Ponies are squishy: Biohazard

by Erised the ink-moth

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 5999

Ponies might be pretty tough, but they still get sick. Take it from any doctor in Equestria, you need more than friendship to cure the common cold. Or do you?

Catching a cold is nothing new to ponies. It's been a fact since as far back as anyone, even the Princesses can remember, that ponies get sick from time to time.

Thankfully, medical technology and research have made leaps and bounds. Gone are the days when leeches and garlic were used to treat symptoms. Now ponies have state of the art science and medicinal magic at their disposal.

And yet... the secrets of one esoteric, age old treatment continue to evade even the most practiced medical professionals:

How does a "Get well soon" card help a patient more than prescription-grade anti-depressants?! HOW?!

Published 2016-05-28 15:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-28 15:00:02 UTC

Take one Placebo twice a day

It's been a little known fact that through the ages, Equestrian medical technology had always been abysmally behind in nearly every regard.
It may come as a shock, but such ideas like the sterilization of medical tools, anesthetics to dull pain, preventative medicine such as vaccines, and even the very concept of germs were once thought of as radical nonsense. Less than two centuries ago, hospitals didn't even exist. Instead, small and independent practitioners would be called on to visit one's home and attempt to cure them of whatever ailed them. This was of course unreliable, and in more common cases, the sick would seek out unicorn priests to heal them using magic.
Magic has of course been incorporated into the doctor's arsenal in recent decades, but in olden times it was seen as blasphemous for anyone not bearing Celestia's holy symbol to use magic to heal the sick.

All this might seem inconceivable in today's world. But in truth, it wasn't until the most recent century that any true and dedicated effort was put towards evolving medical practice. To thank for this are countless medical visionaries and scientists, fearless mares and stallions that placed the wellbeing of their fellow ponies over the scrutiny they faced, those who took it upon themselves to unlock the secrets of medicine.
Due to their hard work, Equestrian medical science skyrocketed into the future! Gone were such barbaric practices as drawing blood to cleanse the body, or using sugar to clean wounds. Gone was the fear of plague; as more was known about how disease was caused and how it spread, it became almost trivial to prevent.
Nowadays... the worst anypony has to fear is a simple, common cold.

Still, knowing how far we've come, a question arises: just how did ponies survive this long in the first place? Surely in our ignorance, all ponies should have perished before they had a chance to make these life-saving discoveries, correct?
But ponies are resilient in ways most wouldn't believe. There is magic in all things, and we must never forget that.

- Excerpt from "The Magic of Medicine" by Dr. Placebo M.D.

...*Beep*...

...*Beep*...

...*Beep*...

...*Beep*...

An earth pony stallion lay under the covers of his hospital bed, wrestling with a fitful sleep. His dark tan coat was matted with sweat, and every few moments his face contorted in discomfort.

Seruli sat beside him, disguised as a pegasus nurse. It was risky seeing as how she didn't know a thing about being an actual nurse, but the hospital wasn't accepting visitors, and finding a way to be by his side was the least she could do. The real doctors had finished checking up on him hours ago, monitoring his symptoms, scribbling on their clipboards, and refilling his dripline with some medicine she couldn't pronounce the name of.

Afterwards, just like every night for the past week, she had sat with him, talking softly and stroking his mane until he finally managed to fall asleep. She didn't have to worry about anyone popping in; they were too busy with the other patients. As far as anyone was concerned, she was completely alone with him.

In the silence broken only by the steady beeping of his heart monitor, she recalled how he got here in the first place. Though really, it was more like rewinding and replaying a tape for the hundredth time.

... Five days earlier ...

Once a barista for his family business in Manehattan, Coffee Cookie had always been an awkward and socially anxious stallion; the only time he felt truly at ease was behind a counter. Still, he was kind and thoughtful towards others, and an absolute wizard when it came to brewing hot drinks.

He had also been one of Shining Armor's guards in the Crystal Empire for a time. In an act that was either inspired or foolhardy, but very unlike him either way, he'd signed on to the guardforce and left his home behind in favor of the frozen north. He had thought protecting ponies as a guard would be a noble life to lead, or at least better than serving coffee, tea and hot cider all day long. He felt confident, ready for anything!

