Thesis

by Pav Feira

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Drama, Princess Celestia
Length: 19387

Twilight Sparkle tries to put her feelings for Princess Celestia into words.

After two years of study under Princess Celestia's tutelage, Twilight Sparkle submits a culmination of what she's learned. When her paper is rejected, she realizes that revisions are in order: revisions to her understanding of herself, and revisions to her thesis.

Equestria Daily

Published 2012-08-01 08:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-10 17:56:01 UTC

May 26

Try as she might, Twilight Sparkle could not enjoy herself at her brother’s wedding. While everypony else danced in the star-lit courtyard, she sat alone at one of the reception tables. The laughter of the guests and the thumping of the music’s bass rang hollow in her ears. Her head rested motionlessly on the table’s surface. A half-nibbled apple fritter and an untouched glass of sparkling apple juice stood guard around her.

“Long day, Twily?”

Twilight Sparkle snapped upright, spilling her flute of juice. She plastered as broad a smile onto her face as she could muster. “Shining Armor! Congratulations again!” She hugged him tenderly. “I’m so happy for you and Cadance. In spite of that whole ‘changeling invasion’ business, this whole week has been absolutely wonderful.”

Shining Armor grinned from ear to ear. He looked out to the dance floor and located his wife, who was dancing with a trio of rambunctious fillies. “Thanks, Twily. That means a lot, coming from you.” As Cadance’s gaze met his, the two newlyweds waved giddily to one another. Shining Armor turned back to his sister, and his chest sank. He nuzzled her gently. “Now, come on. Tell your big brother what’s wrong.”

“Wrong?” Her eyes snapped away from her brother. She levitated the barely-touched apple fritter, studying it as though it had become the most fascinating object in the universe. “Nothing’s wrong. Why would you assume that anything’s wrong? I never said something went wrong.”

“Twilight...”

She sighed. “We can talk about it after your honeymoon. It’s really not that important. Today is the most important day of your life, and it would be incredibly selfish of me to—”

“Hey.” Shining Armor placed a gentle hoof against Twilight Sparkle’s face, turning her to face him. “Twilight, you’re my little sister. Your happiness is just as important to me as my wife’s or my own.” He smirked. “I could never call this the best night of my life if I knew that my little sis was down in the dumps.”

She nuzzled him back. “Thanks, B.B.B.F.F.” She sighed, absentmindedly twirling her empty flute. “I—Where to begin? I guess I should start at the beginning of the week. I had just gotten your wedding announcement. Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” She cracked a weak smirk and poked her brother in the ribs. “Don’t think you’re off the hook for that, by the way. I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me in person.”

“I know, I know,” he laughed. “I’m sure you’ll be telling the grandfoals all about it.”

“Anyway. It got me thinking, I guess.” She fidgeted with the hem of her best mare’s dress. “Marriage. Committing your entire life to another pony. Somepony that you hold closer to your heart than anypony else in the world. It’s quite a statement. A statement of love, I mean. And well, the more that—”

“Don’t tell me!” His eyes lit up mischievously. “You confessed to your secret special somepony.”

Twilight Sparkle felt her stomach drop into her back left hoof. “What?! No! Who told you my secret? I don’t have a special somepony! How did you know that I did? I’m far too busy with my studies for that kind of frivolity. You can’t tell another living soul about this!”

Shining Armor’s head tilted back, letting loose a whole-hearted laugh. “Jeez, hold your horses! You can be a real spaz sometimes, you know that?” He gave her a knowing glance. “It’s a wedding, Twily. Pretty much everypony’s thoughts turn to love at these things. Do you have any idea how many new couples I’ve seen here tonight? I feel like that one prince from the old legend—y’know, the one who invented that love potion. But my own sister!” He pulled her into a headlock, scruffing up her mane with a hoof. “The old grey librarian of Ponyville, bitten by the love bug! Never thought I’d see the day.”

Twilight Sparkle playfully shoved against her brother, trying to escape the noogies and laughing in protest. “Okay! Okay! Sheesh. You don’t need to sound that surprised. And stop messing up my mane; it took Rarity over an hour to get it looking like this.”

“So!” He planted his elbows on the table and rested his head on his hooves, doing his best impression of a gossiping schoolfilly. “Who’s the lucky colt or filly who’s stolen my little sister’s heart? Anypony I know?”

Twilight Sparkle suddenly remembered that there was an incredibly fascinating pastry sitting next to her. “Nope! She’s nopony. You’ve never met her. Or heard of her. She lives in Buenos Mares.”

“Okay,” said Shining Armor, rolling his eyes. “We’ll circle back to that one later. How did you do it, then? How’d you confess your feelings to our mystery mare?”

She felt a heavy weight on her chest, as if she were underwater. A hot flush washed over her face. “The only way I knew how.”

Twilight Sparkle paced around her bedroom in circles. The first few bands of the sunrise poked their way through her window, slowly rendering the room’s candles unnecessary. The sunlight illuminated the chaos that was her bedroom. Amid spilled ink and snapped quills, her floor was covered almost entirely by a layer of parchment. Some pages had early drafts—heavily scratched-out, rephrased, and commented upon. Others had outlines, notes, or directions for what to change between the seventeenth and eighteenth drafts. She had even resorted to stringing the pages together with red thread, visually indicating that the paragraph by the foot of her bed was meant to be interjected right after the postulate at the bottom of the staircase—except that the latter had a giant black X through it.

After a few minutes of reorganizing the physical web, she traced the red thread of the document and located its beginning. With a nervous glance to her bedroom door, she quietly read aloud.

“Dear Princess Celestia,

“The document herein is no ordinary friendship report. I consider this report to be a culmination of the last two years of study—a thesis of sorts. As such, I humbly request that you read this letter in private, where you can avoid distractions, interruptions, and so forth.

“My thesis is this: friendship is a magical and wonderful thing, yet contrary to my original assumptions, it is not the strongest force in the universe.

“Per your assignment, I have spent two years in Ponyville studying friendship. I started out small, with a tight-knit group of five close friends. As the years progressed, my circle of friends grew. I became friends with ponies from Canterlot to Appleloosa. I met unusual ponies, newborn foals, a variety of critters, and even a few rivals, all of whom I am now happy to call my friends.”

Twilight Sparkle frowned. There was a hastily written note at the end of this scroll, but she couldn’t tell if it said to resume on page one hundred and ninety six, or page one hundred and eighty five. After some paper shuffling, she found the proper point to resume from.

“But all this time, something confused me. There was a piece of this puzzle that did not fit. There was one pony who felt strangely different. Despite the number of diverse friends that I was making, there was always a unifying, familiar sentiment between all of them. For this particular pony, the sensations were always inexplicably different.

“The pony was you, Princess.

“Please do not misunderstand. I am eternally grateful for your many years of tutelage, and I treasure our relationship. It is simply that I do not believe my feelings for you can be properly described as ‘friendship.’ I want to spend every day surrounded by my friends, but their absence is never quite as painful as when I’ve been separated from you. I enjoy playing with my friends, attending parties, telling jokes, and so on. Around you, these frivolities seem meaningless; I want the few moments we have together to count for so much more.

“With ‘friendship’ ruled out, I thought about alternative categories. Perhaps you were simply a ‘teacher’ or ‘mentor’? This didn’t fit. I’ve learned so much from my friends in Ponyville, yet I’ve never worried that this dual role would jeopardize that friendship. Perhaps you were more like ‘family’? A ‘second mother’? Unequivocally no. My parents and brother mean so much to me, and you mean so much to me. Yet, these feelings are completely dissimilar.

“With you, Princess, every day feels like a warm spring morning—even during wintry months, e.g. December. With you, I feel lighter than air, as if I could fly alongside you—despite my obvious physical limitation of not having wings. With you, I feel as if the whole of Equestria could slowly melt away, until only you and I remain—ignoring the absurdity of us surviving such a high melting point. It was only just recently that I was finally able to comprehend these quandaries, these rationalizations, and even these emotions, and put them into words.”

The words themselves were not present. This was as far as Twilight Sparkle had made it in her thesis after an all-nighter of draft revisions. She knew now, though, that it was perfect. It stated exactly what she wanted to express, and she knew just how to finish it. She magically filtered through the room’s clutter for an undamaged quill, dipped it into her inkwell, and concluded the final draft.

“Q.E.D., I love you.

“Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

“A love letter!” laughed Shining Armor. “I shoulda been able to guess that.” He threw his foreleg around his sister and pulled her close. “So, has the mystery mare written back yet?”

Her chest sagged. “No, not yet. She only received it yesterday.”

“She did, did she?” He smirked, scanning the dance floor. “If you know that much, then I’d wager she’s in attendance, visiting from... Buenos Mares, was it? Have you seen her face-to-face, then? What did she say to you?”

You have a lot to think about.

“T-Twily!” He caught Twilight Sparkle as her knees gave way. “Hey! Get ahold of yourself.” He gently propped her up, just like he’d originally found her, with her head resting against the table’s surface. Shining Armor rapidly motioned to a nearby waiter. The waiter, presuming that another guest had partied beyond their capabilities, raced over with a large pitcher of ice water and poured them two tall glasses. Shining Armor floated one of the glasses up to his sister’s lips. “Here, drink up.”

Twilight Sparkle took over the levitation from her brother, chugging down the refreshing water, trying to bury her nausea. A cold, clammy sweat seeped up from her skin, dampening her coat. She wiped the condensation across her face, at once cooling herself down and masking the tears that threatened to burst forth.

Shining Armor cringed. “I’m so sorry, Twilight. I should’ve been able to put two and two together.”

“It’s okay. In truth, I was a foal for getting my hopes up like I did. But suffice it to say,” she said, closing her eyes, “she wasn’t pleased with me.”

You don’t know that! When the Princess said that to you, you had just made a terrible accusation against Cadance. Sure, you turned out to be right in the end, but truth be told, you didn’t have any solid evidence at the time. That’s what she was disappointed over. You shouldn’t read too much into it.

You have a lot to think about.

No. Your first instinct was spot-on. She can be cryptic like that; you should know better by now. That scolding was as much about your love letter as it was about your outburst.

You have a lot to think about. Each replay of the rebuke brought a new type of pain—faintness, difficulty breathing, nausea, chills—most of all, a stabbing pain through her chest. Twilight Sparkle covered her face with her hooves, wishing that her mind would stop torturing itself.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. Sometimes, these things just aren’t meant to be,” Shining Armor said with a hug. “Just give her some time. Tensions will be lower, and the two of you can discuss things like grown-ups.”

“I guess you’re right. I mean, between the invasion and the wedding, we’ve hardly said two words to one another. I mean, the most we’ve spoken today was when... when...”

The newlywed couple waved from the castle balcony, receiving a tumultuous cheer from the thousands of ponies who had traveled to Canterlot to behold the royal wedding. From inside the castle, Twilight Sparkle and her five closest friends watched the procession, riding on the waves of high emotions.

She felt a gentle hoof rest itself upon her back. Turning and looking upward, she stared into the smiling face of her mentor.

“This is your victory as much as theirs,” said Princess Celestia. “You persisted in the face of doubt, and your actions led to your being able to bring the real Princess Cadance back to us.”

Twilight Sparkle smiled back. In spite of everything, her brother had married a wonderful mare, and she herself appeared to be back in Princess Celestia’s good graces. Maybe her rejection of my letter isn’t the end of the world, after all. Maybe I can move past all of this.

Princess Celestia closed her eyes, striking a pose which radiated sagely wisdom. She continued, “Learning to trust your instincts is a valuable lesson to learn.” She opened her eyes again, staring straight into her student’s. Twilight Sparkle found herself getting lost in those magenta eyes, floating away on—

“My instincts!” belted Twilight Sparkle. She lifted herself up from the table’s surface, knocking her brother off-balance.

Shining Armor recovered himself. “What? Twily, what are you shouting about?”

“She told me—” Her jaw snapped shut. He was on that balcony. I don’t want him to piece this together. Not just yet. “She told me that there might be a chance after all.”

“Awesome!” Shining Armor playfully nudged her in the ribs. “That’s my little sis. Don’t give up until the fat mare sings. Just promise me one thing?” His jovial smile turned gentler, more sentimental. “Promise you’ll listen to my advice from earlier? Give her some time alone to think. Take things slow.”

She hugged her brother tightly. “Promise, B.B.B.F.F.”

Twilight Sparkle felt awful about lying to her brother on his wedding day, but as she rationalized it, advice should be taken with a grain of salt. His heart’s in the right place, but he doesn’t know the Princess like I do. He doesn’t know that the door is open, if only a crack. This might be my only opportunity to change the Princess’s mind. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled it sharply. I have to act tonight!

