Everypony else ’cancelled’ at the last minute and stayed over at Sheriff Hitch’s house, so that I could have some alone time with Anon at the Brighthouse’s observatory. That’s the second time they’ve cancelled, and hopefully the last; Anon looks bothered by it. Next time, I’ll ask him directly.
We’ve set up a good atmosphere for this. My friends helped me pick out jazz music for my time with Anon, and I was showing him my favorite stars and planets. We’ve also been working on trying to reproduce the taste of the best apple pie that he’s ever had. But he still thinks that something’s missing, and it’s only the second best apple pie he’s ever had. I’m not sure what it was, but we’ll find out one day!
I won’t chicken out on confessing to Anon a second time. Just say it. The worst thing that he can do is say no. I think.
My smartphone dinged. I looked down at it, and checked my inbox. It’s from Zipp. The subject line is just “Very Important.“ Is she telling me not to give up?
I opened the message and looked through it, surprised. Wow, A Time Alicorn! Nonny and I have been trying to figure out what happened to Twilight for ages! He should see this. I showed the message to Anon, and excitedly tell him, “Oooh, guess what, Nonny! Zipp found an old legend about a Time Alicorn called Eternia, who lives in the Endless Caverns. She doesn’t know if Eternia’s real, but we’re planning to explore them next month. Want to come with us? She might know what happened to Twilight!“
Anon took the smartphone, scroll down, then looked at the map on the phone. He frowned.
Why is he upset?
He looked at the phone, scrolled through the message to the map, then confidently said, “I think she’s real; I’ve heard about Eternia before. And maybe she can get me into contact with Twilight, and I can finally confess to her, and fix things.“
I silently winced. Wait, he was going to confess to Twilight? Did I hear that right? Why did he never bring that up?
I couldn’t help but frown, and my ears dropped. I glared at Anon, and questioned him. “Wait, confess?! This is the first time that you’ve brought this up. What were you going to say to Twilight?“
Anon rubbed the back of his neck, then looked away from me. “It’s embarrassing.“
Why won’t he tell me?
I frowned for a moment.
I’ll just pretend everything’s fine. But there’s no way that I can confess now!
I smiled, and went back to all the activities my friends and I had planned out for the night, as if nothing was wrong.
After all that, Anon left, and I cleaned up, then I fell asleep, alone.
I met up with my friends the next morning. Deputy Sprout was also there, because he was following Sheriff Hitch.
Zipp Storm floated next to me and asked, “So, how’d it go?“ She added, “And I’m sorry about messaging you during your ’date’. I got so excited by finding out about a Time Alicorn that I forgot about it.“
Checking my phone was so stupid. I should have just turned it off.
I slunk to the ground, and rested on my back hooves. “He said that he wanted to confess to Twilight! And he was too embarrassed to tell me anything else!“
Zipp asked, “Whoa, seriously?“ She flipped upside down. “Was he in love with Twilight for thousands of moons? He doesn’t seem like the type.“
Izzy smiled and said, “Maybe he isn’t in love with Twilight. Maybe he’s just planning to confess to something that he felt bad about?“
That’s very, very unlikely. But there’s still a chance that’s true. “Maybe?“
Hitch asked, “Isn’t Eternia just a foals bedtime story? Seriously, a time alicorn?“
I pointed out, “Well, Zipp found a lot of ancient legends, and you said that about Twilight, too.“
Hitch asked. “By the way, has anypony seen Anon? I haven’t seen my best deputy all morning.“
Everypony other than Hitch shook their heads, myself included. Could he have… No. Zipp’s message said that it was impossible to get to Eternia without a group of at least six creatures. Anon wouldn’t rush off like that without saying anything. He probably just overslept again.
Sprout yelled, “Hey!“
Hitch added, “Well, it’s true.“
Hitch is right. Nonny sometimes oversleeps, and he can act impulsively, but he has helped us save Equestria a few times, and he’s been pretty helpful. But everypony else is still warming up to him.
He’s a good deputy, too, though it is a pretty low bar. Unlike Hitch, Anon didn’t declare himself Emperor of Maretime Bay. And Anon ends wars rather than starting them.
I went back to selling smoothies, and I tried to stop worrying about things.
My phone’s messaging app played a familiar tone. I’d configured it to do that months ago, for messages from Anon. I ignored the customers in line, then quickly took out my phone and looked at my inbox. The preview had a selfie of himself confidently holding a grappling hook. Behind him, there was a huge golden alicorn with a silver hourglass for a cutie mark. That looks like just like the pictures that Zipp sent me. Is that really Eternia? And Nonny actually found her? Is this a prank? I don’t think it is; Nonny looks like he’s hurt.