Then Queen Chrysalis besieged the city with her giant Doom Citadel.

Needless to say, Coffee Cookie did some rethinking of his career path after that.

...

Cookie walked out of the Canterlot Royal Guard's deployment bureau with a spring in his step. As of three minutes ago, he had formerly resigned from his duties, and could go back to being a simple pony serving drinks in Manehattan. He took a deep breath that filled his lungs and let it out feeling refreshed.

"Today is a new day." he thought. "Finally... no more patrolling, no more long hours of standing guard, and no more dealing with those Celestia-darned changelings."

He just had to tempt fate.

For you see... sometimes things aren't so cut and dry as filling out a form. Sometimes your past will come back to haunt you. And sometimes "come back to haunt you" means "stalk you all the way back home with the intent to viciously snuggle you", and "your past" means "that one changeling that thinks you're cute".

"Hey Twitchy!" a mare's voice called from behind him.

He froze. Only a select few ponies knew that mortifying nickname of his, and none of them were in Canterlot. Slowly he turned his head to face the brightly colored mare sitting on the bench outside the bureau.

"Hey. Long time, no see." she said, idly kicking her hooves.

She was an earth pony with a bright yellow coat, cobalt blue eyes and an even deeper blue mane. He had never seen this particular mare in his life. But then again... he was getting used to that. Oh boy was he getting used to that.

"Seruli, what are you doing here?" Cookie said, trying his hardest not to scream it. He felt any sense of calm drain away as he checked his surroundings for any guards or other ponies listening in.

"I came here to find you." Seruli hopped up and gave him a hug, "You didn't think I'd lose track of my favorite twitchy stallion, did you?"

"Oh no... oh, this is so risky." Cookie groaned, "Y-you're lucky I'm not a g-guard anymore, so I can't arrest you."

"Oh," Seruli feigned looking hurt, "Are you saying you'd arrest me just for wanting to be with you?"

"Wha- I... N-no." Cookie stammered, "B-but I'd have to. And you still might get in t-trouble if you stay here, because you're a... you're a changeling."

"And you're silly." Seruli booped him on the nose and started strolling past him. "Come on, I'll buy you lunch."

"I-... you-... but- Oh forget it, wait up."

He knew he couldn't argue with her.

He also couldn't argue with a free lunch.

...

The floors were covered in tiles, each made dingy from ponies trotting on them every day. Brightly colored plastic wrapped around every surface, and fake plants were placed here and there in a futile attempt to add some natural vibes to the place. Still, nothing was quite as prominent as the sounds of foals begging attention from indifferent parents, or the smell of burning grease that hung in the air.

"Really?" Seruli deadpanned. "I offer to buy you lunch anywhere you want, and you choose to eat here?"

"What's wrong with Burger Palace?" Cookie asked with a shrug.

"I dunno, I just thought you ponies preferred to have more food in your food. That's all."

"NEXT!" the pony behind the register called, and they stepped up to the front of the line. "Welcome to Burger Palace, may I take your order?" he said in a dreary tone.

"Y-yes, I'll have a large order of crispy crowns... an um... a double-Rainbow burger with extra sauce... and a grande Flutter-frappechino." Cookie put in his order. "Three sugars in that frapp." He added. "And don't go too heavy on the foam. And make sure the ratio of hazelnut cream to total liquid is-"

"Sorry man, dunno how you do it wherever you're from, but our machine don't work like that." the register pony cut him off. "We put the beans in the top part and press a button. That's it."

Coffee Cookie leveled a glare at him. He might be timid at any other time, but no pony defied his craft. "Challenge accepted." he said before hopping over the counter.

"Sir. Sir, you can't... you're not supposed to be back here." the cashier pony made a halfhearted attempt to stop him. "Eh, never mind. At least I don't have to do it now. And... what'll you have, miss?"

"Uhh..." Seruli had to stop herself from staring at her stallion as he worked his magic on their brewing machine. "What's the smallest size soda you have?"

...

"How is this thing a foal sized drink?" Seruli asked and smacked her hoof against the massive five-hundred and twelve ounce cup.