The guard who was walking alongside her, upon hearing the loud breath, responded in turn with a noisy yawn. “Tell me about it. Your brother’s wedding was great, really, but I can’t wait for my shift to be over.”

She flinched. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean for my audience request to keep everypony up even later.”

“Don’t worry yourself,” he said with a laugh. “Everypony in the royal guard knows how highly Princess Celestia thinks of you. My sarge told me that she approved your request without a moment’s thought.”

She thinks highly of me. Twilight Sparkle felt butterflies threatening to tear their way out of her stomach. Everypony can see it! I can see it! Can she? Can I help her to see it?

The pair of ponies stopped in front of a set of grand double doors. “And here we are. Not like you need much help finding your way around, really,” he chuckled. “I just ask that, out of respect for the Princess, you keep the late hour in mind.”

“Of course,” she said with a polite curtsy. “Thank you for the escort. I shouldn’t be more than a minute.” Once the guard had turned back toward the entrance, she bit her lip. Still, I hope that we can spend more of the night together. Her ears burned. Not like that! She’s the Princess, for pony’s sake. I just want to be with her. Ack, I mean—

She lightly smacked her forehead with a hoof. Focus. Stick to the plan. She drew a deep breath and knocked lightly on the towering wooden door. Did I knock too softly? She probably didn’t hear—

“Enter, please.”

A shiver ran down her spine. Twilight Sparkle gently nudged the door open, entering into Princess Celestia’s private chambers. A roaring fire was ablaze in the room’s central stone fireplace. Circling around the room was an impressive astronomical mural depicting the stars, planets, and naturally the sun. In the back of the room, the balcony doors were open and letting in a cool evening breeze.

Princess Celestia was seated next to a low coffee table. She had removed her royal crown and slippers, instead wearing a violet silken nightgown. A brush magically ran itself along her flowing, luminescent mane, straightening it before bed. “Ah, Twilight,” she said warmly. “How wonderful to see you. Please forgive my appearance. Today has been such a long day, and I assumed that you wouldn’t be offended by the informality.”

Twilight Sparkle stifled a squeal before it could escape her throat, making it sound more like a hiccup instead. She’s comfortable around me! She feels fine letting her guard down and showing me her true self. She felt heat emanating from her cheeks.

Princess Celestia’s mane floated softly against a breeze that only it could feel. With each gentle stroke of her brush, another lock of hair came to rest along her back. As light from the fireplace danced across her mane, she glowed with a warm aurora. “Twilight?”

She quickly made eye contact with the Princess. “Yes! Yes, Your Highness?”

The Princess motioned to a velvet pillow which rested on the ground beside her. “Come. Sit with me.”

Twilight Sparkle walked next to the Princess, moving in a light daze. The majestic alicorn filled her field of vision as she approached. Even her perfume—lilacs, perhaps—was overtaking her consciousness. She bit her tongue, trying to keep her mind rooted in reality.

Princess Celestia set her manebrush on the coffee table and turned to face her guest. “Now, Twilight, what is it that you wanted to discuss?” She smiled down upon her student.

Don’t screw this up. You’ve got one shot! Make it count! “W-Well, Princess,” she said, “I’m glad that everything worked out in the end. We were able to stop Queen Crysalis, and Princess Cadance and my brother’s wedding was incredible.”

The Princess smiled, closing her eyes. “I too am glad. This was quite a series of events, but in the end, it was love—the love of Cadance and Shining Armor—which saved the day. Theirs is a wonderful example for all of Equestria.”

“That’s just it, Your Majesty.” Twilight Sparkle bit her lip. “There’s something that I still don’t understand. Something that has me terribly confused.”

“Oh?” She tilted her head. “And what would that be?”

Twilight Sparkle felt her chest tightening again. Dozens of voices were screaming in her head, each giving rash, conflicting commands. Her heart banged against her rigid chest, threatening to escape and take Princess Celestia for itself, should her body not comply.

A look of concern came over the Princess’s face. She lowered her head, now sitting nearly eye to eye with her star pupil. “What is it, Twilight? Tell me.”

For the first time in her life, Twilight Sparkle didn’t think.

She wasn’t really aware of the kiss until it was over. It wasn’t until she was pulling away that she realized all of the sensations she was feeling. The soft touch of Celestia’s supple lips against her own. The lightly-sweet taste of her saliva. Celestia’s hot breath gliding across her neck. These feelings were nothing like she expected them to be; they were infinitely superior.

Twilight Sparkle pulled her head back and opened her eyes. She looked up at the Princess, trying to gauge her reaction. She saw... nothing. Princess Celestia’s face was stoic, unphased, and unreadable. Twilight Sparkle was at a loss. Do I continue? Stop? I never made a contingency for her standing around like a statue! She said the first thing that popped into her head: “Well?”

Princess Celestia remained silent, causing her to wonder if perhaps the Princess hadn’t heard her. After a moment, she finally replied. “I had hoped that you would have thought better than to act on this, Twilight Sparkle.”

No. No-no-no. She felt as though a vacuum were sucking all of the air out of the room. This can’t be her answer. She’s the only pony I’ve ever adored! “B-But, Princess!”

“I am touched by the sentiment in your thesis and in... your actions. However, you have to have known that we could never share that type of relationship.”

“Known that—” Twilight Sparkle stumbled to her hooves, awkwardly backpedaling off her pillow. “But today at the wedding! You told me to trust my instincts.”

The Princess rose and walked toward Twilight Sparkle, slowly closing the gap between them. “I had expected your instincts to be better founded in reality and maturity. The Twilight I know and care for wouldn’t leap upon such rash actions.”

Her jaw dropped. Rash? I’ve felt this way about her for years, and she’s calling me rash? She tried to speak her objections, but her voice refused to obey.

“My most faithful student, I am the co-ruler of Equestria, and bound by all of my royal duties. I have lived for thousands of years, and will still be here long after you are gone.” Princess Celestia broke eye contact, unfocusing her gaze upon the bookcase next to them; Twilight Sparkle was attuned enough to catch this subtle change. “A courtship between yourself and I would never be tolerated by society.”

Twilight Sparkle glared at the pillows on the floor. “I don’t care about any of that. I care about you, Princess. Who says we need to get everypony’s permission?”

The Princess sighed and unfolded her wings. Under normal circumstances, her magnificent wingspan would have stolen Twilight Sparkle’s breath away, but these were anything but normal circumstances. “My beloved Twilight, please try to understand. I do care deeply about you. You are one of my most prized students. I have felt truly blessed to watch you grow, learn, and develop into the mare you are today. Your studies of friendship have been a true joy to behold, and have even reminded me of a valuable lesson on one or two occasions. It has been a great honor to know you as well as I do.” She stepped up beside Twilight Sparkle and lowered a broad wing across her back. “However, this is the extent of my feelings right now. I do not—and fear that I cannot—reciprocate the kinds of feelings that you feel for me. It would be unfair of me to let you believe otherwise.”

Please, Princess. No. She stared down at her hooves.

Princess Celestia tightened her wing, pulling Twilight Sparkle in close against her body. “Come now, Twilight Sparkle. Let’s not focus on what could have been. You and I share a truly special bond. While it may not be the love that you seek, it is still a bond that is quite strong and magical.” She smiled and gave her a playful wink. “Perhaps you should start by amending your thesis with this new information?”

Twilight Sparkle felt an emotion bubbling up from within her heart. This sensation was unlike anything she had ever felt toward the Princess. It was not love.

She shoved the Princess away from her, breaking apart the wing-hug. “Are you mocking me?”

Princess Celestia’s ears fell flat. “Twilight? What are—”

“Is this your solution?” She flailed her foreleg about, slashing through the air with each sentence. “Here I am, pouring my heart out to you, and this is your clever response? ‘I’m out of your league’? ‘You ought to know better’?”

“Twilight Sparkle! I—”

“Wait, wait! It gets better!” Twilight Sparkle’s dry laugh echoed against the walls of the bedchamber. “‘Congratulations! Your confession has been rejected by Princess Celestia, almighty ruler of Equestria. Your homework for tonight is to write an essay about how getting dumped on your flank has been the greatest thing to ever happen to you!’” She paused for a moment, waiting for a possible reply. None came.

“Let me tell you something, Princess,” she continued, jabbing her own chest for emphasis. “I love you, alright? Not like how some little filly loves ice cream. Real love. I care about you. I yearn for you. I want to devote the rest of my life to you. I don’t care if some stuffy Canterlot bureaucrat doesn’t approve. I don’t care that you’ll always be busy with royal responsibilities. I don’t care if I’ll only be alive for a sliver of your life. I don’t give a flying feather about any of that.” She punctuated her words with a stomp of her hooves. Even on the plush carpeting, each stomp resonated with a bold thump. “All I care about is you, Princess. Just me and you, together. And if I can’t have your love in return, the least you could do is not treat me like some stupid little filly!” Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. Her anger had sapped all of her strength.

Twilight Sparkle focused her eyes back onto the target of her tirade. Princess Celestia was silent, and her expression was blank, just as before. Unlike before, however, the Princess’s emotions were not unreadable. Twilight Sparkle felt her stomach clamp down upon itself.

“Is that all, Twilight Sparkle?”

Her hind legs collapsed, causing her to crash rump-first to the ground. Her ears curled up flat against her mane. “Princess, I am so sorry.”

“As am I.” Princess Celestia closed her eyes. “I had seen the signs. I had known the risks. I thought that, in the end, your sense of logic and reason would keep you from acting recklessly.”

No.

“Truly, due to my own inaction, I am perhaps more responsible than you are. I had been too afraid to address the issue head-on. Now that it has reached this stage, it is no longer possible to ignore.”

No-no-no, please, Princess, don’t do this.

Princess Celestia stared into Twilight Sparkle’s eyes. The young student swore she could see a depth of sadness in the old teacher’s eyes. “Please believe me when I say that I never wanted for you to suffer. I naively thought that everything could work itself out. But now I can clearly see how much this is tormenting you.”

She reached a hoof out toward her Princess. “Don’t! Please!” she croaked.

“We must do what is best for you in the long-term, even if it is painful in the short-term.” She turned and slowly stepped her way toward her balcony. “Namely, we should both take a step back from this situation, in order to see things more calmly. We should provide you with an opportunity to let your rationality—one of your most admirable traits—guide you once more. You need to gain perspective, yet your current assignment is preventing just that.”

Twilight Sparkle collapsed to the floor. She covered her ears with her hooves, hoping beyond hope that this could somehow prevent the Princess from speaking.

Princess Celestia did not turn back around to face her. “Twilight Sparkle, effective immediately, for one year’s time, you are no longer my student.”

She looked up from the floor at the Princess who was no longer her mentor. She waited for another emotion to overtake her, but none came. She tried to talk, or scream, or cry, yet nothing worked. She couldn’t make any sounds escape her lips.

“At the end of one year, we shall re-evaluate your condition and decide if resuming your studies is wise. Until that time, you are free to live your life as you see fit.” Her mighty wings folded inward, resting against her soft alabaster coat. “Farewell, Twilight Sparkle.”

At last, Twilight Sparkle found a set of muscles which proved to be functional. She rose up to her hooves, turned, and galloped out of the room. The grand double doors flew open with a surge of magic.

Princess Celestia turned at the last possible second, catching one final glimpse of her former prized student before she disappeared through the doorway. Alone in her chamber, she closed her eyes, letting a soft, shaky sigh escape her lips.

Twilight Sparkle sat alone on a park bench. She had only made it a few blocks away from Canterlot Castle before losing the ability to run. She was empty. Her heart was torn asunder. Her mind, normally a whirlwind of plans and analyses, had failed her. Her tear ducts had long since run dry. In a rush, she hopped onto her hooves, leaning over the back of the park bench. After a moment, her stomach too was empty. Shuddering weakly, she wiped her muzzle, leaving a streak of snot, tears, and apple fritter across her foreleg. She curled up onto the bench, too tired to move. The evening air had grown colder; she hugged her tail snugly against her body and closed her eyes. “What should I do?” she quietly asked herself.

“Long day, Twily?”

She snapped her head upright just in time to be gripped in a tight embrace.

“We were so worried about you.”

She pried herself away from the hug and looked up at her brother. “Shining Armor! But how? I watched you leave on your honeymoon.”

Princess Cadance approached her sister-in-law. “Come on, Twilight. Didn’t Shining Armor tell you? We couldn’t run off and enjoy ourselves while our favorite little filly was feeling miserable.”