I opened the message and read through it. He thinks I’m his only friend? It should be obvious that we’re all his friends! I frown. He’s leaving all of his Wonderbolts metals and memorabilia to Zipp Storm, and hopes that Zipp or Queen Haven re-establishes the Wonderbolts? And he’s leaving the rest of his things to me? What in the hay is he doing?
Frowning, I continue reading it. Oh. He says that he’s going back in time so that he can finally confess to Twilight?
I composed my response.
Nonny, just wait. I have something important that I need to tell you. Please wait for at least a few hours; I’ll be there soon. Hoof to heart!
A green dot in the app turned grey. Anon went offline.
I sent him my unfinished message, hoping that he gets it. I told the customers waiting in line, “We’re closing early today. It’s an emergency!“ Then, I composed another message to him and my friends.
I met up with my best friends, Izzy, Misty, Pipp, Zipp, and Hitch, at the Brighthouse, preparing to travel to the Endless Caverns to find Anon. My friends had all got together pretty quickly when they heard that Anon was missing. I’d packed up some things that I thought would help, such as Anon’s backup grappling hook. If he was showing it off, it must have helped him. Sprout was there too, following Hitch, and carrying a bulky satchel.
Unfortunately, Sheriff Hitch couldn’t come with us, because Sprout had started another war, and Hitch was staying in town to work things out. Thankfully, it was a calmer war than last time; Though there was a lot of disagreements, insults, and tensions, and nopony had actually started fighting.
Hitch ordered, “While I talk with the ambassador of the sea ponies, you go with Sunny, and keep her safe. I know that you don’t like the idea of Sunny trying to date Anon, but he’s still our friend.” He chuckled, and asked Sprout, “And please don’t start another war?”
The six of us boarded the Marestream, then set a course for the Endless Caverns.
After arriving at the Endless Caverns, we discovered writings on the walls saying that only the worthy could gain an audience with the Time Alicorn, Eternia. But I knew that my friends, Sprout, and I could do this.
We had faced some troubles getting through the Endless Caverns, but Anon was already gone. Izzy had carved out markings on the walls of the Endless Caverns with her horn, so that nopony got lost. In a few of the trials, our magic didn’t work, and we had to navigate a dangerous path. Like I thought, the grappling hook turned out to be pretty useful.
Zipp Storm stomped her hooves and yelled, “Pawn to F four!” Her ears flattened. “This is impossible! Why aren’t they doing what I tell them to do!”
We were in the middle of an enchanted chessboard, with our enormous marble chess pieces facing off against crystal chess pieces. While Zipp was pretty good at chess, our pieces had stopped responding to orders.
Izzy asked, “Well, maybe they’re just scared? I mean, they are going to be taken next turn?”
I remarked, “Well, if Anon did this, there has to be a way to win.”
Izzy said, “He doesn’t even like chess. He spends all his time on those real-time strategy games, such as War of…”
Sprout interrupted Izzy, and yelled, “A war! I’ve got it!” Then, to my surprise, Sprout took out his old emperor outfit and hat, then quickly put it on.
Then, Sprout stirred up the chess pieces into all acting at once in an angry mob. “Now is not the time to be complacent! You should do something!” Chess pieces shifted to face him, then he sang.
Something is lurking, something is near
Something is feeling stranger, stranger
Stirring up discord, whipping up fear
Whispering softly, “danger, danger!”
Those pawn-ies creep up slow and steady
Sides glistening, crystals all ready
Think what they could do to the status quo.
By the time that Sprout had finished his surprisingly well-rehearsed song about the ‘crystal pawn-ies’, he had convinced a few of our opponent pieces to defect to our side, including the queen. He had defeated our crystal opponents army by making every piece attack at once, as if this trial was a war, rather than a chess game.
The doors unlocked, and we prepared to go through the rest of the trials.
An enormous golden alicorn that had a silver hourglass for a cutie mark looked down at me, a few hours later. “I still can’t believe that another group found me in the Endless Caverns, then used another grappling hook to pass so many of my trials. The trials were meant for at least five ponies, and I’m glad that somecreature actually followed that advice today.“
I ignore my exhaustion, bruises, and sore muscles and joints, and tilt my head up at the Time Alicorn, Eternia. In her ethereal mane and tail, I saw glimpses of my past, including the time that Anon first visited Ponyville, and the time that Anon beat Hitch at a pie eating contest. And I saw possible futures, such as going on a picnic with Anon.
