Pony Postscripts

Chapters

Even Princesses Deserve A Second Prance [S6: "No Second Prances"]
The Unlikeliest of Heroes (S1: "Dragonshy")
Time Won't Let You [S2: "It's About Time"]
A Canterlot Catastrophe [S2: "A Canterlot Wedding"]
Simple Words [S4: "Simple Ways"]
In Bad Faith [S4: "Leap of Faith"]
Unmapped Destiny [S5: "The Cutie Map"]
Dethroning Moment of Spike [S5: "Princess Spike"]
The Fence is Mended, but the Gate is Still a Little Squeaky [S5: "Amending Fences"]
O Brother, Where Art Thy Shame? [S5: "Brotherhooves Social"]
A Few Closing Re-Marks [S5: "The Cutie Re-Mark"]
Saddled With Nepotism [S6: "The Saddle Row Review"]
Flutter Stutter [S6: "Flutter Brutter"]
Even Stranger Still [S6: "Stranger Than Fanfiction"]
Buckball Post-Season [S6: "Buckball Season"]
What the Buckball, Girls? [S6: "Buckball Season"]
Every Little Thing She Does Is Crazy [S6: "Every Little Thing She Does"]
Who the Apple Lays [S6: "Where the Apple Lies"]
Can't Get Away With Nuttin' (S7: "All Bottled Up")
Flurry Eyes (S7: "A Flurry of Emotions")
Angel's List (S7: "Fluttershy Leans In")
Equestrian Pie (S7: "Secrets and Pies")
Dance Magic, Car Wash Tragic (Equestria Girls: "Dance Magic")
Meddling Kids (Equestria Girls: "Movie Magic")
Marked Out [S6: "On Your Marks"]
Settling In #1 (S1: "Friendship is Magic")
A Word About A Bird [S1: "A Bird in the Hoof"]
Dragon Disservice [S3: "Spike At Your Service"]
A Newbie's Lament [S6: "Newbie Dash"]
Obligatory Deleted Musical Scene (S7: "Rock Solid Friendship")
Mareway to Heaven (S7: "Once Upon a Zeppelin"
Shampoo Blues...? (EG: "Monday Blues") (Guest writer DrakeyC)

Even Princesses Deserve A Second Prance [S6: "No Second Prances"]

Author's Note

This was originally a chapter of "Just Girls Talking", but once I decided to go ahead and create this story, I migrated it over.

Even Princesses Deserve A Second Prance [S6: "No Second Prances"]

What seemed like hours had passed.

Mostly because it had, in fact, been hours.

The special-ordered ice sculpture was little more than a puddle. Matilda had come to take Cranky home. Derpy had curled up in a corner of the banquet hall and was mewling softly in her sleep. DJ PON-3 was idly drumming with the cutlery, her head still bobbing to her own beat.

Celestia was beyond annoyed, sitting on the red line between peeved and ticked off.

Eventually, Twilight Sparkle returned, two unicorns in tow. "We're baaaaack!" Twilight called cheerfully.

Celestia turned around and stared at her, eyes narrowed. "Twilight Sparkle," she said in a stern tone.

Twilight's ears wilted. "Uh-oh."

Celestia rose and trotted slowly, ominously toward her. "Explain," she commanded, "why you invited these guests and myself to a dinner party, disappeared without an explanation, and never bothered to see to the needs of your guests?"

"Umm..."

Starlight Glimmer stepped forward. "It's...it's my fault, Your Majesty," she said nervously.

Twilight sighed. "No, Starlight, it's—"

"No, let me finish," Starlight said. "Twilight gave me an assignment to make a new friend. I did." She gestured with a hoof at Trixie. "But my new friend had a prior commitment this evening. I—"

Trixie blinked. "You stood up Princess Celestia to help me with my magic act? Are you insane?!" She turned Starlight to face her. "If you'd told me you were expected by Princess Celestia, we could've waited to do the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive!"

Celestia's ears perked up. "Hoofdini's famous trick? You...you pulled it off?"

Trixie reared slightly. "Y-yes...with assistance from Starlight Glimmer."

"I, umm...teleported her out of the manticore's mouth into the box," Starlight said.

"Well, yes, that is how the trick works," Celestia said.

"It is?!" Trixie and Starlight exclaimed.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "How else were you supposed to pull it off?"

Trixie and Starlight stared at each other. Trixie groaned, facehoofing. "In hindsight...it is sort of obvious," she admitted.

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Are you, by any chance, Trixie Lulamoon?"

"I am, yes," Trixie said. "You...you've heard of me?"

"You have...a bit of a reputation."

Trixie cringed.

"She's trying to make amends for that reputation," Twilight said hurriedly. "And...and I wasn't making it easy for her. I left because I thought..." She sighed. "I thought Starlight making friends with Trixie probably wasn't a good idea. Because I still didn't really trust Trixie."

Celestia gave Twilight a measuring stare. "Yes, let us talk about the ponies you choose to trust," she said. "You chose to forgive a unicorn who stole the Cutie Marks of an entire village of ponies, brainwashed them to be her obedient slaves, then misused powerful time travel magic to exact her revenge against you and your friends."

Starlight cringed. Trixie stared at her.

"And yet, you actively attempted to sabotage—if I'm understanding what happened tonight—Starlight Glimmer's attempts to befriend a showmare who once fell victim to a cursed magic amulet, and before that, was—at worst—a minor annoyance?"

"Trixie was not an annoyance of any kind!" Trixie protested. "Twilight Sparkle's friends heckled Trixie's performance, then two idiot colts from Ponyville decided to bring an Ursa Minor into town and Twilight Sparkle upstaged Trixie in vanquishing it!" Trixie waved a hoof. "Trixie is a blameless victim of circumstance!" Then, remembering who she was addressing, she ducked her head and offered a sheepish smile. "Ahem, Your Majesty."

Celestia turned her gaze back to Twilight, once again raising an eyebrow. Starlight Glimmer matched her expression almost perfectly. Twilight retreated two steps, hanging her head. "In my defense, Trixie didn't bother to stick around to explain her side of things. She just...left. If...if she'd told us any of this, maybe..."

Celestia sighed and shook her head. "And on top of everything else, you made no attempt to explain the situation to me before you simply left a room full of guests in the lurch."

Twilight's ears flattened against her head. "I...I'm sorry," she said, scuffing the floor with a hoof. "I'll...I'll apologize to everypony for—"

Celestia raised a hoof. "Before that, I want to see if you understand what you did wrong tonight."

"Pretty much everything," Twilight said immediately, grimacing. "I left you, Cranky, Derpy, and DJ PON-3 hanging. I tried to interfere in Starlight's attempt to make a friend on her own, which was the assignment I gave her in the first place. I chose not to trust Trixie simply because I was prejudiced against her. I nearly wrecked a friendship before it truly had a chance to begin." She sighed. "Some Princess of Friendship I turned out to be."

For the first time that evening, Celestia smiled her gentle, reassuring smile. "Twilight. Being the Princess of something doesn't mean you're the master of it. Friendship isn't something anypony can ever truly master. It's something you have to work at constantly. You may live to be as old as I am and never learn everything there is to learn about friendship. In the past year and a half, you have, I believe, seen how much you still have to learn."

"I guess I have," Twilight said.

"You may find that your student has as much to teach you as you have to teach her," Celestia continued. "Just as I learned much when you were my personal student. Including how not to repeat the same mistakes I made with Sunset Shimmer."

"I think I've already learned something from her," Twilight said. "And from Trixie."

"Good," Celestia said. "Then you can consider that lesson in the coming weeks, because the three of you are not to leave this castle again until Trixie learns to safely teleport."

Trixie gasped. "Teleport?! But...but that's advanced magic! I can't—"

"With these two helping you, I am confident you will learn," Celestia said. "And Twilight?"

"Y-yes, Your Majesty?"

"The next time you have a dinner party, you had better provide both dinner and a party."

"Of-of course, Your Majesty."

Celestia turned and left, her shoes clicking on the cold crystal. Twilight, Starlight, and Trixie turned to look at each other.

"Well...that was humiliating," Twilight said.

"Trixie is mortified beyond words," Trixie said.

"Would it be in really bad taste to gloat because you got in trouble with your mommy?" Starlight asked.

Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Would you like to spend all night cleaning the dining room by hoof?"

Starlight considered that. "Could be worth it," she said.

Twilight growled.

Trixie cleared her throat. "Perhaps...we should simply send the guests home and call it a night? Trixie always has wanted to spend the night in a castle..."

The Unlikeliest of Heroes (S1: "Dragonshy")

The dragon threatening Equestria by snoring smoke had long since packed up and left, and the six mares from Ponyville made their way back down the mountain in high spirits.

"Y'know, though," Applejack said as they hiked the long, winding trail, "there's one thing that bothers me about this whole adventure."

"Just one?" Rarity asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, it's just..." Applejack's muzzle scrunched up, and she stopped walking. The others stopped and turned to her, curious.

"What's on your mind, Applejack?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

"Well..." Applejack looked around. "Okay, so...Fluttershy, animal expert, stared down that dragon mighty good, got 'er done, Ah git that. But if'n you stop an' think about it..." She began pointing at each mare present in turn. "We got a farmer, a librarian, a dressmaker, a baker, a weatherpony, an' a...whutever Fluttershy actually does besides feedin' an' carin' for animals." She frowned. "Don't it seem odd t' y'all that this is th' group Princess Celestia sent t' vanquish a dragon?"

The other mares blinked, then looked at each other. Then they looked at Twilight.

Twilight shook her head. "Princess Celestia has her reasons," she said. "Besides, we vanquished Nightmare Moon! Of course we're the logical choice for...for saving Equestria from a giant fire-breathing dragon..."

"Really, darling," Rarity said flatly.

"Well we did!" Twilight protested.

"Technically Fluttershy did," Pinkie Pie pointed out. "The rest of us didn't do squat!"

"Hey! I kicked him!" Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Ah, yes, let us never forget Rainbow Dash's epic feat of bruising her hoof on a dragon," Rarity said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Look, all Ah'm sayin' us, we ain't exactly adventurers," Applejack said. "Why in th' name of pink lady apples would th' Princess send us an' not, Ah dunno, th' Royal Guard, or th' Wonderbolts, or...or anypony whose job it is t' deal with stuff like this?"

"Because she knows we're awesome!" Rainbow Dash asserted. "Especially me!"

"Princess Celestia has her reasons," Twilight said firmly. "She always knows the right thing to do, and she's always right. Just...just trust the Princess, alright? If somepony else had been the right pony to send, she would've sent them instead of us. She's been ruling Equestria for over a thousand years, after all! She always knows what's right."