Shining Armor winked. “Turns out Cadance cared about your situation just as much as I did. When I told her what you told me earlier tonight, she insisted on turning the carriage around and helping you out.” He blanched. “Uh, which, by the way—sorry about telling her your secret like that. Y’know, marriage, and not keeping secrets, and all that.”

Twilight Sparkle didn’t pay heed to her brother’s stammered apology. She turned to Cadance. “But I don’t understand. How did you find me here? How did you know that I...” she said as her eyes dropped to the ground, “that I screwed up?”

Cadance set a hoof gently on her shoulder and smiled. “Oh, just a hunch. Even though Shining Armor said that you had promised to take things slowly, I suspected that you might get carried away and make a move. Knowing Celestia, I can imagine what her answer was, and knowing you, I can imagine how you took the news.”

Twilight Sparkle’s jaw dropped. “How—”

“Wait, what?!” yelled Shining Armor. He stared wide-eyed at Twilight Sparkle. “Sis, you’ve got the hots for Princess Celestia? You never told me that!”

“She didn’t have to.” Princess Cadance smirked. “Love is kinda my thing, remember? I sort of have an eye for this.”

Shining Armor grinned widely. “Wow, my little sister actually put the moves on Princess Celestia. I can’t believe it!” He gently bumped her. “Gotta say, Twily, I’m impressed! That takes some serious guts.” He winked at Cadance. “I guess ‘having a thing for royalty’ runs in the family, huh?”

Princess Cadance gave him a silent, admonishing glare.

He coughed. “Sorry.”

She returned her gaze to Twilight Sparkle. “So you confessed your feelings, but they weren’t reciprocated?” Even though she phrased it as a question, there was a hint of knowledge in her tone.

“Not just that. She told me I was a foal, and punished me.” Twilight Sparkle stared down at Cadence’s hooves. “I’m suspended.”

Shining Armor cringed. “Suspended? Oh no, are you—no, of course you’re not alright. Oh, Twily...” He pulled his little sister close to his chest once more. “You know that we’ll always be here for you, right? Me and Cadance, and Mom and Dad—”

“I know,” she muttered.

“Don’t forget about your friends, the Element-bearers,” said Princess Cadance. “They’ve always cared for you and supported you. They’ll want to help you in your time of need.”

“I know,” she repeated, grinding her hoof against the cobblestone street. “I h-haven’t forgotten them. It’s just—”

“There’s also your life back in Ponyville!” said Shining Armor. “Your dragon assistant, all your friends and neighbors—”

“I know!” Twilight Sparkle stomped her hooves. “They all care about me, and I care about them too. I know.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “But the only reason I went to Ponyville and met any of them in the first place was... because she told me to. Ponyville just has too many memories tied to it now.” She shook her head. “Besides, the feelings that I have for Princess Celestia are—were—truly special. It’s completely different from how I feel about my friends and family.”

Cadance laughed, full-hearted and carefree. “Oh, Twilight. Of course it’s different! But Celestia isn’t the only meaningful pony in your life.”

Twilight Sparkle shook her head rapidly, causing her done-up mane to frizz. “I didn’t mean it like that! My friends are important to me. I love all of them! They’re... they...” She slowly raised a hoof to her mouth.

Cadance drew a gentle smile.

“I love all of my friends,” murmured Twilight Sparkle. She looked at her brother and sister-in-law. “And I love my family.” She frowned. “But, it’s—I don’t—”

“Everypony’s love is different and unique, Twilight. No two ponies feel the exact same way about you. That’s what makes love so special and powerful.” Cadance placed a hoof on Twilight Sparkle’s chin, raising it until they were staring eye-to-eye. “Sometimes, as you just experienced, we wish that one pony could feel a different type of love toward us. Sometimes this is possible; sometimes it isn’t. But even if a pony cannot change the way in which they love you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t currently love you, in their own way.”

With a rush, Twilight Sparkle felt her mind replay the conversation from earlier that night. I do care deeply about you. You are one of my most prized students. I have felt truly blessed to watch you grow, learn, and develop into the mare you are today. “T-That’s what she tried to tell me.” She buried her face into her hooves as the hot sting of tears overtook her eyes. “Oh Celestia, what have I done?”

Princess Cadance cradled her with her forelegs, letting Twilight Sparkle weep into her shoulder. Shining Armor stepped forward and joined them, as the three family members shared a quiet, heartfelt embrace.

After some time, Twilight Sparkle pulled back and wiped a foreleg across her nose. Her eyes remained downward and unfocused. “She was right, wasn’t she? I guess I don’t understand love yet.”

Shining Armor fidgeted, grinding his hoof on the pavement. “It’ll be okay, Twily.”

“That’s why I’ve got to learn.” Life sprang back into Twilight Sparkle’s cheeks. She beamed at her family. “I have so many special ponies in my life. Each relationship truly is unique, and I’ve treasured them, but I don’t truly understand what makes them so important. Not yet.” She looked up at the looming facade of Canterlot Castle. “But I’ll learn. I’ll discover what love truly means to me. And one year from now, I’ll write another thesis.”

“That sounds like a wonderful plan,” said Cadance.

Twilight Sparkle smiled back. “Thank you, both of you.” She playfully pushed against her brother. “Now go; you two need to get back to your honeymoon. And I need to get back to the tower where we’re staying.” She wiped away the last traces of her tears. “After all, my loved ones are waiting for me.”

After wishing them luck and saying goodbye, she parted ways from the newlywed couple. As she trotted down the street toward the place where her friends were sleeping, she risked one more look behind her. Canterlot Castle towered in the distance, glowing under the moonlight. Biting her lip, she turned forward.

May 29

There was a knock at the front door.Twilight Sparkle snapped out of her daydream and fidgeted beneath her bed covers. Rolling her head to one side, she squinted through the harsh glare of sunlight pouring in through her window. The sun’s pretty high. It must be eleven? Eleven thirty?

There was a knock at the front door. Right. I should let them in. She stretched her legs straight up and held that position until she felt the burning of muscles and the soft popping of joints. Hazy blobs of color swam in her vision as she felt blood rushing to her head, driving her more awake, if not more alert. Sufficiently stretched, her limbs flopped back onto the star-speckled sheets. As she gently unscrunched her eyelids, her eyes focused themselves on the ceiling of her bedroom loft, following the rings in the woodwork. This is a public library, after all. My home. Her tree had grown big and strong for years and years, a mighty oak that had withstood the elements. And then, one day without warning, somepony carved out its insides and changed it forever.

There was a knock at the front door. Twilight Sparkle leaned softly to the right, and with a quick twist and rough grunt, rolled off the bed and onto stiff legs. “Spike? Get the door, please?” She hacked from the back of her throat. Reaching to the nightstand, she floated a tissue over to her, demurely spit her phlegm into it, and folded it six times before depositing it into the trash. Oh wait, is today Wednesday? I think he said something about going to Canterlot. Today’s Wednesday, right? She scratched absentmindedly at her abdomen and looked about the room, blinking away the bleariness from her vision. Where’d I leave my calendar? Bottom drawer? No, yesterday I was using it… over by…

There was a knock at the front door. Shaking her mind free, Twilight Sparkle stepped out onto the main room’s landing.

“Twilight? Anypony in there? Olly olly oxen free!” Pinkie Pie’s singsong voice sounded somewhat muffled, coming through the cherry wood of the front door. Twilight heard the rustling of leaves and snapping of branches—there go my rose bushes… again—and then, a familiar face smooshed itself against the front window, grinning broadly. “Hey! There you are!” Pinkie Pie waved her hoof at a mile-a-minute.

“Oh, uh,” she said, wiggling her own hoof weakly in return. “Hey, Pinkie.” An ethereal glow radiated from her horn, and the front door drifted opened.

Pinkie Pie skipped into the library, tracking in a light trail of topsoil behind her. “Heya, Twilight! And how are we feeling on this wonderful”—her eyes drifted to the cuckoo clock on the near wall—“still-morning-but-gonna-be-afternoon-soon?”

“I’m fine.”

“Great!” Pinkie Pie’s gaze danced across Twilight Sparkle’s body from forelock to fetlock. “Cuz, um, I sorta assumed that you weren’t feeling too good, on account of the whole being-locked-in-the-library-for-the-last-few-days-ever-since-we-got-back-from-the-wedding, and the it’s-almost-lunchtime-but-I-think-I-woke-you-up-which-by-the-way-I’m-super-sorry-about-that, and the you-sorta-look-like-you-slept-funny-on-your”—she gave Twilight another once-over—“everything.”

Twilight Sparkle instinctively rubbed her face with a hoof. True to Pinkie’s word, her cheeks felt slack and rubbery. “Oh. Yeah. I’ve been up late the past few nights.” She passed her hoof over her mane, only to discover that it was more unruly than usual. “You know. Reading, studying, that sort of thing.” She sat back on her haunches and rubbed forehoof after forehoof through her hair; the bangs in question bounced out of place as if repelled by magnets.

“Great! So this doesn’t have anything to do with, uh,” she said as her ears drooped, “You-Know-Who, right? It’s just that, on the train ride back home, you told us that everything would be okay. And you’re still saying everything’s okay, which is okay.” She winced and looked Twilight Sparkle in the eyes. “But being cooped up, and not sleeping, and sleeping funny when you do sleep, sure doesn’t seem okay. You can tell us if things aren’t okay, okay?”

Twilight Sparkle broke her gaze from Pinkie’s and bit her lip. “I know, Pinkie. It’s… been pretty rough, but I’ve made it through worse.” She exhaled, feeling her shoulders sag. She tried to force them back into position, but the stubborn muscles refused. She let her gaze fall to the floorboards. “I can make it through this, too.”

“Cool!” Sliding across the floor on her back, Pinkie skidded to a halt nose-to-nose underneath her. “I need to borrow a book.”

“Uh.” Twilight Sparkle blinked a few times at her upside-down face. She opened her mouth again, but stopped, electing to wait for an explanation.

“I was looking for a new frosting recipe.” While Pinkie Pie explained, she fluttered her hooves up at Twilight, looking something like an upside-down doggy paddle. “See, I convinced the Cakes to try out this new chocolate and avocado cake, but none of our frosting recipes are sour enough to go with that.” With an ear-to-ear grin, she planted her hooves on Twilight’s chest and shoved, sliding Twilight across the floor toward the bookshelves.

“That certainly sounds, um, exotic.” As Twilight Sparkle skidded to a rest in front of her shelves, she gazed up at them and frowned. “Still, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to help. I don’t really have many cookbooks here.” She slowly turned back around, while her eyes lingered on the shelves. “The Cakes probably have more—oh come on, seriously?”

“Surprise!” Pinkie Pie’s shout was drowned out as dozens of ponies let loose with kazoos and noisemakers. Confetti rained down from the ceiling, falling upon tables covered in decorable tablecloths and tasty-looking snacks. Upbeat party music blared out of a phonograph, reverberating against the walls of the cloistered library. Taking advantage of the confusion, Pinkie leapt forward and slammed a party hat onto Twilight’s head, causing the latter’s neck to buckle under the force.

Just behind Pinkie Pie, the other Element-bearers cheered on their friend to the best of their capabilities, from Fluttershy’s blushing smile and delicate wave of hoof, to Rainbow Dash performing flips, rolls, and other aerial maneuvers best saved for not-inside-a-library.

Spike laughed from his vantage point on Applejack’s back. “You were right, Pinkie! Twilight didn’t see that coming at all. Just look at her face!” He burst into another fit of laughter, holding onto his gut and nearly losing his balance in the process.

“Seriously?” repeated Twilight Sparkle. She felt a familiar blend of emotions, wherein a warm glow from her heart was met with the start of a migraine developing behind her left eye. “How did you—” Biting down on her tongue in the nick of time, she shook her head and started again. “Why did you throw me a surprise party, out of the blue?”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes went wide. “Oh, I had to.” She placed a hoof over her heart and nodded in a slow and deliberate manner. “It’s in the rules.”

“The rules,” she parroted, deadpan.

“Ya huh. Lookit.” Pinkie Pie reached into Twilight Sparkle’s tail and pulled out an oversized, dusty tome. Setting it on the ground in front of her, and ignoring the yelp from her friend, she flipped open to a bookmarked page and ran her hoof along some of the lines. “See? It’s all right here. Best friend gets dumped by royalty? Gotta throw a party. Dashie breaks her wings? Gotta throw a party. Human arrives in Equestria via magic portal? Gotta throw a party. Princess Luna’s cousin—y’know, that alicorn stallion with the black coat and red mane—travels to Ponyville? Gotta throw a party!” She slammed the book shut and wiggled her hooves above her head. “It’s exhausting! Do you know how many parties I need to throw every single week?”

