Chapter 1: Self-Deprecation
Chapter 1: Self-Deprecation
Self-Deprecation
"Sure we all have egos to some degree, save for severe psychological problems, but sometimes you just may not feel like being self-centered, or ethnocentric or nationalistic. Sometimes you may just feel like cracking a joke that says, "Ha! Take That, Me/Us!" This is the essence of self-deprecation."
-Tv Tropes
Except, you forgot to add humor.
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Life was easier at one point, wasn't it?
Yeah, when Venus was a filly it was, but she could only passingly remember those times now. She used to get bullied a lot and she ate lots of soup and... and? Her mind came up empty, having already expended most if not all of her memories. There didn't seem to really be a whole lot to enjoy back then, or really Venus just didn't remember much other than the bad ones right now.
She only wanted to remind herself of the good memories, the ones of her interactions with the kinder orphanage kids. They brought with them feelings of home and belonging, something she was really missing out on in the present. Her thoughts soon strayed toward the orphanage matron.
She grimaced as her emotions turned sour in an instant. The memory of the matron wouldn’t push out of her mind fast enough and she was already feeling a pained, burning sensation deep inside her chest.
The mare sighed as she flopped her head down toward her soft pillow.
Unfortunately for her, Venus' forehead collided against something that wasn't her pillow nor the wall. She hit it hard enough to see stars fly, her brain thumping in on itself as she painfully saw white overtake the surroundings of her bedroom. She squeezed her eyes tightly as Venus' hooves fumbled to touch her now swelling cranium.
“Ow!” She reflexively yelped.
She stopped immediately the moment pain spiked in the tender sore spot. Venus could felt her head protesting to her own stupidity as if saying, “Why are you touching your damn injuries?!”
It felt like a large bruise was forming somewhere directly in the center of her forehead, something that she instantly knew she would be carrying for at least the next week. Venus scolded herself for not looking for her pillow first before making the nose dive. What did I even hit?
“Owuch… Dat hurt allot.”
Venus' eyes cracked open in confusion and the barest knowledge of comprehending some strange new element that did not belong. Those were not her words and that was not her voice. That was a stallion's voice.
Venus tentatively raised her head and then broke into a panic.
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Venus glared, half out of worry and half out of alarm. The stallion who somehow managed to get inside her room, without making a sound, or opening the doors, or breaking through a wall, or teleporting in because clearly he couldn’t have just walked in by himself; how did he even-... She was sidetracking herself.
He was sitting on the floor after she had not so politely shoved him off her bed in a startled fit of sudden, uncontrollable panic and hysteria. Venus realized only seconds later that she was being a flankhole. Pushing around a guest like she had? What a complete rudie pudie, even if he did happen to be a uninvited house guest.
Fortunately, the red stallion sat calmly on the floor and watched her with curiosity in his eyes rather than the look of somepony who was just recently degraded to the floor. He had a bruise on his forehead too, and by the looks of it, it looked like it was just as painful as hers.
Venus tried to at least soften her glare and thought that she could at least pretend to apologize. The glare passed away slightly, but the apology never came. Instead, what came out of her mouth was:
“W-who are you? A-and how did you get into my home?” Her cheeks heated, "Right, and I'm sorry for b-bumping heads with you."
He simply grinned a knowing grin (or maybe it was complete obliviousness) and said, “I just walked in Veenis!”
Venus didn't blink, but she wondered for a brief fraction of a second if that was her name she had just heard. She decided to brush the possibility away for now.
"D-do you want some band-aids? F-for your bruise? I'm so sorry."
"No thanks Veenis, I okie."
Venus stared at the stallion with a look somewhere between shock and nervousness. “I hope that wasn’t my n-name you just said, because it really did sound like you-”
He butted in, “-Of course I knuw who yoo are! I knuw everything about yoo!”
She blinked once and smiled uneasily, “I’m sorry, but we have never met.”
The stallion didn’t let the pause after her sentence settle, he began talking at lightning speed, “-O but that’s okay! I know all about yoo! Yoor full name is Veenis Spring. Yoo dun liek the color orange, so yoo wish that yoor mane was a different color. Yoo liek to read stories and yoo liek to go to the park a lot. Yoo liek to play leegos wit mee! And...”
He continued to drone on and on about random facts that were mostly false, but some of them were true and that's what unnerved her. The possibility of Venus being murdered in her home by some random stalker she hadn’t heard of till now felt alarming high.
