Against All Odds

"Son of a..." I groan as I rub the back of my head. "What the hell?" I mumble as I feel some kind of cushion under me, a bed maybe.

"See, I told you it could talk!" I hear a voice call out from across... wherever it is that I am.

"Alright, I believe you Rainbow, calm down."

"The hell is going on?" I ask again as I try to open my eyes only to shut them again once the light gives me a migraine the size of Texas. I rub my fists into my eyes, trying to get the pain to go away, but to no avail.

"I got 'em." A new voice says as I tried to stand up. A a pair of hand grabs my shoulders and gently but firmly pushes me back down onto the mattress.

"What do y'all want? Money?" I ask somewhat nervously as I start to struggle against whoever is holding me down.

"We wanna know what you are, that's what we want." Another new voice pipes up, this one sounding high pitched and raspy.

"The hell do you mean, what I am? Are you guys on drugs or something? Am I on a TV show getting pranked, is that it?"

"What? No, no... What are you?"

"I already said-" I say as I sit up, fighting against the pain in my head. I push the hands off my shoulders and open my eyes. I really wish I hadn't.

"Hello!" I'm greeted with nothing but pink... something, and huge eyes. I let out a yelp, throwing myself backwards on the bed. I look behind me an see another... thing, this one being orange.

"What the fuuuuck." I draw out slowly as I back up towards the side of the bed against the wall. I look around the room and see six creatures, none of which I've seen the likes of before. They're all about five to six feet, differentiating between all of them. The tallest one, the orange one, seems to be about my height, maybe an inch or two less, but that's not the freaky part, no. The freaky part is that they're all different colors, have fucking fur on them, have oddly shaped bodies, some weird-ass ears, two of them have big ol' wings on their backs, two have horns right on their foreheads, and the other two... well, still weird, but not as fucked up as the rest of them. They're all wearing what looks like casual clothing you'd see teens or young adults wearing around.

"Now I know I'm on some kinda drugs..." I mumble under my breath, though considerably louder than I planned to.

"What is it talking about?" The blue one whispers to a purple one.

"It? Seriously, I'm a guy. I should be calling you freaks!"

"Now listen here, you-" The blue one says as it starts stomping towards me.

"Rainbow, no. C'mon, it's obvious that the he's scared, and you aren't helping." The purple one says as she grab's this, "Rainbow," by the shoulder.

"Twilight, we don't know what this thing is, you're lucky I knocked him out when I did."

"He was carrying a baby Rainbow, how dangerous could he be?" A white one says from the other side of the room. The blue one goes to respond, but I shoot off the bed and onto my feet before it can respond.

"The baby, where is it!?" I ask frantically, trying to push my way past them and out the door. I'm stopped when something tugs on the back of my shirt. I look back to see some pink, aura-like thing surrounding a good chunk of my shirt. "The hell?"

"We're sorry about that, knocking you out that is." The purple one says apologetically. I give her an annoyed look, glaring at her with a look that would kill if it could.

"I was holding a baby and you freaks tried to knock me out!? What the hell is wrong with you!" I yell angrily, pointing around the room.

"To be fair, ya had the little fella wrapped up in a jacket. We didn't know." The orange one says.

"Oh, you didn't know!? Even then, what was the point of whacking me over the head?"

"You could have been dangerous. We didn't want to take any chances."

"Who... Who are you guys?" I ask nervously, my anger starting to fade away as I back up against a wall.

"Oh, of course! These are my friends, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and I'm Twilight Sparkle." The purple one says as she points to each of the creatures around the room.

"Dumb fucking names..." I whisper silently. "Okay, next question. What the hell are you?"

"What do you mean? Never seen a pony before?" Rainbow says as she waves her hands around the room.

"Not... in this sense, no." I say, giving her a confused look.

"My turn. Are you dangerous?" Twilight asks, giving me a concerned look.

"What no? Not unless you try to kill me again. I was just looking for a hospital, or maybe a police station. Look, point is, I'm not looking to start anything, I'm just trying to get help."

"Well, what are you?" Applejack asks.

"A human, duh. Name's Sam, not that you need to know."

"Well Sam, welcome to Ponyville!"

"Pony... what? Haven't heard of any towns named Ponyville in Kansas. Are you guys like some kind of runaway government experiment?"

"This guy's crazy..." Rainbow whispers to Rarity, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Look, where did you come from? Let's start from there." Twilight says, ignoring Rainbow's remarks.

"Last night I was driving on some back road when the guys in front of me started swerving on the road, because it was raining, y'know? So they crashed into this tree and rolled into this lake. I chased after them dove into the lake to see if everyone was okay. When I jumped in I blacked out, but when I woke up I was on the shore. The car was also there, so I went over to check on it, only to find the driver and the passenger had died from the impact with the tree."

