EX-Cakes Season 1

September 1st ,1899...

"Discord... we trusted you... YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!" yelled Rainbow Dash. She threw a tomahawk into his eye. Tendrils grew out of his eye and there wasn't even blood on the floor. He threw it back at her, hitting her in the arm.

June 8th, 2005, this is the day my life went to shit. I can't even believe the nerve of some ponies. I was walking home on day and a white Pegasus with a blue mane came up to me. He was wearing sweat pants, a bandanna and a white hoodie. his only weapon was a baseball bat and what looked like a gun tucked into his pants.

"C'mon, man, I really don't wanna do this," I said.

"Your life or your money, choose," he said. I really couldn't do much because the rival gangs had essentially killed every police officer in Ponyville. I saw a black car pull over next to me and a pony reached through the window, shooting at him, hitting his back, leg and cheek. blood  got on my face and dripped to the floor. I pulled the door open and got into my seat.

"You're packin' heat today, homie," I said.

"Dog, that's just the start," said my brother, Soulmate. My parents had died because Cloudsdale mercenaries shot out their tires. Me, Pinkie and Soulmate were the only ones left in our family. My name is Shaw Pie. I am classified as a hybrid. I have fangs and snake-like eyes. I never really knew why, but the doctors said it was a genetic thing and I always knew, "there's no way in hell that's the best they can do". Because unlike some ponies, I'm not a dumb little shit monkey. Pinkie was in the front. She was wearing pink jeans, a pink shirt and she had her mane ironed down. I wished Pinkie was the bright, joyful pony she was before, but I got to face it; she IS gone and there ain't shit ah can do about it. pinkie came out of the closet to us recently, which was shocking, but not really a bad thing.

"Fuckin' world's gone to shit," said Soulmate.

"Soulmate, please be positive, at least for now," said Pinkie.

"Oh, OK DUMBASS, YOU GONE PLAY THE POSITIVE GAME, HOW ABOUT WE ALL EAT SOME FUCKIN' SHROOMS AND LET ALL OF OUR FEARS GO AWAY!?!?!? WE'RE ALL GONNA GET SHOT ANYWAYS!!! NO, FUCK THAT SHIT, AH'M GOING TO STICK TO THE DAMN TRUTH, YA PSYCHOTIC SHITHEAD," he said. Pinkie stopped the car and bit her thumb so hard it started bleeding and drank some of the blood.

"Say... that... one more time... I dare you..." she said, gripping the wheel.

"P-Pinkie... please... calm down," I said, whimpering.

"YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, WHAT THE HELL HAS YOUR DUMBASS DONE FOR THE FAMILY!?!?!?" at that point I didn't even move I just sat there with tears of blood.

"Pinkie, for fuck's sake, that was between us," said soulmate.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm still working on that, therapy was a bitch," she said. insanity and other mental issues ran in our family. I was depressed and had extremely homicidal thoughts, Pinkie had minor schizophrenia and behavior difficulties. Soulmate really didn't have anything aside from ADHD. By the time we were home I was being carried inside. I passed out and woke up to soulmate quietly grabbing a bottle of something and immediately turned to me.

"Bro, what're you doin'?"

"uh... looking for a Pony Station controller," he said, blushing slightly. He quickly went upstairs and slammed the door.

"We all know you're clopping!" I yelled, still on the couch.

"Bro, would you shut the fu-" before he could finish his sentence Pinkie wet her hands and made a clopping noise outside the door.

"SEE? SHE GETS IT!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Pinkie... you can stop making that noise now!" I said down the hall.

"I thought you started doing it!" she said. My eyes widened and I slowly lied down and fell asleep.

I woke up a bit dazed and looked around. I was barely able to stand up. and I slowly walked around the house. I listened through Pinkie and Soulmate's door and heard nothing. It was dark, so I assumed they were asleep or getting food, but then I heard a faint yell in the basement. I went towards the door and gripped the knob. I had ALWAYS been told to stay out unless it was an it was an emergency. And I thought someone yelling was close enough. When I got down there he was on the floor with both of his legs taken off. Pinkie was holding a machete and was just... watching him.

"Shaw... run... FOR FUCK'S SAKE RUN," he said. I was paralyzed, unable to move. I just... stood there. Pinkie took this opportunity and threw a tomahawk into my leg. I yelled as loud as I could without killing myself and I laid there with my leg bleeding enough to soak through my pants. I barely saw her pick me up and carry me to a metal table before I blacked out.

I woke up, too weak to even move one of my fingers. I saw a blurry, pink figure in the back of the room. I attempted to speak, but I just kind of exhaled. Pinkie, though... she... she isn't normal. She heard it like a gunshot and walked up towards me with a knife.

"So you did survive... that's very fortunate... for me," she said, licking blood off the knife.

"Pinkie... what the hell...? I mean I'm guilty of some crazy shit, but... fuck," said a low-pitched whisper.

"C'mon, Shy, I'm sure you'll have fun with him,"