"Well, it is the size of a two-year-old foal." Cookie pointed out, though it certainly didn't help. "I'm just surprised you didn't get anything else. Aren't you hungry?"

As a response, Seruli opened her mouth, made an odd sucking noise, closed her mouth again, and finished by licking her lips. "Mmm, your love tastes like caramel mocha today."

"O-oh..." Coffee said awkwardly, "Well okay, that's great for you, but us ponies need actual food to survive."

"Yeah... actual food." Seruli snarked. "Tell me again, how many flavors of cheese did you have injected into that burger you're eating? I know you ponies are squishy, but you're gonna kill yourself eating this junk."

"Oh come on, you're just being dramatic." he dismissed before taking a big messy bite. "Ish nrt likk th'rr feddn'g urs poishun."

... Back in the present ...

...*Beep*...

...*Beep*...

...*Beep*...

...*Beep*...

"You're just being dramatic. It's not like they're feeding us poison." Seruli sarcastically mimicked his voice before letting out a sigh. "Sure they're not. And you're not in the critical treatment ward right now."

In his defense, Coffee couldn't possibly have known that every Burger Palace in Canterlot was unknowingly serving tainted food.

Seruli remembered being there in the thick of it. It happened so suddenly, like something from a horror movie. All of the sudden ponies started throwing up, clutching their bellies in pain as their bodies reacted spitefully to the spoiled food worming through their digestive tracts. All she could do was call for help along with the frightened Burger Palace employees, and wait for the ambulance to arrive and take them to the hospital.

Unfortunately, there were several layers to this cake of catastrophe. You see, things like this were rare, and it had been quite some time since the hospital had seen so much traffic. There simply wasn't enough staff to handle so many ponies, and soon the doctors were stretched to their limit.

They tried their best to help everyone they could, but many had to wait in line for treatment, and Coffee Cookie was one of them.

Seruli remembered having to sit back and watch as the doctors pumped his stomach, trying to get as much of the rotten food out as possible. All the while she cursed herself for following him into that joke of a restaurant. If she had known it would lead to this, she'd have slapped the food out of his hooves and dragged him somewhere else. But she couldn't go back in time. All she could do was stay with him and hope for the best.

Seruli gripped his hoof in hers, wishing the simple act would make everything better. "Hang in there Twitchy." she whispered to him.

A soft knock came at the door, and another stallion stepped in. He wore a doctors' coat, though it was clearly too big and baggy for him. Still, he gave a small wave and stepped over. "Hey Seruli."

"Thanks for coming." she said and pulled up another chair with her magic. Seruli didn't think changelings could survive without a queen to lead them. Imagine her surprise when she found a whole community of them, most of them former Chrysalis faction too.

"Meh, I got nothing else planned tonight. Wish someone told me sooner it was still this bad." In a muted flash, Dune's disguise flickered out, revealing his true changeling form. "So... how's he doing?"

Seruli's eyes drifted back to Coffee Cookie. If she listened closely she could hear him softly grunting in his sleep. "I'm still wondering why he's not better yet- why none of them are better yet. I've never seen anypony stay sick for so long. Even the doctors are saying they're not recovering at a normal rate."

Dune looked over the pony and let out a sigh. "I hate to say this, but this might be our fault."

Seruli looked up, confused. "You think some changelings did this? What kind of idiot changeling would poison ponies?" Less healthy ponies meant less for them to feed on after all.

"That's not what I mean." Dune told her, "You remember how ponies work, how they stop from getting sick in the first place?"

"Yeah, their bodies give off some kind of... natural magic field that works to purge harmful substances from their bodies, almost like a second immune system." Seruli tried to remember.

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but that's the basic idea. It doesn't stop them from getting sick entirely, but it does make them get better a lot faster than normal, which is why I'm convinced us changelings are the reason they're not." Dune said grimly, "Every changeling knows that excessive feeding makes ponies weak for a time, but I bet most don't realize how that applies to every aspect of a pony's body. With how many of us there are in Canterlot, it's no surprise these ponies aren't over this by now. If anything," Dune jabbed a hoof at the door, "these ponies are getting worse."