Twilight's firm conviction quieted Applejack's protests, and the group fell silent for the rest of the return trip to Ponyville.

Later that night, when Twilight put out the lights and tucked herself in to sleep, she found she lay awake until the wee hours of morning, wondering why Princess Celestia had sent a farmer, a baker, a dressmaker, a weatherpony, a librarian, and a Fluttershy to vanquish a dragon.

By the time the rooster crowed, she still hadn't figured it out.

She debated asking Spike to send a letter to Princess Celestia asking her. But then she reminded herself of her own words.

"Princess Celestia is always right," she said as she closed her eyes. "Always right. She's always right..."

Time Won't Let You [S2: "It's About Time"]

Luna peered curiously into the Starswirl the Bearded Wing of the Canterlot Archives. "Sister? What are you doing here?"

A scroll was floating in Celestia's magic, and she had a wistful expression on her face. "Just...thinking," she said.

Luna trotted up to her and examined the scroll. Her brow furrowed. "Time travel, Celestia?"

Celestia shook her head. "Twilight Sparkle had a recent misadventure here involving this spell. I didn't get all the details—mostly just a warning to put stronger security on this wing—but apparently, she used this spell and inadvertently created a minor stable time loop."

"Oh dear," Luna said, brushing a hoof across her muzzle. "Now, what possible reason could she have to do something so foolish?"

"I don't know," Celestia said as her eyes searched the spell longingly. "But...if she was trying to warn her past self about some mistake..."

Luna caught the wistfulness in Celestia's eyes and felt alarm bells go off in her head. "Celestia? What are you thinking?"

Celestia's eyes swam over the spell. "I was thinking, if a unicorn could go back a short distance in time for long enough to pass along a warning...perhaps an alicorn could go back farther, make the spell last long enough to deliver a truly clear message..."

"Sister," Luna said warningly.

"Think of it, Luna," Celestia said softly. "I could stop myself from...from driving Sunset Shimmer away..."

"Sister, no," Luna said imploringly. "This is a dangerous line of thought—"

"Isn't there something you regret?" Celestia asked. "Something you'd change?"

Luna paused, frowning. Bowing her head, she admitted, "I...suppose if I had it to do over again, perhaps I could avoid becoming Nightm—"

Both sisters were blown off their hooves by a powerful burst of silver-violet magic which crackled with electricity and buffeted the entire room with strong gusts of wind. As the magical light faded, they saw a robed, wrinkled unicorn stallion with a stiff scrub of bristly brown beard shot through with silver and white.

Celestia blinked. "Starswirl...?"

Starswirl regarded both of them calmly, then seized the spell scroll Celestia still held in his magic, rolled it up, and filed it away in its proper place on the shelf. "Knowledge is a dangerous thing," he said gravely. "Surely you have not forgotten the many times I imparted this wisdom upon you, Celestia."

Celestia scuffed the floor with a hoof. "But—"

Starswirl closed his eyes and shook his head. "Whatever foolishness the two of you were considering...giving in to your desires would irrevocably harm the future of Equestria." He looked the two of them over and gave them a soft, kind, sad smile. "You can never erase your mistakes, my old students. I'm sorry, but you must live with your pain and learn from it."

And in a crackle of electrically-charged magic, he was gone.

Celestia and Luna looked at one another. Celestia sighed. "He has a point," she admitted.

Luna bowed her head. "Perhaps...we should seal this wing together."

The alicorn sisters left the Starswirl the Bearded Wing several minutes later, hearts heavy with the missed opportunity to unburden themselves of old, painful regrets.

A Canterlot Catastrophe [S2: "A Canterlot Wedding"]

The wedding reception had long since wound down. The bride and groom had departed hours ago. Most of the guests had dispersed to their own homes or their rooms at the castle. Twilight Sparkle was curled up in an orderly but exhausted pile in a corner of the garden, fast asleep. A low-hanging cloud floating near the DJ's stand had a rainbow tail hanging limply over one side. Pinkie Pie had long since taken over for her friend DJ PON-3, but her eyes were drooping and the hoof she was pumping in the air sagged listlessly.

Princess Celestia sat at a table in the corner opposite Twilight Sparkle, nursing a half-eaten piece of wedding cake and a glass of sparkling cider that had long since stopped sparkling. Her eyes were clouded; her muzzle was set in a grim expression of consternation and woe.

Princess Luna descended gracefully next to her. "Sister? You really should be getting to bed soon, if you are to raise the..." She trailed off. "Sister? Are you well?"

Celestia sighed. "How did I fail so spectacularly, Luna?"

Luna frowned. "To defeat Queen Chrysalis? You were taken unawares, and she had soaked up quite a bit of true, pure love to power her—"

Celestia raised a hoof. "That isn't what I meant," she said. She looked across the garden at Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle knew something was wrong. She knew the wedding shouldn't proceed. She knew the false Cadance was evil." Her ears flattened against her skull as she turned sad eyes on her sister. "How did I not know?"

"Celestia—"

Celestia shook her head. "Luna...Twilight's memories of Cadance are all from when she was a young filly, as a foalsitter. I have known Cadance most of her life. I raised her." She took a long sip of her flat, almost tasteless cider. "Should I not have seen that something was off? Shouldn't I have known Cadance had been replaced by an impostor?"

Luna looked down at the table, her eyes clouded. After a long moment, she said, "Sister...she fooled Shining Armor. If she could fool the pony who loves Cadance so deeply, the pony who committed himself to spending every day of his life together with her, then it stands to reason she could fool even you."

Celestia frowned. "Shining Armor's entire life is barely a blink of an eye to me. I am not perfect—I have made mistakes, and some of them have been truly stupendous—but my years and experience should give me enough wisdom and insight to...to at least suspect—"

Luna gently cuffed Celestia's head with a hoof. "You did not see my betrayal coming until it was too late," she said. "You've told me of Sunset Shimmer, and how you blinded yourself to her growing arrogance and disdain until it was far too late to salvage her." She looked down at the table. "And...I read your journal. I know about Mirror Sombra."

Celestia's mouth set into a grimace; she hung her head in shame, hot tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.

"Love is your greatest strength, Celestia," Luna said. "Your love makes you a gentle, compassionate, wise, and forgiving ruler. You value friendship and harmony above all else, and Equestria stands strong, whole, and at peace because of your wisdom and gentle leadership. But sometimes..." She looked away. "Sometimes, love can blind you. Sometimes, you can't see what you need to see because..." She trailed off.

Celestia sighed. "I suppose," she said heavily. "Still. It bothers me that I didn't notice anything amiss." She chuckled mirthlessly. "For Twilight Sparkle to have better judgment than I..."

"Well, being an overprotective and jealous little sister seems to have had as much a role there as not," Luna said with a smirk. "At least, if I understand the events of recent days."

"True," Celestia said. "Still, her fierce dedication to her brother, to her friends...and to have sensed something even I failed to see..."

Luna glanced over at Twilight, a mild frown on her face. "So...you believe she is ready, then?"

Celestia's left ear flicked as she followed Luna's gaze. "Not yet," she said. "But soon." She smiled fondly. "Very soon."

Simple Words [S4: "Simple Ways"]

Rarity sighed dreamily as she cleared away the last vestiges of her shrine to Trenderhoof.

"Guess th' honeymoon's over, huh sugarcube?" Applejack asked as she carefully straightened the dress she'd borrowed, now freshly laundered and back on its proper ponnequin.

Rarity sighed theatrically. "Yes, well...after everything that's happened recently, I've decided that perhaps Trenderhoof simply isn't my type."

"Meanin'?"

"Meaning," Rarity said as she scrubbed tape residue off her mirror, "that anypony who doesn't appreciate me for me and recognize my fabulosity simply isn't a pony who appeals to me."

Applejack chuckled. "An' you ride Rainbow Dash about her ego." Shaking her head, she sighed, "Ah'm mighty sorry, Rarity. Ah never meant t'—"

"Oh, it isn't your fault," Rarity said with a smile. "And I'm sorry I went a bit...off the rails there." She paused, then ducked her head. "I suppose my whole 'simple and country' routine was rather insulting, wasn't it?"

"A little," Applejack admitted. "Do you really see me an' mah family that way?"

"Of course not, darling!" Rarity said hastily. Clearing her throat, she looked away slightly. "W-well...admittedly, I suppose I do, sometimes, think your country manners, your countryisms, and your, err...overall, err..."

"Countryness?" Applejack supplied with an arched eyebrow.

"Ahem, yes," Rarity said. "And I mean...I know we live in different worlds, you and I, and the fact that I'm all about fashion and culture and society and you're all about chores and farming and, and...square dances..." Rarity grimaced. "Well, that's simply who we are, and I don't think any less of you for being who you are. Because, after all, you are my friend." She smiled.

Applejack chuckled. "Well, sometimes Ah think you're a fussy drama queen who gets all worked up over silly things an' sometimes you work mah last nerve, but...well, shoot, like you done jes' said, you're mah friend."

"Awww...!" Rarity rushed over and swept Applejack up into a hug, which was returned with almost bone-crushing earth pony vigor.

"But if you ever make fun'a th' way Ah talk ever again," Applejack said softly into her ear, "Ah'll do Big Mac's touchdown dance on your face."

"G-got it," Rarity wheezed out as her ribs creaked.

In Bad Faith [S4: "Leap of Faith"]

Having once again been shown up by the Apples of Ponyville, the Flim Flam Brothers stood at the west road out of town.

"So, where to next, brother?"

"I'm thinking Appleloosa, brother!"

"Has a nice ring to it, plus the Buffalo are—"

"Excuse me, gentlecolts. I'd like a word."

The brothers turned at the soft voice. A familiar mare trotted up to them—familiar, yet different.

The last time they'd seen her, she didn't have wings.

"Well, well! If it isn't Princess Twilight Sparkle!" Flim said.

"A pleasure, Your Highness," Flam added, bowing.

"Can we interest you in some of our high quality merchandise?" Flim offered.

"At the...royal discount, of course," added Flam.

"Of course!" Flim agreed.

"No thank you," Twilight said primly, flaring her wings. "I've just been informed that the two of you have been selling a fake tonic and offering ponies false promises about its effects."

"Lies and slander!" Flam scoffed.

"Balderdash," Flim added.

Twilight narrowed her eyes. "I analyzed a sample of the tonic myself," she said. "In my personal laboratory. It has no medicinal value whatsoever."

Flim and Flam glanced at each other.