Applejack nudged Pinkie Pie with her head, pushing her to the back of the pack. “We just want ‘cha to know that we’re all here for you. Yer well-bein’ is important to yer friends—to all of Ponyville, really.” She scratched behind her ear with a hoof, her mane swingly lightly down her shoulder. “We all want our old Twilight back.”

“Thanks, everypony… Wait, all of Ponyville?” Twilight Sparkle looked out at the crowd of mingling ponies gathered in her library as she took a few steps backwards, her breathing accelerating. “Wait-wait-wait, you mean that everypony here knows—”

“Everypony,” interrupted Rarity, “was told that their dear friend was in need of good cheer. The specifics of a lady’s heartache are not presently any of their business.” She walked up alongside her and smiled delicately, her voice light and songlike. “You can deliver your public statement when the time is right, but today is about Twilight Sparkle taking care of herself.”

“We just want you to be happy, Twilight,” said Fluttershy. She pawed at the wooden floor.

Twilight Sparkle felt a hot warmth blossoming from underneath her cheeks. “Thank you, everypony. Thank you so much.” She pulled them all into a six-pony group hug, amid a chorus of “aww”s. “It means so much to have you all here.”

“So,” Rainbow Dash asked after a few seconds of hugging, “if we’re already doing the group hug thing, does that mean that the party will actually be fun?”

“Don’t spoil the moment, Dash.” Applejack’s response was calm and metered.

“What?” Rainbow protested. “Who wants to be all mopey when we’ve got a sweet Pinkie party? I mean, having a good time was the plan, wasn’t it?”

Applejack sighed and detangled herself from her friends so that she could look Rainbow Dash in the eye. “Yes, Rainbow, but as we explained, these things take time. Ya can’t—”

As Applejack and Rainbow Dash were getting fired up, Twilight Sparkle felt a hoof tugging at her withers. “Excuse us, ladies,” said Rarity. “Twilight and I are going to help ourselves to some of these delightful-looking hors d'oeuvres.” Rarity pulled her away from the others before anypony—let alone Twilight—had a chance to object.

They trotted over to the sugary buffet at the far side of the library. Rarity immediately went to work, placing a dainty arrangement of bite-sized truffles onto a plate and filling two teacups with some type of purple punch. Twilight Sparkle stood two steps behind her in line, watching wordlessly as she went about her business, then followed her to the seating area. In front of the bookshelves lining one wall, a row of small tables had been set up, adorned with frilled white tablecloths and flanked by pairs of velvet seat cushions. While the music and chatter were still overpowering, there were at least fewer ponies here than in the center of the party, making it more conducive for a private conversation.

“I must say, Twilight,” said Rarity as soon as they sat down upon the cushions, “you did catch me quite by surprise.”

“Huh?” Twilight Sparkle looked up, trying to read her face. She seemed happy, at least: the smile, the tilt of the head, the little mischievous twinkle in her eye. There was something else in that expression, but Twilight couldn’t put her hoof on it. That was always Rarity’s specialty anyway, not mine. “Surprised how?”

“You and her, of course!” She leaned over the table, dropping her voice to a conspiratory whisper and giving Twilight’s hoof a playful nudge. “The secret to gossip is having a keen eye for brewing scandal. I really pride myself on that sort of thing, you know.” Propping her elbows on the table, she rested her head on her hooves and smirked. “And then, what do I discover, but that one of my dearest friends was plotting a confession to her long-term mentor, the ruler of all Equestria?” Her starry-eyed look turned past Twilight Sparkle, fixated on some spot beyond the library wall. “Why, I don’t know if I should be praising you or chiding myself!”

Twilight looked down at the cup of punch beneath her, feeling the occasional snap of a fizzy bubble on the tip of her muzzle. “Not much to praise,” she muttered. “I messed everything up.”

Pouting her bottom lip, Rarity slid her cushion around the table until she was able to wrap a leg around Twilight’s shoulder. “Oh Twilight, I know it feels that way now. It’s understandable; one's first heartache is always difficult to overcome. And losing your studies at the same time… Why, that would be difficult enough on its own.” She tilted her head to the side, a small smile on her lips. “Still, Twilight, you mustn’t overlook the silver lining.”

Twilight Sparkle stared at Rarity as if her horn had grown its own horn.

“Closure, darling.” Rarity squeezed her close, giving her a faceful of beautifully-conditioned mane in the process. “The heartache of rejection is positively brutal, but to live life without knowing? Caught in a possibility, no hope for a definitive answer? Believe me, Twilight, that is no way to live. But now you can carry on in peace, knowing that you gave it your all.”

“My all?” Twilight tilted her head askance, her brow furrowing.

“I simply mean that you are a pony in control once more.” Rarity’s blue aura surrounded her teacup, lifting it to her lips. “I know that recent thoughts must be at the forefront of your mind right now, but just think: without any assignments weighing you down, you could travel the world! Write a manuscript! Expand the library!”

“Mmm,” she hummed in reply, shaking her head. “We already do that sort of thing all the time. Fitting in time for my studies wasn’t that hard as long as I kept a schedule.”

“Twilight Sparkle.” Rarity scoffed, rolling her eyes skyward. “You once tried to move our spa date to four in the morning because, in your words, it was more optimal.”

Twilight raised her hooves defensively. “All I meant is that the four A.M. time block is highly underutilized. Besides, starting the morning off with—”

“Yes yes, dear, I do remember our lengthy discussion on the point.” Tittering, she levitated a small dark chocolate truffle with raspberry glaze swirled atop it and took a demure nibble. “My point was, minor social faux pas aside, you’ve well-mastered the art of time management. And now, the reservations on your time have greatly dwindled.” She tilted her head, letting her silken mane tumble down her shoulder. “Do you see?”

A wince pulled Twilight's lips askew. “I guess. With more free time, and effective time management, I could finish tons more work and still have time for socializing. I know, just…” Twilight brought a forehoof to her temple, as her ears sagged lifelessly. “The one ‘project’ that I want to work on, I can’t, which is the reason I have so much time on my hooves in the first place.” She let a deep, airy sigh escape her chest.

Rarity placed her hoof atop Twilight’s. “Yes, Twilight. I cannot look you in the eye and tell you that things are better now. But they are different. And sometimes, a change of scenery is exactly the muse we need to start a new chapter in our lives. Surely, there must be something aside from your studies that you wish to pursue?”

She absentmindedly flicked her hoof at the lace border of the tablecloth. “Only one thing.”

“Oh?” Rarity’s tone was light and encouraging. “And what would that be?”

The tablecloth’s swinging slowed and finally came to rest. She looked up at Rarity, a light frown playing at her lips. Rarity’s visage was a perfect smile, a gentle tilt of the head, both ears forward and attentive, unmoving save for a few blinks of her eyelids.

But now you can carry on in peace, knowing that you gave it your all.

“Rarity,” Twilight started, her tail curling around her haunches, “I really loved her.”

It was barely there—this was Rarity’s forte after all—but it was there. The double-blink, the twitch of the left ear. It probably helped that Twilight had known her for years, else she might have missed the signs altogether. True to form, Rarity recovered in a fraction of a second. “Of course, darling! I didn’t want to linger on the topic; I knew how tender that subject must still be.”

“I know that you said the first rejection’s the hardest, but…” Twilight reached up, nudging her hors d'oeuvres plate with a hoof. “I can’t just pretend that I never felt anything. That I still don’t.”

Rarity ran a hoof up through her mane, flicking the tips with a bit of extra flourish. “N-No, of course not, Twilight. I know that your confession was... heartfelt and serious.” Her eyes danced in front of Twilight, sneaking a few rapid peeks toward the center of the room. “I can imagine that your heart is in a very fragile state right now.”

Her frown deepened. “Uh, yeah. Why are—”

“Hey there, party ponies!” Pinkie Pie hopped up from behind Twilight. By some small miracle, a tray of drinks remained atop her head unspilled, bounce after bounce. “How we liking the party? Those chocolates are really good, am I right?”

At length, Twilight managed to tear her gaze away from Rarity, turning her frown to Pinkie instead. “It’s… Yeah, we’re okay here.”

“I could actually, ahem, use another drink.” Rarity cleared her throat a few times for effect, before levitating a new cup of punch off Pinkie’s head. She quickly brought the punch to her lips.

“Totally! Lemme know what you girls think. I kinda sorta had to improvise since they were out of grapefruits in the market, so I used blood oranges instead, so I guess you could call this a new recipe—which totally reminds me! Omigosh, Twilight!” She wrapped a foreleg around Twilight, planted herself cheek-to-cheek, and turned her head until the both of them were looking at the rear room of the library. “We’re starting up a game of Pin the Pony on the Tail in a few minutes, and you’ve gotta check it out. I ran it through my focus group, and we all agreed that it’s no fair that that poor pony is the one getting pricked with the tail all the time. This new party game is gonna spice things up!”

“Sure, Pinkie. That sounds—” Twilight pried herself away from Pinkie’s cheek, turning to look at her with arched eyebrow. “Focus group?”

She giggled and bumped Twilight’s shoulder with a hoof. “Pound and Pumpkin, duh.”

“Right.” Twilight shook her head. “Anyway, it sounds fun. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Quite so, Pinkie Pie. Thank you again for the refill.” Rarity nodded politely to Pinkie; she returned the nod before pronking back into the crowd of ponies. “Anyway, Twilight, where were we?”

Twilight Sparkle opened her mouth.

“Right!” Rarity turned herself around atop her cushion, facing Twilight properly once more. “We were discussing how you felt that she could well have been your special somepony.” Despite Twilight’s wincing reply, Rarity pushed forward and wrapped a foreleg across her chest. “There are few pains greater, Twilight. No meager platitude will be able to fix a broken heart. However, believe me when I say that you are a strong individual, Twilight Sparkle.” Rarity nodded firmly, eyes closed, muzzle high. “A case of heartache shall not set back the same pony who just took down the queen of the changelings. Why, before you know it—”

“Rarity.”

Rarity jolted in her seat. Eyes snapping open, she fixed her gaze back onto Twilight. “Yes, dear?”

“Do you think that I was…” Twilight felt her insides twist and flip. Pushing a hoof to her gut helped just a little, but this merely treated the symptoms, not the disease. She shook her head side-to-side. “Nevermind.”

“Twilight?” Rarity leaned in closer, worry written across her brow. “Is something the matter?”

“I’m fine.”

Rarity considered her in silence. Her tongue darted out, quickly whetting her thinned lips. “Twilight… I haven’t said anything to offend you, have I?”

“Offend?” Offering a small smile, Twilight Sparkle shook her head. “No, why would I be offended?”

“Ah. Yes, of course.” Rarity did not move, save for the appearance of a frown, as she continued to stare face-to-face with Twilight. Then, in a blur of white, she wrapped her legs around Twilight Sparkle and pulled her close, burying Twilight’s face into her mane. The two sat this way for some time, Twilight needing to lean against Rarity to keep her balance at the awkward angle. “Twilight?” she asked at length.

“Mmm?”

“I meant what I said. You are a mare of incredible inner strength. I just… It would be such a terrible waste if you were unable to move forward from this.” Rarity inhaled deeply, Twilight ebbing and flowing with the movement of her chest. “She wouldn’t want that either, Twilight.”

With a few small nods, Twilight pulled back, leaning her way out of the embrace.

Head hanging low, Rarity looked up at Twilight from the upper edge of her vision. She was still wearing the same pout from most of their conversation, but there was something odd about it, in Twilight’s mind. Her skin sagged at odd points; there was no longer the usual gleam in Rarity’s eyes. “Forgive me, Twilight. I fear I spoke out of turn.”

“No,” Twilight said with a tiny shake of her head. “No, you didn’t. It’s okay, Rarity. I know you didn’t mean… anything.” She regarded her platter for a moment, and the small stack of chocolate bites that remained on it. “I, uh… Pinkie’s waiting for me, so…”

Rarity gave Twilight Sparkle one last reserved smile. “Of course, Twilight. Don’t let me keep you,” she said, waving her along with a hoof. As Twilight trotted off toward the rear of the library, feeling her chest constrict on her, the sound of Rarity’s voice followed after her. “This is your party, after all.”

Twilight tucked her ears flat.

“Wow! Nice job, Rainbow Dash!”

From the side of the room, Twilight Sparkle watched on as Rainbow Dash pulled the blindfold down from her eyes. Rainbow blinked a few times and studied the poster of an inexplicably jubilant earth pony hanging on the wall in front of her. She turned to Pinkie Pie.

“Uh, okay.” Her voice was flat and measured, at least by her own standards. She turned her head to the poster. Then back to Pinkie. “How can you tell that, exactly?”

