Pinkie Pie, the Laws of Physics, a Not-Pony, and Freezing Time

by Razor Blade the Unicron

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 4895

Pinkie Pie has fun breaking the laws of physics with a not-pony that Twilight is sure has a concussion.

Pinkie Pie has fun breaking the laws of physics and freezing time with a not-pony that Twilight believes has a concussion and should be brought to the hospital.
This is gonna get crazy.

On temporary hiatus.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-22 02:52:20 UTC

Welcome to Equestria

I woke up feeling tired and dizzy.

'Ooh... My head kills...'

"Are you alright?" asked a voice, "You don't look very good,"

I opened my eyes and saw that I was lying in a forest with a figure standing above me.

"Whazzat?" I mumbled in confusion.

"You okay?" asked the figure.

My vision became clearer and the blur became a blue horse with a rainbow mane and tail.

"Wh-what?" I asked.

"Are you okay?" asked the horse impatiently.

"Did you just talk?" I asked.

"Um, yes?"

"But you're a horse!"

"Pony. And besides, you're also a pony,"

"No, I'm not!"

"Did you hit your head on something?"

"What? No!"

I made sure not to look at myself, in case this pony was right.

"Maybe we should get you to a doctor,"

The pony suddenly unfolded a pair of wings.

"Aaaaah!!!!!" I screamed.

"What's wrong?" asked the pony.

"You have wings!"

"Uh, yeah? So?"

"But ponies don't have wings!" my voice was getting higher as I became more and more panicked.

The pony looked very worried, "You might have a concussion. I really think I should bring you to a doctor,"

I tried to stand up, but the pony put her front hooves on to my arms.

"Get off!" I yelled in a panicked voice.

"Twilight!" called the pony, "Could you come over here?"

A purple pony with a horn on her head walked over with some books somehow floating next to her.

"What is it, Dash?"

"I found this pony and I think she has a concussion," said Dash.

"What makes you say that?" asked Twilight.

"She panicked when I spoke and when I opened my wings,"

"That does seem like she hit her head," said Twilight, she (I think it was a she) turned towards me, "What's your name?"

I laid on the ground in shock and terror. Where was I?!?

"She was talking earlier,"

"Did-did," I started, "Did you just talk, too?"

"Yes..." said Twilight, "Rainbow, could you get off of her?"

Rainbow (or was her name Dash? I was gonna call her that, anyway) lifted her hooves off of my arms and I could move. I tried to get up, but couldn't seem to make my limbs behave.

"Let me help you," said Twilight.

I was suddenly flipped over and placed on to all fours. I glance down for a second and saw that I indeed had a hoof. I quickly looked up before I started screaming again.

"You... talked..."

The two ponies looked at me in a very concerned way.

"We should get you to the hospital," said Twilight.

I bolted from them, yelling in fear and terror.

"Aaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled as I ran from them.

"Dash, could you please get her? I think she really hit her head!"

When I heard Twilight yell to Dash, I ran as fast as I could from them.

"Aaaaaah!!!!!!!" I yelled as I ran through a town with candy-colored ponies.

"You really need to chill!" said Dash as she flew to my side.

I panicked so much that I ran even faster and faster.

"Please calm down!"

I ran so fast that I left Dash flying behind me with an odd look on her face.

"Twilight!" yelled Dash, "We need Pinkie! Only she can catch her now!"

The two of them ran towards what looked like a bakery. I noticed that I was still accelerating.

'Why can't I slow down?!?' I thought as I went even faster.

Suddenly, all the ponies around me seemed to stop moving and I was walking.

"Wh-what?" I said, utter confused, "What just happened?"

"I can tell you what happened!" said a bubbly voice.

I turned to see a pink pony with a pink mane bouncing towards me. I backed away slowly as she bounced towards me until I realized that I had pressed myself into an alleyway and the only way out was blocked by the pink pony.

"First of all, my name is Pinkie Pie!" she sang, "What's your name?"

"Um," I was scared by this pony, "I can't remember..."

"You don't? We'll just have to give you one! Let's call you Point Freeze!"

"Okay?"

"Anyways, back to your question you had asked! You ran so fast that time froze!"

"What about you?" I managed.