Well, Anon kept going on and on about how many times grappling hooks saved him when magic failed, and he left me his backup, along with everything else that he had.
I firmly insisted, “A deal’s a deal. Send me back to the alternate universe where Anon is, Eternia. I’ll bring him back.“
Eternia responded, “You won’t be able to use any of your magic without the Unity Crystals. And you know that earth pony magic didn’t even exist back then. You’ll only have your strength and your hooves to work with. The spell can only be used on one pony, and it only lasts for twenty-four hours.“
Anon took all his magic artifacts with him. But he’d told me almost everything that he did, the first time he arrived in Equestria. If he made it there, then so will I.
I stated, “That’s fine.“
She sternly said, “As I keep telling creatures, you might think that you’ll improve things, but in many possible futures, you could make things much, much worse. For hoofness sake, you’ll be sent to the Everfree Forest! There are many potential futures where you live a perfectly happy life without Anon in Maretime Bay.“
I glimpsed a potential future of Anon, myself, and others in a library in Eternia’s ethereal mane.
I stated, “I have to do this, Eternia. Please just send me back.“
No more chickening out. I’ll finally confess to Anon.
Eternia cast a spell, and I was surrounded by swirling lights. Everything turned dark.
I woke up in the middle of the Everfree forest, and it looked like it was noon. Anon mentioned that the path to the Everfree forest was made of solid dirt, and was surrounded by trees that looked like giant spooky faces. It’s probably only been a few hours since he got here.
Around me, there were familiar shoeprints, as well as small, muddy hoofprints, and the scattered remains of timberwolves and clumps of medium length, black pony hair. Thank hoofness that somepony did that. I was not looking forward to fighting timberwolves or fleeing from them. Timberwolves know what earth ponies are; If I bluffed and said that I was a ’Fire Pony’ or a ’Dragonborn’ like Anon did, that probably wouldn’t work. It looks like he’s running at a steady pace.
I galloped, and followed Anon’s shoeprints along the path and through the mud. I saw that the shoeprints briefly turned to meet the pawprints and clawprints of something large and quadrupedal, then they had parted ways, and it looks like he continued running. Hopefully, Nonny’s fine. He mentioned that Fluttershy told him about how the Manticore he met in the forest was only acting like that because of a splinter.
Galloping, I continued to follow Anon’s trail.
After entering Ponyville, I ignored everypony else and continued galloping. There was a pink pony with a curly mane that acted surprised to see me, raced behind me, chattered excitedly about something, then sped off, leaving me in the dust. Huh. Was that Pinkie Pie?
I ran past ponies, to the entrance of the giant tree library at the center of Ponyville. Then, I opened the door, and caught my breath.
I saw Anon standing, Twilight sitting down at a desk and sulking, as well as a much smaller and bipedal Spike. There was also an annoyed, disheveled green filly with a black mane, who looked like they narrowly beat an entire pack of timberwolves. I prepared to meet Twilight Sparkle, and confess to Anon.
Another pony opened the door slowly. It’s my best friend from Maretime Bay, and my crush on her made this awkward. Her hooves were covered in mud, she was sweating, and she was catching her breath. I didn’t expect her to follow me to the past. Did something bad happen?
She said, “Hi! I’m Sunny Starscout! I’ve been looking forward to meeting you so much, Twilight!“ She rubbed the back of her neck with a muddy hoof, and makes a strange face. “Well, not like this, but still.“
Twilight continued sulking, and quietly stated, “Not again! And why isn’t anypony cleaning their hooves before entering the library!“
Including Doctor Hooves, that makes at least four time travelers showing up today, I think.
Sunny takes a cloth out of her satchel, cleaned off her hooves, then glared at me, and sternly stated, “We need to talk, Anon.“
This can’t be good news.
Looking at Twilight, Sunny stated, “But first, I have something very important to ask Twilight. It’s been bothering me for months.“
Twilight glared at Sunny, then yelled. “Just ask already!“
Sunny begged, “Can I have the recipe for that apple pie? And maybe just a piece of it? Please! It would mean so much to Anon! He said he loves apple pie almost as much as that Wonderbolt, Soarin!“
“Seriously? That’s not what I thought you came here for.“ Twilight asked, paused, then mentioned. “Well, you can have a piece, but you’d have to ask Spike for the recipe. He's the one who made it.“
Twilight prepared another small slice of pie for Sunny. No matter what’s about to happen, I’m glad that we could enjoy this pie together. Sunny took the plate, used her fork to take a piece, ate it, then smiled.