Seruli looked back over Coffee with a new sense of guilt. She'd been feeding on him almost constantly since they met up. "But they're not going to... die, are they?" she asked, but Dune didn't say one way or the other. "Tell me he's going to be okay!"

"Well... they won't improve without help." Dune said and motioned to the door while throwing on a new disguise. "Come on, a few of the guys and me are working a plan. We could use your help."

Seruli took one last look at Coffee Cookie before reluctantly leaving to follow.

While they walked through the hospital, they could hear moans from the other patients from nearly every door they passed. Several doctors trotted past them on their way down the hall, most looking tired and frazzled from working overtime on a lack of sleep; some were too focused on test results to even see where they were going, and ended up bumping into the pair of changelings.

"On the way in I heard some nurses talking about supplies running out." Dune mentioned. "Is that true?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't really been paying attention."

Dune picked up his pace, and after desending several flights of stairs, they arrived at what looked to be the laundry room. It was loud, and the air carried a strong smell of disinfectant soap. Deeper inside, behind a row of large washing machines were several changelings; one wore a white doctors' coat and another looked like a mail courier, but the rest were unclothed. They were all gathered around a table, writing letters while glancing at the pile of folders nearby.

"Hey everyone, how's the list coming?" Dune said, raising his voice over sound of the machines.

"Dune, you made it! Good." said the one in the lab coat, "We need all the help we can get if we're going to get this done by morning. Who's this?"

"This is Seruli, came into town with her pony when he caught the Burger Plague." Dune introduced them, "Seruli, this is Dr. Placebo, the only changeling who actually works here. This whole thing was her idea in the first place."

"Indeed. This whole thing is just a mess." Placebo said, adjusting her glasses. "I've been working to find a solution since this whole thing started, when ironically I knew it the whole time. I was so wrapped up in being a doctor that I forgot a certain aspect of pony physiology, one that those in my field reject as being 'too ludicrous to be fact'."

"Without getting too far into this, our feeding made them weak. Normally they'd recover with time, but they can't do that while something is ravaging their systems. So what we're going to do is give them a little boost." Dune summarized. "And step one starts right here. Placebo convinced her superiors that we should find the family or friends of everypony who's sick, and write to them about what's happened."

"It was no small task I assure you." Placebo added, "We've been on lockdown since this outbreak started. The higher-ups feel we've got enough to handle without crowding the hospital rooms with concerned relatives, and they certainly don't want to risk letting this thing spread to more ponies. But I persuaded them, saying the letters were to request emergency contacts in the event their loved one's situation worsened."

"But what she didn't say is what else we'd put in them." Dune picked up. "We're also going to give them a list of symptoms and a condition summary, letting them in on every gruesome detail, and maybe wording it to sound worse than it actually is. Then we'll add a little line of text at the end suggesting that if maybe... possibly... if they can find the time to pay a visit to their brother or sister or cousin before they die a slow painful death... well then-"

"Oh you stop that, Dune." Placebo scolded him, "You're making this sound so sneaky and vile. We're only trying to help."

"But we are exaggerating the truth and using clear deception to get our way." Dune pointed out. "I forgot how much fun being a changeling is."

Placebo facehoofed. "Just grab a pen and start writing."

The next day, Seruli and Dune walked over to the hospital to see if their work paid off at all.

It had been a busy night for every changeling lending their support. Once the letters were done, the courier changeling brought them back to the post office for delivery, only she "accidentally" dropped them in the express box for immediate delivery.

The effect was pretty clear the second the hospital was in view. Since early that morning, ponies from all over had been arriving at the train station and making a beeline for the hospital.

Normally the hospital clerk and two security guards would turn ponies away if they asked to visit a patient, due to the lockdown. But Dr. Placebo was able to pull them aside one by one and offer them the day off, and with how they'd been working double shifts lately, they took the time off without question. Once that was done, she replaced them with changelings who had a much more positive attitude towards visitors.

When Seruli and Dune made it inside, there was even a line of ponies at the front desk asking for directions to rooms. What they found even more shocking than the sheer number of families and groups gathered there, was how many of them were bringing get-well gifts; everything from cards, to balloons and flowers, and even a few stuffed animals.