"I can go so fast that time freezes, as well! Rainbow Dash and Twilight asked me to come and catch you because they though you hit your head!"

"Oh, her name's Rainbow Dash..." I muttered to myself, "Wait, froze time?!?"

"Yeah! It will go back to normal sooner or later!" Pinkie paused, and then spoke in a more concerned voice, "Is something wrong?"

I started to say no, but my eyes filled up with tears.

"Yes! Something is definitely wrong!" I started crying and then fell on to the ground sobbing, "I don't know who I am or where I am or what I am! I'm lost and confused and I don't know what to do!"

Pinkie stopped bouncing and bend down to me.

"Don't cry," her voice was soft and comforting, "Don't be scared,"

I looked up to see that she had put her hoof out to me.

"I can try to help you," she said with perfect honesty in her voice.

I gave a small smile and managed to put my hoof on top of her's. She pulled me off the ground and back on to my feet, er, hooves.

"Thanks, er, Pinkie was it?" I tried to wipe away my tears.

"Your welcome," she said switching back to bouncy and bubbly, "Want to come to Sugarcube Corner? It's where I live!"

"Okay!"

As we walked out of the alley, I noticed that none of the ponies were moving yet.

"Is time still frozen?" I asked Pinkie.

"Yeah, but it's going back to normal, see?"

The ponies were starting to move bit by bit.

"Let's get to Sugarcube Corner so I can tell Twilight and Rainbow that you clearly don't have a concussion,"

"Thanks,"

As we arrived at Sugarcube Corner, which was the bakery I had seen Twilight and Dash, er, Rainbow run to, time resumed like normal.

"Hi guys!" said Pinkie, "I'm back with Point Freeze!"

"But you were gone for one second..." mumbled Twilight. She blinked and then turned towards me suddenly, "Alright, you aren't getting away this time!"

I was suddenly being lifted into the air and pulled towards Twilight and Rainbow by some force.

"Whoa, whoa whoa!" said Pinkie, who grabbed me out of the air and put me down beside her, "What are you doing?"

"Bringing her to the hospital, she has a concussion," said Twilight.

I was being pulled back towards Twilight by the same force.

"Point Freeze does not have a concussion!" Pinkie seemed mad now, "Why in Equestria would you say that?"

'Equestria? Is that where I am?'

"Pinkie, she-"

"Her name is Point Freeze,"

"Fine, Point Freeze got scared when Rainbow spoke and thinks that she's not a pony. Why would a normal pony be like that if they didn't have a concussion?"

"I am not a pony!" I said angrily, "I can't remember what I was, but I AM NOT A PONY,"

"That," siad Twilight in a matter-of-fact voice, "Is impossible. Unless you're a Changeling. Are you a Changeling?"

I was again picked up by the strange force and pulled in front of Twilight. She closed her eyes and pointed her horn at me.

"Um, how did you do that?" I asked nervously.

Twilight looked up and opened her eyes. She looked at me oddly before answering.

"Magic, or course."

"M-magic?!?"

Twilight seemed very concerned, as Rainbow had been earlier.

'Where did Rainbow go anyways?'

"I'm a unicorn. It's what we do. Now you are definetly coming to the hospital!"

I saw that her horn was glowing purple when the strange for- magic happened. I was lifted into the air again and Twilight started walking away from Sugarcube Corner, holding me in the air.

"Twilight!" Pinkie looked very mad, "Put down Freeze, now! She does not have a concussion!"

Pinkie grabbed me out of the air (again) and placed me right next to her.

Twilight whipped around, "Pinkie!"

Her began to glow, but it turned out that Pinkie was ready this time. She quickly grabbed my front hooves while Twilight pulled.

"Pinkie Pie! Let go of Freeze!"

"Nopie dokie, Twilight!"

Pinkie Pie smiled as she held on to me.

"Ready to break more laws of physics?" she asked.

I gave Pinkie a smile as time froze again. Pinkie walked over to Twilight and gently tapped her horn, releasing me from her magic.

"Ouch," I landed on the ground, "Thanks, Pinkie,"

"No problem! I don't know what's up with Twilight, she doesn't normally act like this!"

I stood up and walked over to Pinkie.

"Are we still going into Sugarcube Corner?"

"Nah, Twilight needs to calm down first. I have an idea! Let's go to Sweet Apple Acres!"