The stallion took a deep breath, “Yoor favorite food is soup; when yoo-”
Venus would have interrupted him, asking, 'Um, I’m s-sorry-… what was your name a-again?'
At least, that’s what she would have done, but instead, she merely whispered a quiet "good morning," then headed down the hallway toward the kitchen to prepare some breakfast.
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Venus watched somewhat curiously as the red stallion devoured her bowl of baked potatoes and chopped carrots. He was a rather messy eater, as evidence of the several tiny bits that fell out of his plate onto the table mat. Fortunately, he had the common curtsy to lick up the bits. Waste not, want not, I suppose! Hehe, right?
After he quickly ate his own breakfast, Venus insistence that he take hers as well, since she wasn’t very hungry that morning. Why in Merlin’s beard why are you letting some random stranger eat all of your food, Venus?
Well because he's obviously hungry. Yeah...? Venus replied to herself, abet, somewhat unsurely.
The Matron always fed the homeless ponies, so she reasoned that was why she was tolerating him eating her food now. Of course, there was the possibility that the red stallion wasn't homeless and was in fact some random serial killer that managed to get past the door and was planning to kill her the moment she fell asleep tonight, but no that was either unlikely or didn't matter, maybe both.
No. That's ridiculous. Nopony would do that. Venus shrugged her thoughts away, although it didn't make all of the hidden fears go away.
After asking him a few times about what he would like while calling him 'mister,' he eventually told Venus his name.
“So Mars…” She tested out his name with her tongue. That immediately got his attention, eyes focusing from his food to her face.
Venus uneasily shied away from his glare, unconsciously angling her body toward the nearest exit, which she happened to realize was the window. She scowled at herself. Jumping out the window, although comical from a outside perspective, isn't exactly a very clever idea. Besides, that's just plain rude to do in the middle of a conversation.
Venus forced herself to make eye contact while she asked her questions. She found Mars' maroon eyes were staring at her expectantly.
“Where are you from?” Venus began. She quickly added, “Because, I mean, you didn't mention how you got here.”
It was an ingenious setup, she thought. First, Venus would figure out how in Equestria he broke in, then she'd board up the problem, and then she'd kick him out. No wait, kick him out then patch the problem.
Mars shrugged his shoulders at the question, “I dunno.”
“Let me start over. I mean, where do you live?”
Mars simply shrugged his shoulders again, “I dunno.”
“You don’t know where you live?” Venus slightly raised an eyebrow.
The answer was still the same, but he added to it, “I dunno where, but I live wit yoo Veenis.” Mars munched a carrot and stared at her unblinkingly.
"Okay, um." Venus ignored what he said, “Um, do you have a place to stay?”
“Nope!” Mars replied cheerily.
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The sun soon set beyond the view of her bedroom window and it was already nighttime before Venus could realize that time had basically flew right straight past her without her noticing, which managed to unnerve her slightly, because of the fact that literally nothing had happened in that time. At least, nothing that she could notice.
Venus was expecting something, she just didn’t know what. Inherently, she knew it was just her own paranoia and the slow day talking.
Mars was given a spare blanket and pillow while he stayed in the living room area. Venus, on the other hoof, stayed in her room with the door locked (jury rigged with a chair) and her back against the wall. She placed as wide of a gape as possible between her and Mars, and kept quiet as she re-read one of her books.
Ever since Mars said that he basically had nowhere else to go, Venus contended herself to her own space, that is to say, she hid in her room. Not that she didn’t mind sharing, she was just worried about accidentally offending her guest somehow (that would lead to her untimely demise), so she thought it would be easier if they just didn’t make any sort of contact. Simple solution.
An image of death came to her mind’s eye, one that Venus shook away fearfully. The image was of a non-descriptive young mare in an obviously ransacked room with her throat slit and her eyes still wide open with fear.
Venus shrugged the vision away and chuckled to herself. Well that was pleasant.
Oh, you’re welcome. Venus thought replied to herself.
By the way, you just wasted an entire day doing absolutely nothing!
Yeah… Venus agreed with herself sadly, I know.
Author's Note
This fic is mostly for practice writing and such. I intend on writing future chapters in shorter word counts in order to improve brevity, but hopefully this will also have the effect of fast updates.
I should note that I don't have a whole lot of experience in Slice of Life fics, before writing this story, so if you want to, feel free to share any helpful tips. I would definitely appreciate it. 
