticed the two men and two ponies.

“Aye, John, Mr. West Dickens, how’re ya’ lads doin’ today?” he asked in a heavily accented voice.

“Nothin’, we’re just wondering what you’re doin’ here.” John replied.

He began looking around again, and that’s when he noticed he was somewhere else. “Well, I was just drinkin’ me bottle of scotch ‘ere at me shack when some ball a’ light hit me, and sent me here! Um...Where are we, ‘xactly?”

“Well, I can only say this: Welcome to Equestria.”

“Equestria? What is th-” he stopped as he noticed the two ponies staring at him with wide eyes.

“That’s uh...A pony, righ-”

“Yep.”

The Irishman was confused and shocked. “T-this can’t be right, Lads, we need ta’ get outta h-”

“Can’t, we’re stuck, Friend.”

Irish returned his gaze to the ponies. The yellow one whispered to Twilight, “Um...Twilight, I don’t want to cause a problem, but...what’s going on?”

With a nervous chuckle, she responded, “Well, these two are John and Nigel West Dickens, from...New Austin...”, pointing a hoof towards the cowboy and salesman.

“And this is...-”

“Irish, me name’s Irish.” he finished.

“Well, this is...Irish. Are you also from New Austin?”

“Aye, but I came from Ireland on a boat when I was just a wee-bit younger.”

“Twilight, I’m scared...” the pegasus whispered.

“‘This another friend of yours, Twilight?” John asked, pointing at her friend.

“Yeah, this is Fluttershy, she lives over here, and I guess she saw Irish here...”

John laughed a little, then said, “Don’t worry, Fluttershy, this man won’t cause you harm.”

No matter how convincing he sounded, nothing could alleviate the fear that the filly had. She simply stared at the three figures.

“Well, anyways, I guess what we’ve done in Ponyville’s over, so now we can head to the other towns, right?” John asked Twilight Sparkle.

“I guess so, but, is this....’Irish’...tagging along?” she asked, pointing her hoof at the drunkard.

“If he wants to-”

“Nah, John, I think I’ll stay ‘ere a bit and get meself settled in a little.” Irish interrupted.

“Oh well, I guess it’s your choice. Anyways, I think we should start headin’ out, Twilight.” John declared.

“Yeah, okay.”

Nodding the group off, the two began walking away, Nigel quickly tagging along. Marston stopped for a moment, though, looking at Irish again, he asked, “You sure you’re gonna be fine here, Irish?”

“Oh, I’ll be fine, Lad, don’t worry ‘bout me!” he replied.

“Okay...”

With that, they began heading back into Ponyville. Irish turned to Fluttershy, asking, “Ya' know where you could get some good booze 'ere, Lassie?”

Confused, she asked, “Booze?”

“Ya’ know, beer, scotch, gin, that stuff?”

“Well, you could talk to Berry Punch, b-”

“Well, alrighty then!” he replied with a smile. And he began walking into Ponyville.

A/N:

Welp, Irish is in there, and don’t worry, he only came in he end, but he’ll become more important in the story as time passes on. ‘Hope you all enjoy!