"Sweet Apple Arces? Is that some sort of farm or ranch?"

"Yeah! My friend Applejack owns and lives on it with her family!"

We started walking across town. I noticed that when time was frozen, I could walk just fine without having to think about it, but when it wasn't, I would trip and stumble.

'Weird,' I thought, 'But in comparison to being turned into a pony and having to deal with other ponies that can freeze time, fly and use magic, it's nothing!'

"Can I ask you a question, Pinkie?"

"Technically that was a question, but you ask me another one!"

"Okay. Why do you have a tattoo on your bu- flank?"

"It's not a tattoo! It's my cutie mark! A cutie mark represnts your special talent and who you are! Like yours!"

"I have one?"

"Yeah!"

"Um, do you have a mirror I could look in?"

"I have mirrors stashed all over Ponyville!" she reached into a bush a pulled out a mirror (with her hooves, I was quite sure how she was doing that), "Here you go!"

Pinkie held the mirror out to me. I paused for a moment, unsure of what to do, but reached out with my hoof and somehow took it from her. Before I looked at bu- flank, I decided to look at myself.

I had a dark purple mane that was very short and spikey. My coat was a pale green that actually matched my mane excellently. My eyes were a mix of orange and yellow, and all in all I looked very cute. I didn't see a horn on my head (much to my relief) and didn't see any wings on my back.

'At least I'm a normal pony,' I thought, 'Now to check out my tat- cutie mark,'

I managed to move the mirror so I could see my flank and saw a frozen clock with speed lines. I didn't know what it meant, so I just gave the mirror back to Pinkie.

"Thanks again, Pinkie,"

"No prob, Freeze!"

We continued walking though the town.

"Pinkie, I think the others are starting to move again,"

"It's okay! Twilight will have to find out where we went before she can try to catch you again!"

Time unfroze and ponies continued what they were doing. None of them seemed to care that me and Pinkie basically appeared out of nowhere.

'What the hay is with these ponies? Wait, did I just think "hay"? Is that what ponies say? Oh, buck it. I mean buck! Buck! OH, BUCK IT!' I abandoned my thoughts as we approached a large farm.

"This is Sweet Apple Acres!" said Pinkie happily, "I'll introduce you to-"

"Pinkie Pie!"

With a feeling of foreboding, I turned around and saw a furious Twilight behind us.

"Hi, Twilight! How did you get here?"

"Teleported. Now Pinkie, let me bring Freeze here to the hospital,"

I was sick and tired of this pony. I had only known her for probably ten minutes, but I was very irritated at her.

"Why," I asked viciously, "Do you think I have a concussion so badly?"

"Because you're acting like a pony who has suffered brain damage!"

My eyes flared with rage. Who did this pony think she was?

"I AM NOT A BUCKING PONY!" I said in rage, "WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"It's impossible!" said Twilight.

"Says the magical purple unicorn!" I retorted, "Pinkie here just froze bucking time, but you can't believe that I haven't always been a pony?"

Twilight opened her mouth to argue back, but said nothing.

"Can I bring Freeze to Sugarcube Corner, now?" asked Pinkie, "I was going to show her where she can stay,"

"S-sure..." said Twilight as she slowly walked towards a large tree (house?).

"I am so glad that's finally done with!" I said.

"Let's go to Sugarcube Corner!" said Pinkie.

"This place is awesome!" I said as I looked around at all the sweets and baked goods, "You live here?"

"With Mr. and Mrs. Cake!" said Pinkie, she paused for a second, "I'd better ask them if it's okay for you to stay here. Come on! They're probably in the kitchen!"

We walked through a pair of double door into a nice-looking kitchen.

"Hi, Mrs. Cake! Hi, Mr. Cake!"

"Hello, Pinkie Pie," said Mrs. Cake, "Whose your new friend?"

"This is Point Freeze! Do you mind if she stays with me for now?"

"I suppose so," she said, "As long as she doesn't take any of the food without paying!"

"I won't take anything without paying!" I promised.

"Come on!" said Pinkie, "Let's go upstairs!"

We walked over to the stairs, where I immediately encountered a problem.

"Uh, Pinkie?"

"Yes?" she had already started up the stairs.

"How do I climb up the stairs?"