"The last time you two were in Ponyville," Twilight said, "you weren't really doing anything wrong. You were kind of jerks to my friend Applejack and her family, but there wasn't really anything illegal about what you were doing, and the Apples agreed to that whole silly cider contest." She pawed the ground with a hoof. "This time, however, you were scamming ponies out of money with false advertising and a blatant con game."

"And...and what of it?" Flim asked, trying not to show his nervousness.

"And if you know what's good for you, you'll learn from this and try your hoof at making a living as honest businessponies. Learn from Applejack. She's successful because she's honest and hardworking. She doesn't lie to ponies and scam them out of their bits. She does business in a simple, honest, and straightforward way. Ponies like her. Ponies respect her. Ponies do business with her again and again."

Flam grimaced. "Fine points all, but surely you realize that for travelling salesponies, things are a bit more...cutthroat."

"It's a hard life on the road," Flim added.

"Tough to say what'll take off in any given market."

"Competition from established local businesses."

"We have to stand out or we won't make any sales."

"It's just part of how we do business."

Twilight's eyes grew tighter still. "Then maybe," she said dangerously, "you should stop being travelling salesponies and open a real shop somewhere. Maybe a Barnyard Bargains franchise? I'm sure Filthy Rich would cut you a nice percentage."

"We, uhh...prefer to be our own bosses."

"One hundred percent of the profits, that's the only way to go!"

"Plus, we like to keep our overhead low."

Twilight massaged the bridge of her muzzle with a hoof. "Fine, whatever. I honestly don't care what you two do with your lives, so long as you're not taking advantage of other ponies. But there is one thing I know you gentlecolts won't be doing ever again."

Flim and Flam glanced at one another. "And, err...what might that be?" Flam asked.

Twilight glared at them. "You will never set hoof in Ponyville again," she declared. "I may not be used to the idea yet or comfortable with the power I have now, but I am a Princess of Equestria, and I'm issuing a royal proclamation." She arched her neck and spread her wings to their full span. "By order of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the unicorns Flim and Flam are banished from Ponyville forevermore and forbidden from conducting business within five miles of the town borders."

The two stallions retreated a step. "Err...you uhh...err..."

"Are you serious?"

Twilight's horn glowed, and a startled frog appeared in front of the stallions. With a blast of her magic, the frog turned into an orange.

The twins stared at it.

"Any questions?" Twilight asked sweetly.

"Uhh...no, Your Highness," Flim said.

"We'll just, err...be on our way, and..." Flam hedged.

Quickly hitching themselves to their wagon, the stallions turned tail and ran.

Twilight smirked, then turned the orange back into a frog. "Sorry about that," she said.

The frog croaked at her and hopped away.

Unmapped Destiny [S5: "The Cutie Map"]

Princess Celestia slowly circled the Cutie Map, examining it critically from every angle. "Hmm," she murmured thoughtfully. "And you say your Cutie Marks started glowing?"

Twilight nodded. "And, well...it was sort of a tingling...feeling, I don't really know how to describe it. Glowing, tingling, just...generally going crazy. And this map, well...our Cutie Marks appeared above it and pointed to this remote village."

"Curious," Celestia said. "I'll be honest; this is a magic I've never encountered before." She shrugged, ruffling her wings. "There is still a great deal about the Tree of Harmony that remains unknown. I was as surprised as everypony else when it created the chest, and even more surprised when the chest turned out to be a seed." She tilted her head. "Would you object to my sending a few scholars from Canterlot to study this map? I assure you they won't interfere with your daily routine."

Twilight bounced eagerly on her hooves. "I would love to host Canterlot scholars and lead a study of the Cutie Map! This could be the start of a lecture series on Cutie Mark Magic!"

Celestia smiled. "Very well. I'll make the arrangements tomorrow." She frowned as she peered at the small village on the outskirts of Equestria. "I'm also going to need to send the royal surveyors out to that village you spoke of. If Starlight Glimmer's former followers truly intend to remain there, the village will need to be properly documented and censused."

"Princess Celestia? What do you know about Starlight Glimmer?" Twilight asked.

Celestia shook her head. "I've never heard of her," she said. "Which is strange, because a unicorn so powerful as to be able to remove Cutie Marks...you'd think I'd have heard of such a pony." Celestia gave Twilight a grave stare. "You should be cautious, Twilight. In my experience, an adversary such as Starlight Glimmer rarely simply disappears, never to be seen again."

Twilight swallowed nervously. "You think...she'll be out for revenge?"

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "She would be foolish to attack an alicorn. No matter how powerful she is, surely she realizes her magic can never overcome yours." She sighed. "Still...this entire incident is disturbing. Most disturbing indeed." She gently brushed a wing over Twilight's back. "Be careful, my most faithful student."

"I will, Your Highness."

Celestia laughed softly. "You're never going to stop doing that, are you?" Twilight blushed. Celestia shook her head. "Still...don't obsess over this. For now, focus on this curious map and learning its secrets. If it has the power to..." She tilted her head and furrowed her brow. "Detect harmony problems, I suppose? Then its magic is on a level far beyond anything I have ever witnessed." She stroked her muzzle. "Perhaps we should even consult Discord on this..."

"I'm not sure that's the best idea," Twilight said.

"Well, we'll put a pin in that for now." She smiled. "For now, you should get some rest. You've had quite an adventure, after all."

As Celestia turned to leave, Twilight called out to her. "Princess Celestia?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Why is my Cutie Mark on the Tree of Harmony?"

Celestia turned and faced her curiously.

"I mean...I read in your old journal that Starswirl...knew whose Cutie Mark..."

Celestia smiled, her eyes twinkling.

Twilight's ears folded back. "Am I...I mean was I..." She swallowed nervously. "Is all this...destiny?" She dipped her head. "Was the Tree of Harmony...waiting for me?"

"Twilight Sparkle...that's a question even I can't answer. Your destiny, your connection to the Tree of Harmony, this castle, this map...this is your journey, and I don't know where it leads." She smiled. "But I promise I will be there for you every step of the way, my little pony."

With that, she left.

Twilight sighed, trotted to her throne, and sat down, looking over the Cutie Map in contemplative silence.

Dethroning Moment of Spike [S5: "Princess Spike"]

As the dust settled, the princesses, Spike, and the delegates started at the scattered pile of gems that their unity statue had now dissolved into twice.

Princess Cadance tilted her head. "You know...a thought occurs." She glanced at Princess Twilight. "Maybe we should've used some sort of adhesive instead of just expecting this huge statue made of oddly-shaped gemstones to hold together all on its own?"

Twilight scratched her head. "Well," she said slowly, "it's what Dad does with his jigsaw puzzles..."

Author's Note

Yyyyeah that's allI could think of for this one. :ajsleepy:

The Fence is Mended, but the Gate is Still a Little Squeaky [S5: "Amending Fences"]

Long after the party was over, Twilight Sparkle was sharing a quiet moment with her rediscovered friend at her old tower home, which she had decided to ask Moondancer to take ownership of permanently.

"But you know," Moondancer said as she surveyed her new collection, "it still kinda hurts that I gave you a book as a gift and you just left it behind like that."

Twilight grimaced. "Yeah...the thing is, my leaving Canterlot happened kinda...fast. I mean, Princess Celestia sent me to Ponyville to check up on the Summer Sun Celebration preparations, then Nightmare Moon returned, then I bonded with a bunch of crazy mares, then we found the Elements of Harmony, then we defeated Nightmare Moon, then Celestia assigned me to live in Ponyville..." Twilight shrugged. "So much changed in my life so fast, it just honestly didn't even occur to me to come back to Canterlot and rummage through my stuff. When Celestia sent a few boxes of my personal effects from Canterlot, I didn't think to ask her to inventory everything I had in the tower here."

Moondancer frowned. "Okay, I guess that makes sense."

"Anyway, it's...probably a good thing I left it behind," Twilight said, bowing her head. "If I'd taken it with me to Ponyville, it probably would've been destroyed. I lost almost everything I owned when Tirek burned down the Golden Oak Library."

Moondancer blinked. "Oh," she said softly. "I'm...sorry, Twilight." She looked away. "I can't...I can't even imagine that."

"Yeah," Twilight said. "I mean, most of the books in the library weren't original editions or anything, I only had a few irreplacable volumes, and most of those survived because I kept them in the basement, but I lost some books I hadn't finished reading yet, and...well..." Twilight sighed. "I lost a lot of things that had sentimental value. Mostly photo albums and scrapbooks, keepsakes from adventures and fun times I've had with my friends, not to mention Spike's entire comic book collection and, well...everything he owned that wasn't a gemstone, basically."

Moondancer's ears pinned back. "That's...that's awful," she said. She bowed her head. "I was...at the library when Tirek attacked. I remember how it felt after he drained my magic, but..." She sighed. "Honestly? Even when I got my magic back, I..." She shook her head. "I barely even use my magic anymore. I just...spend all my time studying." She sighed. "For me, Tirek was a minor annoyance more than anything...I guess I never stopped to think how much damage he really did." She looked around, flicking an ear. "Are you sure you want to just give me your old tower? I mean, it sounds like you've lost so much already..."

"Well, I've gained more than I've lost," Twilight said. "And there are things you can't lose so easily. Friendships, memories, the love of the ponies closest to you..." She smiled hopefully. "And sometimes, if you look hard enough, you find something you lost that you never knew was missing in the first place."

Moondancer chuckled softly. "Yeah," she agreed.

Twilight smirked. "I think I will take that book you gave me back to Ponyville with me. It'll be a good addition to my new library, and it'll be a constant reminder to keep in touch."

Moondancer smiled. "Yeah, keeping in touch sounds good." She paused, then added, "So wait...you lived in a library?"

Twilight giggled. "Yeah," she said. She sighed. "Lotta good memories of that library..."

"Oh, sorry...didn't mean to upset you."

Twilight waved a hoof. "I'm getting over it and moving on. My friends have been working hard to help my new castle feel more like a home. It's still taking some getting used to, though."

Moondancer raised an eyebrow. "Castle? You have a castle?"

Twilight grinned...

* * * * *

Moondancer stared through the telescope in the observatory. "Wow," she said. "It's...really bright."

"I know, right?" Twilight said. "It takes some getting used to."

"How long did it take to...I mean..." Moondancer looked back at Twilight. "They were working on that before Tirek, right?"

Twilight shook her head. "It grew out of a seed from the Tree of Harmony. I'll tell you the whole story one day."

Moondancer blinked. "The Tree of Harmony is real? I thought it was just an obscure legend."

"It's real," Twilight said. "I'm surprised you've even heard of it."