"That sounds awful!" The yellow says, covering her mouth with a hand.

"It gets worse. I went into the back seat where I found this baby, right? So I pick it up, because who leaves a baby in the middle of a forest right? I carried it through the forest until I came across this place. Next thing I know I get knocked out by this asshole." I say as I point towards Rainbow who gives me an offended look before staring darts at me.

"Wait, so that baby isn't your's?" Applejack says with a surprised look.

"What? No, no it isn't. I'm twenty-one, and I'm not even married, why would I have a kid?"

"We just assumed-"

"Where is it? Where'd you put the baby?"

"He's downstairs with Spike, he's watching him, don't worry." Twilight says, pointing to the door.

"How do you know it's a he?"

"We checked when we brought him in. Why didn't you know that already?"

"I... didn't check. Look, I need to go see him, make sure he's okay." I make my way to the door, pushing it open and walking out into the hallway. I make my way down the stairs to find myself in a library, a circular one at that.

"Hey guys, is it- Oh, oh boy." I'm met by some purple-greenish lizard thing, probably about four feet tall, looking at me with fear in it's eyes.

"Y'know, I'm not even going to question it anymore." I roll my eyes as I walk past the lizard and towards the spot he had been sitting when I came down. They'd apparently made a small bed out of blankets and pillows where the baby was now laying straight-up naked in the middle of them. "Seriously? Guys you took his diaper off?"

"It was dirty." Twilight says with a shrug as she and the others make their way into the room.

"Well why didn't you put a new one on? Or at least wrap him back up." I say as I wrap him up in one of the blankets. "Have none of you taken care of a baby before?"

"I have." Applejack and Rarity say at the same time.

"Have you fed him? Washed him? Done anything?"

"We just got him here, calm down Sam. You were only out for maybe an hour."

"Alright, fine, whatever you say little horsey." I say while rolling my eyes. I get down on my knees to finish wrapping the baby up in a blanket.

"Little horsey?" Rainbow whispers in a confused tone. I ignore her and go back to caring for the baby.

"Look, is it okay if I leave him here while I go back into the forest? Someone needs to get that car out of the forest. Can't just leave it there, y'know?"

"Of course. But... I'm going with you." Twilight says as she walks over to the door.

"Fine by me." I say as I walk past her while rolling my eyes. I push the door open and walk outside. I turn around and look up to see the massive tree I was just inside of. "Damn... That's actually impressive." I mumble to myself.

"We might not be back for a while, so I'll see you guys later." Twilight waves at her friends as she starts walking towards me."Ready?" Twilight says as she closes the door behind her.

"I guess." I start walking in the direction I had come from... Or I assume it was this way. "So... ever heard of Kansas?"

"Can't say I have." She says as she readjusts her white t-shirt.

"Didn't think so... Know where I am then? Maybe how I got here."

"You said you dove into a lake?"

"Yeah."

"In... that forest?" She points towards the forest in the distance as we approach it.

"Yeah, why?"

"You know what yesterday was, right?"

"Uh... June 20."

"It was also the Summer Solstice."

"Who gives a fuck?" I respond as I squint at her in annoyance.

"I'll explain on the way there."

"Fine... You're only with me because you don't trust me alone, aren't you?"

"No, I... just wanted to help, that's all. I can help you get that... whatever it was you were going to get."

"It's called a car." I say in a monotone voice as I give her a deadpan stare. "So you don't even know anything about cars, which means you're only coming to make sure I don't try anything."

"Well, I-"

"Listen horse girl, you might think I'm gonna kill you're people or something, but I'm not, okay? I don't need you watching me like I'm a little kid who might draw on the walls when you aren't looking, okay?"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry... Someone has an attitude problem." Twilight gives me a sly smirk.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it." I say, returning the smirk. We continue towards the forest in silence, the only thoughts in my mind being how the hell I got here, as well as 'here' is. I'm pretty sure this is still some weird trip and that I'm tied up in a warehouse or something by a bunch of thugs, but whatever.

As we approach the forest, a chill runs up my spine causing me to shiver a bit.

"You're scared now?" Twilight teases me as she walks past me. I catch up to her and give her a stare.

"I'm not scared of a forest. Are you?"

"A little... actually." She says with a nervous chuckle as she rubs the back of her head. "But don't worry, I know my way around this place pretty well."

"Whatever you say..."

"Well, shall we?" Twilight says as she walks into the forest ahead of me. I roll my eyes and shrug as I catch up to her.

"Sure, why the hell not."