Pinkie paused on the stairs.

"Oh! Sorry, Freeze! I'd forgotten that you haven't always been a pony!"

Pinkie ran upstairs.

"Be right back with something!"

I tried to sit down, but ended up just tripping and landed on my face.

"Ouch..." I muttered as I tried to stand up.

"I'm back!" said Pinkie, who was holding a bunch of balloons.

I quickly got to my feet, er, hooves and looked at the balloons/

"What-" I started when Pinkie ran over to me with with them.

She tied the balloons around my waist and I started floating up.

"It's getting pretty late, so I decided to teach you tomorrow!" said Pinkie as she pulled me up the stairs.

"Oh, okay,"

When we got o the top of the stairs, Pinkie untied the balloons and then let me into her room first. Her room was medium-sized and had lots of balloons, streamers, and confetti scattered everywhere.

"You can sleep in my bed with me!" said Pinkie casually.

I suddenly blushed, but ignored it.

"Sure! That's really nice of you, Pinkie,"

"I'm just trying to be nice to you. It's unfair that you don't know who you are or why you're here in Equestria,"

I managed to climb on to the bed and slipped under the covers, pink ones, of course.

"Goodnight, Freeze!" said Pinkie as she jumped under the covers (literally).

"Goodnight, Pinkie..."

I woke up, but didn't open my eyes. I could tell that the sun was already up, so I dove under the covers.

'Just a normal day,' I thought, 'Just a normal day in-'

I stopped thinking to myself, came out from under the covers, and opened my eyes. I was still in Pinkie's room.

In Sugarcube Corner.

In Ponyville.

In Equestria, land of talking horses and magic.

My eyes began to tear up again as I got out of the bed. I neglected to notice that Pinkie wasn't there.

'I'm still stuck in Equestria as a pony,' I thought.

I began to cry a bit when I noticed a pink note on the closet I walked over and started reading it.

To Point Freeze,

I left you this note because I had to get up early to do a few things! I just wanted to tell you not to worry, we're going to get you home! But for now, why don't you look in the closet and see if there's anything you like? I might have to cut some holes for your wings, but it's fine as long as I get to see you smile!

- Pinkie Pie!

"Wings?" I repeated after reading it, "Wings?!?"

I ran up to a full length mirror that was on the wall to see that I did have wings. They were xactly the same color as my coat which was why I hadn't noticed them orginially.

"I have wings?!?" I started getting a little panicked, "I have bucking wings?!?"

I realized that I was just getting myself worked up, so I took deep breaths to calm down.

'Might as well look in the closet to see if there's anything I like,'

I reached for the handle with my hoof when I realized that there was no way to open the colest with hooves. I paused to think for a minute, when I remembered something I saw a pony doing yesterday. She had been holding something with her mouth!

I leaned forward and grasped the handle with my teeth. I pulled back and it swund right open, to my pleasure.

'Sweet! I'm starting to figure out some stuff!'

I looked into the closet and saw many differnt outfits. Most of they were fun or silly, but one thing caught my eye.

It was a dark purple scarf with orange and yellow tassel. It was medium sized and looked like it had never been worn.

"It's like it was made for me!" I laughed as I pulled it out of the closet, "Wait, how I get this thing on?"

Almost in responce to my question, my wings suddenly unfolded and came spread out.

"Aaah!!!" I said in surprise, "Wait, maybe I can use these things!"

I practiced moving my wings around for a bit before I tried to put my scarf on. It took me several tries, but I managed to tied it loosely around my neck.

"Yes!" I smiled, "Figured ouot how to do another thing!"

I started walking towards the door to downstairs when I realized two things. One, I didn't know how to walk on the stairs. And two, my wings were still unfolded and were sticking out awkwardly.

"Oops!"

I walked back to the mirror and tried to close my wings. It would work, so I just folded them shut with my hooves.

"Finally!"

I turned away from the mirror and saw a second note on the door. I quickly ran over and read it over.

If you're awake enough, go over to the blue tile on the wall and tap on it three times! - Pinkie.

I saw a blue tile half-concelled on the wall and walked up to it.

"Wonder what this is gonna do..." I muttered as I knocked on the tile three times.

For a minute, nothing happened. I stood still as I waited for something to happen.