“Easy!” Pinkie Pie reached out and touched the poster’s flank. As she pushed on a slight bump in the paper, it smoothed itself flush to the wall, then sprung back out as she released. “The tail’s right about hereabouts! So that means you won! You pinned the pony on the tail!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes in exaggerated fashion. “Pinkie, you do know that we can’t see the tail when it’s underneath the poster, right?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s not a good reason to keep things the way they are, Dashie.” She grasped onto Rainbow’s hoof and pressed it against the bump of the poster. “Just because the tail has gone on top of the poster for years and years doesn’t mean that it should stay that way forever and ever. That’s the gambler’s fallacy.”

“The what-now?” Rainbow Dash leaned back, trying to wrestle her foreleg out from Pinkie’s hold.

Applejack approached Twilight Sparkle’s side, casting a leery eye as Pinkie continued to verbally bombard Rainbow Dash. “Uh, Twi? You got any idea what Pinkie’s yammering on about?”

Twilight hummed a soft note in reply. “I sort of made the mistake of lending her a book on logical reasoning a few days before the wedding. Figured it might help her be a bit more rational.” She turned to Applejack and gave a half-lidded stare. “Of course, now she's making arguments that are half-logical and, well, half-Pinkie.”

Applejack snickered good-naturedly. “Yep. That’s our Pinkie Pie.”

“Mmm hmm,” was Twilight’s vacant reply. She looked back to the debate unfolding in front of the poster. Pinkie Pie, apparently, was supporting her argument with pie charts.

“And you’re our Twi.” Applejack nodded to herself, eyes closed.

Twilight Sparkle creased her brow. “I… am.” She looked to Applejack again, studying her face. “I mean, if you’re worried that I got replaced by a changeling during the invasion, I could always take a test.”

“Pfft!” Applejack slapped her hoof on the ground, overcome by a fit of giddy laughter. “Not our Twi ‘cuz… That’s a good one.”

Twilight blinked.

“Oh. Uh…” Taking notice of Twilight’s lack of reaction, Applejack straightened her hat atop her head. “I mean, no. Ya don’t need to take any test. I know you’re our Twi.”

“Right, you said that.” Twilight frowned and shifted her stare askance. “Is there something on your mind?”

She gulped visibly. “Well, just, how’re ya feelin’, now? Better? With the whole party and...”

“I’m fine.”

“Cuz, if you’re feelin’ better, I’d rather not upset the apple cart,” she continued. “We could always get into this some other day, when you’re feeling more like yerself.”

“Applejack.”

Applejack let out a strained sigh. “Well, if you insist…” Her voice came out hoarse and croaking; she cleared her throat. And faced forward once more.

Twilight Sparkle tilted her head, trying to make eye contact with the skittish mare beside her. Seriously, what’s gotten into her? Whatever it is, it can’t be so bad that she’d—

“So.” Applejack gulped again. “You and, uh… mares, huh?”

Oh no.

“Those were quite the bombshells ya dropped on the train ride back.” Applejack forced a chuckle from her chest. “Rarity was sayin’ that some ponies have a sixth sense for this sorta thing, but… Heh. Guess this one flew right over my head.”

Twilight swallowed, feeling a clammy sensation spread across her skin. “I mean, I suppose I was… not really forthcoming.” I didn’t even really realize, until…

“Well, in fairness,” Applejack said with a shrug, “Rarity’s a touch more worldly than yours truly, on account of all them Canterlot types she socializes with.” Gazing upward, she tapped a hoof against her teeth. “Shoot, aside from present company, the only other ponies that I really know well are my Auntie Apple Turnover and Auntie Rosy Glow.”

“Wait.” Twilight Sparkle blinked, head cocked to one side. “Those were your aunts who visited two months back? You invited us over for breakfast? Made us apple-and-cinnamon pancakes?”

“Yup, them’s the ones.” Applejack smiled.

“Oh,” said Twilight. She paused, running her tongue along the inside of her teeth. “Huh.”

Applejack tried to hide a chuckle behind her hoof. “I’m guessin’ you don’t have that sixth sense either? You weren’t wondering why I had two of my aunties visitin’ but no uncles?”

“Well…” Twilight looked upward, calling their breakfast back into memory. “No, honestly. It didn’t seem important.”

“Twilight? Never change.” With a grin, Applejack bopped her on the shoulder with a hoof. Then, like a candle by an open window, the smile flickered and died. She faced forward once more and repeated, “Never change…”

The party chatted and played around them, while Twilight studied Applejack in silence. For her part, Applejack had her jaw set rigid, staring straight ahead save for an occasional flick of her eyes in Twilight’s direction.

“So…” Twilight Sparkle let the word hang; Applejack didn’t move so much as an eyelash. “We’re good, then?” This got Applejack to study the floorboards out the corners of her eyes, but nothing further. Twilight swallowed the rising lump in her throat. “Just, it really seems like something’s bugging you.”

“It’s just…” Applejack averted her gaze further, rubbing a hoof along the inside of her elbow. “We didn’t know.”

The background chatter of the party guests faded, drowned out by the thumping of Twilight’s heartbeat ringing in her ears. Staring wide-eyed at Applejack, she finally managed to whisper, “I… I didn’t think it was important.”

Applejack shook her head vigorously. “It don’t matter! I mean, not for that. I told ya, you’re still you. You haven’t changed, it’s…” She pulled the hat off her head, burying her face inside it. “Shoot, I’m all jitters. This is all coming out wrong.”

Biting her lip, Twilight approached Applejack and placed a hoof atop her shoulder. “AJ… I’m your friend. Please, I want to understand what’s upsetting you.” She tried to force her lips into a smile, half-succeeding. “Maybe I can help put your worries to rest?”

Applejack moved her hat back to its rightful place and nodded in reply, but her face remained just as downcast as ever. “Thanks, Twi. I’m sorry, lemme try another way,” she said, her voice somber and trudging. “It’s just, well, Rainbow Dash.” Looking up, she pointed to the blindfolded friend in question, who was currently hanging an upside-down pony poster in front of a window, making a makeshift curtain out of it. “She’s the best flyer in these here parts, and she’ll be a Wonderbolt someday. Rarity’s an affably obnoxious dressmaker with her sights set on Canterlot. Fluttershy’s just ‘bout the sweetest pony you’ll ever meet, and every critter for miles around knows it. Pinkie’s… y’know. Pinkie.

“Twilight Sparkle was the well-intentioned librarian of Ponyville who just-so-happened to be raised and mentored by the Princess.” A pained wince crossed her face, slurring her words ever so slightly. “And now, years later, I learn that she was anglin’ for a different sorta relation altogether.”

Twilight’s jaw hung agape. “Applejack!” She managed to restrain her yelp as she cast a wary glance around the room. None of the party guests seemed to be paying them much mind. “I took my studies seriously! It wasn’t just some”—she brought a hoof near her face as it scrunched up—“some scheme to get close to her.”

Applejack held up her own hoof to Twilight, furrowing her brow. “And I wasn’t sayin’ otherwise. But ya can’t be tellin’ me that the two had nothin’ to do with one another. Look.” Shaking her head, she continued, “It wasn’t just some love letter you wrote her.”

A cold chill ran down her back. “AJ, what are you saying?”

“You told us it was done up like one of your reports on friendship. What’d you call it? Your ‘thesis’?” Applejack turned to face her full-on, the library’s lights sparkling in her eyes. “Is that really how you thought this’d work? That one day you’d graduate, and the next day the two of you’d be married?”

Twilight took a step back. She felt the wind getting sucked out of her lungs. Gasping for air, she motored her jaw up and down, trying to form a word. Any word.

“I’m sorry, Twi.” Applejack scuffed her hoof on the floor, her jaw jutted to the side. “I ain’t trying to be nasty. Honest. Just tryin’ to wrap my head ‘round this all.” Her chest rose for a second, and fell. “Sure as you’re born, I’m tryin’.”

“It’s…” Twilight found her voice in that instant, forceful and without anything to say. “Look, you…” She let loose a quick growl before inhaling deep from her diaphragm. “I’m not a foal. Okay? I understand that my, you know, my confession must’ve been… sudden for her.” But I never thought she’d go so far. “But no, I didn’t expect to just sweep her off her hooves, run away together, and have two-point-five foals. That wasn’t the point; it never was. I just… wanted her to know.” She squared her shoulder and stared eye-to-eye with Applejack. “My feelings are real. E-Even now. And it was important that she knew.”

“Twi,” said Applejack, her voice soft as a filly half her size, “what was she supposed ta say to that?”

She licked her lips. “Well, maybe… Maybe not yes, not right away.” She felt a strong burning sensation emanating from the tips of her ears. “But, I… when somepony confesses from the bottom of their heart, even if you don’t say yes to them, you can’t… I mean.” She tore her eyes away, electing to stare at the floorboards instead. “You’d feel happy, wouldn’t you?”

“Me?” was Applejack’s hollow reply. “You’d wanna know how I’d feel if you just dropped a big ol’ love letter in my saddlebags, here ‘n now?”

“AJ, c’mon. I didn’t mean y—” Her eyes bulged as she bit down on her tongue. Hard. “I mean! You’re a terrific friend, don’t get me wrong! All of you girls are, but…” She risked a soft smile. “Dating? That’d be weird, right?”

Applejack looked her dead in the eye and spoke just above a whisper. “But romancin’ yer teacher. That’s normal.”

Twilight Sparkle opened her mouth to reply. Her mouth remained open. She looked back at Applejack, cheeks sagging, feeling her insides disintegrate.

“Twilight! Twilight!” Pinkie Pie bounded up to her, tugging her about the withers. “Rainbow’s done so that means it’s your turn again! Ooo, this’ll be so great.”

“P-Pinkie, wait!” Twilight sputtered, steadying herself against the pulling. She turned back to Applejack, and saw the earth pony’s head hung low, her Stetson obscuring her face completely from view. Twilight’s throat clenched down on itself, and she stared in silence as Pinkie Pie slowly dragged her across the room.

Eventually, Twilight Sparkle emerged from the back room. Pinkie Pie had insisted that Twilight play Pin the Pony on the Tail until she was “filled with funification,” so she smiled, and she laughed, and she thanked Pinkie, until she was free to leave. By that point, Applejack had cleared out of the room altogether. The last words Applejack said to Twilight were rattling around in her head as she trodded back into the main portion of the library. She wracked her brain for the clever retort that would explain just how wrong Applejack was, but her mind refused to stir, inert until she felt a hoof tap down on her back.

“Yo! Twilight, wait up.” Rainbow Dash glided past, pivoted in midair, and hovered just in front of her. Rainbow’s ear were alert and her head tilted, the faintest of frowns on her lips. “Where’re you off to?”

Exhaling, she looked up to Rainbow and summoned up another smile. “Nowhere, really. Just… wanted to get some more punch.”

Rainbow crossed her forehooves and beat the air about her with her wings. “Really? Cuz to me, it sorta looked like whatever AJ said to you really got under your coat.”

That was enough to make her smile melt to the floor. Twilight drudged past Rainbow, gently bumping her aside as she made her way toward the library’s staircase.

“I mean,” Rainbow Dash called after her, “I’m right, right?”

“I’m fine.”

“Clearly,” sighed Rainbow Dash, rolling her eyes. She zipped back into the lead and landed in front of Twilight Sparkle’s path. “Look,” she said while jerking her head upward, “I know that moping in bed for the past three days must’ve been a blast, so you must be really looking forward to another three days of it.”

A low grumble emanating from her throat, Twilight danced her eyes from side to side. Her friend stood in front of her, the throngs of party goers mingled on her right, and a sagging bookshelf covered the wall on her left. With a weighty sigh, she met Rainbow Dash’s rose-colored eyes. “Or?”

“Orrr,” Rainbow Dash led her with a cheeky grin and a waggle of her hoof, “we could get on to the good stuff.”

She drew herself up to full height, snapping her head to attention, all the better to stare at Rainbow Dash with an arched eyebrow. “The good stuff?”

Rainbow Dash blinked a few times before returning Twilight’s stare with one of her own, though hers was half-lidded, and the weight of it caused her frame to sag. When Twilight didn’t relent after a few seconds of staredown, Rainbow did. “So, you made this big ol’ confession, right? And she sorta brushed you off with a few feeble excuses, right?” The gaps between her sentences drew longer and longer, while she kept her eyes fixated upon Twilight. “And it was super crappy, but you’ve had time to regroup, right? So now that you’re feeling fine—hey, hey, you said it,” she said, preemptively raising her hooves. “Now that you’re feeling fine, it’s time, right?”

