Colgate stood with her eyes closed as the rain fell around her. Her mind was blank. Around her she heard noises, a colt talking in the background, but she could not concentrate on what he was saying, somepony sobbing softly, the sound of the blowing wind and the falling rain, the sounds of several ponies standing around waiting and listening. The colt’s voice had vanished, Colgate opened her eyes.
She saw the things around her she had tried to block out. She saw that she was wearing a black dress, as were many of the mares around her. She saw a few friendly faces, those of Bon Bon, Lyra, and even Cheerilee, though they gave her no immediate comfort. Now her eyes wandered over the two most important things in her life, one wonderful, one horrible. She saw her marefriend’s daughter, Ruby Pinch, quietly crying without anyone to offer her comfort. Then Colgate saw the casket, Berry’s casket. A few memories shot through Colgate’s head, making her heart skip a beat. Now it was her turn to give her eulogy.
Colgate walked slowly up to the podium; she felt as though she was in a dream, some terrible nightmare. She arrived and looked at all the waiting ponies once again. Everyone was waiting to hear what she had to say. She closed her eyes again and shut out the world. The memories came again. In a flash, she saw herself at her house, opening the door and stepping inside, she called out for Ruby and Berry, she received no response. Then she started to notice the mess, food still left out, overturned furniture, someone’s thong hanging from the ceiling fan. Looks like you had one hell of a party, Berry, Colgate thought. Setting her suitcase on the floor she continued up the stairs and down the hall. She pushed open the door to Ruby’s bedroom; everything was as it should’ve been, all that was missing was its occupant. Wherever Ruby was, Berry would know for sure, she hated to let that little filly out of her sight. Colgate moved across the hall to the door to the master bedroom. Time seemed to slow down as the door swung open, revealing the thing she had hoped most never to see. Before her hung her beloved Berry’s body.
Colgate stood unmoving in the doorway, frozen in shock and fear. After a few moments she began to enter the room, never taking her eyes off of Berry and sat just in front of her lifeless form. Colgate imagined what Berry’s final minutes might have been like. She imagined Berry pacing the room, contemplating what she was about to do. Another scene came to Colgate’s mind. Berry tying the noose to the rafters, pulling on it to make sure it would hold her weight. Berry walking over to shutter the windows, closing out the outside world for one final time. Colgate saw Berry writing her final letter, tears streaming down her face as she did so. Colgate imagined Berry taking a final swig from her bottle and walking over to the chair positioned under the noose. Balancing ever so carefully on the edge of the chair, she lowered the noose around her neck. Berry inhaled deeply, taking her final breath. Colgate saw Berry slide off the edge and fall for a short time until the sickening crack of Berry’s neck breaking brought Colgate back to her original memory.
Colgate remembered crying at Berry’s hooves, unthinking, consumed with fear and sadness. Eventually she collected herself enough to look for the note she knew would be there. The writing was shaky and the ink was stained with tears and wine. The note recounted some of Berry’s hard life, abandonment by her father, alcoholism, and abandonment by her coltfriend, which left her as a single mother. All of this and more Colgate already knew. She knew Berry had been depressed and suicidal before, but she thought they had beaten it, together. Then Colgate reached the part about the party, about the police barging in and taking Ruby away, about that being the reason that pushed Berry over the edge. Then Colgate felt hate and disgust; hate and disgust toward Foal Protective Services and the police officers that killed Berry. Finally Colgate reached the end of the letter, the personal final farewells to herself and Ruby.
There’s nothing more to do really than say goodbye. It’s weird, there’s not even anypony to say goodbye to. I don’t even really know why I’m writing this, maybe to teach Foal Protective Services to think before they ruin someone’s life. I don’t know, I really don't care either. I’m done with this living crap.
I hope that whoever finds this will relay my last messages to my family, if they still give a fuck about me. Here it goes; forgive me if it gets sappy.
Colgate, you've always been my best drinking buddy. Please don’t take that to mean that’s all I thought of you as. You are my best friend and have filled my life with happiness. You’ve always been there for me, except now when I need you most. If there was ever somepony that could help me, it would be you. Sadly, you aren’t here. I can’t stop thinking about all the wrong I’ve done. I can’t stop telling myself that I’m a worthless piece of shit. Now I’ve gone and lost everything. I know we might have had big plans for the future, getting married and such. All I know now is that you’ll be off with somepony who isn’t as fucked up as me. I’m sorry for everything I’m putting you through. Just know that I loved you.
Ruby, my darling little filly. I’m so sorry I lost you. Quill and paper cannot express the crushing sadness and sorrow that I am feeling. You won’t understand why recent events have happened or why I am going to do what I’m going to do until you are much older. All I can say is I’m sorry I didn’t take better care of you. Wherever you end up, it will probably be better than what I could give you. I could only hope that someone like Colgate could have you and raise you to be the best you can be. I’m sad I’ll never get to see it. I love you.