"Did anything happen?" I asked myself.

I looked arund at the wall to see if I missed anything.

"Huh,"

I turned arounnd and noticed that I was lower down than I had been earlier. I looked down and saw that I was on a platform with a timer ticking down on it. The timer was almost out of time, and was down to just four seconds.

"Three... Two..." I mumbled to myself, "One!"

Suddenly, the platform I was on got pulled away from me and I started falling. I was about to start yelling when I realized something.

'Pinkie would never hurt a friend! At least I hope not!'

I fell on to a slide and started sliding around and around. The slide seemed to break the laws of physics as I went left, right, up, down, forwards, and backwards.

"Whoa!!!"

I zoomed off the edge of the slide and went flying towards a wall. I closed my eyes as I was about to hit it, when it was suddenly pulled away and I went flying through where it was.

"Surprise!" yelled Pinkie as I safely landed in the downstair's part of Sugarcube Corner, "This is a 'Welcome to Ponyville' Party!"

I blinked for a moment in surprise.

'Pinkie planned a party for me? Well, her cutie mark is a bunch of balloons...'

"Do you like it?" she asked me.

"I love it! Thank you, Pinkie!"

The ponies cheered as I hugged Pinkie Pie in happiness. Some music started playing and ponies starting dancing.

"Do you do this for everypony that comes to Ponyville?"

"Yes indeedy! Let me get you some snacks!"

As Pinkie walked off to get some snacks, I realized that I had said "everypony" instead of "everyone" or "everybody".

'I guess this is how ponies talk. They say "hay" and "buck" and "everypony" and other things like that!'

"I brought you some cupcakes!" Pinkie placed one on to my hoof.

"Thanks!"

I leaned towards the cupcake and then shoved the whole thing into my mouth.

"Mmmm! This tastes great!"

"I made them myself!" said Pinkie, "Do you like the music?"

"Yeah, do you have a live DJ?"

"Of course! My good friend Vinyl Scratch is the DJ!" Pinkie pointed at a white unicorn wearing shades and headphones, "She's actually mute, so don't worry if she doesn't talk to you,"

"Thanks for telling me," though I hadn't been planning on talking any other ponies, as I only really knew Pinkie and Twilight.

"Be right back, I think we're out of punch!" Pinkie walked off, leaving me alone.

I stood nervously for a bit until and orange pony with a yellow mane (and a cowgirl hat!) came over to me.

"Hello, mah name's Applejack. I'm one of Pinkie Pie's friends. What's yer name? I know this here party is for ya, but I never got yer name,"

"My name's Point Freeze," I said shyly.

"Nice ta meet ya, Freeze. Where ya from?"

I thought carefully before answering. I didn't know of any other places in Equestria, so I decided to tell the truth.

"I'm not from Equestria. In fact, I think I'm from a different universe,"

"Come again?"

I had planned on being light on the details, but the entire story came out. With Twilight and Rainbow thinking I had a concussion, to me and Pinkie having frozen time.

"Would ya excuse me for a minute?" asked Applejack once I had finished.

"O-okay," I said nervously, why did I just tell her everything?

I watched as Applejack walked over to two ponies. One was a pegasus with a yellow coat and a pink mane. The other one was a unicorn with a white coat and an indigo mane. She talked with them for a few minutes, then all three of them came over to me.

"Freeze, this is Fluttershy," she pointed to the pegasus, "An' this is Rarity. We're all friends of Pinkie Pie,"

"Hello," I said nervously.

"Why hello, darling," said Rarity in a "fancy" way, "I really do like your scarf. It matches your eyes and mane,"

"Thank you," I said almost automatically.

"Um, if you get interested in adopting a pet or anything, you could ask me," said Fluttershy softly.

"Oh, thanks," I said nervously.

The rest of the party passed awkwardly for me, so I was pretty glad when it ended.

"Did you like the party?" asked Pinkie.

"Yes! I loved it!" I loved it at the start, anyways.

"Do you want to help with with something?"

"Okay!" I said eagerly.

Pinkie smiled as he ran into the other room to grab some things.

'Maybe it's not so bad being stuck in a place filled with pegasi, unicorns, normal(ish) ponies, and magic!'

What I didn't know at the time was that Twilight was going to make my time in Equestria very, very bad.