Spike puffed out his chest, and inhaled.
The green filly frowned, and said. “He isn’t.“
Twilight responded with certainty, “He is.“
Spike enthusiastically sung a heartsong about the recipe, while he prepared another pie to demonstrate.
Preheat to four hundred forty degrees Fahrenheit,
for the best pies you’ll ever bite!
First you go peel six apples,
Then core them in quadruples,
Baking this pies is such a cinch,
Make apple slices a quarter of an inch.
Grab three stalks of rhubarb and dice them all.
Add these two fruits to a nice large bowl.
Take a cup of something sweet not sour, add it to a mix.
Add two teaspoons of ground cinnamon, not the sticks!
Sprinkle over the fruit, and toss until coated.
Spoon into the pie shell, then top with pie lid!
Oh, so that’s what that taste was. I didn’t realize that rhubarb and apples could be that good.
It's been so long that I forgot. Did everypony sing heartsongs when they taught recipes, or was it just Spike and Pinkie Pie?
Spike finished preparing the pie, put it in an oven, then finished the song.
Put it in the oven and count to forty,
Then take it out for friends and family!
Great pies! So sweet and tasty.
Great pies! Don’t be too hasty.
Great pies! Great pies, great pies, great pies!
I saw Sunny tapping on her phone. She’s probably just writing down the recipe. I should have asked about the recipe ages ago, now that I think about it.
Surprised, I stated. “I always thought that those were just a weird type of apple.“ I looked the greenish chunks in my pie, then asked Spike. “Why were you calling it apple pie instead of apple rhubarb pie?“ I sliced another pie and chew it.
Spike pouted and complained, “It’s supposed to be a secret ingredient!“
Twilight looked at Spike and yelled, “Somepony here could be allergic to rhubarb, Spike!“
Spike looked down, and apologized. “Sorry, Twilight. I thought that it wouldn’t matter since I only expected it to be for us and our friends.“
Sunny put away her phone in her satchel, coughed, and frowned. She urgently said, “Anyway, we need to talk, Anon.“
I swallowed my pie. I thought that she forgot about that. What would she want to talk about? I’m still pretty bad at reading ponies’ body language and expressions, even after all my time here. But anything that happened after somepony said that phrase has never been good.
Sunny stated, “Look, whatever emergency you had to travel in time to fix, I trust that you know what you’re doing, and this is an alternate universe, so I won’t try to stop you.“ Sunny continued, “But I know that you were planning to confess to Twilight.“
I had to confess to Twilight, but this is just way too embarrassing. I stated, “I confessed already.“
Twilight and Spike added, “He did.“
Sunny’s eyes had watered up. She waited a few moments before she asked, “Well, what happened?“
Twilight said, “Well, he didn’t eat all the pie in this timeline.“ Twilight looks at the table at a mostly whole pie, then back at Sunny, and says, confused. “So I don’t know why you’re overreacting.“
Sunny asked, “Wait. You ate all her pie, and you were confessing to doing that?“
In the original timeline, I was too afraid to ask Twilight if she already knew it was me or if she would forgive me, but at least we were on speaking terms. I answered, “Yes.“
Sunny stated, “Thank hoofness.“ She rubbed her right forehoof against the back of her neck. “Anyway, I have a confession of my own. I can’t keep hiding this. Hoof to heart.“ She brought it up in front of her chest, and looked at me with widening eyes.
Oh, no. Did something happen to the Unity Crystals or everypony again? Or did something happen when she went through Eternia’s trials?
After a few moments, Sunny Starscout blurted out, “Our friends just cancelled so that I could spend some time alone with you! I love you, Anon!“
That explains a lot. I was sure that I misunderstood her, like I’d done so many times before.
I hugged her, then confessed, “I love you too.“
Spike begged, “Can you please take this outside?“
I let go of Sunny and looked at her. I’m not listening to a dragon who couldn’t keep his crush on Rarity a secret from anypony.
Nopony acknowledged Spike’s question.