Colgate read the note over several more times, realizing more with each run through. Eventually after what seemed like an eternity, she set the note down and looked at Berry once again. She was peaceful, hanging there with a blank expression on her face, it could’ve almost been a smile. Colgate loosened and lifted the noose off of Berry’s neck and set her down on the bed. Colgate collected herself for just long enough to call an ambulance. When the EMTs arrived, they found Colgate lying on the bed, clutching Berry’s body and crying. They had to pry Colgate off of her so they could move her body to an ambulance. Colgate screamed and fought back the whole time, trying to get back to Berry’s side. They loaded Colgate, now holding Berry’s note, into another ambulance to be brought to the hospital to be treated for shock.
The loud noise so early in the morning woke several ponies. Lyra and Bon Bon Heartstrings looked out their window in time to see two ambulances leave Berry and Colgate’s home. The two went to the house and received no response from knocking. They decided to go to the hospital, but not before going to tell Cheerilee, Berry’s sister, what they had seen.
The three mares, Lyra, Bon Bon, and Cheerilee, made their way to the hospital. They were told that they would have to wait for the patient to be stabilized before they could see her. After a while they were let into the patient’s room, where they saw Colgate lying in bed reading a note. Colgate looked up at them with a sad sort of smile on her face. The three walked over to her; she couldn’t speak, so she offered them the note. They all read it through several times. Bon Bon tried to offer her condolences before she broke down crying. She sat down, mumbling incoherent phrases of apology as Lyra tried to comfort her. Lyra herself was crying too and told Colgate that they were so sorry. Cheerilee stood on two legs leaning against the wall, she ran her hooves through her mane. She did not cry, she only looked somewhat distressed. She then took the note and read it again, then she left muttering softly about something that sounded like “not being mentioned.” Colgate sat there in silence, not thinking, not moving, as her friends cried at her bedside.
Colgate opened her eyes and was brought back to the real world. She had begun to cry during her short remembrance. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing more than a choked sob came out. Eventually she stopped trying to talk and just looked out at all the ponies standing there. Lyra, Bon Bon, Cheerilee, Ruby, the social worker, other friends and coworkers. After a few moments she composed herself and began to speak. “Berry was a good mare.” Then Colgate heard a noise. She glanced up to see the social worker covering his mouth. He may have been coughing or sneezing, but what Colgate heard was a snicker. She heard him laughing at her pain, at all the pain he and his kin had caused Berry, at the fact that he had killed Berry, at the fact that Berry was a good pony just trying to have the best life she could in a cold, cruel world. Colgate stopped talking abruptly and slowly stepped off the podium. She took a deep breath then galloped at and tackled the social worker. A magic force field sprung up around the two, keeping the others from interfering.
She screamed at him, “You bastard! You murderer! You wanted this to happen, you wanted to see her dead! You thought she wasn’t good enough to be a mother, you thought she didn’t deserve any chance at life or happiness! Now look what’s happened! How is this good for our daughter, how is this good for Ruby? How the fuck did you and your little friends think this was good for anypony? Now my marefriend is dead, now her daughter is an orphan, you bastard! Berry was my life, and now she’s gone. We’ll never get married, we’ll never grow old together, we’ll never share another single happy moment together because of you!”
As she was ranting at him, Colgate alternately beat him with her hooves or shook him violently. The colt made a feeble attempt at trying to defend himself from the oncoming blows, but it barely made a difference.
Colgate paused and looked up. In front of the force field stood Lyra, she said, “Colgate, you know you don’t want to do this. There’s no point adding more suffering to what has already happened. Just lower your defenses, step off of the colt, and come over here.”
Colgate looked down at the bleeding colt beneath her hooves. He looked back at her with the one eye that was not swollen shut. From the crowd Colgate heard Cheerilee shout, “Come on, do it!” Colgate sighed and allowed the force field to disappear. Before departing she bent down over the colt and whispered in his ear, “I hope you live for a long time. I hope you live so that everyday you can be reminded of what you did to my Berry, you little piece of shit.” She stepped off of him walked over to join Lyra, they joined Bon Bon and Ruby standing at the edge of the crowd.
Lyra sat down and rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof. “Bon Bon, why don’t you take Colgate and Ruby to our house. I’ll hang back here and try to get things sorted out the best I can.”
Bon Bon nodded and motioned for the other two to follow her. Lyra watched them walk down the hill and start toward town. She turned and walked over to the social worker, who was now struggling to stand. She asked, “Would you like some help? I could call you an ambulance.”
“No. No thank you,” he said, still struggling to stand. “I’m alright. I should probably hurry out of here before I cause more strife.” He finally managed to stand, then added, “Thanks for saving me back there. I owe you one, I suppose. I’ll get going now.” With that he slowly turned around and headed down the hill in the general direction of the hospital.
Lyra stood watching him as Cheerilee walked up beside her. She said, “She shoulda done it, I woulda.” Lyra smelled alcohol on Cheerilee’s breath. “I hope the bastard goes home an’ kills ‘imself. Anyway, I’m headin’ out, tell Colgate thanks for the show for me.” She then departed in the direction of her home.
Lyra sighed. How quickly life can change and leave us all out in the cold, she thought. She turned and galloped off to meet Bon Bon and the other two at her own home.