"I've read every obscure legend dating back to the founding of Equestria," Moondancer said, pushing up her glasses. "Even so, I've only seen the Tree of Harmony mentioned in one book."

"Well, if you ever come down to Ponyville, I'll show it to you," Twilight said with a smile.

Moondancer tilted her head. "I...I'll think about it." She looked at the distant castle again, then down at Ponyville. "It's so...different from Canterlot."

"It sure is," Twilight agreed fondly. "I can't think of anyplace I'd rather live." She sighed and stretched her wings. "Well, I hate to just take off on you, but I do need to get back. I'm supposed to meet my friend Rarity in two hours for our weekly spa date, and she hates to be kept waiting." She paused, tilting her head. "You know, Moondancer...you could probably use a spa treatment. You should talk to Minuette and the girls, see if they're up for it."

Moondancer frowned. "What's that supposed to mean, I could use a spa treatment?"

"Well, it's just...a little pampering and some time in the steam room can make you feel like a new pony, you know?" Twilight smiled. "And maybe you could update your look a little."

Moondancer's muzzle crinkled. "What's wrong with my look?"

"Nothing!" Twilight said hastily. "It's just...you have such a pretty mane, it could use some TLC and maybe a little restyling, and...well..." She raised a hoof. "Don't take this the wrong way, but your eyebrows..."

Moondancer narrowed her eyes. "My eyebrows?"

Twilight sheepishly conjured a mirror and held it up for Moondancer. "They're not really your best feature," she said quietly.

Moondancer stared at her reflection, blinked twice, and wrinkled her nose. "I...guess they could use a trim," she said.

"I'm not trying to change you or anything," Twilight said hastily. "I just think...well, spending time relaxing at the spa with friends, getting a little makeover...it always does wonders for me! And it's fun!"

Moondancer smiled. "Fun, huh? I'll...I'll think about it."

"Great!" Twilight clapped her hooves. "I'll write you in a couple of days! Think about taking a trip to Ponyville soon, okay?" With that, she took off into the morning sky, headed for the giant crystal castle in the valley below.

Watching her go, Moondancer smirked. "Yeah...we might be friends again, Twilight, but I think I'll take this whole being-around-other-ponies thing one step at a time, and getting my eyebrows plucked and trimmed sounds a bit too much for my comfort." As she turned to descend the steps into the tower, she paused and reached up a hoof to run it through her shaggy eyebrows. She frowned. "Well...maybe."

O Brother, Where Art Thy Shame? [S5: "Brotherhooves Social"]

Applejack stared at her siblings, eyes bugging out of her head. "You...did...WHUT?!"

Big Mac looked away, blushing through his cherry red coat.

Applejack snorted...snickered...then burst out laughing.

A Few Closing Re-Marks [S5: "The Cutie Re-Mark"]

Princess Twilight Sparkle had just announced her decision concerning the fate of the unicorn criminal Starlight Glimmer.

"Umm, Twilight?" Fluttershy spoke up timidly. "I'm...I'm sorry to disagree with you, but...I would just like to point out that, well...Starlight Glimmer has hurt a lot of ponies with her mean magic."

"She's got a point," Rainbow Dash said with a frown. "I mean, she went back in time and nearly destroyed Equestria!"

"And she did steal the Cutie Marks of an entire village of ponies," Rarity added.

"And brainwashed them into wearing creepy smiles and being all 'ONE OF US, ONE OF US!'" Pinkie Pie put in.

Twilight looked around at her friends, ears folding back.

"Ah guess whut we're all sayin'," Applejack summed up, "is that, well...it's fine an' all that you wanna give 'er a chance t' learn friendship, but...she's kinda got a lot t' answer for."

The others nodded and murmured in agreement.

Twilight sighed. "I know she does," she said. "And I'm not forgetting that. We're going to have some very long talks about all the bad things she's done, and I'm going to let her think about how best she can make amends for all the harm she's caused. The thing is, though..." She took a deep breath. "Think about all the big threats we've faced. Nightmare Moon. Discord. Chrysalis. Sombra. Sunset Shimmer. Tirek. The Sirens." She looked around at her friends. "There's one thing that's true about every villain we've fought together."

"Uhh...we didn't fight Sunset Shimmer or the Sirens with you," Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Not important," Twilight said impatiently. "Look...some of the enemies we've dealt with, well...they just couldn't be reasoned with. We didn't have any choice but to deal with them in the harshest way possible. But...then there are the ones we could reason with. We have Princess Luna back because we showed her the light of friendship. Discord is reformed now because Princess Celestia was willing to take a chance on him. Sunset Shimmer is in a better place now because she made friends and changed her ways." She glanced at the door, beyond which Starlight Glimmer was awaiting her fate. "I want to take a chance on Starlight Glimmer. I want to believe she can change. I want to prove I'm a princess who doesn't just lock her problems away in Tartarus or banish them to the moon."

Her friends regarded her for a long moment as she fell silent.

"Well shucks, sugarcube," Applejack said, "why didn't ya just say so?"

"Yeah, now that we understand where you're comin' from with this, we can totally get behind trying to reform Miss Crazypants!"

"I can make friends with almost anypony!" Pinkie Pie added cheerfully.

"W-well...I guess she deserves a chance..." Fluttershy added.

Rarity sighed. "Very well, darling," she said. "Your logic is sound, I must admit. Besides, I have a feeling Princess Celestia would approve of your plan to reform Starlight Glimmer even if we disagreed."

Twilight smiled. "I'll be counting on all of you to make sure I don't screw this up or...or regret it." She took a deep breath. "Well...time to go face my new student."

Saddled With Nepotism [S6: "The Saddle Row Review"]

Mr. Stripes was busy dusting and rearranging his tiny miniature doll furniture collection when there was a knock on his door.

"Coming," he called gruffly, stomping over to the front door and throwing it open. "Da?"

His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as he beheld the towering white alicorn standing on his stoop.

"Mr. Stripes, I presume?"

Mr. Stripes took a step back, lowering his head in reverence. "P-Princess Celestia," he stammered. "What can I do for you, Your Majesty?"

Princess Celestia brandished a newspaper at him. "Mr. Stripes, I've just read a most interesting review of a certain boutique on Saddle Row. Specifically, Rarity's new boutique."

"Ah, yes, yes, Miss Rarity, most valued tenant," Mr. Stripes said thickly. "Give my precious daughter job, graciously and generously—"

"Mr. Stripes," Princess Celestia interrupted firmly, "before you say anything else, there is one thing you must know."

"Da?"

"Are you aware, Mr. Stripes, that Rarity is a personal friend of the Crown?"

"Ah, was not aware, no," Mr. Stripes said. "Is good to know! Good for business, yes?"

"Mr. Stripes." Princess Celestia's tone was more forbidding now. "She is a friend of all four Princesses. She is one of Equestria's most celebrated heroes. Rarity, Mr. Stripes, is a very important pony."

"Da?" Mr. Stripes began to feel nervous about the direction this conversation was taking.

"Naturally, I am relieved that the opening of her new boutique in Manehattan went off successfully in spite of the many difficulties mentioned in the newspaper," Princess Celestia said. "But one thing the article mentioned bothered me, and I asked Princess Twilight about it personally. You do remember Princess Twilight Sparkle, do you not? I believe you met on the day in question."

"Ah...nyet. Do not recall meeting Princess Twilight."

Princess Celestia narrowed her eyes. "You stood in the presence of an alicorn and failed to notice her?"

Mr. Stripes tugged at his collar nervously. "Was not wearing crown," he protested feebly. "Hard to say if was princess."

"I see," Princess Celestia said. "In any case, Mr. Stripes, the thing that bothers me about the entire incident—well, one of many things, and there are certain other ponies I will be having words with, including Rarity herself—is that you extorted Rarity into hiring your daughter for a job she is not qualified for by threatening to raise her rent if she did not comply."

"Ahh...was joke!" Mr. Stripes insisted, laughing heartily. "Was only joke! Would never—"

"Because that is quite an unethical and illegal business practice in Equestria, Mr. Stripes," Princess Celestia said with a stern frown.

Mr. Stripes quailed. "What you have me do?" he whined. "Daughter wanted job. Saw building I own had store needed workers. Was good opportunity, no?"

"No," Princess Celestia said. "A good father, a good landlord, would not stronghoof a pony into hiring any member of his family under duress. Or anypony else, for that matter."

Mr. Stripes took a step back. "But...but she was so happy, have opportunity to work in clothing shop..."

"But is she qualified to work in an upscale boutique?" Princess Celestia asked. "The way I understand it, Rarity was forced to contend with an onslaught of ill-conceived ideas that could very well have sabotaged her business. It's a minor miracle that the fashion elite of Manehattan bought it as part of the boutique's charm."

"See? Was good for business! In the end, everypony happy!"

Princess Celestia slammed a hoof on the floor. "Do I look happy, Mr. Stripes?"

Mr. Stripes made a strangled squeaking sound. "N-nyet," he said. "Look like ready to fight dragon, actually."

Princess Celestia arched her neck to look down her muzzle at Mr. Stripes. "You will tell Rarity that she is free to choose whether or not to retain Plaid Stripes as an employee, and that she is free to reject any of Plaid's ideas she deems unsuitable for her business, without fear of reprisal from you. Is that understood?"

Mr. Stripes' head drooped and he tucked his tail between his legs. "Da."

"Good." Princess Celestia turned to leave. "I think you will find, Mr. Stripes, that all of Equestria benefits when every citizen practices honesty and integrity when dealing with their fellow pony."

Once the princess was gone and the door closed, Mr. Stripes trotted weakly over to his sofa and flopped down. "Should never have left Stalliongrad..."

Flutter Stutter [S6: "Flutter Brutter"]

A week had passed since Zephyr Breeze had learned to apply himself, graduated from mane therapy school, and found a job as a stylist in Manehattan. Fluttershy swelled with pride when she got the news about her brother's new job, and couldn't wait to share it with her friends.

To that end, she called them all together for lunch at their favorite outdoor cafe. Once everypony was seated and had ordered, she laid the letter from Zephyr on the table. "Good news, everypony! Zephyr Breeze has a job in Manehattan! He's moving in with somepony who was looking for a roommate, he's enthusiastic about working for a living, he's really turned his life around!"

"That's great, Fluttershy!" Twilight said happily. "I'm glad you were able to get through to him the value of hard work and following through on things."

"I just hope it sticks," Rainbow muttered. "The fewer surprise visits we get from Zeph, the better."

"Well, I'm quite proud of you for turning your shiftless brother's life around, darling," Rarity said as she squeezed a lemon wedge into her water.