Forcing herself to swallow, Twilight turned her head toward the bookshelf. Her tail brushed lightly against her hind legs as she spoke. “Dash. I’m… I’m not sure I’m ready to just move on like that.”

Rainbow Dash blinked. And blinked again. Then her hoof met her forehead with a resounding smack. “Guhhh,” she groaned, drawing Twilight’s gaze back up to her. “I wasn’t talking about quitting, egghead.”

“What?” Twilight furrowed her brow and searched Rainbow’s expression.

Which was easy, because Rainbow’s eyes were radiant, a wide grin rode on her face, and one hoof was posed triumphantly overhead. “Isn’t it obvious? You go after her! Ya do the whole melodramatic love confession or whatever, and then once she sees things your way, she’ll have to say yes!”

Except I already tried that. She shook her head, sending strands of pink and purple hairs cascading over her eyes. “I, uh… I never exactly took you for a romantic, Rainbow Dash.”

“Huh?” Rainbow tilted her head and twitched an ear. “Oh, nah, romance schmomance. I'd take flying over messing with that nonsense, any day of the week.” She rolled a hoof encouragingly to Twilight, though her expression was listless. “I mean, sure, you’d be putting on the moves, working your magic, whatever. So that’s romance, I guess. I just wanna help you snag your mare, that’s all.”

Twilight Sparkle jerked her head back as if she had touched her nose to a hot pie tin. “Hold on, snagging? Rainbow, you do not just snag the Pri—” She cast a quick look to the ponies standing just off to the side of them. “Snag her. That is completely inappropriate!”

“Why?” Rainbow protested, forelegs spread wide. “This is Twilight Sparkle we’re talking about here. The pony who defeated Nightmare Moon, and Discord, and that parasprite invasion!”

“Technically, we didn’t—”

“You’re pretty much the biggest up-and-coming mare in Ponyville! Well, one of the biggest, anyway,” she said, buffing a hoof against her chest. “So why not? If she’s gonna have anypony for a marefriend, it oughta be you, right?”

“Rainbow, look. I appreciate what you’re trying to do.” Twilight drew her face taut and looked out in the crowd. She could make out Fluttershy at the front nook of the library, smiling and making small talk with Applejack. “But it’s too late. I blew it.”

“So? I crash and burn all the time—with stunts, not romance, not that I’d care anyway—and that never stopped me. Just means you needa try again: twice as hard, twice as fast, twice as awesome! Look, here’s the plan.” Rainbow Dash wrapped a hoof around Twilight’s back and swept a hoof before both of them, pointing to some fantastic vision that only she could see. “First, we toss a third pony in the mix. Probably get Rarity to find somepony. Somepony who’s competition but, ehh…” She wiggled her hoof side-to-side. “They have garlic breath, or something.”

“Rainbow, I said I appreciate it, but I don’t need help with this,” said Twilight, feeling her ears sag flat against her head. “Just let me—”

“And then she tastes the lunch you made, and realizes it’s made with love, or whatever.” Rainbow Dash continued undeterred, a hoof perched underneath her chin. “Course, you can’t cook worth squat, but we can just get Pinkie to make it for you.”

“Rainbow, please.” Putting more edge into her voice, Twilight sharpened her gaze at Rainbow. “Just drop it, okay?”

“And then, just when it looks like she’s gonna take the other pony to the dance-thing, she hears something at her window. And guess who it is?” Rainbow reached down and lifted Twilight up by her forehooves. “Twilight Sparkle, holding a phonograph over her head, blasting a—”

“I said enough!” Tucking her head, Twilight put a forehoof on Rainbow’s chest and pushed her away.

Rainbow Dash recovered her balance in a few steps, well before falling or crashing into the nearby ponies. But the damage was done. Rainbow stared wide-eyed at her chest, placing a hoof there as if to confirm the shove was real. Some of the nearest ponies turned their gaze to the pair, murmuring indistinctly.

Twilight’s eyes flicked between the faces of several of her neighbors. No. Stop looking. Please, I didn't... Nothing’s happening. The numerous eyes drilled into her, triggering the faint taste of bile at the back of her mouth, but she sucked down a few lungfuls of air and faced forward. “I’m sorry, Rainbow. I… I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Ya think?” Rainbow’s eyes dilated as she called out, her mouth firmly bent to a frown. “Jeez, Twi, what got into you? I was only trying to help.”

“It’s not that simple. She said that…” Twilight rubbed a hoof to the base of her neck, trying in vain to unknot her muscles, while also trying to codify her words for the sake of the onlooking crowd. “I mean… I have a year. Next year, I can…”

“You’re gonna wait a whole year?” whined Rainbow, hooves outstretched. “Come on, mare up, would’ja? Stop overthinking for once and just get out there.”

“Not if I can’t prove myself first!” Twilight said with a resounding stomp of her hoof. With that stomp, her resolve drained through her like a bolt through a lightning rod, leaving only a cold, fragile realization in its wake. “I have to do this, Rainbow. If I don’t wait, if I just rush in again, she’ll think that she was right all along. I have to prove her wrong. Prove that I’m ready.”

“Twi?” Applejack pushed her way through the throngs of ponies. Her eyes fixed squarely upon Rainbow Dash with a burning intensity. “Y’all doing okay over here? Need a moment to yerself?” Rainbow Dash, for her part, raised both forehooves and mouthed a few silent protests to Applejack.

“No, AJ, it’s alright,” Twilight said, motioning her down with a hoof. As Applejack obliged, a number of the onlookers turned away, resuming their original conversations. Twilight relaxed the muscles in her chest, then said to Applejack, “We were just talking.”

Applejack grunted, not taking her eyes off Rainbow Dash.

“Hey, all I was saying is that waiting is dumb,” Rainbow protested. “Twilight should go talk with, uh... y’know, What's-Her-Face and get her to change her mind.”

Twilight released a sigh from deep within her gut. Thank Celestia she didn’t say Celestia.

“And I’m sure she’ll love to hear yer thoughts another time, Rainbow,” said Applejack, taking another step closer and furrowing her brow, “but now ain’t the time. The point of this here party was to take Twi’s mind off such things.”

“You’re one to talk.” Rainbow Dash matched Applejack step for step, the two ponies standing only a few centimeters apart. “Your so-called advice nearly sent her back upstairs!”

Applejack cast a quick look in Twilight Sparkle’s direction. “That… You’re right, Rainbow.” With a sigh, she scuffed her hoof on the wooden flooring and peeked back out under the brim of her downturned hat. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have be pesterin’ her tonight, and I’ll say it again, but I’m sorry, Twi.” Her apology issued, Applejack turned back around and leaned strongly toward Rainbow Dash once more. “But that don’t permit ‘cha to make a bad situation worse, Rainbow Dash. Just let it lie.”

“No,” Rainbow said, her voice turning louder with a high nasally pitch. “C’mon, Applejack, she needs to do this. You know that she needs this before she’ll get back up on her hooves.” Jabbing a hoof at her own chest, she continued, “And I’ll fly to Tartarus sooner than let Twilight freakin’ Sparkle fizzle out over some stupid—”

“Enough.”

Rainbow Dash and Applejack both spooked and whirled around to face Twilight and her soft monotone. “Oh hailstones!” swore Rainbow. Her wings flittered by her side as she stammered a reply. “Twilight, c’mon, I didn’t mean ‘stupid’. I mean, not like that. I didn’t mean you or her, just that it was—”

“Would’ja stop it already?” Applejack hissed. “Yer only drillin’ more holes in the apple basket. What Twilight clearly needs is for—”

“Enough. Please.” Twilight Sparkle looked between her two friends with dim, glassy eyes. Her tail weighed heavy on her backside, as if gravity threaten to pop it clean off. “You both gave your advice, and I appreciate it.” She took a breath. “I should go talk to the other party guests now.” With that, she spun about on her hooves, head hanging low, and trudged her way into the crowd; the nearby ponies were quite quick in shuffling back and clearing a path.

As her ear spun back, she picked up a few mumbled apologies. A conspiratorial whisper. Then the hissed accusations resumed, as did the ice pumping through her veins. A muted whimper died in her throat as she worked back to the punch bowl and promptly bumped headfirst into somepony’s chest. “Ack! Sorry, sorry!” she said, tripping over her hooves as she stumbled back.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” mumbled Fluttershy. “I shouldn’t have stood in your way like that. It's just that it’s a little crowded in here, and I thought you might look up in time, but I...”

“Oh.” As she brought her eyes back to focus on the pony in front of her, Twilight Sparkle rubbed the back of her neck and offered Fluttershy a weak smirk. “Hey, Fluttershy. Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” She paused, watching her hooves as they scuffed the floor of her library. “How’s the party? Too loud, right? Probably too loud.”

“Um.” She stood up straight, blinked, and looked to her left and right. “The—Yes, I suppose it’s a little louder than I like.” Turning back to smile earnestly at Twilight Sparkle, she leaned to the side. “But really, I don’t mind it, as long as you’re feeling better.” She paused for a moment. “Um, are you feeling better?”

“I’m fine.”

Fluttershy’s gaze fell, though her soft smile remained. She pawed timidly at the floor. “I see. Well, I—”

“Oh, Twilight, there you are!” Spike ran up to the pair of ponies, squeezing his way through the mass of party guests. He offered Twilight Sparkle a crisp wave before his arm fell back to his side and locked into place. “Kinda lost sight of you there, for a minute. Y’know, too many party guests. Well, I mean, I guess there’s no such thing as ‘too many’, not when Pinkie’s involved.” He licked his lips. “Hey, got a second?”

Fluttershy turned her head away, at once curtained by a lock of pink mane. “That’s okay. We can talk later.”

“Fluh?!” Spike’s head snapped around as he took notice of Fluttershy. “Oh, jeez! I’m so sorry, Fluttershy!” He reached out with a claw, hesitating a few centimeters away from her side. “I didn’t mean to butt in. I didn’t see you there, honest!”

“It’s fine, Spike.” Fluttershy motioned with her muzzle toward Twilight Sparkle. “It sounded like you had something really important to say. I can wait.”

He rapidly shook his head back and forth. “No, it wasn’t! I was just being impatient. Heh, just like Twilight is always telling me, right?” He swished both of his claws in Twilight Sparkle’s direction. “Anyway, you girls can finish talking and I’ll find her later.”

Twilight Sparkle’s eyelids slowly slid closed as she brought a hoof up to rub against her temple.

“Yes, but, um, Twilight and I were probably going to be chatting for a while, so,” she said, fidgeting with one her bangs, “it probably makes more sense if you go first, so that you’re not waiting long.”

“It's nothing major.” Spike swiped at the air while looking furtively toward the back of the room. “I just needed a little help with something in the kitchen, but I’ll just ask Pinkie or somepony. It’s not—”

“A-hem.” Twilight Sparkle loudly cleared her throat, drawing two pairs of eyes to her. “Spike?” she asked, keeping her voice as even as she could manage. “Can you wait for me in the kitchen? I’ll be right there in a second.” She offered an ear-tucked wince to Fluttershy. “You don’t mind, do you, Fluttershy? I mean, you just said—”

“Yes, of course.” She quickly nodded while waving her hoof toward the small snack tables. “I’ll just grab us a table. Take all the time you need.” Before Twilight Sparkle could respond, Fluttershy turned around and did just that.

Looking behind, Twilight Sparkle noticed that Spike had already disappeared through the crowd as well. With a frown, she followed suit, working her way toward the kitchen. As she entered the threshold, she spotted Spike facing away from her, elbows deep in one of the countertop drawers as he fumbled around for some utensil or another. She cleared her throat before calling out in a hushed tone. “Hey, Spike.”

“Hey,” he said, undisturbed from his rustling of utensils.

She trotted halfway across the kitchen before slowing, each hoof growing heavier until she fell to a standstill. “So.” She cleared her throat again, suddenly wishing she had actually drank any of the party’s fizzy punch. “Fun party, huh?”

“Eh.” He shrugged.

Twilight Sparkle closed her eyes and inhaled deep, flaring her nostrils, feeling her chest expand to its limits. “Look. Spike. I know why you wanted to talk with me.” The rustling in the drawer stopped. “When I got back a few days ago, I told you that I wasn’t going to be the Princess’s student anymore. And that meant no more studies, and no more letters.” She took a few quick steps forward. “But you don’t have anything to be afraid of! Nothing’s going to change, between us. No matter what happens, I won’t let anything happen to us.”

