My Heart

by Translated

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Tragedy
Length: 2079

It is the moment when heart stops.

The sun begins to live and everything is well, and no one will believe you are in living hell.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-23 17:19:02 UTC

My Heart

I picked up my cloak and sat on the cold iron bench that stood in hospital hallway, and waited. There was no one in hall, so I could hear doctor talking with his patient in nearest ward.

Ointments, use only the oitments. Your coat is too gentle.

But I've already bought a bottle..!

Something clanked at the other hall's end, and I didn't hear, what exactly a filly bought.

White tile brang me boredom and cold. I didn't feel draft here, but I was still shivering a bit because of cold, which gave white tiles of hospital. Light bulbs on the ceiling shone bright daylight. This light suddenly reminded me my last December, and I began getting even colder. I rubbed my neck, and looked to the right, and suddenly found myself thinking that I don't remember where nurse left. Hallway stretched endlessly to the right and to the left, and wards doors seemed so similar.

Filly came from the nearest ward. She was still young, but approaching to the age, when words "your coat is too gentle" can turned out of caution into a compliment. She straightened her thin blue blouse and turned left. Passing by she looked at me and smiled, but I was thinking about something and didn't smile in response. She passed two white doors, then turned and walked into the white door on the left side. I thought, I should remember exit is on the left side, not on the right one.

Away in hall's end could be seen a large window. I saw something green outside it. Wood, maple maybe. The whole hospital was surrounded by maples. They shouldn't plant them here, I thought. Someday they will dry up and fall on windows and those will brake to pieces. They'll have to pay pegasus to saw trees in the air and dip pieces on the ground.

I remembered what season it was. Summer, beginning of July. I've already forgot it was summer, while sitting here in that cold.

Sneezing, I've put hoof in cloak pocket to get a handkerchief, but suddenly I've turned up with some envelope. I pulled it out, while putting another hoof into another pocket, and realized what it was. I wanted to put envelope back, but thought about something again, and left it next on the bench. Taking out a handkerchief, I wiped a nose, while looking at the envelope. Term ended a week ago, but I've promised to Far I'd give him more time for the layout. Printing began the day before yesterday's evening, and Far gave me an envelope two days ago. If I hadn't forgotten, he would been published, but now it's too late. I didn't even read his story.

Putting the handkerchief back, I took an envelope and looked at the little stamp in its upper left corner. It was a foal holding a blue ball in his hooves. His face was joyful, though his smile wasn't too wide. Looking closely, I realized that this was not a ball but whole our planet.

Door slammed in hallway, and I put envelope back into pocket. A nurse walked up to me, striding and peering into the notebook, which she was carrying in front of her with a magic. When she came to me, I caught myself thinking that I don't remember from which door she came out.

What is your name? - she asked, picking up yellow pencil with her magic.

Does it matter?

It's rool.

I called her my name. She wrote it in a notebook.

Are you his father?

I'm his friend.

This means nothing.

It means lot for me, - I said.

She looked at me. Her face was narrow and white.

Can you tell what's your relation to him?

I'm his colleague. We're working in the editorial office three blocks away from here. I've already told you over the phone.

She wrote my words in a notebook.

May I ask what happened to him? - I finally said.

He got broken hoof, damaged throat. The rest is minor injuries.

She looked back at me.

He was in shock when he's been brought here. We gave him a sedative. Did you know your friend is epileptic?

No, I didn't know, - I said.

She wrote something again.

Can I see him? - I saked.

Yes, - nurse said, then put notebook into her breast pocket and went forward.

We've been walking down the hallway for a minute. It was straight like an arrow. In end we walked in the door on the right side. There was a staircase. Stairs were lined with brown tiles. We climbed up to the second floor, went into the corridor and stopped at the ward's door, which was just like all other ward's doors here.

He's resting now, so make it quick, - nurse said and entered the ward. I went after her.

The ward was stuffy. Nurse opened a window - I could see a river behind it - then took empty bottles standing in a small locker and left. Far was lying on the left side near the door in wooden bed, covered with a thin summer blanket. His hoof was tied with a white bandage. There was no one else in ward.

His eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn't asleep.

Far, - I took him by a shoulder.

He opened his eyes and smiled. His eyes looked frightened.

How are you? - I asked.

Better, much better.

Warm summer air filled a room. I heard rustling of the trees outside the window.

You're well settled, - I said and realized, how incongruously it was. But Far just smiled again.

There are maple outside. You don't like them.

Why? Nice trees.

You don't like them. You always getting angry when you see maples.