"Make way!" somepony shouted behind them, and they were just in time to sidestep two mail-ponies hefting a giant sack. "Get-well delivery comin' though! Were do we put this?"

"Just set it outside the mail room with the others, we'll get it sorted and delivered as soon as we're able." Dr. Placebo told them before approaching Seruli and Dune. It was clear she was even more exhausted now than over the past week. "Well, I have to say I didn't expect such a turnout. It's a good thing this inane idea of mine is actually working, because there's no way in Tartarus we'd get any work done in these conditions."

"You mean... ponies are getting better? Just from this?" Seruli asked.

Placebo chuckled out a sigh of relief. "Indeed. I'll admit I was doubtful for a bit, but the second ponies started arriving to visit their loved ones, patient recovery rate skyrocketed almost on contact! Even those who only received letters or gifts because their families couldn't make the trip have been showing signs of recovery, and it's little wonder; those gifts are practically infused with love. I suspect by this time next week, we'll have everypony out of here with a clean bill of health."

"That's great but... how?" Seruli asked. Seeing ponies come all that way to support someone they cared about was heartwarming, it really was. But she couldn't understand how "hugs from mom and dad" translated to "miracle cure for deathly food poisoning".

Placebo merely chuckled again. "You know, I actually wrote an entire book on the subject, though I recieved quite a lot of mocking for it at the time. Perhaps that will change now... but I digress. To put it in decidedly non-scientific terms: love is a powerful thing. In ponies it manifests as a force that can protect from harm, and it only becomes stronger when shared with others. It comes from both sides you know. Even though it get stronger when ponies are together by linking their energies, just thinking of someone you love is enough to give one strength, and you can see the effect for yourself all around us today. It really is a fascinating subject that I'd love to talk more about someti-"

"Placebo!" a voice barked from the hallway leading to the mail room, "Are you gonna help us sort through these teddy bears or not?!"

Placebo let out a sigh. "Yes yes already, I'm coming! Hold you hooves! Apologies friends, a doctor's work is never done."

With that she quickly trotted off, leaving Seruli and Dune on their own.

"Shall we?" Dune asked, leading the way to Coffee's room.

Seruli lingered a second, watching the ponies still anxiously waiting in line at the front desk. "Love is a powerful thing."

They were nearing Coffee Cookie's room when Seruli couldn't hold back her questions any more. They'd passed by more than two dozen other rooms where ponies were cheerfully visited by friends, sandwiched between siblings and parents, or sitting back contently as they read through their get-well cards. From that little bit of contact showing that they were loved and cared for, each of them looked far better than they had in days. So obviously, Seruli was still a little confused.

"I just don't get it. I was with Coffee Cookie every second I could manage. How come he didn't recover from my love?"

Dune chuckled darkly. "What love?"

Seruli scrunched up her face at him. "Are you saying I don't love him?!"

Dune turned and pulled her off to the side where no one would hear. "No. I'm saying it doesn't matter if you do or not. We're changelings. We can receive love from others, but it's impossible for us to give it back in anything but hollow sentiment. I don't like it either, but it's our curse. The best we can do for anypony is make them believe that we care, and hope they find some comfort in our lies."

Seruli shoved Dune away, and then pushed him again for good measure. "You're so full of it! You think you know everything, but you're wrong!"

With a final glare, she stomped past him.

Dune turned and watched as she left, letting out a defeated sigh. "...I don't like it either."

When Seruli got to Coffee Cookie's room she immediately noticed that nothing had changed since she'd last been there, except maybe there was a different clipboard on the door. She knew his family had been sent a letter though, it was the first one she'd written. She walked in and pushed open the curtain to find Coffee in the same miserable state she'd last seen him in. Unlike the ponies she'd passed on the way to his room, he was practically a corpse, and she hated herself for making that comparison.

Still, when he heard someone coming, Coffee managed to open his eyes, and smiled weakly when he saw her. "H-hey."

Seruli knelt closer and put her hooves on his. "Hey, how're you doing?"

"This morning I asked the doctor if he could take my drip bag of whatever that clear stuff is, and swap it for a decent house blend. He didn't go for it." Coffee chuckled a bit before his stomach gave a loud grumble and a wave of pain washed over him.