Shopping Time

It had turned out that Pinkie had only needed me to help her restock on party supplies. She had even given me a list with confetti taped to it for reference.

"If you have any extra bits, you can but whatever you'd like!" said Pinkie gleefully.

"Thanks, Pinkie," I said, tucking the list away in some light blue saddle bags with Pinkie's cutie mark on them that she had let me borrow, "What if I run into Twilight?"

"Don't worry! She says that she has to do something very important at this time of day on these days, so you'll be fine!"

"Okay..."

I casually strolled out of Sugarcube Corner, trying not to look nervous. Twilight could be anywhere. It didn't take very long for me to buy everything that Pinkie needed, and I still had a ton of the money she had given me. I think she called them bits or something.

I'm hungry, I thought, But what am I hungry for?

I walked through the bust market place, but nothing was catching my eye. It wasn't until I spotted something shiny down a thin alley between two houses that I was interested.

What's down there? I glanced around, but no one else seemed to notice the shiny thing in the alley, I guess I'll use my time freezing powers before I go look as to not draw any attention to myself.

I concentrated hard, and squeezed my eyes shut. I then opened them to see that every one around me was completely frozen in place. I gave a small grin, before walking down the alley and looking around. There was a somewhat-hidden door on the side of one of the houses, and it seemed to lead into some sort of shop. I felt drawn into the shop, and felt time unfreeze around me as I entered.

"Hey, kid!" said a tough-looking guy Earth pony from behind dark counter, "I think yer lost."

"I'm not lost," I said bravely, "I came here to get something to eat."

The Earth pony stared at me before nodding his head.

"Guess I've got a new customer," he said with a grin, "Come 'n sit at the counter."

I nervously sat down on one of the counter stools and looked up at the menu. None of the word on it seemed familiar to me, so I just picked one at random.

"I'll have a number seven." I said, pulling out some bits.

"First one's on the house," he said, pushing the bits back to me, "I don't normally get new customers in yer style, so I'll try ta be nicer."

I simply nodded and pushed the bits back into my saddlebag. The Earth pony turned towards the door and went through it; I noticed it let out cold air. There was a small ringing, and I realized that it was a bell over the door that I hadn't heard when I entered.

"T-Twilight?" I whisper-shouted in surprise.

"Freeze?" she whisper-shouted back.

We stared at each other for what seemed like the longest time until the Earth pony came back out of the door holding something red.

"Why, hello, Ms. Dusk," he said to Twilight, "I'll get your order going right away. Why don't ya chat with the new customer while I make it?"

Twilight nodded before walking over to the counter and taking the seat next to me. There was more silence until a sizzling noise popped up from whatever the Earth pony was cooking.

"I'm not going to do anything to you here," whispered Twilight, "I don't want Mince to kick me out."

"Mince?" I whispered.

"That's his name. Or, at least that's what he says it is. You don't use your real name here, even if it's known."

"Why?"

"You really don't know? It's so you can't be found out. Most don't like what we do."

Before I could respond, Mince came back carrying two metal trays on his back that we loaded with food.

"Got 'cher food all set," he said, placing one in front of me and the other in front of Twilight, "And you already prepaid, Ms. Dusk, so yer good."

Twilight nodded to mince before carefully examining her food.

"By the way," said Mince, turning towards me, "I didn't get yer name. What is it?"

"Uh... Pierce," I said, coming up with a name on the spot, "It's Pierce."

"Nice ta have you as a new customer, Pierce."

Mince walked back into the cold room, leaving me and Twilight alone. I looked down toward my food, realizing how amazing it both smelled and looked. Twilight had already taken a large bite out of her food, which encouraged me to do so as well. I looked at my food for one second before taking a giant bite out of it.

"This is delicious..." I muttered in delight.

"I guess it's nice to have another foodie to talk about this with," whispered Twilight, "But I still think you have a concussion. However, since I can't speak about this any of my other friends, we'll just keep it as our secret, okay?"

I nodded before finishing off my food in one bite. Twilight had also finished, so we both got up and headed towards the door.

"By the way," I whispered to Twilight before freezing time again, "What exactly did I just eat?"

"A one hundred percent pure beef burger." whispered Twilight.

"Thanks. I'd forgotten."