She looked down and bit her lip before continuing, “Of course, I appreciate all the help you give around the library. ‘Number One Assistant,’ and all. But, you’re not just some secretary, or mail courier, or anything like that.” She wrapped her hooves around him from behind and rested her head on his shoulder. “You’re, well… you were my first real friend, back in Canterlot. Before you came along, it was just me, my parents, and…” She looked away before resuming. “And my studies. I never really focused on friends back then, but even so, you were always there for me.” She squeezed him tighter, adding, “And I know sometimes it seemed like I took you for granted, but trust me: I didn’t know how lucky I was—how lucky I am—to have a friend like you.”

They stood like this for a few rolling seconds, pony silently embracing dragon, before Spike asked his question. “Why?”

“Why?” A half-hearted chuckle bubbled up from Twilight Sparkle’s chest. “What do you mean ‘why’, you goofball? I have to spell out why you’re such a good friend? Is someone fishing for a complement?”

She nuzzled the side of Spike’s head playfully, but he silently shook her off. “I asked Rainbow. I mean, I know you told me some stuff when you got back from the wedding, but…”

Her breath caught in her throat. Twilight Sparkle couldn’t quite see Spike’s face from her current position, but she did see the corner of his mouth drawn tight. She swallowed what little saliva she had to wet her throat. “What, uh… What did Rainbow say?”

He shrugged. “She didn’t really explain it, either. Same kinda deal as you: trying to protect the baby dragon, or whatever. But she told me something you left out.” Wriggling and squirming his way out of the hug, he turned around and faced her.

She flinched before she could contain herself. Spike’s expression was cold—not angry, but solemn. His eyes bored into hers, searching and probing. Though Twilight Sparkle saw the same baby dragon in front of her physically, these emotions he wore on his sleeve were completely foreign to her.

“She said that you said something to the Princess, and then the Princess suspended you. Why’d she do that? What did you say to her?”

I am going to superglue Rainbow Dash’s wings to her barrel. “Look, Spike, it’s not impor—” she started to say on reflex, but caught herself. Spike stared at her, unblinking and unmoving, until she sighed and looked down at the floor. “Okay. This is going to sound weird, but you’re my friend. If you want to know the truth, then… then you deserve to hear it.” She closed her eyes, inhaled, and quickly exhaled an “I-told-Princess-Celestia-I-loved-her.” She held the pose, eyes scrunched tight, awaiting his reaction.

Spike’s eyelids lowered halfway as he continued to stare at her. “Uh, yeah. Of course you love her. She’s your teacher.”

“No, I mean, I love her, love her. Y’know.” She twisted and squirmed, grinding her legs against one another as she stared adamantly at the floor. “Kissing and stuff.”

Spike continued to stare at Twilight Sparkle, but slowly, as realization struck, he cringed and stuck out his tongue. “Dude. You and… You wanna kiss… Like, on the mouth? Dude.” He made no effort to mask his shudder. “That’s gross! She’s like your second mom!”

Twilight Sparkle jolted upright, eyes wide and ears perked. “Is not!” She vigorously shook her head as she felt her legs and stomach grow tense. “It’s totally different. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“So,” he said, frowning and leveling his gaze, “wanting to kiss the Princess—with your tongue and everything—is totally normal.”

Spike, too?! “Yes, in fact, it is!” she snapped.

He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “And after you told her that you wanted to kiss her, she suspended you.”

Fatigue crashed down upon Twilight Sparkle like a waterfall. Her hind legs buckled, and she roughly planted her hindquarters on the tile floor. She struggled to regain control of her drying mouth. “No, that… That wasn’t… I…”

“I knew it!” he yelled, shooting his hands up into the air. “It is weird! You did something weird and that’s why she’s not your teacher anymore.”

“Spike,” whimpered Twilight Sparkle, “please stop.” Her stomach knotted itself, and she felt a burning heat beneath her tear ducts.

“But why, Twilight? Why’d you do it?” He held his arms out wide. His lip curled into an incredulous expression. “If you knew it was so weird, and you knew she’d probably suspend you for acting weird around her…”

“Spike,” she repeated louder. Her chest and voice quivered, but she steeled her expression as hard as she could, her tail lashing on the floor behind her. “You are saying some very hurtful things. Stop it this second, or…” Her eyes danced back and forth as she frantically racking her brain. “Or I’m going to punish you.”

“No.” Spike’s expression darkened, and he tilted his head down to look out from under his brow. “You’re just saying that because you don’t wanna answer me! But you know I’m right!” He held his claws on either side of his legs, balled into tight fists. His eyes scrunched up tightly until they began to leak. Stomping on the floor, he continued to shout, “You won’t admit it, but you did a bad thing, and you messed everything up, and now nothing will be like it used to, ever again!”

“Spike! That’s enough!” Twilight Sparkle leaned down to shout at Spike at eye level, tucking her ears back and baring her teeth. “Fine! You’re grounded for… for three days! And no dessert, either!”

“I don’t have to listen to you!” screamed Spike. “You’re just a weird, gross pony who wanted to kiss the Princess and that’s why you’re not her student anymore and now both our lives are ruined forever!” His voice cracked at the end, giving way to a sob.

“Shut up!” shrieked Twilight Sparkle, her face contorting beyond recognition. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She slammed her hooves repeatedly on the tile floor and was eventually rewarded by chipping a ceramic corner free. “You’re grounded for a month! Hey, come back here when I’m talking to you!” Unbound by her words, Spike stomped his way out of the kitchen, through the main foyer towards the back room, his face buried in one of his arms. “Fine! No dessert and… and… and tonight, you’re getting a spanking! Do you hear me?!”

Twilight's breathing came shaky and rapid, shaking her core with every gasp and sob. As the pounding thumps of her heartbeat slowly left her ears, she could hear cold, deathly silence of the kitchen. And the cold, deathly silence of the library outside.

Her neck went limp. Her head swung down until her chin brushed her chest, with her forelegs threatening to give way as well. Without sound, so as not to break the calm around her, she gave way to her tears.

After a minute or two, the sound of hoofsteps—soft yet without any ambient sound to mask them—echoed about the kitchen. Twilight Sparkle did not look up. “Please, go away.”

The hoofsteps drew nearer, and soon, Twilight felt a soft wing drape itself across her back, and a hoof guided her head onto a warm shoulder. She hesitated, just for a moment, before giving in and wrapping her own hooves around Fluttershy. As the two of them held that embrace for a long moment, Twilight Sparkle felt a few drops land on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry,” murmured Twilight Sparkle.

“Don’t be,” came Fluttershy’s whispered reply.

Twilight cracked open her eyelids, trying to look up at Fluttershy from her position. “Did you want to talk about something?”

She felt Fluttershy’s chin on top of her head, gently moving back and forth. “Just this.” A feathered wing reached up and wiped underneath Twilight’s eyes. “Just this.”

“Aaaaand, that’s all, folks! Thank you so much for coming, everypony!” From out in the foyer came the sound of scuffing hooves as Pinkie Pie brought the party to an abrupt end.

Inside the kitchen, Twilight Sparkle remained unmoved, though things had transformed around her. The quilt comforter from her bed was draped across her back, held in place by one of Fluttershy’s hooves. Beside them on the countertop, unbeknownst to Twilight, was a trayful of comforts: a batch of cupcakes, done up in a hurry with navy frosting and accented with pink and purple stripes; a cup of hot spiced apple cider; an array of the fancier chocolate pieces from the buffet; one of the Daring Do novels from her personal collection. Twilight had heard the sounds of this care package being assembled, but hadn’t bothered to look up and check it. She instead nuzzled herself deeper into Fluttershy’s embrace, the coat underneath her eyes already starting to dry.

Outside, Pinkie Pie called above the din of whispered gossip, which grew fainter second by second. “This was a very successful ‘Randomly Show Up At Twilight’s And Be Inappropriately Loud, Considering It’s A Library And All’ party, and we all thank you thiiis much for your help.” Presumably, this was accompanied with her hooves held apart by a specific distance. “Now, as everypony leaves, if you could just take a second to grab two seat cushions and stack them in the corner here, that’d be a terrific help. Thanks!”

“Hey, uh, is Twilight in here?” The voice at the kitchen door sounded like it belong to Carrot Top.

However, it was hard for Twilight to say that for certain, as a set of horseshoes on tile and a crisp cough cut off the pony in question. “She ain’t seeing no visitors right now. It’s late,” Applejack said with an air of definitiveness.

“Oh! Right, sorry. I…” Once more, the sound of scuffing hooves came from the doorway. Carrot Top projected a bit, her voice carrying clearly into the kitchen. “I just wanted to thank her for the party. Everypony had a really great time.”

There was a brief silence before Applejack replied gently. “Thank ya kindly. I’ll be sure to pass that along.” With that, the sound of hooves faded from the doorway, and in time, the background chatter grew silent as well.

Rarity let out a low sigh. “All clear, ladies.” While she kept her voice low, the now-deserted library carried her words all too clearly. “Trust me, this isn’t nearly as bad as it looks. I’ll get right on damage control first thing tomorrow morning, and the gossip mill will have moved on before afternoon tea.”

“With all due respect, Rarity,” came Applejack’s hushed reply, “I think there’s more pressin’ matters than that.”

“Every little bit helps. The last thing she’ll want on her mind… well…” Her words faded off into a muted sigh.

“Hiya, Twilight!”

Twilight Sparkle jerked her head upright, focusing her eyes on Pinkie Pie. She was seated next to Twilight, opposite Fluttershy, wearing a wide grin complete with tight dimples.

“How's it hangin'?”

Twilight dropped her gaze to the floor, opening her mouth to speak. Thus, she missed any warning as Pinkie Pie glomped both her and Fluttershy, wrapping them into a tight group hug.

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” she whimpered. A soft shake of her body rippled through the hug. “I’m so totally, completely sorry. I tried super-duper hard, really.”

Life returned to Twilight Sparkle’s eyes. “Pinkie…”

Words tumbled freely from Pinkie’s lips as she bowed her head, burying her face into Twilight’s mane. “I pulled out all the stops and tried to throw one bawoomba of a party, hoping it would cheer you right back up, and instead there was just fighting and yelling and now everypony knows and it’s all my fault that you’re even sadder than you were this morning and—”

“Pinkie, no, that’s… you weren’t…” Twilight bit her lip, unable to get a word in edgewise.

“Anyway, ‘m sorry,” Pinkie Pie mumbled. She broke her hug and spun round, her fluffy mane obscuring her low-hanging face from view.

Twilight Sparkle reached out her hoof, narrowly missing Pinkie’s poofed tail. She opened her mouth but nothing came. She had no words, no voice, no energy. Gravity tugged upon her; every muscle, from hoof to cheeks to chest, felt so heavy. She watched Pinkie go.

“Um, Twilight?” Feathered wings pressed down gently across her back.

“I’m sorry, too.” Twilight Sparkle murmured in reply. “I never wanted for any of you to get caught up in this.” She tilted her head up, her own glassy eyes not quite reaching Fluttershy’s.

“Really, it’s okay.” She shook her head and took in a breath. “Do…” Fluttershy paused and looked up toward the kitchen door. The wall clock. Then back to Twilight’s bangs. “Um. I suppose it’s late. Should…”

From out in the main room, they heard the sound of streamers being taken down, and plates and cups being gathered.

“You should probably get some rest.” Fluttershy squeezed her tight before dropping to her hooves, leaving Twilight Sparkle to a blast of cool air. She looked back to Twilight, her pink mane cascading across her shoulder, and smiled serenely. “Try not to feel so bad, okay? Tomorrow’s a new day.”

Twilight couldn’t watch her go. Her ears turned to listen to the sound of Fluttershy leaving while she clutched her stomach tighter, feeling the moisture drain from her mouth. She tried to silence her thoughts, but a myriad of voices echoed about inside her skull.

You can tell us if things aren’t okay, okay?

You’re just a weird, gross pony who wanted to kiss her!

But now you can live in peace, knowing that you gave it your all.

And guess who it is? Twilight Sparkle, holding a phonograph over her head, blasting a—

Is that really how you thought this’d work? That one day you’d graduate, and the next day the two of you’d be married?

But really, I don’t mind it, as long as you’re feeling better.

I had expected your instincts to be better founded in reality and maturity.

“It’s gettin’ pretty late, gals. We should probably pack it in.”

Twilight shook her head with vigor. The last one had been real, here, in the present. Just outside the kitchen. She tossed the comforter off her shoulders and took to her hooves.

“Wait!”

In the front of the library, Applejack and Rarity turned in unison, stopping cold their conversation at one of the party tables. From above, Rainbow Dash arched an eyebrow, halfway through tearing down the yellow and purple streamers that lined the tops of the bookshelves. Fluttershy fidgeted on her hooves, wincing in Pinkie Pie’s direction; Pinkie stood motionless in front of the front door, one hoof on the doorknob, looking back over her shoulder. Her face was just as somber as she had been in the kitchen.