Sunny asked, “But why did you never even hint about it, or flirt back?“
I answered, “I’m terrible at picking up on pony’s signals and body language. It’s always been me misunderstanding ponies being friendly, every single time. So I gave up after just a few years. Mares are almost always the ponies that ask males out in Equestria, anyways.“
Sunny continued, “Oh, come on. You couldn’t be that bad at picking up signals.“
I continued, “One time, a unicorn mare that I had a crush on invited me over, and said that she thought my hands were cool.’ So when I went there, she spent five hours insisting that I pose my hands and fingers in different ways, and drew hundreds of pictures of them! That ended that crush, and I had a hand cramp for days after that! Her roommate was apologetic and pretty good at baking sweets, which almost made up for that.“
Twilight interrupted, “Wait, were you talking about…“
I turned to Twilight and interrupted her. “And then there’s Twilight here! Years after I arrived in Equestria, she said that she couldn’t stop thinking of me, and she enthusiastically invited me to the library after hours. Then she poked and prodded at me for hours and took all sorts of records and measurements for her research paper on humans, as if I were a lab mouse! I would have left, but she was adorable enough that it felt too awkward to leave. I’ll never do that again! Not without a buck-ton of bits!“
Twilight frowned, and asked, “How many bits are you talking about, Anon?“
I sternly told Twilight, “A third of your winnings of the two Know Bell Prizes. Up front.“
Seriously, I sucked at negotiating last time, and ended up with practically no reward for my assistance. She couldn’t have written those papers without me.
Twilight’s eyes widened, and her ears perked up. She got close to me, and asked, “Wait, I’ll win two Know Bell Prizes in the future? But I don’t have that many bits!“
I told Princess Celestia's student, “You can figure it out.“ Then, I turned to Sunny and vented, “And the list of misunderstandings just goes on and on. I forget how she did it, but Pinkie Pie convinced me to help her cater for Prince Rutherford’s wedding. And apparently, it’s traditional for yaks to smash everything at weddings, even things that are perfect! And Princess Luna once teleported me and herself to the moon out of nowhere when I visited her in Canterlot. Sure, the view of Equis was amazing once I calmed down, but I was freaking out because the magic bubble we were in was just so cramped and flimsy looking.“ I concluded, “All of this is why I stopped acting on ambiguous signals. I just gave up.“
“That explains a lot.“ Sunny said. “But will you come back with me to Maretime Bay? Eternia’s spell will only last for twenty-two more hours.“
Relieved, I smiled.
Twilight eyes opened up wide and her ears perked up. She approached Sunny and asked, “Wait! I have so many questions! I thought that Eternia was just an old foals tale. She’s real?“
The green filly, Sunny, and I nodded.
I looked at the green filly. Huh. Know that I think about it, I recognize her. Decades from now, she helped me save Equestria a few times.
The filly looked back at me and sighed, then enthusiastically said, “Just go already! Twilight and I and everypony else can handle whatever happens without your help. Believe in us!”
Twilight looked at the filly, squinted, and blurted out, “What?”
I asked Sunny to make sure I understood correctly, “I can actually go back? I’m not permanently stuck in the past?“
Sunny smiled, and asked. “Yes. Will you? Please, Nonny!“
I thought about what to do for a few moments, while finishing off my apple rhubarb pie. Like that filly said, they probably don’t need me. Twilight and her friends will probably handle everything without my help, now that she knows what Opaline will do. And I’ve already told her everything else that was important. These ponies are in capable hooves.
I don’t need to be in Ponyville. I have friends in Maretime Bay, and a new special somepony. Grinning, I asked Sunny, “I’ll go with you, Sunny. Just tell me what I have to do.”
Sunny held out her right forehoof, and she looked at me warmly, smiling back at me. “Just take my hoof and think about returning to Maretime bay, Nonny. Eternia’s spell should take care of everything else.“
Twilight’s obsession with research and fame might stop me from returning with Sunny in time. And even if Twilight actually raised enough bits in twenty-two hours, the spell probably wouldn’t even let us take anything back with us. If we ever meet the Twilight from my original timeline, I’ll confess to stealing the pie again, and apologize. Maybe we can bake her a replacement.
Twilight yelled, “Wait, Anon! I want to ask you…“
I held Sunny’s forehoof with both of my hands, and we vanished in a vortex of colorful lights, returning to the Endless Caverns.
Author's Note
The song was based on the show's Cupcakes song and a pie recipe simple enough to fit into a song.
Pie Recipe
Cutting apples
References Emperor Sprout's declaration of war and song in the movie.
I also wrote a sillier comedy that wasn't a romance about failed confessions, from a limited perspective.
TAnon Time Travels To Tell Twilight Something Important
Anon travels back in time to help stop whatever disaster caused Twilight to seal away everypony's magic. And to finally confess to Twilight.
owlicious ·
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Comments on the story are welcome.