Seruli did her best to smile, and nuzzled his cheek. "I love you. You know that right?"

Coffee smiled back and let his head sink into his pillow and sighed, "Yeah. I know."

...

"Oh my CELESTIA!"

Seruli spun around to see a light brown mare with a fiery orange and red mane standing in the doorway looking aghast. She barely had time to process the older mare's presence before she was shoved aside.

"M-mom?" Coffee stuttered in what was either surprise or dread.

"Oh my little baby boy, just look at you!" she said, hysterically fawning over Coffee like any mother would after seeing their child bedridden. "I told you not to join the guard, didn't I? I told you what would happen if you went that far north where it's all icy and cold. I should have made you stay home, but I didn't and now look at you, you poor thing!"

"Mom. Mom I'm fine." Coffee tried to tell her, suddenly feeling the strength to sit up.

"You are most certainly not fine, young man. I received a letter just this morning telling me all about your condition, and you would not believe that horrible things it said; severe tummyaches, constant vomiting, DEHYDRATION... the list got worse and worse the more I read! So, I did what any good mom would do, and made you a care package." she then brought up a basket she'd been carrying and plonked it right on the bed. "We've got a little of everything you love in here. There's some buttermilk scones, and a few of your dad's cherry tarts... Gran made some of her special soup and- Ooh, look at this."

While Coffee Cookie's mom started laying out a buffet of gifts, Seruli found herself taking a back seat. Despite his clear and obvious protests, none of which were even registered by his mom, Coffee looked more alive right now than any point in the past few days. It was just like every other pony she'd seen that day, the way they looked so alive and full of energy from having sompony that cared about them nearby.

But she didn't count. As much as Seruli hated to admit it, Dune was right. She was a changeling, and a changeling's love was too hollow, too void of substance. She could feel tears starting to well up, and sidled out of the room before anypony took notice.

Seruli had held her tears in with everything she had. She'd walked all the way out of the hospital and around the back of the building where no one could see before finally letting everything out. She sat against the cold cement wall, hugged her legs, buried her face in her hooves and sobbed.

It just wasn't fair. Seruli knew she was different, that was something she'd accepted. She was fine with hiding what she was, and fine with knowing she was a parasite in a land full of prey. But until right now, she hadn't realized that also meant being inferior in terms of love, that it meant she couldn't give back, even if she wanted to. And she really, really wanted to.

Knowing that any effort she made was essentially for naught, to know that any love she tried to give would never hold up against that of anyone else...

It took a while before she could stop herself from crying any more. With a long, shuddering breath, she finally managed to just sit there in silence.

"If it means anything, you're handling this a lot better than I did."

Seruli jumped, and turned her bleary eyes over to Dune. At some point during her breakdown he'd sat next to her, and she didn't even realize.

"Oh yeah. When I found out about this whole 'our love isn't the same as their love thing', I tried to kill myself." Dune said almost too casually. "Climbed the tallest thing I could find, walked to the edge and jumped right off that sucker."

Seruli wanted to be upset, angry, and devastated all at once, but curiosity won this time. "How did you survive?"

"I was still a grub, and the tallest thing I could find was the refrigerator."

Seruli stared at him. Seconds passed before a snicker broke the silence. "Seriously?! A refrigerator? What the buck?!" she laughed. Maybe it was everything that had just happened, but Seruli couldn't help picturing a little changeling grub just flopping onto the floor with a dry smack, and it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up." Dune groaned. "And if you tell anyone about it, I'll hunt you down and destroy you."

Once Seruli had gotten the last of her laughs out, she found it all too easy to sink back into depression. She felt a little better, but still.

"It's just not fair." she moaned. "I feel like I love him. Why shouldn't it count as much as anypony else?"

"Well, I'm going to tell you what my queen said to me before I could jump a fourth time."

"You jumped off the fridge three times?" Seruli said with a smirk.

"Yes I did, now shut your face so I can pass on some life lessons." Dune said and cleared his throat. "She told me that ponies are unique in how they react to love. For most other races its a pleasant feeling and nothing more, to changelings love is a palpable force capable of sustaining us. But to ponies it's not just a feeling; to them, it's a connection and a promise, a bond between individuals that links their very souls, and draws them together into a larger whole.