"But you know," Spike said as he rolled a lemon around on the table like a ball, "it's kinda funny that you read your brother the riot act for not having a job when, y'know...you kinda don't have one either."

Everything froze.

Six heads turned slowly to face Fluttershy.

Fluttershy's ears wilted. "I...I...I..."

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt," Pinkie said with a wince.

Fluttershy made a quiet, squeaky whimpering noise.

Applejack slapped Spike upside the head. "Way to go, genius," she muttered.

Even Stranger Still [S6: "Stranger Than Fanfiction"]

The morning after she returned from the convention, Rainbow made her rounds around Ponyville, distributing souvenirs. Her last stop was Twilight's castle.

"Hey Twilight," she called out as she entered the throne room, where Twilight and Starlight were reading some dusty old magic books.

"Oh! Hi, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called. "How was the convention?"

"It was AWESOME!" Rainbow cried. Then, remembering how crestfallen Twilight was at having to miss it, she amended, "It was a'ight. Kinda got into a scrape with..." She paused, then glanced at Starlight. She shook her head. "Our, y'know, friend."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Starlight knows," she said. "I told her."

"Oh." Rainbow blinked. "Isn't that kinda...breaking a promise?"

Twilight shrugged. "Starlight's one of us now, I think she can be trusted. So what was that about Daring?"

"Oh! Right. Well, it turns out she was only at the convention because she was in the middle of an adventure and Caballeron was hot on her tail."

"So she decided to blend in with the Daring Do cosplayers?" Twilight said. "Smart."

"Yeah, well...it didn't turn out that way," Rainbow said. "Caballeron and his goons kidnapped me and this dude I met at the convention, we got into this zany adventure, ended up trapped in an ancient temple, nearly got eaten by a crocodile monster..."

Twilight's ears wilted. "I missed out on a real-life Daring Do adventure?"

"Eh, you're better off," Rainbow said. "You didn't have to listen to Quibble Pants' constant complaining. And he wouldn't stop rambling all the way back to the hotel!"

"Quibble Pants?" Starlight asked.

"The dude I met that got kidnapped with me. He's...kind of an annoying Daring Do fan. I mean, he's alright and all, but he never shuts up and he's kind of a know-it-all. Even more than Twilight!"

Twilight blinked. "Gee, thanks," she muttered sourly.

"So how was Griffonstone?" Rainbow asked. "Did you see Gilda?"

Twilight brightened. "Actually, yes I did! The Griffons have sort of made her their leader. She's rallied them and is leading them in rebuilding Griffonstone." She smiled. "Princess Celestia thinks it's only a matter of time before they decide to make Gilda the new Queen of the Griffons."

"That sounds pretty awesome," Rainbow said. "Sounds like a lotta hard work, though. Hey, maybe I should write her a letter when I get home."

"Good thinking."

"Oh hey, I got you something," Rainbow said. Nosing around in her saddlebag, she pulled out a flat cellophane bag.

Twilight took it in her magic and examined it. On the front was a depiction of Daring Do in a rather compromising position. Twilight blinked, tilting her head. "Is this...is this a donkeymakura?"

"Yeah!" Rainbow said. "They had a couple different ones. Some of 'em were kinda..." She shuddered. "Creepy. But this one's awesome! I got one for you, one for me..."

"Umm...thanks," Twilight said, setting it aside gently. Starlight examined it and made a disturbed face. "So, what else did you—"

The throne room doors opened, and a dark orange stallion with a grey-streaked dark mane walked in. "Really? You have this huge gigantic castle and no guards? Ever hear of security? What if assassins were to come in? Or stalkers? Or—"

Rainbow's ears and wings drooped. "Quibble! You're...here. In...Ponyville."

"It's on my way home, so I decided to drop by," Quibble said. He looked around. "Well, if this isn't just the biggest, shiniest, gaudiest waste of taxpayer money..."

"Actually, it grew out of a seed from the Tree of Harmony," Twilight said. "So it didn't cost anypony anything." She frowned. "I'm sorry, you are...?"

"Quibble Pants," Quibble said. "I met Rainbow Dash at the Daring Do convention. A unicorn in town said she was headed this way and was a friend of the princess." He tilted his head. "Which...would be you. Huh. You're...not what I pictured."

Twilight blinked. "I'm not?"

"Well...you're a princess, right? You should be, you know..." He waved a hoof vaguely. "Well, for starters, you're not even wearing a crown! I mean, every time you see Princess Celestia, she's got the crown, the peytral, the golden horseshoes...and Princess Luna! Now there's a mare who knows how to look regal! But you, well..." He frowned. "If I didn't see the wings, I honestly wouldn't have even thought you were an alicorn."

"Uh-huh."

"Don't pay any attention to him," Rainbow said, dragging a hoof down her face. "He's always like this."

"And what are you even the princess of?" Quibble went on. "I mean, heh, Princess of Friendship? How can you rule over Friendship? Do you run this town when you're not, aheheh, 'ruling' friendship? And another thing, why is your castle so close to Canterlot? It seems to me that it'd be a better use of royal resources to have you out somewhere in western Equestria, you know, farther away from the capital? That way..."

"Uuuuuuugh," Twilight groaned, sinking below the Cutie Map, eyes half-lidded.

Starlight Glimmer just produced some freshly popped popcorn out of nowhere and kicked back, an amused smirk on her face.

Buckball Post-Season [S6: "Buckball Season"]

As the train pulled out of Appleloosa, Rainbow Dash looked around at her friends. "So, is it just me, or did that Kettle Bell gal on the Appleloosa team look...familiar?"

"Now that you mention it," Applejack said, scratching her muzzle thoughtfully, "she did remind me of somepony..."

The car suddenly shook violently, a loud thump! sounding from the roof. Fluttershy let out a shriek of terror and dived under her seat.

The door to the car flew open, and Kettle Bell stomped...gingerly in. "Sorry to bother you, dears," she said in a kindly voice as she hauled a massive box off her back. "Your train left before I could finish putting together this care package. Could you please deliver this to my son Bulk Biceps?"

The ponies stared at her, wide-eyed. "Uhh...sure," Rainbow Dash said.

"Thank you, dearie," Kettle Bell said. "Tell him mommy sends her love!"

With that, she flew out the open door, her tiny wings carrying her ponderously back to Appleloosa.

Applejack, Snails, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy all stared at each other.

"Well," Applejack said. "That's a thing that happened."

What the Buckball, Girls? [S6: "Buckball Season"]

Author's Note

It had to happen sooner or later:

I had a second Postscript idea for an episode I've already done a Postscript for.

Obviously, the solution to this is to write and post it anyway. :rainbowwild:

What the Buckball, Girls? [S6: "Buckball Season"]

The Ponyville Buckball Team had long since returned victorious. A party to celebrate their victory had lasted well into the night.

The next day, the tired but happy team and their coaches—minus Snails, who had chores to do at home—met up with their friends at Twilight's castle.

Their unicorn and alicorn friends.

Who were not terribly happy with them.

"Uhh...hey guys," Rainbow Dash said as she caught the disapproving looks on the faces of Rarity, Starlight Glimmer, and Twilight Sparkle. "What's up?" Her eyes widened. "Is there a friendship problem? A Cutie Map summons? Are we about to have an awesome adventure?"

"Snails," Twilight said sharply. "Snails."

Rainbow blinked. "Snails? What about Snails?"

Rarity narrowed her eyes. "You two," she said, pointing from Applejack to Rainbow Dash, "gathered every unicorn in Ponyville to try out for your little buckball team."

"Every unicorn but three," Starlight added, gesturing to herself, Rarity, and Twilight.

"Why didn't you invite any of us to your tryouts?" Twilight asked in a hurt tone.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack blinked, then looked at each other. Their eyes widened. "Oh horseapples," Rainbow said.

"Umm..." Applejack hemmed and hawed for a moment, looking at her three irritated friends. "W-well...y'see..."

"We didn't think it'd be Rarity's, y'know, thing," Rainbow said.

"And Twi, well, yer a princess now...you're awful busy an' stuff," Applejack said uncertainly, her eyes darting left and right.

"And let me guess. You just completely forgot I even existed," Starlight said archly, folding her hooves.

Two heads hung limply in shame.

Pinkie's mane drooped. "Hey, it's not just them," she said. "I guess me and Fluttershy didn't think about it either."

"We're sorry, girls," Fluttershy said, dragging her hoof across the floor contritely.

Starlight, Twilight, and Rarity looked at one another.

"It's just...we feel a little left out," Twilight said. "Even if we'd have had to decline, even if we'd probably have agreed with Snails being your unicorn for the team...you didn't even invite us to the tryouts."

"Wow," Rainbow said. "Some friends we are..."

Rarity sighed. "We forgive you, of course," she said. "It just hurts to be left out of something your friends are all doing together."

In the corner, Spike snorted. "Gee, can't imagine how that feels..."

Every Little Thing She Does Is Crazy [S6: "Every Little Thing She Does"]

Six mares and a dragon sat in a circle in Applejack's barn.

"What did you girls want to see me about?" Twilight Sparkle asked her friends.

The other mares looked around at each other.

"See, here's the thing, darling," Rarity said once all eyes turned to her. "Yes, we accepted Starlight's apology. Yes, we worked with her to repair all the damage she caused. Yes, we've patched things over. It's just, well..." She trailed off, looking to the others for support.

"She's kind of a psychopath," Pinkie said, her ears flopping down against her skull.

"She seems to have a hard time learning from her mistakes," Fluttershy said gently.

Applejack cleared her throat. "Thing is...we let you talk us inta lettin' that hind end of a horseapple stay in Ponyville after all she's done when her rump oughtta be in Tartarus. An' we're stickin' to that. Fer now."

"But she's used up her get out of jerk free card," Rainbow said, crossing her hooves. "If she slips up again, you've got three choices."

Twilight blinked. "I do?"

"You do," Applejack said. "One: You ship 'er off to the Crystal Empire an' make 'er Sunburst's problem."

"Two," Rarity put in firmly. "You encourage her to go on the road with Trixie. Permanently."

"And...three?" Twilight asked, taking a step back.

Rainbow pounded her hooves together. "The five of us drag her to Tartarus ourselves like we should've done in the first place."

Twilight's ears pinned back. "Girls? Aren't...aren't you overreacting just a little—"

"No," Fluttershy said, stepping forward. Her voice was soft but stern. "We're willing to deal with a lot. We've reformed Discord. We've forgiven you for turning Ponyville upside-down with your magic in the past. We've accepted Trixie. We even managed to get my lazy brother to turn his life around. But Starlight...she's damaged, Twilight. She's unstable. She needs professional help. And she's not getting it."