Twilight felt her skin growing clammy once more, a cold sweat threatening to overtake her as all eyes focused on her. With an inhale, she closed her eyes. Why should I feel nervous? These aren’t just any ponies. Twilight released her breath. “Everypony. I need to apologize.”

Applejack grimaced, shaking her head. “Now, Twi, it’s fine. If anypony should—” She dropped her train of thought, yielding to Twilight Sparkle’s raised hoof.

“I’ve been stuck, unable to move forward, for the past few days. I could make my share of excuses for how I’ve treated myself, if I really wanted. But none of this was fair to you, my best friends. This may be my journey, but I’m not alone. You’ve been with me every step of the way, offering advice and trying to help me through this.” Life returned to Rarity’s eyes, her beaming face lighting up the room once more. “That said, it wasn’t fair for me to only think of myself. This has been a difficult time for all of us and… I haven’t helped you girls through this, in the same way you’ve helped me.” Applejack averted her eyes, but a small calm smile cracked through her wall. She tipped her hat to Twilight. “But you girls have helped me more than you know.

“I’m… I’m not fine. But I’m getting better, step by step, and I have you to thank for it.” Twilight shared a quiet smile with Fluttershy as the latter returned a timid blush. “I don’t know when I’ll be ‘back to normal’, or if the new normal will even be the same as the old normal, or which road I should take, or any countless other questions. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try.” Rainbow Dash grinned and flipped a hoof through her forelock.

“And, well, I want to be there with all of you, to help one another, to move forward. Together.” Twilight Sparkle stepped slowly and deliberately toward Pinkie Pie; Pinkie stared wide-eyed as Twilight placed a hoof on her shoulder. “I guess what I’m trying to say is… you all don’t have to go home right now.” She hung her head low before quietly adding, “Actually, I’d really prefer it if you’d all stay a while longer. Please.”

Pinkie Pie stared at her, mouth hanging agape. She muscled her mouth once, twice, searching for her voice. “Twilight, we…” Gazing down at the floor, her face contorted as she racked her brain, thinking a mile-a-minute. “We’ve never even played parcheesi,” she whispered.

“I…” She blinked, tilting her head closer. “Huh?”

“I said, you and me have never played parcheesi!” Pinkie Pie threw her hooves in the air, a burst of colorful confetti popping up behind her and raining down on the pair. Her grin was so wide that, for a moment, Twilight wondered if she might pull a face muscle. “Oh, we absotutely have to fix that, stat. Trust me, Twilight, I know you haven’t played parcheesi before, but you’re gonna love this one. I’ll show you all the rules, and if you ask really nicely, I’ll even let you start with one of your pieces on the ‘home’ space to give you a head start, and… and…”

Pinkie’s stretched grin softened and her rambling fell quiet as Twilight Sparkle pulled her close. As her eyes teared up, Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Twilight and gently hugged back. Rainbow Dash crashed into the pair, Applejack and Rarity closely behind. Touching down softly beside them, Fluttershy completed the group hug.

Twilight Sparkle sniffed loudly, feeling warmth deep within her and warmth from her friends surrounding her. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

The darkened sky glimmered with starlight, intricate constellations and dense galaxies providing a picturesque frame around a waxing moon. Twilight Sparkle peered up through her bedroom window. Is she even awake at this hour? I wonder what she’s been doing. What she’s been thinking. She closed her eyes and inhaled the musty air of her book-filled bedroom. What she’s thinking right now.

Releasing her breath, she focusing her gaze on the parchment in front of her. Her quill floated alongside her head, aglow with magic. She turned her head around and looked about the bedroom: empty and quiet, save for the crackling fire in her fireplace. With a shake of her head, she dipped the quill into her inkwell and brought it to rest on the parchment. As she hesitated for just a moment, a small blot started to grow beneath the tip. She pushed forward.

“Dear Princess Celestia,” she mumbled, echoing the words that appeared in ink.

“While no longer required of me, I am writing you today with another lesson of friendship, as well as a small request. I realize this may not be entirely”—she paused to rub the feather along the corner of her jaw—“felicitous, but I hoped that you might indulge me, for old time’s sake.”

Scoffing, she scratched the last clause off the sentence, nearly as soon as she had written it. Twilight paused, nibbling on the end of her quill, staring at the edited sentence in silence. After some time, she sighed, fixing the comma into a period.

“Today I saw that a true friend will always wish the best for you. They will try with all their heart to help you and to be there for you, when you need them most. Of course, I’ve already written you about such a lesson before. What I learned today was this: everypony is unique. They have their own understanding of your problem, their own hopes and dreams for you, and their own course of action to follow. While it can sometimes…” Closing her eyes, she brought a hoof to her temple. Her skin stretched taut as she leaned against the hoof, tugging an eyelid partially open. “While it can sometimes be trying, to receive these different viewpoints, the truth lies somewhere in between. Whether you trot down a path that one friend advises and another opposes, or whether you blaze a trail solely for yourself, your friends will always be there by your side. They value your happiness first and foremost.”

She reread the first half of the letter again, silently mouthing along with the words. “…first and foremost.” Her chest shook once with a dry chuckle. “I already knew that part, too.” She dipped into the inkwell once more, drew a slow, deep breath, and continued.

“As for my request, I understand that you had your reasons for… for what was said, and I will adhere to your decision. However, I would humbly request one favor.” She crossed out the last part, the sounds of quill scratches resonating in the still evening air. “One personal favor. If I may, would we still be able to continue our correspondences? You mean…” Scratch, scratch. “These letters mean very much to me, and I need…” Scratch, scratch. “I would greatly enjoy to continue hearing from you as I pursue this new phase of my life. I eagerly await your decision.

“Your faith—”

Her breath caught in her throat. Student? Faithful? She ran her tongue along the roof of her mouth. Yours? In silence, her mind raced through a multitude of words, searching for something, anything, to capture the essence of their new relationship. She closed her eyes.

Scratch, scratch.

“Twilight Sparkle.”

Hovering the quill beside her, she lifted the scroll off the writing desk and slowly walked toward her fireplace. As Twilight Sparkle approached the light, she lifted the scroll at a proper reading angle and reread—first the conclusion, then the letter in its entirety, then the letter once more. The side of her body closest to the fire felt nice and toasty as she reached her signature for the last time. With a silent, determined nod, she set the letter and quill back down on her desk.

Twilight Sparkle looked to her open bedroom door. “You can come in,” she said, her voice gentle and even. From beyond the threshold came the sudden sounds of claws scraping on wood and a muffled thump against the wall. “It’s okay. I promise.”

Spike leaned his head partway into view, the red of his bloodshot eyes sharply visible in the flickering light. With a shaky hiccup, he took a few tentative steps into the room, his claws scuffing across the floor. His hands were tightly wringing the tip of his tail. Sniffing, he whispered, “I’m sorry I ruined your party, Twilight.”

“It’s okay, Spike,” she repeated, taking a cautious step forward. “I—”

“And I’m sorry for saying all those mean things.” Spike hugged his tail tighter against his torso, its tip hiding part of his face from view. “I still love you, I swear!” he said, his voice cracking into a squeak at the end.

Twilight Sparkle bit her lip and beckoned him closer with a hoof. “Spike…”

“I don’t know why I was trying to hurt your feelings so much. It just h-happened,” he said between sniffles. “I was just so angry! And scared. But I went way too far and made you cry, and then everypony got sent home, and I—” His face fell, wide-eyed and desperate, when a magic aura lifted him off the ground and carried him into the room. He twisted and squirmed in midair, covering his face with both arms. “Wait! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Please don’t—” He fell silent.

Twilight Sparkle held him softly against her chest, her magic keeping him afloat, one foreleg draped across his shoulders. She gently nuzzled against the top of his head, looking down on him with half-open eyes. “I’m sorry, too, Spike.”

Spike tried to shake his head, boxed in as he was. “No! You’re not supposed to be apologizing! I was the huge jerk who yelled at you in front of everypony, when you were already feeling so lousy.”

She pried him off her chest and leaned down until they were eye to eye. “And I’m the one who didn’t consider your feelings in all of this,” she said, her ears drooping flat. “I’ve just been moping in bed, day after day. I didn’t even tell you the full story myself; you had to hear it from Rainbow Dash instead of me.” She hung her head and tucked her tail underneath her. “This… This whole change hurt me, a lot. But it hurt you too, and you deserved a proper explanation.” Frowning, she shook her head. “No, not just an explanation. You deserved your closest friend to be there for you.”

Spike threw his arms around her, his tear ducts welling and threatening to give way. The two stood like this, each pulling the other closer, until Spike’s breathing became soft and even once more.

Spike tilted his head away and peeked at her out the corners of his eyes. After a moment’s silence, he said, “Well… We both got upset, and we’re both sorry, so, uh… y’know?”

“Yeah.” She ran her hoof along the tops of his spines. “I know.”

After she let him go, he ran the back of his arm across his nose. “Okay. Cool.” He grinned, uneasy at first but growing in sincerity. “Cool! So maybe, tomorrow, we could do something fun together?” He looked up at the ceiling and counted on his claws, half-singing each idea. “We could reshelve the downstairs, reshelve the upstairs, optimize your schedule for next week, study the—”

“Uh,” interrupted Twilight Sparkle, scratching the base of her neck with a sheepish look on her face, “how about… if we baked some cookies? Together?”

He beamed. “Whoa, that actually sounds fun! I can’t wait!” The two shared a laugh, enjoying the melting of so much tension. As the laughter died down, Spike’s eyes drew to her writing desk. “So, uh, I wasn’t trying to listen in on you, but sounds like—yeah, that.” Spike nodded at the scroll that levitated off Twilight’s desk. Holding out his claw palm-up, he asked, “Want me to send that now?”

Twilight Sparkle watched the piece of parchment as it resisted the whims of gravity. Dozens of thoughts coursed through her mind; her only physical reaction was to nibble upon her lip. With one more deep breath and a strong nod, she flung the scroll aside, tossing it into the precise center of her fireplace.

“Twilight!” On instinct, Spike lunged after it, stopping just as the heat of the fireplace lapped at his scales. His head whipped back and forth, looking to Twilight and then watching the flames slowly consume the scroll. “But, your letter! Why did—”

“It’s okay, Spike.” Twilight stepped closer and gently wrapped her leg around him, watching the fireplace together. “I can’t cling to the past like this. I have to change, to grow.” With a soft sigh, she added, “I’m no longer her student. It’s time I started acting like it.”

Spike blinked, firelight playing in his eyes’ reflection. “Are…” He tilted his head up. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

He turned around and hugged her tightly; Twilight returning the hug in kind. As they broke apart, Spike cocked his head toward the bedroom door. “Um. Do you… sorta need a minute? I could go clean up some of the kitchen, or…”

“Thanks, Spike. Don’t worry about the mess. We can get that in the morning.” Twilight planted a kiss atop his scaly head before giving him a gentle nudge. “How about if you go brush your teeth and get ready for bed? I just need a minute.”

“Alright.” Spike plodded along on his squat legs. As he reached the doorway, he looked back and tried to smile for her. “I love you, Twilight.”

She returned the smile, more with her eyes than her lips. “I love you too, Spike.”

Twilight Sparkle watched him clear out of sight before she turned back to the fireplace. A whole year, then. A new life, without your studies. Without her.

The heat of the fireplace baked into her, skin and coat alike feeling toasty. It planted a feeling of security deep within her. You don’t fully understand what this new life will be like, but it’s fine! Your friends are by your side. They’re all you need.

In the fireplace, the fire burnt away at the edges of the scroll, slowly unfurling it in the process. Just you wait. A year from now, you’ll be your own mare. You’ll have found the answers you seek. Your studies aren’t the answer, and neither is… the Princess.

The bright amber flames cast their glow upon the blank, unmarred parchment before finally turning it to ash.

Who do you think you’re fooling?

“Just… Just shut up,” she told herself.

Twilight walked up the steps to her bed loft, her horn aglow; down at her writing desk, she wrapped another scroll in her aura and lifted it toward her. She climbed into bed, laying on her back, as the scroll unfurled above her face. Dear Princess Celestia. Her breathing came in shaky spurts as the first tear rolled across her cheek to the pillow.

A new mare, in a year? Sure. You won’t change. You can't forget her.

“Shut up…”

You need her.

Rolling onto her side and clutching her letter tightly to her chest, Twilight Sparkle pulled the bed covers up over her head.