Someone walked in corridor. I turned around and looked at the door. It was tightly closed.

What happened buddy? - I asked, looking at him again.

He said nothing. His lips were drawn, as if they were still stretching into a smile, but their corners fall down, and his expression became somehow comical.

Could you please close a window? - he said.

Aren't you stuffy?

I'm cold.

I went to the window. In the middle of the river I saw a small ship. There were a lot of ponies on deck. They were running back and forward, as if dancing. I could even hear music. Then I picked hoof up and closed a window.

Far, are you an epiliptic? - I looked at him.

He raised his head.

What?

Are you an epileptic?

Why did you come to this?

Nurse said so.

And why did she come to this?

She said you was in shock when they brought you here.

Rubbish, - he put his head back on the pillow. - Or... I don't know, I don't remember what happened, when they brought me here.

They gave you a sedative.

Indeed? - he asked.

Yes.

He sniffed and shook his head on a pillow.

I don't remember, I don't remember anything.

I walked over his bed.

Do you remember what happened?

Far looked at me. His face was very haggard.

I do.

He moved up in bed and looked out the window.

I wanted to go to office when bus had gone and I left standing at the bus stop. I just... I just wanted to ask you about my story, whether it was in print. I'd learned it all on Wednesday, but I just couldn't wait, I wanted to ak you. And Kars... my neighbors, they were leaving for camping for a week. They had a vacation, they work in a theater. - He spoke qiuckly, often straying. - They offered me a ride 'cause we were going the same way. And I got to them, and we went. We went up to the main highway. They had to take a turn, and I asked them to drop me off, but Mr. Kars said it's dangerous on a highway, and it'd be better to make an extra ride and take me directly to the city. They were always nice to me, - he paused for a second. His breathing was heavy. - Then this stallion in front of us turned on blinker too late, and Mr. Kars managed to avoid him, but lost control, and went off the road, and car then rolled over, and then again stood at wheels, and something hit me in throat.

Far paused. Corridor was quiet.

What happened to them? - I asked.

Mrs. Kar died. She broke her neck.

I'm sorry.

I'm too.

Did they found that stallion who hadn't turned blinker in time?

Don't know. I don't remember anything that happened afterwards. - Then he looked at me. - I think I won't come on Wednesday.

Of course, - I replied. - Just have a rest. The main thing is that you still alive.

You think it's main thing?

Sure. And you think not?

He closed his eyes. Ward became stuffy. I got up to open window again, but Far took me by the hoof.

There was their daughter with them. Young, about six years, maybe less. She was sitting in the back seat next to me. I've not even thought about her.

I said nothing.

When we fell, I remember I woke up for a couple of seconds. I remember my throat was like burning and felt something flowing through it. Mr. Kars was still holding rudder and was all hunched, and Mrs. Kars turned her head to the window, but I knew she's dead because her hooves were splayed oddly. And I realized I hear scream. I couldn't turn my head, but I saw their daughter pulling her hooves to Mrs. Kars head and shouting something. She was fastened with seat belt and could not reach her mom's head, and she was crying and screaming, and I realized she yells some words. And I listened to, and heard: "Mommy, mommy, save me, mommy, my love, my heart, my heart", and realized it was her. At first I thought it was someone outside. I couldn't even think it was her 'cause foals just chirping or just calling their mothers, but she screamed very different words back then.

He breathed heavily. I was silent.

You see, none of foals do not shout theese words when they are frightened.

Far looked at me.

None of them, - he said and released my hoof.

The ward became very stuffy. I groped cloak's clasps and undid them. Steps were heard in corridor. As they've been approaching, I did not stop looking at Far and he did not stop looking at me. The door opened and nurse came in.

Your time is out, - she said. - Let your friend have a rest.

I stood up quickly, and room went all blue in front of my eyes. Far looked at me for a bit more and then turned his head and looked outside the window. Nurse went to the window and opened it again.

I came out the ward, went down the stairs, then walked down the hallway up to the exit, opened a door, and found myself on the hospital poarch. Sun was almost at zenith, and wall of bright green maple trees surrounds whole building, stretching up endlessly to the right and to the left. I went down the poarch and crossed the road. There was a parked car. I saw a mare who was advised to use only the ointments. She was sitting in driver's seat, talking to someone on the phone and at the same time looking for something in glove compartment. I passed by and she didn't even look at me. I crossed the road, then turned right and walked along the park, heading to editorial office. I thought about something again, when suddenly I heard a distant toot of a ship on the right side. It roared loadly in silence of day in beginning, and I thought to myself that there was nothing else in whole world besides this toot.