Twilight frowned, biting her lip.

"So that's how it is," Rainbow said. "I'm sorry it has to be that way, but either you get her the help she needs and fix her, or the next time she pulls a stunt like this, she leaves Ponyville."

Spike sighed. "I gotta go with the girls on this one, Twilight," he said. "Me and you, we know Starlight better than any of them, and I'd hate to see anything bad happen to her, but honestly? She's kind of a mess, and we haven't really tried anything except friendship and trust." He toed at the dirt floor of the barn. "Sometimes...sometimes that just isn't enough."

Twilight bowed her head. "You're right," she said. "Starlight...does need more help than I can give her just by trying to teach her. I'll...I'll see what I can do." She looked around at her friends, tears in her eyes. "But don't talk about dragging her off to Tartarus. Please? There are...there are better ways."

The girls looked at each other, then back at Twilight.

"We don't want to do that," Rarity said. "So please, find a way to make her stable. Because we know forcing you to send her away will hurt you as much as it will hurt her, and that's the last thing we want to do."

Twilight turned away, tears spilling on the ground. "I need to be alone for a little while," she said roughly. "I'll...I'll see you girls later." With that, she teleported away.

The remaining mares and Spike looked at one another, faces sad.

"It...it had to be done," Rainbow said. "Right?"

"Right," Fluttershy agreed, her tone uncertain.

"I think I'm gonna go cry for a few hours," Pinkie said, her hair drooping. "Bye, girls."

As the friends went their separate ways, they reflected on the friendship lesson they'd all learned from this experience:

Sometimes, you end up hurting your friends even though it's the last thing you want to do. And when that happens...it hurts you just as deeply.

Who the Apple Lays [S6: "Where the Apple Lies"]

Apple Bloom tossed and turned fitfully in her sleep.

Earlier in the day, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith had told her about the time Applejack's terrible and outrageous lying had led to calamity. The story had been as hilarious as it had been surprising and horrifying, and Apple Bloom had enjoyed it immensely, but now, hours later, something was bothering her.

As the first bright glow of dawn filtered through her window, Apple Bloom's eyes snapped open wide. "That's it!"

* * * * *

A wide-eyed, alert Apple Bloom with dark circles under her eyes joined the family at breakfast. "So hey, uhh..." She fiddled with her hooves. "There's one thing about y'all's story yesterday that don't add up."

"Oh?" Granny asked as she laid out grits and hay bacon on the table.

Apple Bloom looked around the table. "So, uhh...if'n Applejack wasn't much older'n Ah am right now when that all happened, that'd mean Ah wasn't born yet," she said. "But, well...y'all were fightin' over who'd take over th' farm, right?" She looked from Applejack to Big Macintosh. "But if'n this all happened before Ah was born, why were y'all goin' on about who was gonna run Sweet Apple Acres? Ah mean, Mama an' Papa woulda..." She trailed off, then added suspiciously, "An' for that matter, y'all didn't mention them even once in that whole story!"

The three elder Apples froze, looking at one another with deer-in-the-headlights expressions.

"W-well now," Applejack said, eyes darting back and forth, "they were, uhh...off campin'! Yeah, they was off campin' when all that happened! Shucks howdy, were they—"

"Nnnnope," Big Macintosh rumbled, frowning.

Applejack froze, her jaw working. "Second honeymoon?" Big Macintosh shook his head. "Vacation!"

"Nope."

"...off seein' Aunt an' Uncle Orange?"

Apple Bloom folded her hooves. "Okay, we all know you can't lie for beans, Applejack," she said. "Granny? You wanna give 'er a try?"

Granny coughed and looked away. "Whut's that y'say, dearie?" she asked loudly.

Apple Bloom groaned. "Big Mac?"

"Eeeeeeeenope."

Apple Bloom facehoofed. Glaring at Applejack, she said, "You do know Ah'm smart enough t' put two an' two together, right?"

"Ah have no idea whut you mean," Applejack said, looking pointedly away.

Apple Bloom planted her front hooves on the table and snorted steam. "Ah mean Mama an' Papa was already gone when all that happened, meanin' Ah wasn't born yet, meanin' they ain't mah mama an' papa." She pointed a hoof at Applejack. "Meanin' either Ah'm adopted, which Ah know Ah ain't, or mah real mama's you."

Applejack gulped. "Uhh...now that's...that's some mighty odd thinkin' there—"

"Which don't really surprise me," Apple Bloom cut her off. "Ah mean, it makes too much sense. Th' part Ah'm more bothered by is who mah daddy is." She glanced slowly at Big Macintosh, eyes narrowed.

"Ain't me," Big Mac grunted. "That's jes' sick thinkin'."

"So who is it?" Apple Bloom asked.

Applejack fanned herself with her hat. "W-well..."

* * * * *

"Thanks so much for helping me," Ditzy Doo said to Pinkie Pie as they sorted through stacks of birth certificates in the Town Hall archives. "I don't think I'd ever get all this sorted on my own!"

"Eh, I needed to update my files anyway. Lots of new ponies coming to town and a lot of new foals born lately," Pinkie said.

As Ditzy unstuck two birth certificates, she peered at one curiously, her lazy eye spinning. "Well this can't be right," she said.

"Hmm?" Pinkie took the certificate Ditzy was holding and looked at it. "Yeah, it's right," she said. She giggled. "Kinda funny, huh? Imagine if Diamond Tiara knew Apple Bloom was her half-sister..."

Author's Note

:trollestia:

Can't Get Away With Nuttin' (S7: "All Bottled Up")

"CINNAMON NUTS!" Bulk Biceps bellowed at passing ponies from his roaming nut cart. Bags full of sweet-smelling roasted cashews, almonds, and peanuts covered in cinnamon glaze wafted their aroma out into the warm spring air of Ponyville.

In a bright flash, a second cart appeared next to Bulk's. This cart boasted huge sacks of nuts—chocolate-covered hazelnuts, yogurt-covered pistachios, glazed macadamia nuts, and whole candied pecans. Next to this cart, wearing a striped shirt and a little paper hat, stood Discord, holding a megaphone. "D'S NUTS!" he boasted, catching the attention of passing groups of ponies. Then, with a sly grin aimed at Bulk Biceps, he added, "Mine are bigger. And chocolate."

Bulk glared at him, veins throbbing in his neck, and made an "I'm watching you" gesture with his hoof.

Discord yawned and snapped a talon. Bulk's muscles deflated like a popped balloon, leaving behind a scrawny, stunted pegasus stallion with a bad haircut. Bulk looked around with a nervous grin, covered himself with his hooves, and shuffled away.

With a smug smirk, Discord raised a giant, flashing sign over his cart. "Come on, everypony, step right up! You will absolutely love D's Nuts."

Author's Note

Oh like I wasn't going to do this. :moustache:

Flurry Eyes (S7: "A Flurry of Emotions")

Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, Sunburst, and Flash Sentry trotted slowly through the crystal corridors of the Crystal Castle, craning their necks around with interest and taking in the many chalk, crayon, and permanent marker doodles that covered every inch of the walls, floors, and ceiling.

"I had no idea nine-month-old foals could draw so...expressively," Sunburst said.

"How'd she do this without any of my guard wing noticing?" Flash wondered. "I mean, somepony should've reported this."

Flurry Heart had managed to decorate the Crystal Castle with quite the narrative. In foalish yet inexplicably detailed drawings, she had chronicled her recent trip to Ponyville, playing with toy bears with her aunt, then playing a very real game of tag with Twilight Sparkle all over the Castle of Friendship. She'd drawn Twilight as a scary bear, then as a kind, caring aunt. She'd drawn what looked like a mine cart racing through a sea of ponies and toys. She'd drawn flowers that looked like Cheerilee's Cutie Mark. Then she'd drawn a hot air balloon, something that was probably Pinkie Pie, and a couple of angry-faced blobs with stink lines coming off of them.

Presently, they were wandering through what looked to be the epic tale of a desperate quest to find a missing treasure, along with pictures of smaller ponies who were covered in spots.

"So how much of a tantrum do you think she'll throw if we try to clean this up?" Cadance asked.

"Let's wait until we take some pictures of it," Shining Armor said with a touch of pride. "Besides, maybe we could get some art critics in here, declare this place a Royal Gallery or something. It'd be good for tourism..."

At the end of the doodled history of Flurry Heart's visit to her Aunt Twilight, Flurry Heart lay curled up in her crib, her Whammy tucked under her blanket on one side and one of the stuffed bears her aunt had bought on the other.

Angel's List (S7: "Fluttershy Leans In")

Fluttershy sat in a booth in the corner of Hayburger. It was a slow hour of the day, perfect for having a private conversation, which was why she had invited her guest who sat across from her.

Double Truck was a wide, portly stallion with broad jowls and a wide head with a shaggy mane. One of his ears was badly mangled. He sat amid a pile of balled-up fast food wrappers; a hayburger lay open in front of him as he added extra ketchup and pepper to it. "So, what's this big idea you have for the Ponyville Gazette?" he asked.

"Well," Fluttershy said, "I recently had a terrible experience with some 'experts' who contracted to do a job for me, but ended up not remotely following any of my plans and doing whatever they wanted. They made a huge mess of it and I ended up having to hire somepony else to finish the job the way I wanted it done."

"Ah, yeah, I heard about that," Double Truck said. "The pet sanctuary. Funny, Hard Hat's usually a more reliable worker than that."

"Right, well," Fluttershy said, "it's not the first time I've had trouble with ponies I've hired. There's the gardener who overwaters everything, for example. And there are merchant ponies who aren't very nice to customers either, like a cherry seller who tried to scam me this one time, a long time ago."

"The cherry seller, yeah, I know him," Double Truck said sourly. "He's gone out of business now since Cherry Jubilee started exporting and has a sales partner here in Ponyville, but I used to see him changing his prices based on what he thought he could con out of ponies."

"I noticed," Fluttershy said. "Anyway...the experience I had with Hard Hat and those other two ponies that screwed everything up got me thinking, and...I'd like to maybe suggest a new feature for the Ponyville Gazette. Something that would maybe help ponies make informed decisions about ponies they might hire or buy things from? To let ponies know who's reliable and trustworthy and who's...not so much."

Double Truck rubbed his chin with a greasy hoof. "Hmm," he said. "I kinda like the idea, but my boss would never go for it. It'd paint a great big libel target on our backs, and nopony wants that." He frowned. "Now if you wanted to do it as a free circular, like those shopper savers they have at Barnyard Bargains? You could do that, but it'd have to be completely nonprofit. That'd deal with any pesky libel charges, especially if everything you print is true."