"They even reach out to us, it's how we're able to feed. But under our masks, we're not ponies, and so we can't reach back. All we can do on that level is eat whatever they send our way."

Seruli blinked. "Is this supposed to be making me feel better, or..."

"I was getting to that, geez. Give some room for buildup." Dune huffed. "But my Queen told me there are other ways changelings can show that they care, even if we can't link with ponies like they try to with us. Take today for example. Maybe you weren't the one who made Twitchy better, but you are the reason his mom and little sister came to see him."

"He has a little sister?"

"Hmm- oh yeah, you must have missed her. She was waiting in the hallway when you left. That's not important though. What's important is that you brought them here because Twitchy needed them." Dune told her. "You remember how much work it was. There are plenty more ponies in Equestria that you could have ditched him for and saved yourself the trouble. But you chose to help him. So tell me, would you have done that if you didn't care about him?"

Seruli thought about it, and realized that, no... she probably would't have. But he was worth the effort, because she did care about him. She did love him, but she had to show it in a different way. "Thank you Dune. That... that really helped. I had no idea Chrysalis had that kind of wisdom."

Dune snorted. "I never said it was Chrysalis who told me."

... Later that day ...

The recovery of everypony at Canterlot Hospital happened so quickly that calling it miraculous wouldn't do it justice. At first the doctors were tolerant, if begrudging of the situation, seeing as how it sprung out of nowhere and all they could do was roll with it. Imagine their surprise, and Placebo's smugness, when they ran their checkups for the umpteenth time, and found that nearly every one of their patients was perfectly healthy.

Seruli even managed to gather the courage to go back to Coffee, and meet his family, or at least the first two of many. His mother Macchiato, or just Ma to her friends, started smothering her in apologies the second she came back, saying she had no idea who she was, and that Cookie had been asking where she went. Seruli was sure she was going to like this mare.

Then there was Coffee's little sister Toffee Drizzle who, in almost direct contrast to their mom was very laid back. It took effort to even get her to even look up from her teen magazine to say "Hi". This only made it more jarring with how much she resembled her brother; if you took Coffee, scaled him down, swapped his color palate and flipped his gender, that was his little sister.

Still, they were glad to make each other's acquaintance, and there were sure to be a lot of stories to be shared between them all. So they decided the best place to talk and get to know each other, and to celebrate Cookie getting out of the hospital was over dinner.

"Okay no." Seruli said flatly. "No. No. No. No. So much no!"

"What?" Coffee said innocently.

"You just got out of the hospital. We are not going back to Burger 'Plague' Palace." Seruli told him firmly. "Can I get a show of hooves? Who wants to eat somewhere else?"

Three hooves shot up immediately.

"Ooh sorry dear," Ma said sheepishly, "but I gotta agree with your marefriend on this one. She's got a good head on her shoulders."

"Same." Toffee agreed.

"But... but..." Coffee stammered, giving fleeting glances back to the fast food joint.

Seruli hooked a hoof around his neck and dragged him off. "Butts are used for sitting. Now come on, I know a place that's just down the street."

Marble columns, carpeted floors, a violin choir playing in the background, and real potted plants... Seruli breathed easy as she and her group were shown to their seats.

"Hmm, fancy." Ma said as she admired to woodwork of the tables. "I'd like to get a few of these for my shop in Manehattan."

Pretty soon a waiter stallion with slicked back hair and a heavy Prench accent arrived at their table and passed out some menus. "Greetings, and welcome to Chateau le Fromage. May I get you all started with somesing to drink?"

"What size soda's do you have?" Toffee was the first to speak up.

"Toffee!" Ma scolded before quickly turning to the waiter. "I'm so sorry sir, it's not every day we eat at a fancy restaurant."

"No offence taken madam. In fact, we have recently made several such additions to our menu, in attempt to cater to... how you say 'zee younger crowd'." the waiter told them. "Zee smallest size currently available is zee five-hundred and twelve ounce 'foal size'."

Seruli felt her chin hit the table.

"Do you have burgers here?" Coffee asked.

"Indeed. And prey tell, what variety of cheese would you like injected into that?"