"Like true accounts of experiences real customers have had?"

"Exactly!"

"That's pretty much what I was going for anyway." Fluttershy's brow furrowed. "So I'd have to do the work myself, or...or get some ponies I trust to help, and it'd have to be paid for out of my own saddlebags?"

"Or as a group project," Double Truck said.

"Well, I'm certain some of my friends would be on board."

"And there are a few printing presses around town you can use for that kind of thing," Double Truck said. "I can give you some advice on how to get started, but that's as much involvement as I can have."

"You've already been a big help just listening to me," Fluttershy said with a smile. "Thank you, I really appreciate it."

"Happy to help," Double Truck said. "I look forward to seeing where you go with this."

It ended up taking six weeks to iron out all the particulars and arrange financial support, but with the help of her friends, Fluttershy succeeded in publishing Equestria's first customer review circular for goods and services. The idea caught on, spreading from Ponyville to Canterlot to Manehattan and beyond. Although no two towns' versions of the circular were written and operated by the same group of ponies, they all operated under the same name, creating a brand that was trusted from one end of Equestria to the other...

And it all started because one little pegasus got mad at some idiots who wouldn't listen to her.

Equestrian Pie (S7: "Secrets and Pies")

Another Wonderbolts practice ended in a bright, prismatic flash as the Wonderbolts tested out their newest stunt, which incorporated Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom.

In the locker room after practice, Soarin cautiously approached Rainbow. Other Wonderbolts noticed, nudged others, and turned to watch. There was a pool going among the senior Bolts that Soarin had a thing for Rainbow Dash, and a lot of bits were riding on whether or not he'd make a move.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash?" Soarin asked cautiously.

Dash looked up from toweling her mane, flipping her towel over her locker door. "Sup?"

Soarin bit his lip. "I, umm...I heard this rumor..." He coughed. "W-well, I just wanted to ask..."

Rainbow tilted her head. "You heard a rumor? What kind of rumor?"

"W-well..." Soarin grimaced. "It's...I heard you don't...like pie."

Around the room, hooves met foreheads, heads were shaken, and several Bolts promptly lost interest. Others listened curiously, having heard about the epic meltdown Pinkie Pie had over Rainbow's pie lies.

Rainbow winced. "Uhh...yeah," she said. "I, uhh...I don't like pie."

Soarin frowned. "Why?" he asked. "How could anypony not like pie? I mean...what's not to love about pie?"

"I just...I just don't, okay?" Rainbow said hotly. Without warning, she shot out of the locker room, leaving confused pegasi staring at her contrail.

Rainbow Dash flew an errant easterly course over the Equestrian countryside, occasionally passing through and bursting a stray puffy cloud, her mind lost in memories she wished she could forget.

There had been a time, when she was a filly in Cloudsdale, that she'd loved pie. She especially loved the six-filling Rainbow Surprise Pie Fluttershy's mom would make for her on her birthday every year. Sure, she got a birthday cake and presents from her parents (Celestia, did she ever), but Mrs. Shy's special just-for-her pie was a treat she only shared with one pony: Fluttershy, her best friend since flight school.

Until her eleventh birthday, when...

* * * * *

Rainbow Dash eagerly flew to the Shys' house, licking her lips in anticipation. It was her birthday, and that meant Rainbow Surprise Pie! She looked forward to sharing that juicy, fruity, delicious treat with Fluttershy before going home for cake and presents.

But as she neared the house, smelled the scrumptuous pie through the open kitchen window, she heard Zephyr Breeze, Fluttershy's obnoxious brother, grunting and muttering her name over and over again.

She peeked through the window. Saw Zephyr Breeze standing there.

With her special pie.

Her cheeks bulged with rising gorge. Her eyes swam with the tears of a young filly's shattered heart and crushed dreams.

She flew away at top speed, wailing and vomiting at the same time all the way home.

Ever since that day, she couldn't even stand to look at a pie.

Dance Magic, Car Wash Tragic (Equestria Girls: "Dance Magic")

"You know, I still don't get it," Rainbow Dash said as she tuned her guitar.

"Don't get what?" Sunset asked, frowning as she replaced a string on her own guitar.

"The car wash," Rainbow said. "I mean, we shoulda raked in a lot more with that than we did!"

"Yeah," Sunset agreed. "I mean, half the student body at CHS has cars, or their folks do. The teachers too. It should've been easy money."

"What should've?" a voice intruded. Flash Sentry peeked in. "Hey girls."

"Hey Flash," Sunset greeted. "What's up?"

"Was just checkin' to see if the practice room was open," Flash said. "Guess not, but...overheard that last bit."

"Oh, well," Sunset said as she tuned up and adjusted the knobs on her guitar, "we were just talking about the car wash. You know, for the Camp Everfree fundraiser. I mean, sure we raised the money thanks to the Chance to Prance contest, but..."

"Our car wash idea totally kicked butt!" Rainbow complained, playing a harsh chord. "What gives?"

"Oh," Flash said awkwardly, scratching his cheek. "Well. Umm."

Sunset gave him a look. "You know something," she said.

"Heh. Me? Know something? When did I ever know anything?" Flash hedged, chuckling nervously.

Rainbow narrowed her eyes. "Okay, dude. I never dated you and I barely ever talk to you and even I know you're hiding something. Out with it."

Flash quailed. "W-well," he stammered, "th-the thing is..." He coughed. "Umm...well...y-you see, word on social media was everybody was expecting, umm...something a little different, and then a couple guys drove by and saw what, umm...what you all were doing, a-and word got out, a-and...well..." He jammed his hands in his pockets. "Yeah."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Uhh...wanna try that again? Maybe with some details?" she suggested.

Flash averted his gaze. "I think, well...a lot of guys were expecting it to be, umm...kind of a...well—"

"SPIT IT OUT!" both girls yelled.

Flash jumped. "A bikini car wash!" he yelped. Then flinched.

Rainbow and Sunset blinked. They slowly turned to look at each other, eyes wide.

Rainbow facepalmed. "NOW he tells us," she groaned.

"We really should've thought of that," Sunset said, shaking her head.

Meddling Kids (Equestria Girls: "Movie Magic")

"Come on, Twilight. Say it."

"No!"

"Saaay iiiiiiit..."

Twilight sighed. "Jinkies," she mumbled.

"Say it like you mean it!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "JINKIES!"

"Perfect!" Pinkie Pie cried, throwing up her hands. She turned to Spike. "Now you!"

Spike glared at her. "No."

Pinkie smirked. "Would you do it for a Sco—"

"I haven't peed in at least an hour," Spike informed Pinkie with a half-lidded glare.

Pinkie froze, a broad, plastic smile on her face. "Oooookaaaaaaaaaaaaygonnagofinishallthatpuddingnowbye!"

Once she was gone, Twilight adjusted her glasses and frowned. "She...does know eating pudding that's been sitting out in the open for months is going to make her sick, right?"

"Well...if she doesn't know it now, I'm sure she'll find out later," Spike said smugly.

Marked Out [S6: "On Your Marks"]

Derpy sighed heavily as she trudged into Time Turner's lab, her tail low and her head bowed.

Time Turner looked up. "Goodness, whatever is the problem?"

Derpy's ears pinned back as she looked up sadly. "Well...it's just...the Cutie Mark Crusaders spent all day running all over Ponyville looking for ponies to help with Cutie Mark problems..."

Time Turner frowned. "Hmm. Oh dear. In this town? I can't imagine they found very many."

Derpy poked at the ground with a hoof. "They never asked me if I needed help," she whined.

"Good heavens," Time Turner said. "Did you particularly want them to ask?"

Wordlessly, Derpy turned her flank to Time Turner and presented the seven bubbles proudly displayed there. "I've never understood my Cutie Mark," she said. "I mean, I do odd jobs and deliver mail, and I like muffins. That's pretty much my whole life. I don't even know why I have bubbles for my Cutie Mark."

"Hmm..." Time Turner's brow furrowed. "That's...curious." He tilted his head. "Well, you could always go ask them to help, right?"

Derpy gasped. "Oh yeah! Thanks, Doc!" She smiled happily and flew back out the door.

* * * * *

Derpy was flying over Ponyville, searching for the Crusaders, when Pinkie Pie waved to her from Sugar Cube Corner. "Hey, Derpy! Wanna try my new recipe for iced strawberry banana muffins?"

Derpy gasped. "Wow! Do I ever!" Licking her lips, she angled down and crashed into the wall just left of Pinkie. "Whoopsie," she giggled sheepishly, trotting into the bakery behind Pinkie.

She promptly forgot all about the Crusaders and finding the meaning behind her Cutie Mark...

Settling In #1 (S1: "Friendship is Magic")

Twilight Sparkle folded up the last box and stacked it neatly on the pile of empty, folded cardboard boxes. "Well, that's the last of it," she said. "We're now officially moved in."

Spike frowned. "I dunno, Twilight," he said. "I feel like we forgot some important stuff from the tower back in Canterlot."

Twilight shook her head. "I didn't really have much there besides books and some equipment and, well...books," she said. "I mean, any decent library should have most of what I had there, and if I can't find it when I finish sorting the shelves, I can just ask Princess Celestia to send it from the archives."

Spike dug in his ear with a claw. "Yeah, like I said," he mused. "I mean, I like this place and all, it's nice and cozy? But I think you're forgetting something important."

"Like what?" Twilight asked, gesturing around with a hoof. "We're in a library, Spike. Books! Books everywhere!" She let out a happy sigh. "Ahh, books..."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, books. In an earth pony town. This isn't Canterlot, Twilight. I don't think the collection here is as complete as you'd like it to be. I mean, you had a lot of magic books back in Canterlot that wouldn't be very useful in a place like Ponyville, you know?"

Twilight waved him off with an amused scoff. "Please, Spike. You make it sound like Ponyville is nothing but muddy roads and low-class rubes! I'm pretty sure I saw a whole bunch of unicorns here, so surely they'll have..." She trailed off, then trotted over to the nearest shelf.

Spike watched her, an eyebrow raised, as she moved from shelf to shelf, scanning the spines of books. He smirked as her motions became more frantic, more animated, as she began levitating dozens of volumes off shelves, looking behind books, looking on top of shelves, looking under shelves.

After over forty minutes of this, Twilight flumped to the floor and let out a long, tired sigh. "Spike," she said in a defeated tone, "take a letter..."

Author's Note

There'll probably be a multitude of postscripts involving Twilight settling in...

A Word About A Bird [S1: "A Bird in the Hoof"]

As Princess Celestia was preparing to return to Canterlot with Philomena, Twilight Sparkle approached her. "Princess Celestia?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

Twilight tilted her head. "Just how long have you had a pet phoenix? Because this is the first time I've ever seen Philomena."

Celestia smiled. "Oh, I've had her for a while," she said. "Though to be honest, I frequently don't see her for years at a time. It isn't healthy for either the pet or the owner if a phoenix is kept cooped up like an ordinary bird. Philomena just came back to Canterlot two moons ago."

"How long was she gone?" Twilight asked.

"About twenty, maybe twenty-five years?" Celestia shrugged. "Her favorite hunting ground is past the Griffon Kingdom. She usually nests for a good ten or fifteen years whenever she goes there."

"Oh." Twilight fell silent. "So, umm...if you knew she was about to, err, burn, why did you bring her to tea? I mean, she looked awful."

"Well, it's so rare I get to show off Philomena," Celestia said. "I really wanted to show her to Fluttershy since I know she loves animals, and, well..." She looked sheepish. "After all your letters about her..." She shook her head. "Fluttershy has tamed manticores, a full-grown dragon, and even a cockatrice. I guess I just assumed she knew enough about magical creatures that she'd recognize a phoenix when she saw one. That...was my mistake." Her eyes twinkled. "I do occasionally make them."

Philomena let out a shrill, piercing cry. "Oh! I suppose we'd best be off," Celestia said. "I do, after all, have to prepare for the sunset. Goodbye, my faithful student."

"Goodbye, Princess," Twilight said. She looked to the phoenix. "And goodbye to you too, Philomena."

Dragon Disservice [S3: "Spike At Your Service"]

"I have to admit," Twilight said with a sigh, "I'm glad I didn't lose Spike forever over a life debt." She giggled softly. "I don't know how I'd ever get by without him!"

Applejack scratched her head. "Seriously?" she asked. "No offense, sugarcube, but...ever' blessed thing he tried t' do was a disaster. He couldn't even sweep right!"

Twilight blinked. "Really?"

"He made an epic fail of an apple pie, made a huge mess everywhere he went...why, he jes' made a total mess outta ever'thing he put a claw to!"

"Huh," Twilight said with a puzzled frown. "That's funny. He keeps the library spotless, does all the cooking—his blueberry pancakes are to die for, by the way—he baked those amazing cookies we had when we watched the meteor shower that one time, and he stays on top of all the household chores with the efficiency I've come to expect from years of faithful assistance!" She shook her head and smiled. "Not to mention he always seems to know what I need before I do."

Applejack's muzzle scrunched up in confusion. "Huh. So how in th' hay does that even...Ah mean..."

Twilight shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you," she said. She frowned and tilted her head. "Well...unless," she drawled thoughtfully.

"Unless?" Applejack prompted.

"Well, sometimes—sometimes—Spike gets a little overeager, usually when he's trying to make a really good impression or when he's done something wrong or feels guilty about something. Around here, when it's just me and Spike, he just does what he always does, but..." She smiled. "I guess since he thought he needed to impress you because he felt like he owed you, he got carried away. That's when he makes mistakes." Her smile turned somewhat sheepish. "Maybe if I'd been paying closer attention, none of this would ever have happened."

"Aw, shoot, sugarcube," Applejack said dismissively, waving a hoof. "You can't be on top of Spike all the time."

"True," Twilight said. With her ears folded back, she added, "Actually, sometimes he's the one who has to stay on top of me."

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you know what I mean," Twilight said defensively. "Like that whole thing with the tardy friendship report."

Applejack chuckled. "Ah know." She shook her head. "Well, Ah'm jes' glad this whole thing's behind us." Adjusting her hat, she added, "Now, if'n you'll excuse me, Ah gotta git on feedin' th' pigs." She sighed. "Seems t' take longer every time fer some reason..."

A Newbie's Lament [S6: "Newbie Dash"]

As Rainbow Dash worked to clean up the mess she'd made, Spitfire approached her. "So Crash," she said quietly, "just between us, nopony else around...what the hay got into you today? Really."

Rainbow looked at her and sighed. "It's..." She bowed her head. "Back when I was in flight school in Cloudsdale, there were some jerks who used to pick on me and make fun of me. And they always called me 'Rainbow Crash'." She looked up. "Hearing you guys—my heroes—calling me that..."

Spitfire's eyes widened in realization. "Oh, wow," she said.

Rainbow brushed one hoof with the other. "I got so upset at you guys calling me 'Crash' that...well...I kinda went crazy tryin' to get you to...y'know...drop it." She shook her head. "Maybe I shoulda just told you straight up what was buggin' me."

Spitfire sighed and shook her head. "Honestly? That probably would've made it worse." She chuckled. "Probably woulda changed it to Rainbow Trash."

"Yeah," Rainbow agreed. "That'd be way worse. Still..."

"I get where you're coming from now, newbie," Spitfire said. "I guess...it never occurs to us to think that new Wonderbolts might not be aware of all our traditions. Something we don't even think twice about could, y'know, maybe upset a new recruit." She shrugged. "I guess it's just bad luck that we'd pick the one nickname you had a bad history with."

"Yeah." Rainbow looked up resolutely. "But at least now I know it's just part of bein' a Wonderbolt, so it doesn't bother me anymore." She laughed softly. "Much. I'll just hafta get used to it."

"That's the spirit!" Spitfire chucked her lightly on the shoulder. "Well, I'm off. Later, Crash!"

"Later, Skidmark!" Rainbow replied cheerfully with a snicker.

Spitfire groaned. "Yeah yeah, get it out of your system," she grumbled good-naturedly before taking off.

Obligatory Deleted Musical Scene (S7: "Rock Solid Friendship")

In one of Ponyville's many parks, Starlight Glimmer and Maud Pie worked on designing new friendship kites. As they folded and glued and taped and measured and cut, Starlight started to sing.

"With some bits for paper and string,
You can make the flyingest thing!
With your hooves on the ground you're a bird in fliiiiiiight!
With your teeth holding tight to the string of your kite!"

As she sang, a dozen fillies and colts showed up, all carrying their own kites; some of them had their big brothers and sisters or parents with them. The newly arrived ponies all joined in Starlight's song as their kites flew up into the bright blue sky.

"Oh, oh, oh
Let's fly a pony kite!
Up to the Cloudsdale heights!
Let's fly a pony kite
Hey look, there's Soarin!

Up with the pegasi!
Up, with a happy sigh!
Oh, let's fly pony kites!"

"Does that happen a lot here?" Maud asked. "Ponies randomly breaking into song? Because I thought that was just a Pinkie Pie thing."

Starlight laughed. "Welcome to Ponyville, Maud."

Maud smiled faintly.

Pinkie popped up out of nowhere, flying a kite shaped like a stylized mouse head. "You know," she said conversationally, "that was a really contrived way to get around the whole, y'know..." She waved a hoof vaguely.

"Get around what?" Starlight asked.

"Nevermind!"

Author's Note

Admit it, you were ALL thinking it.

Mareway to Heaven (S7: "Once Upon a Zeppelin"

There's a stallion who spent all his glittering gold
And he's buying a mareway to Heaven
When he gets there he knows, that his Princess is close
With a word he can see what he came for
Ooh, ooh, and he's buying the mareway to Heaven
Yes he waited in line, cause he wants to be sure
He gets to see purple wings
In a tree by the mountain, that's where she was born
So the minotaur's saying

Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder

There's a feeling he gets when he look to the west
Where the sun sets, cause Twilight's her name
In his thoughts he sees visions of tall crystal trees
Where the mare of his dreams is now living

Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, really makes me wonder

And it's whispered that soon if we all pay the fee
Iron Will gives us access
To the princess and her family, right here on board
And the top deck will echo with laughter

If there's a bustle on the airship, don't be alarmed now
It's just a rush to see the princess
Yes, there are two mares you can ogle, but in the long run
There's still time to buy merchandise
And it makes me wonder
Her head is spinning and she won't go, in case you don't know
The minotaur's calling her to join him
Dear princess, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your family signed a dumb contract

And as we fly on through the skies
Through clouds taller than our souls
There walks a princess we all know
Who shines purple light and wants to show
How friendship is better than gold
And if you listen very hard
Her song will come to you at last
This two-for-one is a free-for-all
And the minotaur's outcast

Yes he's jumped off the mareway to Heaven...

Author's Note

You saw this coming and you know it...

Shampoo Blues...? (EG: "Monday Blues") (Guest writer DrakeyC)

Author's Note

(This entry written by DrakeyC.)

Shampoo Blues...? (EG: "Monday Blues") (Guest writer DrakeyC)

Applejack finished drying her hands with a towel and pulled open the door to the bathroom. “So, Sunset.”

The girl in question raised her head from where the group was clustered around the TV in her apartment. “Yes?”

“Um…” Applejack jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “That bottle on the shelf beside your mirror.”

“Oh, my shampoo? What about it?”

Applejack scrunched her face. “It said ‘Mane ‘n Tail'.”

Everyone stopped and looked at Sunset. Sitting at the back of the group from the TV, Sunset just nodded. “Yeah, that’s the brand I use.”

Rarity reached for the remote and paused the TV. Twilight coughed lightly to get Sunset’s attention. “Isn’t that a shampoo for horses?”

“Yeah, it is,” Applejack confirmed.

“So?” Sunset shrugged. “It works really well.”

“But…” Rarity shook her head. “It’s a horse shampoo. For horses.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Yes, we already established that.”

Suddenly Rainbow burst out laughing and fell on her back, kicking her feet. “That is so awesome! What, do you keep a salt lick in your fridge, too?”

“No!” Sunset snapped. “What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that you use horse shampoo!”

“And it works!” Sunset sniffed and tossed her hair. “Look at this! I don’t have any tangles, my hair can hold its curls great, and it shines like glass.” She held up her hair and let the strands stream from her fingers to demonstrate, the light glistening off of them. “I think you’re just jealous that your hair is a mess of split ends and knots.”

“Yeah, right.” Rainbow snorted.

“Where do you procure this shampoo?” Rarity asked.

“Order it online, cheaper than in-store.”

“Hm…” Rarity pulled out her phone and began tapping through it.

Applejack gaped “Rarity!”

“I’m sorry, darling, but the hair compelled me. Really, what do I have to lose?”

“Your dignity.”

“I’m with Sunset,” Pinkie chirped up. “Lots of people wash their hair with weird things, so what?”

Everyone turned to stare at her. Twilight sighed. “I know I’m going to regret asking…”

“Liquid sugar!” Pinkie said brightly.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “That explains so much.”

“Yup!”